Kitabı oku: «White Squad»

Annalu Braga

White Squad

a novel to die for

Original title: Esquadrão de branco

Translated by: Luis Eduardo Junqueira Machado

This book is a work of fiction. Any names, characters, places and organisations mentioned are the work of the author's imagination and are intended to make the narrative authentic.

Any similarity with real events or persons, living or de – ceased, is purely coincidental.

White Squad

White Squad

Copyright © Annalu Braga 2021

e-mail: annalubraga.esc@gmail.com

First edition: october 2011 (Brazil)

English edition: march 2021

Translator: Luis Eduardo Junqueira Machado

Publisher: Tektime – www.traduzionelibri.it

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any form, including by any mechanical or electronic system, without the written permission of the editor, except for brief passages taken for the purposes of review.

Sumário

I

II

III

IV

V

VI

VII

VIII

IX

X

XI

XII

XIII

XIV

XV

XVI

XVII

I

The sky dawned, clean, surrounded by a breeze of opportune winds. A beautiful day to be started with sex. It is what comes to mind on such easily predictable days. No obstacles. With a soul empowered by cotton candy covered dreams. The silver jeep parked in the garage, a brand new shine, and, in detail, on the windshield´s right side, a sticker reading Normal and Insane, embellished this atmosphere. Conrado had not yet decided whether or not he liked the prop, invented by the only person who really knew him: his bride, Vera. There are even some colleagues in the hospital who´d think the phrase does not match the image of a doctor at the height of his career – a straight, white figure, forming an impeccable ensemble with his lab coat, the indefectible Lamy in his pocket and the beige leather folder with the Conrado Connor inscription in black and gold. The man accelerates, entering the day´s road, overcoming the passenger cars ahead.

– Get out of the way, I'm in a hurry, damn it.

Conrado stops at his favorite news stand, in front of a pharmacy in Baixo Leblon. A group of people tries to breathe in the rest of the newspaper headlines: "Mystery patients serial deaths at a hospital in Rio de Janeiro remains unsolved". He asks the dark skinned stand owner for his two usual newspapers, and he quickly wallows in the main daily papers editions´ copies mud. The doctor pays him with a 20 reais bill and departs at the green light.

– Stupid people, don't know this happens.

Hospital infection is the most common thing in hospitals, even in the high-end, personalized clinics in the United States. He keeps driving, with the newspaper sitting on the steering wheel. A driver overtakes him in a radical overtaking, honking his horn, catching his eye.

–Damn, watch out where you are going! You think your cool car is armored? Shouts the van's helper, but he still doesn't care about the world outside, just minding the news glance.

– It is already time for them to give it up, it´s been a month now, and it is a finished, old and beaten fact for the press.– Another driver passes, trashing him, but he remains unmoved – Old newspaper, this one. The sports section sucks. It would had been better not to have seen anything on the internet.

The doctor parks on the boardwalk, in front of the beach, looking for the sea calmness. Turns on the car stereo and a hip-hop emerges from the tombs of past times.

– American girl, I love this version – he cheers up.

Three phenomenal blonde women cross the sidewalk. At a first glance, they seem like friends telling stories from the previous night, and yes, there is much more left to imagination, by the way they comment, excitedly.

– Michele, isn't "five grand" good for one night? – says Karin, to her 23-year-old friend.

– You caught a big fish too – concedes Michele, the youngest of the pros.

– Yes, a real marlin – Karin answers with an open grin, showing up her new, implanted teeth arch, like a brand new car leaving the dealership.

– Wow, with that kind of money I´d have my nose done, just like Nicole Kidman's thin nose, I would look great! Imagine, the “bewitched” and me, equal, twin sisters. That's when the johns would really talk about me– says Wal, 25, excited.

– You have no idea how much I had to wiggle to make these five thousand ...But I'm alive, and in the mood to spend everything at the mall – Karin jokes.

– What? No, not at the mall! An exclusive store, that's what you need, there's a famous one that opened in Ipanema, let's stop by, girls? – Wal suggests .

Conrado observes the hotties closely: the ones on the right have pigeon-shaped breasts, unlike the third one, whose breasts resemble a “sweet” candy apple. Just thinking about those three beauties in a motel room sauna(TN: In Brazil, motels are fancy, short-time period – usually 4 hours or overnight with an early check-out– hotels used for sex encounters; love motels) , the doctor emerges from of the morning news torment .

– Today I can do anything, the day dawned beautifully and everything goes– a prophecy. He approaches the women and, without hesitation, makes the invitation, showing the wallet full of hundred-real bills. At first, even the dunes say yes.

On the way to São Conrado, there is a motel, embedded in stone, where he likes to have sex watching the waves foaming on the rocks, following their pace. Slowly and deeply, deeper each time.

Wal and Michele sweeten themselves, as if it were the first time for the two women, while he finishes enjoying himself on Karin's back, drooling all over her body. Conrado reaches for the wallet. He picks up an envelope, pouring the white content onto the convex salience on the blonde's spine, and stretches a foot-long cocaine line. He embraces her, rubbing his member in the middle of her legs and sniffing the powder until a prolonged end, at the furrow of the small, and muscular girl's butt. The sex and power nuptial march continues, while he watches excitedly, as Wal's mouth sinks into her partner's pubic hair, as she stands on the table. Her vulva, a dull and penetrating pink, contrasts with the dyed blond hair, making him more horny, sipping in the flesh confrontations´ details . Michele asks her to finalize her actions with the due compassion: materializing the pleasure contained in martyrdom.

– Kill me, Wal, but kill me willingly ... – and Wal adds energy to her lover's face expression, using fingers and tongue in the cradle of her golden-red dreams. The doctor watches everything with learning determination, as if he could never overcome them in bed. Drinks the rest of his whiskey, keeping a small piece of ice between his teeth. He approaches Karin's back and runs the ice-melted tongue around her spine, doing sequential circles down to her butt.

– Your time has come, stud. Babe, call me Doc, this is how I like it, okay?

It's your turn to experience my power.

Karin, naughtlly, allows herself to be entirely embraced, being approached with the intensity of one man. His desire is voracious, perpetuating within the walls of the motel.

– Approach is loyal. Penetration is lion, – ponders Wal, the blonde with a thousand sexual spells.

Leaning against his shoulder, Michele, the creature with green eyes and a clearly livid after-sex look, theorizes that “anything can happen uptown, this is Zona Sul (TN: Literally, South End, usually the best neighborhood in Brazilian cities)”. After she moved from Niterói to Rio, only sex maniacs have showed up in her sexual encounters. Since she met her colleagues and, as she vows – was “co-opted” -, it has been a succession of setbacks, but now there is no turning back, it´s all fine.

In bed, Karin gets surrounded by the male stalker organ. Conrad imposes a crazy rhythm, with little saliva and exceeding impatience. With an experienced succession of firm strokes, he smiles, convinced of his power, while "working", surrounding the female. Wal helps herself to a drink ,and leans against the jealous window edge. Not even the sea is that blue today ... Michele joins her, wrapped in a red satin towel.

– This "little doctor" is going to give us a lot of trouble. I thought it would be a quickie, but the consultation will last a long time. There's two in the waiting line— she mocks.

"The way he's "snorted," he's not going to drop "the ball" —her friend says. openly.

The afternoon sun already shows up on the horizon, like a thin trace in the middle of the sea, waking the bodies lying over the bed. Conrado consults his watch with the defiant tone of a robot. Rubs his eyes and gets up, still naked.

– Dammit! Ladies, it's time to set sail!

Intertwined, Michele and Wal grumble when they are awakened. Conrado dresses in seconds, in a bad-mood foam. Separates 10 100-real bills and hands eight to the green-eyed blonde Karin, the chosen goddess, the one totally consumed. The other pair of notes is disputed by the rest. He recommends the young women leave their business cards with the brunet receptionist and picks up his car´s keys. Karin looks at the girls with an inviting look, and they reciprocate. "The commander leaves and the crew starts the party", saying so, locks the bedroom door and the blondes´ private little party begins .

In the apartment facing the Lagoon (TN: Rodrigo de Freitas Lagoon, a well-known touristic venue in Rio as well as a neighborhood denomination), Roberta cries, but it's not the first time she's shedding tears for her husband. The old-fashioned linen embroidered scarf is named after João Henrique. "If I had embraced some religion, I wouldn't be suffering so much," reflects the woman, marked by a long white hair wick lying on the right side of her fringe.

Without a shadow of a doubt, a beautiful woman in her fifties. Overlooking the balcony ´s rail in the Lagoa's apartment, she watches the comes and goes of cars on the waterfront.

The light turns green and a car crash becomes a new ordeal. Roberta observes the confusion, worried. "It's not the first time, never is." Remembers the tragic accident that hit João Henrique.

The couple had prepared to hit the road and enjoy the moments together. Almost thirty years of marriage and this was the promised vacation from one to the other, to rekindle the relationship. Ouro Preto would be the final destination, the most romantic place possible for them.

On the highway, the car started choking.

– Roberta, we are out of gas!

– How come, is it empty?

– Look at the marker!

– João, haven´t you fueled the tank before we left Rio?

– Honey, I was so anxious for this trip, I forgot. I'm sorry, but you leave it to me. Stay in the car, I'm going to push it.

In a split second, headlights appeared on the other side of the road. Roberta saw the lights and signaled at it, asking for help.The car at high speed skidded on the curve, hitting the side of the couple's car. The impact projected João's body to the shoulder. The driver braked, but gave up, and resumed his way, speeding. Roberta came across her husband on the side of the shoulder: the shirt stained at breast height, and she shouted his name.

An ambulance appeared at the curve with opened doors , and paramedics jumped, nimbly. The doctor examined João Henrique, searching for some fracture.

– Calm down, sir, you don't have to struggle. Just hold on tight til the hospital in Teresópolis. It's about 8 miles from here.

– My wife, please tell her I'm fine.

– Do you feel any pain here?

– The shoulder blade hurts a lot.

On arrival at the hospital, Roberta, after digging for some calm somewhere in her mind, called her daughter, . Roberta lit a cigarette, taking a long drag. She quit smoking more than four years ago, and now there was no way to keep the pledge.

– No, not to me! " her cry drowned out by the comfort of tobacco.

In the hospital corridors, there was a general rush. Major accident. A nurse held the hand of a young girl, her face shredded by glass cuts . "But my husband is going to get away with this, it's just a cracked rib. That's all," Roberta sought the lull of a hypothetical sea amid chaos.

In the background, a man hugged the doctor and begged him to save his sister. Roberta watched the scene and tried to convince herself that it was just routine procedure. Tatiana called next, crying.

– Tati, I didn't remember filling it up with gas in Rio. If anyone's guilty, it's me.

– Mom, it was the guy who ran over Dad. He was in the wrong direction. I'm going to the police station and see if anyone saw it. It's not possible that there was no one on the road, or in a nearby house, someone who witnessed this tragedy.

– There's no point in doing anything now. First we need to get your father out of here, this hospital is horrible.

– I'm going there.

The surgeon in charge called her name. Roberta looked around her and noticed the place´s odness, with corridors full of distressed people and arid paints on their souls. She took a deep breath when the doctor began explaining the situation.

– As we expected, it was just a rib fissure, and the treatment consists basically on resting. For now, we will maintain his functions normalized, and assist with artificial ventilation to reduce pulmonary effort. In a week, at most, he'll be fine.

At the apartment window, an ambulance siren throws her into the present. “If I had looked into the car´s gas level ... If I had not gone into the car ... If I had him push the car to the shoulder and waited for help, none of this would have happened. I would have him, I would have everything, my life back, it was just what I wanted, ”her morbid heart cries.

In downtown Rio de Janeiro, teenager Flavinho, carrying the flowers for his latest delivery, agrees with his girlfriend to pick her up in ten minutes. With a glance at the clock's hand, he enters a fine gift shop and hands the bouquet of yellow roses to the Japanese girl. The girl barely has the time to say thanks, eager to know who was the treat´s author. Flavinho picks up the client's signature and looks over the perfume showcase. Checks prices for one that fits his salary. Counts what's in his pocket, eighty-seven reais. It won´t do. Ashamed, asks to see a simple lavender flask. Shimitzu doesn't answer, just ignores the delivery boy.

At the people´s bazaar, he glances over the front row like a remote control. In one of the tents, there is a blinding shelf of gold like glittering jewels. He chooses with the dignity of his naked soul, comparing one by one. Reaches into his pocket to check how much he has, and decides for a pair of heart-shaped earrings. The blond curly-haired boy asks for a gift wrap for "a year of love." The saleswoman serves him with pleasure. Flavinho puts the box into his backpack inner pocket. Pays fifty-five reais. He and Margo celebrate their one-year dating anniversary today. His love. He meets his girlfriend at the appointed time, by the door of the store where she works. She, wearing new clothes, miniskirt and beige top, looks beautiful.

– You look stunning today, princess." Margo opens herself brightly, even guessing the compliment from who won her heart a year , four hours and forty-five minutes ago, for being an ultra-romantic guy.

– Flavinho, let's spend the afternoon at the beach?

– Love, today I would be able to ride a sled to the stars with you. Staying until the sun rises on the beach, pushing away every grain that touches your body, and counting the waves, daring the ironies of the world, smiling to fate, deceiving death to the very end, just to be with you. You are all that is best in me, and whatever is inside me, is chained to you. Babe, do you know what day it is today?

– Of course, my poet ... Margo responds with a long kiss, stopping the running crowd trying to catch the last bus on Line 175.

Flavinho enters the line, protecting his companion from the pressure of the embarking crowd with his body . A kid complains, telling him to walk. Another pushes. The bus capacity runs out fast. Flavinho slows the line, but the bus jump-starts into a jolt, causing him to bump into a pregnant woman. He apologizes, but she ignores him. The guy next to her stares at him. Flavinho walks away politely without realizing that the stranger talks on the phone while staring at him, but for Flavinho today is a happy party day, an everything is gonna be all right day

Margo and her boyfriend lean against the back of the bus in a romantic mood. The bus follows its route, passengers holding to it like magnets, to an area nearby a military academy.

At the stop, a man wearing a Mets cap enters the bus. Like a snake, he searches and recognizes the target. Draws a gun under his shirt and shoots point-blank at the teenager.

Flavinho falls back with his hand on his chest. Margo tries to contain her boyfriend's blood and screams for help.

The killer jumps out the window and runs in the middle of the street, dodging cars. He crosses the Zuzu Angel tunnel with ease, and climbs the Rocinha Hill through its endless lanes. In a seemingly abandoned house, a group of men hides drug packages into a fake tiled wall. Three young teenagers perform the task, under the close eyes of a very large white man keeping watch. He glimpses the ajar door in search of a good hiding place. In opening, he knocks down a red tricycle, causing a tremendous noise. The big guy reacts, cocks the gun and shoots without blinking. The minors realize the bad luck: the man on the ground is known, it´s Gil.

– Man, you messed up. He's from the fucking community. You killed the dude. We're going to get "scolded" because of this shit. Son of a bitch! Did you have to show up right now? – they comment, nervously.

The gang comes out, rushing through the brick shack window, mingling with people in the alleyways. During the rumble, the neighborhood is the only discreet one. A white shorts resident closes the window and sits on the couch to watch TV. A girl with a baby in her arms goes to the grocery store, as if watching a movie scene. In the shack, Gil remains lying on the ground, bleeding out.

At a French Alps city´s ski station, a stunning redheaded and slender woman practices her first skiing movements. She seems well adapted to the new poles sliding on the track, and, sometimes, bends her knees, simulating a curve, instigating surrounding looks. "I was born for this. Good life, good champagne, a handsome sweet guy..."

A nod: it is the new sweetheart who watches over her from afar. They met as soon as she arrived in Paris. From the date, scheduled through a chatroom, they went out for a drink in a late afternoon, and, from then on, it was just sex and fun. Cadú is a hottie, with a light brown complexion, deep green eyes, elegant, modern and very talkative, in fact, he is a true luxury escort. True and expensive. The obstetrician only has eyes for his chiseled body, always available for sex.

“Handsome, but you have to pay well”, she thinks, arriving at the restaurant, where the boyfriend is helping himself to a brandy. At the table, a plate of escargots succulently awaits the couple. Cadú, always courteous, gets up and offers a chair. His drink is a Remy Martin brandy, but she prefers something more sophisticated.

– Absinthe, Lyanne? But it's a fortune!

– Sweetie, men are meant to pay, or have you already spent the money I gave you? It doesn't matter. There is more where that money came from, . Anything for both of us, dear.

– It's just that I feel a little embarrassed about you passing me money under the table. What if someone sees?

– Nobody cares about these things these days. Anything goes. Ok. Next time I will put it in a nice place for you to look for.

– You and your games! That's why I'm crazy to bang you all the time. Let's go to the bedroom.

– In a minute, insatiable boy.

– Don't call me boy, I hate it when you do that.

Cadú asks for the bill and shuts up with a generous dose of fresh air.

– Calm down, you don't have to get upset, let's have our drink while I relax and get hotter, Bubuzinho.

Lyanne straightens her long red hair and bits the corner of her lip. She steals his brandy, making a point of running her tongue on the corner of her lip. Positive sign: Cadú leaves some bills on the table and they leave.

In the gondola, Lyanne undoes her blouse and exposes her breasts. "Here, it's all yours, but don't tear it, it's expensive, and you can't afford it." Cadú looks a bit annoyed, but prefers to suck her red, upright tits. She spreads her legs and sits over him, unbuttoning the zipper of her wool pants, both bodies protected by a sweater.

An employee receives tourists. Lyanne speeds up her rhythm to a selfish orgasm. She reaches her goal and tells him to end the game. Cadú, disconcerted, settles down, “I wasn't born rich, what am I going to do now? Study ? Now, it is not possible anymore, that time is over! ”. She hurries him.

– Now, let's go shopping, honey. You need a new watch, the Rolex you wear is too worn out.

– You don’t have to. I heard this is the land of Mont Blanc, it should be more affordable.

– You don't know anything, imagine, a Mont Blanc does not measure up to the technology of a Rolex. These futile things, you leave them to me, I know best, Bubuzinho.

The couple drives on the cobblestone road that cuts through the Chartreuse mountains towards the snowy valley. Lyanne, behind the wheel, runs her hand over Cadú's pants in a hopeful voice: "My handsome, Lyaninha will let you come next time."

In his office, decorated with colorful images of Guanabara Bay and a huge gold inlaid table with two white leather sofas on the side, Conrado examines some documents in a patient folder. Letter H. The nurse announces the arrival of a patient. A 75-year-old man enters and is greeted with a light hug.

– Haroldo, how are you doing?

– Not so good, Conrado. I have noticed that my legs are always wobbly, I am very tired. I feel this treatment is making me weak. Can't we take a break?

– Chemotherapy is like that. It takes time for a person to recover. The feeling of weariness is normal, after all, we are facing an enemy. The process to slow down cancer cells reproduction and the tumor is painful, but this is our challenge: mine and yours. Imagine that this is an enemy that you have to fight every day: this is how chemotherapy works. You will see that all this effort was worth it. How are the headaches?

– Come and go. Only the tiredness is wearing me down.

– It's natural, so let's continue with the treatment. In a month from now you will have blood tests to assess the platelets condition.

– Conrado, I'm not sure I want to continue with this. I know this cancer is malignant and tends to spread. I'm going to die, aren't I? Tell me the truth, you have become my friend, you can be absolutely sincere.

– Haroldo, chemotherapy is the only proven tumor inhibition technique, without it, we have no alternatives.

– My granddaughter is insisting that I travel with her. She wants to take me to Canada, the weather is mild at this time. I have a good reserve of money and I want to use it, after all, life without Bete is very hard. Old and alone, it is very difficult.

– Your granddaughter is an example of a girl, she worries, one notices that she loves you and that is admirable, but I believe it is not your time yet. Wait for another six months, the treatment term, then you travel, agreed?

Conrado says goodbye to him with a light hug, asking for a little more patience. The old man looks disappointed. Conrado puts Haroldo's file under a pile of paper and consults the secretary about the next patient. His last generation cell phone rings. The man identifies himself as police officer Martins and asks for a patient's medical record. Conrado claims that he has already provided the death certificate, but he counters that the document is vague and contains only the main factor: vital organs failure due to hospital infection. Conrado insists that the medical record would be of no value to the police, just technical information.

– But I need the details of her death, even if it is just an embellishment for journalists.

The doctor ensures he will provide the papers by the end of the week.

Satisfied, Martins, gets up from his desk, evaluating his reflection in the police station´s mirrored glass. A man of average height, white and with a spiked haircut, he looks cool today . He goes around the room, tuning his charm, aiming at the boss's secretary at the end of the corridor. He leans over her table and looks down at the mulatto woman´s cleavage, under her long braided hair. His eyes are of a bright blue color so attractive she could not escape his sight.

– Two hours in the saloon, but it's worth it," the 20-something mulatto woman insinuates. She emits body waves in skinny jeans and a combined turquoise top. Martins puts his hand on the braids and slides towards her breasts. Suzi stops him by reminding him about her boyfriend, "a sturdy wall".

– I know, the boss! – completes Martins and the secretary boasts about it. – Suzi, you're lucky the boss's wife has no idea.

People are approaching and Martins controls himself. Justifies himself with a message to his chief about the medical record request. He looks at the bottom of his colleague's knitted top and leaves, realizing that he has again lost the chance to get the boss's girl to bed.

In the Hospital surgical center, the surgeon finishes the procedures at the boy, who presents a strong hemorrhage in his chest region. He removes the bullet and deposits it on a metal tray. Julio has his moment and analyzes the bullet's curve trajectory, sliding over the utensil, making an irritating noise. The experienced doctor, in his forty-five years, has a curriculum considered normal in the balance of losses and gains. He has worked in the hospital's emergency department for five years and knows how things go. He gets out of surgery, takes off his gloves and washes his hands, watched anxiously by the young woman with braces on her teeth, unsuccessfully wiping out her tears outside the watch-window: Margo, leaning against the room door, approaches him.

– He's young and will survive. The bullet was successfully removed and the bleeding stopped. Everything went well – the doctor tries to comfort her.

– Save my boyfriend, he's an angel.

– Calm down, the first 24 hours are the most critical. After this phase, the organism will start reacting with its own defenses against the infection. He will be able to recover.

– But what do I say to Flavinho's family? His mother is desperate, she is old and has a heart problem. You know? It was our dating anniversary, one year. We were going to Leblon beach to celebrate. I asked to leave work early, if only I knew it was going to happen on the bus ...

– Young lady, think that everything will be all right. Have you eaten today? There's a cafeteria down here that sells some healthy sandwiches. Have one and go home. Write down the hospital phone and call me tomorrow morning, I'll be on call.

– I will only leave with him or with some good news.

– So, at least eat something, I don't want another patient here – he jokes, affectionately.

Two policemen stick their feet in the shack door and find Gil shot down in the abdomen. A policeman checks his pulse and realizes he is still alive, but is questioned by the colleague, interrupting the rescue.

-He´s alive. The thug still breathes.

– Let's see if he spits all out before he dies – shaking the wounded man. – You are the one called PP, Paulo Peão, isn't that right, buddy?

Gil makes the sign of the cross, swearing that it is not true. .

– Of course you are. This guy looks just like the PP´s photo – comparing with the picture– Look here.

His partner refrains.

– Shot in the abdomen. I will request the rescue vehicle – he tells his partner.

The bad cop sticks the barrel of the pistol in Gil's abdomen wound, while he´s dying on the floor.

– Will you talk or will I have to put another bullet in your “horns”, huh?

Gil just makes a painful sound.

– PP, where's the powder? Where the fuck did you hide the drug? Tell me right now or I´m going to kill you!

Blood drips onto the pale t-shirt and spills on the clay floor.

– Are you going to talk or would you prefer to take it in the pipe? – announces, turning the wounded body until the barrel of the gun touches his ass. – Aren't you going to spill? Ah, it's because you like it. Gildinha here is good, she is hot ... She gives it to you like no one! She´s tough and sure of it. Do you want to see?" Come and see how sweet she is too ... – he threatens, passing the gun on him from front to back.

His colleague catches the scene.

– Stop it, the guy is already dying! Are you gonna end his life here, with everyone watching?

– Positive. This one has a certain destination already . He looked for it, found it, "bro". He's fucked up now.

The ambulance arrival is a lifesaver and the policeman retreat, leaving the rescuers in action. The angry cop begs for death in the first bar on the way home.

The following day's newspapers feature the headlines: Drug War leaves a man seriously injured. The criminal, known for committing crimes for pure dilettantism, is in a coma at hospital.

– Dilettantism? The guy just ‘ finished’ people that messed with whom he liked, that was it. – was the general comment in the nicest bar in the favela, with a jukebox, karaoke, DVD, internet and, of course, stupidly cold beer, even some imported.

– Don't you understand that these newspaper guys like to embellish their articles?– says Deise, a black woman with full breasts, large ass and brightly black eyes.

– Speak up, Deise! – The woman able of creating light in the plain dark of her eyes – the bar owner flirts with the manicure.

– Stop it, Maneco. You are married and I know you can´t play because your wife keeps you on a very short leash!

– But what about Gil, will he make it? – asks one of the regulars at the bar.

– From what I recently saw on the internet, his chances are 10%. This will yield news in the papers, because that is what people like. – he comments.

– It´s also possible that 'the pigs will finish him' at the hospital.

– This is already just like the movies. It is easier for him to die in such a hospital bed, the kind we all will end in because we have no money, than to become a movie star.

– This Deise leaves nothing behind, a practical woman, ready for anything and with all the answers on the tip of her tongue– he blinks, flirting like crazy. – Deise, tell me something, when are you going to go out and about with me? You know, I've been waiting for this chance since I met you ...

A mulatto woman with a red leather handbag storms into the bar. Rosa complains, annoyed for not finding her car keys where they should be: on the clavicular! She translates: on the key holder. Maneco, who has been at work since six in the morning, asks for some patience.

– No excuses. I have a schedule, I'm a very busy woman. It is not because I am of black descent and I live in a community that I do not have my rights. Where are the keys?

Rosa checks out the traffic through the view she has from the top of the buildings and decides on a taxi. She comes out in short steps, showing her thin and muscular legs under close eyes, especially her No. 1 fan, her husband´s, and No. 2, her manicure´s.

– That is what it means, to be in true possession of your rights. That's right – Deise quips, glimpsing at the elegance of the sweet mulatto woman.

At the hospital, Roberta, leaning over a steel counter, hastily signs up the transfer papers for her husband. Her tracing is precise and culminates with a brush paint stroke at the name end. An official observes if the all the items have been filled in, while she is feeling proud about her daughter's profession as a journalist, for, without Tatiana, she would not have been able to get this release.

– The healthcare plan did not want to pay for the helicopter, but she is a journalist and has influence.

– Or at least they think I do. – corrects the journalist.

– That´s okay, the important thing is that we can now take your father to Rio. There, he will get better care and has more options – she emphasizes, going against a local employee.

– Madam, I'm sorry, but our hospital has all the conditions. What happens is that our equipment is not as complete as the ones the ICUs in Rio have.

– Yes, I understand, in fact, it reassures me I´m doing the right thing in taking João Henrique to Rio. We are at home there and have well-known doctors.

– I'm sorry, ma'am, but the doctors in Teresópolis are very good and recognized by the population for an efficient service, comparable to those in Rio de Janeiro.

The helicopter lands in a cloud of dust in the center of the hospital's courtyard lawn. Lying on a transport stretcher, João Henrique is accompanied by two nurses and a rescue worker.

The aircraft flies over the Serra dos Órgãos mountains, an infinitely deep blue-green. A dense fog disappears with the device, over just the typical sound of a bee sandwiched on the glass, turning the path between life and death – black and white, fear and sigh, lightning and surface – to be infinitely cruel to Roberta and Tatiana from now on. And who said life would not be predestined to be hung by a thread?

II

Tatiana drives back to Rio without delaying her eyes´ curtain over the landscape that tries to hide her anguish. The moment is exclusive and it settles like a cone protecting the dialogue between mother and daughter. They go down the mountain and take the time to disarm themselves, at this right moment, to cry and vent. Roberta has maintained an almost morbid silence for a long time.

– First they said João had a fractured rib, which would heal on his own, and yesterday the doctor reported that the tests showed a lung perforation. I can't take it!

– Easy now. Dad has always been healthy, he never smoked, he played sports. I assume that the lung problem can be overcome with antibiotics.

– That's if he doesn't get pneumonia. Would the solution come only by a miracle? I am tired of this brainwashing based liturgy, the collective that does not respect the individual being, an atheist!

– Mother, I believe there is a Force, something like that, that moves the other forces that we are.

– The Force, the Energy, the Good, the Bad, what is the reason for this certainty that things are governed in this way? I've been at my limit since I saw your father like that. He does not deserve it, he has always been a person filled with the best possible intentions, one of the most humanitarian people I have ever seen, but the faithful, “fearful of God”, do not think like this. All the good that happens to them is due to Him and not to their ability to work, to have struggled to raise a daughter and make her finish university with his daily life sweat. University books? Expensive, Roland Barthes, the English and French dictionaries, computer classes, TV direction and film script courses.

– I know what you did for me. You even left the Fine Arts course to continue working in the store.

– It was a more than just cause, but when your father leaves the hospital I will review this part of my life. All that that is happening is a shock that I have to overcome, but he is alive and survived a direct collision, on foot, with a car. This is luck.

– I went to the police station and did some research if there was an accident that day, something that had the characteristics of the pick-up truck that crossed the road and ran over Dad, but there was no similar occurrence. What weighs in all this is disinformation. In the countryside, everything is so slow and backwards that I don't think I'll ever discover anything. And whoever ran dad over never stopped to help. It's unacceptable what people do for fear of getting involved, and this guy had to go to jail for it. We have to find out who is responsible, it is not possible that nobody saw anything, there were houses close to the highway, some witnesses are probably ...

– Leave your journalist instinct for the moment, because finding out who hit him won't help, I´m sorry.

– Love Instinct, daughter's love, and Justice. I am very close to Dad and besides, you know that I cannot turn a blind eye to events.

– And I can't think of anything except his image, full of probes and devices, poor thing. Immobilized, sedated, full of pumps. I wanted to talk to him so badly so he wouldn't feel alone.

Roberta pours into tears. Tati stops the vehicle on the shoulder and hugs her. The two mix their tears for a few minutes.

– You should stop being the world´s mother. Dad is strong and I am fully independent. Think about yourself now, about traveling more, seeing the works of art you like in loco, getting out of the routine. But, by plane, please. What I am trying to tell you is that it is enough sacrifice already. It's time to look inside you, resume painting, take care of the wounds you treated with patched cloths. Trust the doctors, they have sworn an oath and have a responsibility to life, at least to the people who give their lives to them.

Roberta smiles for the first time. Tati rejoices, because she always felt guilty: how many times she got home late at night after college and when she put her key in the door she heard her voice, warning about the food in the oven: roasted meat with vegetables, together with a recommendation. "Do not forget the salad because vegetables are essential for those who study a lot, it helps memory". The journalist was always amused, from the top of her heels and also a few beers, either from the mention of studying or the difficulty degree found in journalism universities in Brazil.

In a hotel room in Chartreuse, snow begins to foam on the window, confusing day with night. The snow lightening the night and the popping of ice on the glass resemble the sensation from those children´s snow globes, when we shook them and it happened to snow on Santa's sleigh.

A child's dream in Brazil has always been about snow. But the doctor never shied away from dreaming and very high. For her, "the day" would come, even when the feeling of an annihilated dream overrode the routine in hospitals. The change was happening precisely due to the losses.

At first, when a patient died on hospital shifts, she weakened inside. It was the rule, for a new and recently graduated doctor, to hear "one day you will get used to it". It has become almost a joint statement. And it is true, because she learned to work with layers in her mind, a pleasant replacement. She replaced the nightmare with the magical drink at night. A maximum of two glasses of wine, liqueur and, occasionally, a 12 year old scotch to celebrate. On call, “that was my ordeal”, she told her closest friends, in fact, lovers. Here is the second layer. There was no heterosexual friend she hadn't slept with. It was like it had become an obligation. No Sadomasochist, just a woman who turned sex into a common sport, "cheap", as she said. Afterwards, she chose to pay for professionals, precisely for “an unquestionable advantage. They are discreet, do not listen and only say what I want. I conclude that I do well ”– she thinks, while enjoying herself in the hotel room with Cadú.

They play their favorite game: treasure hunt: a hundred dollar bill anywhere in the room, always well hidden in a dark place. Cadú begins his investigation in the shoe rack, full of twenty high-priced pairs of Italian suede. They all have the same model, an expensive whim that he has been feeding lately, thanks to the generosity of others, namely Lyanne. By the way, the redhead does have fun ...]

– Come here and see if you can find the little treasure right here. Do you know where it is? Come fishing – points under the sheet.

– You will not regret it!

– Only if you're fishing with your tongue ... – she suggests, maliciously.

– That's how you want it, Lyanninha, hoisting the treasure from deep inside, isn't it?

Cadú dives in her legs. Every great pleasure has an end and a reward. The doctor is reluctant against instant pleasures, but after it happens, it is final. A long orgasm and she reveals the hundred dollar bill in her hand. He's worthy. Voilá.

The medical team is unanimous about the serious state of the shooting victim who just arrived at the hospital's emergency. Conrado makes his considerations while examining the extent of the wound in Gil's abdomen cavity. The nurse indicates there is a vacancy at the ICU.

The rescue helicopter lands on top of the building. The assistants transport the stretcher with João Henrique to the interior of the hospital, towards the ICU.

The last spot is occupied by the shot man. Gil is being prepared to receive the monitoring devices. The stretcher with João Henrique arrives at the door, but is stopped by the head nurse, warning that there is no availability. Confusion arises with the approach of a group of assistants to watch the scene – or rather – learn which decision will be made. The doctor on call is the one who will ultimately resolve it.

Conrado is called to the intercom and appears in a few moments sporting his usual air of absolute tranquility. Lucia asks for his attention.

– It's an embarrassing situation, doctor. The ICU is already full with twenty-six patients.

– You have to wait or transfer the last patient. What is the doubt?

– It seems the administration does not recommend it.

– How so? Order of arrival, this is the rule.

– The one who arrived first is shot.

The nurse informs about the reason for such recommendation: the Health Plan status. Conrado understands the situation: a question of values, the Health Plan is superior.

– And what is the second patient´s state?

– Rib fracture and lung perforation.

– Let me see both files. João Henrique Nogueira, 60, stable. Transferred from Teresópolis. The other one...

Conrado receives the message with the recommendation in favor to the hit and run patient. The doctor communicates the decision to remove the shot man from the ICU and "place the insured one, that is, the 60-year-old patient. Matter of age ”.

Gil is abandoned in the corridor and the nurses transfer the tube and artificial respirator to the new patient. João Henrique receives first care at the ICU. Fate hangs on the balance: who will survive?

The question´s echo does not survive in Conrado´s mind, watching a TV shopping channel in the call room.

Conrado has adapted. Back int he day, he was an idealist in his profession. The son of dedicated doctor Miguel Conrado Connor operated on insects as a child. He started by capturing beetles on his father's farm. Conradinho amputated the beetles' legs and recovered them with improvised prostheses made from matchstick barbs. Miguel always guided him on Medicine, he used to say that Medicine was not limited to a promising profession, but to humanitarian work. As a matter of fact, he wanted to be a veterinarian. “One day I will save all the animals”, he dreamed. At the age of eight, he already had skills. He took care of Mimi, a gecko with a cut tail. Conradinho had fixed it with a band-aid using eyebrow tweezers. The patient was kept in a soluble coffee glass with a roof adapted from a perforated red plastic lid, in order to provide ventilation. Conradinho visited her every morning in a sacred ritual. He picked up the house inside his church shoes box in the closet, and, when Mimi reacted, it was a relief. “How cute, she's dancing, she's happy!”, He vibrated. Feeding was solved thanks to the food he kept in a matchbox containing live insects. One day, Mimi was not interested. He found her dry with her belly up, she was his first patient to die. He vowed never to treat animals again. He isolated himself inside the closet and his parents never knew what happened, much less that their son was sensitive.

Well, nowadays, death still lingers in the doctor's mind, however in an uncompromising way. General practitioner, Conrado specialized in oncology by his own choice. Some of the old people who attend his private practice three times a week are already gone. Conrado always advises his patients that "cancer is not only physical, it is the pain of the soul, sadness, anguish and loneliness".

– But who doesn't have these problems? – questioned his mother, whom even he couldn't save.

That day, back in the 90s, in a hospital bed, he noticed death showing his compassionate face. He never forgot the expression in his mother's eyes, asleep on the horizon, and how they seemed inert and opaque, so far away. Darkness took over his heart for many years, without medicine, without a cure, without the soul he once sought in his actions.

“Now it's boredom: fame and money. Every kind of rite of passage results in a change in behavior and that's the way it is, it settles, Conrado ”, he repeats to himself until the nurse enters with a new emergency.

Wagner looks 40-something years old thanks to his long hair with almost no gray, in a pure rock singer biotype. Nervous, he has an eyebrow twitch as if transmitting in a special Morse Code.

– The pain is here, in the chest, a sharp pain. I was playing soccer with friends and felt my heart.

– Do you smoke? Do you use any medication?

– No, just pot.. and lightly ...

– Wagner, let's do this – the nurses laugh in secrecy, but the doctor remains discreet. – We will apply a medication to normalize your heartbeat. Initially, it seems like an extra systole, but I need to confront the exams first.

– No problem, Doctor Conrado, I can take a leave for a few days. I'm a musician. I don't have a wife or children, I'm a loose animal in life.

Conrado decides to proceed to a complete check-up and leaves the room avoiding an “immature” explanation as a response. On the way to his office, he is commonly checked out by the infirmary girls, including Carminha, responsible for his nickname, "Doc Cock", Conrado checks them out discretely, but she continues to look at him as a divine delicacy. The doctor responds the gesture by stroking his red Lamy in his lab coat pocket as a sign of his potency, leaving a trail of testosterone. The rumors that he likes all kinds of sex genders, numbers and degrees, make the subject much more interesting for Carminha.

– Everything that is consented between sexual partners is ok – Carminha states. – Girls, this has become a thing of the past: sex for three, group, tribal. Have you read Erica Jong in your life? I bet you never read anything but self-help books. A woman who doesn’t act on her sex fantasies is problematic, see? And that does nothing but get her fat!

Carminha is never limited in this regard, her famous stories are told at times, when the emergency room is not very busy. Speaking of which, lately she has been dwelling on the development of her pure pleasure theory. The nurse uses a refined technique and introduces the secrets of pompoirism to colleagues hidden behind the counter.

– Gently place one at a time. It is necessary to learn to control yourself completely and introduce the balls little by little. When you feel that you are already full, expel one by one. The feeling inside is like being particularly lubricated. As the air bubbles come out, a small vacuum occurs inside the vagina. At each round, the feeling gets greater and longer, better even than coming through traditional ways.

– But it is still a penetration, right? – a colleague questions .

– I would say a selected penetration. And, in particular, a sure and practical satisfaction. Thai balls are to be used anytime and anywhere, even in the bathroom.

On this personal issue, Carminha prefers to refrain from details, but recalls that, until today, the only person in the hospital to whom she confessed her innovations was a beloved patient, the old lady who died after a coronary catheterization. She liked her as if she were her mother and always took the opportunity to amuse her. She appreciated her eccentric humor, her curious eyes and the accent that gave her a prophetic air. The nurse had never forgotten their conversations.

– Sex is the driving force of life. Renews the skin, the cells and even the soul, you know? It is like an exfoliation of the soul, removing the skin and dead residues and creating a new layer instead.

It is true the old woman never doubted the kind nurse´s stories, but expressed concern, with her reticent eyes, at the excesses committed by the "sexually restless" young woman.

– But Carminha, aren't you afraid of being targeted?

– I have a firm position here, I will soon assume a tenure, a lifelong position. Seriously, I do many favors in this hospital, in addition to being very competent.

– You are very dedicated, caring and intensive.

– That is the right term, I see that you are getting the mood. Keep this secret between the two of us. In fact, here I have already “had” everyone, that is, the ones who interested me, only Doc Cock is missing, that's how I call Doctor Conrado. He's the hunkiest and one of the most experienced doctors here at the hospital.

– I am happy for that, Carminha, because it is he who is taking care of me.

– You are in good hands, ma´am.

Noise of hurried heels in the corridor. Roberta and Tatiana arrive. The nurses resume their disguises and promptly get up, each with a last-minute accessory: clipboard, pen and medical record. Carminha is ready to help them while the others look for tasks typical of a stationery counter.

– The patient you are looking for is in the ICU. According to the document, due to a lung injury.

Conrado analyzes the medical records folder for June 2010 and finds what he wants. The Yonne de Champs’ report qualifies the situation as a late complication after surgical intervention: Hospital-acquired infection “With this report and official information, police officer Martins will be at peace!”, He concludes. Conrado recalls that he had been responsible for the coronary catheterization on the seventy-eight-year-old French professor. Miss Yonne was an amusing lady, despite the heavy accent that made her speech harsh. She was an old acquaintance of the employees and even became a character in the hospital, since she had been hospitalized twice for heart attack.

The patient liked to talk to the nurses on duty, who would look forward to her final word on personal matters. Conrado was aware of the comments in the halls that she was Nurse Carminha's favorite patient, “the girls' sexy and delicious sex teacher”. For this reason, he knew that Miss Yonne was amused by Carminha's spicy stories. Once, he was even asked by Renato about this relationship. The patient's son said that, although he was not sure if the stories had a delirium percentage typical of her age, she was very fond of her company. Conrado, who became the family´s doctor, always knew the nurse taught sex classes in the X-ray room and gathered a team of colleagues to communicate the releases of new sexual accessories. Yonne made this comment with natural affection.

– I confess that I love the way Carminha describes the details, she has a talent for writing. It is good to ward off evil spirits, doctor, so I get less concerned with the surgery.

The following morning, Miss Yonne underwent an operation to introduce a pacemaker. She did well in her usual mind lightness. That day she received a yellow rose from an anonymous woman and kept it in a glass of water by the bed. The night went by without surprises until Conrado was called over the phone. The new tests indicated that his patient's platelets had dropped a lot.

Conrado received Renato in his office.

– I do not understand. She was having a spectacular improvement. How could it happen, Conrado?

– I liked her very much, but we cannot predict, even with the hospital taking all precautions in terms of sepsis and bacteria control. What affects the elderly the most? If it were the bacteremia that affects 20 out of every 100 thousand elderly people, according to the WHO, but what happens is that hospital infection is ruthless. Even in this hospital, which is monitored by a Hospital Infection Control Commission and presents rates below 15%, every doctor´s fear happens, in short, that of HI. It is unpredictable, even more so in the elderly. I am terribly sorry.

Conrado comes back to reality with three knocks on the lime green door. Roberta and Tatiana introduce themselves.

– My husband came from Teresópolis. He arrived by rescue helicopter, Dr. Conrado. Why did he go to the ICU?

The mention of the insurance company brand makes an immediate connection in his mind, only remaining to him to explain the case in doctor details.

– It is not about that, ma´am, it is protocol. A transferred patient must stay at the ICU before going to a private room. Mr. João Henrique presents a left lung perforation caused by a crack in one of the ribs. It is necessary to do rates control and a complete patient monitoring, especially in the case of lung injury.

– I believe I understand. He left a hospital and was boarded into a helicopter. On the way, whatever is in the air until he reaches a safe environment ... – says Roberta.

– Exactly, safe. The ICU has all the devices needed to monitor the patient, – Conrado says.

– What is the prevision for him to leave ICU?

– First of all, we will give him a selection of medications to help regenerate the affected lung. I believe that in a few days we will have a conclusive report.

Conrado smiles in order to end the conversation. As soon as they leave, he returns to the death folder. He holds it for minutes, but his mind enters a spectacular phase of erotic dreams.

Tatiana and Roberta leave without saying a word. Their looks understand themselves and await a point of light at the end of the tunnel. They cross the street in irregular steps, and the gloom covers the afternoon.

They sit at a table in a restaurant crowded with executives. Roberta smooths her long brown dyed hair and remembers she hasn't even looked in a mirror for 48 hours. Elegant in navy blue velvet pants and a silk blouse printed in neutral colors, heads for the bathroom. In the background, a man looks at her carefully: a well-defined body for her age, long and firm legs, and a breast lap showing, exuberantly pink. Undoubtedly, a captivating woman with a striking walk crosses the hall.

In the toilet she finds a brunette who looks at her with concern. Roberta wipes her face with a handkerchief, wiping away the tears that fall like lightning rain. It is a storm that passes through the destiny of the well-balanced, brand clothing store manager. Ashamed, she justifies herself in the mirror in front of the stranger.

– This hospital stuff finishes us up. My husband is there.

– My friend too, Junior.

Rosa straightens her hair in a bun. She puts on her “Hollywood star fleeing the paparazzi” glasses, but she can´t hide her distress.

– My friend went for routine exams. He's been my friend since I was a kid, when we played in high school. But what happened to your husband?

– Car accident. In fact, he was hit by a madman in the BR highway. We ran out of gas, he was pushing our car on the road and ... Don't even remind me.

– You´re nervous...

– It is true, possibly the effect of PMS together with remorse. I don't know, lately I've been out of my Earth address.

– Look, believe me. Everything will work out fine.

Rosa says goodbye and leaves, closing the toilet door carefully, ever so lightly like feathers. Roberta washes her face in search of immediate relief as if there could be an island of peace.

Tati looks for a spot in the restaurant to talk to her boyfriend on the cell phone. Ronaldo's voice is calm and rhythmic, which conveys his usual security, but she avoids lingering and looks around for her mother. Ronaldo insists on taking a company jet to Santos Dumont in Rio, but his girlfriend is tough. Controls herself all the time, but there is no more climate for both.

Roberta arrives and Tati hangs up the phone. Random affairs and denial are the artifices most used at this time.

– It was my editor on the phone, next week, the story is mine. – She conceals easily.

– You are so good at what you do, will they give you credit for the article this time?

– It depends on the material and how the final edition will look like. A today news theme forces the journalist to beat the others to the matter.

– It will be all right. – she says, remembering the comment from the girl in the bathroom.

– I already ordered for both of us. Fish fillet with passion fruit sauce, noisette potatoes and arugula salad with Italian tomatoes.

– Waiter, an orange juice.

– And a vodka – insinuates Roberta.

The two laugh in restrained emotion, leaving the waiter confused. At the end of the room, a gray-haired man gives Roberta a wink, and she despises him of the bat. The man realizes his failure but, not a bit shy, throws himself at another victim, a professional sitting at the barman's counter. The woman in a dress glued to the bluish black skin removes her leopard bag from the seat next to her, facilitating his approach.

Rosa approaches a nurse in the middle of a tumultuous corridor crowded with white coats. Her heart goes to her stomach and comes back in a spasm of fear. The employee is in a hurry, but is obliged to attend to her. Lucia is impatient, after all, it is not the task of a head nurse.

– I'm looking for a guy who came in last night, named Gilberto, he was shot.

– A boy named Gil arrived, he is in the infirmary.

– But a shot patient in the infirmary, why?

– Miss, the ICU was full, we only have twenty-six beds. The doctor is examining him now. Are you a relative?

– No, a friend of his. – disguises Rosa.

– Oh, ok, no one has come yet, could you tell the relatives? The emergency phone is this one, call later to get patient information! But for visits, relatives only.

– Was he operated on? Is he reacting? Where was the shot? Is he in any risk of his life? Nurse, Gilberto is like my brother. Please be human, at least that.

– I can only guarantee what's on the file.

Rosa gives up and finds Roberta at the elevator door. They exchange few phrases, pressed by other passengers.

– I need a favor, my friend Junior has no one and if you can give me news, call me, my phone is ...

People are in a hurry. The elevator doors close and take her hope away.

"So... Humanity is worth nothing but a sewer of cruelty and human remains ”, Rosa remembers a verse from her bedside book that fits like a glove.