Kitabı oku: «A Very Single Midwife»

A Very Single Midwife

Fiona McArthur

www.millsandboon.co.uk

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CONTENTS

Cover

Dear Reader

Title Page

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER SIX

CHAPTER SEVEN

CHAPTER EIGHT

CHAPTER NINE

CHAPTER TEN

CHAPTER ELEVEN

CHAPTER TWELVE

Copyright

CHAPTER ONE

Friday

THE birthing suite was quiet as Bella Wilson refilled the cup for Abbey to scoop ice chips as she needed.

Bella glanced across at her brother-in-law, Rohan, as he gently stroked his wife’s back. Arched protectively around her on a low chair, his legs were either side of Abbey’s thighs as she perched upright on the big blue ball. She rocked and moaned softly with the strength of the contractions and Rohan winced in sympathy with the sound.

Her sister’s time was near. ‘I’ll ring Scott,’ Bella whispered, and Rohan nodded. Nobody else seemed to notice the tremor in Bella’s voice as she said it.

Although a very experienced midwife, Bella had chosen to be an onlooker at the time of birth rather than the person responsible for the safe arrival of the new Roberts baby. She wanted to see Abbey’s face, and Rohan’s, as her niece or nephew was born. She wanted to be a part of the whole experience and not just the mechanics of the birth. Scott should be the acchouchier.

Bella couldn’t think of anyone she trusted more than Scott Rainford, Gladstone Hospital’s Director of Obstetrics, to bring a baby into the world. Despite the fact there was still awkwardness between them, at least on Bella’s side.

When she returned from the phone, Abbey’s moans were a little louder and Bella went across to lay her hand on her sister’s shoulder. ‘It’s OK, you’re doing beautifully, nearly there.’

Abbey opened her eyes and stared at Bella as if to ground herself.

‘I think I want to push.’

Bella nodded. ‘Do what your body tells you to do.’ Both women, as midwives, smiled at the litany and then Abbey’s eyes widened as the feeling became stronger.

Rohan sat up straighter as he felt his wife tense with the change in sensation. ‘You OK, sweetheart?’

Abbey nodded and Rohan rested his hands on her shoulders as if to transfer energy from his body into hers as she began second stage. ‘I love you, Abbey,’ he said, and kissed her shoulder.

Bella turned away. The strength of the bond between Abbey and Rohan brought tears to her eyes. She’d thought she had her chance at being a part of someone like that once, but now she believed that type of relationship wasn’t for her. She could be strong on her own.

She heard the door open and there he was. The man who had once held her heart in his hands and let it go. Bella forced herself to meet Scott’s eyes and their glances clashed before she turned back to Abbey.

The next contraction would be here soon and the birth was very close. She switched off all thoughts of Scott. ‘Do you want the birth stool or are you going to move to the bed at the last minute, Abbey?’ Bella hovered to help her sister when she’d made her choice.

‘I’ll sit on the bed, so I don’t have to move afterwards.’

Bella nodded as she strained to hear Abbey’s answer and lifted the beanbag onto the bed in readiness.

After the next pain, Abbey stood up and Bella and Rohan helped her onto the bed until she was sitting upright with her hands behind her knees. The next pain came swiftly and the baby’s thatch of dark hair hovered at the entrance to the outside world before disappearing again.

‘The baby took a look and went back,’ Scott whispered, and they all smiled, though Abbey’s smile was tired.

‘I don’t know how many times I’ve heard you say that over the years…’ Her voice strengthened. ‘Just didn’t think I’d ever hear you say it to me.’

‘One more push, Abbey.’ Scott had always felt enormous admiration for the woman who had been midwife in charge until today, but during this labour Abbey had been inspiring with her belief in natural birth and her quiet acceptance of what her body required her to do.

‘Here comes your baby,’ Scott said quietly, and his heart constricted as the newborn eased into his hands as if the infant had finally decided it was time to arrive. Scott glanced at the clock as he gently lifted Abbey’s baby up onto her stomach. ‘Ten past three born. Wonderful, Abbey.’

A birth never failed to uplift him but when he looked at Bella and the joy in her face from this moment, it was as if the dam broke and his own loss overwhelmed him. He acknowledged the two things he’d most wished for in life would never be his. The woman he loved and the son he’d never met.

Scott heard Rohan let out a heartfelt sigh of relief that echoed around the room and it snapped him back into focus. As his medical partner and friend, Rohan had delivered hundreds of babies himself, but Scott could see that none had drained his friend like this.

‘We have a son, Abbey.’ Rohan’s voice was thick with tears. His fingers stroked Abbey’s cheek as if he still couldn’t believe he’d been so blessed, and Abbey smiled up with a love and maternal joy that, despite its intimacy, shone to the darkest corners of the room.

Excluded, Scott had to look away as she decreed, ‘We’ll call him Lachlan.’

Bella smiled at the name Abbey had always fancied. There was something about that private glance shared between husband and wife that made Bella look at Scott, and for once the usually enigmatic Dr Rainford couldn’t hide his bleakness.

Bella’s heart squeezed at the look of raw pain in Scott’s face, but then it was gone. He leaned forward to congratulate the parents and Bella was left with unanswered questions.

Questions for later, Bella thought as she kissed her sister, brother-in-law and precious dark-haired nephew, and returned to what she should be doing as the new midwife in charge. Euphoria at the safe arrival of Lachlan lightened her step as she bustled around and cleared the room of unneeded equipment. Abbey and Rohan deserved private time to share those precious early moments with their son and she would make sure it happened.

A fragment of her concentration tussled with possible reasons for Scott’s depression as she pushed the green-draped trolley into the sluice room. Then she heard the sound of the doctor’s footsteps as he followed her out of the delivery suite, and her fingers stilled.

‘So you’re the new unit manager now that Abbey has given birth earlier than anticipated?’ Scott acknowledged the change in management but he didn’t like it. He hadn’t thought it through when he’d been told that Abbey’s just-as-well-qualified sister would replace his midwife colleague during her maternity leave.

This last month he’d erected a wall between himself and Bella but now she was going to be in his face a lot more than he’d realised. Scott couldn’t prevent the mocking note in his voice that he’d found was his only defence against this woman.

She turned to stare at him and shrugged delicately, and Scott could see the last glimmer of happy tears in her glorious lilac eyes. His heart contracted.

After yesterday’s discovery of his full-grown son, today’s birth was even more poignant. Perhaps if he hadn’t pushed Bella away all those years ago he too would have had the opportunity to watch a son grow to a man. But having been proved a bad husband once, he’d chosen to let the young Bella go.

Bella had been eighteen and a virgin, to his thirty and divorced, and he’d felt a hundred. Freshly qualified in obstetrics, and new to town, he’d been so much under her spell he’d had to take drastic steps to protect her. He’d grown to love and respect Bella too much to risk her suffering the same pain he’d endured by marrying someone so much older than himself.

And today, to see Rohan and Abbey with everything that he desired, their happiness made the bleakness inside him crystallise into shards of pain that hardened on the outside. He felt old, which was the reason he’d never pursued the vibrant and beautiful Bella in the first place. Bella in his life, even a small amount, was a concept he needed to think about, something he couldn’t do when faced with her.

She’d be hard to avoid now.

Bella’s voice brought him back to the present and he’d missed the first part of her sentence.

‘It was only a matter of days before Abbey was going on maternity leave anyway,’ Bella said. ‘Do you have a problem with me as Unit Manager, Scott?’

Her voice had always been gentle but lately he realised there was an underlying vein of inner strength that he’d never associated with Bella. He looked at her, slim and straight, and the top of her flame-red bun only came up to his throat—right where her presence caught him. He swallowed to clear away the tightness.

He’d no idea how he was going to cope seeing her every week day on the ward when all he wanted to do was carry her off to his house and lock her away from the big bad world that had tried to crush her.

Today’s feelings, along with the hurt of realising his ex-wife had kept his son from him all these years, promised some painful hours of reflection in the coming weeks.

Too easily, he fell into his old defence mechanism of superiority until he could sort out this new relationship he’d have to deal with. ‘I think you’ve taken on too much this time, Bella,’ he said. ‘Five days a week running the clinical and administrative side of the ward is different to working part time as the floating midwife.’

‘Abbey managed it!’ Bella sounded less confident than she should have but her older sister had always seemed to take responsibility in her stride.

‘Abbey’s an experienced manager,’ he said, and made his escape before the emotion on her face and the emotions of the afternoon made him say something else he’d regret.

Bella stared after him and bit her lip. The man was insufferable, always had been, and she didn’t know how Abbey had put up with him all these years.

Scott had been giving her, Bella, a difficult time since she’d started part-time orientation on the ward the previous month but it had never been as blatant as today. He’d almost vibrated with some inner rage and Bella hoped she was out of range when the eruption occurred.

He must be at least forty-two now, she supposed, though he looked much younger and as annoyingly handsome as he’d always been. Bella winced at the memory of the teenage infatuation she’d had for the gorgeous young doctor and, more painfully, his disclosure of her crush to Abbey after their mother had died. Even now, when she saw him, he flustered her just being there.

She really had been useless at love. There had been Scott, when she’d been eighteen. He’d seemed to return her feelings for an idyllic few months until she’d been mortified by his sudden change of heart.

Nursing had carried her through that rejection until she’d completed her midwifery.

Then she’d been pursued and won by the obstetrician she’d worked with in the birthing centre in Sydney. After three years of vague promises by Jason, he’d eventually admitted he’d been unfaithful from the start of their relationship and she’d run home. She certainly could pick them.

Finally, last year, she’d been drugged and the victim of a loathsome sexual attack by a vengeful old flame of Abbey’s, which had almost destroyed the last vestiges of her self-worth. She’d wished the drug he’d slipped her had erased her memory of the attack and not just the strength to fight him off. That attack had been hard to come to terms with but out of the ashes of that experience had come her rebirth.

Somehow she’d conquered her fear and helped extricate them all when her attacker had returned to destroy Abbey. Dropping a plant pot on someone’s head from upstairs didn’t make Bella a heroine but it had had the desired effect! When the police had taken the man, Harrows, away, she’d felt the balance of power swing back her way.

She’d felt cleansed of the irrational but sapping guilt the attack had left her with. Instead of the usual scenario of big sister Abbey saving Bella—something Abbey had always done—Bella had saved Abbey! There was salvation in that thought and Bella had used it to drive herself to a new life.

She’d never be the champion her sister was, but she was learning to hold her own. And she would refuse to rely on a man for her happiness. So what Scott Rainford thought of her shouldn’t matter.

Bella kicked a linen bag and the automatic kickboxing hand posture that went with the kick made her laugh at herself. Her year of self-defence classes had turned out to be an absorbing challenge. She’d achieved many things in the last twelve months and Scott Rainford was not going to undermine her success with his bitterness.

She used that thought to insulate herself against the pricking pain she shouldn’t be feeling from mere words. Furiously she cleaned the instruments and wiped the trolley down. He had no idea what she was capable of.

When Bella unlocked her front door it seemed a year since she’d left the house that morning. As she put down her bag, she realised that with all the excitement of Lachlan’s arrival she’d forgotten she had to drive the youth bus tonight.

She stifled a sigh and hung her house keys on the hallstand. The chortling sound of a baby’s laugh made her smile as she wandered into the kitchen.

‘Your meal is on the stove, Bella.’ Vivie, Bella’s nineteen-year-old housekeeper, looked up from the last spoonful of vegetables she was trying to coax into her son’s mouth. She grinned at Bella’s appreciate sniff. ‘I made your favourite. Pumpkin and macadamia soup. And congratulations on being an auntie.’

Bella ruffled the baby’s hair and the little boy gurgled up at her. ‘Thank you, Vivie. You’re a treasure. I’ve just remembered I have two hours before my first bus trip. Do you want to slip up to see Abbey and baby Lachlan while I mind young Ro?’

Vivie’s baby had been named after Abbey’s husband, Rohan. They all shortened the baby’s name to prevent confusion. Bella lifted the lid on the pot and closed her eyes as the soup’s aroma filled the room. ‘You should be a chef, Vivie. Your meals are fabulous.’

Vivie shook her head vehemently. ‘I’m happy here, thank you. And I’d love to see Abbey and the baby for a few minutes if I could.’ Vivie put the spoon down and wiped her son’s mouth with his bib before she lifted him out and onto his play mat in the corner. ‘We saw Rohan. He dropped in to see Aunt Sophie after he left the hospital. He looked pretty blown away by being a father.’

Bella smiled as she ladled soup into a bowl Vivie had left out for her. Rohan had a soft spot for Bella’s elderly maiden aunt who resided in the front rooms of Bella’s big house. An avid punter, Aunt Sophie’s world revolved around her television set and penny-gambling on horse races via telephone.

‘I’ll take Aunt Sophie over to see them when they come home. She hates going out.’ Bella smiled as she imagined her aunt’s visit to Abbey and her baby in a few days. ‘Who’s home?’

Bella’s family home had grown into a self-sufficient refuge for young women in crisis, something Abbey had unintentionally started before she’d moved next door with her new husband. Bella had expanded that aim when she’d taken over the house.

Vivie ticked off the people on her fingers. ‘Melissa is still here, but she wants to go with you in the bus to the bowling club and needs to talk to you about a friend who wants to board.’

Bella looked up and mentally reviewed the rooms. There were three left. ‘We’ll see.’

Vivie nodded and went on. ‘Lisa is still feeling unwell from morning sickness and is lying down, and Aunt Sophie said she’s staying in her rooms until the last race. The twins have gone out but they did bring the washing in and put it away before they went.’ She pushed the high chair back against the wall.

‘Oh, and Dr Rainford rang and said he wanted to come on the bus with you tonight.’

The spoonful of soup on the way to Bella’s mouth stopped in mid-air. ‘Now, how the heck did he find out I was driving tonight?’

Vivie looked uncomfortable. ‘He said he’d ring back when you got home and I mentioned you’d be in and out after seven. And it went on from there. Sorry.’

Bella put the untouched spoon back into the bowl and forced a smile. ‘No problem. You go and see Abbey. Young Ro and I will stay here until you get back, then I’ll get organised.’

Vivie smiled her thanks and dashed off to change. Bella lifted the spoon again. She did not understand how Scott Rainford thought he could barge into her private life uninvited. Why would he want to when he was obviously unhappy about her presence in his professional orbit?

It was five to seven and Bella had backed the cumbersome bus out of the garage into the driveway to allow her first passenger to board.

Melissa, at eighteen, was thirty-four weeks pregnant, and her yellow chenille trousers made Bella blink. Melissa’s wrists jangled every time she moved her hands and her body piercing was nothing short of incredible. A sweet-natured girl, Melissa had been badly let down by the boyfriend she was still in love with.

‘Vivie says you had something to ask me?’ Bella smiled to convey that she was listening and waited for Melissa to explain. The girl drew a deep breath, as if preparing for the worst, and Bella looked back at her puzzled. ‘Why so worried? I’ve never refused anyone in trouble, have I?’

‘It’s just that this is different. But not different! Well, it is different but shouldn’t be.’

Bella blinked. ‘Run that by me again.’

‘My friend…’ Melissa wrung her hands and the jewellery rattled and pinged with the movement ‘…is staying at the pub and it’s expensive, and she’s a really nice person. I guess, like me, the earrings and tattoos don’t help people like them.’

‘So you’d like your friend to stay at Chisholm Road until she finds somewhere to live. Is that right?’

Melissa twisted her hands again. ‘Sort of. But different.’

Bella sighed. ‘We’re back to different. Different shouldn’t be a problem.’ She narrowed her eyes. ‘Is she not pregnant, doesn’t speak English, has two heads?’

‘She’s a he.’ Melissa shot a glance at Bella and rushed on. ‘His name’s Blake, and he really is a sweetie.’

Bella stifled another sigh. She knew this had to come up some time. ‘How old is your Blake?’

Melissa shook her head. ‘He’s not my Blake. I still love Thomas.’ Her head drooped. ‘Even though he doesn’t love me.’ After a few moments of wishful thinking Melissa straightened her neck. ‘But Blake is twenty and my very best friend. He hasn’t been in town long but he stood up for me when some people were giving me a hard time and we’ve spent heaps of time together since. And I said I’d ask if he could stay. Maybe he could work around the yard or something. He said he would.’

Bella smiled at the girl in the rear-view mirror and reached across to shut the door. ‘We’ll see. We’d need a house meeting. I’m not promising anything.’ She started the engine and the radio came on with the ignition and gave her a respite from further discussion. She needed to think about this.

At least she didn’t have to deal with Scott Rainford while she worked it out. Bella wasn’t sure whether she was relieved that Scott hadn’t come or annoyed that she’d wasted time deciding what to wear. Relief won.

Unfortunately, just as she pushed in the clutch, his car drew up at the end of the driveway. Bella sighed and opened the passenger door again.

Darn. She could have done without this. Her pulse skipped and she closed her eyes for a second to steady her nerves.

He was dressed casually in dark jeans and a yellow polo shirt that sat snugly across his broad shoulders and deep chest. To Bella, he looked disturbingly handsome and charged with a virility that she could more easily ignore at work—but not tonight. He seemed bigger and stronger as he loomed over her seat and he made her aware of how slight she was compared to him.

‘Were you leaving without me, Bella?’ Scott had climbed the two steps into the bus and chosen the front seat directly next to her so that every time she turned her head she could see him. Bella wrinkled her brow. A faint drift of his expensive aftershave floated towards her and she resisted the temptation to breathe in more deeply. She had more sense than to lean towards self-destruction.

An enigmatic smile sat on his chiselled lips and his face was inscrutable. Bella reminded herself it was a waste of time to wonder what went on behind those cool green eyes of his. She never had been able to tell.

Maintain composure. Be assertive. She raised her voice over the radio. ‘I wasn’t waiting, Dr Rainford. Luckily you weren’t late.’ Bella put the vehicle smoothly into gear and pulled out into the street.

‘You handle the bus well.’ There wasn’t any condescension in his voice but his comment annoyed Bella anyway. She turned the radio up a little more.

‘Did you think I wouldn’t?’ she enquired sweetly as she negotiated a roundabout without touching the central island. She glanced across at his face and he was smiling. Now what was funny?

The laughter was in his voice. ‘So, where are we going first?’

Bella sighed and turned the radio down a little. There was no use gaining a headache just to annoy Scott.

‘It’s a set route and we start at the south side of town and visit the clubs and pubs until we end up back where we started. First stop is Southside Bowling Club. Melissa is getting out there.’

Bella shut her mouth with a snap. Until someone got on, she would be alone with Scott as they drove around. And this was the quietest time of the night. Great.

‘Why are you here anyway?’ She listened to her own voice and the belligerence in it made her bite her lip. There was no excuse for bad manners. ‘I’m sorry. That came out poorly.’

‘Please, don’t apologise. That’s one of the reasons I’m here.’ His words surprised Bella so much she reached over and turned off the radio.

Scott’s smile was wry at the sudden silence in the vehicle and from the corner of her eye she saw him rub the back of his neck. So the great Dr Rainford was uncomfortable. Bella wasn’t sure how that made her feel but it was good to know he wasn’t one hundred per cent comfortable all the time.

Scott held his silence as they drew up to the bowling club and Bella flicked on the indicator and steered the minibus under the entrance portico. The door hissed open at the first stop and Melissa swayed belly-first down the aisle to carefully descend the steps. She turned back at the bottom step.

‘You will think about it, won’t you, Bella?’ Bella nodded and the girl went on her way. The expression on Scott’s face as he watched her leave made Bella smile.

When Melissa was out of earshot, he looked at Bella. ‘Melissa makes me think of that Adam Harvey song about the girl who fell face first into the fishing-tackle box.’

‘You’re showing your age,’ she said, and she saw him wince.

‘That’s because I’m old.’

The humour of the reply didn’t quite come off and Bella shot him a look and changed the subject. ‘So what was this about you apologising?’

His expression softened and Bella was surprised how good that made her feel. Danger lights flashed. She should not feel anything. Scott’s hang-ups were no concern of hers.

He turned to face her fully. ‘I’m not good at apologies so bear with me.’ He took a deep melodramatic breath and his face was solemn.

‘Bella Wilson, I…’ he placed his hand over his heart with exaggerated sincerity ‘…Scott Rainford, apologise for any slur or aspersions I may have cast on your ability to run Gladstone Maternity Ward. It was uncalled for and inexcusable and not a true indication of my faith in your ability. Please, forgive me.’

Then he smiled. Bella looked into his eyes and it happened again. The world shifted and she knew he understood everything about her—just like that day twelve years ago when she’d fallen in love with him.

But she wasn’t going there. She didn’t need this. Bella fumbled with the gearstick until she found a gear and jerkily pulled away from the club as if to drive away would leave the words behind. She’d thought she’d sigh with relief when Scott stopped baiting her but now that he seemed so warmly approving she felt more off balance.

Even while she battled with the cumbersome bus in traffic, the awareness of Scott beside her didn’t go away. The air in the bus seemed charged and no matter how much Bella berated herself for the resurgence of all those emotions she’d fought against as a teenager, she couldn’t deny it—Scott’s presence excited her.

Excited her in a way the three years with the permanently unfaithful Jason had never done. But excitement passed, she reminded herself, and she wasn’t stupid enough to fall for that story again.

‘Apology accepted,’ she said quietly, and avoided his eyes.

Thankfully, the next stop saw two young women and a pimply youth board the bus and their friendly chatter helped distance the sensation that Bella was being drawn, inexorably, towards a fatal attraction she’d later regret. Because it wasn’t going to happen!

Scott had also been quiet since that unmistakable awareness had passed between them. Bella had no idea of his thoughts. Perhaps he regretted he’d come tonight. Maybe now he’d apologised he’d go home after the run. She could only hope.

Bella dropped the three passengers at a noisy pub and the bus was empty again. ‘After the next stop, I head home for nearly an hour before I do it all again.’ She glanced at Scott and his eyes seemed to warm her from across the aisle. Her imagination was running away with her. Scott wouldn’t look at her like that.

‘It gets busier later in the evening.’ Her voice cracked as she strove for normality and she wished he’d say something. Anything to break this mounting awareness that had come from nowhere and seemed to drain the strength from her body. She pulled into the last stop and two young blonde women, obviously twins, waved gaily as they clambered up the steps.

‘Hi, Bella.’ They looked at Scott curiously. ‘Hello, Dr Rainford,’ they chorused as they took their seats. Trish and Trina were just seventeen and Bella was pleased to see them heading home. Their mother was in hospital for a major operation and the girls had come to stay with Bella while she was away rather than with their stepfather whom they didn’t get on with.

Bella glanced into the rear vision mirror. ‘You ladies home for the night now?’ The girls nodded.

Scott observed the interplay between Bella and the girls. She treated them with respect and yet he could see that she had a natural authority that came across despite the gentleness of her voice.

Authority was something he hadn’t associated with Bella. This afternoon, after rational thought, he’d realised how badly he’d behaved to belittle Bella’s ability to run the ward. If she’d been an unknown replacement for Abbey’s job he would never have dreamed of undermining the new NUM’s confidence. Just because he had a problem looking at Bella dispassionately he had no right to take it out on her. He’d always believed in fair play and in retrospect he’d been dismayed at his behaviour. They needed to let go of their past and establish a good professional friendship.

Then he’d found out Bella was driving the youth bus and the idea of her safety weighed on him as well. And a little aching curiosity about how Bella coped with young adults—people the same age as his son—something he didn’t associate with beautiful but fragile Bella. Something he didn’t associate with himself. He shelved those thoughts for later. It was enough trying to remain rational around her.