Kitabı oku: «His Longed-For Baby»

CONTENTS

COVER

Dear Reader

TITLE PAGE

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER SIX

CHAPTER SEVEN

CHAPTER EIGHT

CHAPTER NINE

CHAPTER TEN

COPYRIGHT

CHAPTER ONE

‘YOU’LL just have to find yourself another wife, Liam…’ Maggie said in a voice that shook with something more than mere anger.

Ordinarily, she hated drawing attention to herself, but she was so incensed that she barely noticed the increasingly fascinated stares of the party-goers surrounding them.

‘If you’d told me you just wanted someone to take care of your children, I could have helped you to look for a nanny. As for a wife’s other duties,’ she continued as a scathing finale, ‘I’m sure it would be far more economical to pay by the hour—you’d get more variety that way.’

She was vaguely aware that he was purple with embarrassment by the time she turned her back on him and started to make her determined way across the room. By that time, she had begun shaking with reaction and all she wanted to do was disappear into thin air.

What on earth had she done? Had that really been her making such a scene? And as for suggesting that he should pay a prosti—

‘Hang on, Maggie. I’m coming with you,’ Karen muttered in her ear, grabbing her sleeve to halt her progress for a moment. ‘I just need to get my coat.’

Maggie didn’t even pause. The awful silence was being replaced by whispers and giggles as the colleagues nearest to them reacted to the impromptu entertainment she’d provided for them. It was obvious that almost every eye in the room must have been watching the little drama and she knew she couldn’t bear to wait another second to get out.

‘Don’t bother, Karen,’ she said with a brief smile for her friend. ‘You might as well enjoy the rest of the evening. I’m just going to go home. I’ve got some thinking to do.’

And wasn’t that the understatement of the year? she thought wryly as she hurried back towards the blessed seclusion of her flat, grateful that Karen had finally taken her at her word.

She really didn’t think she could take an evening of well-meant sympathy—she was too disgusted with herself.

How could she have been so blind? She’d known Liam for nearly a year now. They’d been engaged for more than three months and she was supposed to have been marrying him tomorrow. How could she not have realised that the hospital’s up-and-coming cardiothoracic surgeon was nothing more than a liar and a cheat?

An hour later her hands were still trembling with the after-effects of the distasteful scene as she struggled to tie a piece of string around the top of a black plastic rubbish bag.

Someone tapped softly on her door and she froze, hoping that if she stayed still and quiet they would go away. It had to be one of the other people who lived in the house because they were the only ones with a key to get past the main door.

While they didn’t all work in the same department, they were all colleagues working at the same hospital and relished the opportunity to let their hair down with a celebration. She’d hoped she’d have the house to herself for a little longer—after all, she knew they’d all accepted her invitation to join her for a drink on the night before her wedding. She’d presumed that the rest would take Karen’s lead and stay out enjoying the evening in spite of the fiasco it had turned out to be.

In fact, it was probably Karen out there, she thought with a touch of guilt for ignoring her friend. Hopefully she would go back and join the others because she really didn’t want to see anybody until she’d got her thoughts under control.

She gave a silent snort.

‘Thoughts? What thoughts?’ she muttered under her breath.

She’d been home for an hour and she was still replaying the moment when all her dreams had shattered into dust. For several interminable moments her brain had turned to mush when she’d overheard Liam’s gloating conversation with his best man, Jake. Where she’d found the words to throw at her bridegroom-to-be she’d never know, especially when just the thought of them made her hands begin shaking again.

The thing that frightened her most, though, was the thought that she might not have overheard Liam—that it might have been years before she’d discovered the full extent of his duplicity.

There was a second tap at the door but she was too wrapped up in the enormity of her lucky escape to pay it much attention.

If Karen hadn’t persuaded her that they all ought to go out for a drink this evening…

‘Come on, Maggie,’ she’d wheedled. ‘I know you’re not one to make a big fuss, but at least you can share a drink with the rest of us in the house so we can say our farewells to you. After all, tomorrow you’re moving everything to Liam’s.’ Then, correctly reading Maggie’s hesitant agreement before she’d said a word, her friend had quickly added, ‘And you have to invite our gang from the department, too. We could go to that clubby sort of place that opened up recently on the other side of the high street. It could be an unofficial hen night.’

It had all been so informally arranged that if Maggie hadn’t known how much her colleagues relished the chance to escape from the traumas surrounding them in a busy accident and emergency department she’d have been surprised just how the numbers had snowballed.

She supposed she shouldn’t have been surprised that Liam and Jake had chosen the same establishment. They’d been friends since they’d met during their medical training, and not only had Liam asked Jake to be his best man but he’d been the person responsible for introducing the two of them in the first place. Anyway, Rendezvous would be the most obvious venue for such a celebration, being in such close proximity to the hospital.

It had been sheer chance that she’d been sitting out of sight on the other side of an over-exuberant arrangement of palm trees and plastic ferns, chatting to Karen while she waited for her specially concocted cocktail—courtesy of the management when they’d discovered that she was getting married in the morning…

If Liam and Jake hadn’t stopped to talk on the other side of the same display she wouldn’t have been in a position to overhear Jake ask Liam how he’d persuaded his bride-to-be to give up her long-held dream of having a large family.

‘It won’t be a problem,’ she’d heard Liam say, his airy unconcern covering her gasp of disbelief. ‘It’ll probably take Maggie several years before she twigs that nothing’s happening on the pregnancy front, and as I’ve already had two kids she’ll automatically assume that it’s her fault. And by the time she’s gone through all the tests…’

‘You mean you haven’t told her?’ Jake cut in harshly, and the icy anger in his voice raised the hairs on the back of Maggie’s neck. She’d rarely heard that edge to his tone and she’d been working with him for nearly two years. Jake Lascelles might be her senior in the accident and emergency department but he couldn’t be a more easygoing boss. Right from the first they’d become friends—friendly enough to share middle-of-the-night confidences.

‘Have I told Maggie about the vasectomy? No way!’ Liam exclaimed jocularly, completely oblivious to Maggie’s shocked exclamation. ‘She’s far too good a prospect to miss out on. The kids love her and she already dotes on them enough for me to know that she’ll be happy to keep them out of my hair. Anyway, two rug rats are enough for anyone. With Julia going off like that, I didn’t have any choice about getting dumped with custody of them, but I’m not stupid enough to want any more—not with my career taking off the way it is.’

‘But you’ve told her that you’re looking forward to having another one as soon as you can—the first of several,’ Jake argued.

Maggie could have died on the spot as she heard her private plans voiced in public. She could remember all too clearly the way she’d happily chattered to Jake during a night-shift lull, confiding that she and Liam were hoping to come back from their honeymoon with their first baby already on the way.

‘I bet you’d promise the same thing if you were looking forward to plenty of action on your honeymoon,’ Liam joked coarsely. ‘Can you imagine it? Because of her scruples about the kids being in the house, the damn woman wouldn’t even move in with me until we’re married. She’s going to be more than willing to share a bed with me if she thinks we’re trying to make babies.’

Maggie’s ears were filled with the frantic beating of her heart and she wondered whether she was going to be sick. But even though the noise seemed loud enough to fill the room, it didn’t drown out Liam’s voice as he continued inexorably to demolish all her dreams of happily-ever-after.

‘Then, by the time she finds out there’s never going to be the patter of tiny feet, the kids will be old enough for me to pack them off to boarding school and I’ll be free to play the field again. Not that she’ll know what I get up to in the sluices and linen cupboards once she gives up her job to look after the kids, but, then, what the eye doesn’t see…’

Maggie felt strangely light-headed as the extent of his duplicity became clear, and she found herself clinging to the edge of the table with white-knuckled fingers, wondering how she’d got herself into such a devastating situation.

Jake had introduced her to his old medical school friend nearly a year ago, and although she’d teased him about trying to be a matchmaker, she’d immediately been impressed by Liam’s dedication to his work—the feeling of awe she’d always felt about the complexity of cardiothoracic surgery increasing his stature in her eyes.

He didn’t have the charisma or looks that Jake had, neither did he send the same shivers down her spine, but Jake had made it perfectly clear right at the outset that there would only ever be friendship between them, so she’d had to settle for that.

Gradually, over the months of Liam’s determined pursuit, respect had grown into something more personal until she’d thought she’d known the man well enough to make the most solemn promises of her life with him.

Obviously she hadn’t known him at all, because she’d had no idea that the main reason he’d wanted her was as a nanny for his children, with the added bonus of convenient sex. Of course she knew that few couples these days waited until they were married before sleeping together. In their case, circumstances had played a major part in preventing that happening. Her flat was furnished with an unromantically small bed, and she’d been far too aware of all their colleagues surrounding them to contemplate making love there. And as for any intimacy taking place in Liam’s house, she was old-fashioned enough to feel uncomfortable about sleeping with him in his bed before they were married, because his children were in the house.

It was a decidedly chilling thought that if she hadn’t had such scruples, he might not even have thought of offering marriage at all.

An hour and a long hot shower later, the sick feeling had abated a little but she still felt strangely hollow inside with a heavy ache around her heart.

One day she’d probably be able to laugh when she remembered the expression on Liam’s face when she’d stepped out from behind the plastic flowers. Ellie and Jamie’s goldfish—the only pet Liam would let his children have because it required the least effort on his part—had gaped at her just like that last weekend.

The doorbell rang, telling her there was someone calling her from the main door of the house, but she didn’t bother buzzing down on the intercom to find out who it was. Her windows weren’t visible from the front so no one would know she was there.

Anyway, there wasn’t anyone she wanted to see, so there was no point in answering.

At least she could be certain that it wasn’t Liam, she thought with a flash of satisfaction as she finally managed to squash her wedding dress tightly enough into the plastic bag to secure some string around the neck of it.

She suffered a momentary pang when she remembered the first time she’d tried the dress on and had turned to look at herself in the panoramic wall of mirrors.

It hadn’t been in the least bit what she’d been looking for—the classic winter white suit that Liam had suggested, so that she’d be able to wear it afterwards and get her money’s worth out of it.

This dress had been the absolute embodiment of every romantic dream she’d ever had. She hadn’t even reached her teens when she’d known that, whatever she achieved in her eventual career, her ultimate goal was to find the man of her dreams and build the close, loving family she’d always wanted.

There were no frills or flounces to detract from the classic simplicity of the fitted bodice or the full-length elegant sleeves and the layer upon layer of sheer silk organza that would caress her body and float behind her in a slow-motion dream as she walked towards her groom.

She straightened up from her self-imposed task and caught sight of herself in the tri-fold mirror on the top of her chest of drawers. She pulled a wry smile at the picture she made, with her face devoid of any trace of make-up and her toffee-coloured hair standing out at odd spiky angles after the rough towelling she’d given it after her shower.

‘Not quite the typical picture of the eager bride on the eve of her wedding,’ she murmured, and saw her lip quiver as she drew in a shaky breath.

‘Don’t you dare!’ she threatened the figure in the mirror with a glare from eyes that were more green than blue in the lamplight. ‘Not one single tear, do you hear me? He’s not worth it!’

There was another tap on the door. A different rhythm this time, and she sighed as she wondered who it was. While Liam was unlikely to turn up to apologise, he probably wanted to tell her what he thought of her for making such a scene. He’d certainly been mortified when she’d told him what she thought of him…and in front of so many members of staff, too!

Unfortunately, unless something juicier happened in the meantime, by the time she returned to work the hospital grapevine would probably have blown everything all out of proportion and she would be sharing equally in the notoriety.

Still, that was better than the alternative. It might have been years before she discovered just what sort of man she’d married, by which time she’d probably have been too old to have the baby she’d always wanted.

The knock came again, sharper and more determined, and she had a feeling that, unlike her last visitor, they weren’t going to give up. She was going to have to speak to them to make them go away, even if it was Liam. She certainly didn’t have to let anyone come into the flat, because she just wasn’t in the mood for company.

She was already speaking as she released the catch, determined to send her visitor away as she stuck just her head around the edge of the door.

‘Look, I’m sorry to be unsociable, but if you don’t mind, I’d rather not—Jake? What are you doing here?’

He was the very last person she’d expected to see standing there and the only one who could actually make the whole situation worse. She’d known from the first day he’d introduced her to Liam that the two men had known each other for years, but she had believed that since she’d come to work in his department at least she and Jake had become friends. It actually hurt that he’d thought so little about her feelings that he hadn’t told her about Liam’s lies.

‘How did you get in?’ she snapped. ‘I didn’t buzz down to release the lock on the front door.’

‘I know. That’s why I let myself in.’ He held up a familiar key. ‘I used to live here, remember?’

Yes, she remembered. She’d loved it when he’d used to live right next door to her…that there had been just a single wall separating her bed from the sexiest man she’d ever met. She’d been devastated when, without a word of warning, he’d suddenly bought a prestigious flat in a recently completed development on the other side of the hospital and moved out. OK, anyone could see that his new place was much nicer than this one, but she’d thought he’d enjoyed the friendly atmosphere here as much as she did.

‘What are you doing here?’ she demanded bluntly, her feelings less than friendly now.

‘You wouldn’t answer your door when Karen knocked earlier, and she was worried about you. We both were.’

‘You were worried about me? I don’t think so,’ she scoffed, the anger that had accompanied her home from the club re-igniting with a vengeance. ‘You certainly weren’t worried about me when you hatched your little scheme with Liam. How could you be part of such a shabby trick, Jake? I know you trained together, and you were going to be Liam’s best man, but I thought at least you were my friend.’

‘I am your friend,’ he insisted heatedly, and for just a moment she was almost convinced by the expression of hurt she glimpsed in his eyes. Then he glanced over his shoulder towards the sudden sound of voices down by the front door and the illusion was gone. ‘Please, Maggie, could I come in? Some of the gang has obviously come back from the club and…Look, I need to explain and I can’t do it out here.’

‘There isn’t anything to explain,’ she said firmly, and began to swing the door shut. If he didn’t leave soon she was going to embarrass herself by bursting into tears, no matter how determined she was not to give in. Her only hope was to hold onto the anger until he went. ‘Are you forgetting that I overheard your conversation with Liam? It was perfectly obvious that you knew all about his grubby little plan—’

‘Maggie, please…don’t!’ he interrupted, quickly bracing one hand on the door to prevent her closing it in his face. ‘Please! You’ve got to believe me. I honestly didn’t know that Liam hadn’t—’ He broke off as the chattering voices came closer; clearly people were on their way up the stairs.

He took a step closer, his hazel eyes darkening with entreaty under the rakish length of the dark hair that always seemed to be just a few days beyond the haircut he never remembered to write in his diary.

‘Please, Maggie? Just two minutes?’

There was something in his eyes, a quiet plea that she didn’t think she would ever be able to resist. How could she when she’d lost her heart to him the first time they’d met? Unfortunately, that had been before she’d learned that he was the one man she could never have.

Silently, she stepped back and pulled the door wider, her turbulent emotions making her undecided whether she was making another stupid mistake.

Almost as if he was afraid she would change her mind, he swung the door swiftly closed behind him and leant back against it.

It wasn’t until she saw his gaze slide over her that she remembered that she was wearing nothing more than her ratty old towelling robe—the one she’d been going to throw away in the morning at the start of her new life.

He, on the other hand, still looked as though he could model for the next issue of GQ in his neatly pressed black chinos, black leather jacket and a deep blue shirt that almost matched his eyes. At least his dark hair was as unruly as ever, but whether that was just from the chilly breeze that had sprung up earlier in the evening or from his perennial habit of running his fingers through it, she didn’t know.

For a moment there was silence between them, the only sound the chatter of the other residents passing on their way along the corridor.

Maggie wasn’t sure if it was a sign of paranoia but she was almost certain she heard their tone change as they went past her door. Were they talking about her…about the scene she’d made? The whole hospital was probably going to be talking about it by tomorrow, the tale growing with every telling.

Well, there was nothing she could do about it now.

‘So,’ she said briskly. ‘The clock’s ticking on your two minutes. What did you want to tell me?’

Unable to stand still while she waited for a reply, she threaded her way between the neat stacks of cardboard boxes containing all her worldly goods across to the mini-kitchen in the corner of the room to fill the kettle.

Behind her there was a sharp rustling, tearing sound and a muttered curse.

‘Damn. I’m sorry, Maggie. I tripped over this bag and—Oh, damn!’ he ended on a stricken note.

She turned to find him holding the plastic bag into which she’d just struggled to stuff her once-in-a-lifetime wedding dress—the wedding dress that was now spilling out of a gaping hole in the side like the silky entrails of some alien life form.

She closed her eyes against the sight and turned back to her task, trying for a note of unconcern as she spoke over her shoulder. ‘Throw it in the corner by the door, will you? There are several other bags of rubbish to go out to the bins before I leave in the morning.’

‘Oh, Maggie, you shouldn’t have done this to your wedding dress…’ Jake began, but she barely registered more than the dismay in his voice as a sudden thought struck her.

‘My God, Jake, I’m supposed to be moving out tomorrow!’ she exclaimed in horror as she whirled to face him. ‘I’m going to have nowhere to live!’

‘If you phone the letting agents first thing in the morning, would they let you stay on? Could you renew your contract?’

‘Impossible,’ she said glumly. ‘You know one-bedroom flats are at a premium this close to the hospital, especially affordable ones. They had a list as long as your arm of people waiting to snap it up and the contracts have all been signed.’

‘Too true. You’d probably be murdered by the next tenant if you refused to move out.’

‘Oh, thanks! That really makes me feel better,’ she grumbled as she finished dumping half a spoonful of sugar in his black coffee and a splash of milk in her own.

She turned to find that, in the absence of anywhere else to sit, he’d perched on the arm of her only comfortable chair.

She groaned and handed him the steaming mug before sinking to the floor to lean back against a pile of cartons. ‘Everything’s such a mess, Jake. Not just about the flat but my whole life.’

She heard him sigh heavily but didn’t dare look up at him. It was taking all her concentration to control the urge to weep all over his shoulder, something she’d never done in all the time she’d known him—even after a particularly traumatic day.

Unfortunately, even that possibility was gone now. She’d lost her heart to him so quickly, so deeply, that it had taken her a long time to force herself to think of him as nothing more than her department head who also happened to be her friend. After today’s revelations, she wasn’t sure whether he was friend or foe, but his was still the only ear she wanted when she needed to offload her troubles.

But first he had some questions to answer.

‘So, Jake, tell me…did you have any intention of warning me that Liam was lying and cheating his way into marriage?’ she demanded. ‘I bet the two of you were having a good laugh at the stupid, gullible twit who actually believed someone would want to marry her and have a family with her.’

‘No, Maggie!’ he exclaimed sharply, clearly startled by the idea. ‘God, no! It wasn’t like that.’

‘So what was it like?’ She knew her chin was tilted up at what he’d christened her don’t-mess-with-me angle, but that was what she felt like at this moment. Well, it was either that or sob her heart out, and she did still have some pride. ‘Don’t forget, Jake, I was privy to a very revealing conversation behind that scaled-down version of Kew Gardens. I know that he’d told you about his vasectomy and that you chose not to tell me. Why? Is it all part of the male solidarity thing?’

‘Well, yes, I knew about the vasectomy,’ he admitted roughly. The way he was staring at his white-knuckled grip on the handle of the mug showed that he was clearly uncomfortable with the direction of the conversation, but she hardened her heart.

Then his eyes swung up to meet hers and the searing honesty in his hazel gaze was unmistakable. ‘But, Maggie, I promise that I only found out about it a few days ago, totally by accident. Tonight, when I realised that he hadn’t told you…You did hear that part, didn’t you?’ he demanded, only continuing when she nodded, relieved to find that he was still the forthright man she knew.

‘I was so angry with him,’ he growled fiercely. ‘I’ve known right from when you first came to work in A and E that your dream was to have a big family, and I was asking Liam how he’d persuaded you to give up all your plans. I was so surprised that you’d changed your mind—that you’d decided you would be happy to look after just his two.’

Now that she thought about it, the conversation she’d overheard had sounded something like that.

Maggie sighed as some of the knots inside her loosened a fraction. It was bad enough to find out that the man she was going to marry had deceived her from the beginning. The thought that someone she’d counted as a friend had been part of the deception had been too much heartbreak for one day.

‘And anyway,’ he continued gruffly, ‘the last thing I’d call you was stupid and gullible. You’re the most warm-hearted, generous person I know.’

‘With the most abysmal instincts about men,’ she added wryly, even as she basked in the unexpected testimonial. ‘How could I have been so wrong about Liam?’

‘Perhaps because he was careful to tell you only what you wanted to hear?’ Jake suggested quietly. ‘Hey, don’t beat yourself up about it or you’ll make me feel even more guilty—after all, I knew how much you were looking forward to starting a family and I was the one who introduced you. You must know I’d never have done it if I’d known he’d had the op.’

It didn’t take more than a glance at him to know that he meant that. And she did know that he wouldn’t have done such a thing. He was far too honest to play stupid games like that.

‘I suppose that next you’ll be telling me that I should be grateful to you for showing me his true colours before we tied the knot,’ she retorted, more relieved than she could say that she hadn’t lost her friend after all.

She allowed herself to relax a little, unaccountably pleased that the two of them hadn’t lost the rapport they’d developed over the last two years. She had several female friends with whom she enjoyed sharing girl talk, but Jake was different. With him she felt so at ease that she didn’t have to think twice before she spoke her mind, knowing he would understand what she meant. Some of their colleagues in the department were all too ready to take offence at the slightest thing or, worse, to spread gossip…

‘Oh, Lord!’ she groaned, dropping her head down to her knees as a less than happy thought crossed her mind. ‘I’m going to have to get another job.’

‘What? Why on earth would you want to do that?’ he demanded. ‘You and Liam don’t even work in the same department. He only comes down if we need him to consult over a patient.’

‘That may be so, but you know as well as I do that A and E is staffed by some of the biggest gossips in the hospital, and most of the ones off duty were invited to the club for a drink tonight. You wait. By the morning, the hospital will be absolutely buzzing with the most amazing rumours about why the wedding’s been called off.’