Kitabı oku: «Double Harness», sayfa 16
CHAPTER XVIII
THE RISING GENERATION
The Raymores were holding up their heads again – such good reports came from Buenos Ayres. The head of Charley's department had written a letter to Raymore, speaking highly of the lad's good conduct and ability, and promising him early promotion. Raymore showed it to Kate, and she read it with tears in her eyes.
"You see he's going to give him a holiday at Christmas, and let him spend a month with us," said Raymore, pointing out a passage in the letter.
"Come on a visit, he says." She looked up with a questioning glance.
Raymore understood the question.
"Yes, my dear," he said gently. "He'll pay us a visit – many visits, I hope – but his career must lie over there. That's inevitable, and best on all grounds, I think." He came and took her hand, adding, "We must be brave about that."
"I'll try," said Kate.
She knew that was the penalty which must be paid. Over here the past would never be utterly buried. Charley would never be quite safe from it. He must buy safety and a fresh start at the price of banishment. His mother faced the bitter conclusion.
"We must make the most of the visits," she sighed. "And, yes, I will be brave."
"We must give him a splendid time while he's with us," said Raymore, and kissed her. "You've been fine about it," he whispered: "keep it up."
The penalty was high, or seemed so to a mother, but the banishment was not all evil. The boy's absence united them as his presence had never done. At home he had been an anxiety often, and sometimes a cause of distress to them. All that was gone now. He was a bond of union, and nothing else. And his own love for them came out. When he was with them, a lad's shamefacedness, no less than the friction of everyday life, had half hidden it. His heart spoke out now from across the seas; he wrote of home with longing; it seemed to grow something holy to him. He recounted artlessly the words of praise and the marks of confidence he had won; he was pleading that they made him worthy to pay his Christmas visit home. Whenever his letters came, Raymore and Kate had a good talk together over them; the boy's open heart opened their hearts also to one another – yes, and to Eva too. They paid more attention to Eva, and were quicker to understand her growth, to see how she reached forward to womanhood, and to be ready to meet her on this new ground. She responded readily, with the idea that she must do all she could to lighten the sorrow and to make Charley's absence less felt. In easy-going times people are apt to be reserved. The trouble and the worry broke up the crust which had formed over their hearts. All of them – even the boy so far away – were nearer together.
This softened mood and the gentler atmosphere which reigned in the Raymores' household, had its effect on Jeremy Chiddingfold's fortunes. It caused both Kate and Raymore to look on at his proceedings with indulgence. They were constantly asking themselves whether they had not been too strict with Charley, and whether the calamity might not have been prevented if they had encouraged him to confide in them more, and to bring his difficulties to them. They were nervously anxious to make no such mistake in regard to Eva. They were even in a hurry to recognise that Eva must consider herself – and therefore be considered – a young woman. A pretty young woman, to boot! And what did pretty young women like – and attract? Eva was not repressed; she was encouraged along her natural path. And it was difficult to encourage Eva without encouraging Jeremy too – that at least was Kate Raymore's opinion, notwithstanding that she had been made the repository of the great secret about Dora Hutting. "A boy and girl affair!" she called it once to Raymore, and made no further reference to it.
Kate was undoubtedly in a sentimental mood; the small number and the distant advent of the hundreds a year from the dyeing works did not trouble her. Half unconsciously, in the sheer joy of giving Eva pleasure, in the delight of seeing her girl spread her wings, she threw the young folk together, and marked their mutual attraction with furthering benevolence.
"We've been happy, after all," she said to Raymore; "and I should like to see Eva happily settled too."
"No hurry!" he muttered: "she's a child still."
"Oh, my dear!" said Kate, with a smile of superior knowledge; fathers were always like that.
Eva exulted in the encouragement and the liberty, trying her wings, essaying her power with timid tentative flights. Yet she remained very young; her innocence and guilelessness did not leave her. She did not seek to shine, she did not try to flirt. She had not Anna Selford's self-confidence, nor her ambition. Still, she was a young woman, and since Jeremy was very often at hand, and seemed to be a suitable subject, she tried her wings on him. Then Kate Raymore would nod secretly and significantly at her husband. She also observed that Eva was beginning to show a good deal of character. This might be true in a sense, since all qualities go to character, but it was hardly true in the usual sense. Christine Fanshaw used always to say that Eva was as good as gold – and there she would leave the topic, without further elaboration.
Well, that was the sort of girl Jeremy liked! He saw in himself now a man of considerable experience. Had he not grown up side by side with Sibylla, her whims and her tantrums? Had he not watched the development of Anna Selford's distinction, and listened to her sharp tongue? Had he not cause to remember Dora Hutting's alternate coquettishness and scruples, the one surely rather forward (Jeremy had been revising his recollections), the other almost inhuman? Reviewing this wide field of feminine variety, Jeremy felt competent to form a valid judgment; and he decided that gentleness, trustfulness, and fidelity were what a man wanted. He said as much to Alec Turner, who told him, with unmeasured scorn, that his ideas were out of date and sadly retrograde.
"You want a slave," said Alec witheringly.
"I want a helpmeet," objected Jeremy.
"Not you! A helpmeet means an equal – an intellectual equal," Alec insisted hotly. He was hot on a subject which did not seem necessarily to demand warmth because he too had decided what he wanted. He had fallen into a passion which can be described only as unscrupulous. He wanted to marry clever, distinguished, brilliant Anna Selford – to marry her at a registry office and take her to live on two pounds a week (or thereabouts) in two rooms up two pairs of stairs in Battersea. Living there, consorting with the people who were doing the real thinking of the age, remote from the fatted bourgeoisie, she would really be able to influence opinion and to find a scope for her remarkable gifts and abilities. He sketched this ménage in an abstract fashion, not mentioning the lady's name, and was much annoyed when Jeremy opined that he "wouldn't find a girl in London to do it."
"Oh, as for you, I know you're going to become a damned plutocrat," Alec said, with a scornful reference to the dyeing works.
"Rot!" remarked Jeremy, but he was by no means so annoyed at being accused of becoming a damned plutocrat as he would have been a year earlier, before he had determined to seek speedy riches and fame in order to dazzle Dora Hutting, and when he had not encountered the gentle admiring eyes of Eva Raymore. Whatever else plutocrats (if we may now omit the epiphetus ornans) may or may not do in the economy and service of the commonwealth, they can at least give girls they like fine presents, and furnish beautiful houses (and fabrics superbly dyed) for their chosen wives. There are, in short, mitigations of their lot, and possibly excuses for their existence.
Jeremy's state of mind may easily be gauged. The dye works were prominent, but the experience of life was to the front too. He was working hard – and had his heart in his play besides. For his age it was a healthy, and a healthily typical, existence. The play part was rich in complications not unpleasurable. The applause of large admiring brown eyes is not a negligible matter in a young man's life. There was enough of the old Jeremy surviving to make the fact that he was falling in love seem enough to support an excellent theory on the subject. But on the other hand he had meant the fame and riches for Dora Hutting – to dazzle her anyhow – whether to satisfy or to tantalise her had always been a moot point. In imagination Jeremy had invariably emerged from the process of making wealth and fame either unalterably faithful or indelibly misogynistic, Dora being the one eternal woman, though she might be proved unworthy. It had never occurred to him that he should label the fame and riches to another address. To be jilted may appear ludicrous to the rest of the world, but the ardent mind of the sufferer contrives to regard it as tragic. A rapid transference of affection tends to impair the dignity of the whole matter. Still, large brown admiring eyes will count – especially if one meets them every day. Jeremy was profoundly puzzled about himself, and did not suppose that just this sort of thing had ever occurred before.
Then a deep sense of guilt stole over him. Was he trifling with Eva? He hoped not. But of course there is no denying that the idea of trifling with girls has its own attractions at a certain age. At any rate to feel that you might – and could – is not altogether an unpleasing sensation. However Jeremy's moral sense was very strong – the stronger (as he was in the habit of assuring Alec Turner) for being based on pure reason and the latest results of sociology. Whenever Eva had been particularly sweet and admiring, he felt that he ought not to go to Buckingham Gate again until he had put his relations with Dora Hutting on an ascertained basis. He would knit his brow then, and decline to be enticed from his personal problems by Alec's invitations to general discussion. At this stage of his life he grew decidedly more careful about his dress, not aiming at smartness, but at a rich and sober effect. And all the while he started for Romford at eight in the morning. He was leading a very fine existence.
"These are very roseate hues, Kate," Christine Fanshaw observed with delicate criticism as she sipped her tea. Kate had been talking about Eva and hinting benevolently about Jeremy.
"Oh, the great trouble's always behind. No, it's not so bad now, thank heaven! But if only he could come back for good! I'm sure we want roseate hues!"
"I daresay we do," said Christine, drawing nearer the fire. It was autumn now, and she was always a chilly little body.
"Look at those wretched Courtlands! And somehow I don't believe that Grantley's marriage has been altogether successful."
She paused a moment, and there had been a questioning inflection in her voice; but Christine made no comment.
"For myself I can't complain – "
"And you won't get anything out of me, Kate."
"But we do want the young people to – to give us the ideal back again."
"I suppose the old people have always thought the young people were going to do that. And they never do. They grow into old people – and then the men drink, or the women run away, or something."
"No, no," Kate Raymore protested. "I won't believe it, Christine. There's always hope with them, anyhow. They're beginning with the best, anyhow!"
"And when they find it isn't the best?"
"You're – you're positively sacrilegious!"
"And you're disgracefully sentimental."
She finished her tea and sat back, regarding her neat boots.
"Walter Blake's back in town," she went on.
"He's been yachting, hasn't he?"
"Yes, for nearly two months. I met him at the Selfords'."
A moment's pause followed.
"There was some talk – " began Kate Raymore tentatively.
"It was nonsense. There's some talk about everybody."
Kate laughed.
"Oh, come, speak for yourself, Christine."
"The Imasons are down in the country."
"And Walter Blake's in town? Ah, well!" Kate sighed thankfully.
"In town – and at the Selfords'." She spoke with evident significance.
Kate raised her brows.
"Well, it can't be Janet Selford, can it?" smiled Christine.
"I think he's a dangerous man."
"Yes – he's so silly."
"You do mean – Anna?"
"I've said all I mean, Kate. Anna has come on very much of late. I've dressed her, you know."
"Oh, that you can do!"
"That's why I'm such a happy woman. Teach Eva to dress badly!"
Again Kate's brows rose in remonstrance or question.
"Oh, no, I don't mean it, of course. What would be the good, when most men don't know the difference?"
"You're certainly a good corrective to idealism."
"I ought to be. Well, well, Anna can look after herself."
"It isn't as if one positively knew anything against him."
"One might mind one's own business, even if one did," Christine observed.
"Oh, I don't quite agree with you there. If one saw an innocent girl – "
"Eva? Oh, you mothers!"
"I suppose I was thinking of her. Christine, did Sibylla ever – ?"
"Not the least, I believe," said Christine with infinite composure.
"It's no secret Walter Blake did."
"Are there any secrets?" asked Christine. "It'd seem a pity to waste anything by making a secret of it. One can always get a little comfort by thinking of the pleasure one's sins have given. It's really your duty to your neighbour to be talked about. You know Harriet Courtland's begun her action? There'll be no defence, I suppose?"
"Has she actually begun? How dreadful! Poor Tom! John tried to bring her round, didn't he?"
A curious smile flickered on Christine's lips. "Yes, but that didn't do much good to anybody."
"She flew out at him, I suppose?"
"So I understood." Christine was smiling oddly still.
"And what will become of those unhappy children?"
"They have their mother. If nature makes mistakes in mothers, I can't help it, Kate."
"Is she cruel to them?"
"I expect so – but I daresay it's not so trying as a thoroughly well-conducted home."
"Really it's lucky you've no children," laughed Kate.
"Really it is, Kate, and you've hit the truth," Christine agreed.
Kate Raymore looked at the pretty and still youthful face, and sighed.
"You're too good really to say that."
Christine shrugged her shoulders impatiently.
"Perhaps I meant lucky for the children, Kate," she smiled.
"And I suppose it means ruin to poor Tom? Well, he's been very silly. I met him with the woman myself."
"Was she good-looking?"
"As if I noticed! Why, you might be a man! Besides it was only decent to look away."
"Yes, one looks on till there's a row – and then one looks away. I suppose that's Christianity."
"Now really, I must beg you, Christine – "
"Well, Eva's not in the room, is she, Kate?"
"You're quite at your worst this afternoon." She came and touched her friend's arm lightly. "Are you unhappy?"
"Don't! It's your business to be good and sympathetic – and stupid," said Christine, wriggling under her affectionate touch.
"But John's affairs are ever so much better, aren't they?"
"Yes, ever so much. It's not John's affairs. It's – Good gracious, who's this?"
Something like a tornado had suddenly swept into the room. It was Jeremy in a state of high excitement. He had a letter in his hand, and rushed up to Kate Raymore, holding it out. At first he did not notice Christine.
"I've had a letter from Sibylla – " he began excitedly.
"Any particular news?" asked Christine quickly.
"Oh, I beg your pardon, Mrs. Fanshaw! I – I didn't see you." His manner changed. Christine's presence evidently caused him embarrassment. "No; no particular news. It's – it's not about her, I mean."
"I'll go if you like, but I should dearly like to hear." She looked imploringly at Jeremy; she was thinking that after all he was a very nice boy.
"Give me the letter, Jeremy. Show me the place," said Kate Raymore.
Jeremy did as she bade him, and stood waiting with eager eyes. Christine made no preparations for going; she thought that with a little tact she might contrive to stay and hear the news. She was not mistaken.
"Dora Hutting engaged!" said Kate, with a long breath.
Jeremy nodded portentously.
"Good gracious me!" murmured Kate.
"To a curate – a chap who's a curate," said Jeremy. His tone was full of meaning.
"Wasn't she always High Church?" asked Christine sympathetically.
"Why, you never knew her, Mrs. Fanshaw?"
"No, but most curates are High Church now, aren't they?"
"It's very curious, isn't it, Jeremy?" asked Mrs. Raymore. "Met him at her aunt's, I see Sibylla says."
Jeremy stood before the fire with knitted brows. "Yes, at her aunt's," he repeated thoughtfully.
"Why is it curious, Kate?"
"Oh, you know nothing about it, Christine."
"I'm trying to learn – if Mr. Chiddingfold would only tell me."
"It's nothing. It's – it's just a girl I used to know, Mrs. Fanshaw."
"Ah, those girls one used to know, Mr. Chiddingfold!"
Jeremy laughed – he laughed rather knowingly.
"And she's consoled herself?" pursued Christine.
"Oh, come now, I say, Mrs. Fanshaw!"
"It's no use trying to be serious with her, Jeremy. We'll read all about it when she's gone."
"Yes, all right. But to think – ! Well, I'm dining here, aren't I?"
"Oh, yes," said Christine reassuringly.
"Christine, you're very impertinent. Yes, of course, Jeremy, and we'll discuss it then. Why don't you find Eva? She's in the library, I think."
"Oh, is she? Then I – I might as well, mightn't I?" He spoke listlessly, almost reluctantly. And he did not leave the room by a straight path, but drifted out of it with an accidental air, fingering a book or two and a nick-nack or two on his devious way. Christine's eyes followed his erratic course with keen amusement.
"You wicked woman!" she said to Kate as the door closed. "You might have given him one afternoon to dedicate to the memory of Miss Dora – what was her name?"
"She was the rector's daughter down at Milldean. Well, I'm really glad. I fancy she was a flighty girl, Christine."
"Oh dear me, I hope not," said Christine gravely. "What an escape for the poor dear boy!"
"You shan't put me out of temper," beamed Kate Raymore.
"I should think not, when your machinations are triumphing!"
"He's too nice a boy to be thrown away. And I don't think he was quite happy about it."
"I don't suppose he deserved to be."
"And now he can – "
"Oh, I won't hear any more about it! As it is, I've heard a lot more than anybody meant me to, I suppose." She got up. "I must go home," she said, with a little frown. "I'm glad I came. I like you and your silly young people, Kate."
"Oh, no, stay a little," Kate begged. "I want to ask you about a frock for Eva."
Christine was glad to talk about frocks – it was the craft whereof she was mistress – and glad too to stay a little longer at the Raymores'. There was youth in the air there, and hope. The sorrow that was gradually lifting seemed still to enrich by contrast the blossoming joy of the young lives which had their centre there. Her chaff covered so keen a sympathy that she could not safely do anything except chaff. The thought of the different state of things which awaited her at home did as much to make her linger as her constitutional dislike of leaving a cheery fire for the dreary dusk outside. Once she was near confiding the whole truth to Kate Raymore, so sore a desire had she for sympathy. But in the end her habit of reticence won the day, and she refused to betray herself, just as she had declined to be false to Sibylla's secret. What would Kate Raymore do for her? To speak of her trouble would only be to cast a shadow over the joy of a friendly heart.
When she did go, chance tempted her to a very mean action, and she fell before the temptation without the least resistance. The lights were not yet turned up on the staircase or in the hall, and Christine, left by her own request to find her way downstairs, found the library door open – it gave on to the hall. The room was not lighted either, except by a bright fire. She saw two figures sitting by the fire, and drew back into the gloom of the hall with a smile on her lips.
Eva was wondering at Jeremy. Of course he had said nothing of the news to her; indeed she knew nothing explicit of Dora Hutting – she had heard only a hint or two from her mother. But this evening there was a difference in Jeremy. Hitherto an air of hesitation had hung about him; when he had said anything – well, anything rather marked – he would often retreat from it, or smooth it down, or give it some ordinary (and rather disappointing) explanation in the next sentence. He alternated between letting himself go and bringing himself up with a jerk. This demeanour had its interesting side for Eva, but it had also been rather disquieting; sometimes it had seemed almost to rebuke her for listening to the first sentence without displeasure, since the first had been open to the interpretation which the second so hastily disclaimed. In fact Jeremy's conscience had kept interposing remarks between the observations of another faculty in Jeremy. The result had not been homogeneous. Conscience spoils love-making; it should either let it alone, or in the proper cases prevent it altogether.
This evening things had changed. His chagrin and his relief – his grudge against Dora and her curate, and his sense of recovered liberty – joined forces. He did not let the grass grow under his feet. He engaged in the primeval art of courting without hesitation or reserve. His eyes spoke in quick glances, his fingers sought excuses for transient touches. He criticised Eva, obviously meaning praise where with mock audacity he ventured on depreciation. Eva had been sewing embroidery; Jeremy must have the process explained, and be shown how to do it. To be sure, it was rather dark – they had to lean down together to get the firelight. His fingers were very awkward indeed, and needed a lot of arranging. Eva's clear laugh rang out over this task, and Jeremy pretended to be very much hurt. Then, suddenly, Eva saw a line on his hand, and had to tell him what it meant. They started on palmistry, and Jeremy enjoyed himself immensely. The last Christine saw was when he had started to tell Eva's fortune, and was holding her hand in his, inventing nonsense, and not inventing it very well.
Well or ill, what did it matter? Old or new, it mattered less. The whole thing was very old, the process as well ascertained as the most primitive method ever used in Jeremy's dyeing works. "Poor children!" breathed Christine, as she stole softly away towards the hall door. She could not stand there and look on and listen any more. Not because to listen was mean, but because it had become intolerable. She was ready to sob as she let herself out silently from the house of love into the chilly outer air. She left them to their pleasure, and set her face homewards. But her mind and her heart were full of what she had seen – of the beauty and the pity of it; for must not the beauty be so short-lived? Had not she too known the rapture of that advancing flood of feeling – yes, though the flood flowed where it should not? How the memories came back – and with what mocking voices they spoke! Well had it been for her to stand outside and look. For of a surety never again might she hope to enter in.
A man came full beneath the light of a street-lamp. It was a figure she could never forget nor mistake. It was Frank Caylesham. He saw her, and raised his hat, half-stopping, waiting her word to stop. She gave an involuntary little cry, almost hysterical.
"Fancy meeting you just now!" she gasped.
