Kitabı oku: «To Night Owl From Dogfish»

For four very special young readers, who are destined to change the world: Audrey Bouttier, Annie October Weinberg, Hannah Devlin, and Alexis Lhotka

– H.G.S.

And for four wonderful readers I am so lucky to have in my world: Hilma Wolitzer, Devon Lawrence, and Cathy Binck & Nancy Wolitzer

– M.W.

CONTENTS

Cover

Title Page

Copyright

Dedication

ONE DAY IN EARLY APRIL

2 MONTHS LATER

THE VERY NEXT DAY

2 MONTHS LATER

2 MONTHS LATER

THREE MONTHS LATER

THE MORNING AFTER THE WEDDING

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

About the Author

From: Bett Devlin

To: Avery Bloom

Subject: you don’t know me

but I’m writing to you anyway. This could go into your SPAM. Maybe you’re the kind of person who checks the spam. I don’t. I found your email address online. You have a strange name. I never met anyone named Avery. But that made it easier to find you. So thank you for having that name. Also, thank you for going to a school that posts pictures of field trips + uses FirstName.LastName@TheShipfieldSchool.org + gives students their own email. I don’t go to that kind of school.

So this is awkward but I’m just going to say it. Your dad + my dad met 3 months ago in Chicago at a “building expo”, which was at the downtown Marriott. I’m not going to explain how I know but THEY ARE NOW A COUPLE.

That isn’t my business, only it IS my business because my dad wants to send me to a place called CIGI this summer.

I’ve never heard of CIGI. The website says: Challenge Influence Guide Inspire.

That was cut + pasted. Those words are how they got the name. CIGI is a SUMMER PROGRAMME IN MICHIGAN FOR “INQUISITIVE TWEENS ’N’ TEENS AGED 10–15”.

You could already be bored reading this email. But guess what? YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO GO TO CIGI, TOO.

I’m not going. It doesn’t matter what my dad says. But maybe if you won’t go to CIGI either it will stop him from trying to force me to go.

That’s what I was writing to you about.

Bett Devlin

From: Avery Bloom

To: Bett Devlin

Subject: Re: you don’t know me

I think you are confused and have the wrong person. If my papa was in a relationship with your dad, there is a one hundred per cent chance I would know about it. We’re very close, and it’s been just the two of us almost my whole life, so we’re best friends and he tells me everything.

As for my school, it’s helpful to have your own email so you can write to a teacher in the middle of the day to ask about a project. (Ms. Pickering sometimes responds in five minutes!) No one from outside my school community or family has ever found my email address before and written to me. The school might need to upgrade their privacy and security settings. I will post a note online.

About CIGI, my friend Callie Workman’s older sister went there last summer. I am signed up for the eight-week session. It’s kind of a creative-nerd camp. At CIGI you take classes called Bookin’ Around and Exotic Robotic, and you also do archaeology searches for real fossils in Dig This! Plus they have microwave popcorn at night for Shut-eye Cinema, where they show a foreign movie before bed, and everyone talks about it together looking for themes.

The best part is they don’t force you to do sports. I am not athletic and also I hate to swim. I have some “excessive worries”. (Eating expired foods, getting a disease, etc. But drowning is the biggest one.)

You will never have to go to CIGI. I’m the only one of us going there.

Avery A. Bloom

P.S. I’m twelve and I live in New York City. My papa is an architect. Even though you sent your email to the wrong person, I’m curious: How old are you and where exactly are you writing from?

From: Bett Devlin

To: Avery Bloom

Subject: Re: re: you don’t know me

I’m also 12 + I live in California. But I’ve been to New York City. It was the summer + really hot + CRAZY CROWDED. I felt sorry for the people there, but SUPER SORRY FOR THE ANIMALS.

My dad constructs swimming pools + fountains. Anything with water. He doesn’t design the stuff, he builds it. So your dad is an architect. Usually my dad is FIGHTING with architects.

You said your dad shares everything. Do you SEE your DAD’S TEXT MESSAGES? Every time my dad hears his phone PING he smiles, like ha-ha-ha, oh this guy just kills me.

I’ve been camping. LOTS of times. But I’ve never been sent to camp. We don’t have money for that. My dad wants me to go because of you.

He wants me to be your friend.

No offence, but that’s NOT something I’m going to do.

Bett Devlin

From: Avery Bloom

To: Bett Devlin

Subject: Re: re: re: you don’t know me

Bett –

How do I know you aren’t some kind of hacker from Ukraine (you don’t say The Ukraine, you just say Ukraine, which makes sense because you wouldn’t say The France) and this is all a scam to get me to reveal the details of my life so that you can drain my bank account or maybe something worse? It’s savings only, just so you know, and it’s for college.

I’m going to be very careful in answering your email.

I checked the Google calendar I share with my papa, and he was in Chicago in February at a building expo. But that proves nothing.

My papa is not here this weekend. He’s in San Antonio for work. Maybe I shouldn’t have said that. But just so you know, I’m not home alone. There is an adult here in the apartment with me. Plus this is a doorman building, and since a famous person lives upstairs (not that famous), they are always very careful with security.

I could text my papa right now and clear this up.

I’m going to do that because I’m not allowed to be communicating online with people I don’t know.

You won’t hear back from me because you have the wrong person and the wrong dad. Although you did have the right camp. But that’s some kind of weird coincidence.

Avery A. Bloom

From: Bett Devlin

To: Avery Bloom

Subject: Re: re: re: re: you don’t know me

It’s NOT a work trip to San Antonio. Your dad’s with my dad in Texas. My dad is not LYING to me but he IS STILL LYING. He told me he was going to see his mom. Her name is Betty. I’m named after her but I got rid of the y for obvious reasons.

Betty (I call her Gaga) lives in a small town 2 hours from San Antonio.

My DAD IS SO INTO YOUR DAD THAT HE WANTS THE ORIGINAL BETTY TO MEET HIM.

THIS IS SERIOUS!

Bett Devlin

From: Avery Bloom

To: Bett Devlin

Subject: Re: re: re: re: re: you don’t know me

I want you to know that I’ve sent a text to my papa and I haven’t heard back.

This is very unusual, but it doesn’t mean anything.

I also want to say that when you write in all capital letters it feels like you are yelling at me, and cyberbullying is a very important topic of our time.

And side note: You are lucky to have a grandma, even one who lives two hours from San Antonio (if that’s even something real). My family circle is very small. But that’s private information.

Avery A. Bloom

From: Bett Devlin

To: Avery Bloom

Subject: Re: re: re: re: re: re: you don’t know me

Just to make this equal, here is something private about my family while we WAIT FOR YOUR DAD TO RETURN A TEXT MESSAGE. I had 2 dads. But one died when I was little so I don’t remember him. For 11 years it’s just been me + my dad. It has to stay that way. We’ve got everything we need.

My dad’s never taken anyone to meet his mom since we lost Phillip.

Did your dad return your text? What’s he telling you?

Bett Devlin (not from Ukraine, but from THE VENICE, CALIFORNIA)

P.S. Here’s hoping we never meet in person.

From: Avery Bloom

To: Bett Devlin

Subject: Re: re: re: re: re: re: re: you don’t know me

Bett,

Ignore my last email. Here are the text messages:

ME: Papa, are you in Texas with a man from California visiting a woman named Betty?

No answer to this for two hours and eleven minutes.

ME: Papa, can you call me?

PAPA: Yes. I’ll call you in 10 mins.

ME: But you aren’t in Texas with a man who builds swimming pools. Right?

PAPA: I’m going to call you. 15 mins.

ME: OK. But do you have a new boyfriend? Yes or no?

He didn’t even answer, and he didn’t wait fifteen minutes.

He called.

They did meet, and they are now in some kind of relationship. I can’t believe he hadn’t told me, because we never have secrets. He said he was waiting for the right time, and also he wanted to be certain this was something real.

So I guess that’s more bad news. It’s something real.

Here’s an even worse part. They want us to get to know each other and become close like sisters (or maybe even twins because we’re the same age?) because it’s possible we might become a “family”. (I used quote marks around that word because that means I feel ironic about it.)

I told my papa we already were a family. And he said, “Well, I’d like us to be a bigger one.”

I would not like us to be a bigger one.

I’m going to tell him I changed my mind about going to CIGI this summer. Maybe I will just stay home and make my own fossils.

Thanks for the heads-up about everything. I hope we never meet, too.

Avery A. Bloom

From: Bett Devlin

To: Avery Bloom

Subject: Re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: you don’t know me

Avery –

While you were talking to your dad I called my dad + said I was in bad pain from an ear infection, which I do get from being in the water since I surf + you’re not supposed to be in the bay after it rains because of pollution. But I don’t always pay attention to that since the biggest waves are at the same time as the rain because the surf is affected by the storm.

Anyway, I was faking to see if he’d come home early from Texas. He said to take paracetamol + use the eardrops in the bathroom. He didn’t even ask to speak with Dee, who is staying here while he’s away.

I don’t want a bigger family, either. That’s WHY I WROTE TO YOU.

I also really don’t want a sister or a stepsister or a half sister or a FAKE TWIN or whatever you’d be.

Okay, here’s something else IMPORTANT that maybe your dad doesn’t know about my dad, but HE HAS A PEANUT ALLERGY. This can be super-dangerous + also it means he can’t go for Thai food. Which means your dad CAN NEVER GO FOR THAI FOOD, either. Because even if part of your dad’s fork touched a peanut-based sauce, my dad could be in trouble if he was close by because some people spit a little bit when they talk.

Feel free to tell your dad this. A lot of people really love Thai food.

Bett Devlin

From: Avery Bloom

To: Bett Devlin

Subject: Re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: you don’t know me

Bett –

I’m feeling sick. I’ve made mint tea and I’m going to lie down. It’s going to be really bad when I try to go to sleep tonight. I have trouble with that anyway. I’m sort of a night owl. I have blackout shades so I can make my bedroom very dark, and I also have a sound machine. I never use any of the water settings, but I can feel calmer by listening to “wind in the pines”.

Do you have a sound machine?

I will email you tomorrow after my papa is home.

We shouldn’t communicate between now and then for personal health reasons.

Avery A. Bloom

P.S. I want to be a writer, so I notice spelling and grammar in emails and books.

From: Bett Devlin

To: Avery Bloom

Subject: Re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: you don’t know me

Avery –

I like to read but I don’t have time to be a bookworm. Plus I’m not a great speller. I’m okay with that because Snoop Dog + a man named Churchill, who gets credit for the slogan that goes on shopping bags saying: KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON, were both bad spellers. So maybe Churchill first wrote it as KEYP COMM AND CAREY ON. We may never know.

Anyway, spelling happens in some tiny, speck part of the brain + it isn’t important in the world now because of spellcheck.

You said NOT to communicate, but I have to tell you one more thing. My dad goes by Marlow but his first name is really DOUGLAS. That’s why it’s D. Marlow Devlin.

So he changed his first name to his middle name + maybe if your dad thought of him as Doug he might not like him so much.

TELL YOUR DAD.

Bett Devlin

From: Avery Bloom

To: Bett Devlin

Subject: Re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: you don’t know me

Bett –

Just so you know, I am not a mean person, and in fact I was voted Most Thoughtful in my Father-Daughter Book Club because I never forget snacks, but also because I post online summaries of the books for the girls who don’t finish the material.

I want to say that your tone is harsh, especially when you write things like TELL YOUR DAD.

My papa came home this afternoon and I did tell him how your dad goes by his middle name.

Do you know what Papa did? He smiled and said, “I’m so glad you two are communicating! That’s a great start.”

Then it got even worse. He said: “I know his first name is Douglas. I know about the peanut problem, and how much he likes action movies, and that he once broke his ankle skydiving. Honey, I’m crazy about him. I think he’s ‘the one’.”

I mean, no offence to your dad or anything, but I’m “the one”!

Avery A. Bloom

From: Bett Devlin

To: Avery Bloom

Subject: Re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: you don’t know me

I’m glad you get it now. We have to do EVERYTHING TO STOP THIS. I’m ready on my end. We have a chalkboard in our kitchen + it’s to leave messages. I just erased “BUY BIN BAGS” + wrote in really big letters:

I’M NOT GOING TO CIGI THIS SUMMER! YOU CAN’T MAKE ME!

BETT DEVLIN

P.S. I’m “the one” here, too.

From: Avery Bloom

To: Bett Devlin

Subject: Re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: you don’t know me

Update.

After dinner my papa said, “Let’s go sit on Marshmallow Fluff.” Marshmallow Fluff is what we call the leather sofa in our den that is white and looks like a marshmallow. It was an Italian design mistake that my papa made a long time ago, and it couldn’t be returned because it was shipped to us from Rome.

Once we were sitting on Fluff, Papa took out a bag that was hidden in a drawer in the coffee table. He handed it to me, all excited.

Inside was a T-shirt. It had a picture of that famous sculpture by the French artist Auguste Rodin called The Thinker, the one where the guy is sitting with his hand on his knee. (Though it’s the wrong knee, some people say. No one could sit like that for very long. It would be too uncomfortable. You would get a bad cramp.) But this guy on the T-shirt is wearing a pair of sunglasses, and also a baseball cap that says CIGI.

“There are no refunds,” Papa said. “Just like when we bought Marshmallow Fluff. You are absolutely, positively going to CIGI. And so is Marlow’s kid. We requested that you two be podmates. Marlow is giving Bett her own T-shirt today.”

So any minute now (or maybe it already happened), your dad’s going to hand over a T-shirt with The Thinker in sunglasses.

No offence, but I think we would be really, really bad as podmates.

Avery

From: Bett Devlin

To: Avery Bloom

Subject: Re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: you don’t know me

Avery –

You don’t need to throw around “Auguste Rodin”. My school has an enrichment programme. My best friends Angel + Summer are BOTH doing it + I see their stuff. It’s really not that great.

My dad had a crisis with a bad boulder cracking open at a spa in Huntington Beach, so he left early this morning + I didn’t see him. But I was thinking about Camp CIGI so much that I fell off the balance beam in PE, which is my favourite part of the school day. Our unit right now is gymnastics. I’m the best in the class, so falling off is not something that happens. I like gymnastics almost as much as I like skateboarding. Do you skateboard?

So I’m getting a T-shirt??? That’s how I’m supposed to know my dad paid for a sleepaway camp named CIGI?

WHAT IS HAPPENING?

A not good thing about having only 1 parent is that I need someone on my side when something big like this takes place. My dad + Phillip (who died) got a woman from Brazil to be a surrogate + carry me inside her for 9 months. So I’m half-Brazilian but I don’t have a Brazilian passport, which isn’t fair. I never met her, so I can’t get her on my side now.

Dad (+ Phillip) used a service + she was paid, so it was a work situation, which is more legal or something. Also, just so you know, D. Marlow Devlin is my biological father (not Phillip). He’s African American. So am I. Phillip wasn’t African American. I saw your picture so I know you’re not African American.

Phillip was from New Mexico, but his parents were from Old Mexico. I don’t remember him saying that, but it’s one of those things that Dad + I repeat. I’m proud to be a person of colour (POC).

You said you want to be a writer but how do you even know that already?

I know that I don’t want to be a dentist or work indoors all day.

Here’s something else I know I don’t want to do. GO TO CAMP CIGI.

Also – which do you like better, cats or dogs?

Bett Devlin

From: Avery Bloom

To: Bett Devlin

Subject: Re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: you don’t know me

We should not be discussing personal things. But I’m not from a surrogate. I don’t share my origin story with anyone because there is a cone of privacy around this topic. It’s a really big cone.

Dentists are very important in the world and they must be respected.

If you only want to work outside, that eliminates a lot of jobs. But you should know that writers can write outside, too. Like on a patio under an adjustable canvas umbrella. I write outside when my dad and I go away on weekends.

I know there’s a difference between ethnicity, race, and culture, but it’s confusing. My papa’s Caucasian and Jewish, and he did 23andMe, where you send your spit to them and they tell you about your ancestors. My papa found out his ancestors are from Ukraine (not The Ukraine). I don’t discuss anything on my mom’s side.

I don’t have very much experience with animals. I’m actually afraid of dogs. But even though they scare me I have to admit some of them can be very cute. So I like to look at the cute ones, only from far away.

A big dog once jumped up on me in Central Park when I was very young, and it knocked me to the ground and bit me on the lip. Dr Glossman thinks that this came at an important time in my development.

Avery A. Bloom

From: Bett Devlin

To: Avery Bloom

Subject: Re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: you don’t know me

Okay, you should know we have two dogs. Junie + Raisin. We also have a cat, but we share her with the neighbours so it’s not fair to say that Prunie is just mine. She also belongs to the Cerronis. She has a collar with both of our telephone numbers but no name tag.

Junie + Raisin are rescue dogs. Raisin came from a “negative environment”. We don’t know what actually happened, but she growls at a lot of people + 3 different times she tried to bite any man (except my dad) in leather work boots.

Do you or your dad own leather work boots?

I guess they are a trigger for Raisin.

Bett Devlin

From: Avery Bloom

To: Bett Devlin

Subject: Re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: you don’t know me

I don’t own leather work boots. Can you send me a picture of your dogs? (If they are cute.) You don’t need to send one of your cat.

I won’t ever see your dogs in person. Dr Glossman doesn’t want me around them (especially large ones) so that really seals off the possibility of us ever living together in California or in our Upper West Side apartment.

Unless of course your dad gave away your dogs, which would be incredibly cruel of him, so forget I even said that. You said you skateboard and surf. Does this mean you live at the beach? I think the ocean is beautiful, but also very scary because it’s so unpredictable and I’m afraid of drowning.

You’re more likely to die in water than in any natural disaster (including all weather-related storm activity).

Most people don’t know that fact.

Avery A. Bloom

From: Bett Devlin

To: Avery Bloom

Subject: Re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: you don’t know me

I go to the beach almost every day. We live 18 blocks from the pier in a small church in Venice, California. Only it’s not a church anymore. My dad bought it + everyone thought he would tear it down. But he didn’t.

We don’t have a garage. My surfboards go out back against the fence.

There are rumors that GHOSTS live here (Is one of your “excessive fears” the spirit world?) since there were a lot of dead people in this place when it was a church. I’m not making that up. They had funerals all the time.

Also, the reason no one wanted the old church was because there is a drug clinic on the same block + people don’t want to live by that. What they don’t know is that the drug addict people are very nice + they are trying to get help. It’s wrong to be afraid of them.

But I don’t want to get into anything personal with you because I really don’t know you at all.

Here’s a picture of Raisin + Junie. They are both amazingly cute. Raisin is the one with all the black spots on her back.

Bett

From: Avery Bloom

To: Bett Devlin

Subject: Re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: you don’t know me

Bett,

Your dogs are incredibly cute. Can Junie actually hear through the hole where her ear should be? Assuming that’s a hole. It’s hard to tell because of the two bandannas.

Avery

From: Bett Devlin

To: Avery Bloom

Subject: Re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: you don’t know me

My dog Junie hears fine. Her ear flap is missing from an accident. It might have been a fight. We can’t know.

So my dad didn’t make a big deal about the camp T-shirt. I just FOUND IT in my drawer yesterday. I cut it into three pieces + put it in our rag box. I told my dad again I’M NOT GOING TO CIGI + YOU CAN’T MAKE ME.

He didn’t say anything. But I went online today + his Expedia account shows he got me a flight to Michigan!

WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM?!?!? Why isn’t he listening to me? He’s always always always been a good listener. Then he met your dad + now he can’t hear me.

It’s like he suddenly built up gobs of earwax. Or else he has really bad swimmer’s ear.

Bett

From: Avery Bloom

To: Bett Devlin

Subject: Re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: you don’t know me

Bett,

I think people sometimes go crazy when they’re in love. The chemistry in their bodies changes and they do dumb things. Usually this is listening to the same song all the time, or having awkward names for each other. But in this case it means forcing their daughters to go to the same camp and live in a pod together, which really would be a horrible situation that could end in tragedy.

If they somehow make us go to Michigan despite everything we’re doing to block this, one suggestion is that you could act like you’re falling apart as soon as you get there. In the modern world, anxiety is increasingly affecting young people. That was a headline in my school’s Weekly Blast to Parents. I think it was an inappropriate article because it only made me feel even more anxiety.

If we have to go to camp the plan should be for one of us to leave right away. It would be better if it were you instead of me, because as you know I was actually interested in going to CIGI before all this stuff happened with our dads.

Also, a question: How do two people even have a relationship when they live 3,000 miles apart? Doesn’t that mean it’s all in their heads?

How do we get it out of their heads?

Here is another question, but don’t feel like you have to answer: Have you ever had a boyfriend, or a girlfriend if you are gay and know that about yourself already?

I liked Kyle Shapiro last year but it didn’t go anywhere. So I don’t have any experience in this department.

Avery

From: Bett Devlin

To: Avery Bloom

Subject: Re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: you don’t know me

Last year Zander Barton thought he was my boyfriend + he told everyone, but he was making that up. Holding someone’s hand 4 times doesn’t mean a relationship. Neither does keeping someone’s hoodie, which was a present. But that sweatshirt is way cool + I’m not giving it back.

I like boys. I’ve always liked boys. My dad always says he doesn’t care who I love as long as I’m happy. Only that was back when he CARED about me being happy.

This kid Robbie Lambert surfs down by the pier + it’s weird, because he’s in my dreams all the time. He just keeps showing up.

He’s 2 years older than me so I don’t talk to him. Plus I think he already has a girlfriend but that can’t last forever.

Bett

From: Avery Bloom

To: Bett Devlin

Subject: Re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: you don’t know me

Once people know my dad’s gay, they assume he’s married to another man, and I’m being raised by two dads. I’d like to make a bumper sticker that says: YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE MARRIED TO BE A GAY DAD. Not everyone in this world has to be in twos. It’s not Noah’s Ark. Single parents do a great job, in my experience.

I’ve never been to a wedding. Have you been to a wedding? My friend Mia Jablonsky was a flower girl once. But we shouldn’t even be thinking about that because a wedding is never going to happen.

We’re going to make sure of it.

Avery

From: Bett Devlin

To: Avery Bloom

Subject: Re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: you don’t know me

DO NOT EVEN WRITE THE WORD “WEDDING”. Ever. I think it’s a trigger for me. Until now I didn’t think I had triggers.

Tonight I told my dad I was going on a hunger strike because of camp. Then he drove to Honey Kettle in Culver City to get takeout for our dinner. This is one of my favourite places.

I didn’t eat any of the food until much later, when he was out of the room + it was cold. But it was STILL really good. I’m going to need a new plan because the hunger strike thing won’t work.

Bett

P.S. If you could be ANY ANIMAL, which one would you choose?

From: Avery Bloom

To: Bett Devlin

Subject: Re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: you don’t know me

Just FYI: At CIGI the kids live in pods of eight girls. There are three pods for girls our age. But maybe we won’t even be put together. I’d write “fingers crossed” but it’s unnecessary because we aren’t going to be mean girls.

If we really do have to go to this camp, we will just never speak to each other, which shouldn’t be hard because we don’t have anything in common and we don’t know each other at all.

I guess if I could be any animal it would be a night owl. (I know that isn’t actually a specific kind of owl, but you know what I mean.) I do a lot of reading at night when I’m supposed to be asleep, but that’s not the worst thing in the world. Good sleep hygiene is important. That means no screens in bed at night, but books are okay. Also, I wear glasses and for some reason they put glasses on cartoon drawings of owls. (And sometimes they put those graduation caps on them, but that’s not what we’re talking about.)