Kitabı oku: «Melina Breaking Free», sayfa 5
CHAPTER 5
The day after Mary’s wedding Sarantos, not being able to get a moment of sleep because of the excitement of his unexpected and epic coming together with Melina, went to wait in a café on the edge of the town square since Melina would have to go by there to go to the street market.
Sarantos knew that every Saturday Melina bought vegetables for her family. They didn’t shop in the town greengrocers’ shops except on exceptional occasions because their financial difficulties made it necessary for her to buy provisions from the street vendors’ stalls. Today was Saturday and Sarantos hoped that the girl would not sleep in as a result of last night’s wedding and the late night. And his hopes were not disappointed. At ten thirty he saw Melina approaching from a distance carrying her shopping net, and his heart skipped a beat in excitement. He stood up quickly and crossed the main street to accidentally – supposedly - find himself in her path. When she approached him he greeted her with an engaging smile, full of love and tenderness. She blurted out a dry “Good Morning” and moved as if to continue on her way. Sarantos was upset and started to walk alongside her.
“Are we going to get together later, Melina?” he asked her. She stopped and turned to look at him with such a frozen look that one would have thought she was addressing some undesirable, and said to him. “No, Sarantos, we won’t meet today, nor in the future.”
Sarantos was stunned. “But Melina dear, last night we…” he didn’t manage to finish the sentence.
“Last night we both gave in to the madness of the moment, Sarantos,” she replied to him. “What happened was a mistake and can’t be repeated. Besides, you know that I am not in love with you and last night’s happenings were only physical. I don’t want to have a relationship with you and I would like, if you too have no objection, for us to forget everything and go back to the day before yesterday when we were just friends. I don’t want anything more than that,” she said, and turning to her right she walked away, leaving him stunned in the middle of the street. Sarantos almost collapsed from shock. He could not believe what he had just heard a few moments earlier. How could a woman abandon herself unconditionally with such sexual frenzy, and as a virgin at that, and the next day be able to utter such harsh words? “But what have I done to her to make her treat me like a stranger, like an enemy? I neither forced her, nor did I do something without her consent, nor did I insult her. She knows that I have adored her for years. Oh God, what can I do now? What has bitten her to make her throw me aside like used goods, talking to me about friendship and other nonsense?” he asked himself in desperation. Tremors ran up and down his spine. His kneed buckled, unable to hold him upright. Breathing as if someone were choking him he collapsed onto the first café chair he saw and ordered a coffee to recover. He was so agitated that he scalded himself drinking it, hot as it was, spilling half of it onto his trousers, his trembling hand unable to keep the cup still.
This unexpected rejection was strange, unheard of, but primarily illogical he thought, if one took into account what had taken place the previous night. Sarantos tried to find an explanation, repeating her words over and over again in his head, but could find none. And suddenly his wounded pride made him angry.
“If she wants to lie down with everyone for a night and then not to say even good morning to them, it’s her problem!” he thought, so primed with anger that he felt his cheeks burning as if they were on fire. He immediately regretted his cynical silent words, the result of the humiliation he felt at her harsh and unexpected rejection of him. For a second he thought of approaching her again to ask for an explanation, even to beg her, but her words – like knife stabs – came back to him. “I am not in love with you. Last night was physical.”
There was no need to talk to her again on this subject. It was closed forever for him, following her declaration. Any attempt to approach her would humiliate him even more and would ridicule him. He wanted to have a friend at that moment to share a few words with him, Iakovos for instance. But he couldn’t share his thoughts because he didn’t want to expose Melina. He loved her deeply, you see, despite the deep wound she had made in his heart…
He got up from the chair after cleaning his trousers with his handkerchief and a little water and with slow steps, like that of a convict, started off for home. Entering the yard he saw Eleni, his mother, digging among the geraniums. When she lifted her head and saw him she was surprised by his appearance. His face was deathly pale, his tall proud bearing was gone and instead she saw his hunched shoulders, his brown eyes looking dark, huge, and full of sadness. Eleni wiped the sweat off her forehead and ran to put her arms round him.
“What’s wrong, my son? Are you ill?” she asked him.
Sarantos shook his head in negation.
“Come, tell me what is happening?” his mother said, drawing him to the wooden bench in the shade. Sarantos was so bound to her that he knew that she would listen to him with her heart and mind. He told her in a few words what had transpired with Melina and the developments that morning. Eleni listened without speaking. When he finished recounting his story she said to him.” My son, I have known Melina from when she was born. She is neither superficial nor a girl to indulge in casual sex. She has been through hard times in her life and both you and I know of these difficulties. Perhaps she is afraid of committing herself because she hasn’t got the strength to continue living in poverty and misery. And you, Sarantos, even if you married her, couldn’t change her life for the better. You haven’t got the means to do so. I know that you have been in love with her from the time you were a child but it seems that for Melina that is not enough. What is most likely is that she has exhausted her reserves of strength and doesn’t want to take you on board only to dump you later. Don’t bear a grudge against her, my son. Don’t let your pride blind you and lead you away from the reality of the situation. Of course she wanted you when she came to you without any reservations, but she didn’t want what would follow. Give way to your anger and justify her! It seems that the girl could not do anything else!
Tears involuntarily ran down Sarantos cheeks as his mother spoke. Eleni wiped them away and kissed him gently on his brow.
“Mother, I can’t stay in this town any longer. You must understand that, I am finished. There is no room for me here anymore!” Sarantos murmured.
“Relax, my boy, and together we will find a solution. Let me think and we’ll discuss it again. Go and lie down now and we’ll talk later.”
Sarantos, obedient as a child, walked off towards his bedroom. She remained alone and ruminated over her son’s confession. She understood his hurt as memories came back to her of Sarantos as a little boy, still in shorts, when he would often say to her when they were alone, “When I grow up I will become a judge and marry my Melina!” And Eleni would laugh at the seriousness of these childish declarations, but she herself had looked on the young girl as her future daughter-in-law. She couldn’t understand how any woman could ignore this strapping young man with his handsome face, good character and the charm that his presence radiated. And Eleni was objective in her judgment!
She herself had leaned on this mutual understanding and love for years, on the love coming from her son, to face her own martyrdom. The moment had now come for her to stand steady as a rock in his own moment of emotional turbulence because she knew of the lifelong love of Sarantos for Melina and she had seen the depth of his feelings for her. She feared that her son would wither away because he would not be able to avoid seeing Melina, without questions being raised, because they were both in the same tightly-knit group of friends. She was sure that his wound would bleed however much he tried to come to terms with the fact that his dreams had been shattered. The wisest thing would be for Sarantos to distance himself from the town. But where should he go? They had no relatives or friends in Athens, and there wasn’t enough money to send him away to study as the young man fervently desired. It was then that she remembered Paschalis, her cousin, who was well established in Australia with flourishing businesses, who, on many occasions when he travelled to Greece had told her that he would gladly invite the whole family to come to Australia. But Mitsos, her husband, wouldn’t have a word of it. He didn’t care about his children’s future and about better living conditions. He was very happy to continue emptying bottles of wine, playing cards at the café with his friends, and exerting himself in the bedroom…
Eleni sprang up resolutely. She knew what she would do. She would write to Paschalis. But there was another matter to be settled. She needed to find money for the expensive boat ticket, which under no circumstances did she want to request from her cousin. She would ask for the money from her father, explaining the reason to him, in a roundabout way. The truth was that the previous year when her teacher father had retired and offered her half his golden handshake compensation, Eleni out of pride had refused the money. She would go straight to her family’s village now to settle the issue, if indeed the offer that had been made the previous year was still valid and her father had not used the money for something else. She would talk to Sarantos only when the matter of his ticket funding had been settled as well as the issue of his living expenses for his first few weeks in Australia.
Without saying anything to anyone after what had happened that afternoon, she boarded the bus for her village. Half an hour later she walked into her parents’ house. They were worried to see her in front of them without any warning. Usually she visited them on Sundays with her children. Mitsos never accompanied her because he couldn’t stand the sight of her parents. They had similar sentiments for their son-in-law whom they considered a good-for-nothing, and for the big, or rather unforgiveable, mistake on behalf of their pampered daughter, whom he had, in their opinion, turned into a spineless little woman without any character. Eleni took her father aside and said that she needed the money, asking him if he still had the ability to help her.
“The money is for you, my child. We are old and don’t need it. Tomorrow morning I’ll go to the bank and withdraw it. Only, I want us to meet somewhere out of doors so that I won’t bump into Mitsos and have some sort of argument develop”.
They agreed to meet the next day at noon outside the main church. As agreed, her father gave her a bulging envelope, wishing her “May everything go well for the boy!” Eleni, overcome with emotion, kissed him gratefully and went back home. She called Sarantos and told him what she had done. Sarantos was visibly relieved as she spoke and his reaction calmed Eleni. She had harboured a fear deep inside her that his statement “There isn’t enough room for me here!” that her son had blurted out were merely words of disappointment, bitterness and of the moment. She immediately sat down and wrote to Paschalis. Sarantos went to his grandparents while waiting for a reply. He didn’t feel like meeting his friends or, of course, Melina, who would be with them…
Fifteen days later Eleni’s cousin wrote back saying that they were eagerly looking forward for Sarantos to come and they were already preparing the guest house for him to have his own independent space. Eleni bought the ticket for her son’s long trip. Her soul mourned her coming parting with Sarantos, but above all and everyone was his peace of mind, his own mental stability. His departure was at the end of the month, in ten days time. Sarantos returned to the town from the village and informed his friends of his decision to emigrate. Everybody was saddened by the news. Melina, at the other end of the table, cast him a sorrowful look, without making any comment, something that Sarantos interpreted as only regret at the departure of her childhood friend. Her face was very serious, in fact so expressionless that the young man could not discern any other emotion there.
When the day came for Sarantos to leave, his grandparents, his family and all his friends went to the bus station to see him off. Mitsos, his father, was noticeably absent. He had provoked great arguments, swearing and shouting that now that he needed extra hands to help him in the fields his son was running off overseas. Eleni for the first time raised her voice and warned him that if he continued like that she would take the children and also leave with Sarantos. Mitsos cowered, but was constantly drunk and refused to wave him off at the bus and didn’t condescend to say even a simple “goodbye” to his son. When the boy was walking across the yard towards the street gate of the house he shouted “I don’t want to see you ever again!”
Eleni begged Sarantos not to respond, saying that it was the wine that was talking, not his father…
Eleni and his sisters hugged him with deep sorrow in their hearts, trying to hold back their tears. All of his childhood friends wept as they said goodbye. They had no idea when, or if, they would see him again. Melina, standing at the edge of the pavement, and half-hidden by the others was waving her hand. As the vehicle started off Sarantos, overcome by emotion, looked back at his beloved friends for the last time. His eye caught Melina’s face, pale and drawn. Large tears were running down her cheeks. Or was it his imagination?
In a little while the bus disappeared round a bend in the road leaving behind clouds of dust and the bitterness of parting.
CHAPTER 6
Leaving the bus terminal the youngsters decided to have a coffee at the village square to wind themselves down from the emotionally charged moment. When they sat down Paulina said “We’ve grown up and our group has started to scatter! First Mary got married and we see her once in a blue moon, now Sarantos, and who knows who will be next…”
“Probably you with Dina,” said Iakovos. “Did you hear anything back from New York?”
Dina replied that her uncle, who was the priest at the main Orthodox church in Brooklyn, had managed to get two scholarships from the Greek expatriate community for the School of Film, one for Paulina for acting classes, and one for her Dina for costume design. They had also found free accommodation for them for a year. It would be up to the girls to decide when they would go.
A thorny issue was how their parents would react, the girls having purposely avoided telling them anything in order not to find obstacles in their way, but the two girls realized that they could not keep putting off telling their families about their plans for ever. They already had open tickets.
“I was right when I said we would be left alone here!” commented Iakovos melancholically, knowing that even if he wanted to leave the provinces his family obligations would not allow it. Urania and Sofia were shaking their heads thoughtfully. On the one hand they were happy to see their childhood friends spreading their wings to their future, but on the other hand they regretted losing companions with whom they had been together from nursery school. They knew that their absence would be very obvious. Only Melina, sitting quietly in her chair, hardly made a sound. She was already hiding a big secret from her friends and it would be sure that she would never ever reveal it - her night of sex with Sarantos. She loved him, she felt for him; guilt and bitterness stabbed at her, knowing that Sarantos was leaving because of her, but she would never admit it. She had deprived him for many years of a more permanent place next to her, putting aside every emotion that could commit her. Emotions were one thing; harsh reality another. She had fought many battles in her life until today; she had been splattered with the mud of humiliation and was determined not to wage another fight that had to do with her personal life. From now on she would chase after what was easy, what was painless, what was comfortable. The night with Sarantos was a present that she gave first to herself and then to Sarantos. She wanted to be flesh of his flesh, a piece of his soul; she wanted to lock inside her forever the mental and physical integration with her fellow traveler of all these years that her difficult decisions and the need to distance herself had made her send away, even after their magical coming together. She wasn’t worthy of honest, good-looking, pure Sarantos, and he wasn’t the right man for her. He was lacking in those prerequisites that she had laid down and which came down to just one thing – money. And there couldn’t be a bigger obstacle for long suffering Melina…
Two hours later the group broke up. It was time for their afternoon rest. Dina was determined not to put off telling her father about her plans any longer. Whatever he did, whatever prohibitions he may try and impose on her, she would leave. When her father came, she courageously told him all about her plans. She expected him to react violently, but what his tired face showed was worry and agony.
“Where will you go, a mere girl, to a strange land at the end of the earth, my child? Are you out of your mind?” he said to her.
“I won’t be going alone, father. Paulina will be with me. My uncle has arranged everything for us, school and accommodation. There is nothing here for me to do professionally and I want to work and improve my life. Please don’t stand in my way. You’ll ruin my future!”
Her father listened to her as she spoke without uttering a word. He saw that the die had been cast. Dina, obstinate by nature, could not be convinced to change her mind. Besides which, he had no alternative to offer her. He was just a poor taxi driver scraping to make ends meet. For him to marry her off would be difficult. There wasn’t a dowry with which to tempt a husband. If he went against her wishes, she would run off secretly, and he knew that his daughter would have thought of this too. He was forced to agree and to let her leave…
The two next hours went by with advice being given and to the pointing out of various things to her. Dina was very willing to listen to advice. The much desired green light had opened the way to new prospects for an optimistic and hopeful future…
When Paulina returned home she found her mother Vaggelio cooking beans. The relationship between the two women had for many years been tense. Paulina never understood or ignored Vaggelio’s sexual behaviour that infuriated, belittled and shamed her. Each new affair of Vaggelio’s caused such tension and anguish in her that even when she went out with the group to the village square her mind was driven to such despair by the whispers and hints that she thought that even the trees were mocking her. How many quarrels, how many bitter words, how many tears had been wasted. Vaggelio would not change her tune and would never change her habits until she grew old when not an attractive male, but any male, would come near her…
Paulina felt no obligation to update her about her decisions. She had no respect for her. She didn’t even know if she loved her though she bore the title of birth mother. All she wanted to do was simply to announce that she was leaving, more concerned for her sisters who would be left behind to carry the burden of their mother’s behaviour and the social sarcasm that accompanied it until they themselves would come of age and be able to disappear to avoid the long term outcry and the endless comments of their fellow citizens.
When they sat down at table Paulina told them of her plans. She was leaving the town for good. Vaggelio was taken aback but did not put forward any objections. The relationship between her and her daughter had been a pot that had been boiling for many years. Maybe it was better for both of them for their daily conflicts to end with one of them leaving, for the good of the younger children.
“Do whatever God tells you,” she said to Paulina. Her younger sisters burst into tears and begged her not to go away. Paulina was resolute. One day they would understand that her choices were very limited, or to be more exact, only one – to flee in order to save what was left of her personal pride and dignity that her hot-blooded mother, according to her, had soiled.
A month later the two girls left to chase their dream. Dina’s father would drive them to Piraeus in his taxi in order for them to avoid the ordeal of travelling by public transport. Kisses and hugs again; an emotionally charged scene, again, at the parting from friends and relatives. Paulina and Dina held back their tears in order not to appear weak because they wanted the last image they would project of themselves before leaving to be of two dynamic young women who had no fear of the unknown and would be prepared to work hard and conscientiously for a successful future.
The group of youngsters, decimated by the absence of Sarantos, Dina and Paulina, felt like someone who was slowly but steadily losing their limbs, one by one; losing parts of their childhood, one by one. First there was Mary, married now, who couldn’t share in their life and limited herself to meetings for a coffee at her house, or at birthdays and holidays, then Sarantos, and now Dina and Paulina. Those left behind were Iakovos, Urania, Sofia, Melina and Mary, who, as soon as her friends’ taxi was out of sight left for her home because she had to cook lunch for Anestis, her husband. Sofia told the others that she was starting work on Monday at the Town Hall. The Member of Parliament who had been approached by her father had kept his promise to him for fear of losing votes and the young woman would from now on have a secure job and an assured, albeit small, wage and would not have to worry in the future.
Urania, on the other hand, was in constant conflict with her father, the headmaster. Despite the fact that she had finished high school at the top of her class, she stubbornly refused to sit her university entrance exams. The only thing she wanted was to marry for love and have a family. She didn’t want to work anywhere. Her parents were driven to distraction by their disappointment, but for hard-boiled Urania it was all just water off a duck’s back.
“However much you insist, you won’t get anywhere! I am going to live my life as I want and not as you have planned!” she declared after their last argument the previous evening. Her father was so incensed that he threatened to throw her out of the house.
“I’m not prepared to have you in my way, lazing and not wanting to do anything!” he shouted at her.
“I’ll look after the house, I’ll cook, I’ll help in the field, and thus mother will get some rest,” Urania answered back. With her mother Maria’s intervention, matters calmed down somewhat. Her father went to lie down with the bitter certainty that a worthy and cultivated brain would go to waste and would limit itself to mundane, commonplace, working-class chores.
After Mary’s departure the four remaining members of the group stayed behind in the square to drink a coffee. Iakovos became the brunt of jokes by the girls because of the way he noisily and hurriedly sucked up his cold instant coffee through the straw, having to go and help his mother at their small haberdashery. He soon left and the three girls stayed behind, looking curiously around them at the faces of various unknown of people sitting near them and at the passers-by. The tourist season had begun and a number of foreigners had arrived at the attractive seaside town.
“Finally, we are going to liven up a little!” commented Urania, scrutinizing a good-looking Scandinavian tourist with interest. “I’m fed up with seeing the same faces again and again! Isn’t he a dish?” She asked her friends, pointing out the object of her admiration. They agreed and carried on commenting on every new arrival that passed in front of them.
Melina took little part in the incessant chatter. Her eyes were focused on a shiny expensive-looking sports car. The vehicle stopped a few meters away from the girls. Its driver, a handsome man of about thirty five locked it and went to sit at the next table, ordering a coffee.
“Cool guy!” whispered Sofia so as not to be heard by the man. Melina could not take her eyes off him. She was impressed by the flashy car and realized that she also liked its driver. It looked like the stranger was flush with money. At some moment the man turned and looked without interest at the girls making them hurriedly take their eyes off him. His gaze, concealed by his dark fashionable sun glasses stopped at Melina. Her unpolished, almost wild beauty impressed him. “Nice piece!” he thought. “I hope she also has a good body.” From where he was sitting he could only see Melina’s face. The rest of her was hidden from view by the torsos of the other girls.
Half an hour later the girls stood up and started for their homes which were in different directions. The man was waiting to see Melina stand up, to judge her as a whole. “She has a very feminine body!” he noted, feeling a wave of desire to possess the girl overtake him as it coursed through his veins. As soon as the young woman had gone round the corner he got up and quickly went to his car. He followed Melina’s passage from the opposite side of the street.
“I hope I can stop her somewhere to say a couple of words to her,” he thought. Ten blocks further on the girl turned left into an uphill dirt road. Stepping on the accelerator not to lose her the man approached and said to her “Miss, can I talk to you?” Melina did not reply, but smiled almost imperceptibly. The stranger pulled up the car at the side of the road and started walking next to her.
“Please go away!” Melina said to him. “My neighbours will see us and I’ll be in trouble with my family.”
“Tell me your name and when we can meet. My name is Paris and I’m from Athens…”
“Oh, so he is from the capital!” noted Melina. “That’s positive.” She turned and looked at him directly, studying his face. He had attractive regular features and when he smiled there was a flash of perfect white teeth. Paris lowered his sunglasses, resting them on his nose and his eyes, blue as the spring sky, fixed themselves playfully on her.
“Have I passed the test?” he asked her. Melina laughed. He was very cute and spontaneous. “I’m Melina,” she said.
“You couldn’t be called anything else, pretty and sweet as you are!” he teased. “When will I see you again?” he asked her.
Melina opened her mouth to refuse but his hand reached out and squeezed her elbow.
“Please don’t say no! I only want ten minutes of your time!”
The truth was that Paris had impressed Melina from the first moment. She told him she would meet him at sundown at eight where the beach ended and the rocks began.
“I’ll find the spot, Melina,” he saidblowing her a kiss as he entered his car and in a few moments he was gone around a bend in the street.
Melina looked around to see if there was a neighbour on a balcony or at a window. Luckily she didn’t see anyone. She went home and spent the next few hours until eight bringing back again and again the image of the stranger, impressed as she was not only by his appearance and by the expensive car that gave him more status in her eyes, but also by his relaxed manner and his easy ability to approach the opposite sex. Yes! She liked Paris and wanted very much to see him. Immediately though an unpleasant thought came across her. What would she wear for their meeting? She had such a limited set of clothes! She went to the makeshift wardrobe that contained all the family’s wear and started searching through the section that was hers. She looked at two or three items that were hanging there. As designs they were not worth talking about and were so worn by time that they would look as if they had come from a waste bin, even though they had just been washed. Her heart tightened again. How tired she was of not even having the essentials, how disgusted she was by poverty and its constant privations! It was so unfair that she couldn’t buy a new, even cheap, dress and to have to make do with hand-me-downs or clothes borrowed on special occasions from her friends and being dependant on others’ charity.
“When will this martyrdom, this humiliation, end?” she wondered for the thousandth time.
She found a T-shirt and a skirt that didn’t show signs of constant wear. She would wear these at the meeting that she was determined to attend. She washed her hair which gleamed when she let it down over her back. She would have wanted to have lipstick to brighten up her lips, but it was an item that was beyond her means.
“It doesn’t matter, I’ll be a natural beauty!” she sarcastically said to herself. At ten to eight she was already at the spot where she was to meet Paris. On the way there she thought that she may be going to the beach for nothing and the most likely outcome was for the chap not to show up at all; that his whole approach had been nothing more than a joke on her. Her heart leaped when she saw his car parked at a distance and him standing next to it and smoking.
“Welcome!” he said to her when she approached.
“Do you want us to stay here or to go somewhere else?” he asked her.
“Let’s leave here as soon as possible not to be seen by anyone!”Melina said. “I don’t feel like provoking gossip and causing problems…”
