Kitabı oku: «New Arrivals: Surprise Baby for Him», sayfa 8

Chapter Nine

AMY slept in and when she woke she was groggy-headed and exhausted after another agonisingly restless night.

The first thing she remembered was asking Seth to take her back to Tamundra today, and she was swamped by a cold wave of misery. Oh, God. How could she feel so lost-in-a-black-hole dreadful over a man she’d known for a few days?

Desperate to feel better, she sat up quickly, and saw that Bella’s bed was empty, just it had been yesterday.

But this morning Amy refused to panic—she knew Bella would be safe, playing with Seth in his room. Each day, the little girl was becoming more and more infatuated with him.

Funny about that.

Amy indulged in a huge yawn and slowly swung out of bed. She shuffled her feet into slippers and yawned again as she opened the wardrobe to get out her dressing gown. For once, she would be covered up when she said good morning to Mr Reardon.

The rain had stopped and the world outside was strangely quiet, but when she listened more carefully she could hear the now familiar birdcalls and the peep-peep-peeping of the tree frogs. She brushed her hair, tightened the knot in her dressing gown and went into the hallway and called to Bella.

There was no answering call from Seth’s bedroom.

Amy winced. After last night’s unhappy ‘discussion’, the last thing she wanted was to come face to face with Seth’s bare chest and his pyjama bottoms, but she had to make sure Bella was safe.

Gingerly, she tiptoed forward. ‘Bella, are you in there?’

Again, there was silence and another step showed her that the room was empty.

Amy stared at the huge unmade bed and rumpled sheets. Bella’s pink pig was lying on the carpet beside the bed and Amy’s heart swooped painfully. Where were they?

She told herself she wasn’t going to panic. She’d slept in quite late, so Bella and Seth had probably started their breakfast without her. Tugging the lapels of her dressing gown higher, she went down the hall to the kitchen, and found Ming putting the final touches to a fruit platter.

He turned and grinned at her. ‘You’ve had a good sleep in.’

‘I hope I haven’t held everyone up?’

He shook his head. ‘You’re the first to show up for breakfast.’

‘Really?’ She tried to ignore a spurt of fear. ‘Where are Seth and Bella?’

Ming frowned. ‘Seth’s down at the hangar, checking over the plane.’

‘The plane?’

‘He said something about flying you to Cairns today.’

Oh, yes, he would want to get rid of her by the fastest means possible, she thought unhappily.

‘I thought little Bella was with you,’ Ming said.

Now tendrils of true fear snaked around Amy’s heart. ‘I haven’t seen her. She’s not in our bedroom, and I’ve already checked Seth’s room. Do you think she could be at the hangar with him?’

‘I’d be surprised.’ Ming frowned. ‘But I guess it’s possible. There’s a phone line to the hangar. I’ll give him a call.’

‘Thanks. While you do that, I’ll start searching the rest of the house.’

Stomach churning, Amy went to the veranda first, checking behind furniture and pot plants and under the dining table in case Bella was playing hide and seek.

From the veranda railing she looked down into the fenced pool area, and was relieved to see that it was empty.

She was determined to remain calm and she went back to the bedroom she shared with Bella and checked beneath the beds and in the wardrobe. She checked the bathroom, then Seth’s bedroom and bathroom, where she caught a lingering waft of his aftershave. Bella wasn’t there.

In the hallway, she met Ming, looking worried. ‘Seth hasn’t seen Bella,’ he said. ‘He’s coming back to the house straight away.’

‘Have you checked any other rooms?’ She was beginning to feel frantic now.

‘I’ve checked my room and the study and the laundry,’ Ming said.

‘What about the pantry?’

‘Yes, I’ve had a good look in there. No luck, I’m afraid.’

‘I’ll check the gardens, then.’

Amy began to run and every fear she’d ever felt in her life paled into insignificance compared with the terrible, suffocating fear that filled her now. She couldn’t lose Bella. She simply couldn’t.

She mustn’t.

‘I’ll send Hans to start searching out the back,’ Ming called after her.

Heart in mouth, Amy flew down the steps. Bella couldn’t have disappeared. She had to be all right. She just had to.

‘Bella!’ she called as she rushed along wet paths between plants and shrubs still drooping after the rain. ‘Bella, where are you? Come on, sweetie, it’s time to stop hiding now.’

She kept telling herself that she would hear Bella’s giggling laughter very soon now. She would find the little girl toddling up a pathway, grinning happily, arms outstretched.

As she rounded a tall hibiscus bush, however, it wasn’t Bella she ran into, but Seth.

‘Hey,’ he said, gripping her arms to steady her. His blue eyes pierced her as he searched her face. ‘You haven’t found her yet?’

Amy shook her head and her mouth turned square as she tried not to cry. ‘I slept in, and by the time I woke up she was gone. I thought she was with you. Her toy pig’s in your room.’

He shook his head. ‘I was up very early.’

‘She must have gone looking for you, then. I don’t know where she is.’

‘Don’t worry,’ he said gently, and he pulled her against him and hugged her and she felt his heart beating hard above hers. ‘She can’t have got far. We’ll find her.’

‘She’s so little,’ she whispered, and to her horror she remembered the pythons out in the rainforest. Oh, it was too hard to be brave.

‘I’ll find her, Amy,’ Seth murmured, and he pressed a warm kiss to her cheek. ‘I promise.’

For a brief, thrilling instant, his big hand cradled her head against his shoulder and she closed her eyes, absorbing his strength and the musky warmth of his skin, the laundered cotton of his shirt, and she felt suddenly, wonderfully reassured.

‘You should wait at the house,’ he said as he released her. ‘Bella might turn up there at any moment. Don’t worry, Amy. Barney’s on his way. He’s a brilliant tracker, and Hans and Ming are already searching. We’ll find her.’

‘Good luck,’ she whispered as she watched his retreating figure, tall, broad-shouldered, lean-hipped. Competent…

As Seth hurried away his stomach was in knots. Sweat trickled down his back, and his mouth was dry as bulldust.

He was facing terrible truths he hadn’t fully acknowledged till this moment. He loved little Bella. Deeply, painfully.

She wasn’t simply a cute, sweet, baby girl—she was his flesh and blood. His family. The daughter of the man he’d loved as a father.

And—he’d fallen in love with Amy…

The savage, inescapable truth tore at his heart.

Amy didn’t deserve this worry. She’d turned her life upside down for Bella, and it was only because of Bella that she’d made this long journey north. He’d do anything to banish the awful fear from her eyes.

He’d told Amy that he’d find Bella and, by God, he would. He’d move heaven and earth to return the little girl safely into Amy’s arms.

But the child was so tiny and this place was so wild, and he was gripped by the worst kind of terror.

Amy went back to the veranda and sat on the top step, hugging her knees. She tried to pray, but her fear kept getting in the way.

She kept picturing Bella’s cheeky smiles and dancing blue eyes, kept hearing her highpitched voice singing off-key, kept remembering the joy of Bella’s little arms hugging her, the softness of her skin and the sweetness of her baby kisses.

How had she actually thought she could let her feelings for Seth get in the way of her responsibilities to Bella? How could she have been so sidetracked last night? So selfish?

Oh, heavens. Was Seth right when he’d said this was no place for a woman, or a child? There were snakes here, and crocodiles and dark, dangerous forests and—

She would go mad sitting still.

She jumped to her feet and began to pace. Appalling horrors crept into her thoughts, but she fought them back. She wouldn’t allow herself to think the worst. There were four experienced men out there searching for Bella. The child was only two, and she had little short legs. Seth was right; she couldn’t have gone far.

Could she?

She reached the end of the veranda for the third time, turned around for the third time, and was about to pace back when she heard a cry.

‘Cooee!’

Her heart leapt.

Running to the top of the steps, she heard another cry. It was Seth’s voice and he sounded elated, but she couldn’t make out the words.

Heart pounding, Amy gathered her dressing gown around her knees and flew down the steps, then dashed across the lawn in the direction of the voices.

Seth and Barney were coming towards her.

She saw a bundle in Seth’s arms.

‘Hi, Amy!’

Bella’s voice called to her in the bright, happy, eager and innocent way that she greeted everyone.

With a sob of joy, Amy stumbled towards the little group and there were hugs all round, for Bella, for Barney, for Seth.

Seth’s face was alight with laughter and Amy could sense his deep joy and relief, but when she looked into his eyes she saw something more—the dying glimmer of terror and pain and fear, mixed with a tenderness that pierced her heart. She burst into tears.

Breakfast was something of a celebration.

After Amy washed her face and changed into a T-shirt and jeans, she joined the others on the veranda. She was embarrassed by the way she’d cried all over Seth, but he’d been very sweet about it, offering her his handkerchief, and stroking her hair and trying to cheer her up by explaining that Bella had strayed only a little way down the main track.

Apparently, Bella had decided to go looking for ‘the kids’, as she called Barney and Celia’s two youngsters.

Now there were six on the veranda for breakfast—Barney and Ming and Hans, as well as Seth and Bella and Amy.

The men ate their way through a mountain of bacon and sausages and eggs, and they laughed and joked and fussed over Bella. Everyone, especially Seth, was trying to make light of the mishap now, but Amy knew she could never forget how horribly close they’d come to tragedy.

And sadly, Bella’s misadventure had proved Seth right.

If ever there was an experience that proved they didn’t belong here, this was it. She and Bella had caused all sorts of disruptions, and she didn’t want to put any of these men through that level of worry again.

She accepted now that it was time to go.

All too soon, breakfast was over and Barney, Ming and Hans were heading off to work.

‘I should say goodbye to you now,’ Amy said, forcing a smile.

The men looked surprised. Ming sent a concerned glance in Seth’s direction, but it was Barney who spoke. ‘You’re leaving already?’

Amy nodded, and avoided Seth’s eyes. ‘I’m afraid I have to get back to work, too.’

It should have been gratifying that these men appeared genuinely sorry to say goodbye, and Amy held onto her smile as she thanked them all again for their help in finding Bella. Hans offered to take Bella for a ride in his wheelbarrow, and he promised to keep a close eye on the little girl while Amy packed.

Seth waited until only he and Amy were left on the veranda before he said quietly, ‘You know you don’t have to rush away today.’

‘But I think it’s best, don’t you? As long as it suits you to fly today, of course.’ She turned to him and was dismayed by the bleak and lonely shadows in his eyes.

He looked so sad, and she thought, for one tingling, breath-robbing moment, that he was going to beg her to stay.

But almost immediately his air of sadness was replaced by nonchalance, and he shrugged. ‘I’ve checked over the plane and the airstrip. It’s not too boggy, and the sun’s out now, so it should be fine for take-off.’

‘What about the hire car I’ve left in Tamundra?’

‘I’ll get one of the men to run it down to Cairns when the rain stops.’

‘Thank you. I guess I should pack, then,’ she said in a small voice.

‘Take your time,’ Seth said coolly. ‘There’s no rush.’

But Amy had to rush. Her nerves were too frayed—she had no choice but to dash about her room, hunting for Bella’s toys and books, folding clothes, slipping spare shoes into bags and swiftly stacking them into their suitcases.

If she stopped for a moment she might think.

She didn’t want to think.

She’d done too much thinking here, and now it was time to hurry away before her mind—or her heart—imploded.

They set off midmorning, flying south into another bank of cloud. The hum of the motor and the steady vibration of the plane soon made Bella drowsy. Amy closed her eyes, too, and pretended to sleep.

It was cowardly, perhaps, to avoid conversation with Seth, but she was afraid she would become terribly emotional, and blurt out something that would embarrass them both.

Closing her eyes didn’t help, of course. Her mind kept going over and over the events of the last few days. She couldn’t believe it had been such a short time. She’d been through so much. She remembered her first meeting with Seth in the Tamundra pub, remembered the way Marie, the publican’s wife, had warned her about him.

Eyes that make you wonder…Marie had said, and, oh, boy, was she right.

Amy flashed to their first night here at Serenity when she’d told Seth that Bella was Rachel’s daughter, to the fireflies in the heart of the rainforest, that one deliberate stroke on her hand, the meals on the veranda, the kisses…Oh, dear heaven, the kisses…

And then, this morning’s drama.

Her chest ached when she remembered the depth of emotion she’d seen in Seth’s eyes when he’d brought Bella to her, and the ache became unbearable when she thought about the sadness and loneliness she’d witnessed as well.

She’d wanted to throw her arms around him, to hold him and to tell him that it didn’t have to be this way.

He could have them.

She and Bella would stay if he asked.

But she knew he wouldn’t ask. He’d been through enough tragedy. He wasn’t taking any more risks.

It was still raining in Cairns.

Apparently, it had been raining for days, and a blustery wind swept in from the sea, making Amy’s umbrella difficult to control as they ran across the tarmac in the general aviation area.

Seth had rung ahead and secured seats for her and Bella to fly direct to Melbourne, and they would be home by teatime.

Home. Already, Melbourne no longer felt like home.

With Seth in charge, everything proceeded like clockwork. He accompanied Amy and Bella to the domestic terminal, checked in their baggage and got their boarding passes.

He was especially attentive to Bella. When she spied a toy ‘rocking’ plane, he put two dollars in a coin slot and gave her a ride, and stood watching her with a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

He took them to a café and ordered apple juice and a cookie for Bella, and coffee with biscotti for Amy and himself. He was going out of his way to be helpful and Amy lost count of the number of times she said thank you.

Apart from thanking Seth, she said very little. Her tiredness and the aftershock of this morning’s crisis had taken their toll, and now the knowledge that very soon she would walk out of Seth’s life brought her to the edge of tears. It was far safer not to speak…

And yet as she watched Seth entertain Bella with a magic thumb-sliding trick she knew there were things that needed to be said.

‘Bella’s going to miss you,’ she told him.

He shrugged. ‘Little kids have short memories.’

‘I wouldn’t bank on that, Seth. She’s a bright little button. Besides, I won’t let her forget you. You’re her family.’

‘She’ll have you.’

Amy knew the flippancy in his voice was forced. He was putting on a brave face, pretending a coolness he didn’t feel.

‘Your family can provide her with all the aunts and uncles she needs,’ he said. ‘Grandparents, cousins. What more could she want?’

‘A father.’

He scowled and shook his head. ‘You know that’s not possible.’

‘But you’ve become her father figure, Seth. You’re important to her, even after such a short time.’

His response was a sharply indrawn breath.

‘I plan to keep in touch.’ Amy wasn’t sure how she managed to keep talking without breaking down. ‘I—I’ll make sure you don’t miss the milestones.’

‘When’s her birthday?’ he asked.

‘March the fourteenth.’

He nodded and Amy watched a cold shadow of sadness slip over his face.

‘But there’ll be other milestones, Seth. Starting kindergarten, school, learning to play the cello.’

His eyebrows rose sharply. ‘Cello?’ For a scant moment, he almost looked amused.

Amy shrugged. ‘Cello, ballet, pony club…Whatever. She’s bound to have interests.’

‘Yes,’ he agreed quietly.

‘As I said, I’ll keep in touch.’ Now her voice was definitely very scratchy and choked.

‘You do that,’ he said, ‘and I’ll come down for the special occasions.’

‘Or I can bring her back here.’

‘It’s probably better if I come down. It would be too disruptive for you to try to come all this way.’

She suppressed an unhappy sigh.

‘You’ll send me a copy of Rachel’s book, won’t you?’ he said.

‘Yes, of course.’ As she said this Amy realised with a nasty jolt that everything else that had happened had pushed Rachel’s book clear out of her thoughts. She shook her head at him. ‘Don’t look so worried, Seth. I’m sure we can trust Rachel.’

Too soon, their flight was being called for boarding. The shimmer in Seth’s eyes and the determined set of his mouth made Amy’s throat ache more painfully than ever.

What was there left to say? I’ve had a wonderful time was pitifully inadequate.

Seth carried Bella to the boarding gate and he cracked a crooked smile as he rubbed his nose against hers.

Amy looked at the narrow walkway leading to the plane. Passengers were hurrying along it, eager to be on their journey. But they were going to something, looking forward to their destinations, whereas Amy could only think that she was leaving. Going away. For ever.

Unable to hold back the impulse, she said, ‘You know, you could always put a fence around the homestead.’

The words tumbled out.

Seth looked stunned, and she felt foolish, but she was about to walk out of his life, so she had nothing to lose.

‘If you want to keep a child safe, all you have to do is put up a fence around the homestead,’ she told him. ‘Serenity could be as safe as a house in the suburbs.’

For a scant second Seth’s eyes flashed with a hopeful light, but it disappeared so quickly Amy wondered if she’d imagined it. He shook his head and his smile was a happy-sad mix of amusement and despair. ‘Amy, get on that plane.’

He gave Bella a kiss and then set her down, and as Amy took her chubby hand she was grateful that the little girl couldn’t really understand the concept of goodbye.

Seth’s eyes glittered too brightly. Amy felt the heat of his skin as he leaned close. She felt the warm pressure of his lips, just once on the corner of her mouth.

‘That kiss was goodbye and it was very nice to know you,’ he said softly.

Her eyes stung and her throat was so painful she could scarcely speak.

She couldn’t bear this. How was it possible to fall so deeply and completely in love with a man and still walk away from him?

‘One last thing, Seth.’ She tried for a smile and missed. ‘Just remember that we’re not the ones who are dead. We still have long lives to live. You, me and Bella.’

And then she turned, showed their boarding passes to the waiting flight attendant, and she held Bella’s hand very tightly as they went through the exit doors.