Kitabı oku: «The Complete Cynic», sayfa 2

BOOK TWO

A little spark may smirk unseen. (T)

The wages of Gin is Debt. (T)

"The grinders may cease" – but the grind goes on forever. (M)

Actresses will happen in the best regulated families. (H)

Too many hooks spoil the cloth. (T)

One good turn deserves applause. (T)

Opposition is the surest persuasion. (M)

He who owes nothing fears nothing. (T)

You will never miss water while the champagne runs dry. (T)

Money makes the Mayor go. (H)

There's a Pen for the wise, but alas! no Pound for the foolish. (M)

Imagination makes cowards of us all. (T)

Wild oats make a bad autumn crop. (T)

The number of a man's widows will be in proportion to the size of his estate. (M)

He that is down need not fear plucking. (M)

Nothing succeeds like – failure. (H)

Let him that standeth pat take heed lest they call. (T)

Don't take the Will for the Deed – get the Deed. (M)

The doors of Opportunity are marked "Push" and "Pull." (T)

Charity is the sterilized milk of human kindness. (H)

The greatest possession is Self-possession. (T)

Pleasant company always accepted. (T)

The gossip is not always of the swift, nor the tattle of the wrong. (T)

Advice to Parents – "Cast not your girls before swains." (T)

Only the young die good. (T)

The Doctor's Motto – A fee in the hand is worth two on the book. (T)

Give an inch and take an ell. (T)

What can't be cured must be insured. (H)

The more taste the less creed. (T)

There is no time like the pleasant. (H)

The danger lies not in the big ears of little pitchers, but in the large mouths. (T)

He jests at scores who never played at Bridge. (T)

Women change their minds a dozen times a day – that's why they are so clean-minded. (H)

A gentle lie turneth away inquiry. (H)

Never too old to yearn. (T)

Kind hearts are more than coronets – few girls can afford to have either. (T)

 
He who fights and runs away
Will live to write about the fray. (H)
 

The pension is mightier than the sword. (T)

A fool's paradise is nevertheless a paradise. (T)

Let well enough alone – there's brandy and soda. (M)

A fellow failing makes us wondrous unkind. (H)

Society covers a multitude of sins. (T)

All is not bold that titters. (T)

The ways of the transgressor are smooth. (H)

The Steamer's Motto – You can't eat your cake and have it, too. (H)

The more waist the less speed. (M)

The self-made man is often proud of a poor job. (T)

BOOK THREE

Many a man's house is his Bastille. (T)

Costly thy garments as thy tailor will stand for. (M)

To have and to scold. (M)

Busy people are never busybodies. (T)

To make the winter pass quickly – sign a note in the fall. (H)

The Grafter's Motto – Work ill done must be twice paid for. (T)

Never give up from the ship. (M)

Look out for your friends – the neighbors will look in for themselves. (T)

Come in (and see if you can stay in) without knocking. (M)

Better a live doggerel than a dead sonnet. (T)

A cat may look at a king – but it takes four aces to see four of 'em. (T & M))

Chicago Motto – I smell a vat. (M)

Diplomacy: Lying in State. (H)

Millionaire: A large body entirely surrounded by water-ed stock. (T & M))

Contentment is the smother of invention. (T)

"The law is open" – to question. (T)

Life Insurance Motto – Robbing the widows early and orphan. (T)

An ounce of convention is worth a pound of explanation. (T)

Opportunity knows no law. (T)

Avoid the plate in sincere prayer. (M)

A kiss in time saves brine. (H)

The Doctor's Motto – Better a dead patient than a live appendix. (T)

Whom the Gallery Gods love dye young. (H)

The locksmith is the only tradesman Love can afford to laugh at. (T)

Where the fire burns hottest there is no smoke. (M)

Nobody's business is everybody's curiosity. (T)

Rice makes might. (H) General Oyama.

Sow your wild oats in a peach orchard. (M)

First waters run steep. (H)

A hair in the head is worth two in the brush. (H)

 
O woman, in thine hours of ease,
Uncertain, coy, and hard to please,
When pains of anguish wring the brow,
You send us to the hospital now! (T)
 

Take what comes your way – but select the way. (T)

He that seweth the wind will bust his singer. (T)

Jealousy is confession of weakness. (T)

Chauffeur – and much further. (H) Motophor.

Put not your Trust in investigation. (T)

All's well that ends swell. (T)

Meet out Justice as she should be met. (M)

The woman who forgives and doesn't forget is trying to preempt heaven and raise hell. (T)

Fed men tell no tales. (M)

A "wise" son maketh a mad father. (M)

"Time" was made for knaves. (T)

One man's canned meat is another man's poison. (H) The Packer's Proverb.

Once a good fellow always a good thing. (M)

Pluck not the date of the itching palm. (T)

There's always room at the top – after the investigation. (H)

On with the dance, let joy be unrefined. (M)

Not lost, but gone to law. (M)

Let your X-rays so shine that they may see your bad works. (T)

The mug that goes often with the swells will some day be broke. (H)

A woman on time is one in nine. (T)

There are enough serious things in life without considering yourself one of them. (M)

First catch your reputation and then see if you can keep up with it. (T)

There are more fish taken out of a stream than ever were in it. (H) The Angler's Motto.

Many a smile maketh a flirt. (M)

 
I was glad when they said unto me,
Let us go into the house of a lord. (H)
 

Snob's Text.

Architecture! Oh, the crimes that have been committed in thy name! (M)

Obesity is the mother of Abstinence. (H)

Blessed is the peacemaker; for he shall need the kingdom of heaven as a refuge. (M)

He jests at scares who never dodged a car. (T)

A switch in time saves a fine. (H) Motophor.

Of the six senses: the mightiest of these is humor. (M)

It's the man behind the chauffeur who gets the jerk. (T & M)).

Necessity knows any mother-in-law. (H)

The world is divided into two groups: those trying to get thin and those trying to get fat. (M)

What's in a name – without seventy-five per cent. advertising. (M)

The worst thing about cynicism is its truth. (T)

Tell your secrets and become a slave. (M)

Hunger is the best sauce – and the worst boss. (M)

To go wool gathering. (T) Wall Street's Motto.

You may drink hearty but not healthy. (T)

He who will have a finger in every pie will some day find it mince. (T)

Don't kill sheep too near home. (M)

He's a friend to none who's a friend to oil. (T) The Standard Motto.

I would fain not die a dry death. (M) With apologies to "The Tempest."

A penny yearned is a penny shaved. (T) The Sage's Motto.

 
O wad some power the giftie gie us
To see some people before they see us! (M)
 

Discretion is the better part of indiscretion. (T)

Love is blind – that explains many things. (M)

 
A cad – the other man.
A cat – the other woman. (H)
 

In the midst of life we are in debt. (M)

A man of courage never needs weapons – but he may need bail. (M)