Kitabı oku: «Under His Touch», sayfa 2
She instantly switches back into professional mode and pulls a laptop from her bag. She sets it between us and boots it up. “Are there any particular dating sites you prefer?”
“Never been on one.”
She clicks a few buttons. “I’ve not had much luck myself—”
“You use dating sites?” Why the hell would a woman like Megan need to use a dating site? She must have men falling at her feet.
“I have in the past,” she admits.
I pinch the bridge of my nose, and glance at the barista, anything to keep my mind off Megan in bed with another man. I have no hold on her. She can date any guy she likes, but goddammit, the thought of any man’s hands but mine on her still bothers me. Eight years later.
“I see the ads for that Match Made in Heaven site all the time,” I say. “Should we try that?”
“It’s a good jumping-off point. If we don’t get any matches, we can set you up elsewhere. Although I’m sure you’ll have a million matches in the first hour.”
“What makes you think that?”
“Look at you,” she blurts out. Her gaze moves from my chest to my face. “Ah, I mean, you’re not bad to look at, and you’re successful. All we need is a catchy bio. Let’s have a look at it, see what other criteria I might need before I set you up.” She points to the seat beside her. “Why don’t you sit here, so we can look at the screen together.”
“Coffee first. We might be here for a while. Do you want something?”
Her gaze slides to her empty cup. “I guess I’ll have another mocha latte.”
She reaches for her purse, but I hold my hand up to stop her. “I got it,” I say and walk away, needing a moment to pull myself together before I sit close to her.
I order our drinks, and as the barista makes them, I grab a lemon-filled doughnut and a piece of cheesecake. I press my Apple Watch to the payment terminal and hold until it vibrates. After the charge goes through, I carry the sweets to our table.
She shakes her head. “I didn’t want—”
“They’re for me. I came here straight from the gym and I’m starving. The barista will bring our coffee over.”
I lower myself into the seat next to her, and her sweet scent reaches my nose. I devour her with my eyes and throw up a silent prayer. Sweet mother of God, give me strength. Her gaze goes from the pastries, to my fork. Her eyes narrow in on the silverware, and her fingers curls into fists.
“You got something against my fork?” I ask.
“No.” She shakes her head as if to clear it. “I was just remembering my mom’s Philly cheesecake,” she adds, and I get the sense she’s redirecting the conversation. “Best in the world, and that’s not a very healthy choice for after the gym,” she says.
I grin at her. “Yeah, I know, Mom.”
“Not funny,” she says, and crinkles her nose, those cute freckles bunching together.
“I know but remember when we used to go to my place after school and raid the fridge before dinner. Mom used to—”
“Chase us into your bedroom with her broom, warning we were going to ruin our appetites,” she pipes in, finishing my sentence, much like we used to do years ago. “But we were always hungry back then.”
We both laugh, but it sizzles out fast, the space between us going perfectly quiet.
“Yeah,” I say after a moment, breaking the silence.
“Yeah,” she repeats, and then angles her head to glance at my clothes as the barista delivers the coffee. “You put a suit on after the gym?”
“Mmm-hmm.” I pick up the doughnut and take a big bite. “Damn, that’s good.”
“Do you always wear a suit? Everywhere?”
“Yes, always. Except in the gym, the shower or in bed.” I wink at her. “I like casual sex, and wearing a suit to bed just makes it formal,” I say and wonder what the fuck I’m doing. I shouldn’t be teasing her, flirting with her.
Her cheeks darken. “Well, some dates will be more casual than others. What if you go skydiving, or to the movies, or even a romantic hansom cab ride around Central Park?”
“When was the last time you took a horse ride around Central Park?” I ask.
“Ah, well. Never. It’s something I’ve always wanted to do, but I’m not dating right now, and we’re talking about you, not me.”
A thrill I don’t want to feel races through me. “Are you trying to say you want to dress me, Megan?”
“If that’s what it takes to find you a wife, then yes. I want complete control.”
Megan in bed, completely in control. Yeah, that visual is helping my cock. I take another bite of the doughnut and moan as I hold it out to her. “Try it.”
She stares at it for a moment, and her mouth goes slack. “It does look good.”
“It is good.”
I hold it closer and she bites into it. Her lids close and lemon oozes from the doughnut as powdered sugar gets all over her face and nose.
I chuckle. “You always were a messy eater.” I reach out, brush my thumb over her cheek.
She draws in a fast breath, and my hand freezes. Jesus, how can I do this? How can I spend the next month, possibly the next two, with this woman, without giving in to the things I feel?
I’ll be fucked if I know, but somehow I have to find a way.
CHAPTER THREE
Megan
“HE SOUNDS LIKE quite the asshole. I think you dodged a bullet after prom. I know it didn’t feel like it then, but he did you a solid by walking away,” Amanda says, as we toss our damp towels over our shoulders and walk through the gym to the locker rooms.
I nod in agreement and take in the near-empty establishment. I guess it being a Friday night and all, people have better things to do than sweat it out. Although I can think of other, more fun ways to get in a workout. Good Lord, Megan. Get your thoughts out of the gutter. It’s just that it’s been so long since I’ve been physically touched by a man. I’m sure that’s the only reason my body is all amped up. Yeah, it has nothing to do with coming face-to-face with Alec last week.
Liar.
I wonder what he’s doing on this Friday night, which glamorous, high-maintenance woman he has on his arm, and whose bed they’ll be falling into later. The sooner I get him married, the better it is for my business—and for my sanity. But the questions on the Match Made in Heaven questionnaire that goes with his profile are very personal, and we’ll need to fill it out together when he’s back from his business trip. I don’t know this rigid, detached Alec. He’s far different from the boy back in high school. Heck, if answering the questions were left to me, he’d probably be matched to a hungry hyena with a toothache.
I snort at that and step into the change room with Amanda.
“Pajamas, romantic comedy and popcorn tonight?” she asks.
“There is no other way I’d want to spend tonight, and no one I’d rather spend it with,” I say, and she rolls her eyes.
“I love you, too, but I’m sorry, Megan. I’d take a nice fat dick on a Friday night over a rom-com and popcorn at home, anytime.”
I burst out laughing and glance around, but the few women getting changed still have their earbuds in and are paying us zero attention. “Okay, me, too,” I admit and instantly hate myself when my thoughts stray to Alec again. Inside my bag, my phone pings, and I dig it out. My heart does a stupid little tumble when the display informs me that it’s none other than the man plaguing my thoughts.
Alec: I’m free tonight to plug the holes in the questionnaire. My place, eight?
Swallowing, I tense up and Amanda leans over to see who the message is from. “Hmm,” she begins, “Friday night, his place. Sounds like it’s not just the holes in the questionnaire he’s interested in plugging.”
My gaze flies to hers, and I catch her smirk. “Not funny and not going to happen. Not in a million years.”
Amanda hikes her bag over her shoulder and blows a wet strand of hair from her forehead. “Whatever you say.”
“He doesn’t like me that way.” I laugh but it comes out sounding like a wounded animal on crack. “I’m actually the complete opposite of the women he’s attracted to. Which is fine, because I have zero interest in him either.”
“Good, because he hurt you once, and I don’t want you to set yourself up for that kind of disaster now that you know what kind of man he is.” We push through the locker room door.
“I won’t. Fool me once, fool me twice. I get it.” We walk through the gym, and step out into the warm spring night. Flowers growing in pots outside the storefronts reach my nostrils and we walk down the sidewalk, passing numerous up-and-coming restaurants on the way to our apartment building.
“If he hurts you in any way…” She stops and makes scissor motions with her hands. “I will give him an up close view of his farm parts.”
“Farm parts?” I laugh and shake my head. Not hard to tell she grew up in Texas’s cattle country.
“That’s right. Otherwise known as gonads around these parts,” she says in her best Texas accent.
I laugh and shake my head. “He can’t hurt me if I feel nothing for him. I guess his farm parts are safe.”
“Good.” She gestures with a nod to the phone in my hand. My God, I’m gripping it so hard my knuckles are turning white. “Now, are you going to answer him, or what?” she asks.
I lift the phone and text back.
Megan: Just finished working out. I’ll hit the shower and come over.
Alec: What’s your address? I’ll send a car.
Am I really doing this? Am I giving the man my address, so he can send a car to drive me to his place, where we’ll be all alone? My stomach jumps like I’ve just eaten a handful of Mexican jumping beans. I give him my address and shove my phone into my bag as we make our way inside. We take the stairs to the second floor, and I give Amanda a hug.
“Movie and popcorn tomorrow night?” I ask.
“You bet, and I want all the details from tonight.” She exits the stairwell and I climb to the next floor and enter the apartment right above hers. Amanda moved into this building in Hell’s Kitchen a couple years ago, and now is walking distance to her work. When the apartment above hers became available, I jumped on it, and moved my business to one of the spare offices in her warehouse. It’s nice to have my best friend close. We’re there for each other at a moment’s notice, plus she cooks for me all the time. A good thing, considering I’m pretty lousy at it, and she’s an amazing chef who is always experimenting and in need of a guinea pig.
I step into my apartment, lean against the door. I probably shouldn’t be going to Alec’s place, and should have insisted we meet on neutral ground, but I don’t want him to think he affects me in any way at all. This is a business relationship, and I plan to keep it that way. My bag rolls off my shoulder when I lean forward, bracing myself.
You got this, girl. All you’re doing is finding a wife for the man you once loved. Easy peasy.
On that note, I pull myself up to my full height, and head to the bathroom for a hot shower, even though I should probably take a cold one. Since I have no idea how long his car will take, I soap up quickly and wash my hair. Once done, I give it a fast blow-dry, and pin it to the top of my head in an unflattering mess. I’m not out to impress the man. I’m out to get him married, so I can get my business off the ground.
As I make my way through my small apartment to my bedroom, I can’t help but wonder why James Carson insisted I was the only girl for the job. His words not mine. I hadn’t seen the elderly gentleman in years, and really, how did he even know I was an event planner? He sold me on the job based on the fact that it would get my name out in the right circles, and while this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, there is a part of this whole thing that just doesn’t sit right with me.
I plan numerous weddings, and honest to God, I can tell within five minutes if the couple will make it past the first year. It kind of guts me when I know they won’t. Yeah, it’s true, I’m a romantic at heart. I want people to find love and live happily ever after. I honestly think there’s someone for everyone.
I might not like Alec, but I hate that he doesn’t believe in happily-ever-after and has no problem with a loveless marriage. What the hell happened to him over the years? Back in the day he was the sweetest guy, captain of the football team, and always the big brother to all the guys on the team and everyone in our social circle. I never once thought of him as a brother, though. Not even for a second. Which is why during prom in St. Moritz, compliments of a very generous James Carson, I showed up at Alec’s hotel room door with nothing but a sexy silk nightie on under my coat. We were friends, close as two people could get, and not once had he tried anything sexual with me. I’d decided to make the first move. Heck, maybe he slept with me out of pity, or had too much to drink. All I know is in the morning, he barely spoke to me, and that summer he made himself invisible before he left for Harvard. Maybe all the blame isn’t on him, though. I’m the one who read the situation all wrong. Clearly an intimate relationship wasn’t what he wanted, and my stupid actions ended up ruining a good friendship.
But my God, the way he touched me that night, the heated kisses, hungry caresses and a soft touch to soothe the pain that turned to pleasure as he took my virginity. For a brief second I think about running to my room to use my vibrator, but my doorbell chimes.
Dammit.
I tug on a pair of yoga pants and a comfy Taylor Swift T-shirt, then swipe a streak of pink across my lips. I give myself a once-over in the mirror, grab my purse and laptop bag, and head for my door. I retrace my steps down the stairwell and find a tall man dressed in a suit at the security door, both hands clasped behind his back as he rocks back and forth.
“Megan Williams?” he asks when I step outside.
“Yes, that’s me,” I say, and he holds his hand out and gestures to the sleek, black limousine with its back door open.
“Right this way, Miss Williams,” he says with a smile that instantly puts me at ease. The man has a warm, fatherly presence about him, which suddenly has me missing my own. I was fortunate that my aunt Jeannie—my mom’s sister—and Uncle Dave took me in after my folks died in the car accident. And while I grew close to my cousin Sara, we’re like sisters today, it was never the same as having my own family. I miss that. I want that. Unfortunately, I’ve been working harder, and dating less. I’m not sure there are any decent guys left in Manhattan.
“Call me Megan.” I make my way down the stairs and take in the shiny vehicle that costs more than I make in a year. Yeah, Alec and I really do come from different worlds. But he isn’t so different from my adopted family. Uncle Dave is a very successful stockbroker and his family lived a completely different lifestyle than mine. I slide into the backseat. Alec was so kind and caring back then, and there were nights when I was incredibly sad, and Alec and I would text for hours. There was even that one time when he snuck in through my window, held me in my bed while I cried for the loss of my folks.
I swallow down the memories and stare at traffic as the driver takes me to Alec’s home. Close to thirty minutes later, we’re in New York’s Upper East Side. The car slows in front of a luxury Manhattan apartment. Staring out the window, I crane my neck but can’t see the top of the building.
The driver takes me to the front entrance, and before I can reach for the handle to let myself out, he’s right there, opening the door for me. It feels a little odd to a girl who’s used to taking care of herself.
“Thank you,” I say. Wait, do I tip him? Cripes, I’m a little out of my element here. I reach for my purse, but he gives me a nod and waves his hand toward the doorman, who seems to be waiting for me.
“The concierge will take you from here,” he says.
“Thank you. I didn’t get your name?”
His head rears back, just slightly, like my interest in him has taken him by a surprise. Perhaps the women Alec normally has chauffeured to his apartment don’t bother chitchatting with the help.
“Phillip Andrews,” he says.
“It was nice to meet you, Phillip,” I say.
He takes my hand in his and closes both of his palms over it. “The pleasure was all mine, Megan.”
He lets me go, and I walk up the marble stairs leading to the massive front entrance. “Hi, I’m Megan Williams,” I say when I reach the middle-aged man, with a big toothy smile. I hold my hand out, and he shakes it. “I’m here to see Alec Carson, and Phillip said you’d be taking me from here.”
“That’s right, Miss Williams, please come in.”
“Call me Megan, and you are?”
“I’m Derek,” he says, and pulls open the big glass door.
“Nice to meet you, Derek.”
“You, too,” he says with a nod. “Alec has been expecting you. I trust your drive was pleasant.”
“Very,” I say, and follow him into the spacious lobby tastefully decorated with glass and chrome that gives the place a welcoming, airy feel. We step onto the waiting elevator, and he puts a key in, and presses the top floor.
“Beautiful night,” I say to Derek.
“Spring is here,” he says, tugging at the lapels on his black jacket. “My favorite time of year.”
“I’m a fall girl,” I say. “Sweaters, lattes, falling leaves.”
“Tourists,” he laments, and we both laugh as the elevator opens on the top floor. “Here we are.” He waves his hand and I glance out to find Alec outside his suite waiting for me.
Leaning against the doorjamb, feet crossed at the ankle, he’s dressed in a pair of jeans and a comfy-looking blue T-shirt that brings out the color of his eyes. A dressed-up Alec is one thing, but this comfortable, laid-back version has my stupid ovaries doing the macarena. He has the sex appeal of a hot fudge brownie delight with a cherry on top, and here I am wishing I had a big spoon.
“Megan,” he says, his deep octave throbbing through me and settling at the needy juncture between my legs. “No problems getting here?”
“None whatsoever. Phillip was very nice, and so was Derek.”
I turn to see Derek off and give him a little finger wave. He nods before the doors ping shut, locking the world out, and Alec and me in.
“Phillip and Derek,” he says. “You know their names?”
I face Alec, and once again I’m blasted with a bolt of lust I wish I didn’t feel. “Yes,” I mumble.
He swipes his tongue over his bottom lip, his gaze leaving my face, to take in my T-shirt and yoga pants. In turn, I examine him. “You’re not in a suit.”
He arches one dark brow, and that’s when I notice his hair has been cut. Long or short, he’s as handsome as ever. “And you’re very observant.”
“Did I catch you showering, sleeping or having sex?” I ask.
His grin is so goddamn sexy I reach out and place my hand on the wall to maintain a vertical position. “Well, we might as well be comfortable while going through the forms. I dressed for comfort,” I say, and wave my hand over my clothes.
He glances the length of me again and makes a sound. For a brief second I think it might be a moan, but I have to be mistaken. Right? I stash that thought to examine it later as he pushes off the frame and waves his hand to the open door behind him. “Are we doing this in the hall, or do you want to come in?”
Doing this in the hall.
Get it together, Megan. He is not talking about sex.
He turns to his side, and I slide past him, trying to ignore his enticing scent and the heat of his body as I step into his beautiful penthouse suite. I resist the urge to give a low, slow whistle. The door closes and as the lock clicks into place behind me, a warm shudder moves through my body.
“Cold?” Alec asks, mistaking my reaction. “I can turn on the fire.”
My gaze goes to the propane fireplace that separates the living room from the kitchen, glass on both sides. “I’m okay, thanks.” I scan his place, and take in the amazing view of the Hudson River, the mosaic of stars suspended over the New Jersey skyline. His place looks like it’s been professionally decorated in cool grays, and the only homey touches are a picture frame on one of his side tables with a plant beside it. His mother had a lot of plants in the house when he was growing up, but Alec doesn’t strike me as the type of guy who could keep one alive. Maybe the designer insisted on it, and his housekeeper waters it or something.
I step up to the table, pick up the frame and smile as I take in a young Alec in his Harvard graduation robe, his arm thrown over his younger brother, Will. Alec has a smile on his face, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes, and for some reason that just doesn’t sit right with me. Does he ever laugh anymore, like we used to do when we were teens? God, the times we laughed until we cried. My heart pinches, missing those times.
“How is Will?” I ask, a stupid hitch in my voice as I turn to face Alec. Last I remember was seeing a picture of him in the tabloids in bed with a woman who wasn’t his fiancée.
He stares at me a long time before answering. “He’s well.”
“And your mom? How is she?” I miss his mom. She was always so kind to me, welcoming me into their home, treating me like the daughter she always wanted and never had.
He scrubs his chin. “Mom is well. She stays busy with her charity work. How is Sara, and your aunt and uncle?” he asks.
“Good,” I say. “When was the last time you saw Sara?” I ask. They both went to Harvard and maintained their friendship there. I was sure Sara had a thing for him, and there was a time I thought they’d become a couple. Who knows, maybe they did hook up on campus. Then again, Sara is an oversharer about such things and would likely have told me. I never did tell her about what happened on prom night. I was too mortified.
“A few months back. Is she still with Edward and Smith Law Firm?”
“She is. Working hard to make partner,” I say, and I’m about to switch the conversation back to him and ask about his dad, but I’m not sure if I should. He left when Alec and Will were young. The guys maintained a relationship with him, but it was strained. How could it not be? He left for a much younger woman. I take in the tension in Alec’s body, and sense he wants to get down to business. Ending my trip down memory lane, I turn and place the picture back down.
“Where should we set up?” I ask, and spin back around to find Alec standing right there, so close all I’d have to do is go up on my toes if I wanted to kiss him. Which I don’t. At all.
“Why not right here,” he says, his voice hoarse, an octave lower as he points to the sofa facing the hearth.
“Okay.” I step around him, and plop down on the comfy gray sofa. I set my purse on the floor and tug my laptop from the bag. “These questions are going to take forever, so you might as well make yourself comfortable. We could be here all night.” I tuck my legs underneath myself and glance up at Alec. The intensity in his eyes as they roam over my body sends a spark of need rocketing through me. What the hell is going on here? If I didn’t know better, I’d think he likes what he sees. But I do know better.
He clears his throat. “I’m going to need a drink.” He disappears into the other room, comes back with two glasses. One with white wine, and one with brandy. He swirls the amber liquid in the crystal, and I chuckle softly.
“Something funny?”
“You’re so much like your grandfather. You have a lot of the same mannerisms. He swirls his brandy like that and you both have a habit of smoothing down your tie. I noticed you doing that at the café last week.”
“Tate does it, too. So does Will. Granddad’s clearly rubbed off on all of us.” He smiles. “But you always were a people person. Not much gets by you. I’m sure that’s what makes you an amazing event planner.”
I beam at the compliment. “I am an amazing event planner. It helps when you love what you do.”
He hands me the glass of wine. “I like that you own your successes and don’t apologize. No point in being modest.”
“You own your successes, too,” I say, as I recall an article in Forbes. He’s a financier who restructures businesses and makes no apologies. “Do you like what you do?” I ask.
He eyes me for a moment. “Do you think I’m the big bad wolf, Megan?”
“I never said that.”
“You didn’t have to, and if you do, you’d be right. I’m not a nice guy.”
He might make deals that destroy businesses and people’s lives, but I’m not here to insult the man. I’m here to get him married. Changing topics, I sip the wine and the tart flavor bursts on my tongue. “This is delicious.”
“Dry, the way you like.”
My pulse leaps in my throat. “You remember that?”
“I remember everything,” he says, and as he lowers himself beside me, I can’t help but think his thoughts have gone to the same place mine have. To the night I seduced him.
I take another sip of wine, stalling before I have to speak, since I’m sure my voice is about to fail me again. “Mmm,” I say. I turn on my computer and pull up the profile I began last week. “If we want to match you with the right woman, you have to answer honestly.”
“I always try to be honest, and I’m not looking for the right woman,” he says, those blue eyes roaming my face, and for the briefest of seconds I wish I were her. Wish I were the right woman for Alec Carson. I practically snort as that stupid thought goes through my head. “I’m looking for a suitable woman, remember?”
“You won’t at least try?” I say as I shift to face him, legs tucked securely underneath me. “I think everyone has a match, and true love really does exist. You just have to be open to it.”
The muscles in his neck bunch as he rolls his shoulders, like the strain of the week is sitting heavily on top of them.
“I’m not open to it,” he says, his voice so firm and adamant, it instantly shuts down my rebuttal. “Let’s get at this.”
Disappointment courses through me but I shove it down. This is Alec’s life not mine and if he’s against love and marriage, who am I to try to change things. “Okay.”
Beside me, he shifts and his leg rubs against my knee as he stretches out and crosses his ankles. He swirls the brandy and takes another drink. The liquid settles on his bottom lip and all I can think about is licking it off. Except he does it for me, and I want to tangle our tongues, taste the brandy from his mouth. A bolt of heat moves through me and I tear my gaze away, try to read the words before me as my stupid libido kicks into high gear.
“Okay, the first set of questions is to generally describe your personality.”
“Go on.”
“You have three choices for your answers—not at all, somewhat or very.” He nods, and I continue with “Bossy?”
He grins, and I click Very.
“I’m pretty sure I could have gotten that one right,” I say, and rest my head against the sofa pillow. “Remember that time we went to King’s Palace amusement park?”
He nods, and looks at the big window, like his thoughts are a million miles away. “It was right after you moved in with Sara.”
“You gathered up a few of your football friends, and we all went for the day.” He turns back to me and the smile that comes over his face is so genuine and happy, my pulse leaps. As I look at Alec now, I see the boy from my youth. I relax on the sofa and take another sip of my wine. I place it on the table and laugh. “You were so bossy. The guys all wanted to hit the race cars, but you said no, and we did every other ride in the park until it closed and it was too late for any of us to ride.”
“Megan,” he says, the smile falling fast from his face, a look of horror moving in to take its place. “You’d just lost your parents in a car accident. I couldn’t let…what if it reminded…”
“Oh, my God,” I say under my breath as the room spins around me. “I… I didn’t realize.” My heart crashes so hard against my chest, breathing becomes difficult. He did that…for me. “That was so…” Tears prick my eyes and I fight them off. “So considerate of you.”
He shrugs like it was nothing.
“The guys were so pissed off,” I say, my voice breaking a little. “I thought for sure Dillon Fraser was going to rip you a new one.”
“I’d rather that over you…”
“I had no idea.” I swallow down the lump in my throat. “Thank you.”
He finishes off his brandy and pushes to his feet. “Wine refill?” he asks, and averts his eyes.
“Yeah, sure,” I say, certain I’m going to need more alcohol to get through this. “But I’m a lightweight.”
“I know.” He picks my glass up and leaves, and I press my palms to my eyes hard enough to make me see stars, before I cry over the loss of a young, thoughtful boy who used to watch out for me. He comes back and hands me the wine. I take a huge gulp and find him studying me carefully as I set it on the coffee table.
“You’ve been asking all the questions, but I have one of my own,” he says.
“What?” I ask, unease moving through me.
“Why are you still single?”
Way to get right to the point.
“Well, you see, Alec. There are two kinds of people in this world, those who like Neil Diamond and those who don’t.” I bite back a grin, and wait for him to get it. When a wide smile splits his lips, we both burst out laughing and the sound is music to my ears.
“How many times did we watch that movie,” he says.
“What About Bob?” I shake my head. “It definitely was our go-to movie.”
Our laughter dies down, and he turns serious again. “You still want it all don’t you. The family, kids, white picket fence.”
“You say it like it’s a bad thing.”
“It’s just that it’s not for me.”
He reaches behind his head and squeezes the back of his neck, and I want to ask why it’s not for him, but I don’t. When we were young, we shared our hopes and dreams, but having a family of his own was never something he talked about. That didn’t mean I didn’t think he wanted one, though. I just assumed it wasn’t something guys talked about. But I guess in the end it just solidifies that we want different things and would never work out.
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