Трое в лодке, не считая собаки / Three Men in a Boat (To Say Nothing of the Dog)

It is a most extraordinary thing, but when I read a medicine advertisement I usually come to the conclusion that I am suffering from the disease that was described. One day I went to the British Museum to read about hay fever 1, I fancy I had it 2. I took the book, and read all I needed; and then I idly turned the leaves, and began to study diseases, generally. Immediately I understood that I had some fearful, devastating illness. I sat for a while, frozen with horror; and then, in despair, I again turned over the pages. I came to typhoid fever 3 – read the symptoms – discovered that I had typhoid fever, must have had it for months without knowing it – wondered what else I had got; turned up St. Vitus’s Dance 4 – found, as I expected, that I had that too, – and so started alphabetically. I had every malady they wrote about! The only malady I had not got was housemaid’s knee 5