Kitabı oku: «A Fair Jewess», sayfa 11
CHAPTER XX.
A MOMENTOUS NIGHT
Each day, each hour, Aaron became more anxious and troubled. In the doctor's plain speaking there was no reading between the lines, and no possible mistaking of his meaning. Aaron saw clearly what was before him, but he could not see a way out of his difficulties, nor to doing what he was told it was imperative upon him that he should do, in the happy event of Rachel's coming safely through her present crisis. There was no apparent change in her; she lay weak and powerless in her bed, receiving Aaron always with sweet and patient words, and nursing her child as well as her feeble state would allow her. The condition of the babe pained and troubled him. There was no indication of suffering, no querulousness in the child; it was simply that she lay supine, as though life were flowing quietly out of her. Every time Aaron crept up to the bedside and found the babe asleep he leaned anxiously over her to catch the sound of her breathing; and so faint and soft was her respiration that again and again he was smitten with a fear that she had passed away. Acutely sensitive and sensible now of every sign in his wife, it became with him an absolute conviction that the doctor spoke the truth when he declared that her life and the life of her babe were inseparable-that if one lived the other would live, that if one died the other would die. During this torturing time strange thoughts oppressed him, and oppressed him more powerfully because he scarcely understood them. The tenor of these thoughts resolved itself into the one burning desire to do something to keep his wife with him even if she should lose her babe, but toward the accomplishment of this he felt that he could do nothing. He was but an instrument; if he were to be successful in steering his beloved to a haven of peace and health it must be through outside influences which up to the present were not visible to him. "Show me the way, oh, gracious Lord, show me the way!" This was his constant prayer, and although in less agitated times he would have blamed himself for praying for a seeming impossibility, he encouraged himself in it now, in the dim and despairing hope that some miracle would occur to further his agonizing desire.
Meanwhile his funds had run completely out, and with spiritual sight he saw the wolf approaching the door. He had not the means to pay for the necessaries of the next twenty-four hours. Then it was that he resolved to make his appeal to Mr. Moss. He would tell him everything, he would reveal his hapless position in the plainest terms, and he would beg for an immediate temporary loan of money which he would promise to faithfully repay when the cloud was lifted from his house.
It was evening, a cold and bitter evening. The snow had been falling heavily, a fierce wind was raging. He thought of Rachel, homeless and hungry, and his heart was torn with woe. It seemed as if her life depended upon him; he was her shield; could he not keep desolation and despair from her-could he not keep death from her? He did not know that the angel was already in his house.
The doctor had paid a visit earlier in the day, and had spoken even more gravely of Rachel.
"Much depends," he said, "upon the next day or two. For some days past she has been silently suffering, and I have succeeded in piercing the veil of sorrow which hangs upon her soul. She fears that her child will not live, and if unhappily her fears are confirmed-"
He did not finish the sentence; there was no need for further words to convey his meaning.
"This harrowing thought," he continued, "keeps her from rest, prevents her sleeping. There are periods of sickness when sleep means life; I will send round a sleeping draught, which you will give her at eight o'clock to-night; it will insure her oblivion for a good twelve hours, and if when she wakes all is well with the child all will be well with her."
"Can you tell me, doctor, why this fear has grown stronger within her these last few days?"
"The babe lies quietly in her arms; she does not hear its voice, and only by its soft breathing can she convince herself that it lives. Tender accents from the child she has brought into the world would fall as a blessing upon her sorrowing heart. At any moment the child may find its voice; let us hope that it will very soon."
The sleeping draught was sent to Aaron, and it was now on the table. The hour was six; in a couple of hours he would give it to her; and while he waited he sat down to write his letter to Mr. Moss. It was a long letter, for he had much to say, and he was but halfway through when a postman's knock summoned him to the street door. He hurried there quickly, so that the knock should not be repeated, and to his surprise received a telegram. It was from Mr. Moss, and it informed him that that gentleman was coming to see him upon a very important matter, and that he was to be sure not to leave home that night. Aaron wondered what this important matter could be, and there was a joyful feeling in his heart that the telegram might be the presage of good fortune; he knew enough of Mr. Moss' kindly nature to be convinced that he would not be the herald of bad news.
"There is a rift in the clouds," he murmured as he pondered over the message; "I see the light, I see the light!"
Would Mr. Moss' errand open up the means of giving Rachel the benefit of soft air and sunshine in a more genial clime? He prayed that it might, and he had never prayed more fervently. But the night was inclement, and Mr. Moss might not be able in consequence to pay the promised visit. Time pressed; the necessity was imminent, and would brook no delay; therefore he determined to finish his letter, and to post it this night in the event of Mr. Moss not making his appearance.
It wanted a few minutes to eight when his task was completed. He read the letter over and addressed an envelope, but did not stamp it; he had but one stamp, and every penny was of importance. He looked at the clock; eight o'clock. With gentle steps he went up to Rachel.
"It is time for the draught, my love," he said.
"I will take it, dear."
He poured it into a glass, and she drank it reclining in his arms.
"If our dear one lives, Aaron," said Rachel, "we will call her Ruth, after your mother."
"It shall be so, love," answered Aaron, laying her head upon the pillow. "God will vouchsafe the mercy to us. She will live, Rachel, she will live." Desirous that she should not talk now that she had taken the sleeping draught he kissed her tenderly and would have left her, but she held him by the hand.
"Has the doctor told you that I am in sorrow, Aaron?"
"You have the gift of divinity, love. Yes, he has told me, and he said that to-morrow perhaps, please God, you will hear our darling's voice."
"Did he say so? Heaven bless him. She is sleeping?"
"Yes, beloved."
"I pray that the good doctor may be right. I shall dream of it.
To-morrow-perhaps to-morrow! Ah, what happiness! It needs but that, dear husband, it needs but that! How tired you must be with all that you are doing for me! Kiss me again. God guard you."
And so she fell asleep.
The small fire in the room required attention, and Aaron arranged each piece of coal and cinder with scrupulous care; never had there been so much need for thrift as now. In all his movements there was not the least sound; so softly did he step that his feet might have been shod with velvet pile. One of Rachel's arms was lying exposed on the counterpane, he gently shifted it beneath the warm coverings; then he quitted the apartment and closed the door upon his wife and child-and upon the angel of death, who was standing by the bedside to receive a departing soul.
Aaron did not return to his room below; he stood by the open street door, looking anxiously up and down for Mr. Moss, and thinking with sadness that if that gentleman delayed his visit he would be compelled in the morning to part for a time with his silver-mounted pipe, which was the only article of any value that was left to him. Of all his personal belongings he cherished this pipe the most; it was Rachel's gift, and she had often filled it for him. It was not between his lips at the present moment; he had no heart to smoke. For nearly an hour he stood upon the watch, interrupting it only for the purpose of creeping upstairs to see if Rachel were still sleeping. At nine o'clock Mr. Moss made his welcome appearance in the street; even as he turned the corner at a distance of many yards Aaron recognized him. He was enveloped in his great fur coat, which was pulled up close to his ears; a lighted cigar was between his lips, and he was humming an operatic air as he puffed at it.
"Why, Cohen," said Mr. Moss in a hearty tone, "what are you standing at the door for on such a cold night?"
"I have been expecting you," Aaron answered, "and I did not wish you to knock. Rachel has taken a sleeping draught, and must not be disturbed."
"Yes, yes, I understand," said Mr. Moss, accompanying his friend into the house. "How is she?"
"Not well, not at all well, I am grieved to say. Mr. Moss, my heart is almost broken." He turned aside with a little sob.
"No, no, no!" exclaimed Mr. Moss. "That will never do, Cohen. Look on the best side. Things will right themselves; they will, mark my words. I am here to set them right. What is this? An envelope addressed to me?"
"I was writing you a letter when your telegram arrived."
"And then you did not stop to finish it?"
"I did finish it, Mr. Moss, in case you did not come."
"May I read it?"
"Yes; it will explain matters; you will learn from it what it would pain me to tell you in any other way."
"Smoke a cigar while I read."
Aaron took the cigar and laid it aside, and then Mr. Moss, who had taken off his thick coat, sat down and perused the letter.
"I have come in the nick of time, Cohen," he said-"in the nick of time. There is a silver lining to every cloud. I have brought it with me."
"I felt," said Aaron, his hopes rising, "that you could not be the bearer of bad news."
"Not likely, friend Cohen-not likely. I am the bearer of good news, of the best of news. Don't be led away; it isn't a legacy-no, no, it isn't a legacy, but something almost as good, and I hope you will not throw away the chance."
"If it is anything that will relieve me from my terrible embarrassments it is not likely that I shall throw it away."
"It will do that for a certainty, and there is money attaching to it which I have in my pocket, and which you can have this very night."
"How can I thank you-how can I thank you?"
"Don't try to, and don't be surprised at what you hear. It is a strange piece of business, and I should have refused to undertake it if I had not said to myself, 'This will suit my friend Cohen; it will lift him out of his trouble.' But, upon my word, now that I'm here I don't know how to commence. I never met with anything like it in all my life, and if you were well off you would be the last man in the world I should have dreamed of coming to. But you are not well off, Cohen; you have lost everything; Rachel is ill, and the doctor says she must be taken out of this cold and dismal climate to a place where she can see the sun, and where the air is mild and warm. I dare say you're thinking, 'Moss is speaking in a strange way'; and so I am; but it's nothing to what I've got to tell you. Cohen, what will happen if you can't afford to do as the doctor advises you?"
"Do not ask me," groaned Aaron. "I dare not think of it-I dare not, I dare not!"
"I don't say it unkindly, Cohen, but it seems to be a matter of life and death." Aaron clasped his forehead. "Very well, then; and don't forget that it is in your own hands. Before I commence I must say a word about myself. I can't do all you ask me in this letter; as I'm a living man I should be glad to assist you, but I have entered into a large speculation which has taken all my spare cash, and the most I could afford would be eight or ten pounds. How long would that last you? In two or three weeks it would be gone, and you would be no better off than you were before; and as to taking Rachel to the south of France, that would be quite out of the question."
"But you held out hope to me," said the trembling Aaron; "you said you were the bearer of good news."
"I said what is true, Cohen, but it is not my money that I have to deal with. I have brought fifty pounds with me, another man's money, intrusted to me for special purposes, and which you can have at once if you will undertake a certain task and accept a certain responsibility. It is only out of my friendship for you; it is only because I know you to be so badly off that you hardly know which way to turn; it is only because Rachel is ill, and requires what you can't afford to pay for, that it entered my mind to offer you the chance."
"Fifty pounds would be the saving of me, Mr. Moss," said Aaron in an agony of suspense. "It would restore my Rachel to health, it would bring happiness into my life. Surely Heaven has directed you to come to my assistance."
"You shall judge for yourself. Listen patiently to what I am going to tell you; it will startle you, but don't decide hastily or rashly. And bear in mind that what passes between us is not to be disclosed to another person on earth."
CHAPTER XXI.
THE TEMPTATION
Mr. Moss then proceeded to unfold the nature of the mission he had undertaken for Mr. Gordon, with the particulars of which the reader has been made acquainted through the earlier chapters of this story. Aaron listened with attention and surprise, with attention because of his anxiety to ascertain whether the proposal was likely to extricate him from his cruel position, with surprise because the wildest stretch of his imagination would not have enabled him to guess the purport of the singular disclosure. When Mr. Moss ceased speaking the afflicted man rose and paced the room in distress and disappointment.
"I told you I should startle you," said Mr. Moss with a shrewd observance of his friend's demeanor, and for the good of that friend preparing for a battle. "What do you say to it?"
"It is impossible-impossible!" muttered Aaron.
"I told you also," continued Mr. Moss calmly, "not to decide hastily or rashly. In the way of ordinary business I should not, as I have said, have dreamed of coming to you, and I should not have undertaken the mission. But the position in which you are placed is not ordinary, and you are bound to consider the matter, not upon its merits alone, but in relation to your circumstances. I need not say that I shall make nothing out of it myself."
"Indeed, you need not," said Aaron, pressing Mr. Moss' hand. "Pure friendship has brought you here-I know, I know; but surely you must see that it is impossible for me to undertake the responsibility."
"I see nothing of the kind. Honestly and truly, Cohen, I look upon it as a windfall, and if you turn your back upon it you will repent it all your life. What is it I urge you to do? A crime?"
"No, no, I do not say that. Heaven forbid!"
"You are naturally startled and agitated. Cohen, you are a man of intelligence and discernment. My wife has often said, 'If Mr. Cohen was a rich man he would be one of the heads of our people.' She is right; she always is. But there are times when a man cannot exercise his judgment, when he is so upset that his mind gets off the balance. It has happened to me, and I have said afterward, 'Moss, you are a fool'; it happens to all of us. Let me put the matter clearly before you. Have you ever been in such trouble as you are in now?"
"Never in my life."
"Misfortune after misfortune has fallen upon you. All your money is gone; everything is gone; you can't get through this week without assistance. You have tried all your friends, and they cannot help you; you have tried me, and I can only offer you what will meet the necessities of the next few days. It is known that you are badly off, and you cannot get credit; if you could it would cut you to the soul, because you know you would be owing people money that there was no expectation of your being able to pay. You would be ashamed to look people in the face; you would lose your sense of self-respect, and every fresh step you took would be a step down instead of up. Poor Rachel is lying sick almost to death; she has a stronger claim than ever upon your love, upon your wisdom. The doctor has told you what she requires, and of the possible consequences if you are unable to carry out his directions. Cohen, not one of these things must be lost sight of in the answer you give to what I propose."
Great beads of perspiration were on Aaron's forehead as he murmured, "I do not lose sight of them. They are like daggers in my heart."
"Strangely and unexpectedly," pursued Mr. Moss, "a chance offers itself that will extricate you out of all your difficulties. You will not only receive immediately a large sum of money, but you will be in receipt of a hundred a year, sufficient to keep your family in a moderate way. What are you asked to do in return for this good fortune? To take care of an innocent child who has no one to look after her, who will never be claimed, and about whom you will never be troubled. You can engage a servant to attend to her, and when you explain everything to Rachel she will approve of what you have done. Before I came to you I consulted a gentleman-Dr. Spenlove-who has a kind heart and correct principles, and agreed with me that the transaction was perfectly honorable. I have no doubt of it myself, or I should not be here. Be persuaded, Cohen; it will be a benevolent as well as a wise act, and all your difficulties will be at an end. What is it Shakspere says? 'There is a tide in the affairs of men which, taken at the flood,'-you know the rest. Why, there are thousands who would jump at the opportunity. Come, now, for Rachel's sake?" Mr. Moss was genuinely sincere in his advice, and he spoke with earnestness and feeling.
"The child is a girl, Mr. Moss?"
"A dear little girl, of the same age as your own."
"Hush! You forget. This little stranger is born of Christian parents."
"That is no crime, Cohen."
"Do I say it is? But we are Jews. The stipulation is that she should be brought up as one of our family, and indeed it could scarcely be otherwise. She would live her life in a Jewish household. It is that I am thinking of Mr. Moss, I am at war with my conscience."
"She will be none the worse off for living with you and Rachel. Your character is well known, and Rachel is the soul of kindness. You would be committing no sin, Cohen."
"I am not so sure."
"Then who is to know? You and Rachel are alone, and when she is able to be moved you will take her for a time to another place. You need not return here. Rachel's health restored, you should go to London or Liverpool or Manchester, where your talents would have a larger field. I always thought it wrong for you to bury yourself in so small a town as this. There is no scope for you in it; you would never make your fortune here."
"If I go from this place I shall not return to it. You ask who is to know, Mr. Moss. God would know; Rachel and I would know. How can I reconcile it with my conscience to bring up a child in a faith in which she is not born? It would weigh heavily upon me."
"That is because your views are so strict. I do not see why it should weigh heavily upon you. If it were a boy I should not press it upon you; but girls are different. There is very little for them to learn. To pray-there is only one God. To be good and virtuous-there is only one code of morality. You know that well enough."
"I do know it, but still I cannot reconcile it with my conscience."
"In your position," continued Mr. Moss, perceiving that Aaron was wavering, "I should not hesitate; I should thank God that such a chance fell in my way. Even as it is, if I did not have eleven children, and expecting the twelfth, I would take this lamb into my fold-I would, indeed, Cohen. But my hands are full. Cohen, let me imagine a case. It is a cold and bitter night, and the world is filled with poor struggling creatures, with little children who are being brought up the wrong way. Rachel is asleep upstairs. You are here alone. Suddenly you hear a cry in the street, the cry of a babe. You go to the door, and upon the step you see an infant lying, unsheltered, without a protector. What would you do?"
"I should bring it into my house."
"With pity in your heart, Cohen."
"I hope so. With pity in my heart."
"Poor as you are, you would share what you have with the deserted babe; you would nourish it, you would cherish it. You would say to Rachel, 'I heard a cry outside the house on this bitter night, and upon the doorstep I discovered this poor babe; I brought it in, and gave it shelter.' What would Rachel answer?"
"She is a tender-hearted woman; she would answer that I did what was right."
"Look upon it in that light, and I will continue the case. In the child's clothes you find a fifty-pound note, and a letter, unsigned, to the effect that the little one has no protector, is alone in the world, and beseeching you to take charge of it and save it from destitution and degradation. No scruples as to the child being a Christian would disturb you then; you would act as humanity dictated. In the case I have imagined you would not be at war with your conscience; why should you be at war with it now?"
"Still I must reflect; and I have a question or two to ask. The name of the mother?"
"Not to be divulged."
"The name of the father?"
"The same answer. Indeed, I do not know it myself."
"Where is the child?"
"At the Salutation Hotel, in the charge of a woman I brought with me."
"My decision must be made to-night?"
"To-night."
"Supposing it to be in the affirmative, what position do you occupy in the matter in the future?"
"None whatever. The task undertook executed, I retire, and have nothing further to do with it. Anything you choose to communicate with me would be entirely at your discretion. Voluntarily I should never make reference to it."
"What has passed between us, you informed me, is not to be disclosed to any other person?"
"To no other person whatever."
"Am I to understand that it has been disclosed to no other?"
"You are. Only Dr. Spenlove and the gentleman who intrusted me with the commission have any knowledge of it."
"How about the woman who is now taking care of the child at the Salutation Hotel?"
"She is in entire ignorance of the whole proceeding."
"Is she not aware that you have come to my house?"
"She is not. In the event of your deciding to undertake the charge I myself will bring the child here."
"Is the mother to be made acquainted with my name?"
"It is an express stipulation that she is to be kept in ignorance of it."
"And to this she consented willingly?"
"Willingly, for her child's good and her own."
"Is Dr. Spenlove to be made acquainted with it?"
"He is not."
"And the gentleman whose commission you are executing?"
"Neither is he to know. It is his own wish."
"The liberal allowance for the rearing of the child: by whom will it be paid?"
"By a firm of eminent London lawyers whose name and address I will give you, and to whom I shall communicate by telegram to-night. All the future business will be solely between you and them without interference from any living being."
"Mr. Moss, I thank you; you have performed the office of a friend."
"It was my desire, Cohen. Then you consent?"
"No. I must have time for reflection. In an hour from now you shall have my answer."
"Don't throw away the chance," said Mr. Moss very earnestly. "Remember, it is for Rachel's sake."
"I will remember it; but I must commune with myself. If before one hour has passed you do not see me at the Salutation Hotel you will understand that I refuse."
"What will you do then, Cohen? How will you manage?"
"God knows. Perhaps he will direct me."
Mr. Moss considered a moment, then took ten five pound banknotes from his pocket, and laid them on the table.
"I will leave this money with you," he said.
"No, no!" cried Aaron.
"Why not? It will do no harm. You are to be trusted, Cohen. In case you refuse I will take it back. If you do not come for me I will come for you, so I will not wish you good-night. Don't trouble to come to the door; I can find my way out."
Aaron was alone, fully conscious that this hour was, perhaps, the most momentous in his life. The money was before him, and he could not keep his eyes from it. It meant so much! It seemed to speak to him, to say, "Life or death to your beloved wife. Reject me, and you know what will follow." All his efforts to bring himself to a calm reflection of the position were unavailing. He could not reason, he could not argue with himself. The question to be answered was not whether it would be right to take a child born of Christian parents into his house, to bring her up as one of a Jewish family, but whether his dear wife was to live or die. And he was the judge, and if he bade his friend take the money back he would be the executioner. Of what value then would life be to him? Devout and full of faith as he was, he still, in this dread crisis, was of the earth earthy. His heart was torn with love's agony.
The means of redemption were within his reach. Why should he not avail himself of them?
Rachel enjoyed life for the pleasure it gave her; stricken with blindness as she was, he knew that she would still enjoy it, and that she would shed comfort and happiness upon all who came in contact with her. Was it for him to snap the cord, to say, "You shall no longer enjoy; you shall no longer bestow happiness upon others; you shall no longer live to lighten the trouble of many suffering mortals, to shed light and sweetness in many homes"? Was this the way to prove his love for her? No, he would not shut the door of earthly salvation which had been so providentially opened to him; he would not pronounce a sentence of death against the dear woman he had sworn to love and cherish.
Aaron was not aware that in the view he was taking he was calling to his aid only these personal and sympathetic affections which bound him and Rachel together and that out of a common, human selfishness he was thrusting from the scale the purely moral and religious obligations which usually played so large a part in his conduct of life. In this dark hour love was supreme and held him in its thrall; in this dark hour he was intensely and completely human; in this dark hour the soft breathing of a feeble woman was more potent than the sound of angels' trumpets from the Throne of Grace, the sight of a white, worn face more powerful than that of a flaming sword of justice in the skies.
He had arrived at a decision; he would receive the child of strangers into his home.
Before going to the Salutation Hotel to make the announcement to Mr. Moss he would see that his wife was sleeping, and not likely to awake during his brief absence from the house. The doctor had assured him that she would sleep for twelve hours, and he had full confidence in the assurance; but he must look upon her face once more before he left her even for a few minutes.
He stood at her bedside; she was sleeping peacefully and soundly; her countenance was now calm and untroubled, and Aaron believed that he saw in it an indication of returning health. Certainly the rest she was enjoying was doing her good. He stooped and kissed her, and she did not stir; her sweet breath fanned his cheeks. Then he turned his eyes upon his child. And as he gazed upon the infant in its white dress a terror for which there is no name stole into his heart. Why was the babe so still and white? Like a marble statue she lay, bereft of life and motion. He put his ear to her lips-not a breath escaped them; he laid his hand upon her heart-not the faintest flutter of a pulse was there. With feverish haste he lifted the little hand, the head, the body, and for all the response he received he might have been handling an image of stone. Gradually the truth forced itself upon him. The young soul had gone to its Maker. His child was dead!
