Kitabı oku: «Sandra Belloni (originally Emilia in England). Complete», sayfa 12
Emilia was lifted to her seat. Lady Charlotte sprang unassisted to hers. “Ta-ta!” she waved her fingers from her lips. The pairs then separated; one couple turning into green lanes, the other dipping to blue hills.
CHAPTER XIX
Gossip of course was excited on the subject of the choice of a partner made by the member for the county. Cornelia placed her sisters in one of their most pleasing of difficulties. She had not as yet pledged her word. It was supposed that she considered it due to herself to withhold her word for a term. The rumour in the family was, that Sir Twickenham appreciated her hesitation, and desired that he might be intimately known before he was finally accepted. When the Tinleys called, they heard that Cornelia’s acceptance of the baronet was doubtful. The Copleys, on the other hand, distinctly understood that she had decided in his favour. Owing to the amiable dissension between the Copleys and the Tinleys, each party called again; giving the ladies of Brookfield further opportunity for studying one of the levels from which they had risen. Arabella did almost all the fencing with Laura Tinley, contemptuously as a youth of station returned from college will turn and foil an ill-conditioned villager, whom formerly he has encountered on the green.
“Had they often met, previous to the… the proposal?” inquired Laura; and laughed: “I was going to say ‘popping.’”
“Pray do not check yourself, if a phrase appears to suit you,” returned Arabella.
“But it was in the neighbourhood, was it not?”
“They have met in the neighbourhood.”
“At Richford?”
“Also at Richford.”
“We thought it was sudden, dear; that’s all.”
“Why should it not be?”
“Perhaps the best things are, it is true.”
“You congratulate us upon a benefit?”
“He is to be congratulated seriously. Naturally. When she decides, let me know early, I do entreat you, because… well, I am of a different opinion from some people, who talk of another attachment, or engagement, and I do not believe in it, and have said so.”
Rising to depart, Laura Tinley resumed: “Most singular! You are aware, of course, that poor creature, our organist—I ought to say yours—who looked (it was Mr. Sumner I heard say it—such a good thing!) as if he had been a gentleman in another world, and was the ghost of one in this: really one of the cleverest things! but he is clever!—Barrett’s his name: Barrett and some: musical name before it, like Handel. I mean one that we are used to. Well, the man has totally and unexpectedly thrown up his situation.”
“His appointment,” said Arabella. Permitting no surprise to be visible, she paused: “Yes. I don’t think we shall give our consent to her filling the post.”
Laura let it be seen that her adversary was here a sentence too quick for her.
“Ah! you mean your little Miss Belloni?”
“Was it not of her you were thinking?”
“When?” asked Laura, shamefully bewildered.
“When you alluded to Mr. Barrett’s vacant place.”
“Not at the moment.”
“I thought you must be pointing to her advancement.”
“I confess it was not in my mind.”
“In what consisted the singularity, then?”
“The singularity?”
“You prefaced your remarks with the exclamation, ‘Singular!’”
Laura showed that Arabella had passed her guard. She hastened to compliment her on her kindness to Emilia, and so sheathed her weapon for the time, having just enjoyed a casual inspection of Mrs. Chump entering the room, and heard the brogue an instant.
“Irish!” she whispered, smiling, with a sort of astonished discernment of the nationality, and swept through the doorway: thus conveying forcibly to Arabella her knowledge of what the ladies of Brookfield were enduring: a fine Parthian shot.
That Cornelia should hold a notable county man, a baronet and owner of great acres, in a state between acceptance and rejection, was considered high policy by the ladies, whom the idea of it elevated; and they encouraged her to pursue this course, without having a suspicion, shrewd as they were, that it was followed for any other object than the honour of the family. But Mr. Pole was in the utmost perplexity, and spoke of baronets as things almost holy, to be kneeled to, prayed for. He was profane. “I thought, papa,” said Cornelia, “that women conferred the favour when they gave their hands!”
It was a new light to the plain merchant. “How should you say if a Prince came and asked for you?”
“Still that he asked a favour at my hands.”
“Oh!” went Mr. Pole, in the voice of a man whose reason is outraged. The placidity of Cornelia’s reply was not without its effect on him, nevertheless. He had always thought his girls extraordinary girls, and born to be distinguished. “Perhaps she has a lord in view,” he concluded: it being his constant delusion to suppose that high towering female sense has always a practical aim at a material thing. He was no judge of the sex in its youth. “Just speak to her,” he said to Wilfrid.
Wilfrid had heard from Emilia that there was a tragic background to this outward placidity; tears on the pillow at night and long vigils. Emilia had surprised her weeping, and though she obtained no confidences, the soft mood was so strong in the stately lady, that she consented to weep on while Emilia clasped her. Petitioning on her behalf to Wilfrid for aid, Emilia had told him the scene; and he, with a man’s stupidity, alluded to it, not thinking what his knowledge of it revealed to a woman.
“Why do you vacillate, and keep us all in the dark as to what you mean?” he began.
“I am not prepared,” said Cornelia; the voice of humility issuing from a monument.
“One of your oracular phrases! Are you prepared to be straightforward in your dealings?”
“I am prepared for any sacrifice, Wilfrid.”
“The marrying of a man in his position is a sacrifice!”
“I cannot leave papa.”
“And why not?”
“He is ill. He does not speak of it, but he is ill. His actions are strange. They are unaccountable.”
“He has an old friend to reside in his house?”
“It is not that. I have noticed him. His mind…he requires watching.”
“And how long is it since you made this discovery?”
“One sees clearer perhaps when one is not quite happy.”
“Not happy! Then it’s for him that you turn the night to tears?”
Cornelia closed her lips. She divined that her betrayer must be close in his confidence. She went shortly after to Emilia, whose secret at once stood out bare to a kindled suspicion. There was no fear that Cornelia would put her finger on it accusingly, or speak of it directly. She had the sentimentalist’s profound respect for the name and notion of love. She addressed Emilia vaguely, bidding her keep guard on her emotions, and telling her there was one test of the truth of masculine protestations; this, Will he marry you? The which, if you are poor, is a passably infallible test. Emilia sucked this in thoughtfully. She heard that lovers were false. Why, then of course they were not like her lover! Cornelia finished what she deemed her duty, and departed, while Emilia thought: “I wonder whether he could be false to me;” and she gave herself shrewd half-delicious jarrings of pain, forcing herself to contemplate the impossible thing.
She was in this state when Mrs. Chump came across her, and with a slight pressure of a sovereign into her hand, said: “There, it’s for you, little Belloni! and I see ye’ve been thinkin’ me one o’ the scrape-hards and close-fists. It’s Pole who keeps me low, on purpose. And I’m a wretch if I haven’t my purse full, so you see I’m all in the dark in the house, and don’t know half so much as the sluts o’ the kitchen. So, ye’ll tell me, little Belloni, is Arr’bella goin’ to marry Mr. Annybody? And is Cornelia goin’ to marry Sir Tickleham? And whether Mr. Wilfrud’s goin’ to marry Lady Charlotte Chill’nworth? Becas, my dear, there’s Arr’bella, who’s sharp, she is, as a North-easter in January, (which Chump ‘d cry out for, for the sake of his ships, poor fella—he kneelin’ by ‘s bedside in a long nightgown and lookin’ just twice what he was!) she has me like a nail to my vary words, and shows me that nothin’ can happen betas o’ what I’ve said. And Cornelia—if ye’ll fancy a tall codfish on its tail: ‘Mrs. Chump, I beg ye’ll not go to believe annything of me.’ So I says to her, ‘Cornelia! my dear! do ye think, now, it’s true that Chump went and marrud his cook, that ye treat me so? becas my father,’ I tell her, ‘he dealt in porrk in a large way, and I was a fine woman, full of the arr’stocracy, and Chump a little puffed-out bladder of a man.’ So then she says: ‘Mrs. Chump, I listen to no gossup: listen you to no gossup. ‘And Mr. Wilfrud, my dear, he sends me on the flat o’ my back, laughin’. And Ad’la she takes and turns me right about, so that I don’t see the thing I’m askin’ after; and there’s nobody but you, little Belloni, to help me, and if ye do, ye shall know what the crumple of paper sounds like.”
Mrs. Chump gave a sugary suck with her tongue. Emilia returned the money to her.
“Ye’re foolush!” said Mrs. Chump. “A shut fist’s good in fight and bad in friendship. Do ye know that? Open your hand.”
“Excuse me,” persisted Emilia.
“Pooh! take the money, or I’ll say ye’re in a conspiracy to make me blindman’s-buff of the parrty. Take ut.”
“I don’t want it.”
“Maybe, it’s not enough?”
“I don’t want any, ma’am.”
“Ma’am, to the deuce with ye! I’ll be callin’ ye a forr’ner in a minute, I will.”
Emilia walked away from a volley of terrific threats.
For some reason, unfathomed by her, she wanted to be alone with Wilfrid and put a question to him. No other, in sooth, than the infallible test. Not, mind you, that she wished to be married. But something she had heard (she had forgotten what it was) disturbed her, and that recent trifling with pain, in her excess of happiness, laid her open to it. Her heart was weaker, and fluttered, as if with a broken wing. She thought, “if I can be near him to lean against him for one full hour!” it would make her strong again. For, she found that if her heart was rising on a broad breath, suddenly, for no reason that she knew, it seemed to stop in its rise, break, and sink, like a wind-beaten billow. Once or twice, in a quick fear, she thought: “What is this? Is this a malady coming before death?” She walked out gloomily, thinking of the darkness of the world to Wilfrid, if she should die. She plucked flowers, and then reproached herself with plucking them. She tried to sing. “No, not till I have been with him alone;” she said, chiding her voice to silence. A shadow crossed her mind, as a Spring-mist dulls the glory of May. “Suppose all singing has gone from me—will he love wretched me?”
By-and-by she met him in the house. “Come out of doors to-night,” she whispered.
Wilfrid’s spirit of intrigue was never to be taken by surprise. “In the wood, under the pine, at nine,” he replied.
“Not there,” said Emilia, seeing this place mournfully dark from Cornelia’s grief. “It is too still; say, where there’s water falling. One can’t be unhappy by noisy water.”
Wilfrid considered, and named Wilming Weir. “And there we’ll sit and you’ll sing to me. I won’t dine at home, so they won’t susp-a-fancy anything.—Soh! and you want very much to be with me, my bird? What am I?” He bent his head.
“My lover.”
He pressed her hand rapturously, half-doubting whether her pronunciation of the word had not a rather too confident twang.
Was it not delightful, he asked her, that they should be thus one to the other, and none know of it. She thought so too, and smiled happily, promising secresy, at his request; for the sake of continuing so felicitous a life.
“You, you know, have an appointment with Captain Gambier, and, I with Lady Charlotte Chillingworth,” said he. “How dare you make appointments with a captain of hussars?” and he bent her knuckles fondlingly.
Emilia smiled as before. He left her with a distinct impression that she did not comprehend that part of her lesson.
Wilfrid had just bled his father of a considerable sum of money; having assured him that he was the accepted suitor of Lady Charlotte Chillingworth, besides making himself pleasant in allusion to Mrs. Chump, so far as to cast some imputation on his sisters’ judgement for not perceiving the virtues of the widow. The sum was improvidently large. Mr. Pole did not hear aright when he heard it named. Even at the repetition, he went: “Eh?” two or three times, vacantly. The amount was distinctly nailed to his ear: whereupon he said, “Ah!—yes! you young fellows want money: must have it, I suppose. Up from the bowels of the earth Up from the—: you’re sure they’re not playing the fool with you, over there?”
Wilfrid understood the indication to Stornley. “I think you need have no fear of that, sir.” And so his father thought, after an examination of the youth, who was of manly shape, and had a fresh, non-fatuous, air.
“Well, if that’s all right…” sighed Mr. Pole. “Of course you’ll always know that money’s money. I wish your sisters wouldn’t lose their time, as they do. Time’s worth more than money. What sum?”
“I told you, sir, I wanted—there’s the yacht, you know, and a lot of tradesmen’s bills, which you don’t like to see standing:-about—perhaps I had better name the round sum. Suppose you write down eight hundred. I shan’t want more for some months. If you fancy it too much…”
Mr. Pole had lifted his head. But he spoke nothing. His lips and brows were rigid in apparent calculation. Wilfrid kept his position for a minute or so; and then, a little piqued, he moved about. He had inherited the antipathy to the discussion of the money question, and fretted to find it unnecessarily prolonged.
“Shall I come to you on this business another time, sir?”
“No, God bless my soul!” cried his father; “are you going to keep this hanging over me for ever? Eight hundred, you said.” He mumbled: “salary of a chief clerk of twenty years’ standing. Eight: twice four:—there you have it exactly.”
“Will you send it me in a letter?” said Wilfrid, out of patience.
“I’ll send it you in a letter,” assented his father. Upon which Wilfrid changed his mind. “I can take a chair, though. I can easily wait for it now.”
“Save trouble, if I send it. Eh?”
“Do you wish to see whether you can afford it, sir?”
“I wish to see you show more sense—with your confounded ‘afford.’ Have you any idea of bankers’ books?—bankers’ accounts?” Mr. Pole fished his cheque-book from a drawer and wrote Wilfrid’s name and the sum, tore out the leaf and tossed it to him. “There, I’ve written to-day. Don’t present it for a week.” He rubbed his forehead hastily, touching here and there a paper to put it scrupulously in a line with the others. Wilfrid left him, and thought: “Kind old boy! Of course, he always means kindly, but I think I see a glimpse of avarice as a sort of a sign of age coming on. I hope he’ll live long!”
Wilfrid was walking in the garden, imagining perhaps that he was thinking, as the swarming sensations of little people help them to imagine, when Cornelia ran hurriedly up to him and said: “Come with me to papa. He’s ill: I fear he is going to have a fit.”
“I left him sound and well, just now,” said Wilfrid. “This is your mania.”
“I found him gasping in his chair not two minutes after you quitted him. Dearest, he is in a dangerous state!”
Wilfrid stept back to his father, and was saluted with a ready “Well?” as he entered; but the mask had slipped from half of the old man’s face, and for the first time in his life Wilfrid perceived that he had become an old man.
“Well, sir, you sent for me?” he said.
“Girls always try to persuade you you’re ill—that’s all,” returned Mr. Pole. His voice was subdued; but turning to Cornelia, he fired up: “It’s preposterous to tell a man who carries on a business like mine, you’ve observed for a long while that he’s queer!—There, my dear child, I know that you mean well. I shall look all right the day you’re married.”
This allusion, and the sudden kindness, drew a storm of tears to Cornelia’s eyelids.
“Papa! if you will but tell me what it is!” she moaned.
A nervous frenzy seemed to take possession of him. He ordered her out of the room.
She was gone, but his arm was still stretched out, and his expression of irritated command did not subside.
Wilfrid took his arm and put it gently down on the chair, saying: “You’re not quite the thing to-day, sir.”
“Are you a fool as well?” Mr. Pole retorted. “What do you know of, to make me ill? I live a regular life. I eat and drink just as you all do; and if I have a headache, I’m stunned with a whole family screaming as hard as they can that I’m going to die. Damned hard! I say, sir, it’s—” He fell into a feebleness.
“A little glass of brandy, I think,” Wilfrid suggested; and when Mr. Pole had gathered his mind he assented, begging his son particularly to take precautions to prevent any one from entering the room until he had tasted the reviving liquor.
CHAPTER XX
A half-circle of high-banked greensward, studded with old park-trees, hung round the roar of the water; distant enough from the white-twisting fall to be mirrored on a smooth-heaved surface, while its out-pushing brushwood below drooped under burdens of drowned reed-flags that caught the foam. Keen scent of hay, crossing the dark air, met Emilia as she entered the river-meadow. A little more, and she saw the white weir-piles shining, and the grey roller just beginning to glisten to the moon. Eastward on her left, behind a cedar, the moon had cast off a thick cloud, and shone through the cedar-bars with a yellowish hazy softness, making rosy gold of the first passion of the tide, which, writhing and straining on through many lights, grew wide upon the wonderful velvet darkness underlying the wooded banks. With the full force of a young soul that leaps from beauty seen to unimagined beauty, Emilia stood and watched the picture. Then she sat down, hushed, awaiting her lover.
Wilfrid, as it chanced, was ten minutes late. She did not hear his voice till he had sunk on his knee by her side.
“What a reverie!” he said half jealously. “Isn’t it lovely here?”
Emilia pressed his hand, but without turning her face to him, as her habit was. He took it for shyness, and encouraged her with soft exclamations and expansive tenderness.
“I wish I had not come here!” she murmured.
“Tell me why?” He folded his arm about her waist.
“Why did you let me wait?” said she.
Wilfrid drew out his watch; blamed the accident that had detained him, and remarked that there were not many minutes to witness against him.
She appeared to throw off her moodiness. “You are here at last. Let me hold your hand, and think, and be quite silent.”
“You shall hold my hand, and think, and be quite silent, my own girl! if you will tell me what’s on your mind.”
Emilia thought it enough to look in his face, smiling.
“Has any one annoyed you?” he cried out.
“No one.”
“Then receive the command of your lord, that you kiss him.”
“I will kiss him,” said Emilia; and did so.
The salute might have appeased an imperious lord, but was not so satisfactory to an exacting lover. He perceived, however, that, whether as lover or as lord, he must wait for her now, owing to her having waited for him: so, he sat by her, permitting his hand to be softly squeezed, and trying to get at least in the track of her ideas, while her ear was turned to the weir, and her eyes were on the glowing edges of the cedar-tree.
Finally, on one of many deep breaths, she said: “It’s over. Why were you late? But, never mind now. Never let it be long again when I am expecting you. It’s then I feel so much at his mercy. I mean, if I am where I hear falling water; sometimes thunder.”
Wilfrid masked his complete mystification with a caressing smile; not without a growing respect for the only person who could make him experience the pangs of conscious silliness. You see, he was not a coxcomb.
“That German!” Emilia enlightened him.
“Your old music-master?”
“I wish it, I wish it! I should soon be free from him. Don’t you know that dreadful man I told you about, who’s like a black angel to me, because there is no music like his? and he’s a German! I told you how I first dreamed about him, and then regularly every night, after talking with my father about Italy and his black-yellow Tedeschi, this man came over my pillow and made me call him Master, Master. And he is. He seems as if he were the master of my soul, mocking me, making me worship him in spite of my hate. I came here, thinking only of you. I heard the water like a great symphony. I fell into dreaming of my music. That’s when I am at his mercy. There’s no one like him. I must detest music to get free from him. How can I? He is like the God of music.”
Wilfrid now remembered certain of her allusions to this rival, who had hitherto touched him very little. Perhaps it was partly the lovely scene that lifted him to a spiritual jealousy, partly his susceptibility to a sentimental exaggeration, and partly the mysterious new charm in Emilia’s manner, that was as a bordering lustre, showing how the full orb was rising behind her.
“His name?” Wilfrid asked for.
Emilia’s lips broke to the second letter of the alphabet; but she cut short the word. “Why should you hear it? And now that you are here, you drive him away. And the best is,” she laughed, “I am sure you will not remember any of his pieces. I wish I could not—not that it’s the memory; but he seems all round me, up in the air, and when the trees move all together…you chase him away, my lover!”
It was like a break in music, the way that Emilia suddenly closed her sentence; coming with a shock of flattering surprise upon Wilfrid.
Then she pursued: “My English lover! I am like Italy, in chains to that German, and you…but no, no, no! It’s not quite a likeness, for my German is not a brute. I have seen his picture in shop-windows: the wind seemed in his hair, and he seemed to hear with his eyes: his forehead frowning so. Look at me, and see. So!”
Emilia pressed up the hair from her temples and bent her brows.
“It does not increase your beauty,” said Wilfrid.
“There’s the difference!” Emilia sighed mildly. “He sees angels, cherubs, and fairies, and imps, and devils; or he hears them: they come before him from far off, in music. They do to me, now and then. Only now and then, when my head’s on fire.—My lover!”
Wilfrid pressed his mouth to the sweet instrument. She took his kiss fully, and gave her own frankly, in return. Then, sighing a very little, she said: “Do not kiss me much.”
“Why not?”
“No!”
“But, look at me.”
“I will look at you. Only take my hand. See the moon is getting whiter. The water there is like a pool of snakes, and then they struggle out, and roll over and over, and stream on lengthwise. I can see their long flat heads, and their eyes: almost their skins. No, my lover! do not kiss me. I lose my peace.”
Wilfrid was not willing to relinquish his advantage, and the tender deep tone of the remonstrance was most musical and catching. What if he pulled her to earth from that rival of his in her soul? She would then be wholly his own. His lover’s sentiment had grown rageingly jealous of the lordly German. But Emilia said, “I have you on my heart more when I touch your hand only, and think. If you kiss me, I go into a cloud, and lose your face in my mind.”
“Yes, yes;” replied Wilfrid, pleased to sustain the argument for the sake of its fruitful promises. “But you must submit to be kissed, my darling. You will have to.”
She gazed inquiringly.
“When you are married, I mean.”
“When will you marry me?” she said.
The heir-apparent of the house of Pole blinked probably at that moment more foolishly than most mortal men have done. Taming his astonishment to represent a smile, he remarked: “When? are you thinking about it already?”
She answered, in a quiet voice that conveyed the fact forcibly, “Yes.”
“But you’re too young yet; and you’re going to Italy, to learn in the schools. You wouldn’t take a husband there with you, would you? What would the poor devil do?”
“But you are not too young,” said she.
Wilfrid supposed not.
“Could you not go to my Italy with me?”
“Impossible! What! as a dangling husband?” Wilfrid laughed scornfully.
“They would love you too,” she said. “They are such loving people. Oh, come! Consent to come, my lover! I must learn. If I do not, you will despise me. How can I bring anything to lay at your feet, my dear! my dear! if I do not?”
“Impossible!” Wilfrid reiterated, as one who had found moorings in the word.
“Then I will give up Italy!”
He had not previously acted hypocrite with this amazing girl. Nevertheless, it became difficult not to do so. He could scarcely believe that he had on a sudden, and by strange agency, slipped into an earnest situation. Emilia’s attitude and tone awakened him to see it. Her hands were clenched straight down from the shoulders: all that she conceived herself to be renouncing for his sake was expressed in her face.
“Would you, really?” he murmured.
“I will!”
“And be English altogether?”
“Be yours!”
“Mine?”
“Yes; from this time.”
Now stirred his better nature: though not before had he sceptically touched her lips and found them cold, as if the fire had been taken out of them by what they had uttered. He felt that it was no animal love, but the force of a soul drawn to him; and, forgetting the hypocritical foundation he had laid, he said: “How proud I shall be of you!”
“I shall go with you to battle,” returned Emilia.
“My little darling! You won’t care to see those black fellows killed, will you?”
Emilia shuddered. “No; poor things! Why do you hurt them? Kill wicked people, tyrant white-coats! And we will not talk of killing now. Proud of me? If I can make you!”
“You sigh so heavily!”
“Something makes me feel like a little beggar.”
“When I tell you I love you?”
“Yes; but I only feel rich when I am giving; and I seem to have nothing to give now:—now that I have lost Italy!”
“But you give me your love, don’t you?”
“All of it. But I seem to give it to you in tatters it’s like a beggar; like a day without any sun.”
“Do you think I shall have that idea when I hear you sing to me, and know that this little leaping fountain of music here is mine?”
Dim rays of a thought led Emilia to remark, “Must not men keel to women? I mean, if they are to love them for ever?”
Wilfrid smiled gallantly: “I will kneel to you, if it pleases you.”
“Not now. You should have done so, once, I dreamed only once, just for a moment, in Italy; when all were crying out to me that I had caught their hearts. I fancied standing out like a bright thing in a dark crowd, and then saying ‘I am his!’ pointing to you, and folding my arms, waiting for you to take me.”
The lover’s imagination fired at the picture, and immediately he told a lover’s lie; for the emotion excited by the thought of her glory coloured deliciously that image of her abnegation of all to him. He said: “I would rather have you as you are.”
Emilia leaned to him more, and the pair fixed their eyes on the moon, that had now topped the cedar, and was pure silver: silver on the grass, on the leafage, on the waters. And in the West, facing it, was an arch of twilight and tremulous rose; as if a spirit hung there over the shrouded sun.
“At least,” thought Wilfrid, “heaven, and the beauty of the world, approve my choice.” And he looked up, fancying that he had a courage almost serene to meet his kindred with Emilia on his arm.
She felt his arm dreamily stressing its clasp about her, and said: “Now I know you love me. And you shall take me as I am. I need not be so poor after all. My dear! my dear! I cannot see beyond you.”
“Is that your misery?” said he.
“My delight! my pleasure! One can live a life anywhere. And how can I belong to Italy, if I am yours? Do you know, when we were silent just now, I was thinking that water was the history of the world flowing out before me, all mixed up of kings and queens, and warriors with armour, and shouting armies; battles and numbers of mixed people; and great red sunsets, with women kneeling under them. Do you know those long low sunsets? I love them. They look like blood spilt for love. The noise of the water, and the moist green smell, gave me hundreds of pictures that seemed to hug me. I thought—what could stir music in me more than this? and, am I not just as rich if I stay here with my lover, instead of flying to strange countries, that I shall not care for now? So, you shall take me as I am. I do not feel poor any longer.”
With that she gave him both her hands.
“Yes,” said Wilfrid.
As if struck by the ridicule of so feeble a note, falling upon her passionate speech, he followed it up with the “yes!” of a man; adding: “Whatever you are, you are my dear girl; my own love; mine!”
Having said it, he was screwed up to feel it as nearly as possible, such virtue is there in uttered words.
Then he set about resolutely studying to appreciate her in the new character she had assumed to him. It is barely to be supposed that he should understand what in her love for him she sacrificed in giving up Italy, as she phrased it. He had some little notion of the sacrifice; but, as he did not demand any sacrifice of the sort, and as this involved a question perplexing, irritating, absurd, he did not regard it very favourably. As mistress of his fancy, her prospective musical triumphs were the crown of gold hanging over her. As wife of his bosom, they were not to be thought of. But the wife of his bosom must take her place by virtue of some wondrous charm. What was it that Emilia could show, if not music? Beautiful eyebrows: thick rare eyebrows, no doubt couched upon her full eyes, they were a marvel: and her eyes were a marvel. She had a sweet mouth, too, though the upper lip did not boast the aristocratic conventional curve of adorable pride, or the under lip a pretty droop to a petty rounded chin. Her face was like the aftersunset across a rose-garden, with the wings of an eagle poised outspread on the light. Some such coloured, vague, magnified impression Wilfrid took of her. Still, it was not quite enough to make him scorn contempt, should it whisper: nor even quite enough to combat successfully the image of elegant dames in their chosen attitudes—the queenly moments when perhaps they enter an assembly, or pour out tea with an exquisite exhibition of arm, or recline upon a couch, commanding homage of the world of little men. What else had this girl to count upon to make her exclusive? A devoted heart; she had a loyal heart, and perfect frankness: a mind impressible, intelligent, and fresh. She gave promise of fair companionship at all seasons. She could put a spell upon him, moreover. By that power of hers, never wilfully exercised, she came, in spite of the effect left on him by her early awkwardnesses and ‘animalities,’ nearer to his idea of superhuman nature than anything he knew of. But how would she be regarded when the announcement of Mrs. Wilfrid Pole brought scrutinizing eyes and gossiping mouths to bear on her?
