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3. March 2005

n the 15th of March we started at 12:30 from the military section of the airport of Cologne/Bonn in an Airbus of the Luftwaffe (German Airforce) to our layover in Termez, Uzbekistan (/اوزبيكيستان ترمز).

At 21:30 we landed on its airport. Whoever thought he could finally get off the plane was immediately disappointed. The door opened and an Usbek official came in. Accompanied by one of the German Airforce ground crew guys he collected all our military IDs, saying this was a regular procedure to check if the incoming personnel matches with the reported list and that we would get our IDs back when we proceed to our flight on the following morning. One of the guys being deployed for the second time turned over to me, smiled and said that they going to copy them now and forward the data to the Russians. I laughed and said:

"You´re joking, right?"

He laughed back and said:

"No!"

Actually, that was a well-known fact.

Once they had all our IDs, we were allowed to leave the plane and walk over to the so called transit camp which was located only 200 meters away from the runway. It was dark and humid. We were led to the tent area where we could buy a Coke and a more or less warm sausage for dinner. Then we went to our declared tents. Thank god they had air-conditioning, so that we were able to get some rest for at least a few hours. According to local time it was 0100 when we laid down. So it was a short night, because at 0430 we had already boarded again, this time a C-160 Transall on a direct flight to KUNDUZ (کندوز). We had to start that early because later in the morning the temperatures would rise to an unbearable degree. Too hot for the Airforce to fly.

It is 0500 local afghan time at KUNDUZ airport or what those people call to be an airport. The main building was a ruin and the tower looked everything but stable. The first thing drawing my attention were the rays of sun right above the tower and the remains of two destroyed combat helicopters left by the Russians when they withdrew 1989.

We were picked up with some jeeps and Mungos (an ugly tiny military transportation vehicle which was actually concepted as a street cleaning vehicle) and brought to the main base. My first impressions of the country were overwhelming. I sat next to the driver of the Mungo and watched how the life in and around KUNDUZ began the day.

Then suddenly I was hit by a negative feeling. I saw all those children with their small barrows carrying those yellow canisters. Immediately the words of that officer came to my mind when he warned us about these canisters. Could these little children really be assassins? Those with their yellow canisters? But not only they had those canisters. There were yellow canisters everywhere! In each corner. In front of every store. Beside every single road.

The next thing I recognized where all those children working on the fields along the road. Considering that awful crazy heat it was hard to watch. Later I found out that almost all children have to get up very early in the morning to work on the fields together with their parents. Afterwards they go to school and return to the fields in the evening to work again. Like in Germany back then children had to help their parents with their work to assure the families survival, but nowadays this would be far from every imagination. Over here it is still everyday life.

The PRT at the northern afghan provincial capital KUNDUZ was founded by the US forces and was taken over by the Bundeswehr in October 2003. The official tasks of the german-run PRT were:

Support of the official structures of the central afghan government in the provinces of KUNDUZ and TAKHAR in all kinds of aspects.

Different from the time when the PRT was led by the US forces there were also civil officials from Germany present, such as the ministry of foreign

affairs, the ministry of interior as well as the ministry of economical cooperation and development who worked very close together with the German military. The camp was guarded and secured by afghan security forces.

Arriving at the camp we were met by our predecessors at the so-called market, which is the central place of the camp and then brought to our quarters where we would stay for the next eight days of our introduction.

The next morning we placed our luggage, which actually consisted only of our combat back pack, on the field beds and went for breakfast. In front of the canteen tent there was a hand washing installation. Hygiene was elementary in the camp. In a country with almost no sanitary infrastructure, the dust of feces is permanently present in the air. At noon it was the worst. No one who was not deployed there can even imagine the smell. A good protection those days was the Kufiya, the typical head scarf which I used to spray with orange perfume and wrapped it around my mouth and nose to avoid breathing in that sickening feces dust. Of course, you were not 100 percent save using this but it helped to make it through the day.

Afghan security forces at work

Entering the canteen, we were just amazed by the variety of all the tasty looking foods that were on offer. It was even more and so much better than in the facilities back home! Fresh fruits, fresh baked bread, cheese, ham, scrambled eggs and even freshly brewed coffee. After having breakfast, the COY commander showed us the most important stations in the camp such as the location of the sections J1 to J6 of which J6 for example was responsible for the whole IT infrastructure of the camp and its forces. After that we visited the security COY. Later that day I got to meet with a SGT 1st class of the COY. His name was Christian S. and his task was to show us around and teach us about the way of life in the camp. We got along with each other quite well from the very first day and spend a lot of time together during my stay.

The following days passed by fast, filled with talks and briefings with leading personnel and endless reports and evaluations. Especially the procedures of ordering and distributing of material, the supply chains and the detailed capacities of the air delivery had our main focus due to the intention to bring in much more material from Germany. Time just flew by and on the last evening before heading back home Christian and me went to the moral welfare (MW) tent to have a drink and some last words until we meet again on the 27th of June for the start of my actual mission deployment. The next morning we said goodbye at the airport where my team and I entered an CH-53 transport helicopter who brought us to TERMEZ and from where we flew back to Cologne.

flight to termez with the CH-53 helicopter

4. June 2005, Mission

n the company there was still quite some work to be done before my deployment. My additional duties were delegated to the chosen personnel that had to replace me. There was the upcoming inspection of all first aid kits as well as the checking of all defibrillators which had to be ensured while I was gone.

Normally a soldier gets about a week off before the deployment to spend time with his family and loved ones. A so called "cuddle week". In my case it was a little bit different. Even in that particular week I had to work in the company and didn´t have time off to take care of my family like all my fellow soldiers. Of course, we used the evenings after work to spend some time together. At the end my son helped me with packing my deployment box that had to be filled with all the military stuff as well as all the private things like pictures and books. As a guy from the reserve I was lucky to be allowed to fly with all my luggage, in contrast to the regular soldiers who had their additional belongings shipped weeks in advance. Their luggage was collected and flown in with mixed material and personnel air transportation mostly by Luftwaffe assets to the air logistics point in TERMEZ, Uzbekistan. From there the luggage was flown to the mission location by our C-160 Transall; the workhorse of the German Airforce. Heavier loads were flown in by chartered Ukrainian jets like the Ilyshin IL-76 or even with Antonov AN-124 which is the world`s largest cargo plane.

The time to deploy came closer incredibly fast with every day. This time we were departing not from Cologne but from Frankfurt because most of the soldiers of the 8th german mission contingent were from the south of Germany. My wife and my son accompanied me to the airport and stayed with me until I had to check in. Regardless of our farewell we all were in a good mood although we knew that we will not see each other for more than 4 months. Marco, being 7 years old that time, liked being around so many soldiers in their cool uniforms. Amazed by the moment he was more than happy to pose for photos with me and other soldiers. He played and ran around with my very close comrades Thomas K. and Rainer M. who would be my supporting staff in the J4 environment.

It was a strange feeling to leave my family all alone. The next months I´d be far away and wouldn´t be able to be there for them. But due to the new impressions and experiences the life back home shifted to the back row. The mission became our primary focus. Then in the nights the thoughts about my loved ones came back to my mind and left me sleepless for quite some time. Despite all the risks and danger, I chose the mission because I considered it to be my holy duty for my country to help a threatened land and especially its people. I don´t know if my comrades felt the same way or different those days.

Shortly before the check-in I said goodbye to my wife and son. Until that moment everything felt as if I was just about to go on a vacation with my pals which I actually never did before. Which is weird somehow...I didn´t have the impression that I was going on a mission and that there might be the possibility of never coming back.

I brought my duffel bag and my box to the counter to have it checked in. The friendly guy from the ground crew offered me a nice seat in the jet and gave me my ticket. From the windows of the waiting room you could see to the runway. It was pouring with rain outside but that didn´t bother us at all.

Then it was time. The boarding began. We all drove with a shuttle bus directly to the plane. In the Airbus I sat down and immediately stretched out my legs to check if would feel comfortable with my long legs. Being 1,95 meters tall can become quite a torture on a long flight. On that seat it felt just great. The ground crew guy kept his word. When I looked out of the window it was still raining. At the same moment, over there in KUNDUZ it must be 45 degree in the shade, I thought to myself. I couldn´t stop thinking of it: Tomorrow I´ll be back there. Tomorrow I will meet Thomas in the evening and we will talk about our day and we will play "Kicker" (table football).

Finally, after all these preparations, courses and trainings we were heading to Afghanistan. I get comfortable in my seat and watch the jet filling with people. The boarding is finished quickly and the doors are closed. The Airbus rolls slowly down the runway to its starting point. I feel how the noise inside calms down. All are in their seats. I put on my headphones to listen to music. Some take pictures with their mobile phones or cameras. Everybody is relaxed. We take off on time. Next stop is Nürnberg, where we will pick up the rest of our mixed unit. This doesn´t take longer than an hour and we´re on our way again directly to Termez.

What I didn´t know that moment is that my friend and comrade Oberfeldwebel Christian S. was going to die on this day in a tragic accident. It happened while I was sitting on my flight passing over Russia´s wide country highlighted by beautiful sunshine. No one thought that two comrades would die on such a lovely day. We were landing in Termez at 2230. To make it through the few hours we had to wait for our following flight to Kunduz we were given some tea, some warm sausages and a field bed.

The next morning, we entered the Transall which departed at 0400 to bring us to our final destination. It was still dark when we took off but already an hour later we dashed down almost vertical in a 90 degree angle towards the airport of Kunduz. You need to know that the German pilots in Afghanistan have to fly relaying only on vision, map and compass due to the lack of a more modern aircraft than the C-160. These kinds of maneuvers were absolutely common these days. So everybody was literally thrown out of sleep and seat.

After the landing the sun was shining and the heat was almost killing us. A feeling as if you got hit by a wooden plank right in your face.

I am back in Kunduz. Like six weeks ago we got picked up by Mungos and various jeeps of different brands. Later I asked myself how it is possible to fall in love with a country that you don´t even know. But this country enchants me in a way that I cannot resist. Its people, the surroundings, the exotic smell on its markets and even this awful heat is a mixture to which I got addicted to very fast. It´s like someone flips the switch and the light turns on. Also, the kindness of these people and their hospitality impresses me over and over again.

Arriving at the camp we were welcomed at the "Market" but different from how it was the last time.

The Spieß and the COY commander of our predecessors led us to our provisional accommodations. It´s common that you stay in tents until your predecessors have left. Only then you can move to a solid accommodation. Later that day we picked up our luggage from the air logistics platoon which is located at the other end of the camp.

The camp is located on a big former fruit plantation. On its grounds we have trees with different kinds of fruits like lemon, oranges and figs irrigated by moats running through the whole camp. If you could ignore the hostile environment in the area around us it might feel like holidays. Together with some comrades I brought my bags and the box to my tent where I would stay for the next 14 days. Then it was time for breakfast followed by the standard official welcome of the "new guys".

Due to the short night and the long flight the day before I didn´t think a lot about my arrival. The only thought I perceived for a moment were all those flags that are hoisted on half-mast. But I was too confused by then to recognize its meaning and become upset. In my mind I was already engrossed in my in processing, a procedure every new arrival has to go through. You get a bunch of papers that have to be handed over, signed, stamped or signed by every station to receive your bullet proof west or so called bristol, your pistol, assault rifle and cleaning kit, your bed linen and all the other stuff a soldier needs. This mind grinding and annoying procedure takes you a minimum of 2 to 3 days depending on where the location of each station is at and how quickly you can get there. Of course, you also have to go through the medical check to assure that every necessary medical treatment was done back in Germany.

Later that day I had some unscheduled time, so I went over to the security COY to check if Christian might be in. I entered the tent and asked the first guy I saw if he had an idea of where Christian might be. This front office soldier looked at me kind of confused and pointed to a framed picture with a black ribbon on its left corner that showed Christian. In that moment I was just thinking: " Is that guy f*cking kidding me?!" That must be the worst joke ever. But that private just nodded and explained to me how Christian was killed 2 days ago in an accident with an ammunition truck in the vicinity of Rustack.

I am dumbfounded - I can´t feel anything - emptiness. I can´t believe it. How can Christian be gone? No talks, no hanging around at the MWR tent after duty having drinks or just watch the afghan heaven with all its stars at night and listen to the cicadas? All this should be over now?

Everybody of the new ones were shocked when hearing this tragic news. To stay at good state of mental health everyone of us had to find away cope with such a loss. I have to keep focused on my mission. For that reason, I suppressed my feelings and thoughts at that moment. For now, I have to concentrate all my energy on my duties. I say Bye to that soldier and head the direct way to my accommodation. Arriving there I can´t hold it back any longer. For the first time in my life as a soldier I am overwhelmed by feelings of fear and helplessness. I can´t hold back the tears.

I am alone in the tent. After some time I dry my

tears and take care of my documents.

An hour later I meet my boss from the J4 section, Major K. in the MWR tent. We´re discussing some topics regarding the hand over with our predecessors. During the conversation I don´t mention any word of Christian’s death. I cannot because I can´t even believe it. It just can´t be true. He is the second person I lost while being absent. First my grandma whom I was very close to. I wasn´t able to be there either when it happened. And now Christian too was dragged out of my life without giving me the chance to say good bye. How many more will I lose?

Grief in the first hours

5. Every day camp life

n the following weeks we take over the duties from our predecessors. As mentioned before, my main duty in this first mission is a logistics administrator. A job that is mainly done in front of a desk and requires an awful lot of phone calls. But at least during my inspections of the individual subunits I was able to recognize and solve issues and take care of a lack of material in direct contact with the ones in need.

Regarding our predecessors’ organisation of procedures, the ones that proved to be effective we kept. Other things were adjusted or let´s say improved to our requirements. Best example we had to face for the need of improvement was the topic fuel. Once having a closer look to the books, we found out that there was quite a difference between the amounts given out stated in the reports and the real amounts missing.

That time I got to get in touch with a LTC of the Civil Military Cooperation (CIMIC), Armin F. He was brought to Kabul just for a few weeks to replace an CIMIC Officer being on leave. It was his second deployment to Afghanistan. We got along quite well from the very first day. Like being on the same page. We even found out that both of us were stationed in the same BN back home but at different times. I got the same positive feeling with Armin like I had with Christian before.

Since Armin was doing his job mainly outside and I basically inside the camp we only had chance to catch up in the evening for a drink in the MWR tent and talk about the day. Armin had an interesting job at CIMIC and understood quickly what his major tasks were and in fact also why we were in this country and what our main goals were: To advise and help its people rebuild their land in every meaning of the word.

Armin told me about our Forward Operating Bases (FOB) and outposts which were also run with the fuel I was responsible for. We agreed on a trip to these outposts to give me the opportunity to get my own picture of the situation. Shortly after I reported this idea to my commander and received the order for a drive to KUNDUZ area. It will be my first mission outside the safe walls of the camp.

As soon as you want to leave the camp with a vehicle you need a driving order with a detailed description of the route. The reason for that is simple. The command staff need to be informed at all times which forces are moving or where they are located in order to be able to coordinate them or others if needed. Therefore, it is also mandatory to report your status every hour.

Due to Armin´s vehicle already being packed with him, two other soldiers and the interpreter (a local Afghan person who is able to translate the Afghan languages and whose background is checked by our military counter intelligence service), I had to join the convoy with my own vehicle. Before starting we had a detailed brief about the route, how to act in various threatening situations and our individual roles in case of enemy contact.

The first planned destination would be the ALIABAD outpost where the German Bundeswehr was operating together with Afghan national police. That is the first place where they use the mentioned fuel operated generators I wanted to take a look at. After that we planned to go to a printing house in POL-E-KHOMRI that was printing flyers for the upcoming elections of the afghan parliament. From there we would head back to our camp.

Next morning at 0900 we get ready to deploy. I put on my bullet proof vest, my helmet, lock and load my rifle, do a radio check and move to the vehicles waiting already with running engines. We start. The afghan guards are opening the gates and we turn on the main exit road. The holes on the way are as big as truck tires and I have to drive carefully to avoid them. The streets are full. Not filled with cars but with donkey carts. Children playing in the street holes filled with yesterdays’ rain. "Wow, what a cool pool!" comes to my mind in the first place. But shortly after I realize how sad this picture actually is. How sad it is that these children don´t have proper playgrounds.

The tour is done without any negative inncidents and we arrive back at camp late evening. The following days will be packed with lots of work. Due to the mentioned elections our contingent gets stocked up both in personnel and material. To house the planned amount of people we had to rearrange certain structures of the camp. I knew that in nearby future such short notice requirements won´t be a problem anymore since the new depot at the airport was almost done and was about to become operational at the beginning of 2006.

Since the beginning of the ISAF mission in 2001 not only did the manpower increased over and over again, but also the combat equipment and all the support related material, which of course, had to be stocked up multiple times.

Regarding all my tasks already described, you can imagine how fast the time went by. Days, weeks and months were just flying by. Sometimes strange things happened along the not so thrilling everyday tasks, like containers which were actually addressed to KABUL suddenly turning up at our camp while others addressed to us somehow popped up in FEYZABAD.

But sometimes and all of a sudden good things also happen. One day I could not believe my eyes when Bridadier General A. shows up for inspecting the unit and I recognize him to be that Officer from back then tasting cake fudge in my field kitchen years ago. Now and then I also got the chance to join the transportation platoon at the airport and help them to load and unload the arriving and departing airlifters. There are airlifters coming in every day and night. This work takes a whole day although the airport is only less than 8 km away. Since the inspection of the transportation platoon is also part of my main duties I started to use this opportunity to get out of the camp as often as possible for a little variation.

A few days later I got the chance to join the supply transportation flight to FEYZABAAD with a Sikorsky CH-53 helicopter that I was more than happy about in order to get some new impressions. FEYZABAD is about 1200 meters above zero.

waiting for material from Germany

Normally, supply transportation is made via local so-called jingle trucks on the land route. For the distance of 240 km these trucks need about eight to ten hours because of the poor road conditions, you just cannot compare them to the ones back home. But on these routes, it is not possible to transport sensitive or dangerous material. In these cases, airlift capacities are used. The flight proceeds without any incidents. I am placed next to the door gunner to secure the zone to the back and below the helicopter.

The CH-53 is flying as low as possible over fields and mountain tops and offers us an incredible view on the afghan nature. Once landed we stay only half an hour till everything is unloaded and loaded with stuff for us and head back

immediately to KUNDUZ. It´s already noon when we arrive at the airport and it´s awfully hot, feeling like 45 degrees Celsius or more. Once our material and field mail is unloaded I receive a cold bottle of water which I gratefully empty within seconds. At home I have to force down every sip, but in Afghanistan I drank 4 to 5 liters for sure.