Kitabı oku: «Miracle Under The Mistletoe», sayfa 2

CHAPTER THREE

IT WAS WELL after seven a.m. before Sean finally left the unit. Although he had been due to leave at six there had been a last-minute rush which had held everyone up, not that he minded. As he made his way to the staff car park, he deliberately set about erasing the night’s events from his mind. There was no point dwelling on what Molly had said about how quickly she had got over him. And definitely no point wondering why he had felt so hurt when he had heard it. He had learned through experience that it was best not to examine his feelings in too much depth. No, they had called a truce and that was it. End of story.

Sean sighed as he unlocked his car and got in, all too aware how shallow it made him appear to take such a view. However, as he couldn’t think of a better approach, he had to go along with it. There was a film of ice covering the windscreen and he switched on the engine to clear it. There were a lot of night staff leaving at the same time and he recognised several people from the last time he had worked at Dalverston.

He had enjoyed his stint here, he mused as he waited for the ice to melt. There was a strong community feel about the hospital, plus it was situated in such a glorious part of the country. He knew that they were desperately in need of a permanent registrar to fill the vacancy in A&E and was seriously tempted to apply for the post himself. He would enjoy living and working here full-time.

The thought shocked him, mainly because it was the first time that he had seriously considered taking a permanent post. After Claire had died so tragically in that road accident, he had found it impossible to settle. He had signed on with a leading medical agency and taken only short-term contracts ever since. Two months here, six months there; it had been exactly what he had wanted. To suddenly discover that his peripatetic lifestyle had started to pall was a shock and not a pleasant one either, especially when it was the thought of working here that had triggered it. It would be asking for trouble if he remained in Dalverston. Working with Molly, day in and day out, would be far too much for him to handle.

As though thinking about her had somehow conjured her up, Molly suddenly appeared. Sean felt his heart and what felt like the rest of his vital organs scrunch up inside him as he watched her walk over to her car. She had parked in the row behind him and he studied her reflection in his rear-view mirror. She looked weary, only to be expected after the busy night they’d had, but was that the only reason for the defeated slump to her shoulders? Or had it anything to do with him? Had she found it a strain to work with him after what had happened between them in the past? Even though there was little he could do about it, he hated to think that he was the cause of her unhappiness. Out of all the women he had dated since Claire had died, Molly was the only one he had truly cared about.

Molly slid the key into the lock and opened the car door. Picking up the can of de-icer, she squirted a generous dollop onto the frosty windscreen. She hated winter, hated the fact that she couldn’t just get in her car and drive away. There was no point pretending—working with Sean had been an ordeal, one she wished with every scrap of her being that she wouldn’t have to repeat, but there was no hope of that, was there? He was covering the entire Christmas and New Year period which meant he would be around for at least six weeks and probably longer if the management team could persuade him to stay on. Finding cover over the festive period was always difficult as most locums wanted to be with their families at this time of the year. There were very few with Sean’s skills and experience willing to relocate.

Molly tucked the can under the passenger seat, trying not to think about the problems it could cause if she had to see Sean on a daily basis. Slipping the key into the ignition, she attempted to start the engine, only to be rewarded by a nasty grunting noise. She tried again with the same result. The battery, always dodgy, was completely flat. Brilliant! Now she would have to catch the bus, which was just what she needed after the night she’d had.

‘Problems?’

Molly almost jumped out of her skin when her car door opened. She had no idea where Sean had appeared from and found it impossible to reply. He gave her a quick smile as leant into the car to try starting the engine himself.

‘Sounds like a flat battery to me,’ he declared when he received the same response. Resting his forearm against the roof of the car, he grinned down at her. ‘They always go at the worst possible moment, don’t they?’

It was the sort of comment anyone might have made in such circumstances, so Molly had no idea why she reacted as she did. ‘Thank you, but I did manage to work that out for myself! Now, if you’ll move aside …’

She gave the door a hefty push to fully open it, not even flinching when it caught him a glancing blow on his hip. It was his own fault for poking his nose in again where it wasn’t wanted, she assured herself as she lifted her bag off the passenger seat. She didn’t need his help. She didn’t want anything to do with him. Quite frankly, if he disappeared in a puff of smoke it would make her day!

Slamming the car door, she started walking towards the gate, wondering how long it would be before a bus came along. She lived on the other side of the town and it took forever by bus, which was why she had saved up for a car.

She was just nearing the gate when she saw her bus coming along the road and started to run, but it was difficult to make much progress thanks to the frosty conditions underfoot. She groaned as she was forced to watch it drive away. She would have to wait at least half an hour before another came along.

‘Hop in. I’ll give you a lift.’ Sean drew up beside her but Molly shook her head.

‘No, thank you. I prefer to wait for the next bus,’ she said snippily.

‘Are you sure?’ He shrugged, his broad shoulders moving lightly beneath his heavy quilted jacket, and Molly gulped. Sean had always possessed the most wonderful physique and it seemed little had changed in that respect. He had gone running when they had been seeing each other, setting off early each morning so he could fit in a run before work.

How many times had he come back from one of those runs and persuaded her to take a shower with him? she wondered suddenly. She had no idea but the memory of those times seemed to flood her mind. They had made love in the shower, their desire heightened by the sensuous feel of the hot water cascading over their naked bodies, and then followed it up by making love all over again in her bed. She had never realised that lovemaking could feel like that, had never experienced desire on such a level before. It was Sean who had taught her what it could be like. Only Sean who could make her feel that way again too.

The thought was too much. It made a mockery of all the plans she had made about how she intended to live her life in the future. What hope did she have of sticking to her decision to be in charge of her own destiny when one night working with Sean had had this effect? She had to rid herself of all these foolish memories, finally put an end to that episode in her life. Until she did so she would be always looking back, constantly comparing how she felt now to how she had felt then.

It was the way she should set about it that was the big question—how to totally and completely erase Sean Fitzgerald from her consciousness. Oh, she had tried her best over the past couple of years and thought she had succeeded too, but obviously not. He was still there in her head, a spectre from her past who refused to budge, and until she rid herself of him then she would never be free to move on. Maybe it had been a mistake to try to blot him out of her mind, to try and forget the heartache he had caused her. Maybe she needed to face up to it, to face up to him?

It was Sean who had called the shots in the past, Sean who had ended their affair too, but maybe she needed to take charge this time—instigate another affair with him and bring it to a conclusion when she decided the time was right. One of the worst things about the whole unhappy experience was the effect it had had on her self-confidence. She’d been left feeling used, feeling like a victim, and she wasn’t prepared to put up with feeling that way any more. This time neither her life nor her heart would be left in tatters. This time she would make sure of that!

‘So what’s it to be then? Are you going to wait for the next bus—a long and undoubtedly chilly wait—or are you going to accept my offer of a lift? I mean we did agree to call a truce, so what’s the problem?’

Sean dredged up a deliberately taunting smile although it wasn’t easy, he had to admit. There was just something about the expression on Molly’s face that had set all his internal alarm bells ringing. He had seen that kind of expression before on other women’s faces and had learned to tread warily until he discovered its cause. Whilst he had no idea what Molly was planning, instinct warned him that he wasn’t going to like it.

‘There isn’t a problem. Why not, if you’re going my way?’

Molly walked round to the passenger’s side and got in, leaving Sean suddenly wishing that he had never made the offer in the first place. The less time he spent with Molly, the better, quite frankly, but he could hardly renege on his offer now. He slid the car into gear and drove out of the gates, his mind racing this way and that. Was Molly plotting something, some sort of payback perhaps for the way he had treated her? It wouldn’t be the first time it had happened, although fortunately he had managed to deflect the woman’s ire before it had caused too much damage. However, if that was what Molly was planning then it might not be as easy to resolve the problem this time. The difference was that he cared about Molly and would hate to do anything that might hurt her even more.

They drove through the centre of the town in silence. Sean was so caught up in wondering what Molly might be planning to do that he found it impossible to make small-talk as he normally would have done. She lived in a tiny terraced cottage close to the river and he drew up outside with a feeling of relief. If she really was looking to pay him back then the best solution was to steer well clear of her. Fair enough, they would still have to work together, but outside of work he would make sure he kept his distance. It was only what he had intended to do after all—stay away from her—so it was surprising how much the idea stung.

‘Right. Here you are. I bet you’re looking forward to getting to bed. I know I am.’

It was meant to be an off-the-cuff remark, a throwaway comment free from any significance. However, the second the words were out of his mouth, Sean regretted them. Why in heaven’s name had he mentioned bed? Stirring up those kinds of memories was the last thing he should be doing!

‘Hmm. It’s always good to snuggle down in a nice warm bed after working nights, isn’t it?’ Molly replied in a tone he had never heard her use before.

Sean felt the hair all over his body spring to attention and then salute. Felt other bits of him follow suit and almost groaned out loud in dismay. When had Molly perfected the art of sounding so … so seductive? Two years ago he would have described her as the girl-next-door: sweet, warm, loving and giving. Now she sounded more like a siren and, worst of all, he was responding to her call! Panic overwhelmed him at that point. It made no difference that he was highly experienced in the ways of women; it still took a massive effort of will to control his baser urges.

‘It is.’ He dredged up a smile, not wanting her to guess how he really felt in case it gave her an advantage. Quite frankly, it seemed to him that she was already holding all the aces. If he didn’t want to end up with the losing hand, then he needed to be extremely careful how he played this game. ‘Right, I’d better be off then. I hope you manage to get your car sorted out.’

‘I hope so too.’ She leant towards him as she unfastened her seat belt and he inwardly shuddered when he felt the warmth of her breath caress his cheek. ‘Thanks for the lift, Sean. I really appreciate it. Can I tempt you to come in for a cup of coffee as a thank you, perhaps?’

Her green eyes stared straight into his and Sean felt his resolve start to crumble away when he saw the invitation they held. It was obvious that coffee wasn’t the only thing on her mind.

‘Thanks but I’d better get straight off home,’ he mumbled, praying that he would manage to hold out long enough to make his excuses and leave, as the tabloid journalists were so fond of saying. ‘There’s a couple of things I need to do this afternoon, so the sooner I get to sleep the better.’

‘Pity. Still, there’s always another time.’ She gave him a lingering smile then opened the car door.

Sean gripped tight hold of the steering wheel as she climbed out, knowing that if he let go he would regret it. He wouldn’t follow her inside the house, he told himself sternly, not on any pretext. Not when he felt this way. He made himself sit there and wait while she unlocked the front door, even managed to wave before he drove away, but his heart was going nineteen to the dozen. He had a very good idea what Molly was plotting, what form her retribution would take. She was planning to seduce him and, once he was under her spell, then undoubtedly she would ditch him exactly as he had done to her. Quite frankly, he wasn’t sure what shocked him most, the fact that sweet, gentle Molly should come up with such a plan, or how much the idea terrified him.

After all, now he knew what was afoot, he could take steps to prevent it happening, couldn’t he? He could resist her overtures and stick to being a colleague and nothing more. It should be easy-peasy but he knew in his heart that it wouldn’t be. The problem was that he wasn’t sure if he could resist if Molly tried to lure him back into her bed. Even though he might know why she was doing it, would it be enough to put him off? Or would the thought of holding her in his arms and experiencing everything he had felt two years ago prove too much?

Sean groaned as he drew up at the traffic lights when they changed to red. Logically, the fact that Molly was simply trying to pay him back for what he had done to her should have been enough to guarantee that he would refuse to get involved with her again. However, it wasn’t his head that was dictating his actions this time but his heart, and his heart was playing by its own rules. There was no guarantee that he could hold out if Molly was determined to get her own way. Absolutely no guarantee at all.