Kitabı oku: «The Historical Collection», sayfa 14
Chapter Twenty-Six
The morning of the ball was so frantic with preparations that when Gabe met Penny at the door, he didn’t even trouble with greetings.
“Come.” He took her by the hand. “I have something for you in the study.”
When he closed the door behind them, she blushed and dropped her voice to a whisper. “Er, Gabriel … I really would love to, but my hair’s just been washed and pinned, and I’m down to my last few wearable frocks.”
“I’m not after that,” he assured her. “Not that I’d mind it, of course. But it’s not my intent to bend you over the desk for a passionate tryst … today.” After taking a moment to chase that tempting image from his brain, he patted the chair behind the desk. “Sit.”
Gabe opened a strongbox hidden in a cabinet and withdrew a large, flat velvet box. He placed the box on the desk blotter, inordinately anxious. “Go on, then. Open it.”
She lifted the top and peered inside. “Oh, Gabriel.”
He moved behind the chair, looking over her shoulder at the sparkling array of rings. Diamond, ruby, sapphire, emerald … every precious gem he could think to request at the jeweler’s, and a few he hadn’t known existed.
“I thought you’d prefer to be surprised, but I didn’t trust myself to choose one you liked. So I simply bought them all.”
“They’re exquisite.”
He waved off her praise. “None of them are fine enough for you.”
“I don’t need even one ring so grand, let alone a tray of them.”
“Too late. They’re all yours. Wear them all at once, if you like. Or designate one for each day of the week.”
She pried a ring from the velvet padding—a pale pink diamond set in gold and ringed with smaller sparkling stones. “I always did love pink.”
“Try it on.”
Penny slipped the ring on her third finger. She held her hand at a distance to admire the way the stone flashed in the light.
“It’s beautiful.” She rose from the chair and kissed him. “Thank you. I love it.”
He exhaled, relieved. “Good. Now let’s have it back. I’ll lock it up for safekeeping.”
She held her hand close to her chest. “Must I take it off?”
“Yes, you must. We’re not engaged.”
She arched one golden eyebrow and smiled. “Yet.”
Good God. He didn’t know where her faith in him originated—dropped off by pixies floating on the breeze with toadstool parasols, most likely—but at this point, he didn’t bloody well care. If he pulled this off, he would be either the most cunning bastard in England, or the luckiest. Probably both.
Pouting a bit, she twisted the ring off her finger and dropped it into his hand. “We’ve agreed to marry each other. Bended knee or not, that seems to meet the definition of a betrothal.”
“It doesn’t meet my definition,” he said firmly. “Not until I’ve spoken with your brother.”
He replaced the rings in the safe, taking his time to be certain the strongbox was locked securely.
When he was finished, he turned to see Penny crouched on the floor, surrounded by scattered papers and correspondence. Papers she was never meant to see.
“Gabriel, what is all this?”
“It’s not what you think.”
“I can read.” Clutching the papers in both hands, Penny shook her head. “You’re planning to ruin my family.”
Penny hadn’t been meaning to snoop, but as she’d risen from the desk chair, she’d knocked the papers to the floor. When she crouched to retrieve them, she saw her own name. It was a betrothal contract.
She scanned through the first few pages, feeling entirely justified in doing so. This would be her marriage, too. Apparently, he’d made several drafts. Just like the rings, he’d prepared for every possibility. Why hadn’t he consulted her?
And then, at the bottom of the pile, she found an agreement that wasn’t drafted in her name. It bore Bradford’s name, and it wasn’t a betrothal contract.
It was a betrayal.
“You were never meant to see those,” he said.
“Oh, I can imagine I wasn’t,” she replied.
She certainly understood why Gabriel had kept these papers from her view. The reason was inscribed in black ink on crisp parchment, legible and stark, defying her to hope there could be any misunderstanding.
The truth was plain, and it was a dagger to her heart.
“This says you’ve purchased a loan from the bank. A loan taken against my family’s property.”
She lifted her head and found Gabriel staring back at her. His expression was inscrutable.
He didn’t even attempt to deny it. “Yes, I did.”
“That mortgage was drawn for the purpose of farmland improvements. It was meant to help tenants through the lean harvests, keep them from starving. Now you’re threatening to call in the debt unless my brother agrees to our marriage?”
“No, no. You’re misunderstanding.”
She rattled the contract at him. “It’s right here, in plain language.”
“I’m not threatening to call in the debt. I’m offering to forgive the debt entirely. In exchange for your dowry.”
Her jaw dropped. “That’s supposed to sound better?”
He pushed a hand through his hair. “It was meant as a last resort, to be used only if he wouldn’t give his consent. Call it insurance.”
“I call it insulting. Because that’s what it is. You planned to do this without my ever knowing? I’d blithely go about telling everyone how devoted we are to each other, and all the time my family would know the truth. That I was purchased.” She let the paper slip to the floor as she stood. “When you said you insisted on doing this ‘properly,’ I had no idea this is what you intended.”
“Don’t make so much of it. We both know how aristocrat marriages work. No matter which man you married, your dowry would be a legal transaction.”
“Yes, of course,” she said bitterly. “Because what man would marry me without financial inducement.”
“There’s no financial inducement on my part.” He gestured at the papers. “I’m not even coming out ahead. The amount of your brother’s loan is far greater than your dowry. I’d be losing money on you.”
The words hit her like pebbles winged by a cruel schoolboy.
He swore. “That came out worse than I intended.”
“I certainly hope so. This is a nightmare.” She retrieved the papers and ripped them down the center, shearing them in half. Then she took the halves of the sheets and slowly tore those into even smaller pieces. That still wasn’t enough. She kept up her grim, methodical shredding until the pieces became bits, and the bits became snowflakes.
“My solicitor has copies of those,” he said.
“I don’t care. It was satisfying anyhow.”
He came around the desk, closing the distance between them. “Your brother is never going to agree to our marriage unless some form of leverage is applied. Did you have a better idea?”
“Yes! Here is my wild idea. I will tell him that I love you with all my heart, and that I wish to spend the rest of my life with you. And if he says no, we’ll marry without his blessing.”
He took her by the shoulders. “Think about what you’re suggesting. Your family would shun you. Everyone will say you’ve been ruined.”
“I don’t care what anyone says.”
“Well, I care. I care what people say about you. What they say about us, our children. Penny, I’m telling you—”
“Telling me? I thought a proposal involved asking me. I fell in love with you partly because you respected my choices, on everything from my dinner to my engagement ring. Suddenly, you’ve become an autocrat.”
He sighed wearily. “I’m trying to protect you. I’ll do whatever is required to keep you from becoming a scandal, even if that means taking matters into my own hands.”
“What does that mean?”
“If your brother knows how we’ve spent the past few weeks, I’m sure he’d agree we must wed.”
Oh, Lord. Her stomach knotted. “You would tell him I’m ruined.”
His expression was hard.
“Soiled in the eyes of society,” she went on. “Worthless. That he has no choice but to bless the match, because how could anyone else ever want me.”
“You know I don’t see you that way.”
“But you are willing to let my family see me that way, and then use that to your advantage. After everything you know of my past, I can’t believe you would stand here and even suggest such a thing.” She wrapped her arms about the hollowness in her chest and hugged tight. “Everyone warned me not to trust you. All my friends. I refused to listen.”
“You knew my reputation from the first. I never claimed to be anything else.”
“I suppose you didn’t. I was naïve enough to fall in love with you anyway.”
“Maybe you didn’t fall in love with me,” he snapped. “Maybe you fell in love with a man who doesn’t exist.”
“Maybe you don’t truly love me at all.”
She waited for him to contradict the statement. Assure her that yes, he loved her beyond anything. Instead, he released her and passed a hand over his face. “You’re emotional. Fatigued. You should go home and rest.”
“I’m going home, but not to rest. I’m going to pack my things. You’re right, perhaps it’s time I reached out to my family. I can leave with Bradford tonight.”
“Penny, wait.”
“No,” she said. “I’ve waited long enough. I’ve lost ten years of my life to secrets and shame, and I refuse to surrender a single day more. Not even for you.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
“MRS. ROBBINS! MRS. ROBBINS!”
Delilah—the bird who couldn’t learn “I love you” after a thousand repetitions of the phrase—had learned to mimic this instead. The parrot had the poor housekeeper running all over the house.
Penny rose from the bed where she’d been moping all afternoon and dragged herself down the stairs before Mrs. Robbins could take the trouble to climb them.
When she arrived downstairs, however, she found the drawing room stacked with boxes. Small boxes, large boxes, hatboxes. In the middle of them all stood Emma.
“Surprise!” Emma spread her arms, gesturing toward the boxes with a tacit voilà. “Your wardrobe has arrived. I told you it would be finished in time. A full complement of frocks and underthings for daily wear, two evening gowns suitable for the opera or the theater, gloves and heeled slippers to match—and of course, your gown for the ball. I can’t wait to show you everything.”
“Don’t bother.” Penny removed a stack of boxes from a chair and numbly sat down.
“What?”
“Leave them boxed. It will save me the trouble of repacking them when I leave.”
“Oh, no. Did your aunt refuse to help you?”
Penny shook your head.
“Your brother, then. He won’t change his mind?”
“It’s not my family. It’s …” Tears pressed to her eyes. “Emma, I feel like such a fool.”
Penny broke down and told her friend everything. Everything. From Cumberland and secret dancing lessons, all the way up through the contracts and heartbreak. She condensed a great many of the details by necessity, but she held nothing back.
By the end, the two of them were side by side on the divan, each of them dabbing their eyes with handkerchiefs. Even Delilah gave a mournful whistle. Mrs. Robbins brought a pot of comforting tea.
Emma embraced her. “Penny, dear. I am so sorry.”
“I don’t know what to do. You all attempted to warn me, and I thought I knew better. I believed he was good inside, at his core. I thought that he would set aside these ruthless vendettas once he came to believe that, too. My judgment failed me.” She sniffed. “I ought to have known it when he insulted my sandwiches.”
“You weren’t a fool,” Emma said. “You trusted your heart. And to be honest, I’m not convinced your heart was wrong.”
“Were you listening to anything I said?”
“I know. What he did was horrible. I’m not excusing him for it. But men do nonsensical things when they’re in love, and they become perfectly idiotic when they’re afraid of losing it. Don’t be too hard on yourself. The good qualities you saw in him do exist, even if he’s allowed them to be vanquished by fear or anger. No one is entirely good or entirely bad.” Emma took her by the hand. “You look for the best in people. It’s one of the qualities I most admire in you. You’re so brave.”
“I’m not brave.”
“You have more courage than anyone I know. Even having been hurt so deeply, you persist in opening your heart time and time again.”
“To kittens, maybe.”
“To people, too. Me, for one. I’ll never forget how you invited me to tea the very week I married Ash. We’d never even met, and no other lady of the ton would have acknowledged my existence. A seamstress turned duchess? Somehow you understood how desperately I would need a friend.”
Penny smiled at her friend. “Inviting you to tea was one of the wisest things I’ve ever done. Not the bravest.”
“It was sheer courage. I could have been a murderer.” Emma sipped her tea. “And it wasn’t only me. Nicola, Alexandra, Ash, Chase … You’re the paste that binds us all together. Reaching out takes courage, and holding on takes even more.”
Penny cradled Freya in her hands, stroking her quills along the grain. The hedgehog rolled over and uncurled, exposing her white, fluffy belly for a scratch. “I felt safe with him. I told him everything. He told me I was a treasure, one impervious to tarnish. That I could never be ruined. And even if I knew that for myself in my mind, for the first time I felt safe to truly believe it in my heart.”
“Penny.”
“He betrayed my trust in him. But what’s so much worse, he betrayed my trust in myself.”
“Then borrow mine. Whatever it is you want to do next, I have absolute faith in you. We’ll all be cheering you on, and we’ll be there if you need us.”
Penny gave Freya’s tuft of fur a thoughtful stroke. What did she want to do next? Her heart and mind were too tattered to contemplate dreams of the future. She only knew what she didn’t want to do. She didn’t want to give up and hide.
Emma had taken the time and effort to produce this new wardrobe heaped in boxes around them. Penny had said good-bye to some of her animals, sending them out to be brave on their own. She owed it to Hubert to try, didn’t she? To her friends, as well.
Mostly, she owed it to herself. Three weeks ago, she’d struck a wager with her aunt, and she’d already come this far. She wanted to win.
Penny gently set Freya in her basket, then surveyed the heaps of boxes surrounding them. “Which one of these has the ball gown?”
Emma jumped to her feet, clapping with excitement. “I was afraid you’d never ask.” She navigated the room and found the largest of the boxes. “I didn’t want to press you, but it would have killed me to leave it unused. Three seamstresses worked for days on the embroidery alone.”
While Penny cleared the tea service, Emma lifted the box onto the tea table. She drummed her fingers on top, increasing the suspense. “Are you ready?”
She swallowed hard. “I think so.”
Emma whisked the top off the box, revealing a cloud of tissue. “Prepare to be dazzled.”
Chapter Twenty-Eight
“Beautiful.”
“Remarkable.”
“Stunning. Absolutely stunning.”
Ever since arriving at the ball, Penny had heard many similar compliments. Sadly, none of them were directed at her. They were merely uttered near her.
“Never in my life have I seen so many craned necks.” Nicola surveyed the crowded ballroom.
“You should attend a gathering of astronomers,” Alexandra said.
“This is more like a gathering of ostriches.”
The dancing hadn’t yet begun, but the orchestra played light music while guests moved through the rooms, admiring the opulent decor. The mirrored walls, the paintings in gilt frames, the carved moldings, the waterfalls of blue velvet drapery framing the windows.
Here in the ballroom, the soaring ceilings drew the largest share of attention. Someone viewing the scene from afar might conclude that tipped heads and elongated necks were the latest fashion arrived from the Continent.
“They ought to be looking at your gown,” Alexandra said. “That’s the true work of art in the room.”
Penny smoothed her gloved hands along the sheer silk netting that overlaid an underdress of ivory satin. The gauzy fabric was patterned with tiny pink roses connected by curling tendrils of green. The cap sleeves were fashioned from satin petals layered over creamy lace. A wide band of green velvet cinched her waist, and the daring neckline revealed the perfect amount of cleavage.
“Emma works miracles,” she said.
“The beauty is all in the wearer,” Emma said graciously.
“Let’s hope that undeserving man shows up to appreciate it,” Nicola grumbled.
Penny stood on her toes and scanned the growing crush of guests.
No sign of Gabriel. No sign of her brother yet, either.
Nicola shook her head. “I’ve been saying all along that he’s not good enough for you. What sort of person fails to appear at his own ball?”
“He’s here somewhere,” Emma said. “Most likely occupied with hosting duties. He’ll make an appearance before long.”
A wandering servant offered flutes of champagne. Penny, Nicola, and Emma accepted eagerly. Alexandra declined, in favor of food.
“A toast to the three of you.” Penny raised her glass. “You didn’t have to come, but I’m grateful you did. Especially you, Alex. You should be at home with your feet propped on a cushion.”
Alexandra balanced a plate of refreshments atop her immensely rounded belly. “We’d never abandon you to face this alone.” She nibbled at a sandwich. “Besides, the food alone is worth the effort of attending. You’ve improved on this recipe remarkably, Penny.”
“What do you mean? Which recipe?”
Alex held up a half-eaten finger sandwich. “The sham. It’s not bad.”
Nicola grimaced. “Surely that’s the pregnancy speaking.”
Alexandra offered a sample from her plate. “Taste for yourself.”
“I’ll try.” Emma took a sandwich and sank her teeth into it, then chewed with caution. As she swallowed, her eyebrows rose in surprise. “That‘s almost tasty. What did you change, Penny?”
“I didn’t change anything. Gabriel’s chef must have made it. I had nothing to do with the refreshments.”
“That’s odd,” Alex said. “I assumed you planned the entire menu. There’s not a scrap of meat to be found anywhere.”
“Truly? No meat whatsoever?”
“Not that I could find, and I did search.” She looked down at her swollen belly. “This baby is quite the carnivore. It’s all delicious, though. Onion tartlets, pastry puffs stuffed with cheese, a terrine of mushroom and hazelnuts. There’s a pharaoh-sized pyramid of exotic fruits. The pineapples alone must have cost a small fortune. And, of course, there’s the sham.”
“Oh, Penny. He must truly love you,” Emma said. “Ash and Chase ate the sham. Gabriel made more.”
Penny couldn’t believe it. He must have arranged the menu. Of course, he would have done so days ago, well before their argument today. Nevertheless, she was touched by the gesture. He truly had planned this evening for her, down to the last detail.
Just as Emma had worked tirelessly to create her gown, and Nicola and Alexandra were here to support her, despite the fact that they’d rather be anywhere else.
Yet here Penny was, tucked in a corner.
A wallflower, as always.
Tonight, she vowed, she would be different. She would leave the dancing to those who enjoyed it, but she would mingle, converse, make her rounds of the guests—if only to say that she had done it. Not for Gabriel, and not for Aunt Caroline. For herself.
Penny drew a deep breath and stepped away from the wall.
“Wait.” Nicola grabbed her by the arm, yanking her back. Her voice was frantic. “Don’t go.”
Penny turned to her friend. “Heavens, Nic. You’ve gone white as paper.”
“Are you ill?” Emma laid a hand to Nicola’s brow, testing for fever in motherly fashion. “Do you need to sit down?”
“You look as though you’ve seen a ghost,” Alex said.
“Worse than a ghost.” Nicola shielded her face with one hand and lowered her head. “I’ve seen a fiancé.”
“A fiancé?” Penny echoed. “Whose fiancé?”
She moaned faintly. “Mine, I think.”
What?
Nicola, engaged to be married? Penny exchanged quizzical glances with Emma and Alex. They each shook their heads, as if to say this was news to them, as well.
Penny turned to look about them. “Where? Who?”
“For God’s sake, don’t look!” Nicola arranged the three of them shoulder to shoulder, making a human fence and then ducking behind it. “I can’t let him see me. He’ll recognize me from the hair alone.”
The orchestra struck up the first strains of a quadrille. The dancing was about to begin.
“Come.” Emma put her arm about their flame-haired friend’s shoulders. “We’ll find a place away from the crowd. And then you must tell us everything.”
“Very well. But you have to conceal me until it’s safe.”
“There’s a servants’ door in the far corner of the ballroom,” Penny said. “The corridor behind it leads to the rear of the house. We can make our escape through there.”
The three of them shuffled sideways in an awkward, not-at-all-suspicious manner. Meanwhile Nicola crouched in their shadow, scurrying behind their human shield. Thank goodness everyone was more interested in pairing off for the quadrille than in watching a quartet of social misfits.
When they reached the corner, Penny prised open the hidden door, just a crack. “The three of you first. I’ll stand guard.” She turned to face the ballroom and smiled innocently, fluffing her skirts to make a wider shield. Behind her, the others filed through the door, one by one.
And then she glimpsed Gabriel through the crowd, standing at the opposite end of the ballroom. He was magnificent in his full evening dress. Black tailcoat layered over a snow-white vest and cravat. His cheeks looked so smooth, she imagined that might be the reason for his tardiness. He’d probably been upstairs shaving at the last minute. By midnight, he’d have a forest of whiskers again. Their eyes met.
“Penny,” Alexandra whispered. “Aren’t you coming?”
“Not just now,” she answered. “Go on without me.”
As the quadrille came to an end, the dancers dispersed. He began to walk toward her.
She’d always dreamed of this scene. What girl hadn’t? The dark, handsome man locking gazes with her across the crowded ballroom. Striding toward her, unwavering in his intent, drawn to her beauty, acting on an inexorable melding of desire and destiny.
It wouldn’t happen that way. Not tonight. She refused to stand there meekly while Gabriel Duke made his manly strides across the ballroom to claim her.
Penny was going to meet him halfway.
When she began to move toward him, Gabe cursed under his breath. This was a wrinkle in his plans. She was beautiful beyond words. Beyond his words, at any rate. And he’d counted on having a long, slow saunter across the floor to search his brain for a compliment that would be remotely sufficient.
Instead, she was going to intercept him before he had any chance.
When they met in the center of the ballroom, he was speechless.
She broke the silence. “I want to say something witty or cutting. One of those worldly remarks that brings a man to his knees. But I can’t think of anything, so … The ball is lovely. You look quite handsome.”
“And here I was just cursing myself for my complete inability to describe how beautiful you look. You deserve a sonnet. An ode? I don’t even know the difference between the two. Next time, I’ll hire a poet.”
She smiled and shrugged. “We are who we are.”
“We are who we are.”
God, he loved who she was. But what was more, he loved who they were together. He couldn’t lose that.
“I don’t want to take you away from the party,” he said. “I just had a brief question to ask you.”
“I have a question for you, too.”
“You go first,” he said.
“No, you go first.”
“I insist.”
“I insist more.”
“Fine,” he said. “Will you marry me?”
She stared at him. “This was your brief question? This.”
“It’s four words on my part. Your answer only requires one. That’s the definition of brief.”
“Is it?”
He reached for her hands. “I know it’s not a romantic proposal, but I wanted to ask before your brother arrives. I need you to know that your answer is the only one that matters. The things I said to you were unforgivable. That contract was a horrid, thoughtless mistake. You were right to shred it to bits, and I’ve made certain my solicitor’s copy was torn to pieces, too. The thing of it is, I was afraid. I’m afraid no one will believe you married me for love, because I find it so difficult to believe it myself. It seems impossible that you could love me. But then it once seemed impossible that I could love anyone, and now I love you with a ferocity I can’t describe. Not because I need a poet, but because I don’t want to frighten you away. You’re the kindest soul I’ll ever meet, and we’re astounding together in bed. I don’t think I could live without you. Well, I don’t know. Perhaps I could. In the past, I learned to survive without a great many things. But I don’t want to live without you. I realize you might not forgive me yet for being a shameless, presumptuous prick, but—”
“Yes,” she interrupted. “The answer is yes. Adorable as it is to watch you nervously rattling on, if you want my answer before my brother arrives, we don’t have all evening. So yes.”
“Thank God.” He closed his eyes and exhaled gruffly. “Damn it. I left the ring in the safe.”
She laughed. “Best proposal in the world.”
“So what was your question?” he asked.
“I’d almost forgotten. I was going to ask if you’d care to dance. With me.”
“Penny.” His heart clenched like a fist. “You don’t have to do that.”
“I know I don’t have to. I want to, so long as it’s with you. Everything is different with you.” She licked her lips, anxious. “They’re playing a waltz. The waltz wasn’t in England yet when I … when I first learned to dance. It would be entirely new for me.”
He brought both her hands to his lips and kissed them. “I’m so honored. And I wish like hell that I knew how. Neither of us would know what we’re doing, I’m afraid.”
“It couldn’t possibly be a more alarming scene than my last attempt at dancing in public.”
He supposed that was true.
“Even if it is a disaster, what’s the worst that could happen? No one will invite us to another ball for a decade. What a shame that would be.”
“In that case …” He waved his arm in the direction of the dancing. “After you.”
To Gabe, the waltz seemed to be nothing but a great deal of mincing, turning, and mincing while turning. He felt like a clumsy ass, but he did his best for Penny’s sake. For the remainder of his life, he’d do his best for Penny’s sake.
She stopped in the middle of a mincing turn. The music continued, and the dancing went on, but Penny was frozen in place, staring at something over his shoulder.
“Penny?”
Her gaze held emotions he’d never seen in her before. Emotions he wouldn’t have even believed to be in her character. Fear. Fury. Hatred.
And Gabe knew—he just knew, in his soul—there could be only one reason for it.
She pasted a false smile on her face and threaded her arm through his, turning him to face a pair of men. The younger of the two looked to be about the same age as Gabe, but he had Penny’s light hair and blue eyes.
This one must be Bradford.
The other man was older, though not old. He had brown hair gone gray at the temples, and an insidiously average-looking face.
This one must be the Devil.
“There you are, Penelope,” her brother said. “We’ve been looking for you.” He settled cold, suspicious eyes on Gabe. “Introduce us to your friend?”
“Bradford, this is Mr. Gabriel Duke. Gabriel, this is my brother Bradford. And this is Mr. Lambert. He’s Bradford’s father-in-law.”
