Kitabı oku: «Regency Collection 2013 Part 1», sayfa 47
Chapter Fourteen
Penny closed her eyes, and focused on the sound of the room, rather than the faces of the people in it. She had thought things were going so well. But now, it was impossible to tell friends from enemies. When she was seventeen, the falsehoods and sly derision had come as a surprise. But she knew better now. When she looked closely at those around her, she could see from the strained expressions on the faces of her husband’s friends that she did not fit in.
And the looks of suspicion, jealousy and disdain seemed to follow, wherever Clarissa had been. The woman could spread discord like a bee spreads pollen.
Damn them all. She would send the guests away, just as Adam had told her she could. And never, ever, would she submit to such torture again. In time, Adam would forget about her, since it was obvious that he wished to be elsewhere. If it mattered so much to him that there be entertainment in his house, he would have been at her side when she was all but attacked by his mistress.
She steadied her breathing. To call a sudden halt to the proceedings would be even more embarrassing than to continue with them. If there were any left in the room that were not talking about her, they soon would be, once she drove them from her house and slammed the doors.
She would retire herself, then. It was embarrassing for a hostess to abandon her guests. But she found herself—suddenly indisposed. Too ill to continue, no doubt due to the stress of the event. People would understand. Some would know the cause of the indisposition, but not all. She might still save some small portion of pride.
She had but to find her husband, and tell him that it behoved him, as host, to rise from the card table, and attend to his guests, for she could not hold up another instant.
She exited the hall and was almost in the card room before she knew what she was about. The sound of male laughter echoed into the hallway.
It would be embarrassing to invade the privacy of the men, but it could not be helped. It was her house, after all. Even if she might need to continually remind herself of the fact.
She paused in front of the partially open door, standing behind it, and taking in a deep breath, scented with the tobacco smoke escaping from the room. And without intending to, she heard the conversation, escaping from the room as well.
‘Of course, now that Adam is an old married man, he will not be interested in cards or horses. I dare say your new bride does not approve of your track losses, Bellston.’
There was general laughter.
‘She has not yet had the chance to approve or disapprove of them, Mark. We have been married a short time, and even I cannot lose money so fast as that, despite my dashed bad luck. When one is throwing one’s money away, it takes time to pick a horse that can do the job properly.’
‘You took little enough care in the finding of a wife, Adam.’
So she was no different than choosing a jade. Anger mingled with shame at the hearing of it.
‘Indeed. You were alone when you left London. Wherever did you find her?’ It was her husband’s friend, John.
‘She found me, more like. I was not even looking.’ Her husband’s voice.
She drew back from the door. Her father had often told her that people who listened at keyholes deserved what they heard. She should retreat immediately if she did not want Clarissa’s stories confirmed.
‘She must have a fat purse, then, for you to marry so quickly.’
She could feel her cheeks reddening. One, two, three …
‘Her father was a cit?’ Another voice, edged with curiosity.
Four, five, six.
‘In printing, I believe,’ her husband answered. ‘Books and such. My wife is a great reader. Probably through his influence.’
Someone laughed. ‘What does a woman need with reading?’
Idiot. Her fists balled.
‘I wouldn’t know, myself. But she seems to value it.’ There was the faintest trace of sarcasm in her husband’s voice. And she relaxed her fists. ‘I imagine it proves useful, if one does not wish to appear as foolish as you.’
‘But it must take her time away from other, more important things,’ John responded. ‘Her appearance, for example. She is a bit of a quiz.’
Her husband, and his damned friends, sniping and backbiting, as she had seen them on the first day. She would not cry, she reminded herself. She was a grown woman, in her own house, and she would suffer these fools no longer, but go into the room and remind her husband who had paid for the party.
And then she noticed the silence emanating from the room. John’s comment had been followed by a mutter of assent, and some nervous laughter, that had faded quickly to nothing.
Her husband spoke. ‘I find her appearance to be singular. Her eyes, especially, are most compelling. Not to everyone’s taste, perhaps, but very much to mine. You might wish to remember that, in future, if you wish to visit my home.’ The warning in his voice was clear, and she imagined him the way he had been when he stood up to her brother. Quiet, but quite frightening.
Her jaw dropped.
There was more muttering in the room, and a hurried apology from John.
Her husband spoke again. ‘If any are curious on the matter of how I came to be married so quickly after my recent financial misfortunes, and to one so wealthy as my wife, let me clarify the situation, that you may explain it to them. It was a chance meeting of kindred souls. The decision on both our parts was very sudden, and on my part, it had very little to do with the size of her inheritance. I consider myself most fortunate to have found so intelligent and understanding a woman, and must regret that circumstances imply an ulterior motive. Would anyone else care to comment on it?’
There were hurried denials from his friends.
‘I thought not. Furthermore, I do not expect to hear more on the subject of my wife’s family. Her brother is in trade, and our backgrounds are most different. But I wished the woman I married to be worthy of the title, and with sufficient character to bring pride to my name. I am more than happy with my choice. Would that you are all as lucky as I have been.’
Nervous silence followed, and someone cleared his throat.
Then, when tension had reached a near-unbearable point, she heard the sound of shuffling cards, and her husband drawled, ‘Another hand, gentleman?’
She could feel the tension release, as the men rushed to offer assent.
She leaned her back to the wall, and let the plaster support her as the room began to spin. The Duke of Bellston found her ‘singular’. Whatever did that mean? If another had said it, she’d have thought it was faint praise, and that the speaker had been too kind to say ‘odd’.
But from Adam’s lips? It had sounded like ‘rare’. As though she was something to be sought for and kept safe.
She could not help the ridiculous glow she felt at the knowledge. The most important man in the room thought she did credit to his name. And there had been no false note when he had said he was happy.
She walked slowly down the short hall, toward the ballroom. At the doorway, the butler came to her with a question about the wine, and she answered absently, but with confidence. She could not help smiling, as she went back to her guests, and even managed to stand up for another dance when her husband’s brother offered.
The evening was drawing to a close, the crowd already thinning, and it did not really matter if the guests liked her or not. They were leaving soon, and she would be alone with a man who, she smiled to herself, thought she was ‘singular’. She looked up to see her husband returning to the main room to seek her out. He took her hand to lead her to the floor for a final dance, but paused, with his head tipped to the side, staring at her.
‘Your Grace?’ she responded, and smiled back at him.
He shook his head. ‘Something is different. What has occurred?’
‘I do not know what you mean.’
‘You have changed.’
She glanced down at her gown, spreading the skirt with her hand, and shrugged back at him. ‘I assure you, I am no different than when we left our rooms earlier today.’
He smiled. ‘Perhaps I should have chosen my words more carefully. You are transfigured. I was gone from the room for a short time, and I return to find I’ve missed a metamorphosis.’
She laughed then, and looked away, remembering his words from earlier. And she could feel the heat in her cheeks as she answered, ‘Is this transfiguration a good thing? For not all of them are, you know.’
‘I hope so. For you are looking most … well … hmm … I assume you had a pleasant evening.’
‘Well enough. But better, now that it is over.’ She saw Lord Timothy, staring significantly at her, from across the room. ‘If you will excuse me. I think your friend wishes to speak to me.’
‘Very well.’
Adam watched her back as she walked away from him and toward the stairs. There was definitely something different about her. A sway in her hips, perhaps? Or a toss of her head as she turned. And her colouring was better. Where she had been deathly pale at the beginning of the evening, to the extent that he feared she might faint in his arms, now there were roses in her cheeks, and a sparkle in her eye. She was smiling as she walked away from him, and he heard her laugh in response to something that Tim had said to her.
The whole impression was most fetching, if a bit disconcerting. As he looked at her, he found himself comparing her with the few ladies remaining in the room. He found the others wanting. She would never be known as a great beauty, but she was certainly handsome. Tonight, she was displaying a strength of character and a confidence that had been lacking in the early days of their marriage. She glanced back at him from her spot beside Tim, and her smile was spontaneous and infectious.
And he had got the distinct impression, when she’d greeted him just now, that she had been flirting with him.
He scanned what was left of the crowd to see if any had noticed, or if there might be some explanation for the change in behaviour. His eye caught his brother, and he signalled him with a nod of his head.
Will crossed the room to his side, smiling and relaxed. It appeared he had also enjoyed the party. ‘The evening went well.’
‘That is good to know.’ Adam indicated his retreating wife with an inclination of his head. ‘Penelope did well, I think.’
Will smiled after her. ‘So it seems. She is looking most fine this evening.’
Adam nodded agreement. ‘What put such colour in her cheeks, I wonder? I spent much of the evening in the card room, and too little time with her.’ That his absence might have contributed to her good mood was more than a little irritating.
‘Perhaps it was the dancing. I had opportunity to stand up with her on several occasions. She is most adept for one who spends so much time amongst her books. And an intelligent conversationalist, once she overcomes her shyness. It was why I was so opposed to your match. You are a gad, not much for sitting home of an evening, while she would like nothing better. It is not the recipe for a happy union, when two partners are so dissimilar.’
‘As you know, with your vast experience as a married man.’
His brother ignored the gibe. ‘But I rescind my former feelings on the subject. She seems to be warming to her job as hostess. And once she began to open up to me, I found her views on scholarship to be most refreshing.’
‘She opened up to you.’
‘Yes. As the evening wore on, she was most chatty. We had several opportunities to speak, as we danced.’
‘Oh.’ He remembered seeing her, clasping his brother’s hand, and the look she had given him, as though she wished him to see. Did she mean to make him jealous? She had succeeded.
Will continued. ‘It is good that you plan to allow her to continue with her work. She is correct: her views have value. I most look forward to reading her translation when she completes it.’
Adam searched his heart for a desire to read Homer, in any form, and found it wanting. He could still remember the sting of the ruler on the back of his hand, for all the times he had neglected his studies to go riding, or attempted them, only to miss a conjugation. And now, Will would be there to appreciate the work, once Penny had completed it.
Damn him. But that was ridiculous. He had nothing to fear from his brother. Will would rather die than come between him and his new wife. He should be happy that Penny would have someone to talk to.
Then why did he feel so irritated that she was talking to him tonight? Adam had left her alone to fend for herself. And she had done it, admirably. By the end of the evening, he’d heard murmurs about what a fine hostess she had been, and the people wishing him well had sounded sincere and not sarcastic. The evening had been a success.
And now, his brother could not stop prattling on about his wife’s finer qualities, as though they were any business of his. ‘… and a lot in common with Tim as well. Perhaps when you go home, she will have opportunity to see his research, for I think she would find it fascinating. He was a dab hand at languages when you were in school, was he not?’
‘Tim.’ Oh, dear God. Not him as well.
‘Yes. They went off together, just now, while we were speaking? Probably looking for a quiet corner where they can conjugate verbs together.’ Will laughed.
‘Not if I can help it.’ And Adam left his brother to search out his wife.
Chapter Fifteen
‘Fair Penelope.’ Lord Timothy was being most effusive in his praise, and she wondered if he were the worse for drink. ‘I have sent my wife home, and she will bother you no further.’
‘You wished to speak to me?’
He caught her hand, and slipped it through the crook of his arm, then led her away from the ballroom. ‘In your sitting room, if that is all right. Somewhere we can be alone.’
‘What do you wish to say that requires privacy?’
‘Things I do not wish others to hear.’ He led her past her husband, who was deep in conversation with his brother, and hardly aware of his surroundings. ‘Perhaps I wish to be the first man of the ton to attempt a flirtation with you. I expect there shall be many, and do not wish to lose my chance, for lack of courage.’
She tried a laugh, and failed. ‘If that was meant as a joke, I fear it was not very funny. I do not wish you to flirt with me, now or ever, if that is truly your intent.’
‘A pity.’ He sighed. ‘We would likely do well together, just as our spouses suit each other. For we are studious and bookish, and not at ease in society. Just as they are mercurial and charismatic.’
‘It was true what she said, then. You know about them.’ Then Penny stopped to look around, afraid that a guest might have heard her speak.
Tim hurried down the last flight of steps and pulled her down the hall and into her own room, shutting the door behind them. ‘I am many things, Penelope, but I am neither blind, nor foolish. I was well aware of what happened. Clarissa made certain of it.’
‘It does not bother you that your wife is so flagrant in her attentions to other men?’
He sighed. ‘Many of the couples in my set have such agreements. We married for reasons other than love. She was rich, as well as beautiful. I have been able to finance my studies.’ He grimaced. ‘Although she makes me pay dearly for them.’
‘And you all look politely the other way when there is something you do not wish to see?’
‘Precisely.’
‘But if I make the slightest social faux pas?’
‘Then you will be the talk of the town. You are already notorious for aspiring to a better class than you were born to. People like Clarissa wish to see you fail, to prove that you do not belong. Then they may continue to feel superior.’
‘Timothy, this is grossly unfair.’
He nodded. ‘But do not believe what she told you. You did well tonight.’
She ignored the compliment. ‘It is not particularly moral of you all to allow such chaos and infidelity in your midst.’
‘You must have a very limited understanding of society to think so, my dear.’
‘I never claimed to have one. Not your idea of society, at least. In the circles I moved in, people did not work so at playing false. My mother loved my father, and my father loved her. They were a most happy couple, until she died. And I would swear they were faithful; even after she was gone, my father did not seek the company of women, or wish to remarry. He threw himself wholeheartedly into his work.’
Timothy laughed. ‘Perhaps that is the problem, for we have no work to throw ourselves into. Idle hands, as they say, my dear. Clarissa is proof of that, for she has never done a moment’s real labour, but is the devil’s handmaiden if there is mischief to be made.’
Penny did not wish to speak ill of the man’s wife, and attempted, ‘I am sure that she has many qualities that I will consider admirable, once I know her better.’
‘And I came here to warn you not to bother. You will never get from her other than you got tonight. Backbiting, sly innuendoes, threats and tricks. If you show weakness, she will use it against you. Once she finds a chink in your armour, she will strike there, to bring you all the pain she can. That is the only reason that she wants Adam back, now that he has finally come to his senses. It amuses her to drive a wedge between me and my oldest friend.’
Penny seized on the only hopeful note in the speech. ‘So they are no longer together?’
‘Not for some time. But she is persistent, and I feared he would weaken. When he returned from Scotland with you, I was much relieved.’
Penny shook her head. ‘It is no love match. Do not expect him to choose me, should there be a choice to be made.’
‘And yet, he says he did not marry for money, and I believe him.’
She weighed the truth, and the burden of keeping the secret from one who could help her understand. At last she said, ‘We are married because I tricked him. I needed a husband to gain control of my fortune. When I found him, he was face down in a coach yard. It appeared he had tried to throw himself beneath the carriage and make an end of it. He said something about gambling and bad debts when he was sober enough to talk. But he was far too drunk to know what was happening at the time of the actual marriage.’
‘It was not binding, if he was too drunk to agree.’
‘That was what I thought. I offered to let him go. But he felt an obligation. I needed a husband, and he needed money. And since we were already married, we struck a bargain and came back to London.’ She looked sadly at Timothy. ‘I am sorry to disappoint you, if you were expecting a grand romantic tale. But that’s the truth of it.’
‘Nonsense. He is yours if you want him, and Clarissa has no hope. I know him better than I know myself. And I have seen the way he looks at you.’
She laughed. ‘What way is that?’
‘Like a man in love. You are good for him, Penelope. No matter how things appear, you must not lose heart, for Clarissa is no threat to you.’ Tim caught her hand and held it in his.
She laughed. ‘You are mad.’
‘Adam may be too big a fool to tell you, just yet. But not so big a fool as to pass you by for that harridan I am shackled to. What happened pains him greatly, and I am sick to death of seeing the guilt in his eyes when he looks at me. Make him forget, and you will help us both.’
‘But why do you bother, Tim? I am sure he would not blame you if you could not forgive him.’
Tim smiled. ‘I know how much of the blame lies with my wife. Clare angled after him for years before she finally trapped him. It was a wonder he held out as long as he did.’
‘But she was not the only one at fault,’ Penny said.
‘True enough. And try as I might, I cannot help but forgive him. I’m sure you have noticed by now that he is a most likeable fellow, especially when you wish to be angry with him. Very persuasive. Has he told you what happened, to get him sent down when we were at school together?’
‘No.’ She tried to hide her curiosity.
‘It was all my doing.’ Tim shook his head. ‘I was a heavy drinker in those days. And one night, while deep in my cups, we got to brawling with each other in a public house, like common ruffians. That was over a woman as well, for it is the only reason we ever argue. Missed curfew. And gave him the worst of it. Blacked his eye and nearly broke that handsome face of his. It was all around the school that I assaulted Bellston’s heir. Added to my lack of academic attention, I deserved a one-way ticket home. But somehow, Adam managed to convince the deans that it was all his fault. Took the whole blame. Issued the apologies, paid the bills, put some ice on his black eyes and allowed himself to be sent home in disgrace to face his father. Told me, if I loved science so much, I had best get about proving it, for with no title and no money, I would need an education to secure my future. But since he was to be duke, he could be as big a fool as he liked and no harm would come of it.’
Tim smiled and shook his head. ‘Couldn’t well be angry with him after that. You will see what he is like, if you haven’t already. When he tries, let him charm you. You will not regret it, I promise you.’
There was a rather loud sound of someone clearing his throat in the hallway, and then the door opened and her husband walked into the room.
Adam glanced at them, as though not noticing anything unusual, and said, ‘I was looking for a book, for the trip tomorrow.’ He looked at her. ‘Perhaps you could recommend something?’ And to his friend, ‘Or you, Tim. For I assume that is why you are secluded with my wife. So that you may talk books, without boring the rest of us.’ There was a touch of menace in her husband’s voice that she had never heard before.
‘Of course,’ Tim answered innocently. ‘For what other reason would one choose to be alone with such a lovely woman? Not making you jealous, am I?’
‘Do I have reason to be?’
‘I think I might have reason to be jealous of you. But that is between you and your wife. Good luck, old friend, as if you need any more. And goodnight.’ Tim let go of her hand, and rose to leave.
Adam watched him with suspicion. ‘Close the door behind you, please.’
He waited until his friend had gone down the hall and was out of earshot. And then he said without warning, ‘I will not let you cuckold me in my own home.’
‘Would you prefer that I do it elsewhere?’ She had almost laughed at the ridiculousness of it before she realised he was serious.
He did not raise his voice, but she could tell that his temper was barely contained. ‘You know what I meant. I would prefer not to have to kill a man over you. Especially not that one.’
‘Kill Tim? Adam, listen to yourself. Have you gone mad?’
She could hardly recognise the man before her, for his eyes were dark and his face more grim than she had ever seen it. ‘Do not be flip with me. If you do not set that young puppy straight, I will be forced to deal with him on the field of honour, the next time I wander in on the two of you.’
‘For holding my hand? That is rich, after what he has suffered from you.’
‘Which is another reason I do not wish to hurt him. He has not, as yet, done anything I cannot overlook. But I suspect it is only a matter of time before I will have reason to act. I beg you to stop it, to prevent me from having to do so.’
She rolled her eyes. ‘As if it would matter to you. From what I gather, in talking to your friends, the nobles of your acquaintance have the morals of cats in an alley. Not one wife amongst them is faithful, and all the husbands have mistresses.’
‘That is different,’ he answered.
‘I fail to see how. It is not as if we married for love, unless that is a mandatory precursor to the level of infidelity I have seen. Ours was a purely financial arrangement, and I thought we were of an understanding on the subject of sexual attachments. I told you it did not matter to me.’
‘And do you remember my saying, in response to you, that what you did would not matter to me? Because I did not. I was under the impression that while you intended for me to find a mistress to deal with my personal needs, you meant to stay home alone with a good book.’
‘So the situation is agreeable, so long as it benefits you and not me?’ she said.
‘I fail to see how it does, since I have not yet taken advantage of the liberties you seem so eager to allow me.’
She grew even more confused. ‘You have no mistress?’
‘Not at this time.’
‘Nor any other …’
‘No.’
‘Since we married, you have not—’
‘I said, no,’ he snapped.
‘I do not understand.’
‘Nor do I,’ he responded. ‘But that doesn’t mean I wish for you to take a lover after less than a month of marriage. You cannot expect me to sit idly by and do nothing about it.’
Her argument ran out of fuel, and her anger cooled. But his argument became no clearer. And so she said, ‘Your friends do not seem overly bothered by their wives’ conduct.’
‘My friends all have several children. Any inheritances or titles have been assured. Their wives have performed the duties, which you have expressed no interest in. They have earned latitude.’
‘And is that the only problem? You think that I encourage Timothy too soon?’
‘People will say that turnabout is fair play, and I am getting a taste of what I deserve. And they will question the legitimacy of my heir, should there be one, even if I do not.’
She smiled at the nonsense of it. ‘But I have no intention of getting myself with child.’
He shook his head. ‘You are wise in many things, but there is much you do not know. Let me try to explain. First, you understand that you do not get yourself with child, it is a collaborative effort.’
‘I do not plan to collaborate.’
He sighed. ‘If you have feelings for Timothy, or any one else, for that matter, these feelings could lead you to a place where collaboration is inevitable.’
‘I am not so easily led, Adam,’ she said.
He shook his head. ‘At one time, I thought I was as wise as you think you are now. A private conversation, a shared joke, the touch of a hand in friendship, or a waltz or two in public would lead to nothing. It was all innocent flirtation that I could stop before it got out of control. But considering our histories, you should sympathise with how easy it can be to respond poorly in the heat of the moment. And there is much heat in a forbidden kiss.’
He sank down on the couch, his head in his hands. ‘The next morning, I realised what I had done, and could not bring myself to look in the mirror. I was too ashamed. And that wasn’t the last time. I could not seem to stop it until I had driven myself near to ruin and hurt family and friends with the indiscretion.
‘And I am not as noble as my good friend Timothy, to be all understanding and forgiveness. Should he try to do to me what I did to him, I am more like to put a ball through him in the heat of anger than look quietly aside. I do not wish it to end thus.’ He looked up at her, in desperation. ‘If you truly prefer him to me, tell me now, and I will request the annulment that you once offered. Then you will be free to do as you like.’
‘I would make you pay back the money you have used,’ she countered.
‘You would have no right to do so. An annulment will make it as if you have never been married. Control of your estate would revert to your brother. I think he would consider the debts I incurred to be money well spent. The man would be more likely to kiss me than you would.’ He put his hand on hers. ‘I do not like Hector, and have no desire to aid him in controlling you, but neither will I allow you to shame me in public or destroy an already fragile friendship.’
She shook her head in amazement. She could not decide which was stranger: her husband’s jealous raving, or the twisted logic of the upper class. ‘So if any man speaks to me, you will be convinced that I am unfaithful, like all the other wives. And then you will corner me to rant, as you have tonight, although you have no reason.’
He gave her a sad smile, and nodded.
She continued. ‘And although in time you are likely to stray from me, I will be allowed no indiscretions at all, for you do not wish people to think that your heirs are illegitimate. You understand that there is no point in suspecting the legitimacy of your children until you have some?’
And now, he was looking at her with speculation. The silence drew out long between them.
‘But if you did, that would mean …’ Her pulse quickened in response. ‘Oh, no.’
‘We could remain unfortunately childless, I suppose. And celibate. And hope that my brother marries and produces. But that is a lot to assume. If there is any hint of infidelity on your part, annulment will continue to be an option.’
‘You mean to hold that over my head for the rest of our lives?’
‘If necessary.’ The intensity of his gaze grew. ‘Or we could try another way.’
Her pulse was racing now, as it began to occur to her that he was serious in what he was suggesting. ‘That was most definitely not part of the original bargain.’
‘When you planned to marry, you must have considered the possibility.’
Strangely, she had not. She had assumed it would be hard enough to get a man to the altar, and that any so doing would not be the least interested in sexual congress with her, if other opportunities presented themselves. But the need for succession had not been part of her plans. And now, Adam was looking at her in quite a different way than he did after political discussions in the study. He was looking at her as a woman, and she remembered what Tim had said to her.
