Kitabı oku: «The By Request Collection», sayfa 11

Sixteen

Eve woke to blackness. There wasn’t a single light on in the room. Where was she? She blinked a few times, sat up and quickly remembered. She’d fallen asleep on the couch in Graham’s cabin.

The slightest glow from the porch lights filtered in through the windows. Eve sat up, turning her stiff neck from side to side. She didn’t even recall lying down. She’d started reading a magazine, had gotten swept up by some article on how to make your own baby food, and that was the last thing she remembered.

Turning, Eve went still when she spotted Graham asleep in the chair across from her. His feet were propped on the oversize ottoman, his head tipped to one side. She wished there was more light so she could make out his facial features. Was he fully relaxed? When he’d fallen asleep in her bed, he always had those worry lines between his brows. Now that he was away, did he allow himself to completely let go?

Eve pulled at the throw caught around her legs. She hadn’t put that there. An image of Graham covering her had a warmth spreading through her. The little ways he showed he cared couldn’t be ignored. The way he cooked for her, opened up about his mother and Gerty, swept her away when life became too much...he was putting her needs first and she couldn’t deny the tug on her heart.

Part of Eve wished they could just stay here forever. Ignore their families, ignore the entire mess with Sutton, Carson and the investigator Brooks had hired. Ignore the reality that her father was dying, that her sister was marrying the love of her life and everything was perfect for her. The entire family was thrilled for Nora, and Eve was, too. But there was still that fear that once everyone knew of Eve’s pregnancy, she’d never be shown support. That she wouldn’t experience such happiness. Her family wouldn’t accept the fact that Graham was the father, and worse yet, that Eve had fallen for him.

Eve got to her feet, shaking out the throw. Moving around the ottoman, she started to lay the blanket over Graham. Instantly he gripped her wrist and pulled her down into his lap.

With a yelp, she fell right into the crook of his arm, her head to his shoulder.

“I thought you were asleep.”

Graham adjusted her legs to settle them between his. “You thought wrong.”

That low rumble vibrated from his chest. His fingertips trailed up her bare forearm. “How do you feel now?”

“Like I slept for days.”

“Good. I want you to feel rejuvenated.”

Eve relaxed fully against him. “I’m sorry I fell asleep when you were cooking. Did I ruin everything?”

“We can heat it back up whenever. It was late. You needed rest.”

His fingertips continued to trail up and down her arm. When she shivered, Graham took the twisted blanket and gave it a flick to send it soaring out over their legs. He wrapped her tighter, in the blanket and his arms. Eve wasn’t sure if this was some euphoric state from sleep or if this was really happening. Were they...snuggling? He wasn’t trying to get her undressed, she wasn’t straddling him and ripping his shirt off. They were just...doing nothing and it felt rather amazing.

“As much as I want you to relax and take it easy, I want to know something.”

Eve stilled. “What?”

“About your first pregnancy.”

Eve closed her eyes. She’d known the questions would be coming, and he deserved to know. He’d given her time to prepare and hadn’t immediately asked when Nora spilled the secret the other day.

Eve was ready to tell him now—needed to tell him. There was still a part of her that had to heal before she could move on. Not that she could fully recover from the loss of a child, but talking about the pain with the man she’d fallen in love with would go a long way to preparing her for the next chapter of her life.

“I was in love once,” she started, then realized that wasn’t the right thing to say. “Actually, I thought I was in love, but I had just been blindsided by lust and charm.”

Graham remained silent, but kept his firm hold on her. She appreciated the darkened room, the fact she didn’t have to look him in the eye when she was telling him about this portion of her life. There was a deeper intimacy about letting him in this way.

“I met Rick in college,” she went on. “The attraction was instant. We dated for six months. I thought he was the one.”

The words sounded so cold, so lifeless when she said them, but there was no other way to tell this story. That period of her life was gone and she was only left with the emotional scars.

“I found out I was pregnant.” She’d never forget how happy she was to tell Rick. “I thought we’d marry, raise our family and live happily ever after.” Eve pulled in a breath, toyed with the edging on the crocheted blanket. “When I told him I was pregnant, he was done with me. Apparently he was interested in being married to Sutton’s daughter, but not so much in having a child. No, wait. He was more interested in being married to money. I was nothing.”

“I want to kill him.”

Eve smiled. “I appreciate the offer, but he married into money, then his wife cheated on him with the pool boy. Clichéd, but I did a small victory dance.”

Graham chuckled, squeezing her tighter. “I had no idea you had such a ruthless side. Remind me never to cheat on you with the pool boy.”

Smacking his arm, Eve continued. “Anyway, I was about six weeks pregnant then. I was scared, but my family was so supportive. I knew I’d be okay. Losing the baby never even entered my mind. Not once.”

Graham slid his hand over hers, their fingers lacing over her stomach. That silent supportive gesture had tears burning her eyes.

“Nora, Grace and I had already picked out names,” Eve whispered, her throat full of emotions. “I knew I wanted the nursery decorated in gray and yellow no matter what the sex of the baby was. When I was seventeen weeks, I went in for an ultrasound. The doctor’s office had a new machine, one that had top-of-the-line imaging. I was so excited to see that little face, to find out what I was having.”

When her voice broke, Eve bit her lip. She wanted to hold it together. She wanted to show Graham that she was strong, but all those past emotions threatened to strangle her and end this conversation. Tremors racked her body as her eyes filled. There was no stopping the wave of memories and feelings as she relived the horrid day.

“Eve, don’t—”

“No. I’ve come this far and you need to know.” On a shaky breath, she continued, “The tech kept searching the screen and moving the device over my stomach almost frantically, and I knew something was wrong. Her face wasn’t bright like when I’d first come in. At one point she excused herself and stepped out into the hall to ask someone to find the doctor. I knew. In my heart I knew something was wrong with my baby.”

“What happened?”

“In simple terms, the cord came away from the amniotic sac. I don’t know how far along I was when that happened. The doctor said my body still thought I was pregnant, so my uterus was still stretching.” Eve sniffed, wiped at the tears on her cheeks. “I could’ve lost the baby a month earlier or I could’ve lost her that day. I honestly don’t know. But I know I never want to live through that again. I can’t.”

“Oh, baby.” Graham kissed the top of her head. “I don’t even know what to say.”

“Nothing can be said,” she said. “People told me how sorry they were. They tried to say the right thing, but there isn’t a right thing. I lost a piece of myself that day and the following days are a blur. I will never know that face. That’s all I kept thinking. What did she look like?”

“She?”

Eve shrugged. “I don’t know. I didn’t ask. They had to perform a D&C the next day to remove all the tissue. I was getting prepped for surgery, wondering how things had gone from the highest mountain to the deepest pit I’d ever known, when the nurse had me sign a paper. It was a paper stating I gave them permission to dispose of any remains. Dispose of.”

“Eve, stop, please.”

Tears slid down her face. “How could I sign a paper saying that was okay?” she asked, ignoring his plea. “This was my baby. I know I wasn’t far enough along to have a funeral, but the wording was just so cold, so heartless. I’ll never forget it.”

Graham reached a hand up to wipe her wet cheeks, then smoothed her hair away from her face. “No more. Don’t do this to yourself. I’m such a jerk for asking, but I thought I deserved to know. I should’ve thought of your feelings.”

“No.” Eve shifted in his arms to face him. “You did deserve to know. I wanted to tell you, but I didn’t want to kill our mood here. I want you to know everything about me.”

“I don’t want you hurt,” he murmured against her lips. “I can’t stand it, Eve. Never again will you hurt like that.”

Reaching up to cup his face, Eve tipped her head back. “I hope I don’t. I hope this baby is delivered full-term and healthy. I’m so afraid of how my family will react, how your brothers will take the news. I can handle quite a bit, but I won’t let our child be in the cross fire.”

Graham slid his thumb along her bottom lip. “Nobody will harm you or our child so long as I’m in the picture.”

“And how long will that be?” she dared to ask.

In lieu of an answer, Graham kissed her gently. Eve instantly opened to him. He never had to ask, never had to persuade her. She was always ready for more contact, more of anything that had to do with Graham. He’d listened to her, he’d hurt for her and he was trying to make her forget if only for a short time.

When his hand trailed down to the hem of her shirt, she shifted. Without words, without the usual rush and frenzy, they were undressed and somehow ended up settled right back in the chair.

Eve rested a knee on either side of Graham’s hips. “I love you.”

She didn’t mean to let loose with the words, but there was no holding them back.

“Eve—”

“No.” She held a finger to his lips. “I don’t need anything said in return. I’ve been completely open with you tonight and I wanted to get it all out. I needed to. Now show me how you were going to make me forget the rest of the world.”

* * *

Graham couldn’t get those words out of his mind.

She loved him. Loved. Him.

No other woman, save for his mother and Gerty, had ever uttered those words to him before. He wasn’t sure what to do, what to say. Had she not cut him off, what would’ve come out of his mouth in reply?

As he put breakfast together the following morning, Graham tried to pull himself together. This was what he’d been waiting for. She’d fallen in love with him and now all he had to do was make this relationship more official.

But after all she’d shared before her declaration of love, he didn’t feel right about using her state of vulnerability to complete his plan. He needed to see what happened today, when they could talk more, explore the area together and just be themselves. Maybe...

What? Nothing had changed. He still wanted this child to have his name.

His cell vibrated on the counter. Brooks’s name lit up the screen. Graham slid the casserole into the oven and answered his phone.

“Hello.”

“Roman has a major lead. He thinks he has a name, but he’s going to make a quick trip before he tells us to be sure.”

Could this be it? After all this time could they have found their father?

Since Eve was still in bed where he’d left her, Graham put his phone on speaker so he could start cutting up the fruit.

“How soon will we know?” Graham asked, pulling out various bags of produce from the refrigerator.

“He’s heading there today. Hopefully soon.”

Graham slid a knife from the block on the counter. “I’m going to be nervous all day.”

“Me, too,” his brother said. “You ready to tell me where you are?”

“I’m at the cabin.”

Brooks made a humming sound, one that mocked Graham and made him sorry he’d even admitted that much.

“With?” Brooks asked.

“None of your concern.”

“It’s my concern if you’re sleeping with our enemy’s daughter.”

Graham glanced over his shoulder, thankful to see the living area still empty, which meant she was still in bed. “I’m with Eve, yes. But—”

“What the hell, man? What are you thinking?”

Graham didn’t get a chance to reply before his brother went on. “Are you using her to try to get to Sutton?”

Graham slid the knife through the mango. “No. I wouldn’t do that to her.”

“Then what are you doing?”

Graham swallowed, deciding now was as good a time as any to come clean. “We’re having a baby.”

The explosion of cussing had Graham dropping the knife to the counter and taking the phone off speaker. “Calm the hell down,” he barked.

“How long have you known and how could you keep something like this from me?” Brooks demanded.

“We kept our personal lives from everyone,” Graham explained, leaning against the counter. “Between you, Carson and her family, we just wanted—”

“What? To mess around and not get caught?”

Basically.

“How’d that work out for you?”

Graham raked a hand through his bed head. “Listen, we’re figuring things out and we needed to get away from the city.”

“Sutton is not going to like this.”

“No, he’s not, but there’s nothing that can change the fact.” Graham stared at the stairs to the second floor, wondering how long she would sleep in. “I’m going to ask her to marry me.”

“Are you a complete moron?” Brooks yelled. “Can you just slow down and think this through?”

“I have.” Graham turned around and checked the casserole in the oven. “This baby is a Newport and will be raised as such. I’ll do anything to make sure my child has my last name.”

“So you love her?”

Graham shut the oven door again. “Love has nothing to do with it. The baby is what I’m concerned with.”

When he turned back around, he froze. Eve stood on the other side of the kitchen island. All color had drained from her face as she clutched her silk robe together. The hurt in her eyes gutted him. He’d promised her no more pain, but he’d delivered a hell of a punch.

“I’ll call you later,” he told Brooks, ending the call without waiting for his brother’s reply.

“Don’t make excuses for what I wasn’t supposed to hear,” she told him, tipping her chin. “I’m flattered you want to marry me, but I think I’ll decline. You see, I already made a fool of myself for one man I conceived a child with. I don’t intend to do so again.”

Graham started to step forward, but when she held up a hand and squared her shoulders, he stopped. The sheen in her eyes, the fact that she was fighting back tears, told him he’d completely ruined everything.

But he wasn’t going down without a fight.

“Marriage isn’t a terrible idea, Eve.”

“For us? It’s a terrible idea.”

“Why?”

Crossing her arms over her chest, she pursed her lips as if choosing her next words carefully. Damn, she looked beautiful this morning. With her tousled hair, bright eyes, face devoid of any makeup, Eve was stunning. And she was pulling away. He couldn’t let her end what he’d worked so hard to complete.

“I told you I loved you,” she started, blinking away the tears. “I meant it. I didn’t expect the words in return if you weren’t feeling the same way. I understand. But to know you only want to marry me because of our baby, it’s just so archaic. Did you think I’d keep your child from you?”

Graham didn’t care what she wanted. He took a step toward her. “I didn’t know what would happen, Eve. All I know is I’m going to be a father and I can’t miss that. I can’t.”

Emotions he hadn’t fully grasped came rushing at him. “I grew up without a father,” he went on, still slowly closing the gap between them. “I’ve wondered for the past thirty-two years who my dad is, if he wanted me, if he even knows I exist. It’s an empty void that I may never fill.”

He stood so close now, Eve tipped her head back to look up into his eyes. The need for her understanding was so great, he had to find the right words. Any charm or wit he normally used to get his way wasn’t possible here. All he could do was hope for the best when he opened up with complete and total honesty.

“Do you understand what I’m saying?” he asked. “I can’t let my child grow up without me. I don’t want another man raising what’s mine.”

Eve’s jaw clenched as she closed her eyes and pulled in a breath. “Do I look like I have men lined up outside my door?” she finally asked, glaring back at him. “Apparently you don’t know me at all. And all I hear is how you want to give this child a name and treat him or her like your property. That’s not how this works and that sure as hell isn’t how a marriage should work.”

“Eve—”

“No.”

She backed away and held out both hands. Just as she did, she started to sway. Graham reached for her, but she pushed him away. She held her stomach with one hand and covered her mouth with the other. Alarmed, he waited to make sure she wasn’t going to get sick or pass out. He was a complete ass for...well, everything. He remained close, though, in case she needed him. Not that she’d take his help now.

Moments later she pulled herself together and smoothed her hair from her face. “I’m going back to Chicago as soon as I call my pilot to come get me. Elite has a private helicopter at our disposal.”

“I’ll take you.”

She was going. There was no stopping her. She’d erected walls he couldn’t penetrate, not when she was so angry, so hurt. But he’d continue to chip away because he wasn’t lying. There was no way he’d let his child grow up without a father.

“I’d rather call my pilot,” she told him.

Eve turned on her heel and headed toward the stairs. Graham couldn’t take his eyes off her. He silently pleaded for her to understand where he was coming from, why he was so adamant about marriage.

With her hand on the post, she turned to look over her shoulder. “You know what’s sad? I thought you brought me here because you cared about me. I was naive enough to think you might have stronger feelings for me, that you wanted to get closer to me. Not because I was pregnant, but because of me.”

Graham couldn’t breathe, couldn’t move.

Eve dropped her head between her shoulders, her grip tightening on the post. “You were using me all this time. I should’ve listened to my family when they first told me to stay away from you. But I defended you.”

Now she turned to face him, her cheeks pink from tears, from anger. Graham hated himself at that moment. He hated the way he’d portrayed himself, the way he’d let her down when he’d promised that no one would hurt her again. He’d destroyed her. Destroyed the light in her eyes, the smile she so freely gave.

“I won’t keep you from your child.” Her voice shook, her chin quivered. “But I won’t marry you, and from here on out, we’re nothing to each other.”

Without another word, she went up the stairs. Graham listened as the bedroom door clicked shut. The gentle sound seemed to echo through the spacious house. It symbolized everything that had just happened. She’d put a barrier between them, and as he stood on the outside, he couldn’t help but wonder how the hell he could ever fix this.