Kitabı oku: «The Amish Widower's Twins», sayfa 2
Chapter Two
Leanna stood by the fence and watched Gabriel’s buggy drive out of sight along the curving road. She wasn’t sure how long she would have remained there, frozen in the warm sunshine, if Charity hadn’t voiced her impatience again.
Milking the rest of the goats took Leanna less than an hour, and she carried the milch into the house in two large pails. As she’d expected, her grossmammi was sitting at the comfortable kitchen table.
Grossmammi Inez looked up from her mending as Leanna walked past her to pour the milch into storage containers. Most of it went into the refrigerator to wait for customers to pick it up, but she kept some to freeze in plastic containers for when she made soap on Saturdays. She did that every other week, when a church Sunday didn’t follow, because she doubted anyone would want to sit for three hours beside her when she reeked of the fragrances she used in her soap mixtures.
“Are you still going to have enough milch to make soap?” her grossmammi said, halting to take a breath after every word.
“I may have to go to a schedule of making soap once a month.” She sealed the plastic containers and marked the date on them with a wide-tipped felt pen before putting them in the freezer. “I’ve been making soap since I started milking the goats this spring. I should have enough to set up a table at the farmers market for June and July.” She calculated in her head. “It’ll work out fine, though Gabriel wants to buy three pints every day.”
“With two bopplin, he’ll need that. Bopplin depend on milch when they’re young.”
“He said something about them eating some solid food.”
“How old are they?”
“I’d say from looking at Harley that they’re around six months, but I don’t know.” She put the buckets in the sink and began to rinse them so they’d be ready for milking the next day. Some people milked their goats twice a day, but she’d opted for once. That allowed her time to work and help her sisters take care of the house.
“Twins usually look younger than other bopplin. You and your sister needed some time to catch up.” Grossmammi Inez gave a half laugh that turned into a cough. “Not that you ever grew very tall.”
“Gabriel didn’t get married that long ago.”
“Bopplin come when they want, and twins are often raring to be born. You and Annie weren’t eight months in the womb before you decided you had to come out. Your mamm always said Annie dragged you with her because you’ve always had so much more patience than she does.”
Leaving the buckets by the sink to dry, Leanna looked across the kitchen to where Grossmammi Inez’s needle dipped in and out, mending a tear across the upper leg of a pair of her younger brother Kenny’s barn pants. Most of her brother’s work clothes were crisscrossed with repairs.
“Grossmammi?”
As she raised her eyes, her smile faded away. “Something is wrong, ain’t so? You look bothered, Leanna. Is it because Gabriel and his family have moved in next door?”
“Partly.” She couldn’t imagine being anything but honest with her grossmammi.
During Leanna’s childhood, Grossmammi Inez had taken them in twice. The first time had been following Leanna’s daed’s death, and then the kinder moved in again during the horrible days after her mamm and beloved stepfather were killed in a bus accident on their way to a wedding in Indiana. Not once had her grossmammi complained about having to raise a second family in the cramped dawdi haus attached to her son’s home.
“Then was iss letz?” asked the elderly woman.
“Grossmammi...” She wanted to say what was wrong was that two tiny bopplin would never know their mamm, but the words stuck in her throat. She’d never met Freda, whose family lived in another church district. Even so, sorrow surged through her at the thought of the bopplin growing up without their mamm. Crossing the room, she sat beside her grossmammi. She folded her hands on the table and drew in a steadying breath. As soon as she spoke the sad words, it would make them more real.
“Say what you must,” Grossmammi Inez urged. “Things are seldom made better by waiting.”
Leanna stumbled as she shared what Gabriel had told her before driving away. Tears burned her eyes, and she blinked them away. “He didn’t say when Freda died, but it couldn’t have been very long ago.”
Her grossmammi regarded her steadily before saying, “You know your feelings had nothing to do with God’s decision to bring Freda Miller to Him, ain’t so?”
“I know.” She stared at her clasped hands, not wanting to reveal how hearing Freda connected to Gabriel’s surname always sent a pulse of pain through her. She’d imagined herself as Leanna Miller so many times.
Why did the thought of Gabriel married to someone else remain painful? Leanna frowned. She shouldn’t be thinking of herself, only the bopplin. The poor woman was dead and her kinder were growing up without her.
“Are you upset because you think Gabriel Miller has come to Harmony Creek Hollow specifically to look for a wife to take care of his bopplin?”
Leanna’s head snapped up at the sound of her sister’s voice coming from the back door. Trust Annie, her identical twin, to get right to the heart of the matter. Her twin never hesitated to say what was on her mind.
Deciding to be—for once—equally blunt, Leanna asked, “How long have you been eavesdropping?”
“Long enough to find out who moved into the empty house next door.” Annie stooped to give Grossmammi Inez a hug. “I came in to pick up a different pair of shoes.” She pointed to her paint-stained ones. “I put the wrong ones on when I left for the bakery this morning. Before I go, though, you haven’t answered my question, Leanna. Are you worried Gabriel Miller is here solely to find a wife to take care of his bopplin?”
Being false with her twin would be like lying to herself.
“Ja.”
She watched as Annie and their grossmammi exchanged a glance, but couldn’t read what message they shared.
Getting up, she hugged them. She retrieved her milch buckets from the sink and took them out to the shed before hitching the horse to their buggy. Today was her day to clean Mrs. Duchamps’s house, and she needed to hurry or she’d be late.
The questions her family had asked were a wake-up call. She must not let the lingering longings of her heart betray her more than Gabriel had.
* * *
What was he doing wrong?
Gabriel looked from the handwritten recipe on the battered wooden counter to the ingredients he’d gathered to make formula for the twins. Realizing he’d missed a step, he added two tablespoons of unflavored gelatin. As he stirred the pot, he frowned. Something wasn’t right. The color was off, and it was getting too thick too fast. He tried a sip. It tasted as it was supposed to, which was without a lot of flavor. He guessed, once they sampled this mixture, the twins would be more eager to eat solid foods.
A quick glance across the crowded kitchen reassured him the bopplin were playing on the blanket he’d found at the bottom of a box marked “kitchen” and “pots and pans.” Friends had helped them pack, and he guessed one person had filled the box and taped it closed before another person labeled it. Bath supplies had been discovered in a box marked “pillows.” True, there had been one small pillow in it, but the majority of the box had been stuffed with shampoo, toothpaste and the myriad items the bopplin required, including extra diaper pins.
The house, which would need his and his twin’s skills to renovate, was stuffed with boxes. He and Michael had brought the barest essentials with them, including their tools. However, two bopplin didn’t travel without box after box of supplies and toys and clothing.
He should be grateful the boxes covered up the deep scratches in the uneven wood floors. Other boxes were set to keep the kinder from reaching chipped walls and floor molding. An old house could be filled with lead paint.
Eventually, it would become a wunderbaar family home, because the rooms were spacious. Large windows welcomed the sunlight. There were three bathrooms, one on the first floor and two more upstairs amid the six bedrooms. One toilet upstairs had plumbing problems, but the water had been turned off before damaging the floors or ceilings. Some furniture had been left behind by the previous owners, but, other than the kitchen table and chairs, it needed to be carted to the landfill because it reeked of mold and rot.
Gabriel paused stirring the formula as Heidi began to clap two blocks together and gave him a grin. Her new tooth glittered like a tiny pearl. Beside her, Harley lay on his back, his right hand holding a teething biscuit while his other hand gripped his left toes. He rocked and giggled when his sister did. With their red hair and faint beginnings of freckles across their noses, they looked like a pair of Englisch dolls. Their big brown eyes displayed every emotion without any censoring.
Had he ever been that open with others?
It seemed impossible after the tragedies of the past couple of years.
“What a schtinke,” said his brother, Michael, as he walked into the kitchen through the maze of unpacked or half-unpacked boxes. Pausing to wave to the bopplin, who giggled, he added, “I hope it tastes better than it smells, or the kids won’t drink it.”
“I sampled a bit of it, and it doesn’t taste as bad as it smells.”
“I don’t think anything could taste that bad.” He reached for the kaffi pot.
Gabriel motioned for his brother to pour him a cup of kaffi, too. He was becoming dependent on caffeine. When was the last time he’d gotten a full night’s sleep? “If this doesn’t work for them, I don’t know what will.”
“Why not be positive? Isn’t that what you always say?”
He watched Michael fill the cups and add a touch of cream and sugar to each. He and his brother weren’t identical twins. There never had been any trouble telling them apart, but the physical differences had grown more pronounced as they grew older.
Michael’s hair wasn’t flame red. Instead it was a darker brown with a faint tinge of russet that became, in the summer sunshine, more pronounced. He was several inches taller than Gabriel and had a nose someone once had described as aristocratic. Gabriel wasn’t sure what that was supposed to mean, but he’d always admired his brother’s strong profile, which was not softened by a beard, for his brother remained a bachelor. Like Gabriel, he had hands calloused from work. His fingers, which were broader than Gabriel’s, could handle a plank of wood as delicately as if it were glass. He’d worked as a finish carpenter in Pennsylvania while Gabriel had focused on rough-in work.
There were more subtle differences, too. Gabriel was the steady one, the person anyone could go to when things were getting rough. He’d give them a well thought-out solution after deliberating on it. Michael jumped into any situation. As a boy, Gabriel had read comic books with an Englisch friend, and Michael had reminded him of a superhero who never hesitated to run toward trouble. Gabriel saw himself more as the person picking up the pieces after the super-villain had been defeated.
“Here you go,” Michael said, holding out a cup.
“Danki.” Gabriel continued stirring the goats’ milch formula while they talked about the job they’d been hired for next week.
The small project, rebuilding a garage in the tiny town of West Rupert, Vermont, about six miles east, was a beginning. They’d need as much work as they could get because they’d arrived too late to get a crop in this year.
Gabriel stared into the pot. “I don’t think it’s supposed to be this thick.”
“You should ask the person you’re getting the milch from. Maybe he’ll know.”
“She. Leanna Wagler.”
His brother’s brows rose in surprise. “The same Leanna Wagler you met in Pennsylvania?”
“One and the same.” He didn’t add she’d wandered through his daydreams almost every day since he’d last seen her. “I knew she’d moved with her family away from Lancaster County, because her brother was eager to get out of that meat-processing plant and wanted a farm of his own.”
“And she was eager to get away from you.”
“Ha ha,” he said without humor. He didn’t want to give his brother’s teasing comment any credibility although, with a sinking feeling, he wondered if it were true.
No! He wasn’t going to add another layer of guilt to the burden he carried.
Michael whistled a long note. “Talk about coincidences! Who would have guessed you’d find the one who got away here?”
“She’s not the one who got away.”
“Okay, she’s the one who let you get away when you decided to marry Freda instead.” Slapping Gabriel on the shoulder, he asked, “Do you think Leanna wants you back?”
“No.” The answer burst out of him.
Seeing Michael’s gut humor become astonishment, Gabriel didn’t want to hear another lecture on how he should get on with his life. Why did everyone seem to think they could tell him what to do? How many people had told him the bopplin needed a mamm? He was fumbling through each day, trying to be a competent daed as well as a gut business partner for his brother. He wasn’t succeeding at either because he snatched only a few hours of sleep each night. Even on the nights when the twins slept through, his conscience kept him awake with questions about how he could have failed to notice Freda’s despair before she died.
He set the pot aside to cool, then joined his brother at the table, selecting a seat where he could keep an eye on the bopplin. Wanting to talk about anything but Leanna, he asked, “Have you found the rest of our tools yet?”
“Most of them. I dug the nail gun out of a box marked ‘curtains.’” He laughed. “That’s not close!”
Michael didn’t seem to notice when Gabriel remained silent. Had his brother gotten accustomed to Gabriel’s inability to smile and laugh? Gabriel hadn’t been able to remember the last time he’d done either; yet, seeing Leanna today resurrected memories of the times they’d shared a laugh together. It was shocking to think a part of him had died along with Freda, and he hadn’t realized that until he’d looked into Leanna’s wunderbaar eyes and recalled when his biggest concern had been if he’d have the courage to ask her to let him drive her home.
“Have you found someone to take care of the kids while we’re at work?” Michael asked, yanking Gabriel out of his thoughts.
“Not yet.”
“Our job begins a week from yesterday.”
“I know.”
“It’s going to take two of us to get that foundation straight again. Or as straight as we can get it after the garage has been leaning for the past fifty years.”
“I know,” he repeated.
“Benjamin Kuhns—he and his brother run the sawmill—mentioned his sister used to be a nanny for an Englisch family. Maybe she’d be interested in the job.”
“Maybe.” He hated the idea of leaving Harley and Heidi with a stranger.
“How about Leanna? You know her. Do you think she’d be willing to watch the kids?”
“She said she already has a job.”
“Doing what?”
“I didn’t ask.”
Michael arched that expressive eyebrow again. “What did you two talk about? Certainly not about old times.”
“We talked about her selling me her goats’ milch.”
Harley let out a cry and Gabriel jumped to his feet, almost grateful for the interruption despite being worried about why Harley was crying. The boppli was far quieter than his sister, who wanted everyone to know when she was upset.
His anxiety eased when he realized the tiny boy had lost his hold on his toes and was frustrated with trying to capture them again. Kneeling, Gabriel guided Harley’s foot toward his fingers. The boppli grabbed them and gurgled with contentment. Gabriel gave the kinder kisses before standing again.
“You’re going to spoil them,” Michael said with a fake frown. “Aren’t daeds supposed to set rules for their kinder?”
He mumbled something in response. It must have satisfied his brother because Michael turned the discussion to the list of supplies they’d need before they began their first job.
Gabriel went to check on the formula. He kept his back to his brother, not wanting his expression to give any hint to the truth nobody living except him knew. He wasn’t the bopplin’s daed.
Chapter Three
Leanna shouldn’t have felt so proud of herself. She was well aware of the fact hochmut was wrong for a plain person, but she couldn’t help congratulating herself for treating Gabriel as she would have any customer.
For the past four days, Gabriel had come to the house every morning to collect milch for his bopplin.
For the past four days, she’d asked him how the kinder were, and if he and Michael were getting settled in their new home.
For the past four days, he’d given her trite answers and she’d accepted them before watching him leave.
All nice and as indifferent as if they’d met for the first time when he came to inquire about purchasing milch. Because, the truth was, she wasn’t sure if he was the same man she’d known two years ago. The thought almost brought an ironic laugh from her as she finished milking the last goat in the pen.
If she’d known Gabriel as well as she’d thought she had two years ago, she wouldn’t have been blindsided by him marrying someone else.
Hearing the rattle of buggy wheels, Leanna pushed her way out of the pen. She put down the buckets to double-check the gate was secured. Goats were escape artists, and she didn’t want to give them any opportunity to sneak out.
Either she was late this morning or Gabriel was early. Usually she had the milch portioned out before he arrived.
She waited to cross the driveway until he’d slowed the black horse pulling his buggy. When he stepped out, he didn’t wave to her. Instead, he turned to look inside the vehicle. Had he brought the bopplin with him? If so, it was the first time since he’d come to see if she’d sell him milch.
Setting the buckets on the back porch, she went to the buggy. Two car seats had been secured to the back bench. She could see tiny wiggling feet, but not their faces because the seats were set so the kinder looked toward the rear. Families carried their littlest kinder on the laps of parents or older siblings. She’d never given any thought to how bopplin would travel with only a driver.
“May I see the twins?” she asked.
“Sure.”
She unlatched the door and started to raise it. When she stood on tiptoe to stretch it over her head, he took it and lifted it up to its full extent. Having him stand so close threatened to sweep her breath away, and she had to focus on breathing in and out so he wouldn’t notice he still had that effect on her. She didn’t want him to think she was a dummkopf for not ridding herself of her attraction for him. If only it were as easy to turn off as the lights on his buggy...
“Oh, my!” she gasped when she saw the bopplin. Both had inherited Gabriel’s red hair, and they regarded her with big, brown eyes so much like his. “They’re cute!”
“I think so.”
“Of course you do. You’re their daed.”
“Ja, there’s that.”
She tore her eyes from the adorable youngsters to look at Gabriel. When he didn’t smile, she wondered if she’d offended him with her praise. He’d never been stiff-necked before. He’d been an open book when she first met him.
Her smile vanished as she reminded herself that wasn’t true. She’d fooled herself then about him, believing she’d known him when she hadn’t. Otherwise, why had she assumed he cared about her?
How wrong she’d been!
She blinked hot tears as she focused on the kids again. Harley was dressed in a loose garment that would make changing his diapers easier. The little girl wore a white schlupp schotzli, a tiny pinafore apron, over a dark blue dress. The little girl grinned and made gooing sounds. Leanna was lost as the boppli’s smile warmed her heart, which had been as cold as winter since she’d heard about Gabriel’s plans to marry.
Not waiting to ask Gabriel’s permission, Leanna reached in and began to unbuckle the little girl. He started to do the same for Harley. Both kids bounced with their excitement at being released from the seats.
Leanna cradled the little girl for a moment before the active kind wanted to sit up. Balancing the boppli on her hip as she once had done her youngest sibling, she let herself enjoy the moment. Kenny was twelve now. She’d held plenty of other kinder since then, but there hadn’t been the same knowing that having this kind in her arms was meant to be.
Until now.
“Her name is Heidi,” Gabriel said, helping her shove away the thought that should never have come into her mind.
“Harley and Heidi. Those aren’t common names.”
“My daed’s grossdawdi was named Harley, and my mamm’s great-aenti’s name was Heidi. From what I’ve been told, she was given that name because it was her mamm’s favorite story growing up.”
Curious why both twins had been named for Gabriel’s family instead of one for Freda’s, Leanna didn’t want to ruin the moment by reminding him of whom he’d lost. “Keeping a name alive in a family is a nice way to honor those who came before us. Annie and I were named for Grossmammi Inez’s favorite aentis. It created a connection for us though they died before we were born.”
She stiffened as she realized what she’d said.
He cupped her shoulder with his broad hand, creating another unexpected connection. “Don’t think you have to choose every word so it won’t remind me of Freda’s death. I can’t forget it.”
“I’m sorry. I know it’s impossible to forget such a loss.”
Gently squeezing her shoulder, he said, “Danki. I’m sorry you, too, learned about such losses when you were young.” He lifted his fingers from her shoulder, and the bridge between them vanished. “Can we get the milch? I know you don’t want to be late for work.”
Leanna motioned for Gabriel to come inside. He lowered the buggy’s back and latched it, then followed her. She paused by the steps and looked at the forgotten milch buckets. Her mind was in such a turmoil she couldn’t think of how to handle both of them while she held Heidi.
“You get one, and I’ll get the other,” Gabriel said from behind her.
“Danki.”
She used the time it took to walk up the steps and through the mudroom to try to compose herself. When she entered the kitchen where her family was finishing breakfast, Grossmammi Inez looked past her to smile at Gabriel. Annie arched a single brow and remained silent.
Juanita, who at fourteen was already taller than her older sisters, came forward to take Heidi so Leanna could divide up the milch. Cooing at the little girl, Juanita and Kenny made faces to make the bopplin laugh.
Leanna’s arms felt empty as she put her pail next to the one Gabriel had carried into the house. She poured out the milch and stored the amount she had left over for making soap in the freezer. She put the small containers she’d filled for Gabriel on the counter.
He reached for them, then halted. “I need some advice on making the formula. When I follow the recipe, it comes out so thick the bopplin have real trouble sucking it from the bottle.”
“Do you have a bottle with you?”
He held up a finger, then rushed out of the kitchen. Returning before she’d finished rinsing out the buckets, he checked the room to see who was holding his kinder, and his shoulders relaxed when he saw they were still being entertained by Juanita and Kenny. He was a gut daed.
Then his eyes caught hers. So many questions raced through his gaze, questions she wasn’t ready to answer. To do so would upset the fragile status quo, and doing that could make the situation more uncomfortable.
If possible.
* * *
Gabriel cut his eyes away before Leanna discerned too much about the secrets he hid. She’d always known what he was thinking and feeling before he did. Before, it had been charming. Now it could destroy the rickety sculpture of half-truths he’d built to protect those he’d promised he’d never hurt.
“Let me see the bottle,” Leanna said, holding out her hand.
He gave it to her and watched as she tilted it and tried to sprinkle the formula into the sink. Nothing came out. She righted the bottle and walked into the living room. She got a needle from a sewing box beneath what looked like the beginning of a quilt top, and he recalled how she’d talked about quilting. She’d been especially fond of patterns that were challenging for a left-handed needleworker.
What else had he forgotten about her in the mad rush to become a husband and a daed?
Hearing Heidi squeal with delight from where she sat on Inez’s lap while the woman who must be Leanna’s twin held Harley, he relaxed again.
“You need a bigger hole in the nipple,” Leanna said, pulling his attention to her, “so the bopplin don’t have to work so hard to get the milch out.” She used the needle to demonstrate, sticking it in and wiggling it about to enlarge the hole.
“That’s a gut idea.” He took the bottle and tried getting the formula out again. As before, nothing emerged. “It’s still too small.”
Her forehead threaded. “It should have worked. It’s what others have done when their bopplin have had trouble with formula. Are you sure you’re making it correctly?”
“I’m following the recipe I was given by the doktor’s office.” He fished a copy out of his pocket. He’d been carrying it with him in the hope he could find someone to watch the twins before he had to go to work in West Rupert in a few days. So far his search had been unavailing.
“Let me see it. Maybe I can figure out if there’s a problem.”
At Leanna’s words, laughter burst from everyone in the kitchen.
When Inez’s laugh was cut short by her uneven breathing, Gabriel found a glass and filled it with water. He set it in front of her, far enough away that Heidi couldn’t grab it.
“Danki,” she said in a raspy whisper. She flashed a loving smile toward her kins-kind. “You don’t want to ask Leanna to help mix up the formula.”
“Why not?”
“What my grossmammi is saying,” Leanna interjected with a wry glance at Inez, “is that I don’t cook.”
He was shocked. He’d never met a plain woman who made such a claim. Most Amish families considered the kitchen the center of family life, and the women wanted to fill it—and those who entered it—with delicious food.
“Not at all?” he asked.
“Not much. Despite what the rest of the family thinks, I can cook a few things. My sisters have always enjoyed cooking, so while they’ve made our meals I’ve handled other chores around the house. However...” She flashed a jesting frown at her sisters and brother. “I can read a recipe.”
More laughter swirled around the kitchen before her younger sister and brother left to get ready for school. Footsteps pounded up the stairs at the same time the first-floor bathroom’s door closed.
Despite their teasing, when Leanna took the recipe and began to prepare the formula, she seemed far more competent than he was. He wondered if he was supposed to help her or if he should offer to take over for Inez and Annie, who were feeding the twins small bites of oatmeal from a bowl set between them. He halted himself before he warned them about the bopplin eating cows’ milch. They knew that.
Leanna put water in a pot and reached for the box of gelatin. She spooned out two small spoonfuls.
“No,” he said. “That’s not enough.”
“What?” She pointed to the recipe. “It’s the right amount. This says two teaspoons.”
He stared at the piece of paper. “Teaspoons? I thought it said tablespoons.”
“No wonder the formula is so thick. You put in three times too much gelatin.”
“That would do it, ain’t so?” Shaking his head, he wondered what other mistakes he’d made when he was too tired to think straight.
Inez pushed herself to her feet. Keeping her hands on the table to hold herself steady, she said, “You’re a busy man, Gabriel.” He wanted to hug her for comprehending what he couldn’t bring himself to say. “If you want, I can make up the formula and send it with Leanna each day.”
He looked at Leanna. For a moment, he thought she was going to protest, but she was silent, not wanting to gainsay her grossmammi. Leanna always had been careful of what she said, thinking before she spoke. Another thing that hadn’t changed, which pleased him. He’d respected her for not reacting to everything said or done around her, as others did.
But someone had to this time.
“That’s not necessary, Inez,” he said. “I can stop by and get it.”
“Nonsense! She drives right past your house on her way to work.”
“Where do you work?”
“I do housecleaning for several Englisch families in Salem,” Leanna replied. “I’ll be able to drop off the formula every day, except Sunday, as long as I can have access to your refrigerator.”
“I’ll make sure whoever I get to watch the bopplin knows you’re coming by.”
“Watching the bopplin?”
“You didn’t think Michael and I are taking them to work with us, did you?”
When Leanna looked at him with hurt in her eyes, he knew he should have been more like her and thought before he blurted out. Rather than question her, he should have been grateful that she’d agreed when her grossmammi had volunteered her. Not having to go to the Waglers’ farm every morning would allow him to spend a few extra minutes with the twins.
“Who’s doing that?” Grossmammi Inez asked.
“I’m not sure,” he had to admit. “Do you know someone who would be gut with them? I’d heard about a couple of people, but they can’t help now.”
“Let me think and ask around.”
“Danki.” He prayed Inez would find someone, because he wasn’t sure what he was going to do when Monday rolled around and he had to be at work in West Rupert.
