Sadece Litres'te okuyun

Kitap dosya olarak indirilemez ancak uygulamamız üzerinden veya online olarak web sitemizden okunabilir.

Kitabı oku: «Unrivalled»

Yazı tipi:


For Jackie and Michelle, my BFFs for too many decades to count!

All that glitters is not gold.

—WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE

Acknowledgements

This book has been so much fun to write, and it’s all thanks to the following people: my lovely and amazing editors Katherine Tegen, Claudia Gabel, and Melissa Miller, who made this book possible; my wonderful agent, Bill Contardi, the perfect combination of humour and smarts; and, as always, my husband, Sandy, who showed me that all things are possible for those who believe.

Table of Contents

Cover

Title Page

Dedication

Epigraph

Acknowledgements

PROLOGUE: LOST STARS

ONE MONTH EARLIER

ONE: HYPOCRITICAL KISS

TWO: WHILE MY GUITAR GENTLY WEEPS

THREE: REASONS TO BE BEAUTIFUL

FOUR: CELEBRITY SKIN

FIVE: MENTAL HOPSCOTCH

SIX: LONG COOL WOMAN (IN A BLACK DRESS)

SEVEN: I CAN’T GET NO (SATISFACTION)

EIGHT: TEENAGE DREAM

NINE: SUMMERTIME SADNESS

TEN: MR. BRIGHTSIDE

ELEVEN: ROYALS

TWELVE: I WANNA BE SEDATED

THIRTEEN: EVERYBODY WANTS TO RULE THE WORLD

FOURTEEN: SEX AND CANDY

FIFTEEN: YOUNG AND BEAUTIFUL

SIXTEEN: BLURRED LINES

SEVENTEEN: GO HARD OR GO HOME

EIGHTEEN: THE POLITICS OF DANCING

NINETEEN: WICKED GAME

TWENTY: LIPS LIKE SUGAR

TWENTY-ONE: SUNDAY BLOODY SUNDAY

TWENTY-TWO: GHOST IN THE MACHINE

TWENTY-THREE: SUICIDE BLONDE

TWENTY-FOUR: KNOW YOUR ENEMY

TWENTY-FIVE: SHADES OF COOL

TWENTY-SIX: SHOW ME WHAT I’M LOOKING FOR

TWENTY-SEVEN: BACK DOOR MAN

TWENTY-EIGHT: WORK B**CH

TWENTY-NINE: GOLD ON THE CEILING

THIRTY: NOTHING ELSE MATTERS

THIRTY-ONE: DESTINATION UNKNOWN

THIRTY-TWO: THIS IS HOW A HEART BREAKS

THIRTY-THREE: HOW TO SAVE A LIFE

THIRTY-FOUR: LIKE A VIRGIN

THIRTY-FIVE: JUST A GIRL

THIRTY-SIX: BREAKING THE GIRL

THIRTY-SEVEN: BIGMOUTH STRIKES AGAIN

THIRTY-EIGHT: ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?

THIRTY-NINE: BULLET WITH BUTTERFLY WINGS

FORTY: WAKE ME UP WHEN SEPTEMBER ENDS

FORTY-ONE: BLOW ME (ONE LAST KISS)

FORTY-TWO: THE HAND THAT FEEDS

FORTY-THREE: ANOTHER WAY TO DIE

FORTY-FOUR: THE SWEET ESCAPE

FORTY-FIVE: NOWHERE GIRL

FORTY-SIX: GLORY AND GORE

FORTY-SEVEN: CALIFORNICATION

FORTY-EIGHT: SHAKE IT OFF

FORTY-NINE: SHUT UP AND DANCE

FIFTY: HIPS DON’T LIE

FIFTY-ONE: DON’T SAVE ME

FIFTY-TWO: PARANOID

FIFTY-THREE: MISSING PIECES

FIFTY-FOUR: RUNNIN’ DOWN A DREAM

FIFTY-FIVE: PICTURES OF YOU

FIFTY-SIX: GOODBYE TO YOU

FIFTY-SEVEN: BANG BANG

Copyright

PROLOGUE LOST STARS

Despite the crush of tourists storming the sidewalks year after year, Hollywood Boulevard is a place best viewed behind a pair of polarized lenses and lowered expectations.

From the string of sagging buildings in various stages of decay, the tacky souvenir shops hawking plastic statues of Marilyn in her windblown white dress, and the seemingly endless parade of addicts, runaways, and glamour-deprived transients, it doesn’t take long before the sunburned, white-sneaker-wearing masses realize the LA they’re searching for does not exist there.

In a city that feeds off youth and beauty, Hollywood Boulevard more closely resembles a former screen siren who’s seen better days. The incessant sunshine is a harsh and brutal companion, intent on magnifying every wrinkle, every age spot.

Yet for those who know where to look (and those fortunate enough to boast a spot on the guest list), it also serves as an oasis of the city’s hottest nightclubs—a sort of hedonistic haven for the young, fabulous, and rich.

For Madison Brooks, the boulevard was everything she’d dreamed it would be. Maybe it didn’t look anything like the snow globe she’d had as a kid, the one that showered small squares of golden glitter over a miniature version of the Hollywood sign, but she never expected it would. Unlike those clueless tourists expecting to see their favorite celebrities hanging by their Walk of Fame stars, handing out autographs and hugs to all who passed by, Madison knew exactly what she’d find.

She did her due diligence.

Left nothing to chance.

After all, when planning an invasion, it’s best to familiarize yourself with the lay of the land.

And now, only a few short years after exiting that grimy bus station in downtown LA, her face was on the cover of nearly every magazine, every billboard. The town was officially hers.

While the journey was far more arduous than she’d ever let on, Madison managed to surpass everyone’s expectations but her own. Most merely hoped she’d survive. Not a single person from her former life expected her to rocket straight to the top. Ultimately becoming so known, so lauded, so connected, she’d command full, no-questions-asked access to one of LA’s hottest nightclubs long after it had closed for the night.

In a rare moment of privacy, Madison strode toward the edge of the vacant Night for Night terrace. The heels of her Gucci stilettos sliding gracefully against the smooth stone floor, she pressed a hand to her heart and bowed toward the skyline, imagining those flickering lights as an audience of millions—cell phones and lighters raised in her honor.

The moment reminded her of a similar game she’d played as a kid. Back when she staged elaborate performances for a crowd of grubby stuffed animals with matted hair and missing limbs. Their dull, unblinking button eyes fixed on the sight of Madison dancing and singing before them. Those tireless rehearsals prepping her for the day those secondhand toys would be replaced by real, live screaming fans. She never once doubted her dream would become a reality.

Madison hadn’t become Hollywood’s hottest young celebrity by hoping, wishing, or depending on others. Discipline, control, and steely determination steered her ascent. Although the media loved to portray her as a frivolous party girl (albeit one with serious acting chops), beneath the salacious headlines was a young and powerful girl who’d seized control of her destiny and made it her bitch.

Not that she’d ever admit to such a thing. Better to let them think she was a princess whose life flowed effortlessly. The lie provided a shield that kept them from learning the truth. Those who dared scratch beneath the surface never got very far. The road to Madison’s past was jammed with so many roadblocks even the most determined journalist eventually yielded defeat by writing about her unparalleled beauty—her hair the color of warming chestnuts on a crisp fall day (according to the guy who’d recently interviewed her for Vanity Fair). He also described her violet eyes as shadowed by a lushly dark nimbus of lashes used to alternately reveal and conceal. And wasn’t there a mention of her skin being pearlescent or incandescent or some other descriptor that translates to radiant?

Funny how he began the interview as just another jaded journalist sure he could break her. Convinced that their vast age difference—she being eighteen, he hovering way past forty (ancient in comparison)—along with his superior IQ (his assumption, not hers)—meant he could trick her into revealing something regrettable that would send her career into a tailspin, only to walk away from their meeting entirely frustrated, if not a little infatuated. Same as all the others who’d gone before—each of them grudgingly admitting there was something different about Madison Brooks. She wasn’t your average starlet.

She leaned deeper into the night, swept her fingers across her lips, and arced her arm wide, releasing a string of kisses to her imaginary fans flickering and gleaming below. So captured by the sheer unbridled giddiness of all she’d accomplished, she lifted her chin in triumph and released a shout so thunderous it blotted out the incessant soundtrack of traffic and sirens below.

It felt good to let go.

To allow herself, for one brief instant, to be as wild and untamed as she’d been as a kid.

“I did it!” she whispered to herself, the imaginary fans glimmering in the distance, but mostly to those who’d doubted her, even tried to thwart her.

The second time, she allowed the startling twang she’d long since abandoned to slip to the surface, amazed at how easy it was to summon that voice—another remnant of a past she could never fully escape. Considering the reckless way she’d behaved earlier, she wondered if she really wanted to.

The memory of the boy she’d kissed was still fresh on her lips. For the first time in a long time, she’d allowed herself to relax enough to let down her guard and be seen for the girl she really was.

Still, she couldn’t help wondering if she’d made a mistake.

The thought alone was sobering enough, but a quick glance at her diamond-encrusted Piaget gave her real reason to worry.

The person she was meeting should’ve been there already, and his lateness, along with the silence of the closed and empty club, was starting to feel far more eerie than liberating. Despite the warmth of the California summer night, she pulled her cashmere scarf tighter around her. If there was one thing that made Madison shiver, it was uncertainty. Maintaining control was as necessary as breathing. And yet there she was, second-guessing the message he’d sent.

If the news was good like he’d claimed, she’d put the nuisance behind her and never look back.

If not … well, she had a plan for that too.

She just hoped it wouldn’t come to that. She hated when things got messy.

Curling her delicate fingers around the slim glass partition, the only thing separating her from a forty-foot fall, she lifted her gaze to the sky, trying to locate a single star that wasn’t actually an airplane, but there’s only one kind of star in LA.

While she usually fought to avoid all thoughts of the past, on that night, for that one brief moment, Madison allowed herself to drift back to a place where real stars were abundant.

Back to a place that had better stay buried.

A breeze curled past her cheek, delivering the sound of light footsteps and a strangely familiar scent she couldn’t quite place. Still, she waited a beat before turning, stealing the moment to wish on a shooting star she’d mistaken for a jet, crossing her fingers as it blazed a wide and glittery arc across a black velvet sky.

It would all be okay.

There was no need to worry.

She turned, ready to face it, whatever it was. She was telling herself she could handle it either way—when a cool, sure hand slipped over her mouth and Madison Brooks disappeared.

ONE MONTH EARLIER

ONE HYPOCRITICAL KISS

Layla Harrison could not stop fidgeting. First she sank down low in her beach chair, burying her feet deep into the sand, then she wiggled upright again until the canvas bit into her shoulders, before finally giving up and squinting toward the ocean where her boyfriend, Mateo, waited for the next decent wave. A tedious pursuit that never failed to supply him with an endless stream of happiness she could not understand.

As much as she loved him, and she did (hell, he was so cute and sexy and sweet, she’d be crazy not to), after spending the last three hours dodging the sun under her giant umbrella while struggling to write a decent piece that contained the right dose of humor and snark, she wished Mateo would call it a day and start the long paddle in.

Clearly he had no clue how crazy uncomfortable it was to sit for hours on end in the rickety, ancient beach chair he’d loaned her, and how could he? It wasn’t like he ever used it. He was always out on his board, looking Zen and gorgeous and completely at peace, while Layla did all that she could to blot out the splendors of Malibu. The giant umbrella she hid under was just the beginning.

Beneath the bulky hoodie and the extra towel she’d placed over her knees, she wore a thick layer of sunblock, and of course she’d never venture outside without her oversize sunglasses and the crumpled straw fedora Mateo had brought back from a recent surf trip to Costa Rica.

For Mateo, Layla’s ritual of blocking and shielding was futile at best. You can’t master the environment, he’d say. You have to respect it, honor it, play by its rules. It’s madness to think you’re in charge—nature always gets the last word.

Easy to say when your skin is immune to sunburns and you were practically raised on a surfboard.

She returned to her laptop and frowned. Writing a cheesy celebrity gossip blog was a long way from the New York Times byline she dreamed of, but she had to start somewhere.

Arrested Development

No, I’m not referring to the too-smart-for-network-what-were-they-thinking cult comedy (insert I’m-surrounded-by-idiots sigh), I’m talking about actual arrested development, people. The kind you can read about in your Psych 101 books (for those of you who actually read anything other than gossip blogs and Twitter feeds). The kind yours truly witnessed last night at Le Château, when three of Hollywood’s youngest and hottest, but certainly not brightest, decided olives were for more than just aimlessly lolling at the bottom of a martini glass—

“You still at it?” Mateo stood before her, board tucked under his shoulder, feet sinking into the sand.

“Just doing some last-minute edits,” she mumbled, watching as he dropped his board on the towel, swiped a hand through his sun- and salt-water-streaked hair, and unzipped his wet suit. He peeled it so far down his torso Layla couldn’t help but gulp at the absolute speech-defying wonder of seeing her beautiful boyfriend bared and glistening before her.

In a town teeming with oversize egos, a surplus of vanity, and a cult of body-obsessed green juice devotees, Mateo’s obliviousness to his natural good looks was so rare, most of the time Layla couldn’t imagine what he saw in such a pale and cynical slip of a girl like herself.

“Can I help?” He reached for her water bottle, looking as though he’d like nothing more than to read her take on three martini-fueled A-list celebrities reenacting their former high school cafeteria hijinks by chucking olives at everyone around them.

Typical Mateo. He’d been like that from the first night she’d met him, just a little over two years ago, on her six-teenth birthday. Both of them had been amazed to discover they were born just a year and ten days apart, and yet their birthdays still managed to make them different (and mostly opposing) astrological signs.

Mateo was a Sagittarius, which made him a free-spirited dreamer.

Layla was a Capricorn, which made her ambitious and a wee bit controlling—if you believed in those things, which of course Layla didn’t. It was just some weird coincidence that in their case was true.

She handed over the laptop and sank deeper into her seat. Hearing Mateo read her work aloud was her own personal version of crack.

It was good for her process. Helped her edit and hone. But Layla had enough self-awareness to know that when it came to her writing, she was the world’s biggest praise slut, and Mateo usually found something nice to say, no matter how lame the content.

Water bottle dangling from one hand and Layla’s MacBook Air perched on the other, Mateo started to read. When he reached the end, he looked at her and said, “Is this for real?”

“I kept an olive as a souvenir.”

He narrowed his gaze as though trying to picture the celebrity food fight. “You get a picture?” He returned the laptop.

Layla shook her head, paused to make one small adjustment, then hit Save instead of the usual Send. “The Château is serious about their photo ban.”

Mateo shook his head and drained the water bottle in one steady stream as Layla continued to ogle him, feeling more than a little perverted for reducing her boyfriend to a sweet piece of eye candy. “You going to send that?” he asked. “Seems ready.”

She sank the laptop into her bag. “You know how I’ve been talking about starting my own blog, Beautiful Idols?” Her tentative gaze met his. “I’m thinking this might be the perfect launch piece.”

He shifted his stance, played with the bottle cap. “Layla, it’s a good bit.” He spoke as though he was handpicking each word. “It’s funny, and on point, but …” He shrugged, letting the silence say what he wouldn’t: it was hardly the caliber of work she was capable of.

“I know what you’re thinking.” She rushed to her own defense. “But none of the crap I write about qualifies as world-changing news, and I’m sick of working for crumbs. If I want to go it alone, I’ll have to start somewhere. And while the blog might take a while to really catch on, once it does, I can make a ton of money on the ad revenue alone. Besides, I’ve saved more than enough to hold me between now and then.”

That last part was a hasty addition that might or might not be true. But it sounded good, and it seemed to convince Mateo, since his first response was to pull her out of her chair and into his arms.

“And what exactly will you do with all that ad revenue?”

She ran a finger over his chest, stalling for time. Her dream of going to journalism school in New York was something she hadn’t yet shared, and to do so now would bring an awkward moment she’d rather avoid.

“Well, I figured the bulk of it would go toward the burrito fund.”

He grinned, circled his arms at her waist. “The recipe for a happy life—you, decent surf, and a healthy burrito fund.” He touched his lips to the tip of her nose. “Speaking of—when are you gonna let me teach you to surf?”

“Probably never.” She allowed her body to melt against his, burying her face in the crook of his neck, where she inhaled a heady base scent of ocean, sun, and deeply rooted contentment—complemented by a top note of honor, sincerity, and a life lived in balance. It was everything Layla wished she could be, but knew she would never achieve, encompassed in one single breath.

Yet despite their enormous differences, Mateo accepted her as she was. Never trying to change her or make her see things his way.

She wished she could say the same.

When he tipped a finger under her chin and lowered his lips to meet hers, Layla responded like a girl who’d spent the last three hours waiting for exactly that (she had). At first the kiss was gentle, playful, Mateo’s tongue gliding with hers. Until Layla ground her hips against his, returning his embrace with a passion that saw him groaning her name.

“Layla … jeez …” The words were a blur on his lips. “What do you say we find a place to continue this?”

She curled her leg around his, pulling him closer, as close as her denim cutoffs and his wet suit allowed. Aware of nothing more than the heat spiraling throughout the length of her body as his hands slipped under her hoodie. So drunk with his touch she’d gladly drag him down to the warm golden sand and straddle him there. Luckily, Mateo had sense enough to pull away before she got them arrested.

“If we hurry, we can have the house to ourselves.” His grin was loose. His eyes heavy and glazed.

“No, thanks.” Layla pushed him away, quickly losing the mood. “That last time Valentina nearly walked in, the panic I experienced shortened my life by a decade. I can’t risk that again.”

“So you live to one forty instead of one fifty.” He shrugged, tried to pull her back to him, but Layla stayed put. “I like to think that it’s worth it.”

“Easy for you to say, Mr. Zen Master.” It was one of her many nicknames for him. “Let’s go to my place. It’s free of little sisters, and even if my dad’s in the studio, it’s not like he’ll bother us. He’s really into his newest series of paintings, not that I’ve seen them. I’m just glad he’s working. It’s been forever since he last sold a piece.”

Mateo cringed. Obviously he still wanted to be with her, but all it took was the mention of her dad for his own enthusiasm to wane.

“I can’t get used to that.” He busied himself with packing their stuff, pulling the umbrella apart, and sliding it into its bag. “It’s too weird.”

“Only for you. Don’t forget Dad’s a self-described open-minded bohemian who believes in free expression. And more important, he trusts me. And he likes you. Thinks you’re a calming influence.”

She cracked a smile. It was undeniably true. Then, tossing her bag over her shoulder, she headed for Mateo’s black Jeep, where she plucked a flyer from under his wiper blades and read: Promote with Ira Redman’s Unrivaled Nightlife Company this summer for a chance to win an unbelievable cash prize.

Her interest was instantly piqued.

She’d had her sights on journalism school in New York since her junior year of high school, and while she was thrilled to have been accepted, there was no chance of attending when the staggering tuition, not to mention the high cost of city living, was like a brick wall blocking her way. And with her dad’s current financial slump lasting longer than usual, asking him for help was out of the question.

While her mom could easily provide whatever amount Layla might need (correction: her mom’s wealthy husband could provide; Layla’s mom was just another Santa Monica zombie shuffling between Soul Cycle and Drybar), the fact was Layla and her mom hadn’t spoken for years, and Layla had no plans to start.

As for Mateo—his job as a surf butler at some of the pricier beachfront hotels didn’t pay much (not that Layla would accept his help if it did). Not to mention she’d yet to fill him in on that particular goal—mostly because he’d insist on joining her, and as nice as it would be to have him around, he’d only end up distracting her. Mateo didn’t share her ambition, and sweet as he was, Layla refused to be yet another female who let a cute boy keep her from achieving her dreams.

She scanned the flyer again—a job like that could be just what she needed. The exposure to the Hollywood club scene would give her way better material, and who knew where it could lead?

Mateo leaned past her shoulder and tugged the flyer from her hands. “Tell me you’re not interested in this.” He swung around to better see her, his brown eyes narrowed as Layla bit her lip in response, unwilling to admit it was the most exciting thing to happen all day (other than that kiss on the beach). “Babe, trust me, you don’t want to get involved in this.” His voice was stern in a way she rarely heard. “The club scene is sketchy at best. You remember what happened to Carlos.”

She dropped her gaze to her sand-covered feet. She was overcome with shame at having forgotten about Mateo’s older brother, who’d OD’d right outside a club on Sunset Boulevard, not unlike River Phoenix collapsing in front of the Viper Room, except for the fact that nobody built a shrine in his honor. Aside from his immediate family, no one had even stopped to mourn. By the time Carlos died, he was so far gone the only friends he had left were drug dealers—none of whom bothered to go to his funeral. It was the greatest tragedy of Mateo’s life. As a kid, he’d totally idolized his brother.

But what if this was the perfect way to honor Carlos—maybe even vindicate him?

She reached for Mateo, her fingers grazing his arm before falling back to her side. “What happened to Carlos was the worst kind of tragedy, because it could’ve been avoided,” she said. “But maybe the best way to draw attention to Carlos and other kids like him is to expose what really goes on in that world. A gig like this would allow me to do that.”

Mateo frowned. She was going to have to try harder than that.

She stared at the flyer still clutched in his hands, knowing in her gut she was right. Mateo’s resistance only made her more determined. “I hate our celebrity-worshipping culture as much as you do. And I totally agree the whole club scene is one major sleaze fest. But wouldn’t you rather I do something to shine a light on all that? Doesn’t that beat sitting around and complaining?”

While he didn’t necessarily agree, he wasn’t arguing either. A small victory she was happy to claim.

“I have no illusions I’ll win the competition. Hell, I don’t even care about that. But if I can just get in on the game, I’ll have all the necessary ammo to reveal that world for the fraud that it is. If I can get just one kid to stop hero-worshipping those shallow, needy, undeserving assholes—if I can convince just one teen that the club scene is seedy, dangerous, and better avoided—then my job will be done.”

Mateo gazed at the ocean, studying the horizon for a long while. Something about seeing him in profile, shadowed by the fading rays of the sun, softened her heart. He loved her. He only wanted what was best for her, including keeping her far from the world that had claimed his brother. But as much as she loved him, she would not let him win.

He lingered on the postcard-perfect view of the sun dipping toward the ocean before turning to face her. “I can’t stand the thought of you getting mixed up in all that.” He clenched his fist, causing the flyer to crumple loudly. “That whole world’s a lie, and Ira has a well-earned reputation as the worst kind of scumbag who doesn’t give a shit about the kids who’ve made him rich. He only cares about himself. They dumped Carlos outside and let him die on the street so they wouldn’t have to call the ambulance and shut down the club for the night. Though you can bet they didn’t hesitate to benefit from the scandal.”

“But that wasn’t Ira’s club.”

“It’s all the same. Carlos was a smart kid, and look what happened to him. I can’t let that to happen to you.”

“I’m not Carlos.” The instant she said it, she was filled with regret. She’d do anything to pull the words back from the ether and swallow them whole.

“Meaning?”

She paused, not entirely sure how to explain without offending him further. “I’m going in with a purpose, a goal—”

“There are other, better ways to do that.”

“Name one.” She tilted her chin, hoping to convey with a look that she loved him but they’d reached a dead end.

Mateo tossed the flyer into the nearest can and propped the passenger door open as though that was the end of it.

But it wasn’t.

Not even close.

She’d already memorized the website and phone number.

She inched closer. She hated when they argued, and besides, there was really no point. She’d already made her decision. The less he knew about it going forward, the better.

Knowing exactly how to distract him, she ran her hands up the length of his thigh. Refusing to stop until his lids dropped, his breath deepened, and he’d forgotten she was ever interested in promoting Ira Redman’s clubs.

TWO WHILE MY GUITAR GENTLY WEEPS

“C’mon, bro—you gotta weigh in. We won’t leave until you do.”

Tommy glanced up from the copy of Rolling Stone he’d been reading and shot a bored glance at the two garage-band wannabes standing before him. Four and a half hours into his eight-hour shift and he’d yet to sell so much as a single guitar pick. Unfortunately, these two wouldn’t change that.

“Electric or acoustic?” they asked, voices overlapping.

Tommy lingered on a pic of Taylor Swift’s mile-long legs before flipping the page and devoting equal time to Beyoncé. “There’s no right or wrong,” he finally said.

“That’s what you always say.” The one in the beanie eyed him suspiciously.

“And yet, you keep asking.” Tommy frowned, wondering how long they’d persist before they moved on.

“Dude—you are like seriously the worst salesperson ever.” This came from the one wearing the Green Day Dookie T-shirt, who might’ve been named Ethan, but Tommy couldn’t be sure.

Tommy pushed the magazine aside. “How would you know? You’ve never once tried to buy anything.”

The two friends stood side by side, both of them rolling their eyes.

“Is commission the only thing you care about?”

“Are you really that big of a capitalist?”

Tommy shrugged. “When the rent’s due, everyone’s a capitalist.”

“You gotta have a preference,” Beanie Boy said, unwilling to let it go.

Tommy glanced between them, wondering how much longer he could put them off. They dropped in at least once a week, and though Tommy always acted like their incessant questions and attention-seeking antics annoyed him, most days they provided the only entertainment in an otherwise boring job.

But he was serious about the rent. Which meant he had no patience for bored little punks wasting his time, only to leave without buying so much as a single sheet of music.

The gig was commission based, and if he wasn’t actively selling, Tommy figured his time was better spent either thumbing through unsold copies of Rolling Stone and dreaming of the day he’d grace the cover, or scouring the web for gigs—minimum effort for minimum wage, seemed fair to him.

“Electric,” he finally said, surprised by the stunned silence that followed.

“Yes!” Dookie Boy pumped his fist as though Tommy’s opinion mattered.

It was unnerving the way they looked up to him. Especially when he wasn’t exactly living a life worth admiring.

“Why?” Beanie Boy demanded, clearly offended.

Tommy reached for the acoustic the kid was holding and strummed the opening riff of Deep Purple’s “Smoke on the Water.”

“Hear that?”

The kid nodded cautiously.

Tommy returned the guitar and reached for the electric twelve-string he’d been eyeing from the moment he started working at Farrington’s. The one he’d be a lot closer to owning if one of these punks ever decided to make themselves useful and actually buy something.

He played the same piece as the kids leaned toward him. “It’s louder, fuller, brighter. But that’s just me. Don’t go acting like it’s gospel or anything.”

“That was good, bro. You should think about joining our band.”

Tommy laughed, ran an appreciative hand over the neck of the guitar before returning it to its hook. “So, which one you gonna buy?” He glanced between them.

“All of ‘em!” Dookie Boy grinned. He reminded Tommy of himself at that age—a lethal mix of insecure and cocky.

“Yeah, as soon as he sells his MILF porn collection on eBay!” Beanie Boy laughed and ran for the door as his friend gave chase, shouting insults that weren’t nearly as good as the one he’d been served.

Tommy watched them exit, the small silver bell attached to the handle jangling behind them, relieved to finally have some time to himself.

Not that he disliked his customers—Farrington’s Vintage Guitar was known for attracting a pretty specific, music-obsessed crowd, but it wasn’t exactly the job he’d envisioned when he first arrived in LA. He had some serious skills, all of which were going to waste. If things didn’t pick up, he’d have no choice but to track those kids down and beg for an audition.

Aside from playing the guitar, he could also sing. Not that anyone gave a shit. His last attempt to book some steady solo gigs was a fail. The hundred or so flyers he’d plastered around town (prominently featuring a picture of him in faded low-slung jeans with his guitar strapped across his bare chest) gleaned only two hits. One from some pervert asking him to “audition” (the sick giggle that followed had Tommy seriously considering changing his number), and an actual gig at a local coffee shop that seemed promising, until his original stuff was quashed by the manager, who insisted he play nothing but acoustic covers of John Mayer’s biggest hits for a full three hours. At least he’d managed to make a fan of the fortysomething blond who’d passed him a crumpled napkin with her hotel and room number scribbled in red, winking as she sashayed (no other way to describe it) out the door, sure that he’d follow.

He didn’t.

Though he had to admit he’d been tempted. It’d been a bleak six months since he’d arrived in LA, and she was damn good-looking. Fit too, judging by the dress that hugged every curve. And though he appreciated her directness, and while her body probably really was a wonderland, he couldn’t deal with the thought of being no more than an interesting diversion for a woman who’d grown bored with men her own age.

More than anything, Tommy wanted to be taken seriously.

It was the reason he moved halfway across the country with the entirety of his worldly possessions (a dozen or so T-shirts, some broken-in jeans, a turntable that once belonged to his mom, his prized vinyl collection, a pile of paperbacks, and a secondhand six-string guitar) shoved in the trunk of his car.

Sure, he figured it might take some time to get settled, but the shortage of gigs was never part of the plan.

Neither was the job hawking guitars, but at least he could tell his mom he was working in the music industry.

He turned the page of his magazine, only to see a full-page article praising the Strypes (fuckin’ sixteen-year-olds poised to take over the world—making Tommy wonder if he’d peaked two years ago and missed it entirely).

When the door clanged open, Tommy was glad for the distraction, only to see some rich bastard who looked totally out of place among all the Jimi Hendrix, Eric Clapton, and B. B. King posters slapped on the walls. His designer jeans and T-shirt alone probably cost more than Tommy made in a week. Never mind the suede blazer, flashy gold watch, and spendy-looking loafers—most likely handmade by craftsmen in Italy—that probably cost more than all of Tommy’s possessions combined, including his car.

Lifestyle tourist.

Los Feliz was full of ‘em. Rich, wannabe hipsters, ducking in and out of the area’s numerous cafés, galleries, and eccentric boutiques, hoping to glean a little street cred they could haul back to their Beverly Hills hood and impress all their friends with tales of their journey to the wild side.

Tommy frowned and flipped past the article. Reading about the Strypes was bringing him down.

Waiting for the customer to complete his obligatory walk around, maybe even ask for a card (they made great souvenirs—proved you really were there!), was also bringing him down.

But unlike the Strypes, this guy would eventually pass through Tommy’s life. Whereas every band in that magazine seemed to mock him, making him realize just how big a fail his move to LA had become.

Figuring he should exert a little effort and acknowledge the pretentious asshole invading his space, he started to speak when the words caught in his throat and he found himself ogling like the worst kind of groupie.

It was Ira.

Ira Redman.

The überconnected, big-shot owner of Unrivaled Nightlife, who also happened to be Tommy’s father.

Though the father bit was really more a technicality. Ira was more of a sperm donor than an actual dad.

For one thing, he had no idea Tommy existed.

Then again, up until Tommy’s eighteenth birthday, Tommy didn’t know about Ira either. He’d believed the story his mother told him about his war-hero dad who’d died before his time. It was only by chance he learned the truth. But once he did, his fate was sealed. Much to his mother’s (and grandparents’, and ex-girlfriend’s, and counselor’s) dismay, he took the money he’d saved for college, graduated early from high school, and headed straight for LA.

He’d had it all planned. First he’d find a great apartment (a shithole in Hollywood), then he’d score an awesome job (Farrington’s was severely lacking in awesome), and then, armed with all the details he’d gathered about his father courtesy of Google, Wikipedia, and an archived issue of Maxim, he’d track down Ira Redman and confront him like the independent, deserving young man that he was.

What he didn’t expect was how completely intimidated he felt just being in Ira’s vicinity.

Shortly after he’d first arrived in LA, he found and followed Ira, watching from the cracked windshield of the clunker that seemed cool in Tulsa and so offensive in LA that even the valet parkers sneered when they saw it. Tommy saw the dismissive yet entitled way Ira left his chauffeur-driven Escalade at the curb and strode into the restaurant like a man who consumed power rather than food. His grim, all-seeing gaze was cloaked in a calculated ruthlessness that immediately convinced Tommy he was out of his league.

The reunion fantasy that had fueled the drive from OK to CA instantly evaporated into the Los Angeles smog, as Tommy made his escape, vowing to make a name for himself before he tried that again.

And now, there he was. Ira Redman sucking down oxygen like he owned controlling shares in that too.

“Hey,” Tommy mumbled, hiding his hands under the counter so Ira wouldn’t see the way they shook in his presence, though the tremor in his voice surely gave him away. “What’s up?”

The question was simple enough, but Ira chose to turn it into a moment. An awkward moment. Or at least it was awkward for Tommy. Ira seemed content to just stand there, his gaze fixed like he was assessing Tommy’s right to exist.

Don’t flinch, don’t be the first to look away, don’t show weakness. Tommy was so focused on how not to react he nearly missed it when Ira pointed an entitled finger at the guitar just behind him.

Clearly Ira had decided to take a little time out from world conquering to indulge some latent rock star fantasy. Fine with Tommy, he needed the sell. But he’d be damned if Ira walked out with the beautiful twelve-string Tommy had mentally tagged as his own from the moment he’d strapped it across his chest and strummed the first chord.

He purposely reached for the guitar just above it, lifting it from its wall hooks, when Ira corrected him.

“No, the one right behind you. The metallic blue one.” He spoke as though it was an order. As though Tommy had no choice but to do Ira’s bidding, serve his every whim. It was unnerving. Degrading. And it made Tommy even more resentful of Ira than he already was.

“It’s not for sale.” Tommy tried to direct Ira to another, but he wasn’t having it.

His navy-blue eyes, the same shade as Tommy’s, narrowed in focus as his jaw hardened much like Tommy’s did when attempting a piece of music he’d been struggling to interpret. “Everything’s for sale.” Ira studied Tommy with an intensity that made Tommy squirm. “It’s just a matter of negotiating the price.”

“Maybe so, bro.” Bro? He called Ira Redman bro? Before he could linger on that for too long, Tommy was quick to add, “But that one’s mine, and it stays mine.”

Ira’s steely gaze fixed on Tommy’s. “That’s too bad. Still, mind if I have a look?”

Tommy hesitated, which seemed kind of dumb, since it wasn’t like Ira was gonna steal it. And yet it required every ounce of his will to hand the piece over and watch as Ira balanced it in his hands as though expecting the weight to reveal something important. When he strapped it over his chest and assumed some ridiculous, pseudo-guitar-god stance, laughing in this loud, inclusive way like they were both in on the joke, Tommy had to fight the urge to hurl right then and there.

The sight of Ira manhandling his dream had him sweating straight through his Jimmy Page T-shirt. And the way he dragged it out, pretending to do a thorough inspection when he clearly had no idea what to look for, made it clear Ira was putting on some kind of show.

But why?

Was that how bored rich people entertained themselves?

“It’s a beautiful piece.” He returned the instrument as Tommy, relieved to have it safely out of Ira’s possession, propped it back against the wall. “I can see why you’d want to own it. Though I’m not convinced you do.”

Tommy’s back stiffened.

“The way you handle it …” Ira placed both hands on the counter, his manicured fingers splayed, his gold watch gleaming like a cruel taunt, as if to say, This is the life you could’ve had—one of great privilege and wealth, where you’d get to harass wannabe rock gods and piss all over their dreams just for the fun of it. “You handle it with too much reverence for it to be yours. You’re not comfortable with it. It’s a part from you, rather than a part of you.”

Tommy pressed his lips together. Shifted his weight from foot to foot. He had no idea how to reply. Though he’d no doubt the whole thing was a test he had just failed.

“You handle that guitar like it’s a girl you can’t believe you get to fuck, rather than the girlfriend you’ve grown used to fucking.” Ira laughed, displaying a mouthful of capped teeth—shiny white soldiers standing in perfect formation. “So how ‘bout I double whatever it is you think you could pay for it?” His laughter died as quickly as it started.

Tommy shook his head and stared at his trashed motorcycle boots, which, in Ira’s presence, no longer seemed cool. The treads were shot. The shank was gashed. It was like his favorite boots had suddenly turned on him, reminding him of the enormous gap yawning between him and his dream. Still, it beat looking at Ira, who clearly considered Tommy a fool.

“Okay, triple then.”

Tommy refused to acknowledge the offer. Ira was insane. The whole scene was insane. He was rumored to be a relentless negotiator, but all this—over a guitar? From everything he’d read about him, the only music Ira cared about was the song that played during last call when he collected the money from his various clubs.

“You drive a tough bargain.” Ira laughed, but it wasn’t a real laugh. The tone was way off.

And it wasn’t like Tommy had to actually look at him to know that his eyes had gone squinty, his mouth wide, his chin lifted in that arrogant way that he had. He’d seen plenty of photos of Ira being the inauthentic, entitled bastard he was. He’d memorized them all.

“So what if I quadruple my offer, hand over my credit card, and you hand over the guitar? I’m assuming you work on commission? Hard to pass on an offer like that.”

Clearly Ira had pegged him for the rent-hungry wannabe he was, and yet Tommy still held his ground.

The guitar was his.

Or at least it would be just as soon as he collected a few more paychecks.

And while it was definitely a risky move to deny Ira Redman, Tommy watched as he finally gave up and exited the store as arrogantly as he’d entered.

Tommy clasped the guitar to his chest, hardly able to believe he’d almost lost it. If he could just make it through the next few months, he’d have enough saved to make it officially his. Sooner if he went on a hunger strike.

And that was how Ira found him—standing behind the smudgy glass counter, embracing his dream guitar like a lover.

“Farrington wants a word.” Ira pressed his phone on Tommy, who had no other choice but to take it.

Who knew Ira and Farrington were friends?

Or better yet, who didn’t know Ira had an in with the owner?

Fuckin’ Ira knew everyone.

The conversation might have been brief, but it was no less humiliating, with Farrington ordering Tommy to sell Ira the guitar at the original price. There might also have been a mention about Tommy losing his job, but Tommy was already returning the phone, reducing Farrington’s angry rant into a distant muffled squawk.

Fighting back tears too ridiculous to cry, Tommy forfeited the guitar. Hell, he hadn’t even cried the night he’d said good-bye to Amy, the girlfriend he’d been with for the last two years.

He could not, would not, cry for a guitar.

And he definitely wouldn’t cry over his father making him look like a fool, showing just how insignificant he was in the world.

Someday he’d show him, prove his worth, and make Ira regret the day he walked into Farrington’s.

He didn’t know how, but he would. He was more determined than ever.

With the guitar in Ira’s possession (paid for with his Amex Black card, which probably had a gazillion-dollar limit), Ira shot Tommy one last appraising look before pulling a folded piece of paper from his inside jacket pocket and sliding it across the counter. “Nice try, kid.” He made for the door, guitar strapped over his shoulder. “Maybe you could have bought it sooner if you worked for me.”

THREE REASONS TO BE BEAUTIFUL

Aster Amirpour closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and slipped beneath the water’s surface until the bubbles covered her head and the outside world disappeared. If she had to choose a happy place, this would be it. Cocooned within the warm embrace of her Jacuzzi, free of the burden of parental expectations, along with the weight of their disapproving gaze.

No wonder she’d favored mermaids over princesses as a kid.

It was only when her lungs squeezed in protest that she sprang to the surface. Blinking water from her eyes, she pushed her hair from her face, allowing it to fall in long, dark ribbons that flowed to her waist, and adjusted the straps of her Burberry bikini—the one that took a month to convince her mom to buy, and then another month to convince her to let her wear it, and then only within the walled-in confines of their yard.

“All I see is four tiny triangles and a handful of very flimsy strings!” Her mother had dangled the offending pieces by the tip of her index finger, looking as though she’d been scandalized by the sight of it.

Inwardly, Aster rolled her eyes. Wasn’t that the whole point of rocking a bikini—to display as much gorgeous young flesh as possible while you still had gorgeous young flesh to display?

God forbid she wore something that might be considered highly immodest within the confines of her Tehrangeles neighborhood.

“But it’s Burberry!” Aster had pleaded, trying to appeal to her mother’s own high-end shopping addiction. When it didn’t help, she went on to add, “What if I promise to only wear it at home?” She eyeballed her mother, trying to get a read, but her mom’s face remained as imperious as ever. “What if I promise to only wear it at home when I’m the only one there?”

Her mother had stood silently before her, weighing the merits of a promise Aster had no intention of keeping. The whole thing was ridiculous. Aster was eighteen years old! She should be able to buy her own stuff by now, but her parents liked to keep as tight a rein on her spending as they did on her comings and goings.

As far as getting a job and financing her own bikinis—Aster knew better than to broach that particular subject. Other than the rare exception of a random lawyer here, a famed pediatrician there, the females in Aster’s family tree didn’t work outside the home. They did what was expected—they married, raised a family, shopped, lunched, and chaired the occasional charity gala—all the while pretending to be fulfilled, but Aster wasn’t buying it.

What was the point of going to those impressive Ivy League schools if that expensive education would never be put to good use?

It was a question Aster had asked only once. The steely gaze she received in return warned her to never speak of it again.

While Aster loved her family with all her heart, while she would do anything for them—heck, she’d even die for them if it came to that—she absolutely, resolutely, would not live for them.

It was too much to ask.

She inhaled a deep breath, about to take another plunge, when her cell phone chimed, and she shot out of the Jacuzzi so fast, she had to yank her bikini bottom back into place when the water threatened to drag it right off.

Seeing her agent’s name on the display, she crossed her fingers, tapped the gold and diamond hamsa pendant (a gift from her grandmother) for luck, and answered the call, trying to convey a capacity for great emotional depth in a single hello.

“Aster!” Her agent’s voice burst through the speaker. “I’ve got an interesting offer to run by you. Is now a good time?”

He was calling about the audition. She’d put her whole heart and soul into it, and clearly it had worked. “This is about the commercial, right? When do they want me to start?” Before Jerry could answer, she was envisioning how she’d break the news to her parents.

They were in Dubai for the summer, but she’d still have to tell them, and they were going to freak. She’d dreamed of becoming a world-famous actress since she was a kid, always begging her mom to take her on auditions, but her parents had other ideas. From the moment that first ultrasound revealed Aster was a girl, she was groomed to meet a set of expectations that seemed simple enough: be pretty, be sweet, get good grades, and keep her legs firmly crossed until she married the Perfect Persian Boy of her parents’ choosing the day after she graduated college, only to start producing Perfect Persian Babies a respectable ten months later.

While Aster had nothing against marriage and babies, she was committed to delaying those dream stallers for as long as she could. And now that her big break had arrived, she was determined to dive in headfirst.

“This isn’t about the commercial.”

Aster blinked, clutched the phone tighter, sure she’d misheard.

“They decided to go another way.”

Aster’s mind raced back to that day. Hadn’t she convinced the director that completely foul cereal was the best-tasting thing she’d ever put in her mouth?

“They’re going ethnic.”

“But I’m ethnic!”

“A different ethnic. Aster, listen, I’m sorry, but these things happen.”

“Do they? Or do they just happen to me? I’m either too ethnic, or the wrong ethnic, or—remember that time they said I was too pretty? As if there was such a thing.”

“There will be plenty of auditions,” he said. “Remember what I told you about Sugar Mills?”

Aster rolled her eyes. Sugar Mills was her agent’s most successful client. A no-talent pseudo celebrity discovered on Instagram thanks to the staggering number of people with nothing better to do than follow the daily adventures of Sugar’s Photoshopped body parts. Because of it, she’d snagged some high-profile commercial eating a big sloppy burger while wearing a tiny bikini, which inexplicably led to a role in an upcoming movie playing some old guy’s wildly inappropriate much younger girlfriend. Just thinking about it made Aster simultaneously sick and insanely jealous.

“I assume you’ve heard of Ira Redman?” Jerry said, breaking the silence.

Aster frowned and lowered herself back into the water, until the bubbles rose up to her shoulders. “Who hasn’t?” she snapped, feeling more than a little annoyed at a system that celebrated girls like Sugar Mills and wouldn’t give Aster a chance, even though she was a much classier act. “But unless Ira’s decided to get in on the movie biz—”

“Ira isn’t making movies. Or at least not yet.” Jerry spoke like he knew Ira personally, when Aster was willing to bet that he didn’t. “Though he is running a contest for club promoters.”

She closed her eyes. This was bad. Very bad. She braced herself for whatever came next.

“If you make the cut, you’ll spend the summer promoting one of Ira’s clubs. Which, as you probably know, are frequented by some of Hollywood’s biggest players. The exposure will be great, and there’s money in it for the winner.” He paused, allowing the words to sink in, while Aster fought to keep her disappointment in check.

She climbed out of the Jacuzzi. The heat of the water combined with the heat of her humiliation was unbearable. Preferring to finish the call barefoot, wet, and shivering, she said, “It sounds shady. And sleazy. And low class. And desperate. And just overall beneath me.”

She gazed toward her house—an over-the-top, sprawling Mediterranean-style monument to her family’s wealth with its tennis courts, covered loggias, big cherub-adorned fountains, and rolling manicured lawns. Wealth that would one day be hers and her brother Javen’s, provided they followed her parents’ strict and uninspiring plans for their lives.

She was tired of the way they tried to leverage her inheritance. Tired of the emotional turmoil they caused by insisting she choose between pleasing them and living her dreams. Well, screw it. She was done pretending. She wanted what she wanted and her parents would just have to deal. And if Jerry thought this was a good career move, then clearly it was time to cut ties and move on. There had to be another way. Someone to better guide her career. Problem was, Jerry had been the only agent out of a very long list who’d been willing to meet with her.

“You’re wrong about Ira,” he said. “He’s a class act, and his clubs attract the cream of the crop. You ever been to one?”

“I just turned eighteen.” She was annoyed at having to remind him. As her agent, he should’ve known that.

“Yeah.” He laughed. “As if that ever stopped anyone. C’mon, Aster, I know you’re not as innocent as you like to pretend.”

She frowned, unable to establish whether he’d just said something completely inappropriate, or if he was just calling it like he saw it. She was used to the way men reacted to her. Even much older men, men who should know better. But apparently it would take more than smooth skin, long legs, and the kind of blessed bone structure that photographed well to earn her a SAG card.

“So, you’re seriously trying to convince me that being a nightclub hostess will help my career as an actress?”

“Club promoter. For Ira Redman, no less.”

“Why not just take pictures of my butt and post them on Instagram? It worked for Sugar.”

“Aster.” For the first time since the conversation began, Jerry was running out of patience.

Well, he wasn’t the only one. But Aster was smart enough, and just desperate enough, to know when to fold.

“So, how does this work? You going to claim ten percent?”

“What? No!” He barked, like she’d said something crazy. As though that wasn’t an agent’s main role. “I know how tough it is to catch a break, and I really think you’ve got something, which is the only reason I signed you. This gig with Ira will get you in front of more influential people in one night than twenty auditions put together. If you truly believe the road to fame is beneath you, then maybe you don’t want it as much as you claim.”

She wanted it. She plucked a towel from a nearby lounge chair and wrapped it loosely around her. And while it clearly wasn’t the same as scoring the lead role (or any role), she had to start somewhere.

Besides, Jerry was right; everyone knew Ira’s clubs attracted loads of Hollywood types, and in a town full of gorgeous young girls, all of them fueled on the same dream of fortune and fame, this could be just the thing Aster needed to help her get noticed for the find that she was.

Trying to drum up a modicum of enthusiasm she didn’t yet feel, she headed for the pool house and said, “Let me grab a pen so I can jot down the details.”

Ücretsiz ön izlemeyi tamamladınız.

₺233,08
Yaş sınırı:
0+
Litres'teki yayın tarihi:
13 mayıs 2019
Hacim:
301 s. 2 illüstrasyon
ISBN:
9780008185503
Telif hakkı:
HarperCollins

Benzer kitaplar