Kitabı oku: «In For Keeps / Under His Touch», sayfa 4
CHAPTER FOUR
“DID YOU SAY PARIS? You must mean the town in Texas, right?” Kiki’s father, Lawrence, chuckled over the phone.
“No, Dad, I mean the real deal,” Kiki said. Moving toward the window of her hotel room, she pulled the gauzy curtains wider to take in the nighttime view. The Eiffel Tower, lit up in the dark, was framed in the distance as perfectly as a postcard. She still couldn’t believe she was in the city she’d only ever dreamed of going to, staying at the famous Hotel George V no less. If only she could be experiencing its romance with Dev at her side instead of just in her head.
She banished the thought.
“I wish I could show it to you, Dad. Do you know what I had for lunch today? Two chocolate croissants. Well, it might have been three—”
“Three croissants, huh?” Lawrence cut in. “Is that just ‘when in Rome,’ or has something got you stressed out?”
Kiki sighed; she should have known she couldn’t get one by her father, who understood her better than anyone on earth. It was 5 p.m. back in Atlanta, and Kiki could just picture him sitting in his favorite armchair with his Time magazine and his black coffee. She could see the lines around his eyes that fanned out like rays of sunshine, the head of hair that was now fully gray. Looking at photos of him from when she was a toddler, it was hard to believe the person with the smooth skin and sandy hair holding her up like a prize was the same man. She knew her mother’s departure had aged him, even if he rarely talked about it. Lawrence Becker was a man of action more than words; when it became clear his wife wasn’t coming back, he’d simply risen to the task, doing his best to raise his only child on his own until he’d eventually remarried.
Kiki sighed. “I’m fine, Dad. My new job is...interesting. It’s just...” She paused, wondering how much she should say. Though she longed to spill her guts to someone about Dev, that was a conversation better saved for a girlfriend. But there was something else on her mind that she knew she could unload on her father. “This is a little crazy, but I found a woman who could be Mom. I haven’t reached out to her yet, but I will soon. And I guess I’m a little scared.”
Kiki knew there would be silence, but it seemed to stretch on forever. “Well. I know how important this is to you,” Lawrence replied finally. “I’ll say what I’ve always said about it—that if you find her, your life will never be the same. That’s not necessarily good or bad. Just be prepared, that’s all. She might not be what you’re expecting.”
“I know. And this woman is in Sydney, so it’s probably a dead end.” She hesitated. “Unless—unless you can think of any reason she’d end up there?” Kiki knew the question was as good as hypothetical, but she still had to ask it. Her father had always refused to say much about her mother—especially when it came to possible reasons for her leaving them—and while she admired his neutrality, she sometimes wished he’d be more forthcoming.
“Nothing comes to mind, honey. Sydney isn’t a place she ever mentioned.”
Kiki nodded resignedly. “That’s what I thought. But since I’m going to be there anyway...”
“Indeed. It’s worth a try.” When he paused, Kiki knew the subject was closed. “Deirdre will be sorry to have missed you,” Lawrence said after clearing his throat. “Why don’t I have her call you when she’s back from the library?”
“No, Dad, it’s okay. It’s almost midnight here and I have an early morning.” Kiki sank down on her bed, trying to ignore the familiar tug of guilt she always felt when it came to her stepmother. Her father had married Deirdre when Kiki was ten, and she’d tried hard to form a bond with her stepdaughter. But back then Kiki was still convinced her mother would return and that when she did, Deirdre would go right back to where she came from. And though logic and reason told her adult self that it was a ridiculous notion, wasn’t there a tiny part of her that still wanted it to be so?
After she hung up, Kiki sat on her bed staring at the wall in front of her. She’d booked the hotel rooms, so she knew Dev was on the other side of it.
Or was he?
She’d been avoiding him as much as she could since that night in his dressing room. It was an impossible situation. Sleeping with him again was sure to end in heartbreak, and watching him move on would be excruciating—either way, she lost. But she had to stop kicking herself for getting into this situation and keep her eye on the prize: Sydney.
Dev started awake from a thin sleep. How long had he been out? His bedside lamp was aglow and the Netflix show he’d been watching was still playing, showing a young couple in the middle of an argument. He’d probably only dozed off for a few minutes, as per his regular pattern of sleeping and waking throughout the night after a show.
Staring up at the ceiling, Dev focused on making sure his head was straight. One by one he recited the facts. He was in Paris. Tonight’s audience had been wild enough to get security involved when two women tried to climb the stage. His hand had been sore, so he’d taken a non-opioid painkiller along with his usual pills. After the show he’d downed two bottles of water and greeted a few VIP fans. Then he’d taken a limo to the George V for his last night in a hotel; as of tomorrow the band would be using their tour buses for the remainder of the European dates. And even if the idea of being on a metal tube for hours on end filled him with dread, at least it was familiar. It was something a little closer to home than this damn hotel room.
An Ambien would put him out. He should take one, he thought. But the fact that he hadn’t cracked that bottle yet felt like a small victory—even if it meant lying in bed drowning in regret and self-doubt. He gave his pillow a hearty punch and closed his eyes, wishing for oblivion. But instead, memories of his first tour tumbled through his head. Twenty years old, nearly a solid year on the road, homesick and scared shitless. After his first show, he’d learned to dull his nerves with whatever he could get his hands on to keep from disappointing anyone. He’d discovered that there were so many people to keep happy—his record label, his booking agent, his business manager, his tour manager, his fans, the press. He would have dropped out right then and there if it hadn’t been for the money he owed his record label. Something no one had told him before he got famous was that the million-dollar advance that had seemed so huge would get eaten up by recording fees, management, lawyers and taxes, leaving him with almost nothing. On the day his first album went platinum, he had less than five thousand dollars in his bank account and an increasing debt to his record label, forcing him to continue touring to pay it off. After that he’d figured out that even the most successful musicians didn’t get wealthy by playing music—they got it by accepting endorsements. Pushing everything from watches to guitars to foreign cars were what had padded his bank account over the years. That took care of his money troubles, but nothing could fix the homesickness and loneliness.
Dev opened his eyes again. On TV, the same couple who had been arguing were now furiously ripping each other’s clothes off, evidently having made up. Dev nearly groaned aloud. For a guy with a near-fucking-permanent hard-on, a year and a half minus his one night with Kiki was a hell of a long time to go without. Sometimes he thought it would be easier to just go back to his old ways, when he’d stay up all night partying with the band and fans before taking his pick from the gorgeous women presented to him to bring home. But everything had changed. After the shows everyone went home to their families now, even Scotty and Stuart, who got on to FaceTime with their wives and kids the moment they could escape. But for Dev, after being showered by attention all day long, home was an empty hotel room or tour bus. And he was so goddamned tired of it. He wanted his room, his bed, his life to be filled with another body—with her body. He rolled sideways, grabbed a pillow and chucked it across the room in frustration. The monster was raging hard in his head tonight, and fans were such an easy Band-Aid. They threw their numbers at the handlers, who always tucked them into their pockets for their own use if Dev wasn’t interested. One phone call to Chester would be all it took. Within thirty minutes, he could have three women in his bed if he wanted to.
Fuck it. He wasn’t going to get through to Kiki.
Or was he?
Dev sat up in bed. He knew one sure way to find out.
CHAPTER FIVE
KIKI WAS AFRAID she might get sick.
Bringing a hand to her stomach to steady herself, she left her tour bus and started across the underground parking lot of Milan’s San Siro Stadium. The last person in the world she wanted to see right now was Dev, but unless she was prepared to get on a plane back to Moretta she had little choice. Her job revolved around him, and she wasn’t about to sacrifice her entire reason for coming on the tour when Sydney was just around the corner. So she would face him and get her revenge by pretending his little stunt last night hadn’t even bothered her. She’d dressed for the occasion in a plunging V-necked pink sweater, a short denim skirt and knee-high boots. Her plan was to make Dev feel like the shit stain he was by being her usual friendly self with a little added sexiness, and then tonight she’d have a little fun herself. There were plenty of hot guys around—she was in Italy, for Christ’s sake, where she couldn’t cross a street without twenty men tripping over their dicks at the sight of her.
So she told herself, but Kiki had never been good at tough self-talk. Her heart hammered with each step that brought her closer to him. She tried to calm herself by listening to the sound of her heels clicking across the concrete. The bus drivers, off duty until the end of the show, leaned against a pillar smoking cigarettes. She was still recovering from her first tour bus commute, which had taken nine hours and all of her strength to refrain from strangling her twelve fellow crew members.
The buses themselves were built for comfort—hers even featured an entire second floor for the sleeping quarters—but the living space made for a forced sociability that was absent on airplane travel. Upon arrival, she’d barely ejected herself from the bus when the crew swung into high gear. The logistics that went into getting a show up and running were mind-boggling. Dev traveled with a convoy of eight tour buses to transport his team of nearly a hundred people including audio, video, stage and lighting managers, riggers, technicians, carpenters, electricians, wardrobe, security, catering and management staff. The equipment arrived separately and was met by a locally hired crew of workers at each city, who had to work at a relentless pace to get everything ready on time. Right now the crew was setting up inside, and Stuart and Scotty had chosen to hang out in their bus until showtime. But Dev was waiting for her in the building, and as Kiki headed up the stairs to the backstage maze, her stomach twisted hard enough to make her whimper aloud.
She fucking hated him.
Last night, as the first moans of passion had reached her ears, she’d thought she was literally going to vomit. Even if she had told him he needed to stay away from her, she’d also admitted how much she wanted him—and he’d slapped her right in the goddamned privates with it. As she lay in bed listening to the agonizing sound of his desire for someone else, she told herself that she’d been right all along. She’d known he’d go back to his old ways, and the only thing that had surprised her was the dizzying heights of his insensitively.
She clacked up the stairs and wove her way through the hive of backstage activity to Dev’s dressing room. Then she smoothed her hair over her shoulders, willed her heart to stop beating like a war drum and knocked on the door.
“Come in!” Dev shouted. She entered the room and forced a carefree smile.
Dev was sitting on a sofa, casually strumming an acoustic guitar as if he hadn’t busted her world apart last night. She took in his dark jeans, his studded belt and bare torso. Against her will, her eyes fell from his broad shoulders to the light hair on his pecs. To her fury, she felt a jolt shoot straight to her clit. How could she possibly still be attracted to him after what he’d done?
Kiki pulled her iPhone out of her handbag. She’d been planning to put on a bit of a show—look at him under long lashes, slide a hand suggestively up her thigh to remind him of what he’d never have again—but now that she was here it was all she could do to stay upright. Her emotions had her in complete turmoil. For the first time ever, she found herself wishing for the game-playing revenge skills she knew some women possessed. “Uh,” she began awkwardly. “We didn’t have time to do a post before last night’s show. A quick shot of you on your guitar is fine.” She lifted her phone, ready to take the picture and make a dash for the door, but Dev put his instrument aside and walked over to her.
“I can’t get my photo taken,” he said, stopping right inside her personal space. “I’m not even dressed.”
She narrowed her eyes at him, willing them not to drop to his chest, his biceps...the same body he’d shared with someone else last night. Fuck him. He’d known she was in the next room, and whatever their relationship may or may not be, what he’d done was downright cruel. Worse, he’d ruined the memory of their one beautiful night together. To Kiki’s horror, she felt tears spring to her eyes. She blinked them back furiously and held her phone up in front of Dev’s face. “Then tell your manager that—he requested it.”
Dev flicked his gaze to the text from Bix: Get Dev in his DR for snap. “Bix would have me promoting myself while I sat on the toilet if he could,” Dev responded.
“Have it your way.” She was turning toward the door when Dev caught her by the arm.
“Hey—”
Kiki ripped out of his grip. “Do not fucking touch me!” She was shaking with a fury she didn’t even know she had in her. Dev’s face registered shock as she backed away from him. “I actually thought you were a great guy. To think that—that I had feelings for you! That I actually thought our night together was something special!”
“Kiki—”
“And then you fuck someone in the room right beside me? And you don’t even have the decency to keep it quiet? You knew I was next door! Jesus Christ! I was so wrong about you!”
“But I—”
“Groupie days behind you? As if! Maybe you can fool yourself into thinking you’ve changed, but it’s pretty obvious that once you’re back on the road you haven’t! How can you even—?”
“Kiki, please! Stop! I was an asshole, okay? I went too far.” She paused her tirade long enough to see that he had real regret in his face—as if that could make a difference. “Yes, you did, and you’re despicable,” she spat as her walkie-talkie blared to life.
“Thirty minutes,” came a male voice from her back pocket. Kiki pulled the device out. “Copy that,” she said, and then she shoved it away again and went for the door handle.
“Wait. Please.” Dev’s voice was pleading. “It was stupid. I just... I don’t know, I thought it might remind you what you were missing out on.”
The fucking audacity. Her jaw dropped as she turned back to him. He was looking down at his cell phone, swiping at the screen furiously. “What I was missing out on?”
“Yeah. Here.” Dev hit a button on his phone and held it up. On the screen was a bird’s-eye view of a woman straddling a man, going for it full throttle. And the sex sounds were the exact same ones she’d heard last night. “It was a movie,” he said sheepishly. “I might have cranked the volume up a bit. It was a total jackass thing to do.”
“You...?” Kiki brought a hand up to her mouth as her mind busily reordered everything she’d believed. So he hadn’t slept with anyone, but—“You tried to trap me?”
“I just wanted to know if you care, okay? I’m so—Jesus Christ, Kiki! I’m so fucking frustrated!” He punched his phone through the air.
Kiki wasn’t sure if it was because of relief or anger, but the tears she’d been holding back started spilling over. She did care—of course she did. And it had never been more apparent than in the past ten minutes. “So am I, Dev. And I...” A tear tracked down her cheek. He reached out and traced it with a finger, and then he slipped a hand under her chin. His eyes probed her face.
“What is it?” he asked.
Kiki’s chest filled with emotion. His voice was so gentle, gentle enough to make her want to spill all her secrets. She couldn’t do that, but she also couldn’t deny her desire for him any longer.
Standing on tiptoe, she reached up and pressed her lips to his. His mouth stayed firm for a moment, like he was waiting to see if she was really sure about this. And that just made her want him more. That he hadn’t made a move on her. That he’d been totally respectful of her, even if he couldn’t help what might have gone on in his pants. And that he’d gone about trying to prove her feelings for him in such a ridiculous, juvenile way.
She broke away from him and started laughing. Dev looked at her in surprise, and then he started laughing with her. He picked her up and lifted her off the floor, burying his face in her hair. “Jesus, Strawberry, what are you doing to me?”
“I don’t know, but I seriously need to get off this emotional roller coaster.”
He brought his forehead to hers. “You don’t need to ride it anymore,” he whispered. “All you need to do is let this happen.”
Then his mouth was on hers, confident this time. And so hungry for her, as if he were wrapping all the longing and uncertainly of the past five weeks into one perfect kiss. Hard and demanding, and yet soft at the same time. She brought her legs around his hips, pressing her body into his as if she could meld them into one. The bare skin of his chest felt heavenly against her. She opened up to him, making a ravenous sound in her throat as he bit at her lips with increasing urgency.
“I thought I’d never get to do this again,” he whispered hoarsely into her mouth. “Do you have any idea how much I’ve dreamed of you?”
His words were sweet music to Kiki’s ears. All the reasons she thought they couldn’t be together fell away into the abyss of their passion. “I couldn’t stay away from you if my life depended on it,” she rasped, throwing her head back as she dissolved under his touch. Dev’s tongue trailed down her neck. Still holding her around him with one arm, he made an animal sound when his other hand found her breast. She could feel his erection pressing into her groin. She forced herself not to rub against it like a desperately horny fifteen-year-old. “I’ll make you late,” she breathed.
“We’ve got plenty of time,” Dev replied, applying just enough pressure with his hips to make her lose her mind. “If I can’t walk on that stage tonight smelling like you, I’m not going on at all.”
“Then I guess you’ll have to cancel,” she teased.
“Are you really prepared to be responsible for disappointing fifty thousand fans?” His hand was sliding up her thigh now, making its way toward her panties.
She dropped her hand from his neck to his cock, which was now straining against his jeans in all its glory. She plunged her hand into his pants and watched his face go slack with lust as her hand wrapped around him. “Okay, rock star, you win.”
CHAPTER SIX
FIFTEEN MINUTES. THAT’S how long Dev knew he’d have until his stage manager came knocking on his door. But right now there was only Kiki and him. Dev’s entire world shrank down to this small room where their intense longing was all that mattered.
More of her. Finally.
When her ass hit the dressing table, she’d already yanked her skirt up around her waist. With her boots still on, she brought her feet up on the table and leaned back against the mirror. Then she spread her legs wide to give him a perfect view. Hot desire ripped through Dev’s synapses when he saw the wetness on her thong. He rubbed a hand over his erection, which was straining painfully against his jeans.
“That tight pussy,” he murmured, reaching for her panties. “Do you know how many nights I’ve pretended my hand was you?”
“I’ve had a few sleepless nights myself,” Kiki breathed, squirming as he cupped her right there. She bucked into his hand and let out a tortured moan when it hit exactly the right spot. “Rip it. Just fucking rip it off,” she choked out. “I need you now.”
“If you insist,” Dev said thickly, curling his hand around the pink garment. He yanked hard, and he heard the thin fabric snap as it pulled off in one swift motion. Then he dragged her hips toward him until she was balanced on the edge of the table with full access to her beautiful sweet spot. Like a man possessed, he brought his mouth down on hers again while his fingers went inside her.
She moaned as he drew her wetness up to circle her clit. Her body started to tremble as she arched backward, her chest heaving with barely controlled desire.
“My sweet little strawberry, I can’t wait to taste you again,” he whispered into her ear.
“Next time. Please, Dev. Just fuck me. I’m dying for you.”
Next time. And just when he thought it couldn’t get any better.
Kiki’s hands were at his belt buckle. He heard the arousing sound of his fly unzipping, and then he was in her hands, so hard he ached.
“Tell me you have a condom somewhere,” she pleaded.
Dev fumbled a drawer open on the dressing table. He’d yet to occupy a dressing room that wasn’t fully stashed with condoms, and thankfully this one was no exception. He snatched one, ripped the package open and got it on. His heart was pounding like an animal in heat. That face, that body, that pussy—he wanted to possess all of it. He pressed himself into her so his cock was lying against her clit. “Do you remember how I felt inside you?” he murmured, locking his eyes on hers.
“Perfectly. Now fuck me, Dev, or I swear to God I’ll finger myself again. But this time I’ll make you watch until I—” The words died on her lips as he moved his cock to her opening and pushed himself inside her.
Something akin to savageness overtook his body as he felt her heat envelop him. She felt even better than he remembered, the most incredible heaven on earth he could imagine. They were perfect together—so fucking perfect it defied all logic. Leaning forward on his arms, he drove into her again and again, ripping sweet whimpers from her swollen lips. His belt buckle banged loudly against the table, punctuating every amazing thrust. Kiki’s head fell to the side, her hair sweeping over his shoulder. “Yes, yes, yes!” she cried, meeting him thrust for thrust. Her breath was as quick as his as they desperately chased their long-overdue release. “Don’t stop, Dev. Do not fucking stop.”
He had no plans to, but the sight of her was driving him dangerously close to the edge. Beautiful. Primal. Completely consumed by pleasure. It was almost too much, and yet not enough. When his desire threatened to topple his control, he grabbed her hands and brought them above her head. She gasped, laid open, and brought her legs around his hips to pull him in deeper. The feel of her leather boots on his bare ass urged him ever forward. Every muscle in his body strained toward his own pleasure, but it wasn’t nearly as important to him as hers.
“Five minutes,” cracked the walkie-talkie. As Dev slowed his relentless pace for one stroke, Kiki grinned at him devilishly. “Should I tell them you’re coming?”
“I’d rather just do it,” he said breathlessly. He was so close, but he didn’t want it to end yet.
“Good. Because I’m about to,” she moaned.
Dev watched her face as he circled his groin against her clit. Her mouth fell open, her body tensed and she contracted around him, bringing him to the point of no return. He exploded as he anchored into her, riding crest after crest of melting heat that singed his synapses all the way to his fingers and toes.
The best fucking orgasm of his life, and all he wanted was to do it all over again.
His breath was gone. As he recovered, he let Kiki’s hands slide down. Then he picked them up and kissed her palms, one after the other. “I want you there with me tonight,” he said. “Right where I can see you.”
An hour into Dev’s show, Kiki could still feel him between her legs. Her climax had been close to an earthquake, but it had done nothing to tame her raging libido. Of course, the fact that she was wearing a thigh-skimming skirt with no underwear didn’t help matters. She felt naughty and wild, built for pure pleasure. Every cell of her body was hypersensitive, culminating at her clit, where she felt like she could come again at the brush of a hand. Dev’s hand. No other man could make her feel the way he did, which meant she was in very deep trouble.
In the wings, the roar of the crowd was deafening. Thick smoke from cigarettes, marijuana and the dry ice that was part of the show clogged the air. Kiki stared at Dev, mesmerized at the sight of his fingers flying over his red Gibson. He played his instrument just like he’d played her body, building and building the excitement until it practically begged for mercy. But it wasn’t just his charisma that was so sexy—it was his utter comfort up on that stage, like he was born to do this. For Kiki, who quaked at the thought of giving a mere dinner toast, the idea that he could handle such a relentlessly bright spotlight was a massive turn-on. Which was just one reason the rest of the world loved him—not just her.
“It’s one of his greatest talents,” a voice said loudly in her ear. She turned to see Bix beside her, hands shoved in his pockets as he looked out at Dev. Fuck. If there was one thing that could put a damper on her arousal, it had just shown up. She grasped the hem of her skirt and yanked it down.
“What is?” she replied, shouting above the noise to be heard.
“His ability to make every woman out there feel like she’s the only one in the room.”
Kiki looked away. She didn’t know if Bix somehow knew about Dev and her or was only guessing, but his message was clear: there was nothing special about her. She recognized a cheap attempt at relationship sabotage when she saw it, but why should Bix care? Did he just make a habit of treating anyone who dared get within arm’s length of his best client as if they were so much trash?
“I hadn’t noticed,” she replied, attempting to make her shouting voice indifferent.
“He makes it look easy out there, but no one appreciates how hard he works. Harder than anyone I know. I’d hate to imagine how empty his life would be without that stage.” Kiki felt his eyes on the side of her face before he turned on his heel and exited through the side door. She rolled his words around in her head, searching for their true meaning. Even if she wasn’t exactly sure what it was, it was clear Bix wanted her to keep her distance from Dev. But she’d tried that. And even if she felt pathetically weak to have given in to him again, right now she hardly cared. It’s not like they were talking marriage, they were both just enjoying the fuck out of each other’s bodies.
Except that it was more than that, and Kiki knew it.
She pushed that knowledge from her head.
The crowd was losing its shit. The last song had ended, and Stuart was now starting in on a drum solo. She saw Dev toss his guitar aside and stride off the stage under the cover of darkness. He came straight for her, grabbing her hips to bump her back against the wall. “You’re fucking killing me. I’m rock hard up there from thinking of you,” he growled into her ear.
He wasn’t lying—she could feel it pressing into her belly. She went wet all over again. “I wish you could fuck me again right now.”
He made a tortured sound in his throat. “This drum solo is four minutes long. Just enough time to make you come.”
Her belly flopped over. Was he serious? She’d barely got the thought out when his hand was under her skirt. “I could get used to this easy access.”
Kiki took a quick look around before her intense arousal could sweep all good sense away. The space was dark and sparsely occupied. To anyone around them it probably just looked like he was leaning in close to her to be heard.
At least that’s what she told herself because she was helpless to stop anything that felt this good. As Dev sunk a finger into her wetness, she felt like she might collapse with desire. Her body went rigid as he massaged her clit with expert strokes, driving her toward her orgasm with breakneck speed. She couldn’t help another glance around. Was she really doing this? It was loud onstage, but what if someone heard her?
As if reading her mind, Dev moved so his shoulder was against her mouth. She inhaled the heady scent of his sweat and aftershave. His cock pressed firmly into her thigh. “Think about how good I felt inside you,” he said hoarsely. “Think about how hard I’m going to fuck you later. And then let me feel you come.”
She was almost there. Dev’s fingers moved in and out of her with a rhythmic thrust while his thumb maintained just enough pressure on her ultrasensitive clit. The heat built until it burst at her center, bucking her against the wall. Goose bumps crawled up her spine. Jesus. She muffled her whimper with an open mouth against his shirt.
“Exactly what I needed,” Dev said, gently slipping his hand out of her. “Meet me in my bus after the show.”
