Kitabı oku: «SYMBOL OF ETERNITY», sayfa 2

Chapter Five

I desperately needed a friend, sincere, strong advisers, who replaced his father- be. Being with a friend is always and everywhere together, to feel his protection and support, is not happiness? A wave of loneliness overwhelmed, suppressed emotional impulses to the beautiful vision of the world. Everything seemed bleak, inhospitable, and hostile. Especially painful it in the minutes does not understand children, kith and kin people, and I invented a true friend. So my friend was a penknife, which helped create the cut twigs from the real «sword» or «gun» that I fought with an evil nettle, feeling at that moment, strong and brave. Colored glass, blue – the blue, in which the world appeared in such blue colors, like in the movies, and the birds, and leaves in it, and the grass and the sky was all blue. And the sky in the afternoon seemed to be what it was at night. Only the sun is as bright as ever, and looks at it through a blue piece of glass as painful as without the glass. Another friend of mine was a rooster. He proudly strutted around the yard. His colorful tail developed in the wind, attracting the attention of hens. Cock cool knew how to fight. And although I am a little afraid of him, but he felt his cock friend, because he was never still and always bullied me. Sometimes, his wings spread, and sideways – sideways looms, shouting aggressively, like a turkey. I am a «saber» deters bully, but all in vain. With a wild cackle rooster jumps up to me on the head, hit on the head with its beak and forcing to flee. I hide behind a massive wooden door of the corridor. A cockerel with a view of the winner, paces, turning ceremoniously sides laying hens, they say, look how I’m a hero. Bitter moments of loneliness. Last year before school turned out to be particularly difficult. Opened old kindergarten for children of the collective farm «Bolshevik» workers winter Shpitkovsky kindergarten did not work. Grandma was going to take me.

– You lay down again? – She be called me. I had already managed to fall asleep, lying on the stove, dreaming about his friends. – Well ka comes down, and the nine soon – repeated relentlessly grandmother.

I reluctantly got off the stove. He took off his sister’s long sundress, which served me nightgown. I put on shorts, sleeveless jacket and ran barefoot into the courtyard. There is already waiting for me bully rooster. Bird, seeing his enemy, squinted eye, and was gone on the offensive, belligerent swaying from foot to foot, as if imitating a heavy goose. But creaked opened the corridor door and my grandmother appeared in the doorway. Rooster reluctantly stepped back, pretending to collect grain, and no case it is not up to the boys. Grandmother shook her by the stove, running late with his grandson. But, nevertheless, my grandmother took me by the hand, and we started off. I had no choice but to trudge behind a nagging grandmother. We went out into the street. Then the road reached the alley of century- old lime trees, the remains of stately park, violent flowering meet me and my grandmother. Suddenly Grandma stopped and scrutinized me:

– God, are you mining! To whom are you similar, and -? «She clasped her hands tightly gripped me by the shoulders and pulled her to him. I whirled his head, but my grandmother inexorably began to lick her cheeks grimy, dirty relish spitting saliva. «Washing up», so my face, she took me to the kindergarten. And, to me, I did not want to go there. I do not want to part with his friend’s knife, a piece of glass in blue, and cockerels; they were not allowed to take with them. I reluctantly trudged after him, deliberately lagged behind hustling grandmother. A friendly chestnuts tossed green leaves. Park sang hymns foliage friendly.

– Yes, go the faster! – It is customized for me. And I throw on a step, but as soon as the grandmother turned away, went forward a little, fell behind again and finally decided to still hide behind the trunk of a spreading chestnut.

– You see how harmful child? Ran away?! From brat! Well ka go out?! – the grandmother grumbling, so back, I passed, and I ran out of the trunk of the chestnut tree and mockingly told her in the back?!:

– Grandmother, and who are calling you out there?!

– Oh, wait, that’s to say the educator aunt Ole, she’ll nettle, nettle! From, know how off augh old people!

That kindergarten. The teacher plump, round- faced, met us at the gate.

– I do not accept. For a long time, all the children in the dining room.

– So you do not need to eat it. Let the game! – Retorted grandmother.

– We can not be so. – And, turning to me – and you’ll be punished for being late. Last time accept you. – And my grandmother – more so as not to be late! – Strictly ordered it. What grandmother she waved muttering:

– A- ah- ah! – We know you lazy loafers!

I trudged for teacher followed.

The dining room was warm and hot, plank tables have been removed.

– Sit down at the table! – Ordered the teacher.

I sat down and began swing your leg’s. Surprisingly, but next to me sat a skinny boy. It was Nick Jester. I considered him a friend. He also not had a father and he, too, as I was late today in a kindergarten. Our friendship began from last year, when we arrived home, the sister of my grandmother on my mother’s father measured with Albert, my father. Her name was Aunt Zina, and she lived in Moscow and worked as a stenographer in the office of the USSR government. Mother said that she shorthand various meetings of government meetings and even attended the visits of foreign delegations at the invitation of the Government. She brought a whole lot of chocolates with cherry liqueur, brandy, Well In general I was allowed to take as much as two pockets in my jacket. And Aunt Zina and her mother strictly ordered me not to call her grandmother, aunt Zina name only, though in fact it was my great aunt. Aunt Zina volunteered to take me to the kindergarten, but the mother is not allowed, as it turned out, my mother was afraid that I would take my father to Moscow and give the education Aunt Zina. That’s why I, with pockets stuffed with chocolates, my mother and Aunt Zina together brought me to kindergarten. Here then appeared Jester Kohl, who previously did not pay any attention to me, since he was a year older, and he had his circle of friends of same age. He timidly approached me and asked:

– Valik, and give me candy.

– He came close to us and did not leave until Aunt Zina has not slipped into his hand a piece of candy in a red wrapper. He took the meal and turning to me said:

– Give me more for the guys. And I say that they will not fight you. And if someone will fight you, then you tell me. – He stood there and did not go away, and crushes a candy wrapper in his hand. Aunt Zina said to me: – Valik, do not let anyone these sweets. They are alcohol and these children should not be given sweets.

I felt its importance and significance in these moments, and turned to Aunt Zina:

– Can one give? On the one as there will be nothing wrong with that.

The mother looked at me and said:

– Well, give him one. And let yourself go entertains comrades.

I gave him two candies, and Kohl happily ran to his friends by popping in your mouth all at once. There’s still two boys began to look in my direction. It was not hard to guess what they have learned from Kolya. After a brief meeting, Nick came back, and so is repeated until then, until a box from under sweets was not empty. Then Kohl forgot about my existence…

– Oh, it’s you, Nick. Sit next to the Valik. – Gently, almost tenderly approached him teacher Aunt Olga, rippling weighty body, went to the dispensing window.

The dining room was built in the form of a canopy. The difference in treatment educators to me and Cole was noticeable. Kohl arrived in kindergarten is too late, even for a longer time than I arrived. But he was treated especially carefully stressed, when I was there. Of course, I did not understand this treatment, somewhere subconsciously feeling like an outcast.

Before us was a bowl of soup with fresh peas and chunks of meat.

Kohl looked at my plate and said:

– Give me a piece of fat, I will give you this piece of «meat».

Plate Kohl was a large where piece of cooked bacon.

– It’s not meat! – I said.

– Meat! Meat! It is so white and there is no fat there.

Before I could answer, Nick threw a white, quivering like jelly piece of cooked bacon on my plate, and my plate of delicious ribs with scooped meat.

A lump of disappointment went up to my throat, and stopped there on.

– Take, eat, this is the meat. – Nikola tried to persuade me. I believed him and took a piece of cooked fat ingestion.

– Only you swallow it immediately. It’s meat! – Looking wide- eyed at me, Kohl continued.

I made an effort, and swallowed a piece of clean boiled pork fat layer. Again insulting heart was torn by deception Kohli, who is considered a friend. I could barely hold back the tears and nausea creeping ever closer to the throat. Dinner is not wanted. Some fat is stuck in the throat sickening obstacle. But this fragrant fresh peas, green dill and homemade bread. My favorite soup now seemed tasteless. And then there’s the cook began to shout at me:

– You do not eat what?! Take a spoon in his hand and eat!

Taking advantage of a moment when she turned, Nick grabbed my bowl of soup and threw under the table, then quickly put the rinsed before me. Cook walked around the long table, and again approached us:

– Well, from the fellow. Additives give?

– No, I do not want to. – I mumbled.

– On, Here, drink compote. – She put in front of me a glass faceted pear compote, smelling smoke. I drained the glass in a moment, seemed so good drink after a portion of boiled, fat disgusting. Seemed to give me a bucket of fruit compote, in that memorable moment, half a bucket would surely drink. But the portions were strictly limited.

Nausea rises. Pounding in his temples. Red butterflies fluttered before his eyes, breathing almost stopped.

With a sense of disgust, I looked around and saw the front of the laughing face Koli. The boy rejoiced. Taunts failed, feeling the winner shone in his smug grin.

At that moment I wanted to run home to your friends – redhead cockerel and a dog named Marsik, to the beloved cow dawn, and always nagging Grandmother Eugenia Lavrentevna.

I got up from the table. Nausea intensified, heart beat pounding in his temples throbbed. Reeling, I’m like a drunk, he stumbled to the sink. There i vomited. Hideous pieces of bacon with the gastric juice released stomach. Stomach contents spilled in the trough basin, making it easier overall. Nick, pleased with himself, ran to the courtyard, where there was a fun game. I washed and rubbed his face with a towel, my health has improved significantly, dizziness passed, and I ran toward the merry voices of children. In the courtyard I met hubbub of children’s voices. The game was in full swing. Who sculpted headstock in the sandbox that fought for molds and soviet sand? Who is going to a bed, where, incidentally, it was forbidden to do so, the flowers, until Aunt Olga accompanied my grandmother. But as soon as she turned toward the children, all the children innocently played. Pranks instantly forgotten. The storm – a teacher punishing luxury nettle stem, was a respected person and scary for the child’s perception. I joined a small group of boys at wooden swing that looks something like a giant paperweight painted with blue paint; some had time where peel off. For my kids did not pay any attention. Two of them sat in the seat on the left and three on the right and having fun swinging. From the unequal weight swing skewed and almost rocked.

– Hey! Let me show you Kiev – suddenly I suggested.

– What?! – Almost in unison they shouted the boys.

– Very simple. Let me get out on a seat, and you sit down in front of me and I will rise right up to the very clouds.

– Hurrah! – Cried the children together.

I climbed on the seat one, all five of them, climbed on the contrary, and I was raised high above the courtyard of the kindergarten, over the flower beds of children.

– Well, you see Kiev? – asked the blond boy with blue eyes wide open.

– It is seen! – I answered authoritatively.

– Show us Kiev! – All together rushed towards me and «paperweight» and threw me down, rolling over in my direction.

– Well, what have you done?! I no longer see anything.

But the game flowed in a new way. About Kiev forgotten, beginning to play «Kwacha» (catch- up, who gets caught up, and the Kwacha).

For fun games I forgot about punishment, but it was waiting for me, threatening unexpected places for disobedience grandmother.

Suddenly, there was a teacher Aunt Olya:

– Children’s game over! – Now we’ll go to hold on to the handle and all together.

After breakfast, the teacher Aunt Olya, full and unwieldy from its fullness, the conclusions of children in the oak grove on a soft, velvety grass. She spread a blanket under a thick gnarled trunk of an old oak tree, put on him his fat body and set about their everyday activity, blouses knitting or darning stockings.

– Valik! – She called a poisonous tone of voice. – You are now punished and do not go for a walk. Sit here and do not depart.

What could be worse for the most terrible punishment for restless boys sit near the kindergarten teacher, when there is a fun game right there next to the eyes. Lose game that breaks all my heart my nature and severity of the ban does not allow to give pleasure, then the game becomes a hundred times more attractive than it really is. This is the world of adults. What could be more boring than this world? Are adults do not understand the hearts of young people, as restrictions in this my age to bring deception and cunning in small. So sitting next to Aunt Olya, I mused philosophically. And the sad thoughts plunged me into the maze of considerations that adults can only resolution to encourage the child to the game, and the ban only toughens the soul, is pushing for a crime.

– Valik! – Called on the boy, skinny and frail peers. His wide- open blue- gray eyes and looked innocently. A friendly smile and good luster, and snub nose, facial expression did everything endlessly naive. He began to gesture to invite me to play with him. A teacher at the time, snoring, already nodding, somehow manages to sleep sitting up, not leaning back against the tree trunk. I carefully stood on tiptoe ran for oak.

– Well, what are you, Pavlik?

– Come on, let’s play in Kwacha.

– And if someone says?

– Do not spill the beans. – Guaranteed Pavlik. In order to convince me for a long time it was not necessary. I ran towards the enjoyment of the game for boys and girls. On the way, did not hear the voice of the teacher. When Pavlik stopped me before I regained consciousness:

– Here I am to you! You punished?! Go here?!

And I, his head down, walked to the side which calls upon Aunt Olya. Next to the teacher smiled slyly Lenya Ochkolyas. His right hand held the teacher already behind, a good sign for me. I approached cautiously, watching this hand hidden behind his back. It can be seen, there is something extremely unpleasant and frightening pleasant sight awaits Lenya Ochkolyasa. It is not difficult to guess who passed me and helpfully brought educator stem nettle. When I approached within arm’s length educators, it is something, as I suspected, it was stinging nettles, which rustled in the air, dropping to the ankles under the sweet wild laughter Leni Ochkolyasa. Resentment and grief Tears on my face, I began to cry softly, rubbing swollen red bumps on my legs.

– Well, that was! – Taunted, grinning happily Ochkolyas. This boy grew up in a large family. He was my same age, and was the most fragile small and sickly kid from all the boys in kindergarten. Thin legs and a big belly, made him a comical figure, obscuring even the puppet facial features, but always malicious smile and a penchant snitch all the tricks of boys made it a sneak. I felt hurt not so much on the teacher, and rather to sneak Ochkolyasa Lenya, who not only spoke about AWOL, but what I was sure even brought punishment instrument nettles. And now, smiling, happy torment his victim. I would like at this moment of humiliation to run away from everyone, hide, no matter where, whether in the distant dark corner to hide and be alone. I vividly remembered the house. Cockerel rooster, which I received blows and not take offense, because the cock was never a close friend. He was a friend, an enemy, and nothing more. And Lenya Ochkolyas could be so, and others. It sowed distrust Lena as a friend and did not cause any feelings of anger and desire to win, as the enemy. The only feeling that is evoked Lenya in my mind, it was a feeling of pity, even born when my mother told me how was busy before the kolkhoz administration, to a large family Ochkolyasov, who had five children, build a house. As the working collective farm family of the deceased from the bandits, announced after the amnesty. She told me the terrible conditions in which live Ochkolyasy. In the tiny hut, thatched, with a dirt floor, hastily cobbled together, after burning down of a good home. Mom told about the difficulties of a young woman, a mother, Leni, remaining one with the children.

Congenital envy of the wealthy, as he thought, children, engendered hatred and anger in poverty wounded soul.

By lunchtime burning feet subsided and almost do not care. The mood gradually came back to me, and has a carefree laugh; I paced in the ranks of children, exposing tripping who was walking in front of Cole Ponomarenko, thick and clumsy little boy…

The next day I went to kindergarten without a grandmother. Granny flatly refused to drive me into the garden. A mother’s remark, she answered:

– He knows the way and can it have to go there. Not small, it soon turns six years, let grows up! – The mother replied to a comment grandmother.

– It is also weak. A wanders somewhere?!

– Do not get lost, no great loss! And drown in the toilet, and would not have suffered! – Mother silently swallowed the insult and has already asked me if I knew the way. I said, which way to go to kindergarten. Mother agreed to the affirmative. And the first time I went out one morning. The road was a park. Ahead in the bushes I saw Ochkolyasa Llonyu, who furtively looking around, there is something looking for. I have not seen it, and I’m glad I’m not alone in the kindergarten named after him:

– Hey, Lenka, you wrote that there is, or what?! Let’s go into the garden! – Lenya, threw scared look in my direction.

– Go yourself where you are going. – The answer is not friendly Ochkolyas.

I walked closer to him. And just now I saw that he was looking for a suitable stem nettle for educators to this instrument of punishment she frighten children, and Lenya, as always, will be deserved to enjoy great trust and favor. I have waited for him, for fear of being late, left alone. When I went to the playground and looked at the children swarmed in the sandbox, from the corner of the sleeping body seemed to Aunt Olya. The called me to her and said:

– Valik, tell me, probably something in the forest has died, that you are with her grandmother in the garden not late today? – Educators in a good mood, and she spoke these words with a good- natured smile, showing straight and white teeth. I looked puzzled watched her mouth, responding:

– It’s in the garden something has died, so smells from the kitchen that much can not breathe. – I said these words without thinking, stink or not, but my remark getting through his boundless derogatory form of address in relation to my grandmother, who was a friend to me. At the moment, Aunt Oli smile, as if someone wiped out. She blushed, did not say anything. She turned and went for the nervous walking dormitory kindergarten towards the dining room. Soon, from the dining room were heard hysterical screams of educators:

– Are you here spread, eh?! I, Claudia, you ask?! – A voice of Aunt Olya my answer broke the scandal. That justify telling that poisoned rats, and that some might die under floor and it stinks in there. Soon the playground came Lenya Ochkolyas. In his hand he held as a rod, a temple nettle stalk height in its growth, with a thick and sturdy stems and serrated leaves. His face shone solemn smile made request educators and his Kresna mother, Aunt Olya. And in the dining room at this time cook, Aunt Claudia, after the morning catching up, nervously tapping utensils, distributed food to children for breakfast…