Kitabı oku: «The Complete Regency Bestsellers And One Winters Collection», sayfa 17
Chapter Thirty-Five
The bookshop had been a mistake, Alex now realized.
After weeks of shedding tears in her cake, a bit of shopping ought to have been a pleasant change. The prospect of escaping to the country gave her something to look forward to. Away from London, she hoped her heart might mend a bit faster. But simply being in this bookshop was opening the wound all over again.
It wasn’t even Hatchard’s this time. She’d known that would be too painful. Instead, she’d chosen the Temple of Muses. The shop’s rotunda design had always delighted her. A set of stairs led to a balcony lining the interior dome. The shelves there were crammed with books as high as a person—a person significantly taller than Alex—could reach. This was where she always browsed first. Balcony books were better than ground-floor books. They just were. Really, anything put on a balcony was instantly improved.
The exception today was Alex’s mood. The balcony had not lifted her spirits.
She couldn’t help but see Chase’s eyes connecting with hers, or feel the way his charming, rakish grin had made her heart and hands flutter. It was as though she could see him before her. Breathe in his scent.
She could almost imagine that she heard his voice.
“Alexandra! Alexandra Mountbatten!”
She opened her eyes and looked down over the railing.
Chase.
He was there. Bellowing her name through a quiet bookshop and dashing through the aisles like a madman.
Alex had the momentary impulse to hide, but something in her wouldn’t allow it. She stood riveted in place.
Eventually, he spotted her.
“Alex. Thank God.” He doubled over, hands on his knees. “Just give me a moment. I’m winded. Been running all over London.”
“Why? So you could bump into me and make me drop my books again?” She put one forearm on the railing and allowed a slender volume to slip from her fingers. It bounced off Chase’s shoulder. “Oh, dear.”
He was unfazed by the blow. “Stay where you are. I’m coming to you.”
“No,” she said. “You are the last person I want to see.”
“Well, you are the last person I want to see, too.”
She gestured in exasperation. “Then why are you—”
“You are the last person I want to see before I fall asleep at night. Every night. The last woman I want to kiss for the remainder of my life. And your lovely face is the very last thing I want to see before I die. Because I love you, Alexandra.”
Her eyes stung at the corners. “Why are you so good at these charming, romantic speeches? From practice, I suppose.”
“Perhaps. But if I have practiced, it feels as though it was all for the sole purpose of winning you over right now.” He gazed up at her. “Tell me it’s working.”
It seemed it might be working, and that was what terrified her.
“Please don’t put me through this. Every time you’re near me, I build up these silly hopes. It doesn’t make any sense, but I can’t help it. Then I get hurt all over again.”
“So I’ll speak to you from here. This should be a safe distance.”
Alexandra wasn’t so certain. His handsomeness had a greater range than a six-pounder cannon.
“You were so right,” he said. “I regretted everything I’d said within hours of you walking out the door. I wanted to go after you at once, but I knew it would be pointless. You’d have no reason to trust me. To be honest, I didn’t trust myself. But now I can stand here and tell you, sincerely, that I’ve changed.”
She didn’t know what to say.
“You should see us. Daisy’s speeding through books faster than I can acquire them, and I’ve started Rosamund on geometry. Barrow helped me find a tutor. I still believe school may be best for them eventually, but you were right. They need more time.”
The pride and love in his voice was too much for her. She turned away from the railing, overwhelmed. Within moments, he was bounding up the stairs to join her on the balcony.
She held him off with an outstretched hand. She was almost afraid to ask it, but she had to know. “What about the Cave of Carnality?”
“Ah, yes. That. Sadly, the Libertine Lair is no more.”
“Did you give the space back to Mrs. Greeley?”
“No, no. The girls helped me convert it. It’s now the Pirate Palace. One that occasionally serves as a general surgery.”
She laughed a little, picturing it.
“They miss you so much. But I miss you more.”
Alex’s eyes were stinging. She blinked furiously. She wanted so desperately to believe in him, believe in this. But she’d grown mistrustful of her heart.
“Here, let’s do this your way.” He took a few steps toward her and gathered an armful of books from a nearby shelf. “We’ll make two piles. For and against marrying me. We’ll start with ‘against,’ because those reasons are easy to name. Terrible reputation. History of rakishness. Poorly behaved in museums.” He piled book after book on the stack, with an increasingly absurd list of supposed detractors. So many that he had to empty a second shelf.
“I might as well add a book for every time I let you down.” With a heavy sigh, he topped the stack of books with a half dozen or so more. “There. Anything else you care to add?”
After consideration, she placed one more on the pile. “Antlers.”
He nodded. “I don’t know how I missed that. Now, the ‘for’ column.”
Alex had already started that stack in her mind. His wicked sense of humor. His protective, caring nature. The way he took an interest in things just because they interested her. She didn’t suppose he’d leave “astonishing in bed” off the list.
Instead of beginning a second pile on the floor, however, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small package. He held it out to her. “I love you. That’s the sum of it, really. Can it be enough?”
She took the package from him, unknotted the lavender ribbon, and pushed aside the tissue. Inside, she found a small book, bound in blue calfskin. She turned it over in her hands to read the embossed title on the spine.
Messier’s Catalogue of Star Clusters and Nebulae.
Alex looked at him, stunned. Her mind ran wild with all those familiar fantasies. All her dreams of his keeping the book tucked next to his heart and looking for her around every corner. Until he found her again, declared his love, and begged her to become Mrs. Bookshop Rake.
“Have you been carrying it around all this time?” she asked.
“No, of course not.”
“Oh.”
“Why would I do that?”
“I . . . don’t know.”
“I took the first one back to Hatchard’s last autumn, in case you looked for it again. Also because I’d no idea what to do with the thing. I ordered this copy a month or so ago, and I meant to give it to you then, but between you finding a comet and me making a first-rate ass of myself, it slipped my mind until today.”
Well, that was a significantly less romantic story, but one that made her heart soar just the same. Because it was undoubtedly real, and entirely Chase.
She ran her hands over the binding and lifted it to her nose to breathe in the new-book smell. “It’s beautiful.”
“You’re beautiful.” He reached for her, laying a tentative caress to her cheek. “I wish I could promise to never, ever hurt you. But I’m new to this whole love and commitment business. I’m bound to cock it up from time to time. What I can promise is that I won’t give up. Not on you, not on myself. Not on us. You taught me that.”
“I can’t believe you listened.”
With a lopsided, charming smile, he pulled her close, drawing her into his arms. He looked at her with warm green eyes—truly looked at her—the way people rarely did, because it meant allowing the other person to truly look at them, too.
This time she didn’t feel like the only woman in the universe. Or the only woman in the world, or even the only woman in the bookshop.
She felt like the woman in his arms, and that was enough.
“Alexandra. My friend, my lover, my love. Come home.”
Epilogue
“Oh, Alex.” Penny lifted her head from the telescope. “It’s so beautiful.”
Alexandra laughed. “It’s a tiny sky smudge.”
“But it’s your sky smudge,” Chase said.
Alex corrected him. “Ours.”
Her friends were trying so very hard to seem impressed with her speck of light, bless them. To Alex, it didn’t truly matter if they understood. It mattered that they were there.
Everyone was there. The little sky-gazing picnic in Bloom Square had grown into a proper garden party. Even better, a family party.
Alexandra had never dreamed of having this many people to call her own. She had not only Chase, Rosamund, and Daisy—John, Elinor, and little Charles were her family now, too. As godmother to Richmond, she would always be connected to Emma and Ash. Nicola and Penny couldn’t be rid of her if they tried.
And then there was Marigold the goat, who had more than justified her attendance at the event by “accidentally” consuming a hamper’s worth of Penny’s sandwiches. And half of the hamper itself.
“Even if it is just a smudge in the sky, at least it has a grandiose name,” Nicola said. “Though I must admit, it doesn’t quite trip off the tongue. ‘Mountbatten-Reynaud comet’ is rather a mouthful.”
“‘Rather a mouthful,’” Chase repeated, musing. “People are always saying that like it’s a bad thing. What’s so terrible about mouthfuls? I like mouthfuls.”
“I enjoy a good mouthful myself,” Ash declared. “Emma does, as well. Don’t you, darling?”
Alexandra and Emma exchanged a look. It was lovely that their husbands were becoming a grudging sort of friends, but the two men were difficult enough to manage separately. Together, they could be exponentially incorrigible.
“You can blame my husband for the name.” Alex had insisted they share the naming of it. After all, he’d been with her that night in the garden, and then when they confirmed the discovery. “I wanted to call it Reynaud’s comet, since I’m a Reynaud now, too.”
“Yes, but you weren’t when you discovered it,” Chase pointed out. “We discussed this. You can insist on sharing the credit, but you are not allowed to hide your accomplishment behind my name.”
The irony of a husband dictating how his wife expressed her independence seemed utterly lost on him. Nevertheless, Alex let it pass without comment. There would be a more important naming conversation in the coming months, and she had to choose her battles.
She put her hand on her belly, and the tiny smudge growing within her. She’d kept her suspicions to herself thus far. She hadn’t wanted to tell Chase until she could be absolutely certain. What if she raised his hopes—and her own—only to be disappointed?
Now she found herself reconsidering. Any hopes or disappointments belonged to Chase, too.
Perhaps she’d tell him tonight.
Emma handed off the baby to Ash. “I want another turn at the telescope. It’s not every day one has a chance to view her friend’s very own comet.”
“No, indeed,” Alex said. “Take a good look now. According to Mrs. Somerville’s calculations, after this summer it won’t be visible again for a hundred and forty-seven years.”
“You had better leave a detailed note for the great-great-grandchildren,” Ash said.
“That would require them to have children first,” Emma pointed out.
“Excellent observation. We’ll get on that right away.” Chase clapped his hands together. “On that note, good night and good-bye. All of you.”
Her husband was such a terrible rogue.
Perhaps Alex wouldn’t tell him tonight after all.
Acknowledgments
To Bren, Tessa, Elle, Steve, Ruth, Kelly, Rose, Mr. Dare, and the Darelings:
There’s no way I could have finished this book without each and every one of you. Thank you, from the bottom of my sleep-deprived, over-caffeinated, eternally grateful heart.
Society’s Beauties
Mistress at Midnight
Scars of Betrayal
Sophia James

Mistress at Midnight
Sophia James
This one’s for you, Nina. I really appreciate your support
Chapter One
June 1855—England
Stephen Hawkhurst, Lord of Atherton, felt the wind rise up from the bottom of Taylor’s Gap, salt on its edge. He frowned as he breathed in, a smooth wooden railing all that held him between this world and the next one.
So very easy to end it, to simply let go and fall into oblivion. Pushing harder, he felt the barrier give and a few stones, dislodged by the movement, hurled down the incline to disappear into nothingness.
‘If you jump, you would need to land exactly between that rock and the cliff,’ a voice said, one small gloved hand pointing downwards. ‘If you veer to the left, you will be caught on those bushes, you see, and such a fall could leave you merely crippled. To the right is a better option as the shale would be more forgiving before it threw you over the edge into the sea. However, if you excel at the art of swimming…?’ She stopped, the implication understood.
Stiffening, Hawk turned to see a woman standing near, a black veil hiding every feature of her face. Her clothes were heavy and practical. A lady of commerce, perhaps? Or the daughter of a merchant? God, what luck was there in that? Miles from anywhere and The voice of reason close by.
‘I may, of course, merely be taking in the view.’ The irritation in his words was unbecoming and he was a man who was seldom rude to women. But this one was far from cowed.
‘One would generally look to the horizon if that was the case, sir. The sun is setting, you see, and it would be this vista your eyes would be drawn towards.’
‘Then perhaps I am tired?’
‘Fatigue would show itself in a leaning gait and great exertion would be seen in dust upon your boots.’ Her head tipped down to look. Stephen imagined her satisfaction when she saw his shiny new black Hessians. He wished she would turn and leave, but she stood silent and waiting, breath even and unhurried.
Surveying the nearby paths, he realised that she was alone. Unusual for a lady not to be chaperoned. He wondered how she had got here and where she would go to next.
There was a hole in the thumb of her right-hand glove and an unbuffed nail was bitten to the quick. The hat she wore hid her hair completely, though an errant curl of vibrant red had escaped from its clutches and lay across the darkness of her clothes like rubies in a coal seam. Beneath the notes of a heavier perfume he smelt the light freshness of violets.
‘I came here often as a young girl with my mother and she would stand just where I am and speak of what was over the seas in all the directions that I might name.’ This was said suddenly after a good few moments of silence. He liked how she did not feel the need to fill in every space with chatter. ‘France lies that way, and Denmark, there. A thousand miles to the north-east a boat could founder against the rocky coast of the Kingdom of Norway.’
She had a slight accent, though the cadence held the timbre of something that Hawk did not recognise. The thought amused him for he was a master of discerning that which people wished not to divulge. He had made his life from it, after all.
‘Where is your mother now?’
‘Oh, she left England many years ago. She was French, you understand, and my father had no desire to stop her in her travels.’
His interest was firmly caught as he took a step back. ‘He did not accompany her, then?’
‘Papa loves poetry and text. His vocation is as small as my mother’s was large and a library filled with books was all he ever claimed to want in adventure. Her journeys would have worried him.’
‘The adventurer and the academic? An interesting combination. Which parent do you favour?’ The question came from nowhere, for Stephen had certainly not meant to voice it, but the woman had a charm that was…unexpected. It had been a long time since he had felt the sense of aliveness he did here with her.
One hand crossed to her face, pushing the gauze closer to her cheek. In The slanting light of sunset he could make out a finely chiselled nose. ‘Neither,’ she answered. ‘The will to do exactly as one wants requires a certain amount of spare time which is a commodity I can ill afford.’
‘Because you spend the day rearranging your father’s extensive library?’ He found himself smiling.
‘Everyone has a story, sir, though your assumptions lack as much in truth as any tale that I might fashion around you.’
Stepping back another pace, he felt the bush at his back, sturdy and green. ‘What would you say of me?’
‘I would say that you are a man who leads others, though few really know you.’
Such a truth cut quick, because she was right. He seldom showed anyone who he was.
But she was not finished. Taking his hand, she turned it palm upwards, tracing the lines with her first finger. Stephen felt like snatching it back, away from the things that she might or might not see.
‘You have a high falsetto singing voice, seldom touch strong drink and never bet at the New Year races at Newmarket.’
Her voice held a note of humour, and relief bloomed. ‘So very exact. You ought to have a stall outside the Leadenhall.’
‘It’s a gift, sir,’ she returned, her head tipping to one side as though measuring all that he was. Like a naturalist might watch an insect before sticking it through with a pin. There was something in her stillness that was unnerving and he tried his hardest to discern the rest of her features.
‘Do you have a name?’ Suddenly he wanted to know just who she was and where she came from. Coincidences were seldom as they seemed. His job had at least taught him that.
‘Aurelia, my lord,’ she offered, a new tone in his given title, a tone he understood too well. She gave no surname.
‘You know who I am, then?’
‘I have heard of you from many different people.’
‘And the gossip of strangers is so very truthful.’
‘It is my experience that beneath the embellishment, tittle-tattle always holds a measure of truth. It is said that you spend a lot of time away from England and its society?’
‘I am easily bored.’
‘Oh, I doubt that entirely.’
‘And easily disappointed.’
‘An explanation that may account for your presence here at Taylor’s Gap.’
He breathed out hard, the possibility of blackmail creeping in unbidden.
She faced him directly, now, and lifted her veil. Freckles across the bridge of a fine nose were the first things he registered. Then he saw that one eye was blue and the other dark brown. A mismatched angel!
‘It was an accident. A bleed. I fell from a horse as a child and hit my head hard.’ This explanation was given in the tone of one who might have often said it.
She was so pale the blood in her veins could be seen through the skin at her temple. Like the wings of a butterfly, barely there. He wanted to lean forwards and touch such delicacy, but he did not because something in her eyes stopped him. He knew this familiar look of supplication, his many estates holding the promise of a largesse that was tantalising.
But not from her. The disappointment of it pierced hard even as she began to speak.
‘I would ask a favour of you, Lord Hawkhurst.’
There. It was said, and in the circumstances he would have to be generous. It wasn’t everyone who had seen the demons in him so clearly.
‘Indeed.’
‘I have a sister, Leonora Beauchamp, who is both young and beautiful and I want her to marry a man who would care for her well.’
As her words settled, fury solidified. ‘I am not in the market for a wife, madam, no matter what you might like to say of this encounter.’
Her voice shook as she continued to speak. ‘It isn’t marriage I petition. I merely want you to invite Leonora to the ball I know you to be giving next week at your town house. I shall accompany her to ensure you know who it is to make some fuss of. A dance should do it, or two, if you will. After that I promise to never darken your pathway again.’
The anger in him abated slightly. ‘To where should I send the invitations?’
‘Braeburn House in Upper Brook Street. Any delivery boy would know of it.’
‘How old is your sister?’
‘Eighteen.’
‘And you?’
She did not answer and his heart felt heavy as he looked down at her. ‘So you are Aurelia Beauchamp?’
The shake of her head surprised him. ‘Nay, that is Leonora’s surname, but if you could see it in yourself to welcome my sister despite any…misgivings, I would be most appreciative.’ Removing one glove, she delved into her pocket and brought out a pendant fashioned with a single diamond in white gold. ‘I do not ask you to do this for nothing, Lord Hawkhurst, but if you say yes to the bargain between us I do expect you to hold up your end of it, without excuse. Could you promise me that?’
Interest began to creep under wrath, the flush on her face as becoming as any he had ever seen on a woman. She was a beauty! Beneath the fabric of her other hand he saw a ring, bold against the sheen of superfine.
Was she married? If she was his woman, he would have not let her roam the countryside so unprotected.
He smiled at such thoughts. Unprotected? Lord, was he finally growing a conscience? Thirty-one years old and all of them hard edged. The ends of his fingers curled against his thighs and he made himself breathe in, the souls of those he had sent to the afterlife calling close.
For Queen and for country or for the dubious needs of men left in charge of a foreign policy decades out of tune. Aye, England had not thanked him at all and he did not wish it to. But sometimes in a quiet corner of the world such as this one, and in the company of a woman who was as beautiful as she was beguiling, he wished for…something else.
He could not name it. It was too removed from the roads that he had followed, at first in wanderlust and excitement and now out of habit and ennui.
Murder, even in the circumstances of national security, sounded wrong. His father would have told him that, and his mother, too, had she lived. But they were long gone and the only family member left to give some guidance was Alfred; his uncle’s scrambled mind still lurked in the remnants of the second Peninsular Campaign under Wellington, reality lost in the scarred remains of his left temple.
Stephen would have sworn had he been alone, but the sunset crept over her upturned face, painting untarnished skin the blush pink of dusk. The very sight of her took his breath away. Like an angel offering redemption to a sinner, her fragile stillness warming a heart long since encased in ice.
‘Keep the pendant, madam, for I should wish another payment altogether, here in the open air and far from any community.’ The beat of his rising want hummed beneath the banter. Part of him knew he should not voice a request that was as inappropriate as it was banal, but the larger part of him ignored such a warning. He was a man who had lived for years in the land of shadows and ill repute and it had rubbed off on him, he supposed. Aye, he almost welcomed the distance scandal had brought, though sometimes, like now, a crack appeared, small and fragile, and a worm of longing for the good life that he might have lived wriggled through. He should turn and walk away, protecting the little decency still left inside him.
But he didn’t.
Instead he said that which had been building from the first moment of meeting her. ‘All I want as payment is a kiss, given freely and without anger.’
She waved such a notion away, the diamond clutched awkwardly in her hand. ‘You do not understand, my lord, it is my sister whom I need you to introduce into polite society. It is not a liaison for myself that I seek here… .’
‘Then I refuse your terms.’
She was silent and still, long slender fingers worrying the dark folds of her skirt, and further away the birds gathered for a last chorus before slumber.
‘Only a kiss, you say?’ Whispered. Unbelieving.
The deep blush of blood bloomed under paleness.
He would know her name soon enough and then he would despise her as everybody else did, and too late to change it. But a chance for Leonora to be in the top echelons of London’s Society was not to be dallied with.
One chance.
Fate had a way of occasionally throwing a lifeline and who was she to refuse? Even had he asked for more she could not have said no. For Leonora and for the twins. The stakes had risen as their circumstances had declined and with Papa…She shook her head. She would not think of him.
Goodness, why did he not just take the pendant and be done with it? It was worth so much more than this nonsense he sought. And how was this to work? Did she face him and wait or did he require some prior flirtation?
A refusal would egg a man like him on. She knew it. Better to be sensible and allow him this one small favour, hold her lips up to his and close her eyes, tightly, until it was over.
His finger against her throat stopped every logical train of thought, the gentle play of the sensual so very unexpected. If she had been stronger, she might have stepped back and away. But the sensation of a man whose very name incited hysteria and frenzy amongst a great portion of the fairer sex in England caressing her was mesmerising and she could neither move nor call a stop to it.
The braiding holding the material of her gown together was thick and stiff, a resilient barrier to any more intimate caress. She was glad of such armour.
The hat surprised her, though, his free hand simply lifting the contraption off her head and away, the trailing ties lost in a growing wind as the piece fell to her feet.
‘The colour of fire,’ he said of her hair.
Or of shame, she thought, deep amber catching the final burst of sunset. She could see in his expression just what she had so often seen in those of others.
Uncertainty.
All the difficulties in her life surfaced, roaming free in her head, and she shut her eyes.
‘Nay. I want you to see me.’ He waited until she complied.
Closer he came, breath against her skin, the dark green of his pupils surrounded by gold. She could have fallen into those eyes, like the sky into a puddle, fathomlessly deep. Disorientated, she felt him draw her inwards, the muscles in his arms strong. She would remember this particular moment all the days of her life, she thought, with a heat of anticipation beating inside. His right temple held a raised crescent scar beneath the line of hair.
Blood surged through fear, like a river breaking its banks and running unconfined across a land it did not normally traverse, taking with it all that was more usually there. A changing landscape. An altered truth.
His heat was surprising. Each part of her skin seemed on fire as his lips took her own, ignoring the small token she thought to give him and opening her mouth to his tongue instead.
Inside, tasting, hard pressure and thin pain winding upwards from the depths of her being. Her fingers came to his neck of their own accord, threading through dark strands, her body splayed along the length of his, no space to separate them. She felt him turn her into a deeper embrace, the ache of need blooming over any sense that she might have tried to keep hold of, and she opened to him further. Her whole body now, legs jammed against the junction of his thighs, riding lust. His breathing was as hoarse as hers, no control, the huge yawning space of nature about them consigned to only this touch.
Hers. She wanted more. She wanted what she read of and dreamed about in her bed late at night as all the house slumbered and the banked fires dimmed.
She felt his masculinity through the wool of her skirt as he tipped his head to break the kiss.
‘God.’ The sound he uttered was neither soft nor gladdened. It was harsh and angry and uncertain, his mouth nuzzling her throat, biting into flesh, asking for completion, the knowledge of all he sought unspoken. When his thumb ran across the hardness of her nipple, flicking at the covering of bombazine, she simply went to pieces, the control that she had kept so tightly bound dissolving into disorder.
He held her against the half-light and the silence and the empty landscape, and release left her shaking. No sense in it, save feeling. When he raised her chin she took in the glory as he watched her, waves of passion wrenching gasps without voice. Lost and found, the gold in his eyes the only touchstone to a different reality, the tightened cords of lust entwined into every sinew of her body, her nails running unnoticed down the skin at his neck. A thousand hours or a single moment? She could not know the extent of her loss of governance until the world reformed and they were standing again on the top of Taylor’s Gap.
Aurelia felt embarrassment and then shame. If he let her go, she would fall, like a boneless thing, all stamina gone. Laying her head against his chest, she listened to his heartbeat, the strong and even rhythm bringing her back.
‘Thank you.’ She could not say more and to say less would have been mean spirited. He had to know that, at least, but in the face of her appalling behaviour all she wanted was to be gone.
Lord. She had come as he watched her, the feel of her body tight against his own and wonder in her eyes. Like quicksilver. Like magic. Like all his dreams wrapped into one, her long red hair curling against his skin, the serpent snakes of Medusa.
He knew not one single thing about her save that of a connection in flesh.
But he wanted her. He wanted to lay her down beneath the bushes behind them and remove the black and dowdy robe. He wanted to see her slender pale limbs in the oncoming moonlight as his hands wandered the lines of them before slipping into the wet warmth of her centre. He wanted to take her and know her again and again until there was nothing left of self, melded into the eternal.