Kitabı oku: «The Dolce Vita Diaries»

1 The seeds are sown

We’d both been working in TV for a long time, ten years for me, seven years for Jason. I think that ten years is long enough to do anything. I’ve always admired old people who can look back at their lives and divvy it up into the different chapters, much more than those who have just doggedly pursued one thing. We felt we’d done telly for long enough and we’d started making plans, or at least flirting with the possibility of plans, for doing something else, something completely different.

We’d been living in LA for three years, having moved there to set up a US office of RDF Media, the company we both worked for, making programmes like Faking It, Scrapheap Challenge and Wifeswap. We lived in the hills under the Hollywood sign, bought coffee from a drive-through on our way to work, went surfing at the weekend or visiting the silver Airstream trailer I’d impulsively bought one day up in the mountains by the Kern River. We bought fashionable clothes, hung out in the kind of bars where you could get your nails done while sipping your martini and having your car valet-parked. Generally we led a pretty charmed, if rather shallow, life.

‘New life’, as we began to refer to it, had a lot to live up to. Lots of people who make big life changes are escaping something—a job they hate, a country they have come to loathe, a future that just seems too banal and laid out. It wasn’t at all like that for us. We both had really good jobs in television, we worked with people we really liked, we were stimulated and we were very well rewarded for our efforts. We’d also enjoyed a bit of public acknowledgement of our efforts because we’d both been in front of the camera as well as behind it—me co-presenting Scrapheap Challenge with Robert Llewellyn, and Jason being one of the presenters in a series called Wreck Detectives, which investigated the stories of shipwrecks. We also had enough creative rein to mean that our ideas stood a chance of ‘making it’ to the screen.

But TV was becoming less wholesome. I didn’t really want to be making shows like Big Brother or X Factor or I’m a Celebrity or a hundred other programmes that take people and then use them, all for our viewing pleasure. I didn’t want constantly to be justifying my latest series with an ever smaller fig leaf of excuses for this exploitation that the programme was ‘revealing’ or ‘helped people understand the world’. And neither did I want to stay and get jaded. We wanted to quit while we were ahead.

But what to do instead? Jason had clearer ideas from the start. He wanted to do something that involved some physical work and to make something which at the end he could hold up with pride and say ‘This is the product of my labours and it is good.’

That still left the field pretty open.

We both really liked food and, since the start of our relationship, food and cooking and eating together had been a pretty key element. In fact, from when we first met, Jason was always rummaging around for scraps of paper to jot down some recipe he’d just made, or to write down the pearls of wisdom from a restaurant chef who’d just revealed some cooking secret. In fact, it became a joke that my job was to be constantly buying pretty notebooks to paste in all these scraps of paper, saying there was no point having all these ideas if you could never find them again.

We talked about running a restaurant but everyone we know who does it says, ‘Don’t don’t don’t.’ It’s such a commitment of time and single-mindedness—you don’t have the flexibility to do a bit of this and a bit of that, you have to stick with it totally without deviation, every day, every hour. It’s a life equivalent of an each-mouthful-the-same plate of risotto rather than the mixed meze we were after.

One day we were in the Grove shopping centre in Hollywood. A place that by all accounts should be horrific and terrifying because it is such a model of super-clean, super-straight, super-capitalist, super-nice America, but which for some reason doesn’t quite make you choke in the way that it should. Well, at least there was a shop there we really liked, called O&Co. It’s part of that French chain L’Occitane which does stinky unguents to slather yourself in—but O&Co is the food bit that does mainly olive oil and also a few other things like vinegars and mustards. In the one in the should-be-scary Grove, they had lots of different olive oils that you could taste. We’d go in there for a free lunch of bits of slightly stale bread dunked in delicious olive oils from around the world.

Our favourite became an olive oil which was made entirely from Leccino olives and came, improbably, from Uruguay. It was quite smooth and fruity but had a definite peppery kick and a freshness that was just mmmm.

One Saturday we went in for our customary cheapskate snack lunch and the lady there, who knew our game but didn’t seem to mind as actually, doh, the joke was on us—given how much oil we bought from them—said, ‘You’re fond of that Uruguayan oil, aren’t you?’

‘Well, yes, sure.’

‘Well, we’ve had a 25-litre barrel arrive that’s badly dented. We can’t really use it as we need a perfect one for the display. But we could sell it to you for cheap if you were interested?’

Interesting.

‘How much?’

‘Well, shall we say $150—after all, it’s a 25-litre barrel.’

What dilemma and confusion it threw us into. We loved it, it was definitely a bargain. But $150? And 25 litres? It seemed a bit decadent. We went away, telling her we’d have a think about it. It sounds ridiculous now but we really did hum and haw for ages thinking about that barrel of oil. Should we shouldn’t we, should we shouldn’t we? Then on Monday morning in the office, I just had a feeling that it was a good thing to do and phoned her and said, ‘If you still have that oil, we want it—we’ll come and pick it up this evening.’

When we arrived, she’d laid out not just the barrel but also about 50 empty half-litre cylindrical tins with their little green lids, so that we could decant the oil at home. We packed up our booty in the car and drove home feeling quite pleased with ourselves.

It was there, attaching the little tap to the barrel and pouring out oil tin by tin, that one of us, we can’t even remember which, said, ‘Why don’t we make olive oil? We love it. It would mean good outdoor physical work and we could be really proud if we made oil that was halfway as good as this stuff.’

So that was it. Life decisions needn’t be so terribly taxing. We would make olive oil in our new life. That was that.

We went a bit mad with that oil for a few weeks. We were like crazed apothecaries, experimenting with every kind of flavouring we could think of. In the end we had about thirty little bottles in the cupboard: oil infused with basil leaves, oil with pieces of rosemary thrown in, oil with bits of garlic that we’d try to ‘home-sterilize’, infusions with mint, some with lemon; every herb and leaf that we could lay our hands on was somehow stuck into a bottle of oil and left to mature in its dark home.

In the end most of it wasn’t particularly good and a lot of it went mouldy—which gave us a new-found respect for those Christmas trinkety oils you buy containing baubles of chilli pieces and rosemary. However, in a way, that wasn’t the point. Those witching hours stirring cauldrons and making pulps of herbs and concentrating on olive oil were really the start of our plan.

One evening, we decided to have an olive oil tasting. If we were really going to make this stuff, we needed to know our onions. We had invited a bunch of friends round. They weren’t perfectly qualified for the job in that none were olive oil experts; they were all Hollywood producers more used to viewing rough cuts than reviewing condiments. But they all loved food and had a good spread of knowledge levels and food snobbishness, so we thought it’d be interesting.

Jason had been devouring every book on the olive he could get his hands on, whether it was about olive cultivation, cooking with olive oil or the historical significance of the olive tree. That night would be a prime opportunity for him to show off his burgeoning knowledge.

Our search for fine olive oils to taste took us to Joan’s on Third, a small but well-stocked delicatessen in West Hollywood. They have a mouth-watering display of international oils and a great café with yummy food and fine coffee (depending on which member of staff strikes up the machine). It’s not cheap though and the four bottles of olive oil we picked up cost around $80. We couldn’t help wondering how much of that the olive farmer claps eyes on.

Jason had read that olive oil is the oldest unadulterated food in the world. And when you think about it, even wine has preservatives added nowadays. Olive oil is the crushed fruit, nothing more, nothing less. Pure as can be. Another of his favourite facts at that time concerned the distinction between ‘green olives’ and ‘black olives’. We, like many, had always assumed that there were different species of olive which turned out either green or black. Imagine our delight when we discovered that no, there was no more difference between a green and a black olive than between a green banana and a yellow—it’s just a question of ripeness. How we would be able to wow our friends with these great new factoids.

Thankfully, when we wheeled this out later that evening, everyone was impressed. Jason sounded positively erudite. ‘Each olive variety has a specific moment when it’s in prime condition—that is, when the oil will be at it finest. The Leccino variety, the one from our Uruguayan booty pack, produces its fruitiest, grassiest oil when it’s just turned black. The Coratina produces the bitter, spicy oil it’s famed for when it is half purple and half green…’

‘Does that mean you have to go round picking the ripe olives one at a time?’ asked Rex, ever thoughtful of the labour costs of a job, having always been a film’s purse-holder.

‘Well, no, you pick a whole tree at once when say 50 percent of the olives are the right colour,’ Jason said confidently.

‘And what about the difference between olives for oil and olives for the table?’

‘Of the hundreds of types of olives, there are specialists. Some, like the black, wrinkled ones from Greece called Kalamata, are best for the table, others like the little pert Picual from Spain are revered for their oil. But there’s no olive you can’t eat, nor one you can’t make oil from.’

Only about 10 percent of olive oil produced is in the top quality extra virgin olive oil bracket. The rest of the stuff is chemically extracted, in other words not simply crushed. The top dogs at the International Olive Oil Council (yes, there really is one), divide olive oil up like this:

Extra virgin olive oil

An acidity of less than 0.8 percent, and an extraordinary range of colours, flavours and textures. To qualify, the oil must be cold pressed and only mechanically. Note to selves: we want to be making this stuff.

Virgin olive oil

An acidity level of less than 2 percent with a ‘perfect’ aroma, flavour and colour. Cold pressed.

Olive oil

A mix of refined oil. Heat and sometimes chemicals are used to get the remaining oil out of the pulp left over from the first pressing and this is combined with some virgin olive oil. The good stuff gives the taste and the less good stuff gives the bulk. It officially has an acidity of less than 1 percent. We’d use this kind for frying, but nothing else.

Olive pomace oil

Refined oil from the olive residue. Good for oiling the door hinges.

But enough of the facts and figures—it was time to get down to serious tasting.

We didn’t agree on which oil was the best. There isn’t a right answer. But everyone agreed that olive oil production seemed an estimable and wholesome business to be in. And as we sat under the Californian night sky, illuminated by the twinkly lights of the luscious houses of the Hollywood hills, our path to olive oil producers seemed a simple and dignified one. A quick poll of where we should go to pursue this honest labour was pretty decisive and summed up by Rex:

‘Dude, it’s got to be Italy.’

Here are our tasting notes from that evening:

The Italian oil

It tastes sweet, of apples or sweetpea. Full flavour and aroma of grass, but a bit thin. Made from Frantoio and Leccino olives. Jax’s favourite.

The Moroccan oil

Vanilla, avocado, honey, soil, artichoke heart. What an exotic cacophony of flavours. Creamy at front with a kick at the back. Made from Picholine olives. Aloysia’s favourite.

The Spanish oil

Deep, rich olive flavour of grass and fresh mown hay. Peppery, too. From a blend of olive types. Jason’s favourite.

The Californian oil

Round mellow and delicate flavour maybe more suited to an American palate. Very pale colour. Picholine olives. No one’s favourite.

Olive oil tasting

Ingredients for olive oil tasting

Bread—white

Representing

Pour each oil into a white saucer, so you can get a good look at the colour and viscosity. Cut the bread into small cubes. Dip in oil and eat. Simple.

Word on the street is that the bread can modify the flavour and mask the subtleties of the oil, so for purists dispense with the bread and instead pour some oil on a teaspoon, suck it into the month with a slurp and wait for it to flow down the back of the throat.

Infusing olive oil

Ingredients for cold infusions

Rosemary—a big sprig

Dried chilli—one large one or several small

Black peppercorns—a small handful

Garlic—a whole bulb

We’ve worked out two ways to infuse the oil. The first is what we call warm infusion, where we gently heat the flavourings in a saucepan of oil for maybe an hour. Then there is cold infusion, where we leave the flavouring in the olive oil for a couple of weeks—the flavour slowly ebbs out in a more natural way. Things like lemon rind or basil, which contain water, go mouldy if you cold infuse them. But on the other hand, when we heat up the oil the result is a bit bland because the volatile aromatic flavour compounds are destroyed.

Our success stories so far have been cold-infused dried chillies, rosemary and roasted garlic (we nuke the dastardly bacteria with a good roasting).

Get creative and mix up whatever ingredients take your fancy. You will need a variety of glass bottles, corks and funnels. You are best off sterilizing the bottles beforehand—10 minutes in boiled water will do the job.

Simply put your flavourings into a bottle and then fill with olive oil so that they are covered and there are no air bubbles.

To roast the garlic, preheat the oven to 190° C /gas mark 5, wrap the whole, unpeeled bulb tightly in kitchen foil and roast for about 40 minutes or until the cloves are soft. Once the bulb is cooled down a bit, pull off individual cloves and shove as many of them down the neck of the bottle as you can. Then fill and cover with oil.