Kitabı oku: «Healing The Md's Heart», sayfa 3
“Fine, let me earn my keep, then. You three give me some space.”
Heeding the older woman, Lia gestured Duran and Cort toward the door. “We’ll just be a few minutes,” she reassured Noah, who was eyeing the nurse doubtfully. “Don’t worry, she’s only cranky with adults.”
“Forty years and I still get no respect,” the sassy, rotund nurse muttered as the others left the room.
“Is she—?” Duran nodded to the door.
“No worries,” Lia said. “She’s the best pediatric nurse we have. She just saves her bedside manner for the kids.”
Duran didn’t seem convinced but looked to Cort. “I would have called.”
“I’m sure you would have,” Cort said easily. “But I figured it would be harder for you to turn down my offer in person. This way you can’t hang up on me. So before you give me all the reasons why it won’t work, I’ll tell you that we’ve fixed it so you and Noah can stay at the ranch. My brother Josh used to live in one wing of the house. It’s three rooms and more than big enough for the two of you.”
“I don’t doubt it,” Duran said. “But this is all happening pretty fast. I’m not sure it’s the best place for Noah right now.”
“Trust me, the place is huge. You won’t have to see Jed or Del—my stepmother—if you don’t want to. Jed doesn’t get around much these days, and Del—” Cort grimaced at his mention of Jed Garrett’s wife. “Well, let’s just say she’ll be more than happy to stay out of your way.”
“Noah would probably love being around all the animals,” Lia put in.
Flicking a look at her, Duran said nothing for a moment. “You told Jed about me—us?”
For the first time, Cort looked uneasy. “Yeah, I told him everything. The timing wasn’t ideal. He’s been in Albuquerque for the past few days, seeing some specialist and won’t be back until late this afternoon, so I had to do it by phone. But he knows.”
“And?”
“And it was a shock. But like I predicted last night, once he got past the surprise, he was more than ready to bring two more sons into the family fold.”
Cort’s words and the troubled thread in his voice eroded Lia’s previous confidence that staying at the ranch would be best for Duran and Noah. She’d been thinking of his brothers, instead of remembering who their father was. Jed Garrett might be sick, but it hadn’t softened him, hadn’t, as far as she could tell, caused him to repent his life of taking what he wanted, discarding anything and anyone that had stood in his way of building Rancho Piñtada into one of the biggest and most successful ranch operations in New Mexico. That had included wives, lovers and his own sons, and it was only recently that there had been a tentative attempt on his part to reconcile with the family he’d had no use for.
Duran, though, seemed strong enough in his resolve to save his son to face down any challenge without blinking, even the devil in the form of his newfound father. She’d no doubt that although it might be an awkward and even contentious first meeting, he’d be more than a match for Jed.
“What do you think?” Cort asked her pointedly.
Not liking him putting her on the spot, especially when she was already at odds with Duran over this, Lia forced an even tone. “I think the decision is up to Duran.”
She thought she saw a flash of surprised gratitude in Duran’s eyes, replaced quickly by a conflicted hesitation. “It’s not that I don’t appreciate this—”
“I understand,” Cort said. “We all do, in one way or another. But you don’t know how long you’ll be here. Do you really want Noah living in a hotel for a month or more? Give it a night or two. If it doesn’t work, then we’ll figure out something that will.”
“You know why I’m here,” Duran reminded him. “If staying at the ranch doesn’t work out—”
“Then it doesn’t work out. It doesn’t have anything to do with helping Noah.”
“That’s all any of us want,” Lia couldn’t help adding. She didn’t know what to say that would convince Duran of his brothers’ sincerity. There wasn’t an easy way to describe the family the five of them had become despite the sins of their father that had nearly broken them apart forever.
She admired them, Sawyer, Rafe, Cort, Josh and Cruz. Somehow, against the odds and despite Jed, they had reconciled and become a true family. Lia envied them that, the bond they had.
And yet it would be tested once again, in a way none of them had expected. There were two more Garrett brothers now, strangers both, and one with a desperate need to find the person who could save his son’s life.
Yet the fierce resolve in Cort’s eyes answered the question of whether he and the others would stand together to help. “When you release Noah, they’re coming back to the ranch with me,” he said, leaving no room for argument. “You want to come along and help them get settled? You’d be best at explaining all the details of Noah’s illness and what we need to do for the testing. Laurel and the kids are going to be there, too. We thought they’d be company for Noah.”
Lia glanced at Duran, searching for a clue that he wanted her. He looked steadily back, seemingly searching himself before giving a brief nod. “Okay then, I’ll get the paperwork started. If you’re sure?” she asked him, still uncertain if he’d actually agreed to Cort’s plan.
“I’m not sure,” he said flatly. “But I’m not being given much of a choice.”
“Then don’t go.”
“No.” He shifted his gaze between her and Cort. “I’m going to give it a try, mostly because I promised Noah and I’m not going to go back on that.” Turning, his hand on the door, he started back to his son, and over his shoulder, without looking at either of them, said, “I just hope I’m not going to regret it.”
Five minutes after walking into the great room of Rancho Piñtada, Duran discovered the drawback to being raised an only child—being completely unprepared for the chaos and noise of a large family.
It was more than he’d hoped for. But it was also more than he’d anticipated, to the point that the combination of stress, lack of sleep, and being introduced to the confusing assembly of four of his brothers, Sawyer, Cort, Rafe and Josh and Cort’s wife Laurel and their four children, Tommy, Angela, Sophia and Quin, was beginning to feel overwhelming. The oldest brother, Cruz, had called to say he’d be a little late for the family meeting, and Duran could only be thankful for one less person in the room and hope he’d be coming alone.
Noah lingered at his side, looking both intimidated and excited. He stared wide-eyed as Tommy, who seemed to Duran to be about twelve or thirteen, played the role of Bigfoot, chasing his much younger siblings around the room. His son was used to a quiet house and often only his imagination and toys for company. He could feel Noah fairly quivering with anticipation, wanting to join in and yet unsure of whether he could or should.
Sidestepping out of the way as one of the girls dodged around him, Rafe gave Duran a knowing look. “Be glad we left the other ankle biters at home,” he commented with a shake of his head. “When they’re all together, it’s a lot worse.”
Duran briefly wondered exactly how many of them there were and then thought of Ry. From the little time he’d spent with his twin, he got the impression that for Ry, family ties—ties to anyone—were something to be avoided at all costs. He suspected for Ry, a meeting like this would be akin to slow torture.
“Tommy, why don’t you take Noah out and show him the new foal?” Laurel made the suggestion over the rising ruckus in the ranch great room, giving an exasperated shake of her head when it went unacknowledged by her oldest son. She turned to Duran. “Would that be all right with you? There’s a brand new baby on the ranch and she’s just beautiful.”
“I don’t—I’m not sure Noah is up to a long walk right now,” he hedged, trying for a diplomatic way to say no. Though he didn’t doubt Laurel meant well, he wasn’t ready to entrust his son to people he’d barely met, related or not.
Silently urging her to back him up he glanced at Lia, sitting to the other side of Noah.
He’d argued with himself, even up to the moment he was standing at the front door of the ranch, over whether her coming along was a good idea or not. He’d wanted her there, for Noah’s sake and his own.
She was Noah’s pediatrician, at least while they were here. Noah had had other doctors, but he sensed Lia cared more deeply for Noah. And that counted for a lot. Besides, he wanted her there, for Noah’s sake and his own, because her empathy for their situation and her knowing his brothers and Jed Garrett eased the difficulties of first meetings and explanations. Although they’d disagreed over his staying at the ranch, in his mind she was still his strongest supporter here, and he hoped in this, her understanding of the situation would lead her to add her own objections to Laurel’s suggestion.
“Can I go, Dad?” Noah tugged at his sleeve. “I feel fine now. Dr. Kerrigan said I was fine.” He turned to Lia in hopeful appeal.
“I said you were better,” Lia amended gently. Over Noah’s head, her eyes met Duran’s. “I don’t think a short walk would hurt, as long as you took it slow. But it’s up to your dad. He might want you to keep him company since he’s in a strange place and doesn’t really know anybody.”
“You’re here. He knows you,” Noah persisted. “Please, Dad. I want to go.”
“Noah—” His first instinct to say no battled with wanting to let Noah explore and enjoy being a part of a group of kids. It so rarely happened and he hated that his son had spent so much of his short life lonely.
“Please?” Noah looked over to where Tommy in his role of Bigfoot with Quin, a sturdy toddler, clinging to his back, was about to pounce on his little sisters and then at Duran with that wide-eyed pleading expression that never failed to break the back of Duran’s resolve.
“You don’t have to worry about Tommy,” Josh put in. “He’s as good as Rafe and me at knowin’ his way around the ranch. And since he’s the oldest, he’s had lots of practice at keepin’ an eye on the littler ones.”
“Tommy’s very responsible,” Laurel added, a touch of pride in her voice. Tommy’s mock ferocious snarl elicited high-pitched shrieks from the girls and Laurel winced. “Okay, enough. Tommy—stop growling.” She walked over and scooped up Quin. “The girls are getting completely out of control. Why don’t you take them and Noah on a walk to the barn and show Noah the new filly? Slowly, though, Noah just got out of the hospital.”
“Sure.” Tommy gestured to Noah, “Come on, let’s get outta here.”
“Take your sisters by the hand,” Cort insisted. “Don’t let them wander off.”
“Come on, Dad, they can—”
“Tommy.”
Cort’s tone was enough to silence his son. “Fine, I’ll take Angela and you take Sophie,” he told Noah, gently pushing the smallest girl toward him.
For a moment, Sophie contemplated Noah with big black eyes and then grinned. Noah looked to Duran and Duran smiled. “It’s okay. Take her hand and stay close. And no running, okay?”
Hesitantly, Noah pushed off the couch and stood there, staring at Sophie as if he wasn’t sure what part of her to hold on to.
With none of Noah’s reticence, Sophie grabbed his hand and tugged. “Let’s go see the pony!”
Then Noah beamed back and Duran knew he’d made the right choice. “No longer than an hour,” he said as his son let Sophie pull him toward the front door.
“You keep track of the time, Tommy,” Cort called to his son as the four kids made a noisy exit.
“He’ll be fine.” Without him noticing, Lia had shifted a little closer and spoke only for him, following his gaze to the empty place his son had just left.
She touched his hand, a brief brush of her fingers, intended to punctuate her reassurance, and for a moment, Duran had the urge to grasp hers as if she were the tether that would keep him anchored above the confusion of feelings and people and remind him of what was important.
Instead, he let the feeling pass and settled for a half nod, half shrug.
Although she smiled a little in return, her eyes were troubled. She answered some comment of Laurel’s but Duran felt and saw her watching him, slantways, pretending her attention was elsewhere but keeping him in view in a way that was almost protective.
Before he could decide how he felt about that, the front door flung open and a man strode in to join the company. From his strong resemblance to Sawyer and Cort, Duran guessed this was Cruz Déclan, his opinion justified a moment later when the man walked up and offered his hand as Duran got to his feet.
“You must be Duran,” he said. “I’m Cruz. Welcome to the family.”
The words were friendly enough but came with a wry twist that gave Duran the impression Cruz understood some of how he felt about being the outsider who suddenly found himself a part of a tight-knit family group.
Taking a chair opposite Duran, Cruz asked, “Looks like I beat Jed here.” He looked to Cort. “I heard you got voted the one to make the call last night. How’d he take it?”
“Like we expected,” Cort said. “Del on the other hand—”
“She isn’t takin’ it too well,” Josh finished for him.
Sawyer gave a short laugh. “Now there’s an understatement. Del is Josh’s mother,” he added for Duran’s benefit. “So we’re gonna let him handle her.”
“Just don’t take it personally if she’s less than warm and fuzzy,” Josh said, with an apologetic smile Duran’s way.
“I understand. It’s a difficult situation. If there’d been any other way—”
“We’re glad you found us,” Laurel said. She gently stroked Quin’s back where he lay, snuggled against her chest. “If there’s any chance one of us could help Noah…” Leaving the sentence unfinished, she looked at Quin, shaking her head, her eyes misty.
“I think we can all understand how you feel when it comes to your son,” Sawyer said quietly.
“I’ll get things lined up for the testing next week,” Lia said. “I know everyone here is more than willing.”
Duran’s brothers all nodded and made comments in full agreement. Their enthusiasm and open acceptance of him and Noah, and Lia’s determination to help him find what he most wanted for his son, wrapped around an empty place inside, warming it and filling it with feelings too tangled to recognize. For a moment, he couldn’t speak, gripped by a sense that he’d found a lot more than he’d ever bargained for here.
Before he could muster words of thanks around the catch in his throat, the front door opened again. And again, Duran recognized the features on the man’s face. Not so much because he strongly resembled any of his sons in the room, but because he was looking at an image of Ry—older, grayer, harder, but a reflection of his twin.
The clear proof of his identity was there and now he had to confront it face-to-face in the man who was his father.
Chapter Four
They stood facing each other and there didn’t seem to be a right thing to say.
The sense of imbalance Duran had been feeling since he started the search for his birth parents visited him now, more strongly than ever. He’d always been confident of who he was, where he belonged. The confrontations with his past, though, had stirred to life a stranger inside; someone, that if it hadn’t been for Noah, he wasn’t certain he would have wanted to know.
“Not sure what I expected,” Jed said at last. He came slowly into the room until he faced Duran. His blunt assessing look ended with a grunt and a shake of his head. “But it wasn’t you.”
“That’s pretty much what Ry said,” Duran told him, despite the circumstances a little amused at the similar reaction from his twin and the father neither of them had ever known. “You’d have a hard time guessing we were twins. There’s no question he’s your son, though. You’re more his twin than I am, at least in looks.”
Jed accepted that with a nod. “Who’s your mama?”
“Lucy Miller, or she was then. And the only place she’s my mother is on a birth certificate.”
“Maybe so. But you can’t change where you came from. Believe me, boy, I’ve tried.” Eyes narrowed as if he were peering into the past, Jed said after a moment, “I don’t recall a Lucy Miller.”
“One-night stands generally don’t leave much of an impression,” Duran said dryly. “She probably wouldn’t have remembered you, either, if you hadn’t given her two sons.”
“When?” The question was shot at Duran from behind Jed and for the first time Duran noticed the blond woman, fluffy white poodle clutched in her arm, still standing by the doorway. Duran guessed she had to be Jed’s wife, Del. When Duran didn’t answer her straightaway, Del spun on Jed. “When did you know her?”
“Like I said, I can’t recall. What’s it matter?”
Del’s painted mouth tightened. “People will be talking.”
“Let ’em. Not like they haven’t before.”
From the hard set of her face, Duran guessed whatever had been said about Jed Garrett in the past hadn’t been good. He had a pretty fair idea of what they’d be talking about this time, the speculation over whether or not Jed and Del had been married when Jed’s night with a stranger had produced two more Garrett sons. Judging Josh’s age as fairly close to his, there was a better than even chance they had. He couldn’t blame Del Garrett for resenting his suddenly showing up in Luna Hermosa. For Jed’s wife, meeting him face-to-face was unwelcome evidence her husband had cheated on her.
Before Del could counter Jed, though, Josh came up and took his mother by the arm. “How ’bout you come over to my place and tell Ellie and me all about your trip?” Del’s protesting didn’t start until Josh had her turned around and halfway out the door. Flashing a wink and a grin over his shoulder, he pulled the door closed on his mother’s increasingly loud sputtering.
“Damned woman’s gonna make a fuss about this,” Jed grumbled as he made his way to a chair, dropping heavily into the seat. He sent a scowl around the room at each of his sons, sparing only Duran. “And don’t any of you start. I’ll get enough grief from her to make up for the lot of you.” He fixed his attention back on Duran. “Cort says you’re here about your boy. What makes you so sure one of your brothers can help?”
“Because they are his brothers,” Lia spoke for him.
Duran had forgotten she was there behind him, now at his side, squarely facing Jed in a stance that clearly warned the older man to back off. He didn’t need her to fight his battles but she ignored his glance.
“A blood relative is more likely to be a match,” she persisted. “And if one of them is, it can save Noah’s life.”
“And then what?”
Lia bristled but Duran took her hand, squeezing lightly, trying to telegraph his appreciation for her defense in equal measure with insistence he handle this on his own.
“You either get what you want or you don’t,” Jed went on. “Is that gonna be the end of it?”
“You’re asking for something I can’t give right now,” Duran said, not knowing if Jed wanted him to say he’d stick around, acknowledge these strangers as family, but suspecting Jed wanted a commitment of that sort. Whether or not Jed had that in mind, Duran couldn’t promise, not now, maybe never.
“Let it go for now,” Cruz told Jed, undeterred by his father’s obvious irritation at his interruption. “Duran has enough to worry about without taking on all of us on top of it.”
Jed looked as if he wanted to argue. But after a moment, he shifted his glare from Cruz back to Duran. His gaze was speculative, and Duran realized he still held Lia’s hand and that she hadn’t made any attempt to let him go. Gently, Duran loosed his grip, briefly meeting her eyes before he broke their connection.
“I want to meet your brother,” Jed said. “Why isn’t he here?”
“This has got nothing to do with Ry. I don’t know him that well, but he doesn’t strike me as the social type. He wasn’t exactly thrilled to find out about me, let alone a whole family. We agreed we’d keep in touch but we haven’t gotten much further than that.”
“Your mama should’ve told me about you two.”
“Would it have made a difference?” Duran asked shortly. “Then?”
“Might’ve. I guess it makes more now.” Jed rubbed a hand over his jaw and weariness seemed to wash over him, weighing down his shoulders and taking the aggression out of his stance. He pushed himself to his feet. “Get settled in. We’ll talk more at dinner.”
Duran almost said no, thanks, he wasn’t staying, this wasn’t what he’d bargained on when he’d come to Luna Hermosa looking for help. But before he could voice any of it, Noah and his cousins came back in a burst of noise and energy. His focus turned to his son’s excited telling of his visit to the barns, and seeing the horses and a family of cats.
Seeing Noah’s excitement reminded him of why he was here and that it didn’t matter what price he had to pay for coming. The only thing that mattered to Duran was that Noah had a chance at a normal, happy life, free of hospitals and worries about what tomorrow would bring…that his son had a chance to live.
Lia decided that at some point in her life, she must have been forced to endure a worse dinner party, but she couldn’t remember when.
Once Noah returned and the family gathering started to break up, she’d planned to leave and avoid any more time with Jed and Del Garrett. A scant half an hour after Josh had led her away, Del had come back to the house, more upset than before, and flounced off to find Jed when she learned Duran and Noah would be temporary houseguests. Lia could only imagine the scene that followed and was more than ready to excuse herself for home.
It was Duran who stopped her.
She’d been surprised when he asked her to stay. But she accepted, deliberately refusing to think too much about her motivation, certain little about it was professional.
She let herself wonder about his reasons, though. She supposed it could have been as simple as wanting the support of the person he knew best in Luna Hermosa, though he and she were hardly much more than strangers. Apart from that, he’d given her the message several times that he didn’t need her involved in his personal life beyond her caring for Noah.
All through dinner he left her wondering, contributing little to the conversations, volunteering even less, particularly in response to Jed’s questioning. Cort, ever the family peacemaker, had done his best to smooth over the tensions, and the five kids provided some diversions. But Duran seemed distracted, his attention inward. Del was obviously in a temper and as a consequence, Jed was surlier than ever. Shortly after dinner, Cort and Laurel departed for home and Duran, seeing Noah’s yawns and eye rubbing, whisked him off to bed.
That left Lia in the awkward position of not wanting to leave without saying something to Duran, but not wanting to stay if it meant lingering in Del and Jed’s company. She finally settled on thanking them and then saying she wanted to check on Noah before she, too, went home.
Quickly navigating the long hallway that led to the west wing of the house, Lia tapped lightly on the door at the end of it, waiting for a few moments before Duran answered.
“I’m sorry,” he said, as he showed her in. “I didn’t mean to abandon you.”
“It’s okay. I just wanted to make sure Noah was all right before I left. And to say good-night.”
“He’s finally sleeping.” Duran glanced back at the closed door of one of the bedrooms. “It took awhile. He was tired but he’s had too much excitement for one day.”
“He seemed to enjoy himself, though. I think it was good for him to be with the other kids.”
“Is that your professional opinion?” Duran asked with a slight smile.
“It could be.” There were long moments of silence, weighted with things unsaid, and then Lia took a step back. “I should go. I’ll call you later about the testing once I’ve gotten a firm commitment on the time.”
“Lia…” In the dim light, his expression was unreadable, but she sensed his hesitation. “I know I keep asking, but would you stay? For just a little while? There’s a patio outside…” He let the suggestion trail off, leaving it to her to decide if any of this was a good idea.
She told herself there were no decisions to make—it was a bad idea, them alone together in a situation that could easily be misconstrued. Yet she succumbed too easily to the temptation to say yes and was nodding and following him out to the patio before the voice telling her to turn and leave could sound the alarm.
At the height of summer, the day’s heat had been brilliant, but in the deep evening darkness, the warmth had softened, tempered by a light breeze. Duran moved to stand by the low wall surrounding the patio, staring at the blended expanse of land and sky spread in front of them.
Uncertain of his mood, Lia tentatively approached him, taking a seat on the low wall a little distance from him. He hadn’t bothered with lights so she saw him largely in shadow, faintly lit by the dim aura of the lamp in the room behind and the pale glow of full moonlight in front.
“I hope this wasn’t a mistake,” he said, more to himself than to her.
“I don’t think so,” she said quietly. “This can be a good place, for you and for Noah. It could be healing in itself.”
“I’d say after today, the verdict is out on whether or not this is a good place for either of us,” he said, not looking at her.
“I didn’t mean here—the ranch—so much.” She followed his gaze. “I meant Luna Hermosa. It’s why I’ve stayed for so long. It’s the only place that’s ever felt like home.”
“You didn’t grow up here?”
“I didn’t grow up in any one place. My parents split up when I was three and I got bounced between the two of them. My mother in particular doesn’t like staying in one spot for too long.” The bitter edge to her words surprised her although she knew she’d been hoarding it up for years now. Quickly, she tried to bury it again, unwilling to expose her skeletons to Duran Forrester. “It doesn’t matter now. I hadn’t been here very long before I decided to adopt it as home.”
“I doubt Noah and I will ever call it home, but I’m going to give it a few days. At least until we know the test results.”
“I’ll try and make that happen as quickly as possible. I can imagine how you feel about having to wait, but if we can get everyone tested on Tuesday, we should know something by the end of next week, at the latest.”
He turned to her then. “I appreciate everything you’ve done, that you’re doing.”
“But…?”
“I wasn’t going to qualify it.”
“Not out loud. But I have the impression you think I’ve stepped in where I shouldn’t have. That I’ve gotten too involved in your personal business. Maybe I have,” she said before he could answer her. She could hear herself, knew she was doing what Nova had accused her of—throwing up obstacles to protect herself from getting in any deeper with Duran and his son. Standing up, she instinctively shifted toward the light and escape.
“Maybe you have,” Duran said, his flat agreement startling her, holding her in place. Then, with mingled regret and relief, when she thought she might be able to leave without having to confront her feelings, he knocked aside all her barriers with ridiculous ease. “But you care and I think you understand—”
“What it’s like to be afraid of losing someone you love?” she finished for him, and at his nod, thought, Oh, if you only knew.
“Duran…” She didn’t know what she was asking him, whether to stop or to continue.
He moved closer, close enough she had to look up to meet his steady gaze. Close enough for him to reach out, slowly, and trace his fingertips over her cheek.
“You’re not the only one who’s gone where they shouldn’t have,” he said softly.
“I don’t—” What? Feel this much, want this much, because of a man I hardly know? Unsettled, agitated by what she didn’t understand and her inability to control it, she finished, “I don’t know how to handle what’s happened between us. I didn’t expect to—care the way I do.”
“Neither did I. But it doesn’t seem to matter.”
“It’s the situation—Noah, and the timing, and your family,” she rushed out, grasping for a sensible explanation. “It makes everything seem more intense than it is.”
Looking doubtful, he said, “That’s part of it.”
“And you’re grateful—”
“I’m not that damned grateful, Lia.”
“You needed someone and I wanted to help.”
“No. That’s not it.”
Before she could find another reason to convince him that whatever imagined connection between them was nothing more than the heightened emotion of the circumstances, Duran slid his hand around her nape and kissed her.
She wanted it and it scared the hell out of her at the same time because of how much she wanted it. She could tell herself all day it was comfort he needed and she provided, but the feeling—too basic, too elemental—made that a lie. It was desire, although definitely not pure or simple. For long moments, she indulged it, leaning into his warmth, opening her mouth to his, taking as much as she gave because she knew it couldn’t last.
Stopping it herself would have been best. Instead, Duran abruptly ended it, letting her go and taking a step back. He looked slightly stunned, as if he couldn’t believe what he’d just done. “Lia—”
“Forget it.” Unable to look him straight in the eye, she turned away. Running a hand over her hair, she was annoyed to find it trembling. “It doesn’t mean anything.”
“Do you really believe that?” The demand for honesty in his voice compelled her to face him.
“No,” she answered truthfully, “but I need to try. I shouldn’t—none of this is very professional of me.”
“It hasn’t been very professional between us from the beginning.”
“And that makes it okay?”
“No, it complicates the hell out of things,” he said bluntly. “But it doesn’t change the way they are.”
