Hast du dich schon einmal gefragt, warum du so oft still hältst, durchhältst, weitermachst – auch wenn alles in dir eigentlich aufschreit? Warum du die Zähne zusammenbeißt, dich durch den Tag schleppst oder Konflikte vermeidest, obwohl du längst spürst, dass dir etwas nicht guttut? Diese stille Kraft des Ertragens ist in uns allen – doch sie ist nicht immer eine Stärke. Manchmal ist sie ein Zeichen dafür, dass wir verlernt haben, auf uns selbst zu hören.

Der Drang, durchzuhalten, hat viele Quellen. Oft beginnt er schon in der Kindheit. Vielleicht hast du gelernt: «Sei brav», «Reiß dich zusammen», «Stell dich nicht so an». Solche Sätze prägen sich ein wie unsichtbare Tattoos. Sie werden zu inneren Stimmen, die dich auch im Erwachsenenalter antreiben, zu funktionieren – koste es, was es wolle.

Erziehung ist ein starkes Fundament. Wenn du als Kind gelobt wurdest, weil du «tapfer» warst, obwohl du traurig oder wütend warst, dann verknüpft dein Unterbewusstsein diese Tapferkeit mit Anerkennung. Und weil du als Mensch nach Liebe und Zugehörigkeit strebst, wiederholst du diese Muster. Du beginnst zu glauben, dass deine Gefühle weniger wert sind als deine Leistung. Dass du erst geliebt wirst, wenn du «nicht zur Last fällst». So entsteht ein Drang, alles zu ertragen – nicht, weil du schwach bist, sondern weil du einst lernen musstest, dich anzupassen.

Auch die Gesellschaft hat ihre Finger im Spiel. Schau dich um: Wer wird gefeiert? Die Fleißigen. Die Unermüdlichen. Die «Macher», die sich selbst vergessen, um alles zu schaffen. In Social Media, in der Arbeitswelt, ja selbst in Freundeskreisen scheint es oft nur um Optimierung zu gehen. Müdigkeit, Zweifel oder emotionale Erschöpfung gelten schnell als Schwächen – und niemand will schwach wirken. Also trägst du weiter. Ein Lächeln auf den Lippen, während du innerlich vielleicht schon längst auf Reserve läufst.

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«Wie viel kann ich ertragen?», Aurelia Wolf benzeri kitaplar