Kitabı oku: «EgreGor», sayfa 2

Chapter 3

A man’s life becomes much more interesting when his work brings him pleasure. Women for the most part realize themselves in the family, and men in work, which is the most important area of their life. However, there are women such as Vita. who realize themselves in the professional field as men.

I have significantly increased the number of primary patients – grapevine has worked. I became unexpectedly popular. The work took up a lot of time, and meetings with Vita became rare. I didn’t know that my lack of attention can lead to the fact that she splattered my feelings on the asphalt. That was the first time I encountered another side of her character.

It all started when I texted her that I was free and asked her to meet. In response, I received silence. She was silent for four days. Then she wrote herself as if nothing had happened. When I tried to find out what the problem was, I got a rude response: “Don’t ask too many questions” – and when I decided to find out what had happened, she said that it was not her way to meet on my schedule and that I also had to consider her time and desires, and if something did not suit me, I could easily find another mistress. “Where did such hardness come from such a fragile girl?” I couldn’t understand it. She seems like a lovely creature.

Two days later she came to see me.

– You’re good, after all, – she told me before the hypnotic session began.

– Something new from you, – I said.

– Really good. I am kind and also good.

– I didn’t say you were bad. And even, on the contrary, I thought you were white and fluffy. And very smart.

– Considered? Is it different now?

– Well, of course you’re smart. This is a fact. And beautiful!

– My attacks at all do not mean that I treat you worse. I’m perfectly aware of what I’m saying and I know where I’m going over the edge.

– I don’t doubt that you know what you’re saying.

– Enough! You shouldn’t have infuriated me!

– I didn’t see you as an object exclusively for horizontal desires. However, it was successfully lowered to a consumer. And this is unpleasant. But I won’t change your mind.

– That’s all you ever talked to me about…

– I told you that because passion swept over me like a wave and I was stirred up in you. It’s not just sex, it’s real passion. And you reduced it to mechanics. Without feelings, this is fitness, not sex, – I said, even more rudely than I expected.

– Well, punish me! – she said with a defiant smile.

– There is such a desire…

– Do you have any other desires? Or only maim?

– Maiming – certainly not our methods. And the wishes you make, such as years not to find. – I looked away towards the window after these words. I saw in her eyes that I had greatly amused her self-esteem by saying this.

– What did I say that hurt? Everything is as it is! Don’t pretend to be offended and humiliated!

– Sit down, let’s start the session.

Vita kissed me tenderly, and we started the session. The tension between us eased.

In order for the hypnosis sessions to have the desirable effect, I first needed to teach Vita to develop intuition. This meant that she was capable of deeper hypnosis. Gradually, however, I began to wonder how well her intuitive abilities were developed without my efforts. “If it goes on like this, I’ll be useless to her.”

The session meant that Vita, with her eyes open, would find the object I had hidden in the room. At first, she sat in a chair with her eyes closed, concentrating on the task. Five minutes later, she opened her eyes, trying to figure out what I had hidden and where. Then she walked around the office, examining it. Her glance fell on various objects. Deep down, I really wanted her to find what I had hidden. I wanted to be proud of her. After about half an hour, Vita opened the bookcase and gave me a meaningful look, then took out one of the books on the shelf, slowly walked over to me and put the book on my lap. She did it! I didn’t hide my admiration.

– Let’s do it again, – she asked.

I realized that the sessions did not tire her. On the contrary, they inspire her and give her strength, even calm her down. It turned out that our sessions became a necessity for her.

I decided that the next step would be more difficult. Now I did not hide objects, Vita had to guess among the many numbers written on the board, the one that I had guessed. I wrote the numbers in random order, put down the marker, turned to her, and gave her the command to start. She looked from me to the board and back again. I wondered if she could handle this difficult task. Half an hour later she got up, picked up a sponge, and wiped all the numbers off the board except ninety. Amazingly, she had guessed right again! How does she do it?! Her pleased, sly look always had the same effect on me: I want her!

There are women who you just get up and leave after having sex with. There are women with whom you want to talk after sex. And here you can very easily fall into the trap. We were lying on a small sofa in my office. Yes, I must be a pretty risky man to allow myself to do this in the workplace. But we only live once and we must not deprive ourselves of such pleasures.

– You are the best! Did I tell you that?

– No. Someone else.

– Don’t be sarcastic! Why do I feel so good with you?

– Because I’m the best!

– Well, that makes sense. This is how karma brings two great people together.

– Yeah, you never know when or where karma’s going to fuck you, – she can joke like no one else.

She left and I had an hour of free time. I sat at my desk and tried to make up an anamnesis, not knowing what to write. At one point, I thought, “Crazy, crazy Vita…”

A week later, Vita invited me to work for her. She worked at the department of the University where she studied. Her desk was littered with books, notebooks, copybooks, and a lot of notes. Among the papers I saw a printout of the layout of the chakras of the human body.

– Chakras?

– The same Maslow pyramid. It is interesting.

– More details?

– Basic needs always come first. But the attitude to the world and the relationship with this very world is different for everyone. I can even guess at what position your chakras are.

– In what way?

– To my mind, all you’re doing is eating, drinking, and having sex. However, the latter is my merit. In general, your relationship with the world is complicated. You have problems with society. Your brain is well developed. I see that you are tired of the world, Horus. This is not good. What do you want to prove in this world and to whom? After all, the three highest ones are a clear way to prove something to the world. I look at you and I’m amazed! You don’t have to prove anything to anyone, you’re cool! It seems to me that you live in a world that you are fighting, but life does not involve fighting.

– Thank you. But you don’t know much about my life, and it’s better that you don’t know many things.

– No matter what I find out, I won’t think any worse of you. And trust me; I won’t get any closer, any closer than you let me.

– But you won’t let me get any closer. Am I right?

– Yes. Do you know why I was sent to you? To teach you something important in your life! It’s just that you don’t understand it, but it’ll come to you later, – she winked, and I realized that she was changing the subject.

You always look at a person from a different angle when you find him at work. Vita knew exactly what kind of psychiatrist I was, but I had no idea what kind of work she was. Today I saw how her eyes burned. Looking at her, I saw her disappearing from the real world, plunging into the world of DNA.

Many things about this girl were strange and new to me. For example, I am not surprised that by the age of thirty she has no family, this is just easy to explain, but it is strange that she is thinking about such global issues by her age. Sometimes, I’m afraid of her madness, because you can’t imagine where it will lead her. Perhaps I am crazy, since I understand it in portions. If it wasn’t for Vita, I would never have thought about what I was trying to prove in life and to whom. She was right about that. But what? And to whom? There are things that she sees through, and that scares me. No one likes to be open, and no one likes to have his soul searched without permission.

What I admire about Vita is that she remains true to herself under all circumstances. She is true to herself even when she is unfaithful to others. But she is a great lover and interlocutor, and this overrides the other disadvantages. At least, that’s what I thought at first.

Chapter 4

I took a vacation and went to rest. Women need a joint vacation, because they go crazy alone, and men only benefit from a hermit’s rest. For a month, I forgot about work, forgot about everyone. I walked, drank, slept and so on in a circle. Fleeting women brightened my leisure. This is the treatment I would prescribe for everyone. But there is an important point and a significant “but” – you need to know when to end your preventive degradation. Otherwise, such treatment will only lead to the disintegration of the personality.

The vacation flew by as if it had never happened. But I managed to extend my summer into early autumn. Having had a good rest, I returned to Moscow with renewed strength, where my neurotics were already waiting for me. I love my patients at least for the fact that their problems bring me good money, which I drink, walk and thus solve my problems. Sometimes I think about the meaning of my existence, but then I pour myself into a glass of rum, and then I don’t think about anything else. I planted a tree, raised my son and daughter, and built a house. I have completed my tasks, and now it is my turn to reap the benefits.

I texted Vita that I was back, but she wasn’t very happy about it. I could understand it. I suggested to drink coffee.

We met in a cafe, and she was distant. I couldn’t understand if she had someone else in the meantime, or if she was just offended, but knowing her sharpness in communication, I didn’t dare ask a direct question. We talked about nothing, and she was polite but dry. When I left the cafe, I offered her a ride home. I kissed her in the car, and she accepted the kiss without resistance, and then I calmed down – so everything was all right. I still can’t believe how blind I was then. Why didn’t I see anything? Or didn’t want to see it…

It turned out that during my absence, Vita managed to fly to Mexico to study the pyramid complex. I didn’t share her passion, but I admired her tenacity. “Mexico… At what age did she hit her head?”

– The pyramids in Mexico are a whole complex, there is the largest pyramid in the world, its size is 450x450 meters. Scientists believe that if you transfer all these pyramids to the drawing, you will get elements of the star map. Also, the Mexican pyramids correspond to the Egyptian ones, if they are, again, schematically transferred to the drawing. Most of all, I was struck by the Wizard’s pyramid, which is a miracle of creation. Exactly at 17: 00 on the balustrades of the pyramid, a drawing of sunlight appears, and the image of a huge burning snake slides along the stones of the pyramid. I thought it might have something to do with the thirteenth sign of the zodiac, and then I thought, “Does DNA have anything to do with constellations?”

– Don’t you think you’re even more confused?

– I think I’m on the right way. You cannot ignore the thoughts that come to mind, they have some kind of intelligence. If you don’t believe me, that’s another question.

– It’s not about faith; it’s about how you prove it. To begin with, you need research or at least a theory based on some evidence base. These are just your thoughts, and they are not supported by anything else yet. Although, you know, I admire what you do. You bypass the usual methods, you look for other options.

– What if this information is not for our time? I may never be able to prove anything, but that doesn’t mean I’m wrong. Anything that doesn’t fit into your model of experience and life, you reject as something unworthy of attention, and I try to use any information. Scientists believe that the pyramids encoded the structure of the Universe, the person and his capabilities, but they cannot prove it. Man can prove anything, but he cannot prove anything that is spiritual: love, faith, for example. These concepts exist, and we know about them, but they are not expressed in formulas and do not pass any tests if they are tried to prove their existence.

– Vita, there are probably things you don’t need to prove. They are constant and exist independently of formulas. Science does not recognize spirituality. Besides, my professional activities have little to do with what you do.

– This isn’t about your profession! The point is that you reject the spiritual part of life! Your whole life is about meeting basic needs. What I do is directly related to your profession! You’re just blind! Okay, we’re here. Bye!

Vita got out of the car, and I watched her going until she went into the doorway. I don’t like being told things, I don’t want to hear or know. “The spiritual part of life… What does she know about my life?”

The next day Vita didn’t attend or even cancel the appointment. Her phone was turned off. For the next four days, she was also off-limits. I decided that I would not run after anyone, if she wanted to, she would show up.

In the evening, I met with friends and we drank beer. Most of my friends are married people, but none of them are happy. Someone had taken a mistress, someone had become disillusioned with life, and now he didn’t even need a mistress. Beer and computer games are quite able to brighten up the loneliness in family life. According to I have a certain contingent of friends; most of them realize themselves in work. I know from experience that the best driver of professional achievement is the imbalance between work and personal life. One of these categories should always outweigh the other. No matter what anyone says, there is no equal division. A person is so organized that his internal resources are not enough for several things at the same time, so that he can invest the same amount of energy, effort, and money in them. Unless, of course, we’re talking about children.

Women, women… The eternal headache of men. Comparing my women I can say that Vita is the only one who does not rape my brain in the classic style, as others have done and continue to do. She does things differently: she disappears, she is sarcastic, she is silent about many things, and this is a different type of violence. When I think back to that time in our relationship, I realize that I didn’t think about the fact that she didn’t care about me. I should have known that if a girl seems perfect, obviously she doesn’t really need you. But I with my innate sense of superiority couldn’t even think about it at the time. Women love me, and I use it – it has always been so. Until a certain time.

A month has passed since the last session with Vita. She’s gone. I was aware that I had no feelings for her, but inside I was worried about her. The point is that my ego didn’t want to believe that I was no longer interesting and that this was the end. For me, it is more usual and preferable to bring a woman to the stage where she herself would put an end to it. Again, this was my way of relieving myself of all responsibility.

On one of the working days, I was brought a schedule of patients for the next week, in which I saw that in two days Vita was registered. Appeared! Wow, she signed up officially, through the reception. Apparently, she didn’t want to write to me. Proud…

Vita came into the office, and I couldn’t help noticing that she looked stunning. A straight skirt, heels, leather jacket, and coiffed hair all combined to create a striking look. She asked for water, sat down in a chair and greedily drained a glass, then asked for another.

– I think Horus; it’s time for us to end the sessions as they were. Can you put me into deep hypnosis? – she said at once, without even asking how things were going. And we haven’t seen each other for a month!

– What’s changed?

– I went to Tibet and talked to a lot of people. My head is a mess, I need to sort my thoughts, and I… I can’t handle it. I feel like I’ve found something important, but it’s eluding me. As soon as I try to hold on, I just go crazy with despair.

She’s definitely crazy! Go to Tibet only to get depressed when she came back! This is very feminine! If I could roll my eyes to the floor and roll them back in, I would do it.

– Vita, there is a small nuance. Your nervous system is exhausted, and hypnosis is not a good idea right now.

– I know what’s better for me and what is not! – she said, suddenly loud and rude.

– I said no! – I saw the look of hatred on her face, but it quickly disappeared. It was obvious how important the upcoming session was for her, so quickly and expertly did she manage to control herself.

– Well, if you don’t want to work with me anymore, you should say so.

– That’s not what I meant. Don’t think about it, please. Tell me about your trip.

– Horus, I think I’ve realized that I’ve never been happy. I saw people there who were really happy. I came to Tibet to see a complex of one hundred and eight pyramids, and at the end it was like looking on the other side of the world. I saw a pyramid of Mirror. Tibetan monks believe that the pyramids are mirrors through which you can pass into parallel worlds. It is believed, that time in these mirrors is compressed as a special type of energy. There is a version of scientists, according to which, the pyramids absorb the energy of space and relay it to the DNA of living organisms on the planet. They explain their theory by saying that the complex of these structures is similar to the spatial structure of DNA. There is a strict mathematical sequence in the arrangement of pyramids on the Earth. I’m sure the same sequence is in the DNA. The reason for this is the very purpose of creation. Human DNA and pyramids are points of entry into the abode of subtle energies that have not yet been studied. But our thinking, that is, our consciousness, is not able to see and understand this sequence. To do this you need to think not as a person…

– Vita, I remind you that you are a future microbiologist, but now you are engaged in esotericism.

– Horus! I know it! But if esotericism is closer to understanding the meaning of life?! It’s very hard for me right now! As if the God I had believed in all my life had been taken away from me! As if I had borrowed him and given him back painfully! Or even stolen him! I have analyzed a lot and conducted one experiment… Listen, it has been known that if you draw an axis from the main pyramid of Tibet to the opposite side of the globe, the axis will point to Easter Island. If you connect Easter Island with the Mexican pyramids, the continuation of this line will lead to mount Kailas in Tibet. The two lines that connect Kailas with Easter Island through the Egyptian and Mexican pyramids delineate the earth’s surface area and are divided into two equal triangles. The main “mirror” of Kailas is directed at the Egyptian pyramids, and the two Northern ones – at the Mexican ones. The Sphinx looks towards Kailas. There is something else very important that concerns the entire planetary pyramid system. The height of the main pyramid of Tibet is 6666 meters, the distance from Kailas to the North Pole is also 6666 meters, and the distance from Kailas to Stonehenge is exactly the same. Repeating sixes are considered diabolical numbers, but I was told in Tibet that they are a symbol of God? – she finished speaking and looked at me wearily.

– You have to rest.

– What if we, the living people, have already lived on Earth since the first appearance of man? What if we leave messages for ourselves? That is, we dig up the remains of ourselves in the past. Writers, composers, scientists, inquisitors, kings, peasants, slaves – all of us. I mean, there were once Lemurians and Atlanteans on Earth who didn’t look like us today. What if we were the ones who lived in those days? I believe in the immortality of the soul.

– But there are more people! How do I explain this?

– We may be getting help from outside. If we consider the soul as an informational shell, this theory is correct. The soul has memory, but matter does not. DNA is the only link between people. The body dies and our consciousness dies with it, and the DNA stores the memory of who we were, starting from the moment of the appearance of man on Earth. Thus, it turns out that the DNA is an archive that is in us and contained in the pyramids, and it hides all the information about the human being.

I saw in her a mental struggle that hurt her. She had not yet reached the truth, but she was tired and disappointed. Vita came to me, sat down next to me, and kissed. She wanted to forget herself with sex, and I didn’t need to be coaxed into it.

– We’ll figure something out, – I told her as we lay on the sofa.

– The earth has a magnetic core that protects it. What if DNA also has a magnetic structure? This is what I told you earlier. Imagine that our health depends on the level of magnetism. I can’t prove that human DNA has a quantum atomic structure centered on magnetic fields. Modern science considers 90% of the chemical composition of DNA inactive, since there are no codes and genes are not produced there. I want to understand what magnetism depends on. Horus, are you asleep? – Vita nudged me in the side.

– Tell me, what’s so special about you? Where is the magnet that draws me to you?

– Perhaps I have activated my DNA, – she smiled in response.

What if she’s right? Or maybe she’s gone mad and it’s time for me to sound the alarm. Vita gets a medical degree so that she doesn’t have to work in her specialty. How so? As a senior, she became disillusioned with her training and decided not to do what she had spent years doing. According to her, the knowledge she received serves as a starting point in her search for truth, but she uses only a small part of it. So much effort and time wasted! I didn’t understand it at all. However, I now understand that she only brushed aside the unnecessary in her life, every time it interfered with her. Vita was not afraid to cross out the old and enthusiastically take on something new. Periodically, she fell out of reality, driving herself into a state of apathy, and it was very important that during this period there was someone who would pull her out of this state. She was so overwhelmed that she could no longer distinguish reality from fiction. If no one was around, she would withdraw into herself for a while, digesting the information, and then return to the outside world. There were too many contradictions in it. I didn’t always keep up with her moods and thoughts. But it was these contradictions that led her to what I have now. For this, we should be grateful.