Kitabı oku: «Philochristus», sayfa 16

CHAPTER XXI

From that day forth we noted but seldom in our Master’s countenance that look of expectancy which had sometimes perplexed us before. For now, and for many days after, he spake and acted like one that seeth things to come as clear as things past. On the morrow after the blessing of Simon Peter, he called us together, and told us that we must go up to Jerusalem at the next Passover. If we were joyful before, much more did we rejoice now; and Judas smote his hands together for very gladness, esteeming Jerusalem already captured. For he supposed that Jesus could not march up to Jerusalem so as not to raise up the Romans against him, “and when they come against us in battle,” he said, “then Jesus will perforce put forth his power against them, and will utterly destroy them.”

These words said Judas (but not so loud that Jesus could hear them) during the first stir that followed the saying of Jesus about going up to Jerusalem. But Jesus opened his mouth to speak again, and behold, he prophesied things that passed all understanding; namely, that he should be rejected by the rulers of the people, and delivered over to them, and put to death with insult. But then he added that although this must needs come to pass, yet in a few days afterwards, yea no more than one or two, it should be with him as with Jonah, whose prayer was heard even from the belly of hell, and according to the words of the prophet Hosea, who wrote this saying, “Come and let us return unto the Lord, for he hath torn and he will heal us: he hath smitten and he will bind us up. After two days will he restore us to life; in the third day he will raise us up, and we shall live in his sight.”

We stood silent around him, all agape with wonder, and scarce believing our ears. But he spake quietly and cheerfully, like unto one describing what had already been accomplished, or as if he perceived that the thing was as much according to nature as that a stone should fall downwards or a spark fly upwards. For not long afterwards he spake as if this were an ordinance of God, that “Whoso saveth his life shall lose it; but whoso loseth it shall save it:” desiring, as I suppose, to teach us that in death, no less than in life, there prevailed that great Law of God which was ever in his mouth, “Give, and it shall be given unto you:” meaning that whoso gave up his life unto the Father should receive it again abundantly, both now and ever. Notwithstanding, at this time our ears were deaf and our hearts were hardened against all such words as these, and we feared to ask him concerning them. Only Peter, mindful how Jesus had of late blessed him, and therefore venturing somewhat more than the rest, would fain expostulate. So after he had besought Jesus not to vex the hearts of us his loving followers by prophesying evil things, he spake concerning the death of Jesus, saying, “Be it far from thee, O Master; this shall not happen to thee.” Then Jesus looked wrathfully upon Simon Peter, even as he had looked before upon Jonathan the son of Ezra, and he rebuked Peter as if he had been the Adversary himself tempting him; and he said, “Get thee behind me, Satan; thou art a stumblingblock unto me; for thou savourest not the things that be of God, but those that be of men.” Yet was there no hate in his countenance, though he used the name of Satan; but there was grief, and trouble, and many signs of inward perturbation; as if Peter had assailed him where he was weakest, appealing to him in the name of the disciples whom he must needs forsake. Yea, the tears seemed nigh at hand even in the moment of the bitterest rebuking.

After this, Jesus began to speak to us of the journey to Jerusalem, how full of peril, and how desperate it was like to be. For he said that whosoever followed him must be prepared to risk all for his sake. Yea, even as men condemned to die might go forth to their doom with the ropes round their necks or the crosses on their shoulders, even so must we go up to Jerusalem, all prepared for death, if we were fain to go with him. And this he said many times, saying that none might follow him except they would take up the cross; and during all the time of our going up to Jerusalem, the cross was, as it were, the only watch-word that he would appoint for them that went with him: insomuch that some, mocking, called it a journey of the cross, or a journey of the halter. But he added that, if we had courage to go with him, a reward was in store for us: “Whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it. For what is a man profited if he shall gain the whole world and lose his own soul? Or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul? For the Son of man shall come in the glory of his Father with his angels; and then shall he reward every man according to his works.”

Now at these last words Judas turned away in anger, saying in a low voice, “He speaketh only of what is after the grave.” But Jesus straightway added, “Verily I say unto you, there be some standing here which shall not taste of death till they see the Son of man coming in his Kingdom.” At these words we all rejoiced again, and Judas with the rest, for, said he, “These words are no dark saying, but such as babes can understand.” So we went out from the presence of Jesus marvelling indeed, but rejoicing even more than we marvelled.

Now when we were come forth, and were alone apart from Jesus, we disputed among ourselves what his words might mean. But Judas said (after his wont) that whatsoever was obscure should be interpreted by that part which was clearer. Now Jesus had declared that he would come and reward his followers and take unto himself his Kingdom even in the lifetime of some that were standing by. But as for the rest, concerning the losing of life and finding of it, and as for what Jesus had said concerning his own dying and rising again, it was clear, said Judas, that the words were used poetically and in a figure, as if one should speak of sinking into the pit of the darkness of ruin and then of being raised up therefrom, as it had been described also by Jonah, and as Hosea the prophet had spoken.

But then Thomas said, “Yet methinks, since all men must die, therefore also the Redeemer of Israel must perforce come to the grave at some time; and then what shall befall the disciples that shall remain in the flesh?” To this some one made reply that Jesus would assuredly not depart from life till he had established the kingdom and trampled all our enemies under his feet. Another said that, if Jesus indeed died as a captive according to his own words, then his death would be like unto that of Samson, who destroyed many thousands of the Gentiles in his own destruction. But still Thomas persevered that, whensoever the time came that Jesus should depart from the flesh, then all the brightness of joy would depart from the disciples for ever.

Then John answered and said that Thomas had well spoken, only that the Lord would provide against so great an evil; and he added, “Let us not suppose that the gates of death can separate us from the love of the Lord, neither let our imagination assure us that the grave is a strong place against the hand of the Almighty. For by the Word of God we were framed; and by the Word of God we were born; and by the Word of God we live; and by the Word of God we die; and by the Word of God we are to give account before the King of kings. Wherefore if even we are in the hand of the Lord though we lie in the grave, how much more is the Redeemer of Israel, who is in the bosom of the Father? Wherefore my counsel is that we trust in the Lord, and that we rejoice because we see our Master rejoicing.”

To this we all agreed. Howbeit, when we tried to understand the meaning of the words of Jesus, the judgment of Judas seemed good to the most part of us. And so it was that when we rejoiced, we rejoiced with John; but when we reasoned we reasoned with Judas. But of this we were all with one consent persuaded, that it could not be that the Lord would permit such an one as Jesus of Nazareth to die a common death; but either he would not die at all, or if he were taken from us, it must be after the manner of Elias, exalted to heaven in a chariot of fire.

But Jesus desired to offer up prayers to the Lord upon Mount Hermon before he set his face to go southward to Jerusalem. For he had long been journeying towards it, and it seemed to be unto him as a goal and limit of his wanderings. Moreover at all times Jesus loved to be alone on the tops of mountains, not as though he counted high places to be more holy than others, but because all visible things testified to him of the Father, and when he looked forth upon the world at sunrise from the summit of a mountain, then the Angels of God which rule over the light and the sky and the earth and the air, seemed to speak unto him with a louder and a fuller voice. Moreover though he spake not of the moon and stars in parables (but only of the flowers of the field and the seed and the smaller things of earth), yet did he oft consider the heavens and the lights therein which are the works of the fingers of God; and for this cause he would sometimes spend a whole night upon a mountain-top alone, meditating on the works of God. So it came to pass that on the morrow after these things we went with Jesus even to the foot of Mount Hermon. There we tarried during the night in a village just below the mountain; but Jesus left us and went up the mountain alone, save that he took with him Simon Peter, and John, and James the brother of John.

Now as for what happened on the mountain, I myself was not present; but the three disciples told us afterwards things that made us to marvel. At first indeed they saw nothing more than common, nor indeed took heed of aught which they saw; for they were wearied with the labour of the long journey, going for many hours up hill, and besides they were faint with hunger; insomuch that, when they were come to that part of the mountain where the snow lieth continually, they were borne down with sleep. Hereat Jesus bade them stay where they were, and pray; but he himself went forward higher up the mountain, as it were a distance of three bowshot; yet not so far but they could hear his voice; for the air was exceeding still, and all sounds came with a marvellous clearness to their ears even from very far off. Now it came to pass that when the three disciples were alone, they strove to pray, sometimes standing up, but at other times kneeling or lying flat upon their faces. Howbeit their eyes were still weighed down and heavy with sleep; but even as they began to slumber, behold, the voice of Jesus, like unto the voice of an angel, fell upon their ears magnifying and praising God. So the night passed, while they lay there betwixt sleeping and waking; sometimes hearing the voice of Jesus and praying with him; anon falling into slumber and dreaming strange dreams and seeing visions; and (betwixt dreaming and waking) scarce able to know what they saw, nor what they heard, nor even whether they slept or waked. But at the last the Lord sent upon them a deep sleep; and how long they slept they knew not, but suddenly with one consent awaking, they perceived that they were on holy ground, and that the presence of the Lord was around them, and the voice of the Lord sounding in their ears. Yet for the instant they knew not what work the Lord had in hand; only they felt that He was very nigh.

But when they came to themselves, they heard the voice of Jesus speaking words as if conversing with men present and face to face. Then for a brief space the disciples lay even where they had been sleeping, still and astonied, supposing that it was a dream and that the voice should have speedily ceased. But it ceased not, but continued. And they heard Jesus plainly speaking both to Moses and to Elias concerning that which was to come to pass in Jerusalem; which, he said, would not be an error, nor a misadventure, but the very fulfilment of the Law and the Prophets, and the fore-ordained will of the Father. (Also Quartus saith (but this I heard not myself from any of the three) that Jesus testified unto Moses, saying that he came not to destroy sacrifice but to fulfil sacrifice.)

But when the disciples perceived that it was no dream, they with one consent started up; and behold, the sun was just risen, and Hermon was all a-fire with the glory of the Lord, and the ice and the snow all around shone like unto burning gold and silver and sapphire, only far brighter, even as the brightness of the Throne of the Majesty on High. But Jesus stood on a rock above them; and when they looked on him, behold, his garments were exceeding white, whiter than snow, and his face was transfigured as the face of an archangel, and his shape was all glorious to behold, shining with a wondrous light; and his eyes were set like unto one looking on the forms of departing friends. For Moses and Elias were now passed away and were no more to be seen.

But Simon Peter, being nigh distraught at the glory of the sight, and scarce knowing whether he were asleep or awake, cried out to Jesus in a loud voice that they would remain on that mountain-top for ever; and he said, “Master, it is good for us to be here; and let us make three tabernacles, one for thee, and one for Moses, and one for Elias.” But Jesus took no heed of his words, but kept still gazing upon Moses and Elias. And while they still looked, the Lord sent down on them a cloud, and compassed them round with darkness; and they feared exceedingly when they entered into the cloud; and there came a voice as of thunder out of the cloud, saying that Jesus was the son of God. Then fell the disciples on their faces, and offered up prayers unto the Lord. But presently, when they arose, the cloud had passed away, and Jesus alone was standing by their side.

When Jesus came down from the mountain, all we that were waiting for him in the village below perceived that he had had a vision; for there was still an unwonted brightness on his countenance. Likewise also the people which were with us (for there was a great multitude) marvelled at the brightness of his countenance; and running to Jesus, they saluted him as a prophet. Some also began to beseech him to heal a certain boy which was possessed with an evil spirit. For so it was that, while Jesus was upon the mountain, certain of the Pharisees that dwelt in that village (for there was a synagogue there, and many Jews dwelt round about that country) came to us bringing one possessed with an unclean spirit and bidding us cast him out. So we adventured to drive him out. But we could not do it. Therefore the Pharisees strove against us and declared that we were vagabonds and deceivers, and that our Master was like unto us; and of the multitude part sided with us and part with the Pharisees, insomuch that there was a great uproar and noise of contention. All these things had come to pass while Jesus was coming down from the mountain; but when we saw Jesus near at hand, straightway on both sides we all ceased from our contention.

Now when Jesus understood the cause of the contention, and that the Pharisees were striving against us because we had not been able to drive out the unclean spirit, he looked around both upon us and our adversaries: and behold, we were all heated with disputing, and angered by reproachings, and there was no faith in us. Therefore he was sorely grieved, and he sighed bitterly, and said, “O faithless and perverse generation, how long shall I be with you, how long shall I suffer you?” Then he turned to the father of the child (for the man was standing nigh, piteously bewailing his child) and he said, “Bring thy son hither to me.” So they brought him.

But Jesus, looking upon the boy and upon the father and upon the Pharisees, and upon all them which were standing nigh, perceived straightway that there was no faith as yet that the boy should be cured. Therefore he asked the father certain questions touching the boy, and the man replied that the boy had been possessed even from a child; “and oftentimes,” continued he, weeping as he spake, “it hath cast him into the fire, and into the waters to destroy him; but if thou canst do anything, have compassion on us and help us.” When Jesus perceived that the man had not yet faith (but only desire bordering upon faith), he said unto him, repeating the man’s words, “If thou canst; if thou canst. Nay, but believe. All things are possible to him that believeth.” And straightway the man cried out for anguish of soul, and said with tears, “Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief.” Then the face of Jesus was glad, and immediately he rebuked the unclean spirit; and it came forth tearing the boy and leaving him as one dead, insomuch that many said “he is dead.” But Jesus took him by the hand and lifted him up, and he arose.

Hereupon the multitude departed, praising God for His goodness; but when we were come to the house, we asked him why we had not been able to cast out the unclean spirit. Jesus answered that it was because of our want of faith; and he repeated the words which he had before spoken, that whosoever had but faith, even as a grain of mustard-seed, should be able to uproot mountains. But such spirits as these, he said, could not be driven out save by much prayer. He did not further rebuke us for our ill success: but our want of faith seemed to engender in him a certain disquietude for our sakes, perchance because he perceived that we were as yet too weak to stand by ourselves; and this, though the hour was nigh when his hand could no longer hold us upright. Howbeit he said no more at that season, but only gave command that we should straightway set out for Capernaum.

CHAPTER XXII

As we passed through the country to Capernaum, we began to tell the people everywhere that Jesus had now determined to go up to Jerusalem at the head of his followers, and that the time of Redemption was at hand. But Jesus forbade us; for he would not that any man should know that he was passing through. Howbeit, even though we were silent, the rumour of his journey was everywhere noised abroad, so that he could not be hid. Many therefore left their ploughs, and their fishing-boats, and their trades, and followed with us: or, if they followed not, they appointed to be with us at the next Passover when we went up to the Holy City. For it was already the month called Adar, so that it wanted no more than four or five weeks to the Passover.

Now certain youths and striplings followed us, not deliberately, nor with forethought, but because they were ever unstable and ever seeking after new things. Them therefore Jesus warned to go back to their homes, telling them that they had not counted the cost of the journey. Others were fain to have come with us; but their friends sought by all means to prevent them, telling them what cruelties the Romans had wrought upon their fathers and kinsfolk in former times; how some had been sold for slaves, some slain with the sword, some crucified; and with many tears sisters besought their brothers, and mothers their children, not to go up to Jerusalem, nor to bring them down with sorrow to the grave. Now Jesus did not call upon such as these to come to him; but if they were minded to come, he bade them remember that they must above all things trust in him and love him; yea, he said that they must love him better than houses, or lands, or kinsfolk.

Hence also it came to pass that in a certain village he spake words which have been a stumblingblock to many. For so it was that a certain young man of that village had come forth to meet Jesus; and after he had saluted him, the young man had promised to follow in his army, and to serve him even to the death. Howbeit he besought Jesus that he would suffer him first to go and bid farewell to his father and mother. Now Jesus looked on him, and perceived that he was as a reed that bendeth with the wind. So he said unto him that he must not go: “For,” said he, “he that putteth his hand to the plough and looketh back, is not fit for the Kingdom of God.” Thereupon the face of the young man fell and he became very sad; yet he obeyed Jesus, for that day, and followed him; but on the morrow he secretly departed for to bid his parents farewell, meaning shortly to return to Jesus. So when Jesus passed through the village wherein the young man abode, behold, the young man was even then coming forth from the door of his home. But his mother ran behind him, and caught him by the cloak, and embracing him besought him again and again not to go with Jesus. Thus she constrained him. But Jesus, looking back on the youth, said, “Verily he that hateth not his father and his mother cannot be my disciple.”

Already, even at the beginning of our march, when we first departed from Hermon, there had arisen a questioning among us, who should have the chief places in the New Kingdom. For now, within one month, we looked to see the Romans cast out of Jerusalem, the Holy City and Temple purified, and the throne of the Redeemer established. This done, it seemed to us that Syria would be portioned out to several princes or governors; Galilee to one, Samaria to another, Peræa to a third; after the manner of the Romans, whose custom it is to divide their dominions among many princes. So we disputed among ourselves who should have the best provinces. Judas, as being ever foremost in all actions, claimed a principal share; but the others also were not backward. Thus we disputed as we walked behind Jesus, being now nigh to Capernaum; and so it was that, in the heat of our disputing, we knew not that Jesus was standing still, waiting till we should overtake him. Therefore we walked on, still disputing, with clamour and much anger, till, lo, Jesus was in the midst of us. He looked sorrowfully on us, but said nothing for that time, and we were all straightway silent.

But in the evening, when we were all together in the house, Jesus called us to him, holding a little child by the hand; and when we were gathered round him, he set the little one in the midst of us, and said that we had forgotten his former saying, how that no man could enter the Kingdom unless he became as a little child. Then he added these words, “Whosoever shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven.” Then said Judas, “Whoso hath wrought much, shall he not receive much? and whoso hath wrought little, shall he not receive little? And is not the Master of the work faithful, who will pay us the wage of our work?”

For an instant Jesus was silent, looking at Judas as though perchance he had not heard his words aright. Then he answered that in the New Kingdom there was no difference of reward; for the least were to be as the greatest. At the same time he placed his hand on the head of the little one and said, “Whoso shall receive one such little child in my name receiveth me, and whosoever shall receive me receiveth not me, but Him that sent me.” He also spake a certain parable to us, as if to shew that the reward in the kingdom is not by way of price but rather by way of a free gift, coming from the Father, as cometh the rain from heaven, and sufficing for all them which receive it; even as the lord of an estate, out of the kindness of his heart, might give unto all his labourers the same wage (and that sufficing for their needs), even though some of the labourers might perchance be hired later than the rest.

Judas had withdrawn himself before Jesus began this parable. For he was greatly abashed, though Jesus had not rebuked him by name. But Jesus seemed saddened by our disputing, and by our hardness of heart in that we understood him not. Notwithstanding he was still cheerful and gentle according to his wont. For albeit he saw close before his feet the darkness of the valley of death, yet, above and beyond the valley of death was the hill of life, which (at that time) he seemed to see and to describe, even as if he had traversed and measured it out with a measuring reed. Notwithstanding for our sakes he seemed sometimes to be in meditation and sorrow, as though, when he had reached Paradise, he should look back upon us left behind and alone.

When we went forth from before the face of Jesus, we found Judas chafing much at his repulse (for so he termed it), and asking how it was possible that in any kingdom there should be no degrees of rank or honour? For some, he said, must needs be near the throne, others far off; and some courtiers; but others tillers of the land and artificers. To us there seemed much reason in the sayings of Judas, though we liked not that he should pay so little deference to our Master. John also himself confessed that he understood not how it should be otherwise than Judas had said. “Notwithstanding,” said he, “if Jesus should see fit not to give us power and wealth in the New Kingdom, we must none the less be content, and not lust after the table of kings; for our table is greater than their table, and our crown greater than their crown, and faithful is our taskmaster who will pay us the wage of our work.”

The words of John did not please the most of the disciples; who said that it would not be fit that Jesus should give power and wealth to other servants and courtiers, and should neglect them that had borne the burden of the first persecutions, who were now to bear the brunt of the conflict at Jerusalem. So they went away still disputing among themselves. Then, when we were alone, I asked Nathanael whether he thought that Jesus had any certain plans how to take Jerusalem or how to drive out the Romans. But Nathanael answered that it seemed to him that Jesus had no such certain plans. Then said I, “Wherefore then goeth he up to Jerusalem?” “Because,” replied Nathanael, “thus much hath been revealed to him that he must needs go up to Jerusalem, there to be glorified and lifted up. But as to the manner and time thereof, he saith nothing. Yea, and I have heard him speak as if he himself knew not these things, but they are known to the Father alone.”

At this time Jesus began to speak more often than before of a certain day of wrath in store for Israel; and, as David on Araunah’s threshing-floor saw the sword between heaven and earth, even so did Jesus discern a sword of the Lord; howbeit not stayed, as David saw it, but uplifted and in act to strike. Sometimes he spake as if he himself were to wield this flaming sword; but evermore, beyond the fire and the sword, he discerned the glory of the Kingdom of God; and he spake as if the Kingdom could not come except the fire should first be kindled, and he must needs kindle it himself. Therefore once, when Jonathan the son of Ezra said to him that he was accused of his enemies the Pharisees as if he would fain set all Israel on fire, he replied, “The nearer to me the nearer to the fire; but the further from me, the further from the Kingdom.”¹⁰

Seeing this flaming sword ever before him, Jesus none the less continued to speak of his death. This perplexed us not a little. For at one time he would say that his enemies would be slain with the sword; or destroyed as tares are destroyed with fire; and yet, on the other hand, he repeated again and again that he should die at the hands of his enemies in Jerusalem. Howbeit of the evil prophecy we his disciples took small heed, but gave our minds to the prophecies of good things. For he spake much of being “perfected,” and of being “glorified,” and how he should be “lifted up” or “raised up” in Jerusalem. Moreover, Jesus was wont to use the word “dead” of them that were in the deep waters of sin; as when he said that “The dead should bury their own dead;” and again, when he said that “The son of man hath power to quicken the dead.” Oftentimes also he spake in the same way of raising up the dead, as when he told the disciples of John the son of Zachariah that “the dead are raised up.” Hence it came to pass that, if we heeded at all his words touching his death, we were assured that he meant to say only this, that he should be for some days struggling with Satan, and not at once overcoming, but as it were in darkness and in the shadow and depth of death; but that in two or three days he should be raised up and triumph over Satan.

In this belief we were much confirmed by our Master’s constancy and stoutness of heart. For on the second day after we had returned to Capernaum, Eliezer the son of Arak, with others of the Pharisees, came to Jesus where he was seated in the midst of his disciples, and making as if they were reconciled to Jesus, they bade him flee from Galilee lest Herod should slay him. But this they did, not out of love to Jesus, but hoping to rid the city of him, and partly desiring to discredit him with the disciples, as if Jesus once more would go into exile for to avoid strife. But Jesus made an exceeding bold answer, and said that the Pharisees were to tell that fox (for so he called Herod) that he would go on his way to Jerusalem not through fear of him, nor in haste, like unto a fugitive, but healing and teaching as he went, both to-day and to-morrow; and on the third day (for the journey was a journey of three days for a strong man, according to the common saying) he said that he should be perfected, even in Jerusalem. Moreover, when Eliezer, nothing abashed, dissembled still further, and bade Jesus take heed lest he should perish even as the Galileans, whom Pilate had slain, Jesus answered that to be slain did not argue that the men slain were sinners above the rest; and then he added that another sword (which they saw not) was near at hand to smite them also themselves, if they repented not.

This gladdened our hearts and made us eager for the journey: and when on the morrow we went up from Capernaum, journeying towards Samaria, there was not one in our band that was fainthearted nor desirous to return. Now at that time there were about three hundred following Jesus. But the greater part of our friends, as we understood, were not to go with us, but to meet us at the going in to Jerusalem, or at some place nigh unto Jerusalem.