Kitabı oku: «The Witches of New York», sayfa 13
CHAPTER XVI.
MADAME HARRIS, No. 80 WEST 19th STREET, NEAR SIXTH AVENUE
Details the particulars of a morning call on Madame Harris, of No. 80 West 19th Street, and how she covered up her beautiful head in a black bag
Madame Harris is one of the most ignorant and filthy of all the witches of New York. She does not depend entirely on her “astrology” for her subsistence, but relies on it merely to bring in a few dollars in the spare hours not occupied in the practice of the other dirty trades by which she picks up a dishonest living. She has a good many customers, and in one way and another she contrives to get a good deal of money from the gullible public. She has been engaged in business a number of years, and has thriven much better than she probably would, had she been employed in an honester avocation.
The “Individual” paid her a visit, and carefully noted down all her valuable communications; he has told the whole story in the words following:
We all believe in Aladdin, and have as much faith in his uncle as in our own; but we don’t know the pattern of his lamp, we have no photograph of the genii that obeyed it, and we can make no correct computation of the market value of the two hundred slaves with jars of jewels on their heads. The customer, who is determined that posterity shall be able to make no such complaint of him or of his history, here solemnly undertakes, upon the faith of his salary, to relate the unadorned truth, and to indulge in no ad libitum variations – imagining, while he writes, that he sees in the distance the critical public, like a many-headed Gradgrind, singing out lustily for “Facts, sir, facts.”
The next fact, then, to be investigated and sworn to, is this Madame Harris, a very dirty female fact indeed, residing in the upper part of the city, and advertising as follows:
“Madame Harris. – This mysterious Lady is a wonder to all – her predictions are so true. She can tell all the events of life. Office, No. 80 West 19th-st., near 6th-av. Hours 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Ladies 25 cts.; Gentlemen 50 cts. She causes speedy marriages; charge extra.”
Wearily the inquirer plodded his way on foot to West 19th Street, fearing to trust himself to a stage or car, lest the careless conversation of the unthinking, and the reprehensible jocularity of the little boys who hang about the corners of the streets which intersect the Sixth Avenue, and pelt unwary passengers with paving-stones, should divert his mind from the importance and great moral responsibility of his mission.
After encountering a large assortment of the dangers and discomforts incident to pedestrianism in New York in muddy weather, he achieved West 19th street, and stood in sight of the mysterious domicile of Madame Harris.
It is a tenement house, shabby-genteel even in its first pretentious newness; but it has now lost its former appearance even of semi-respectability, and has degenerated to a state of dirt only conceivable by those unhappy families who live two in a house, and are in a constant state of pot-and-kettle war, and of mutual refusing to clean out the common hall.
A little mountain of potato skins, and bones, and other kitchen refuse, round which he was forced to make a detour, plainly said to the traveller that the population of the house No. 80 were in the habit of depositing garbage in the gutters, under cover of the night, and in violation of the city ordinance. A highly-perfumed atmosphere surrounds this delightful abode, for the first floor thereof is occupied as a livery stable, which constantly exhales those sweet and pungent odors peculiar to equine habitations.
Pulling the sticky bell-handle with as dainty a touch as possible, the Individual was admitted by a slatternly weak-eyed girl of about eighteen, with her hair and dress as tumbled as though she had just been run through a corn-shelling machine, and who was so unnecessarily dirty that even her face had not been washed. She was further distinguished by a wart on her nose of such shape and dimensions that it gave her face the appearance of being fortified by a many-sided fort, which commanded the whole countenance.
This interesting young female welcomed her visitor with a clammy “Come in,” and led the way up stairs, he following, in due dread of being for ever extinguished by an avalanche of unwashed keelers and kettles, which were unsteadily piled up on the landing, and which an incautious touch would have toppled over, and deluged the stairs with unknown sweet-smelling compounds, whose legitimate destination was the sewer. On the second floor, directly, judging from the noise, over the stall of the balkiest horse in the stable below, is the room of the Madame.
The customer took an observation:
The furnishings of the apartment showed an attempt to keep up a show, which was by far too miserably transparent to hide the slovenliness which peeped out everywhere through the tawdry gilding. There were so many oil paintings on the walls, in such gaudy frames, that it seemed as if the room had been dipped into a bath of cheap auction pictures, and hadn’t been wiped dry, or had been out in a shower of them, and hadn’t come in until it had got very wet. A broad gilt window cornice stood leaning in the corner of the room, instead of being in its legitimate place; a pair of lace curtains were wadded up and thrown in a chair, while the windows were covered with the commonest painted muslin shades; a piano-stool stood in the middle of the room, but there was no piano.
These were the indications of “better days;” these were the shallow traps set to inveigle the beholder into a belief in the opulence of the occupants of this charming residence.
But the little cooking-stove, on which two smoothing irons were heating, the scraps of different patterned carpets which hid the floor, and made it appear as if covered with some kind of variegated woollen chowder, the second-hand, conciliating please-buy-me look of the three chairs, and the dirt and greasy grime which gave a character to the place, told at once the true state of facts.
On one side of the room was a little door, evidently communicating with a closet or small bedroom; on this door was a slip of tin, on which was painted
Office. – Madam Harris, Astrologist
and into this “office” the weak-eyed girl disappeared, with a shame-faced look, as if she had tried to steal her visitor’s pocket-book, and hadn’t succeeded. Presently there came from the closet a sound of half-suppressed merriment, as if a constant succession of laughs were born there, full grown and boisterous, but were instantly garroted by some unknown power, until each one expired in a kind of choky giggle. There was also a noise of the making of a bed, the hustling of chairs, the putting away of toilet articles out of sight, and over all was heard the chiding voice of Madame Harris, who was evidently dressing herself, superintending these other various operations, and scolding the weak-eyed maiden all at once.
At last this latter individual got so far the better of her jocularity that she was able to deport herself with outward seriousness when she emerged from the mysterious closet, and said to the Individual, “Walk in.” At this time she was under so great a head of laugh that she would inevitably have exploded, had she not, the instant her visitor turned his back, let go her safety-valve, and relieved herself by a guffaw which would have been an honor and a credit to any one of the horses on the first floor.
The room in which Madame Harris was waiting to receive her customer was so dark that he stumbled over a chair, and fell across a bed before he could see where he was. Then he recovered himself, and took an observation.
The room was a very small one – so diminutive, indeed, that the bed, which occupied one side of it, reduced the available space more than two-thirds. It was partitioned off from the rest of the room by a dirty patch-work bed-quilt, with more holes than patches. The walls were scrawled over with pencil-marks, evidently drawings made by young children, who had the usual childish notions of proportion and perspective; and on one side of the wall, near the head of the bed, a bit of pasteboard persisted in this startling announcement —
tERms CasH
A narrow strip of rag carpet was on the floor; a small stand and a chair completed the furnishing of the room, and a single smoky pewter lamp exhausted itself in a dismal combat with the gloom, which constantly got the better of it.
When the Cash Inquirer stumbled, and took an involuntary leap into the middle of the bed, an awful voice came out of the dreariness, saying, “There is a chair right there behind you.” This information proved to be correct, and the discomfited delegate subsided into it, and gazed stolidly at the Madame. If Madame Harris were worth as much by the pound as beef, her market-price would be about twenty-five dollars. She was attired in a loose morning-gown, of an exceedingly flashy pattern, open before, disclosing a skirt meant to be white, but whose cleanliness was merely traditional. Of her countenance her visitor cannot speak, for it was carefully hidden from his inquiring gaze, and its unknown beauties are left to the imagination of the reader. Perched mysteriously on the back of her head, where it was retained by some feminine hocus-pocus, which has ever been a sealed mystery to mankind, was a little black bonnet, marvellous in pattern and design; from this depended a long black veil, covering her countenance, and disguising her as effectually as if she had washed her face and put on a clean dress.
She proceeded at once to business, and opened conversation with this appropriate remark: “My terms is fifty cents for gentlemen, and the pay is always in advance.”
Here followed a disbursement on the part of the anxious seeker after knowledge, and an approving chuckle was heard under the veil.
Taking up a pack of cards so overlaid with dirt that it was a work of time and study to tell a queen from a nine spot, or distinguish the knaves from the aces, she presented them with the imperative remark: “Cut them once.”
Then ensued the following wonderful predictions uttered by a dubious and uncertain voice under the veil – which voice seemed one minute to come from the mouth, then it issued from the throat, then it sprawled out of the stomach, then it was heard from the back of the head under the bonnet, and in the course of a few minutes it came from so many places, that the puzzled hearer was dubious as to its exact whereabouts – these curious effects being, doubtless, attributable to the thick covering over the face. But its various communications, when gathered together, were found to sum up as follows:
“You face back misfortune and trouble, of which you have had much, but they are now behind you, and you have no more to fear. You will henceforth be successful in business, you will have a great deal of money. Your affection card faces up a young woman with dark eyes and dark hair, about twenty-three years old; she is older than she has led you to believe; there is a dark-complexioned man whom you will see in two days, who is your enemy; you may not know it, but you had better beware of him, for he will do you an injury, if he can; you will see him and speak with him the night of day-after-to-morrow. Your marriage card faces up this dark woman, as I said before. I don’t see a great deal of money layin’ round her, but there is plenty of money layin’ round you in the future. Somebody will die and leave you money within nine weeks, not counting this week. You was born under the planet Mars, which gives you two lucky days in every week – Mondays and Thursdays; anything you begin on those days will surely succeed.”
Here she handed the cards to be cut again, which operation disclosed a new feature in the Individual’s matrimonial future, for she went on to say:
“There is another woman who faces your love-card, who has light hair and light eyes; she favors your love-card and will be your first wife; you will have five children – four girls and one boy; look out for the dark-complexioned man, for he favors your first wife, and, though she does not favor him very much, he will try to get her away from you. Your line of life is long; you will live to be sixty-eight years old, but you will die very suddenly, for your line of death crosses your line of life very suddenly, which always brings sudden death.”
Having given this cheering promise, she again held out the cards to be cut, and said, “Cut them again now, and make a wish at the same time, and I will tell you if you will have your wish.”
When the required ceremony had been solemnly performed, she continued: “You will have your wish, but not right away; don’t expect to get it before week after next, but then you will be sure to have it, for there is no disappointment in the cards for you.” She then informed her customer that she always answered unerringly two questions, which he was now at liberty to propound. He made a couple of inquiries relative to his future business prospects, and received in reply the promise of most gratifying results.
Having then, as he supposed, got his money’s worth, he was about to take his leave, when she interrupted him thus:
“I have a charm for securing good luck to whoever wears it; you can wear it, and your most intimate friend would never suspect it; my charge is one dollar for gentlemen; a great many have bought it of me; many merchants who were on the point of failing have come to me and possessed this charm, and been saved; you had better possess it, for it will be sure to bring you good luck; if you possess it, you will always be successful in business; Mr. Lynch of Mott Street possessed it, and has been very lucky ever since, besides a great number I could name; my advice to you is, possess the charm.”
She then put her elbows on her knees after the manner of a Fulton Market apple-pedler, in which classic attitude she awaited an answer. The decision was not favorable to her hopes; for the economical customer concluded not to invest in the charm, although it had brought such excellent fortune to Mr. Lynch of Mott Street. He departed, encountering again in his progress the weak-eyed one, who met him with a smile, escorted him to the door with a great laugh, and dismissed him with a joyous grin.
CHAPTER XVII.
A BATCH OF WITCHES
Treats of the peculiarities of several Witches in a single batch
The fortune-tellers so elaborately described in the foregoing chapters are by no means the only ones in New York, engaged in that lucrative occupation; there are several others who were visited by the Individual, but who in their surroundings approach so nearly to those already set down, that a detailed description of each would necessarily be a somewhat monotonous repetition. So the prophecy only of each one is here writ down, with a few words suggestive of the character of the immediate neighborhood, leaving the imaginative reader to fill up the blank himself, or to turn back to some foregoing chapter for a picture of a similar locality, if he prefers it ready-made to his hands.
MADAME DE BELLINI, No. 159 FORSYTH STREET
For the benefit of those not familiar with the streets of New York, it is perhaps well to mention that Forsyth Street is a dirty thoroughfare, two streets east of the Bowery, and that it is filled for the most part with small groceries, junk shops, swill milk dispensaries, and stalls for the sale of diseased vegetables and decaying fruit, and that the inhabitants are mostly delegates from Africa, and from the Green Isle of the Sea.
Immediately adjoining the domicil of Madame de Bellini is a filthy little vegetable store, and on the opposite corner is an equally filthy Irish grocery, where are dispensed swill milk and poisoned whiskey. The residence of the Madame is a low two-story brick house, of rather better appearance than many of its neighbors, which are principally wooden buildings with those old-fashioned peculiar roofs, with little windows close under the cornice, which make a house look as if it had had its hat knocked over its eyes.
Madame de Bellini is a Dutchwoman of very large dimensions, being a two-hundred-and-fifty-pounder at the lowest estimate. Like most fat women, she is good-natured and smiling. She is apparently 35 years old, of pleasant manners, somewhat embarrassed by the difficulty she has in communicating her ideas in English, and is much neater in person and dress than the majority of ladies in the same line of business. She would be a popular bar-maid at a lager-bier saloon, and would preside over the fortunes of the sausage and Swiss cheese table, with eminent success, and satisfaction to the public.
She welcomed the Cash Customer in a jolly sort of way, introduced him to her private apartment, and seated him on a chair at one side of a little table, while she bestowed herself on a stool opposite.
Having ascertained that he did not speak German with sufficient fluency to carry on an animated conversation in that tongue, or to comprehend a rapidly spoken discourse delivered therein, she was compelled to ventilate her English, which she did, beginning as follows:
“I speak not vera mooch goot English – I speak German and French, but no goot English.”
The Individual, with his usual caution, inquired how much she proposed to charge for her services. She responded thus:
“I tell your fortoon fier ein tollar, or I can tell your fortoon fier ein half-tollar.”
Fifty cents’ worth was enough to begin with, so she took his left hand in her huge fist, and as a preliminary operation squeezed it till he gave it up for lost, and in the intervals of his suffering hastily ran over in his mind the various ways in which one-handed people get a living; then she relented and did not deprive him of that useful member, but said:
“You have goot hand, vera goot hand – your hand gifs you goot fortoon. You was born under goot blanet, vera nice blanet, you have vera nice fortoon. You have mooch rich, vera great monish; you haf seen drubbles, (trouble) vera mooch drubbles – more drubbles you haf seen, as you will see some more – dat is, you shall not have so many drubbles py and py as you haf had long ago, for you haf goot blanet. You will journeys make mooch in footoor (future) years. You will have two wifes and mooch kindes (children) in der footoor years, and you will be vera mooch happy und bleasant mit der wife vot you shall have der first dime, but not so mooch happy und bleasant mit der wife vot you shall have der two time, but you shall vera mooch monish have in der fortoor years.”
She then released the hand of her visitor, who was very glad to get it back again, and took up a pack of cards, which she manipulated in the customary style, and then said:
“Your carts run vera nice; you have goot carts; here is a shentleman’s as ish vera goot to you, he is great friends mit you: here is a letter vot you shall be come to you right avays vera soon – it ish goot news to you; you must do joost vot das letter says. Here ish a brown girls vot lofs (loves) you vera mooch, but you do not lofs dat girls, so much as das girls lofs you – you will not be der vife of das girl, for there is anunther girls vot you lofs bretty bad und you will marry her; she is bretty goot girls und you will be happy, you will hof lots of kindes mit das girls. Das girls haf a man now vos lof her vera mooch – he is was you call das soldier; he lofs her mooch but he shall not hof her, you shall hof das girls. Here is great man was will be good friend to you; he ish vera great man, a big king; not vas you call der könig, but your big mans, your, vos is das, your bresident – de bresident bees goot friends mit you – here is dark mans, he ish no goot friend mit you, und you must keep away from das dark mans.”
This was all the information she appeared to derive from this pack, which were ordinary playing cards, so she laid them aside and took up the regular fortune-telling cards, which are covered with various mysterious devices. These did not seem to communicate anything of very special importance in addition to what she had already said, for she examined them closely and then merely summed up as follows:
“Goot fortoon, goot blanet, goot vifes, blenty monish, mooch kindes, not more troubles in der footoor years, big friends, bresident mooch friends mit you, lif long, ninety-nine years before you die, leave fortoon to vife und two kindes.”
The Individual was curious to inquire wherein the fifty-cent dose he had received, differed from the fortunes for which she charged “ein tollar,” and he received the following information:
“For ein tollar I gifs you a charm as you vears on your necks, und it gifs you goot luck for ever, und you never gets drownded, und you lifs long viles, und you bees rich und vera mooch happy.”
The Madame was also good-natured enough to exhibit one of these powerful charms to her customer. It was a piece of parchment, originally about four inches square, but which had been scalloped on the edges, and otherwise cut and carved; on it were inscribed in German, several cabalistic words; this potent document was to be always worn next the heart.
Madame de Bellini has been in New York but a year or two; she speaks French and German, and is taking lessons in English from an American lady. She has many customers, mostly German, and, as in the case of all the other witches, the greatest majority of her visitors are women.
MADAME LEBOND, No. 175 HUDSON STREET
The house in which this woman was sojourning at the time of the visit hereinafter described, is a boarding-house, and the room of the Madame is the back parlor on the second floor.
The Individual was received at the door by a short, greasy, dirty man, about forty years of age, who invited him into the front parlor, to wait until the Madame was disengaged. This man, who is an ignorant, half-imbecile person, passes for the husband of the fortune teller, and is known as Doctor Lebond. He is a man of peculiar appearance; the top of his head is perfectly bald, and the fringe of hair about the lower part of it, is twisted into long corkscrew ringlets, that fall low down on his shoulders.
He informed the customer that the Madame was then engaged, but he seemed undecided about the exact nature of her present employment. He first said she was “tellin’ the futur for a young gal;” then she was “engaged with a literary man;” then “a dry-goods merchant wanted to find out if his head clerk didn’t drink;” but finally he said that “Madame L. is a eatin’ of her dinner.” After some ingenious drawing-out, the Doctor vouchsafed the subjoined statement of his business prospects.
“We seen the time when we hadn’t fifteen minutes a day, on account of young gals a comin’ for to have their fortune told; we used to be busy from mornin’ till ten and ’levin o’clock at night a-tellin’ fortunes an’ a doctorin’ – but now, we don’t do so much ’cause the young gals don’t like to come to a boardin’-house where young men can see ’em, ’specially in the evenin’. We’s too public here; the young men a-boardin’ here likes for to have the young gals come, they likes for to see ’em in the parlor, but the young gals won’t come so much, ’cause we’s too public. We’ll have for to get another house on account of business.
“I don’t get so much doctorin’ to do as I used to, ’cause we’s too public. I have doctored lots of folks, principally young fellers and young gals, and I can do it right. If you ever get into any trouble you’ll find me and my wife all right; you can come to us – we mean to be all right, and to give everybody the worth of their money, and we is all right.”
By this time, Madame Lebond had finished her dinner, and was waiting in the back parlor. She is a fat, slovenly-looking woman, forty years old or more, having no teeth, and taking prodigious quantities of snuff, which gives her enunciation some peculiar characteristics.
When the Individual first beheld her, she was standing in the middle of the floor, picking her teeth. She requested her visitor to take a seat, and to pay her half-a-dollar, with both of which requests he complied. She then put into his hand the end of a brass tube about an inch in diameter and a foot long, and said: “Give be the tibe of your birth as dear as possible.”
This was done, and the following brief dialogue ensued: —
“Was you bord id the bording?”
“I really don’t remember.”
“Do you have beddy dreabs?”
“I do not dream much.”
“Thed you dod’t have bad dreabs?”
“No.”
“Thed you was bord id the bording,” by which mysterious word she probably meant, “morning.” She then continued: —
“You are a pretty keed sbart chap – sharp id busidess, but dot good id speculatiods, ad you should codfide your attedtiods to busidess. If you keep od as you are goidg dow, ad works hard, ad dod’t bix id bad cobpady, ad is hodest, ad dod’t spend your buddy, you will be rich. You will travel buch – you have travelled buch, but your travels is hardly begud; there is a lodg jourdey at sea dow before you, ad you will start od this jourdey bost udexpectedly; you will always be lucky, ad will be very rich. I dod’t say dothin’ to flatter do wud; lots of fellers ad gals cub here ad I tell theb all jest what I see; if I see bad luck I tell theb so; but yours is all good luck, ad I see lots of it for you. You have had bad luck lately, but you will get over your bad luck for you are a pretty sbardt chap, ad have got a good deal of abbitiod, ad you go ahead pretty well. You will barry a gal – a gal as you have seed but dod’t know. Very well, she is a youdg gal, ad a rich gal, ad a good-lookidg gal; you will dot barry her for sobe tibe, but you will barry her at last. She has a beau ad you will likely have sobe trouble with hib, but you will get the gal at last. The gal has light hair ad blue eyes, ad I cad show her to you if you would like to see her.”
Of course the visitor liked to see her; so he was directed to clasp the brass tube in his right hand, and place his hand over the top. Then she stepped behind his chair and began to go through with some extraordinary manual exercises on his head. She felt of the bumps, she squeezed his head, punched it, jerked it from side to side, and twisted it about in every possible direction. What was the object and intention of this performance she did not disclose, but when she had kneaded his unfortunate skull to her satisfaction, she bade him step to the window and look into the tube.
This he did, and he saw a very dingy-looking daguerreotype of a fair-haired damsel with blue eyes, who bore, of course, not the most distant resemblance to any lady of his acquaintance.
Then the fat Madame had a charm to sell, to be worn about the neck, and never taken off, in which case it would secure for the wearer “good luck” for ever.
The Individual declined to purchase and departed, meeting at the door the curly Doctor, who once again offered his medical services in case the stranger ever got into “trouble,” and who once again assured that person with an air of mystery that “me and my wife is all right – yes, you may depend, we is all right, we is.”
MADAME MAR, AND MADAME DE GORE, No. 176 VARICK STREET
These two eminent sorceresses are in partnership, and drive a tolerably fair trade. They advertise in the papers, one week the heading being “Madame Mar, assisted by Madame de Gore,” and the next week, it will be “Madame de Gore, assisted by Madame Mar,” and the profits of the business are shared in the same impartial manner.
The house, No. 176, is in the worst part of Varick Street, and the room occupied by the pair of witches is over a boot and shoe store, and a pawnbroker’s shop is directly opposite.
The room is a small parlor, neatly though plainly furnished, and with no professional implements visible. When the inquirer made his call, Madame de Gore was engaged in the kitchen, in her various household duties, and Madame Mar attended to his call. She is a tall and rather pleasing woman, neatly dressed and of quiet manners.
She secured a dollar in advance, and then led her customer into a little closet-like room, furnished only with a small table and two chairs. She then announced that she is a “phrenologist,” and exhibited a plaster bust with the “bumps” scientifically marked out, and also some phrenological charts and other publications. She proceeded to give the character of her visitor in the usual mode of phrenological examinations, after which she prophesied as follows:
“You were born between Jupiter and Mars, with such stars you can never be unlucky, for although you have seen trouble, it is past. Your luck runs in threes and fives – that is, you are unlucky three years in succession, and lucky the five years following. You are never very unlucky, but you do not do so well in your third house as in your fifth house. You could not be unlucky in your fifth house if you tried. You have now two months to run in your third house, then comes on your fifth house. Just now your life seems to be under a cloud, but after two months you will come out bright and will enjoy five years of clear sunshine, and you will then be very wealthy. You will have more money then than you ever will again, though you will always have plenty. Your wealth runs 14 at the end of five years; after that runs 13½, which is very wealthy. You will marry a young girl, wealthy and beautiful. You will raise two daughters, but you will never have a large family. You will be the father of many children, but your family will never be more than two children. You will go in business with a very wealthy Southern man, his wealth runs 14 – he has two sons and a daughter. You will marry the daughter, though you will be opposed by the father and one son, but the other son will stick by you. You will live with that wife twenty-five years, then she will die and you will travel with your two daughters. You will go to Europe. In England you will marry a French widow. Your two daughters will marry well, and at 72 or 73 years old you will die, leaving a widow, two daughters, and a large fortune.”
