Kitabı oku: «Villa Rubein, and Other Stories», sayfa 16

VII

“I was in high spirits, but the next moment trembled like a man with ague. I reached the orchard before my time. She was not there. You know what it is like to wait? I stood still and listened; I went to the point whence I could see farthest; I said to myself, ‘A watched pot never boils; if I don’t look for her she will come.’ I walked up and down with my eyes on the ground. The sickness of it! A hundred times I took out my watch… Perhaps it was fast, perhaps hers was slow – I can’t tell you a thousandth part of my hopes and fears. There was a spring of water, in one corner. I sat beside it, and thought of the last time I had been there – and something seemed to burst in me. It was five o’clock before I lost all hope; there comes a time when you’re glad that hope is dead, it means rest. ‘That’s over,’ you say, ‘now I can act.’ But what was I to do? I lay down with my face to the ground; when one’s in trouble, it’s the only thing that helps – something to press against and cling to that can’t give way. I lay there for two hours, knowing all the time that I should play the coward. At seven o’clock I left the orchard and went towards the inn; I had broken my word, but I felt happy… I should see her – and, sir, nothing – nothing seemed to matter beside that. Tor was in the garden snipping at his roses. He came up, and I could see that he couldn’t look me in the face. ‘Where’s my wife?’ I said. He answered, ‘Let’s get Lucy.’ I ran indoors. Lucy met me with two letters; the first – my own – unopened; and the second, this:

“‘I have left you. You were good to me, but now – it is no use.

“EILIE.’”

“She told me that a boy had brought a letter for my wife the day before, from a young gentleman in a boat. When Lucy delivered it she asked, ‘Who is he, Miss Eilie? What will Mr. Brune say?’ My wife looked at her angrily, but gave her no answer – and all that day she never spoke. In the evening she was gone, leaving this note on the bed… Lucy cried as if her heart would break. I took her by the shoulders and put her from the room; I couldn’t bear the noise. I sat down and tried to think. While I was sitting there Tor came in with a letter. It was written on the notepaper of an inn twelve miles up the river: these were the words.

“‘Eilie is mine. I am ready to meet you where you like.’”

He went on with a painful evenness of speech. “When I read those words, I had only one thought – to reach them; I ran down to the river, and chose out the lightest boat. Just as I was starting, Tor came running. ‘You dropped this letter, sir,’ he said. ‘Two pair of arms are better than one.’ He came into the boat. I took the sculls and I pulled out into the stream. I pulled like a madman; and that great man, with his bare arms crossed, was like a huge, tawny bull sitting there opposite me. Presently he took my place, and I took the rudder lines. I could see his chest, covered with hair, heaving up and down, it gave me a sort of comfort – it meant that we were getting nearer. Then it grew dark, there was no moon, I could barely see the bank; there’s something in the dark which drives one into oneself. People tell you there comes a moment when your nature is decided – ’saved’ or ‘lost’ as they call it – for good or evil. That is not true, your self is always with you, and cannot be altered; but, sir, I believe that in a time of agony one finds out what are the things one can do, and what are those one cannot. You get to know yourself, that’s all. And so it was with me. Every thought and memory and passion was so clear and strong! I wanted to kill him. I wanted to kill myself. But her – no! We are taught that we possess our wives, body and soul, we are brought up in that faith, we are commanded to believe it – but when I was face to face with it, those words had no meaning; that belief, those commands, they were without meaning to me, they were – vile. Oh yes, I wanted to find comfort in them, I wanted to hold on to them – but I couldn’t. You may force a body; how can you force a soul? No, no – cowardly! But I wanted to – I wanted to kill him and force her to come back to me! And then, suddenly, I felt as if I were pressing right on the most secret nerve of my heart. I seemed to see her face, white and quivering, as if I’d stamped my heel on it. They say this world is ruled by force; it may be true – I know I have a weak spot in me… I couldn’t bear it. At last I Jumped to my feet and shouted out, ‘Turn the boat round!’ Tor looked up at me as if I had gone mad. And I had gone mad. I seized the boat-hook and threatened him; I called him fearful names. ‘Sir,’ he said, ‘I don’t take such names from any one!’ ‘You’ll take them from me,’ I shouted; ‘turn the boat round, you idiot, you hound, you fish!..’ I have a terrible temper, a perfect curse to me. He seemed amazed, even frightened; he sat down again suddenly and pulled the boat round. I fell on the seat, and hid my face. I believe the moon came up; there must have been a mist too, for I was cold as death. In this life, sir, we cannot hide our faces – but by degrees the pain of wounds grows less. Some will have it that such blows are mortal; it is not so. Time is merciful.

“In the early morning I went back to London. I had fever on me – and was delirious. I dare say I should have killed myself if I had not been so used to weapons – they and I were too old friends, I suppose – I can’t explain. It was a long while before I was up and about. Dalton nursed me through it; his great heavy moustache had grown quite white. We never mentioned her; what was the good? There were things to settle of course, the lawyer – this was unspeakably distasteful to me. I told him it was to be as she wished, but the fellow would come to me, with his – there, I don’t want to be unkind. I wished him to say it was my fault, but he said – I remember his smile now – he said, that was impossible, would be seen through, talked of collusion – I don’t understand these things, and what’s more, I can’t bear them, they are – dirty.

“Two years later, when I had come back to London, after the Russo-Turkish war, I received a letter from her. I have it here.” He took an old, yellow sheet of paper out of a leathern pocketbook, spread it in his fingers, and sat staring at it. For some minutes he did not speak.

“In the autumn of that same year she died in childbirth. He had deserted her. Fortunately for him, he was killed on the Indian frontier, that very year. If she had lived she would have been thirty-two next June; not a great age… I know I am what they call a crank; doctors will tell you that you can’t be cured of a bad illness, and be the same man again. If you are bent, to force yourself straight must leave you weak in another place. I must and will think well of women – everything done, and everything said against them is a stone on her dead body. Could you sit, and listen to it?” As though driven by his own question, he rose, and paced up and down. He came back to the seat at last.

“That, sir, is the reason of my behaviour this afternoon, and again this evening. You have been so kind, I wanted! – wanted to tell you. She had a little daughter – Lucy has her now. My friend Dalton is dead; there would have been no difficulty about money, but, I am sorry to say, that he was swindled – disgracefully. It fell to me to administer his affairs – he never knew it, but he died penniless; he had trusted some wretched fellows – had an idea they would make his fortune. As I very soon found, they had ruined him. It was impossible to let Lucy – such a dear woman – bear that burden. I have tried to make provision; but, you see,” he took hold of my sleeve, “I, too, have not been fortunate; in fact, it’s difficult to save a great deal out of L 190 a year; but the capital is perfectly safe – and I get L 47, 10s. a quarter, paid on the nail. I have often been tempted to reinvest at a greater rate of interest, but I’ve never dared. Anyway, there are no debts – I’ve been obliged to make a rule not to buy what I couldn’t pay for on the spot… Now I am really plaguing you – but I wanted to tell you – in case – anything should happen to me.” He seemed to take a sudden scare, stiffened, twisted his moustache, and muttering, “Your great kindness! Shall never forget!” turned hurriedly away.

He vanished; his footsteps, and the tap of his stick grew fainter and fainter. They died out. He was gone. Suddenly I got up and hastened after him. I soon stopped – what was there to say?

VIII

The following day I was obliged to go to Nice, and did not return till midnight. The porter told me that Jules le Ferrier had been to see me. The next morning, while I was still in bed, the door was opened, and Jules appeared. His face was very pale; and the moment he stood still drops of perspiration began coursing down his cheeks.

“Georges!” he said, “he is dead. There, there! How stupid you look! My man is packing. I have half an hour before the train; my evidence shall come from Italy. I have done my part, the rest is for you. Why did you have that dinner? The Don Quixote! The idiot! The poor man! Don’t move! Have you a cigar? Listen! When you followed him, I followed the other two. My infernal curiosity! Can you conceive a greater folly? How fast they walked, those two! feeling their cheeks, as if he had struck them both, you know; it was funny. They soon saw me, for their eyes were all round about their heads; they had the mark of a glove on their cheeks.” The colour began to come back, into Jules’s face; he gesticulated with his cigar and became more and more dramatic. “They waited for me. ‘Tiens!’ said one, ‘this gentleman was with him. My friend’s name is M. Le Baron de – . The man who struck him was an odd-looking person; kindly inform me whether it is possible for my friend to meet him?’ Eh!” commented Jules, “he was offensive! Was it for me to give our dignity away? ‘Perfectly, monsieur!’ I answered. ‘In that case,’ he said, ‘please give me his name and address… I could not remember his name, and as for the address, I never knew it…! I reflected. ‘That,’ I said, ‘I am unable to do, for special reasons.’ ‘Aha!’ he said, ‘reasons that will prevent our fighting him, I suppose? ‘On the contrary,’ I said. ‘I will convey your request to him; I may mention that I have heard he is the best swordsman and pistol-shot in Europe. Good-night!’ I wished to give them something to dream of, you understand… Patience, my dear! Patience! I was, coming to you, but I thought I would let them sleep on it – there was plenty of time! But yesterday morning I came into the Place, and there he was on the bench, with a big dog. I declare to you he blushed like a young girl. ‘Sir,’ he said, ‘I was hoping to meet you; last evening I made a great disturbance. I took an unpardonable liberty’ – and he put in my hand an envelope. My friend, what do you suppose it contained – a pair of gloves! Senor Don Punctilioso, hein? He was the devil, this friend of yours; he fascinated me with his gentle eyes and his white moustachettes, his humility, his flames – poor man…! I told him I had been asked to take him a challenge. ‘If anything comes of it,’ I said, ‘make use of me!’ ‘Is that so?’ he said. ‘I am most grateful for your kind offer. Let me see – it is so long since I fought a duel. The sooner it’s over the better. Could you arrange to-morrow morning? Weapons? Yes; let them choose.’ You see, my friend, there was no hanging back here; nous voila en train.”

Jules took out his watch. “I have sixteen minutes. It is lucky for you that you were away yesterday, or you would be in my shoes now. I fixed the place, right hand of the road to Roquebrune, just by the railway cutting, and the time – five-thirty of the morning. It was arranged that I should call for him. Disgusting hour; I have not been up so early since I fought Jacques Tirbaut in ‘85. At five o’clock I found him ready and drinking tea with rum in it – singular man! he made me have some too, brrr! He was shaved, and dressed in that old frock-coat. His great dog jumped into the carriage, but he bade her get out, took her paws on his shoulders, and whispered in her ear some Italian words; a charm, hein! and back she went, the tail between the legs. We drove slowly, so as not to shake his arm. He was more gay than I. All the way he talked to me of you: how kind you were! how good you had been to him! ‘You do not speak of yourself!’ I said. ‘Have you no friends, nothing to say? Sometimes an accident will happen!’ ‘Oh!’ he answered, ‘there is no danger; but if by any chance – well, there is a letter in my pocket.’ ‘And if you should kill him?’ I said. ‘But I shall not,’ he answered slyly: ‘do you think I am going to fire at him? No, no; he is too young.’ ‘But,’ I said, ‘I – ’I am not going to stand that!’ ‘Yes,’ he replied, ‘I owe him a shot; but there is no danger – not the least danger.’ We had arrived; already they were there. Ah bah! You know the preliminaries, the politeness – this duelling, you know, it is absurd, after all. We placed them at twenty paces. It is not a bad place. There are pine-trees round, and rocks; at that hour it was cool and grey as a church. I handed him the pistol. How can I describe him to you, standing there, smoothing the barrel with his fingers! ‘What a beautiful thing a good pistol!’ he said. ‘Only a fool or a madman throws away his life,’ I said. ‘Certainly,’ he replied, ‘certainly; but there is no danger,’ and he regarded me, raising his moustachette.

“There they stood then, back to back, with the mouths of their pistols to the sky. ‘Un!’ I cried, ‘deux! tirez!’ They turned, I saw the smoke of his shot go straight up like a prayer; his pistol dropped. I ran to him. He looked surprised, put out his hand, and fell into my arms. He was dead. Those fools came running up. ‘What is it?’ cried one. I made him a bow. ‘As you see,’ I said; ‘you have made a pretty shot. My friend fired in the air. Messieurs, you had better breakfast in Italy.’ We carried him to the carriage, and covered him with a rug; the others drove for the frontier. I brought him to his room. Here is his letter.” Jules stopped; tears were running down his face. “He is dead; I have closed his eyes. Look here, you know, we are all of us cads – it is the rule; but this – this, perhaps, was the exception.” And without another word he rushed away…

Outside the old fellow’s lodging a dismounted cocher was standing disconsolate in the sun. “How was I to know they were going to fight a duel?” he burst out on seeing me. “He had white hair – I call you to witness he had white hair. This is bad for me: they will ravish my licence. Aha! you will see – this is bad for me!” I gave him the slip and found my way upstairs. The old fellow was alone, lying on the bed, his feet covered with a rug as if he might feel cold; his eyes were closed, but in this sleep of death, he still had that air of faint surprise. At full length, watching the bed intently, Freda lay, as she lay nightly when he was really asleep. The shutters were half open; the room still smelt slightly of rum. I stood for a long time looking at the face: the little white fans of moustache brushed upwards even in death, the hollows in his cheeks, the quiet of his figure; he was like some old knight… The dog broke the spell. She sat up, and resting her paws on the bed, licked his face. I went downstairs – I couldn’t bear to hear her howl. This was his letter to me, written in a pointed handwriting:

“MY DEAR SIR, – Should you read this, I shall be gone. I am ashamed to trouble you – a man should surely manage so as not to give trouble; and yet I believe you will not consider me importunate. If, then, you will pick up the pieces of an old fellow, I ask you to have my sword, the letter enclosed in this, and the photograph that stands on the stove buried with me. My will and the acknowledgments of my property are between the leaves of the Byron in my tin chest; they should go to Lucy Tor – address thereon. Perhaps you will do me the honour to retain for yourself any of my books that may give you pleasure. In the Pilgrim’s Progress you will find some excellent recipes for Turkish coffee, Italian and Spanish dishes, and washing wounds. The landlady’s daughter speaks Italian, and she would, I know, like to have Freda; the poor dog will miss me. I have read of old Indian warriors taking their horses and dogs with them to the happy hunting-grounds. Freda would come – noble animals are dogs! She eats once a day – a good large meal – and requires much salt. If you have animals of your own, sir, don’t forget – all animals require salt. I have no debts, thank God! The money in my pockets would bury me decently – not that there is any danger. And I am ashamed to weary you with details – the least a man can do is not to make a fuss – and yet he must be found ready. – Sir, with profound gratitude, your servant,

“ROGER BRUNE.”

Everything was as he had said. The photograph on the stove was that of a young girl of nineteen or twenty, dressed in an old-fashioned style, with hair gathered backward in a knot. The eyes gazed at you with a little frown, the lips were tightly closed; the expression of the face was eager, quick, wilful, and, above all, young.

The tin trunk was scented with dry fragments of some herb, the history of which in that trunk man knoweth not… There were a few clothes, but very few, all older than those he usually wore. Besides the Byron and Pilgrim’s Progress were Scott’s Quentin Durward, Captain Marryat’s Midshipman Easy, a pocket Testament, and a long and frightfully stiff book on the art of fortifying towns, much thumbed, and bearing date 1863. By far the most interesting thing I found, however, was a diary, kept down to the preceding Christmas. It was a pathetic document, full of calculations of the price of meals; resolutions to be careful over this or that; doubts whether he must not give up smoking; sentences of fear that Freda had not enough to eat. It appeared that he had tried to live on ninety pounds a year, and send the other hundred pounds home to Lucy for the child; in this struggle he was always failing, having to send less than the amount – the entries showed that this was a nightmare to him. The last words, written on Christmas Day, were these “What is the use of writing this, since it records nothing but failure!”

The landlady’s daughter and myself were at the funeral. The same afternoon I went into the concert-room, where I had spoken to him first. When I came out Freda was lying at the entrance, looking into the faces of every one that passed, and sniffing idly at their heels. Close by the landlady’s daughter hovered, a biscuit in her hand, and a puzzled, sorry look on her face.

September 1900.

TO MY BROTHER HUBERT GALSWORTHY

SALVATION OF A FORSYTE

I

Swithin Forsyte lay in bed. The corners of his mouth under his white moustache drooped towards his double chin. He panted:

“My doctor says I’m in a bad way, James.”

His twin-brother placed his hand behind his ear. “I can’t hear you. They tell me I ought to take a cure. There’s always a cure wanted for something. Emily had a cure.”

Swithin replied: “You mumble so. I hear my man, Adolph. I trained him… You ought to have an ear-trumpet. You’re getting very shaky, James.”

There was silence; then James Forsyte, as if galvanised, remarked: “I s’pose you’ve made your will. I s’pose you’ve left your money to the family; you’ve nobody else to leave it to. There was Danson died the other day, and left his money to a hospital.”

The hairs of Swithin’s white moustache bristled. “My fool of a doctor told me to make my will,” he said, “I hate a fellow who tells you to make your will. My appetite’s good; I ate a partridge last night. I’m all the better for eating. He told me to leave off champagne! I eat a good breakfast. I’m not eighty. You’re the same age, James. You look very shaky.”

James Forsyte said: “You ought to have another opinion. Have Blank; he’s the first man now. I had him for Emily; cost me two hundred guineas. He sent her to Homburg; that’s the first place now. The Prince was there – everybody goes there.”

Swithin Forsyte answered: “I don’t get any sleep at night, now I can’t get out; and I’ve bought a new carriage – gave a pot of money for it. D’ you ever have bronchitis? They tell me champagne’s dangerous; it’s my belief I couldn’t take a better thing.”

James Forsyte rose.

“You ought to have another opinion. Emily sent her love; she would have come in, but she had to go to Niagara. Everybody goes there; it’s the place now. Rachel goes every morning: she overdoes it – she’ll be laid up one of these days. There’s a fancy ball there to-night; the Duke gives the prizes.”

Swithin Forsyte said angrily: “I can’t get things properly cooked here; at the club I get spinach decently done.” The bed-clothes jerked at the tremor of his legs.

James Forsyte replied: “You must have done well with Tintos; you must have made a lot of money by them. Your ground-rents must be falling in, too. You must have any amount you don’t know what to do with.” He mouthed the words, as if his lips were watering.

Swithin Forsyte glared. “Money!” he said; “my doctor’s bill’s enormous.”

James Forsyte stretched out a cold, damp hand “Goodbye! You ought to have another opinion. I can’t keep the horses waiting: they’re a new pair – stood me in three hundred. You ought to take care of yourself. I shall speak to Blank about you. You ought to have him – everybody says he’s the first man. Good-bye!”

Swithin Forsyte continued to stare at the ceiling. He thought: ‘A poor thing, James! a selfish beggar! Must be worth a couple of hundred thousand!’ He wheezed, meditating on life…

He was ill and lonely. For many years he had been lonely, and for two years ill; but as he had smoked his first cigar, so he would live his life-stoutly, to its predestined end. Every day he was driven to the club; sitting forward on the spring cushions of a single brougham, his hands on his knees, swaying a little, strangely solemn. He ascended the steps into that marble hall – the folds of his chin wedged into the aperture of his collar – walking squarely with a stick. Later he would dine, eating majestically, and savouring his food, behind a bottle of champagne set in an ice-pail – his waistcoat defended by a napkin, his eyes rolling a little or glued in a stare on the waiter. Never did he suffer his head or back to droop, for it was not distinguished so to do.

Because he was old and deaf, he spoke to no one; and no one spoke to him. The club gossip, an Irishman, said to each newcomer: “Old Forsyte! Look at ‘um! Must ha’ had something in his life to sour ‘um!” But Swithin had had nothing in his life to sour him.

For many days now he had lain in bed in a room exuding silver, crimson, and electric light, smelling of opopanax and of cigars. The curtains were drawn, the firelight gleamed; on a table by his bed were a jug of barley-water and the Times. He made an attempt to read, failed, and fell again to thinking. His face with its square chin, looked like a block of pale leather bedded in the pillow. It was lonely! A woman in the room would have made all the difference! Why had he never married? He breathed hard, staring froglike at the ceiling; a memory had come into his mind. It was a long time ago – forty odd years – but it seemed like yesterday…

It happened when he was thirty-eight, for the first and only time in his life travelling on the Continent, with his twin-brother James and a man named Traquair. On the way from Germany to Venice, he had found himself at the Hotel Goldene Alp at Salzburg. It was late August, and weather for the gods: sunshine on the walls and the shadows of the vine-leaves, and at night, the moonlight, and again on the walls the shadows of the vine-leaves. Averse to the suggestions of other people, Swithin had refused to visit the Citadel; he had spent the day alone in the window of his bedroom, smoking a succession of cigars, and disparaging the appearance of the passers-by. After dinner he was driven by boredom into the streets. His chest puffed out like a pigeon’s, and with something of a pigeon’s cold and inquiring eye, he strutted, annoyed at the frequency of uniforms, which seemed to him both needless and offensive. His spleen rose at this crowd of foreigners, who spoke an unintelligible language, wore hair on their faces, and smoked bad tobacco. ‘A queer lot!’ he thought. The sound of music from a cafe attracted him; he walked in, vaguely moved by a wish for the distinction of adventure, without the trouble which adventure usually brought with it; spurred too, perhaps, by an after-dinner demon. The cafe was the bier-halle of the ‘Fifties, with a door at either end, and lighted by a large wooden lantern. On a small dais three musicians were fiddling. Solitary men, or groups, sat at some dozen tables, and the waiters hurried about replenishing glasses; the air was thick with smoke. Swithin sat down. “Wine!” he said sternly. The astonished waiter brought him wine. Swithin pointed to a beer glass on the table. “Here!” he said, with the same ferocity. The waiter poured out the wine. ‘Ah!’ thought Swithin, ‘they can understand if they like.’ A group of officers close by were laughing; Swithin stared at them uneasily. A hollow cough sounded almost in his ear. To his left a man sat reading, with his elbows on the corners of a journal, and his gaunt shoulders raised almost to his eyes. He had a thin, long nose, broadening suddenly at the nostrils; a black-brown beard, spread in a savage fan over his chest; what was visible of the face was the colour of old parchment. A strange, wild, haughty-looking creature! Swithin observed his clothes with some displeasure – they were the clothes of a journalist or strolling actor. And yet he was impressed. This was singular. How could he be impressed by a fellow in such clothes! The man reached out a hand, covered with black hairs, and took up a tumbler that contained a dark-coloured fluid. ‘Brandy!’ thought Swithin. The crash of a falling chair startled him – his neighbour had risen. He was of immense height, and very thin; his great beard seemed to splash away from his mouth; he was glaring at the group of officers, and speaking. Swithin made out two words: “Hunde! Deutsche Hunde!” ‘Hounds! Dutch hounds!’ he thought: ‘Rather strong!’ One of the officers had jumped up, and now drew his sword. The tall man swung his chair up, and brought it down with a thud. Everybody round started up and closed on him. The tall man cried out, “To me, Magyars!”

Swithin grinned. The tall man fighting such odds excited his unwilling admiration; he had a momentary impulse to go to his assistance. ‘Only get a broken nose!’ he thought, and looked for a safe corner. But at that moment a thrown lemon struck him on the jaw. He jumped out of his chair and rushed at the officers. The Hungarian, swinging his chair, threw him a look of gratitude – Swithin glowed with momentary admiration of himself. A sword blade grazed his – arm; he felt a sudden dislike of the Hungarian. ‘This is too much,’ he thought, and, catching up a chair, flung it at the wooden lantern. There was a crash – faces and swords vanished. He struck a match, and by the light of it bolted for the door. A second later he was in the street.