«Θα έπρεπε να γράψετε ένα βιβλίο για τη μαμά». Κουβέντα από την Τζωρτίνα στα γενέθλια της Μαρινέλλας, πριν από χρόνια.

Το άκουσα, το ξέχασα. Δεν το πήρα αψήφιστα, αλλά ήξερα πως είμαι ακατάλληλος για βιογράφος, εξαιτίας του ύφους που γράφω. Καλώς ή κακώς. Από αλλού ξεκινώ και αλλού βρίσκομαι, παρεμβαίνει το θυμικό μου, νευριάζω με τους ήρωές μου, κάνω αυτά που κάνω, ώστε να μη συμπεριλαμβάνομαι στους τρέχοντες κολοσσούς της λογοτεχνίας. Δεν παραληρώ για τα αποδεκτά «πολιτικώς ορθά» και de facto απυρόβλητα μείζονα θέματα.

Με τέτοιον χαρακτήρα πώς να αναλάβω μια Μαρινέλλα, με την οποία ναι μεν μας συνδέουν μερικές ενδιαφέρουσες δεκαετίες, αλλά δεν θα μου προέκυπταν φωτοστέφανα και θαυμαστικές κορόνες για τον μελωδικό κόσμο της νύχτας.

«Ξέρετε, εγώ…». Έφερνα αντιρρήσεις, ξέροντας τον χαρακτήρα μου. Η άλλη πλευρά επέμενε: «Κάνετε λάθος…». «Μα είμαι ολόκληρος ένα κινούμενο λάθος», απαντούσα. Τελικά, ο βιογράφος «εάλω»…

«Εσύ με ξέρεις» ― η Μαρινέλλα.

«Εγώ σ' αγαπώ, αλλά φοβάμαι ότι εσύ δεν με ξέρεις», απαντούσα.

Τσούλησε ένα διάστημα με «σε ξέρω», «δεν με ξέρεις», ώσπου να το πάρουμε απόφαση και να ξεκινήσουν τα μεσημεριανά συμπόσια εις μνήμην του Πλάτωνα και άλλων συγγενών ανάλογων συμποσιακών εμπειριών.

Έτσι προχωρήσαμε, φωτίζοντας με μεσημβρινό φως νύχτες ή και μέρες μιας ζωής από χώμα, φωνή, έρωτα, μόχθο και πολλή αγάπη. Κι έγινε ένα βιβλίο που, χωρίς να είναι a priori βιογραφία, άρχισε να μοιάζει με μυθιστόρημα δικό μου.

Γ. Ξ.

Ό,τι αγαπώ και ψιθυρίζω είναι αυτό το λίγο που γνωρίζω…

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«Μαρινέλλα - Οι νύχτες που έγιναν μεσημέρια», Γιάννης Ξανθούλης benzeri kitaplar