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Hate Me Now, Thank Me Later: How to raise your kid with love and limits
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With so many parenting styles to choose from, when it comes to giving your child the best start in life it can be difficult to know which way to turn. Psychiatrist and mother Robin Burman’s brilliant new book shows you the way: Hate Me Now, Thank Me Later is the definitive guide to helping your child grow with both love and discipline.Whilst in years gone by children were seen and not heard, too often nowadays their every whim and tantrum is pandered to. As much as the former is unthinkable, the latter can also be damaging to a child’s later life: over praised children allowed to set their own limits often become anxious and are unable to deal with the negative emotions they will eventually encounter.Hate Me Now, Thank Me Later finds the perfect balance between the outdated old and the unfortunate new. Through helpful guidance based on Robin’s extensive experience as both a certified psychiatrist and mother, it will teach you to be comfortable setting boundaries whilst maintaining a loving connection; fostering confidence, respect and emotional maturity in your child as a result.Packed with practical advice alongside plenty of sympathetic anecdotes, Hate Me Now, Thank Me Later is the warm, relatable guide to parenting which you can come back to again and again.Robin Berman, MD, is a psychiatrist; associate professor at UCLA; and a founding board member of the UCLA Resnick Neuropsychiatric Hospital.
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Exciting neuroscience research shows that if we parents can model calmness when our emotions are running high, we teach our kids to manage their emotions—what doctors call affect regulation. Affect regulation, in turn, lays down neurological pathways for a more resilient brain.
Rage and punishment may control behavior in the short run. Kids who are scared of their parents might appear submissive and even well behaved. But I assure you that intimidation as a means of control chips away at the foundation of the child’s self-esteem and paves the way for defenses to be built. The child’s real self goes underground.