Kitabı oku: «A Proposal From The Crown Prince»

CHAPTER ONE

POSY’S CHEEKS ACHED but her smile didn’t waver, nor did she flinch as a bead of sweat rolled down her forehead, another trickling slowly down her back. Her muscles screamed for release but she kept perfectly still, one leg bent, an arm outstretched, head high, eyes fixed on the cheering crowd. They were on their feet, shouts of ‘bravo!’ reverberating around the auditorium as bouquet after ravishing bouquet were carried onto the stage to be laid reverentially at her fellow dancer’s feet.

What must it feel like to be Daria, Posy wondered as Daria kissed her hand to the ecstatic audience, to know that all this rapture was for you? How did it feel to star in a brand-new ballet, choreographed just for you, and to have London at your feet? She and Daria had started ballet school together years before, had once stood side by side, the only two girls from their year to make it into the Company—but now Daria shone right in centre stage while Posy remained firmly in the heart of the Corps de Ballet.

But there was still hope, the promotions were yet to be announced. Maybe this year she would finally make Artist and be given some of the smaller featured roles—and then First Artist to Soloist and on and on until she reached the exalted rank of Principal. Maybe...

But at twenty-four, five years after she’d graduated into the Company, it was getting harder and harder to keep hoping. Of course, she reminded herself as another bead of sweat trickled down her cheek, thousands of people would kill for the opportunity to be doing exactly what she was doing, would consider being able to dance in nearly every production of the most prestigious ballet company in the world enough in itself. But it wasn’t enough; she wanted more.

Posy stayed backstage longer than usual after the curtain finally fell, standing quietly to one side of the cavernous room as the rest of the dancers exited chattering excitedly and the stagehands began to move the scenery back into its designated space. There was always an extra buzz after a Saturday night’s performance, adrenaline mixing with the sweet knowledge there was no class on a Sunday so the dancers could flock to their favourite Covent Garden haunts, filling the tables vacated by the tourists as night drew in. But Posy couldn’t shake her flatness and so she waited until the backstage area had cleared before making her way out. When she finally reached the dressing room she shared with several other girls it was empty apart from the usual bottles of make-up and brushes scattered on the dressing tables, discarded tights and pointe shoes piled in the corner and costumes hanging on rails, waiting for the costume department to collect, clean and mend them before the next performance.

Posy sank into her chair with a sigh, avoiding her own gaze in the brightly lit mirror. She didn’t want to see the sweat-streaked stage make-up accenting her eyes, cheekbones and lips, the dark hair twisted into the bun she had worn every day for years, slim but muscled shoulders and arms, the clavicles at her neck clearly visible. Her make-up itched, felt too heavy, claggy on her skin, her shoulders ached and her ankles twinged. As for her feet, well, she knew all too well that it was her job to smile and look effortless while en pointe, that it took as much practice to smile through the pain as it did to perfect a pirouette, but tonight her shoes pinched more than usual, the ribbons too tight around her ankles. It took a few moments to undo the knots and slip them off, pulling off her toepads to reveal the bruised and blistered feet of a professional ballet dancer. She winced as she flexed her feet. Every twinge was worth it. Usually...

‘You look triste, chérie.’

Posy jumped as a voice floated over from the door; she’d assumed all her friends had left. She forced a smile and turned to greet her fellow Corps ballerina. ‘Hi, Elise. No, I’m fine. Just end-of-season blues, the usual.’ The principals and soloists were heading out on an Australian tour before stepping into a series of lucrative guest artist appearances but the summer always seemed longer and emptier for those without international reputations. She usually filled her break with stints teaching at summer schools, extra classes and courses and trying to find opportunities to perform wherever she could. She knew she was luckier than many ballet dancers—at least she was paid over the summer months—but she still felt lost at the thought of weeks without her usual routine of classes, rehearsals and performances.

The diminutive French girl sauntered into the room and dropped gracefully into the chair next to Posy’s. ‘Me, I’m looking forward to the break,’ she said. ‘I thought you were too. Don’t you have a holiday home to visit?’

Posy shrugged. She knew she should be more excited about the house her godmother had left her but her recent visit to the rambling pink villa on L’Isola dei Fiori for her sister Miranda’s rather sudden wedding had left her filled less with the thrill of home ownership than with panic. The villa was huge and had obviously once been beautiful but now it was dilapidated, the garden still overgrown despite her sister Immi’s best efforts, with walls literally crumbling down. It was going to cost a fortune to put right—and a fortune was something she most definitely didn’t have.

‘I am planning to go there at some point over the summer, but my sister’s there at the moment and I’m not sure how long she’s planning on staying.’ The villa did have an immediate use—it had been a bolt-hole for all three of her sisters; first Miranda, then Portia and now Imogen had all fled there to try and regroup in a year that seemed full of upheaval. Posy knew she was being silly, there was no reason she couldn’t stay there at the same time as her sister, but years away at ballet school had left her feeling very much the outsider in her own family. It didn’t help that the sisters nearest in age were twins, neither of whom had wanted to spend much time with the baby of the family when they were growing up.

‘If I had a villa on the beach I would be heading straight there and possibly never coming back.’ Elise eyed Posy keenly. ‘Unless there’s another reason you’re staying around.’

Posy shifted in her seat, unpinning her hair so she didn’t have to meet Elise’s gaze. ‘I don’t want to be too far away. People are ill on tour, they need emergency understudies; I’d hate to miss out because I’m not here.’ She just needed the opportunity to stand out. If they would just give her a solo, one small role, then they would see what she could do.

Elise didn’t answer for a long moment; instead she swept the discarded hairpins up from Posy’s dressing table and began to bend them back into shape. ‘Posy, you and I have danced together for how long now? Three years?’

Posy nodded, her chest tightening at Elise’s unusually serious tone.

‘In that time neither of us have been asked to do anything extra, to be featured in any way while girls who joined this season, last season, have been getting duets, solos, character parts.’

Posy closed her eyes. It was all too true. ‘It doesn’t mean we won’t get there...’

‘Non,’ Elise contradicted her. ‘It does. And I for one did not become a dancer to spend my life being nothing but beautiful scenery.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘I’m leaving. I’m joining a tour company.’

Posy spun round and stared at her friend in disbelief. ‘You’re what? Cramped dressing rooms, digs, a different small town every day, no paid holiday? Instead of here, instead of all this history, the reputation? Why?’

‘To dance,’ Elise said simply. ‘I will go in as First Soloist, if I do well then I could be Principal by this time next year. I have been promised a chance to dance Clara and Aurora this autumn. There’s even a chance of Odette/Odile if I work hard. I deserve this. I’ve paid my dues here, Posy. As have you. Why don’t you come with me? I know they would jump at the opportunity to have someone with your training.’

But Posy was already shaking her head. Here was where she was meant to be. This was the stage she wanted to conquer—not a different stage every night. ‘I can’t. But I wish you all the luck in the world if this is what you really want.’

‘What I want is a handsome prince to whisk me away from all of this, but if it won’t happen in real life at least I’ll get to dance it. Posy, there’s a whole world outside. Remember that, you have choices...but come, it’s Saturday night and we are free for such a short while. Do you want me to wait for you? There’s a table at Luigi’s with our name at it.’

‘You go ahead. I’m still not changed and I left my jacket in the studio. I’ll see you there, okay?’

‘Okay. Don’t be too long. It’s not good to be alone when your thoughts are sad.’

There’s a whole world outside. Elise’s words echoed through Posy’s head as she headed away from the dressing room and up the staircase that led to the rehearsal studios and break rooms where she spent much of her day. There was a world outside but this was all she had ever wanted from the moment she first put a ballet shoe on. She had sacrificed friends, romance, higher education, even her family to be able to walk along these corridors, rehearse in these studios. To step out onto that stage. How could she give up on her dream when it was still attainable? Impossible.

She’d expected the dancers’ area to be dark and shut up but to her surprise the lights were on in the wide corridors. She stopped to look at the familiar space, at the sofas lined up along the wall facing the huge windows with their views across Covent Garden and the wider city skyline, encouraging the dancers to sit and rest between their gruelling routine of class and rehearsal. Windows above the sofas looked into the large studios, each wall covered with mirrors and barres, capable of holding forty or so dancers. She spent nine hours a day, six days a week in these corridors and studios; they were more home than the narrow bedroom she rented just a few streets away.

She’d left her jacket slung on one of the sofas and she picked it up, suddenly impatient to be out of the building and away from her worries. Elise was right, maybe being alone when she was sad was a mistake. She’d be better off at Luigi’s with a glass of wine and a plate of pasta, her usual Saturday night treat. As she turned she caught sight of two people in the studio and froze when she recognised the ballet master, Bruno, and the formidable company director, Dame Marietta Kirotsova, deep in conversation.

Her heartbeat speeded up. Here was her chance, handed to her on a plate. She could go in there and ask them just what she had to do, what she had to work on, how she could distinguish herself enough to finally take her rightful place as a featured artist. She inhaled, apprehension creeping through her. She was used to criticism, to rejection; she had to be. But this time it mattered more than it ever had.

‘Just move, Posy,’ she admonished herself, but for the first time in her life her feet wouldn’t obey. Maybe she was a coward after all, maybe it was better to hope than to know that there was no hope.

And then all thoughts fled as she heard her name, loud and clear through the partly opened door. She tried to speak up, to let them know she was there, but her voice had dried up, her limbs incapable of movement.

‘Rosalind Marlowe? Oh, you mean Posy?’ Bruno’s voice, still heavily Italian even after several decades in London, carried easily through the still air. Posy swallowed, wishing she were anywhere else.

‘She’s danced with us for five seasons. Do you think she’s ready for a featured part?’

Posy squeezed her eyes shut, wishing with all the fervour of a small child for the right answer, that her worries would all be over soon.

‘No.’

And just like that her world ended.

‘She’s an excellent technical dancer, maybe the best we have. I can see her as coryphée one day—and she would be a wonderful teacher. But she doesn’t have the fire, the passion to step outside the corps. I never look at her in character and believe this is a woman who has loved, who has lived. It’s a pity but as I say she is almost unsurpassed technically and a great asset to the company...’

Posy didn’t wait to hear more. Somehow she regained control of her legs and began to back quietly away. She had her answer. She would never be a soloist, never stand in the spotlight, never see the crowds jumping to their feet for her. Worse, she would never dance the steps she knew and loved so well. Would never be Juliet or Giselle. She was fated to watch other girls live out the tragedies. She had failed.