Kitabı oku: «Space: one hundred one story of surrealism», sayfa 5

“Study hard, my son.

He snapped his finger, and both of them began to understand letters and numbers, the human mind returned to them, rejecting the horse’s mind.

Indians and cowboys live on a towel that dries on a radiator. They are rock climbing.

Several chubby and skinny people are sitting in a flask in the laboratory of Professor Mendeleev. Mood and emotions are squeezed out of them, sweat for cooking chocolate. Then the mood is implanted in marshmallows, in lights, in mirrors, in water. The water cries because the earth does not run out of water, the fire laughs because all the kangaroos die in Australia.

The most important thing is not this. And that besides them, there are other beautiful creatures in the world that completely prove themselves in the field of development. The tea leaves are building a time machine to save their children from getting into the hot water. The box of “Princess Noori” is already on the shelves, and the older leaves have only a few days to build a time machine inside the bag and fly away from this hell. They make gears, chips, energy, wheels, an atom splitter out of the dust of their skins, so that only once, once, fly to the other side of the past. But when the time comes, they do not have time, and boiling water kills them, they drown. Sometimes, the surviving leaves float on the surface of the milk, try to climb onto the bowl and jump down, but the person drowns it with a spoon, closes the cup with a lid, or throws it in the trash,

And in honey, by the way, the gods of temptation live. They beckon you to eat them and they penetrate you. After all, they fight with your brain, and take over the neurons, and control you so that you yourself, without knowing it, begin to eat what your honey god wants to eat. The temptation is strong. God might want a rotten egg and you can’t resist, or he might want a juicy steak and you’ll find a way to cook a steak. And if not, then the Negro, your servant, will find a pig on the street, slaughter it, and cook it for you, while he himself will be content with a bone. It happens that a negro fights with a dog for a bone, and sometimes with other slaves from a neighboring village who came from a disco. Even the white bums manage their slaves and send them out into the street to beg, and instead of the money they bring them, the bums give them banana peels and apple seeds. This is how slaves survive. Among the slaves there is one unique, unlike any of them – four-legged. He shoots cobwebs from his butt and likes to hang from a tree and eat mosquitoes that land on a banana peel that his homeless owner gave him. However, all whites could manage each other’s slaves. So there is a cycle of the earth. Where God is, there is always devastation and war.

And in the sixth planet, lost in three seconds between two, which in the mirror is ten between nine, there are surprisingly lively delicacies. Pasta is made of worms, instead of meat, nuts, and when you put it in your mouth, the worms become pasta, and the nuts become meat. The oil drunk from the canister turns into strong tea, and the gasoline that comes from gas stations, getting into a person’s mouth, turns into multi-fruit birch sap. Here, when someone wants to eat, they chew grass, because the grass becomes cheese, and the cheese itself can be used to lubricate the chains of bicycles and motorcycles. If you pour gasoline into your mouth and spit it back out, the juice becomes gasoline again. Therefore, both gasoline and juice here cost exactly the same. Sixty-nine rubles ninety kopecks per liter.

In a kettle that boils on a gas stove, inside, instead of bubbles, small planets are formed with their own rules and laws. The planet flies and bursts. But in this fraction of seconds, wars are born on the planet, dinosaurs die, time machines are built and they are visited by aliens from other planets. They age and die. In one nanosecond, a million years pass. And none of them know that they are bubbles in the water. And they die, because scientists said that the lid of the universe would soon open, and its bottom would stop warming their world, they would freeze and dissolve into one large plane. From a clean slate, as if there had never been planets, but there was only emptiness – black and immense. And so it happened. The fire went out, the lid opened, and they spread like butter on a frying pan. There was one transparent universe, but dark with a closed lid. Evolution has stopped. It happens at times that, getting into the cup, bubbles form with renewed vigor, but already dark, cold, where snow creatures live. They live the same way for millions of years until they enter the human stomach, or when the spoon stops spinning them in the funnel. Scientists say that the center of the funnel is the center of the universe, that everything goes there and dies. They were right. Once there, their world burst and they all disappeared. They couldn’t do anything.

And once, one of them was able to fly to the side of the cup, and become a solidified universe – a planet, sugared in a bubble. And their world existed for trillions of centuries. And a scientist from their world was able to go beyond his world and find that they are just dust, even less. They entered the subatomic world. Their planet also had subatomic particles, but they were visible only through a microscope, just like in our world. But it turns out that the scientist did not know everything, and having left his world, he got into our reality and became subatomic himself. And from there there is no way out. They say that there are rumors that he still flies there and is looking for a wormhole in reality. After all, there are holes in the subatomic world that send you into the world and make you the size you were in your world. That is, a subatomic person who has fallen out of there becomes a full-sized person, nothing else. If an animal from that planet got there and found an enlargement portal, it could become the size of a cow, and maybe an elephant. If we ourselves got there and flew out into the hole, we would become a person on that bubble, completely invisible. Time would speed up for us, and we wouldn’t even notice that we hadn’t been home for a hundred years.

If you look at the light bulb, it seems that it shines and everything around you can see, as if in the sun. In fact, it does not burn, and our eyes themselves see the world as such, because we inspired ourselves that the light bulb shines. We screw in a light bulb and rejoice that there is light, in fact, we screw in a light bulb that never burns and never burned. It’s all an illusion of perception. Playing with us and with our brain. As is the night. We invented it to sleep. No, the brain invented and forgot to tell us. The brain controls us, not we. In fact, after all, we are brilliant creatures and use the brain only for a percentage, but even this is enough to get the ability to see in the dark with “not a light bulb”, with the bulb turned off. If we could use the brain at ten or forty percent, then we could not breathe and be alive outside, fly out of our world, and the suggestion of that it is cold in space and the vacuum compresses the body to a raisin would cease to be a problem for us. In fact, there is nothing in space, and we ourselves create fear of it. The more one believes in it, the stronger the illusion. In a word, the whole world is the same as ours, but because of the unknown, we alter and invent those laws that, in principle, do not exist. The brain itself is suggested, and when we get into space, our thoughts become reality and we freeze, shrink, and the brain helps this by sending a command to the whole body to shrink and cool down. we alter and invent those laws that, in principle, do not exist. The brain itself is suggested, and when we get into space, our thoughts become reality and we freeze, shrink, and the brain helps this by sending a command to the whole body to shrink and cool down. we alter and invent those laws that, in principle, do not exist. The brain itself is suggested, and when we get into space, our thoughts become reality and we freeze, shrink, and the brain helps this by sending a command to the whole body to shrink and cool down.

Yes, it seems to you that everything around is real, but that’s why the brain works to make everything seem real and you don’t feel like a machine. Precisely because everything seems so, we do not even think about what could be otherwise. We can even go out into the astral world and see that we are flying in space, and everything – houses, garages, animals, cars, TVs, lawn and trees, barrels and a golf course, they are not. We wander through space like a forgotten flip phone. And everything that you see is invented by people, of course, but by people who send imperceptible impulses of perception to each other, and what they came up with is seen by everyone around. That is, the created vacuum cleaner is an illusion, but the thought of the one who created it was transferred to the thoughts of all people around the world, and therefore, they see the same thing as him. And when one of the people moves a thing, the impulse again goes to the brain of all people, they say, he moved it, and now the vacuum cleaner should be seen right here. And once again, when someone sees that damned vacuum cleaner, it’s not there, but they will see it.

If we look at a cup that stands on the table from the horizon, it will seem to us that it does not have a top and bottom, as usual, i.e. it has no bottom and no hole. And we cannot know if it is from below or from above. The bottom is created at the moment when we approach, so that during our full approach, it can be recreated into a container with a bottom. From the horizon, we see the model in the second dimension, like paper, and it has no volume, until we get closer and realize that this object must have volume, because we have seen it as volume all our lives. But as soon as we move away, the object begins to turn into 2D. The further we move away, the less important it becomes for the environment. Pixels, no clarity. Imagine that we have drawn a still life, and we see that there is volume, there is color, beauty and height, that it seems to be real, but as soon as we get closer and take a closer look, we understand that this is a drawing. It’s the same with 3D objects. They seem to us as objects in the second dimension, turning into the third. If I tell you that that milk carton on the floor doesn’t have a bottom, you can’t know if it actually has one or not until you check for yourself. And you won’t know if it has a back side that you don’t see now. Or she doesn’t. You guess. Assume, you can’t be sure. Most likely, the whole world consists of small pixels, and it is true – atoms, matter. Even we have them. This means that if we are them, they are us and we interact with each other without even though, instinctively, and just as instinctively, the atoms rearrange themselves and create the world behind the box, under the cup and the world behind us, for those who look behind us. For my perception, my back is not there, it is empty, but I understand that there was a wall there yesterday, and turning around, I see that it really is there. At that moment, matter was transformed into something that we took for granted. As a given, the world around me and those around me has been created, because they fall into my world of perception. Imagine that you have never been to my house, but when you visit me, you see my house, its walls, floor, chairs, wallpaper. All this is the effect of an illusion, an effect which has been conveyed to you by the impulses of my brain. Yes. When you enter, you already know where my kitchen is and where the bathroom is, if you have never been to my house. This is because I have sent you information that you may need and have created a floor underneath you so that you can move around. For both of us, there is that world that we can catch with particles of the eyes, perception, feelings. While we both look ahead there may be no house behind us, or maybe there is, because someone from below is currently looking at our house and watching. But in general, those people are also not there until we enter into interaction with them. Confusing, I know, but such is the world. A person can see the shell of the house from below, but never see the whole picture inside. And inside the house a stingray, space or a drunken raccoon can live.

But in space itself, things are quite different. We are forever falling in all directions, with the entire galaxy. We are a perfectly even circle that spins in place, like a top, but when viewed from above, it will seem that we are standing still. Whether the world is falling or not, it does not depend on us. Somewhere out there, beyond the galaxies, there are other aliens who are alien to see the near, and they create the far, with thoughts and actions. They will never reach our system, but will always be the ones that cause our galaxy to fall. They, trying to look at us, hide us from ourselves. That is, looking at our galaxy, the galaxy disappears from their field of view. It’s like with worms, when you cry, and out of the corner of your eye you see worms swimming in front of you, right in the air, and trying to concentrate on them, they disappear from below, then from above, and sometimes even forever. Try pushing the bearing with a needle, the ball will roll, and the needle will slip, in the wrong place. You will not be able to pierce the ball. How their eyes cannot catch and pierce us, forcing us to fall down all the time. Maybe that’s why they can’t find us, they just don’t see us.

If you watch the clock strike at the same time every year, you can see a fairy moving the hands of the clock between five and six. And if at this moment you put pressure on them, then the fairies will fly out of them, and the clock will never work again, no matter how many masters watch it. Of course, if watchmakers have pet fairies that they keep in matchboxes, the fairies will only be happy to help. They cannot pass them, no matter how powerful the fairy is. Fairies like to hold the clock hands so they don’t go backwards. They do not like to remember the past, because one tick back, and the fairies will become dumber than one tick ahead. In order not to learn everything all over again, the fairies pump their muscles to maintain the order of time, we keep the clock in check.

When you get underground, after death, in no case do not laugh at the dead, especially at yourself. The lord of the underworld does not like it when someone rejoices in death and jokes about it. After all, death is his wife. They catch souls with a fishing rod and lock them in baskets to hang on clothespins over the fire. They like to torture them and drink cognac from the blood of a mule and twenty-year-old virgins. Death releases souls, sometimes to hunt them, thrust a spear and quarter them. Remember, if you are told to run out and try to get to the surface, to your friends, then shake your head and punch Death in the eye and you will be caged forever and never released. It is so right, it is better to burn than to burn and be full of holes, it is better to sit forever whole than to consist of mosaics. Once Napoleon made a mistake, punched him in the eye and ran out, decided that he would have time to get out, through the hatch on the roof of Satan’s stagecoach, but no such luck. In one big step, Vladyka took it out and released it through a meat grinder, smeared it on a baguette, put a huge pile of poisonous musk on top, and gave the Cerberus for dinner. Cerberus chewed it, then flushed it down the toilet, from there Napoleon got on the table to the vampire worm, and the vampire worm, having flushed it into his own, got a pedophile rabbit who loved the French for lunch. For seven years, he raped a baguette with minced meat, until children began to grow out of Napoleon and tore open his stomach, eating the insides from the inside. After hatching, the children began to sculpt different types of buildings from Napoleon, beat him against the walls, drown him, stir with acid, fry on a fire and stuff the intestines of dead rats into him to create a stuffed animal. Napoleon then realized that it was better not to try. And when he saw that there was no way out of the hatch at all, and there sits the daughter of Death – he was disappointed that he died. The daughter was even scarier than the mother. She came down exactly one week after that incident to play with the prisoners with dolls. They especially liked to pull out their arms and legs, and put their heads back in place, laugh, and then smear it on the diamond floor with a paver. Spread on cucumber, and throw to be eaten by chickens. They pecked at him for seven hundred years, for they were eyeless. And they completely forgot how to use the mouth. From time to time they went off to read books, develop, but returned. You can’t read without eyes and books. Therefore, the daughter of Death closed the chickens in a cage with Napoleon until they learned to find the Frenchman by the smell of “fear”. And the Lord of Darkness immediately released the children through a meat grinder and made sausages and kupaty, and eats them, roasting them on a fire, drinking coffee out of pity,

General Pook lives on Jupiter. It was he who created Jupiter with his fart, and hurricanes are still raging there, because he cannot stop.

And on Mercury there lives a naughty beast, he jumps out of the ground and hits the rover on the ear, and goes down. The rover turns around for two years to see who hit it, and it slams from the other side. So the rover could not stand it, pulled out the cables from itself and hung itself on its hands, tying around its neck supplying power to the motherboard, and died.

Do you think everything is so good on Saturn? No, of course, what else did they think of me here! There, by the way, right between, porpoises live and experiment on themselves by inserting the hearts of stones. Yes, the stones there are real creatures. Only pigs are stupid. That is how they all killed themselves, because one of the stones contained the swine coronavirus. They became infected from each other and died from lack of air. And then they got up, burst out laughing, and realized that they didn’t breathe any air at all. Relaxed immediately. In addition, in a vacuum, even the blood did not fly out of their body. Why, they didn’t even have blood circulating through their veins. If, once it goes through their veins, they will die, because their hearts are made of stone and will explode from vibration. Therefore, they do not fly to where there is another gravity.

Only on Earth it was boring to live. Fleas interfered all the time. They bit the head when it was necessary to do something grandiose, for example, once, there was one detail left to complete a twenty-year experiment with a portal to another world, when suddenly a flea flew up, bit a person on the head, and he is a sensitive kind of person – dropped the tool and shorted out all the controls and reset the settings. Twenty years to the cat in the ass!

That flea was later found, handcuffed and put in jail. His convicts are still kicking him. But if you kick in the wrong place, she will bite off her head, it will itch, that it will be possible to pull out the brain through the skull. That’s how severe itching comes from his bite. One prisoner was even cut off his head and placed in a three-liter jar. Bloch fought and fought, but could not get on his hairy head. And one had the nerves removed. The third one could not stand it at all and bit off the head of a flea himself, the first one beats the one who is not afraid to lose, he thought. Only the flea was armor-piercing. With a wave of his hind legs, he cut it in half. Now this convict walks on a gurney, carrying his soulmate on a leash, on a skateboard.

In the bathroom of every Neanderthal, a soul snake lives, right in a tiny cave. She swallows them and turns them into blood cells in her body.

“If you don’t run through your veins, you will die,” the snake said, having once swallowed a man, “they will trample you, smear you on the floor, and you will be stuck here forever.” He ran and ran, cherishing the hope that one day he would break out of the endless circle of the treadmill.

So, one family came to visit a Neanderthal, went to the toilet, the shower hissed, turned into a snake and swallowed the guests. Do you think she stopped after she swallowed the first one, no, she crawled out of the bathroom, found people sitting in the kitchen, grabbed her leg, and dragged them into her. They hit her body at that moment, knocked them down, put on the suits of leukocytes and erythrocytes, and began to drive the whip from behind. Neanderthals and their guests fled, their legs became muscular, their arms powerful. When a blockage formed in the veins, and an old red blood cell ran across the road to die, they hit it, and it shattered into pieces and died, somersaulting on the ceiling.

And, here, when two o’clock in the morning comes on earth and the minute is equal to three, inanimate, soulless objects come to life all over the universe. The meteorite rearranges itself into the oncoming lane, drunk from lack of air, and flies into the planet, killing peacefully sitting squirrels that are roasting kupaty on a fire. Plush bears go out to fight with plush elephants for a new habitat, in the upper part of Vanya’s boy’s box, so as not to smell the feet and look at the patterns on the butt of other toys. And a zebra, stuffed with iron teeth, hunts a lion to eat him for breakfast. That is why sometimes plush toys lose weight. Other predatory animals gut them, eat the insides and protect them back, because every Sunday of the week, they go to needlework lessons. From a very early age. The Kuiper belt, at exactly two hours three minutes, sees how the Snowman resorts to it to twist it at the hip and lose weight. The pens, meanwhile, jumping out from under the bedside table, from the closet, from schoolchildren’s briefcases, go out into the birch grove, peel off the bark, and inside they write stories, stories about what they have long wanted to tell. The trees don’t mind. This is how they learn to speak and get smart. Sometimes, a chainsaw comes to them and cuts a book out of them to secretly hide in the library under an unknown pseudonym. This is how stories get into the world of people and into the minds of the reasonable. to secretly hide in the library under an unknown pseudonym. This is how stories get into the world of people and into the minds of the reasonable. to secretly hide in the library under an unknown pseudonym. This is how stories get into the world of people and into the minds of the reasonable.

Pillows, animated by the magic of numbers, sometimes throw people to the floor, they hit their heads and wake up, they see those, that’s when the pillows choke them, and they die. People then find the reason that they forgot to roll over during sleep and suffocated, but only we know that the pillow suffocated them.

Socks wake up and go to play catch-up, and the most advanced ones can grow out of themselves as a clone person and buy something they like in the night shop. There have even been cases of socks growing on the ears of a person so that the ears do not freeze when ghosts blew into their ear.

Also at night, dead flies at the windowsill, beetles on the ground, mosquitoes and worms come to life. They go to their relatives and drink sugar syrup or milk with them. Mosquitoes try to get blood, but no matter how long they drink it from a cow, blood drips from their proboscis, because they do not have a belly. So, a million mosquitoes that came to life that night sat on one cow and drank it, drying it to the bone. And the desiccated, dead cow also came to life and began to eat, believing that she was still alive, until in the morning she fell to the ground and died again.

The hoses from under the water sting the animals, and the balls roll up the mountain to see what is behind that mountain. Decorative scarecrows come to life to see the world, leave the estates and plunge into the wild lands. They communicate with relatives who are still alive, adopt their habits, and return back, satisfied with their lives. The toy cars come to life to shuffle and carry little non-living creatures wherever they are asked to. And a toy created for a teleporter suddenly becomes a real teleporter, and a predator that should kill begins to kill animals in the forest. They come to life the way they were meant to be. The ball flies into the sky and sees space, and the Barbie toy goes to Monaco, to the podium to show that she is also a model. Cars leave for the Grand Prix, and planes, having forgotten that the war has passed, are sent to war and bomb the fields. Refrigerators eat food from other refrigerators, and TVs, not seeing anything on their own, watch programs on another TV. So, they also hold sessions, putting on the same films, and eat popcorn and chew gingerbread.

And when playing games, in particular in a casino, money can be withdrawn directly from your mouth by linking your biometrics in that casino by touching the monitor. Forensic experts work behind the monitor, they quickly read the patterns, and the artists draw a picture, hang it in front of the cell in the bank. And if you program a closet, you can receive money there. And in some cases, by reaching out to the monitor, you can get into the bank where gremlins walk and write out checks for winnings, approaching them and demanding your winnings – they will brazenly look at you, and when they see a piece of paper, they will give you your winnings in a small a box that, once in our world, will dissolve in three minutes. And only at night you can do this, exactly until four in the morning.

If a person does not sleep at four in the morning, then the magical hyena that came out of the book introduces into their brain that all living things have disappeared, that is, they have become inanimate, and their sock is still lying by the bed, and the books are on the shelves. In fact, they won’t be there. They will be an exact copy of the real ones while they are resting somewhere out there. And after the expiration of time, they return to the attached place through the teleporter. If at this time a person takes a sock and puts it on and goes to work, then a real sock will form right on the person’s leg, which he will not even see. The bind teleport is faster than light. Quantum teleport at the molecular level.

And there are still in the world, teleports by voice, and by sight, and by light. When you look at the light, your gaze is attached to this very particle of light, and flies away along the ground. In a few seconds you are already in Australia or Japan. That is, you now looked at the quark, just as if it were a ping-pong ball, but this ball develops a speed of three hundred thousand kilometers per second, and it is the look that fell on this ball that will be the machine that will take you to the other side of the earth, and perhaps even to another planet. It is your piece of DNA, through which you can rebuild into yourself on the other side of the universe. For example, while you are sleeping and your gaze is quarked across the universes, while you put on your spacesuit and then press the teleportation device, your ping-pong ball has already reached the constellation of Aquarius. Or maybe she flew to another galaxy, and flies near Alpha Centauri. The fastest travel in the universe, until this quark becomes a real device for instantaneous teleportation. That is, people will save information about this particle, and whenever they want to be transported somewhere, they can be transported to any point in the universe. In a word, at the moments in which she flew, for example, she flew by Jupiter at some specific time, which means that at this specific time there will be a teleport binding, at a point in time. Then it may be at Pluto or some distant quasar, and all these moments will be in the teleportation machine. certain parts of the moment. And while you’re talking, a piece of a quark (your ping-pong) reaches the fifth galaxy. And you may already be in the farthest part of the universe. Even when you fly towards it, you will follow the quark.

through the universes if you program the teleporter to be where the photon of light is now. At this present moment.

And yet, behind the screen of your monitor there is another universe, the same exactly as ours. But there are people who work as clones and reflections, and they are paid money for this. They get up every day for work and wait for your reflection to be displayed from something. For example, when you are in a room with a mirror, the worker, on the other hand, will sit behind the mirror in your position, and will sit there – this is his job. He has a locker, with the same shoes, clothes, hair, and people who help them do their hair. If you wear pajamas, they wear pajamas to work too. When you sit in a car and see yourself in the reflection of the shopping center, then the employee is also going somewhere with you. And the driver, also a clone of the one who drives a car in our world. His driver is his job. And in the moments when they are not working and you are sleeping, they do personal business and sit with the family. They may seem to have an exact copy of your life, and yes and no. That is, it is the same when you reflect from something, but the most real when there is nothing to reflect. They eat, rest, heal, take a bath and cry. They are just as alive as we all are. Sometimes, in their free time, they buy legs, arms, head frames from behind, so that they don’t have to be with you every time. That is, they take an exact replica of your leg in the store and tie it with an invisible graviton to exactly replicate your sleepy moments of twitching your leg and head. in their free time they buy legs, arms, head frames from the back so that they don’t have to be with you every time. That is, they take an exact replica of your leg in the store and tie it with an invisible graviton to exactly replicate your sleepy moments of twitching your leg and head. in their free time they buy legs, arms, head frames from the back so that they don’t have to be with you every time. That is, they take an exact replica of your leg in the store and tie it with an invisible graviton to exactly replicate your sleepy moments of twitching your leg and head.