Kitabı oku: «A Most Desirable M.D.», sayfa 2

Then Kane turned to her, and there was warm approval in his eyes. “It sounds great,” he said, and there was genuine pleasure in his tone. “And I appreciate the offer very much. How about I follow you in my car?”

She still couldn’t believe he was here. Kane Fortune. Sitting on her sofa beside her, empty cartons from the Chinese food on the small glass table in her dining area mute proof that he really had been here and eaten a meal with her. Right now he was toying with the end of a lock of her hair, which he’d teased her into taking down the minute they’d gotten into her house. “I like it down,” he’d said. And that had been enough for her.

He picked up the wine bottle they were sharing, indicating her glass, but she put a cautious hand over the rim of her glass. “Better not. I don’t do alcohol real well.”

He grinned, a pirate’s rakish smile. “Oh, good. Here, have some more.”

She laughed, tucking one foot beneath her and angling her body to face him more fully. “I think not.” It was an incredible, heady feeling, teasing and flirting with him. But it was time to help him now. She hadn’t forgotten the initial reason for this whole visit. It wasn’t as if it were a date, after all. “At the risk of wrecking the mood, I’d really like to hear what’s bothering you, if you’d still like to talk it out.”

He sobered immediately, the gold glints in his eyes dimming and his smile fading. “I don’t think I’d better get started. It’s a long and ugly story, as I said.”

“I’m a good listener, remember? And a good friend. And that’s what friends are for, to share burdens.” She put her hand on his arm, right on his bare skin, and rubbed her thumb lightly over the hair-roughened, sinewy flesh.

Kane put his hand over hers, squeezing lightly. “You’re a treasure, Allison. I value our friendship.”

The words were a balm to her hungry heart, the sweetest sounds she’d ever heard and the last ones she’d ever have expected. She hadn’t expected anything. She could never hope to have Kane’s love, but she was grateful at least to hold his friendship.

He sighed, removing his hand from atop hers and dropping his head back against the cushions of her sofa, slouching so his long body stretched bonelessly and his hip grazed the knee she’d drawn up beneath her. “You asked me about the Simonds’ baby this morning. And you were right. I was upset. Angry, too. I’ve spent years in school learning how to save pre-term infants, and it really gets to me when I fail.” He tried to smile, but the effort died before it really got going. “I guess I want to be God.”

She didn’t comment, but she kept her hand on his arm, lightly stroking as she sensed the tension within him.

“Anyway,” he went on, “I decided to sleep at my mother’s for the few hours before rounds, since her home is much closer to the hospital than mine. But I was awakened by a phone call.” His voice grew taut and angry and he stopped abruptly.

“Someone who made you mad,” she ventured.

“Someone who made me furious,” he corrected. “Only he didn’t know I was on the phone. He was talking to my mother.” His lips thinned and his nostrils flared in disgust. “It was my father. All of a sudden this creep who’s been gone for three decades just can’t wait to see us again.”

“But…why?”

“My sister.” He rolled his head toward Allison and their eyes met. His softened fondly and his tone was wry. “Gabrielle’s always been a soft touch. She has a little girl of her own now and she recently thought it only decent to let dear old Dad know. I have no idea how she found him but she invited him to come down here and visit.” His tone grew hard again. “I’d strangle her barehanded if I thought she had any idea what she started. But I know she was just following her heart.”

“So, your father’s coming to San Antonio?” She could see why he would be upset, but the fury that seemed to be so tightly coiled beneath the surface was almost too much. It wasn’t like Kane to overreact. And she should know, since she’d worked with him in situations where grieving people did all kinds of bizarre things, occasionally aimed at the hapless physician whose skill hadn’t been enough to save their loved one.

“Yeah, but that’s not the worst of it.” Kane sprang to his feet so quickly she jumped back, startled, and he began to pace the length of her small living area like a great tiger confined within a small cage. “He threatened my mother. Blackmailed her, actually.”

“Blackmailed?” It was so weird she just blurted it out. “What kind of secret could your mother have that would invite blackmail?”

He wheeled and looked across the room at her, and his eyes were wild. “My mother,” he said slowly, enunciating each syllable, “ran away from home when she was seventeen. She told us she just couldn’t get along with her father, but it turns out she was pregnant. She was headed for California but she got hung up in Nevada where she had her babies—twins, a boy and a girl—and gave them up for adoption. Actually,” he said, “she left them on the steps of the sheriff’s office with notes pinned to their blankets.”

“Your poor mother.” Allison’s heart was soft; she could imagine the young, pregnant woman’s desperation.

“Yeah. She was young, not even twenty, and I suppose she was about at rock bottom financially and too proud to go home—”

“And her self-esteem was probably rock bottom as well,” she interjected softly.

“Probably,” he agreed. “Soon afterward, she met my father. Lloyd Carter was a rodeo cowboy. They got married and I was born nine months later. By the time I was a year old, she was pregnant again. Very shortly after he found out, my prize of a father took off for greener pastures.”

The thought of a young woman, barely twenty years old and pregnant for the third time, probably grieving over her lost children and her poor choices, brought tears to Allison’s eyes. Instinctively, she reached out a hand to Kane, and he took it briefly, dropping back onto the couch beside her with his head in his hands.

“Carter’s threatened to tell the biological father about the twins,” he said. “If my mother doesn’t pay him fifty thousand.”

She sucked in a sharp, horrified breath. “Where in the world—” Then she remembered to whom she was speaking. “She has the money?”

Kane nodded. “But neither of us thinks that’ll be the end of the matter.” His voice shook with contained rage and he slammed one fist into the other. “I hate not being able to fix this! All my life I’ve tried to help, to make things easier for my mother.” His tone lowered and filled with such hopelessness that it tore at Allison’s heart. “And this time there’s not a thing I can do.”

“Oh, Kane, just being there for your mother is doing something.” Allison looped her arms around his shoulders and leaned her forehead against him, hugging him tightly. If only there was something she could do to relieve the anguish he was living!

“I can’t explain to you how strange it feels to know I have a brother and a sister out there somewhere whom I’ve never met. We’ll never share childhood memories,” he said slowly. “For my mother, it’s like it all happened yesterday. I had to sedate her. God, it was hellish.”

Allison urged him to her, cradling him and rocking instinctively as he reached for her, burying his head in her neck and clutching her so tightly she could barely breathe. For the longest time, she simply held him, loving the whisper of his warm breath over her neck and the hard clasp of his arms around her. If this was the closest she would ever get to Heaven, she was going to memorize every second of it to relive later when the real world and loneliness returned.

Kane moved then, and she started to withdraw her arms from around him, aware that this was probably more comfort than he’d needed or wanted. But before she could move away, he turned to her, lifting one large hand to cradle her cheek. “Thank you,” he whispered. “For listening.”

“You’re welcome.” But her voice died away to nothing. He was looking at her lips. She held herself perfectly, utterly still as he smoothed his thumb along her bottom lip, and then, as his head came down, she realized that Kane was going to kiss her.

Two

Allison was pliant and as still as a frightened doe beside him. Her mouth trembled beneath his, her lips stayed chastely closed. Kane wanted to devour every inch of her delectable body, and he had to force himself not to give in to the wild surge of unbridled lust that urged him to grab her and drag her down beneath him.

He knew this was wrong, that he was taking advantage of her friendship, and he knew he’d be sorry forever if he drove her away. But he couldn’t have stopped himself from kissing her if the world was ending. She was warm and sweet and soft and he needed her warmth to fill the cold ache inside him, needed her sweetness to counter the bitter surge of anger, needed her soft body to sheathe him and give him succor. He slid his tongue along the seam of her lips, using a little pressure, and to his delight, she slowly opened her mouth to admit him.

She was hesitant and shy, her tongue gently touching his at first, and it struck him that she’d never denied him anything. He still wasn’t sure what had possessed him to spill his family closet’s skeletons tonight, but it had felt so right to confide his fears and worries and furies, to give all those emotions into her care and let her wrap him in her own unique brand of comfort, that he didn’t question the impulse. Just as he didn’t question the direction in which he was moving now. It felt right. She felt right.

“Allison,” he muttered. “I need you.” He slid both arms around her and pulled her into his embrace, never ceasing his gentle tactical assault on her mouth. Please, please, his body begged, and he shivered with pleasure when her arms came around him more fully and her fingers speared into his hair, pressing his mouth harder on hers. He unleashed a bit more of the hungry beast prowling inside him then, thoroughly exploring her mouth with his tongue, dipping and licking and plunging repeatedly into her sweetness.

Her breath was coming faster; she twisted in his arms. He pressed her backward against the couch until she lay prone against the cushions and he lay half over her. Her body was lush and giving and he rubbed restlessly against her thigh as one hand came around to her blouse and tugged it free of her pants, slipping his palm over silky belly and the slight ridges of ribs until he reached the lower swell of a breast. He halted momentarily, afraid to startle her by moving too suddenly. But she didn’t appear to be skittish, and he slipped his fingers beneath the edge of her bra. Slowly, he filled his palm with soft, heavy woman flesh, almost groaning aloud as her tender nipple became a taut little nub beneath his stroking hand.

Carefully he eased his other hand from beneath her, all of his senses centered on the ultimate prize now. He unbuttoned his shirt one-handed and shrugged it back off his shoulders. When her small hands stroked over his bared flesh and explored his chest, he did groan beneath his breath, encouraging her without breaking the moment with words. Words were beyond him anyway; all he could do was feel. Her hands grew busier, yanking at his shirt until it was tossed aside on the floor.

And then it was his turn. He opened her shirt with the same dexterous touch he’d used on his own, still kissing and petting her, until he could shove the fabric away from her torso. She arched up, allowing him access to the clasp of her bra, and he thanked God for an old high school trick he’d perfected, of flicking open a bra fastening with one hand. The bra loosened. He tugged her toward him so she could shrug out of both garments and when she did, he drew away from her mouth for the first time, his hungry gaze devouring the bounty before him.

“You are so beautiful,” he whispered hoarsely. He’d been right about her breasts, and yet he’d been wrong. His imagination couldn’t begin to compare to the ripe, soft flesh that greeted him. He looked up from the full, perfect globes of her breasts tipped in the palest of pink crests, into her eyes, smiling at the look of stunned, hope-filled pleasure he saw there. “So beautiful,” he repeated. And then he lowered his head and took one of those tempting tips into his mouth. He suckled gently at first. She sucked in a sharp breath and cried out, and then her hand came up to hold his head to her as he increased the pull on her tender flesh, drawing her deep into his mouth and swirling his tongue around her. The gesture of acceptance inflamed him beyond restraint and finally he had to have more. He quickly unfastened her pants, opening them and shoving both her slacks and panties down and off in one motion.

For the first time, she appeared to withdraw a little, shrinking into herself the tiniest bit. Some men might not have noticed, might not have cared, but he wanted, needed Allison to be his in every way there was, to give him every ounce of her generous warmth and the passion he sensed unfurling within her. He spread one big hand on her belly, gentling her, raising his head and returning to persuade her with his lips on hers. His hand gradually inched down the soft plane of her abdomen until he was brushing the soft cloud of curls at her thighs.

His whole body tensed at the tantalizing touch. He wanted to slide down her slim length, to place his mouth on every inch of her fragrant, scented sweetness, but he knew she wasn’t ready for that. Instead, he simply extended one finger along the plump folds of flesh that protected her feminine secrets, gently increasing the pressure until her body gave way and admitted him to a hot, slick well of womanly Eden. He couldn’t prevent himself from groaning aloud this time.

He withdrew his hand from her to tear at the fastenings of his pants, struggling to free himself from the restricting fabric. When he fell heavily against her naked hip, the heat and silky texture of her skin was almost more than his aroused body could take. He levered himself over her, settling his weight on her and using his knees to press her legs apart.

When he reached down between them, she allowed him to position her for his entry, her arms still about his neck, her hair a wild halo around her. He tore his mouth from hers as he pressed forward, watching her eyes widen at the same time he felt her body’s moist, sweet welcome. He made several shallow forays in and out, his breathing coming in great gasping bellows. Then all control shattered and he pressed himself hard forward, sheathing himself in her until their bodies were pressed together and he was snugly caught.

She jerked involuntarily and a shattered “Oh!” burst from her lips.

He froze. Was she…had she been a virgin? He’d never even considered the possibility. And in truth, he couldn’t consider it now. He needed to move, and he needed her with him, but he didn’t think he was going to be able to wait. “Did I hurt you?” he ground out.

Stupid question. Of course he’d hurt her. He’d just taken her maidenhead with all the finesse of a charging bull.

But then she moved beneath him. Her arms, which had been resting on his biceps, slipped up to his shoulders, gently caressing the taut muscles there. “It’s all right. I want you to—go ahead.” The words were a mere whisper and he noticed she hadn’t answered his question. But his body was screaming for his attention and her permission was a powerful aphrodisiac heightening his urgent arousal. His control, usually an easy part of his sexual experiences, was shredded and fading; he could feel himself already on the edge, each small motion of her tight warm body a sensual torment to his ultra-sensitive flesh. With a muttered apology, he took her hips in his hands and set his mouth on hers, swallowing the sounds she made with his frantic kisses as he plunged in and drew back repeatedly. Her legs came up to clasp his hips and he shuddered as the movement pulled him deeper. And then the storm broke over his head and his back arched in the rhythms of release as his seed jetted deep, deep within her body, until he lay winded and still in the wake of the passing fury.

“Allison.” Kane sounded dazed. He lay heavily over her and she kept her arms linked tightly around him, her eyes closed, pressing herself into the amazing heat of his hard body, savoring the moments in which they were physically joined. But then he pulled away from her and all her strength couldn’t hold him. She winced at the drag of his flesh against her torn, tender opening, and he made a sound of frustration as he levered himself upright and left her. He stood, looking down at her, hands on hips and all she could do was lie in exhausted silence and take in the magnificence of his sculpted body for the first time.

“Why in hell didn’t you tell me you were a virgin?” His voice was a low growl. Her eyes shot to his and she shrank from the dark look in those golden depths.

“I didn’t think about it,” she said in a small voice, shifting a little to ease the discomfort between her thighs. “I was just…feeling.”

He snorted, but the ferocious scowl altered into a less forbidding expression. “Yeah,” he said. “I know what you mean.” His face softened even more, and he reached down and stroked the back of his knuckle down her cheek. “If I’d known, I would have been more gentle.”

“You were perfect,” she said fiercely. “Quit worrying about it, all right?”

“Not all right.” To her astonishment, he bent and slipped his arms beneath her, lifting her up against his bare chest and letting her hair cascade down over his shoulder and arm. He was hot and sweaty and rough with hair, and so exciting that she could feel her toes curl and her abdomen contract, despite the exhaustion that was fast returning.

He held her there a moment, inspecting her face, and then he dropped his head and nuzzled her lips again. “Next time we do this I’ll show you how it should have been done.”

She couldn’t have prevented the smile that broke free as she slipped her arms up around his neck to deepen the light kiss. And when he finally let her breathe again, she said, “Now?”

Kane gave a bark of laughter as he began to walk back toward the hallway. “For somebody who never let a man—”

“Stop!” She put a palm over his lips. “I was a virgin until a few minutes ago, remember?”

And his smile slipped a notch. His voice held a grim note when he answered her. “I’ll never forget.”

Kane took her to the bedroom she indicated, surprised somehow by how soft and feminine it was. He didn’t know why it surprised him and, remembering earlier when he’d seen her hair down for the first time, he felt vaguely ashamed that he’d misunderstood her so completely. In the workplace she was calm, quiet yet always efficient. He’d thought of her as someone, well, bland, and if he’d ever thought at all about her personal preferences, which he hadn’t, he’d have assumed they were quiet and bland as well. In the limited personal moments they’d shared in the past, he realized that she rarely turned the conversation to herself. She’d always encouraged him to talk about himself, and he’d taken full advantage of her generosity.

Now he looked around him with interest, absorbing the ambience, gleaning clues about who the woman in his arms really was. She lay in docile surrender against his chest, her head against his shoulder. As he looked down at her slender body, all he could think was that he never wanted this night to end. Never wanted to have to think of anything but the incredible pleasure her sweet body gave him.

But he did have to think of something else. She’d been a virgin. So he knew she wasn’t prepared for birth control. And he hadn’t given it a damn thought until he’d been so deep inside her there was no chance in hell he could stop. He and Allison could have created a new life.

A child. He wasn’t sure how he felt. He’d always known he wanted children, children to whom he could give the kind of childhood he’d never had. But how he felt wasn’t really the issue. The issue was that he was an honorable man. His mother had raised him that way, and since he’d met the other members of the Fortune family, he knew where the strong streak of responsibility came from. Rarely did a Fortune walk away from his responsibilities.

He thought of his mother, a teenager with twin infants, totally overwhelmed and alone in a strange city. She’d been sure her father would never accept her back again, pregnant and unmarried. Maybe some people would see it as a shirking of responsibilities, but he thought it was the ultimate act of honor to give up children for whom she knew she couldn’t provide, to hope that they’d be adopted by loving families with adequate resources that she hadn’t had.

Well, he had the resources. And no child of his would ever be given away. The woman in his arms could very well be carrying his child after this night so he’d marry her. He’d marry her. The solution was so simple! They’d get married as soon as he could arrange it.

He wasn’t going to have people counting backward on their fingers and coming up with the wrong conclusions. He’d been the butt of gossip much of his life, one way or another. No child of his was going to have to suffer the cruel talk he had.

You don’t really have a dad, do you? I bet your mom was never married at all. He forced his mind away from the remembered taunts. No, his child would never have to endure anything like that.

It was a good solution in more ways than one, he realized as he looked down at the woman in his arms. He couldn’t even begin to imagine the reasons that she might still have been a virgin at her age. But it couldn’t have been a casual choice. No, if Allison had given herself to him after so many years of chastity, then he had an obligation to treat her gift as the special treasure it had been.

Besides, he was thirty years old. Nothing would please his mother more than to have him settled and giving her grandchildren to spoil.

And she’d like Allison. No, she’d probably love Allison. She’d take one look and see the gentle, selfless spirit, the honesty and integrity, the bone-deep kindness that radiated from Allison, and she’d see what he saw: the perfect woman with whom to spend his life. Satisfaction filled him. He could already imagine her soothing presence in his home and he liked the image. He liked it a lot.

And Allison would be a wonderful mother for his children. He already knew she would be great with infants since he’d seen the careful tenderness with which she handled babies in the neonatal unit. She was soft and sweet, easygoing yet competent. He couldn’t find a better-suited woman to mother his children if he tried.

She shifted in his arms and as he pulled his thoughts back to the present, he saw apprehension fill her gaze before she looked away. She swallowed. “Thank you,” she said, raising a hand and gently cupping his cheek. “I won’t…won’t make this more than it was. I don’t want to make you feel obligated or uncomfortable.”

He arched an eyebrow. “Is that so?”

“No.” She rushed on. “It’s not as if—”

“Allison.”

She stopped, and her gaze came back to his.

“It’s too bad if you don’t want me to feel obligated because that’s exactly how I want you to feel.”

She hesitated, and he thought she might be holding her breath. “Meaning?”

“Meaning I want you to marry me.”

“What?” Her expression was so shocked he almost laughed.

“Marry me.”

She began to struggle in his arms and he pivoted, sitting on the edge of the bed and cradling her in his lap, controlling her until she stopped moving and lay against him again, her head on his shoulder, face turned up to his with a bewildered expression.

“Tonight…” he said. “Sex isn’t a casual thing for you. And we didn’t use birth control. I could have gotten you pregnant.”

“But…you don’t have to—you can’t marry me!” She looked completely panicked, her body stiff and uncomfortable against his.

“I know I don’t have to. I want to.” He dropped his head and sought her mouth, kissing her with deep intent until she was limp and pliant in his embrace and her arms came up to clutch at his neck as she returned his kisses. Then he lifted his head. “Say yes.”

She gazed at him for a long time, then closed her eyes. “You’re crazy. You’d hate being married to me.”

The flat certainty in her tone took him aback, but he noticed she hadn’t said she’d hate being married to him. “I’ve thought about it,” he told her, his hand slipping down to cover a breast, “and I wouldn’t hate it at all. I think we’re well suited. We’re great in bed and we get along well outside it, too.”

She blushed. “Those aren’t solid reasons to get married.” But she didn’t push his hand away.

“They’re better than some. Think about it,” he urged, a sense of urgency rushing through him, “and you’ll see I’m right. How many other men do you talk to the way we’ve talked?”

She was silent.

A new thought occurred to him. Were there other men whom she’d treated as sweetly and gently as she’d treated him in the course of their friendship? The idea didn’t set well. “How many other men—?” he began, but she cut him off.

“None,” she said. “But, Kane, I just don’t think you’ve really thought this through. You’re a Fortune.”

“Who cares what my last name is?” Dammit, what was wrong with her? She had to marry him. “Say yes,” he prompted, his fingers shaping her nipple, tugging and rolling the taut flesh, teasing himself as much as he was teasing her. “We’ll be good together. And if you’re pregnant, I’ll be delighted.”

Her eyes drooped, closed. She hesitated, then took a deep breath. “Yes.”

He thought she sounded more like she was agreeing to an execution than a wedding, but the relief that swamped him was so intense and unexpected that he couldn’t comment. What was going on here? It was only that she was so perfect for the role, he decided. He’d have to look a long time to find another woman who fit so well into his life. And he had neither the time nor the inclination to go wife-hunting.

He lifted her again, turned to the pretty spindle bed and laid her down, taking the time to spread her hair out over the pillow. Then he went to the bathroom he’d passed and found a washcloth, running it beneath warm water before he returned to the bedroom.

He was amused to see that she’d pulled a sheet over herself and even more amused that she protested when he tugged it away and began to clean her. “I’m going to be looking at you every day soon,” he said, “So you might as well put the modesty in the past.”

“I can’t,” she said, covering her face with her hands, and he chuckled, setting the washcloth aside.

“This hair,” he murmured, moving onto the mattress beside her and pulling her into his arms as he buried his face in the fragrant mass. “I can’t believe you hid this hair from me for four years.”

Allison didn’t speak, though he felt her smile against his throat. She’d said very little since they’d risen from the couch, and he had a moment’s sudden panic that he’d hurt her badly, even though she’d just agreed to marry him. He leaned over her, cupping the sweet weight of one breast in his hand again and absently brushing his thumb across the tip. “Are you sure you’re all right? I was too rough.”

“I’m okay,” she said, and once again that light wash of color stole up her cheeks.

He grinned. “How can you still blush?”

Now there were bright flags of color painting her complexion. “I don’t know,” she said helplessly, looking everywhere but at him.

“You know,” he said, his voice deepening in anticipation, “There are a lot more things we could do if you really want something to blush about.”

He’d expected her to hide her face in his shoulder and laugh, but instead, her green eyes fastened on his, filled with interest and rising desire. “Show me.”

His whole body leaped to attention. Relief rushed through him as he realized he really hadn’t hurt her, hadn’t frightened her, despite the lack of care he’d taken and the way he’d left her behind in his pursuit of fulfillment. This time, he thought, he’d make sure she was with him all the way. And he’d do it all for her.

So he did, pressing her back against the pillows and kissing his way over her from earlobe to tiny pink toe, sucking and nipping, running his tongue along the backs of her sensitive knees and then moving up to stroke and suckle her beautiful breasts. He smoothed his hands from her shoulders down to her wrists, then twined his fingers with hers and lifted them above her head, anchoring them there with one hand while he continued to explore her with the other. After a long while, he knelt near her feet and spread her legs, holding them apart with strong hands when she murmured a protest. And then the protests turned to moans as he kissed a path up the inside of one leg, slipping steadily up and up, lingering over the satiny flesh of her inner thighs, until finally, finally he put his mouth over her. He tasted her gently, inhaling her fragrant female scent. His tongue sought out the tiny pouting bump hidden within the damp blond curls, laving it gently until she was writhing beneath his mouth. Suddenly, he increased both the pressure and the rhythm and she arched and cried out as her body convulsed and she shook with her own release.

When she was calm again, he slipped up to gather her into his arms, nestling her head beneath his chin. “That,” he said, “was how it should have been for your first time.” He couldn’t change that, much to his regret. But the thought stole into his mind that after they married, this sweet, responsive, incredibly passionate woman would be in his bed every night, and the idea filled him with pleasure.