Shelby wasn’t sure she could do it. She stood in the suite of rooms she’d been given in the Chimera to use until the shop was open. She was only here temporarily until the boutique opened in three weeks, and then she’d be returning to headquarters in Atlanta, where Paige was holding down the fort, until their next shop opened in the fall. Right now she wished she was back in her safe little condo in Buckhead, watching television and eating fat-free microwave popcorn. Safe but boring. Those words described her life and she had to admit she was ready for a change.
So, here she was in Sin City with the one man who’d never been safe or boring. And she was hesitating in front of her closet as if it was her first date. The last time her choices had been simpler. She’d set out to catch herself a wealthy husband. But this time she had no idea what role she was in.
She closed her eyes and tried to find the confident woman she’d been until she’d glanced up and seen Hayden MacKenzie staring straight back at her with anger, lust and pain in his eyes. She’d known then that the dreams that had been haunting her had led her back to this place to do one thing. To find a way to give this man peace in exchange for what he’d unwittingly given her.
She had a successful career and the life she’d always dreamed of. But did Hayden? Seeing how deeply her choice still affected him made her want—no, need—to make up for it in some way. If parts of her dream life weren’t exactly perfect, well, that was a price she’d happily pay.
She pulled a brightly colored wraparound silk skirt from the hanger and shed her business skirt and thigh-high hose. The fabric was cool against her legs as she fastened it just below her waist. She shrugged out of her suit jacket and tossed it on the chair in the corner.
She had firm breasts so she scarcely ever bothered with a bra. Tonight was no exception. She paired the skirt with a soft white camisole. She took a quick glimpse of herself in the mirror. She looked the way she always did, cool and polished. She tried to fluff her hair up and then realized what she was doing.
Hayden wasn’t really dating her. She closed her eyes, leaning her forehead against the mirror. Then she took a shuddering breath. She was strong, capable, and this was the only penance available to her.
Over the years she’d tried to pay Alan MacKenzie back the money she’d taken. Not in one lump sum, as she’d never had that much disposable cash on hand. But in chunks. And he’d always refused, saying that he didn’t want her money; he only wanted his son to be happy.
She didn’t doubt that. Alan and Hayden had a complex relationship that she’d never taken the time to understand until it had been too late. She’d realized that Hayden had only dated her to needle his father. But she’d been dating him for his money, so she hadn’t quibbled.
She was exactly the wrong type of woman for a man with Hayden’s future back then. Hayden would never know how right his father had been. Alan had made it clear that he’d tell Hayden every detail of the life she’d hidden from him if she hadn’t taken the money he’d offered.
But now…A lot had changed in ten years. Now apparently Alan thought that she could help Hayden. And in order to pull this off she’d have to keep that secret from the man she’d betrayed.
She was dithering and that didn’t fit with who she was, so she pushed away from the wall, put on her strappy gold sandals and left the room.
She didn’t look back or hesitate. She’d made a conscious decision when she’d come to Vegas. Facing the past had never been an easy thing. She’d always looked forward because the past—She didn’t want to go there. Not now.
She exited the elevator in the lobby and glanced around for Hayden. She didn’t see him at first but then found him standing off to one side talking with an extremely attractive blonde.
Shelby realized that for all she knew, Hayden was involved with another woman and really was just using her for revenge. It didn’t matter that she’d said she was doing whatever it took to bring Hayden some peace; she knew in her heart she still wanted him.
Hayden had changed clothes as well, wearing a button-down shirt in midnight blue and a pair of faded jeans. On anyone else the outfit would have seemed casual, but the way he carried himself belied that impression.
He glanced up and caught her gaze, motioning her over. The woman he was talking to had the kind of beauty that made Shelby feel like an ugly duckling. Her long blond hair fell past her shoulders and her makeup, though a little heavy, accentuated her classic bone structure.
Hayden gestured for her to join them. The woman glanced over at her and smiled. It was a sweet, welcoming smile and Shelby felt warmed by it.
“Roxy, this is Shelby Paxton. She owns a boutique that’s opening here in the Chimera in the next few weeks. Shelby, this is Roxy O’Malley, the star of the Chimera’s top-rated revue.”
“Nice to meet you,” Shelby said.
“Same here. What kind of shop do you own?”
“Lingerie.”
“My favorite kind. I’ll have to check it out.”
Shelby reached into her purse and pulled out an invitation to the grand-opening party. “We’re having a little party to celebrate.”
“I’ll be there,” Roxy said. She glanced over at Hayden.
“I’ll look into that matter we discussed,” Hayden said.
“I’d appreciate it, Hay. I know he could be harmless, but something about him made me leery.”
“No problem, Roxy. I’ll let you know what I find out.”
When Roxy left them, he turned his attention to Shelby. She felt his hot gaze on her, taking in the length of her bare arms, lingering on the scooped curve of her neckline and then skimming down to her feet in the tiny sandals.
She crossed her arms around her waist but then realized she was projecting her vulnerability for him to see. And Hayden was intimately acquainted with some of her weaknesses. She didn’t need for him to know that he rattled her.
“Thanks for joining me for dinner,” he said. “Can you walk in those shoes?”
“Yes. They’re surprisingly comfortable. What were you two discussing?”
“Jealous?”
She tipped her head to the side. “Yes, I think I am.”
He laughed. “Don’t be. It was only business.”
“She didn’t seem like just an employee.”
“You’re right, she’s not.”
“Is she your lover?” Shelby asked, though she hadn’t gotten that intimate vibe from the two of them.
“No. More like a kid sister. I really try to make the Chimera like a family. So many people come here alone and…”
Hayden knew loneliness. It was one of the things they’d both had in common. Something Shelby hadn’t had to lie about when they’d been dating long ago. Her mother had always been working, just like Hayden’s dad. It had given them some unexpected common ground.
She tucked her hand under his elbow. “You’re a nice man.”
“Sometimes.”
He escorted her out of the main lobby to the escalators that led to the mezzanine level. “Where are we going?” she asked.
“To the stars.”
“We’re going flying?” This was the man who’d swept her off her feet years ago. He’d offered her the fantasy of romance and she’d lapped it up without thinking of the consequences. Like those sunset airplane rides in his Cessna. He’d taken things that she’d never imagined she would do and made them happen.
“Not tonight. Last year I had a planetarium built. Well, Deacon and I did.”
“Who’s Deacon?”
“Deacon Prescott. He owns the Golden Dream. We work together on a lot of projects. I thought we’d have a drink under the stars before dinner.”
“Isn’t that going to be a little awkward with all your other guests?”
“No, Shel. I closed down one of the theaters. I’d rather my guests stay in the casino anyway.”
“More money to be made that way, right?”
“You know that money makes the world go round.”
“Yes, I do.”
He slipped his hand under her elbow and led her through the mezzanine. He was stopped twice by his employees with questions that he had to take. Owning Bêcheur d’Or made her understand how demanding running any kind of business could be. She’d checked in with Paige early this morning and had a conference call scheduled for tomorrow at 9:00 a.m. with the builders of the next boutique in Washington, D.C.
Finally they entered a long corridor that was sparsely occupied. The piped-in music wasn’t some generic Muzak but the sophisticated beauty of Wynton Marsalis playing the trumpet.
Shelby closed her eyes and wondered for a moment if this might have been her life had she made a different choice all those years ago.
“Vegas has changed in the last ten years,” she said, though she suspected it was the changes inside herself that made the city seem so different.
“Yes, it has.”
“Did you have anything to do with that?” she asked to fill the silence and keep her mind off the uncomfortable feeling that maybe she hadn’t changed as much as she wished she had.
“What do you think?” he asked.
She paused and tilted her head to the side to study him. She knew without a doubt that he was on the image committee and the development committees for the Strip. Hayden wouldn’t chance leaving any detail that could affect his business to someone else.
“Yes. I like how sophisticated your hotel is, but that doesn’t change the fact that one block over, the area is still a little sleazy.”
“Everyone is looking for something different in Vegas and we like to say we can accommodate any type of poison.”
“What about me?” she asked, wondering what he thought about her was dangerous. What you think of yourself is the only thing that matters. But she’d never held herself in high regard.
“What about you?” he asked. He pulled her into a small alcove.
She felt secluded from the rest of the world with the wall at her back and Hayden blocking her front. He stared down at her with an unreadable expression and she shivered deep inside, realizing how much of life she’d been missing since she left this man.
Because she’d never been able to really trust a man enough to let him affect her the way Hayden always had. She swallowed against a dry throat and said, “What’s my poison?”
“Only you can say. I suspect that it’s a mix between the gritty reality of where you grew up and this.” He gestured to the ornately decorated hallway.
“What about you?” she asked, not willing to dwell too much on how gritty her reality had been.
“I’m the center ring, master of ceremonies. Making sure that whatever reason—fantasy or desire—you brought with you gets fulfilled.”
There was a husky sensuality in his voice. She looked up at Hayden, into his deep blue eyes, and realized that he wasn’t all show and both of them knew it.
Hayden liked the feel of Shelby’s arm under his hand. The lobby of the planetarium was actually between his hotel and Deacon’s Golden Dream. They’d funded a wing together last year that would enhance the experience for their guests. He also had a traveling Impressionists exhibit down the hall in the art museum.
Most people came to Vegas for a reason and Shelby’s was probably just profit motivated, but his gut said there was more. He wanted to know more about those reasons.
Hayden had asked the head chef, Louis Patin, to send up champagne and strawberries for a predinner snack, and one of the hostesses handed a wicker basket to Hayden as they entered. He took Shelby up the back stairs into one of the VIP rooms.
“Give me a minute to get everything set up,” he said.
“Can I help?” she asked.
“No. I’ve got it.” He gestured toward the plush velvet covered seats positioned in front of the low wall. “Enjoy the show.”
She sat down and Hayden watched her carefully cross her legs, then shift to find a more comfortable position on the chair. The slit in her skirt widened and he realized it was a wraparound type and that only one or two buttons were keeping that silky fabric in place.
He caught a glimpse of her thigh before she pulled the fabric over her leg, covering it up. He sighed and then turned to open their champagne.
She was watching him as he poured the liquid and handed her a glass. The material from her skirt slipped free of her fingers. It slid down her leg. The woman had great legs.
“Why are we playing these games, Hayden?” she asked, running her fingers along the length of exposed skin. The stars had begun to appear on the planetarium ceiling, and soft classical music began to play.
“I wasn’t aware we were. We both like to flirt,” he said, lightly touching his glass to hers then moving back to regard her. Her flesh looked so soft and tempting in the muted lighting in the room. His own fingers tingled with the need to caress her. He clenched them and sipped the bubbling drink.
“I thought you were the master of ceremonies. Flirting is where we both try to pretend that we’re not still attracted to each other.”
“Is that what you’ve been doing?” he asked. Already his blood was flowing heavy and every nerve in his body said screw talking and take her. She didn’t want the niceties he put on when he was trying to be a gentleman instead of the gambler he essentially was.
“I’ve been trying. And not successfully I might add,” she said, twisting her fingers together in a nervous gesture that made him realize that it might not be real desire that motivated Shelby. It was the waiting. Not knowing which way things were going to fall between them.
“Why?” he asked, needing to know more.
“I can’t figure it out. There’s always been something about you that makes me feel…I don’t know, like I’m about to jump off a cliff. I know that it’s going to be an exhilarating ride but I’m not sure my parachute is going to open in time.”
It was different for him. He’d spent the last ten years protecting his emotions from the women with whom he got involved. It hadn’t even been conscious at first, but the last woman he’d broken up with had said that he was the coldest man she’d ever slept with. White-hot in bed but stone-cold out. And Hayden had realized the truth about himself. The truth that had probably been there the entire time. He couldn’t do things by half measures.
“We agreed to dinner,” he said.
“I know. But I got nervous when I saw you watching me.”
“Wanting you,” he said.
He closed the distance between them and bent down on one knee. Up close he could see the smooth, lightly tanned skin.
“Do you want me to want you that way?”
“Yes,” she said. “Yes, because that gives me something real to cling to.”
He shouldn’t touch her. Not now. Yet he couldn’t help himself. He reached out, scraping one nail along the edge of the material that covered her leg. She shivered, but didn’t pull away.
Her hand fell to his shoulder, holding on to him while he touched her. Stroking her was addictive. Her skin was softer than anything he’d touched in a long time. Her muscles weren’t hardened by hours in the gym, but softer. It was a very feminine thigh.
Taking the fabric in his hand, he drew it up over her leg and uncovered her. She dropped her hand to the top of her thigh, lightly resting it on top of his.
“Sit with me, Hayden. Let’s talk.”
He didn’t ask why. He knew that she wanted that sweet feeling that had always been between them. The real reason he could never forgive Shelby wasn’t so much because of the money she’d taken. It was because of the lesson she’d taught him.
He’d never been the kind of man who had let anyone inside him. Never let anyone see the real man behind the trappings of the spoiled rich-boy facade. But he’d been tempted to let her in and she’d walked away.
“Why’d you do it, Shel?”
She trembled and lifted her hand from his. She pushed away from the chair and walked a few steps from him, looking out over the railing up toward the stars that were playing across the wide ceiling.
He stood but kept the distance between them. When she spoke it was almost too soft for him to hear, but he could make out the words.
“I needed security.”
“That’s it?” he asked, sensing she was hiding something. He knew then that subterfuge was a big part of what was going on here and it had little to do with sex. It was all about who they both were and who they didn’t want the other to see. “Lay it out for me, babe. Because that just sounds like a line.”
“I left because I knew that you were twenty-four-carat solid gold and I was that spray-on stuff they use at fairs that wears off after a few days and leaves a green mark.”
She turned her head away from him. “I wanted to leave before I left a mark on you that you’d have a hard time getting rid of.”
Hayden led Shelby out of the planetarium to a very exclusive restaurant on the fifty-fifth floor of the Chimera. They were led to a private booth that faced the floor-to-ceiling plate-glass windows overlooking Las Vegas. The view was breathtaking. She slid onto the bench and straightened her skirt, looking casual and at ease.
But Hayden wasn’t. Tension rode him like a gambler trying to find a winning streak.
Knowing it tightened the knot in his gut. Why did this woman still have a hold on him? And would revenge be enough to loosen her hold?
His mind warned that logic didn’t play a part in his actions here and now, but he wasn’t really listening with his mind.
The curve of her neck was looking fragile and vulnerable, and he realized that talking about her past was one of her weak points. They’d never really talked about where she’d come from. Perhaps he’d been too shallow to care or too arrogant to think any of that mattered. But now, with the years between them, he realized that her past very much shaped the kind of relationship they’d had.
“Thanks for showing me the stars tonight,” she said.
“You’re welcome. Would you like some more wine?” he asked.
She shook her head. “Let’s get down to business. I believe you said you want to get what you paid for, right?”
When she said it like that he sounded like a bastard. It didn’t matter that they both had been acting true to form in those days. He had been a spoiled young man who’d picked a pretty, shy girl who needed him. He’d liked the way she’d clung to his arm, let him pay for everything and make all the decisions. That wasn’t politically correct but he wasn’t really a PC kind of guy. Despite the money he’d always had, sophistication had always eluded him.
“Yes. That’s what I want.”
He saw in her eyes that she knew it as well. Knew that she was sitting across from a man who wasn’t quite the gentleman he pretended to be.
“You make me feel very feminine when you look at me that way. And I’m not at all used to it. Most men I date are intimidated by me.”
“Why?”
“Who knows,” she said, but bit her bottom lip.
She knew. Shelby always knew why people acted the way they did. She made it her business to pay attention to those details. “Just guess.”
“Because I’m driven to make my company a success. I made too many mistakes when I was young.”
“Like you’re old now?” he asked.
“You know what I mean. Sometimes I’m amazed at how immature I was when we were together.”
He leaned back, resting his arm on the seat behind her. He wanted to pull her closer to him, to cradle her against his body and protect her. But Shelby didn’t need him to do that. He imagined that was what she’d been talking about. That men realized that Shelby was an independent woman who made her own way. It was a bit intimidating.
“You’ve done really well. I read an article about your company in Entrepreneur. The reporter said you were one of the savviest business minds he’d ever encountered.”
She shrugged the comment aside. “I think he was just being nice.”
“Reporters are never nice. He respected what you’d done.” Hayden realized he did, too. She’d taken the hand that life had dealt her and rolled with it.
“Well…” She shrugged. It was clear to him that Shelby wasn’t there yet. She didn’t really respect herself. Had he played any part in that?
“Let’s get back to us. I think your dad paid me off so—”
“No, Shelby. I paid that money to you.” He hadn’t meant to say it but it was best she knew the facts. He wasn’t playing around this game—the stakes were high and he wanted to be damn sure Shelby realized it.
“What?”
“Old Alan wanted to make sure I never forgot the lesson he was teaching. He gave you the money, then made me pay him back every cent.” His father had always been real fond of that kind of demonstration—one where the lesson was reinforced by humiliation. It didn’t help that Hayden had played on his father’s biggest weakness: a woman with big soul-filled eyes and an empty bank account.
“Hayden…I had no idea. I’m so sorry. I took the money…well, I didn’t mind taking it from your dad because I knew it was how he kept score.”
He said nothing. She’d pegged his father easily. It was how Alan kept score and he’d paid off three wives of his own, so Shelby knew that it didn’t bother him. Hayden didn’t say anything else but he knew that he’d paid for Shelby with more than just money. He’d paid for her with his soul and now he wanted hers.
Shelby couldn’t have been more shocked. She’d never imagined that Hayden had ultimately paid for her giving up their relationship. But then she’d allowed Alan to push a wedge between them. Let him threaten her with revealing the secret she’d kept from Hayden. The one she still didn’t really want him to know. She wished there were some way to escape the intimacy that he’d created around them. She didn’t want to be sitting so close to him while hashing out the past.
In her mind it was easy to pretend that she was noble and wanted to pay him back—whatever the cost—so that he could find some peace from the past. But the reality was, it hurt. She didn’t want to flirt with the only man with whom she’d ever really been honest emotionally.
She didn’t want to open up herself and him to the kind of hurt that would undoubtedly come. Because she knew that she wasn’t going to be able to just give him a week of sex and then watch him walk away.
Hayden put his arm around her and pulled her against his side. She closed her eyes and pretended that this was something else. Something that she’d done without for a long time. Comfort was easy to take from Hayden. He had big shoulders and a solid chest, and he was more than capable of carrying any burdens.
But that didn’t mean that eventually the burdens wouldn’t be too heavy for him. She turned in his embrace, put her arms around his waist and rested her head over his heart. His hands moved up and down her back, before settling on her hips, holding her close.
His breathing changed, grew heavier. She felt his body changing under hers as well. There was no getting around the fact that sexually they were like kindling and flame. But was that the kind of fire that could be tamed or would it once again consume them?
He brought one hand up under her chin, tipping her head back. “What are you thinking?”
She struggled against telling him the truth. He already saw more of her than anyone else except Paige. Most people she met were content to see only the surface of who she was—a driven, competent businesswoman. But Hayden…he’d known the vulnerable woman underneath. The one who still wasn’t sure of her place in the world.
“I’m thinking this is a mess that I made and it’s past time I cleaned it up.”
“I think we can both carry the blame,” he said, stroking her cheek with a gentleness that made her heart beat a little faster.
“Do you ever feel like life is really a great tragedy? Like the ones in operas?”
He didn’t say anything, only continued stroking her back. Shelby wondered if she’d said too much. Her life had never been ideal, but comparing it to a tragedy…She wasn’t some scared little miss. She needed to stop acting like one.
“I think that in some ways much of our lives is like opera, how operas show the intense emotions that sometimes influence our decisions. Why?”
This was the man who’d convinced her to take a chance and marry him. This soft poet’s soul that she’d scarcely glimpsed since her return to Vegas.
“I thought maybe we were caught at the end of the second act. You know, where all seems doomed.”
“And that maybe it was time to move on to the third act?”
She couldn’t answer. In one of her favorite operas, Tristan und Isolde, the third act had them both dying. But for a love that was so true and right that it captured both of their souls, uniting them even in death. Maybe that was the trailer-park girl deep inside her, but she wanted a man to love her that much.
“What do you want from me?” he asked.
That was the million-dollar question. Alan wanted his son happy and expected her to fix whatever she’d broken when she left. Hayden wanted closure and revenge. But what did she want? Shelby had never really figured that out and it was time to. “I guess a chance to make this real.”
Hayden could tempt her into believing that if she showed him her soul he’d reward her with his heart. But she suspected if she did that, he’d take the revenge he so richly deserved. She felt the Sword of Damocles hanging over her. Knew that at any minute the hair might snap.
“How could it not be?” he asked in that deep voice of his.
He was right. There was nothing subtle about the man holding her and nothing tentative in him. He was going to pursue her for his own reasons and she had to decide what she was going to do. She knew with bone-deep certainty that she wasn’t going to resist him. He was her secret longing and she’d never forgotten him. So now she had to decide. Was she really going to meekly let him take charge of this? Or was she going to meet him on a level playing field?
“I want you, too, Hayden. And I have an offer for you.”
“I’m listening.” He traced the line of her spine up her back. His finger circled her neck and toyed with the strap of her camisole.
“Let’s make this real. Let’s say what this really is. I want a chance to get to know each other the way we never did before.”
He pulled the strap of her camisole toward her shoulder and then lowered his head, blowing on the exposed skin. As shivers moved down her arm and back, she undulated in his arms, holding more tightly to his waist.
“Okay,” he said.
“Okay?”
She couldn’t think when he was this close to her. When he surrounded her with his heat, his touch and his scent. She just wanted to close her eyes and pretend that they didn’t have the past between them. Close her eyes and imagine that Hayden MacKenzie really could want Shelby Paxton just for who she was.
“I’ll let you try to make me fall in love with you. But honestly, Shelby, I don’t have a heart.”
“Yes, you do. And I’m just the woman to find it.” She promised herself she would. There was no problem she couldn’t solve once she put her mind to it. She’d figure Hayden out—find out what made him tick—and slowly work her way into his heart, because she knew from hearing him speak of her betrayed that he still had one.
“You might be right. After all, you were the last one to see it.”
She shivered and this time it wasn’t from his touch. It was from the coolness beneath his words. She realized this time she may have risked more than she’d anticipated.
“Double or nothing,” she murmured, realizing that was exactly the bet she’d made. Both of their hearts united and at peace or once again broken.
“That’s the kind of gamble I make every day in business, but this…”
“I’m in if you are, Hayden,” she said, unable to keep the challenge from her voice.
“Oh, I’m in.”
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