Kitabı oku: «Sam Wu Is NOT Afraid of Ghosts!»

My name is Sam Wu and I am NOT afraid of ghosts.

I know this for a fact because I recently had to become a genuine, certified¹ ghost-hunter. Some people might try to tell you otherwise. But those people are LIARS. Do NOT listen to them. Especially do not listen to them if their name is Ralph Philip Zinkerman the Third. Ralph will tell you that I am . . . Scaredy-Cat Sam.

For the record, I am NOT a scaredy-cat. If I were a cat, I’d be like my little sister Lucy’s cat, Butterbutt. DO NOT BE FOOLED BY THE NAME.

Even my Na-Na (that’s my grandma – she lives with us) is scared of Butterbutt and she is so brave that one time she wrestled an ALLIGATOR!

When I tried to explain to Ralph that:

A. I am NOT a scaredy-cat and

B. Scaredy-Cat doesn’t make sense as an insult

he just laughed at me and said I was probably scared of cats too. Which obviously ISN’T TRUE.

He’s never met Butterbutt. I bet he’d be scared of Butterbutt.

You are probably wondering why Ralph calls me Scaredy-Cat Sam.

Now listen closely, because I’m only going to tell this story ONCE. Okay? I don’t even let my best friends Zoe and Bernard talk about it. And we talk about everything. But even they know NOT to ever mention it. It isn’t a laughing matter, no matter what some people might tell you.

It should have been the best day of the year. It was the day of the class field trip to the Space Museum. It was all I had thought about for months. You see, the Space Museum had a REAL spaceship in it. The only spaceship I’d ever seen was on my favourite TV show

I was so excited, I even wore my special spaceman gear, which was carefully crafted by SPACE BLASTERS’ number one fan (i.e. me).

Unfortunately, space gear is expensive. So I had to be resourceful and make my own even better space equipment. All it took was a bike helmet, some cling film and a few flashlights (it’s dark in space). I even made a custom SPACE BLASTERS shirt with some felt tip markers.

I thought it was going to be a perfect day.

I was wrong.

It all started when I got on the bus to go to the museum. I sat down next to Zoe and Bernard, proudly wearing my SPACE BLASTERS T-shirt and specially crafted space helmet.

‘Sam,’ said Bernard, blinking at me. ‘What exactly are you wearing?’ He was holding a lightsaber and wearing a Star Wars T-shirt. A fancy one. NOT one that he had made himself.

‘Yeah,’ said Zoe, frowning at my T-shirt. ‘What’s a space blaster?’

This was NOT the reaction I was expecting.

‘Oh,’ I said as I pointed at my T-shirt.

‘This is Spaceman Jack and this is Captain Jane!’ Or at least it was supposed to be. Drawing is NOT one of my talents.

My friends stared at me blankly.

‘Spaceman Jack and Captain Jane?’ said Bernard.

‘Hmm . . . I should have drawn Five-Eyed Frank, huh? He’s probably more recognisable.’

‘Five-Eyed Frank? What are you talking about?’ said Zoe.

I looked around the bus and I realised that NOBODY had any kind of SPACE BLASTERS gear on. I didn’t get it! SPACE BLASTERS is the

‘You know – SPACE BLASTERS?’

Their expressions told me that they did NOT know about SPACE BLASTERS.

‘It’s all about Captain Jane and Spaceman Jack’s adventures with their alien friend Five-Eyed Frank. They travel on TUBS, which stands for “The Universe’s Best Spacecraft”, and BLAST through wormholes to other galaxies and fight bad guys. It’s the BEST!’

‘So . . . it’s like a less cool Star Wars ?’ said Bernard.

‘No,’ I scoffed. ‘It’s WAY cooler.’ I actually wasn’t totally sure. I’d never seen Star Wars.

Zoe and Bernard were still looking at me like they didn’t believe SPACE BLASTERS was the best show in all of the universe. ‘You’ll understand when you watch it,’ I said.

‘All right,’ Zoe said, and Bernard nodded. And then we were at the Space Museum.

And that is when it all REALLY went wrong.

After waiting in a super long queue we were FINALLY in the Space Museum.

And it was awesome. We even got to go inside the spaceship! I felt like I really was Spaceman Jack.

‘This is AWESOME,’ I said.

Then someone snorted. That someone being the worst person in this galaxy, and maybe in all of the galaxies. That someone being Ralph Philip Zinkerman the Third.

‘This place is so lame,’ said Ralph. ‘Real space camp will be way cooler. I’m going inside an anti-gravity machine.’

If anything was going to ruin the trip to the space museum, it was Ralph. He’d told us all about how he was going to a fancy-schmancy space camp in the summer. The kind that costs about a bajillion dollars. The kind that I would give ANYTHING to go to.

‘Hey, Sam Wu-ser,’ said Ralph. He laughed an evil-villain laugh. He thinks it’s hilarious that he could make my last name rhyme with loser.

Ralph knocked on my spaceman helmet. ‘What is this thing on your head? Are you supposed to be an astronaut? I can’t tell through all the lameness.’

‘I’m NOT an astronaut,’ I said. ‘I’m a spaceman. TOTALLY different.’

Ralph snorted. Again. He’s a master of snorts.

Before I could explain, Zoe jumped in.

‘Sam is OBVIOUSLY Spaceman Jack,’ she said. ‘From SPACE BLASTERS. Haven’t you ever heard of it?’

This is why Zoe is the greatest friend in the history of the universe.

‘Spaceman Jack?’ said Ralph, frowning. ‘Sounds dumb.’

‘Tell him all about Spaceman Jack and Four-Eyed Fred!’ said Bernard. He was bouncing next to me, waving his lightsaber around.

‘Five-Eyed Frank,’ I corrected, but it didn’t matter. I looked Ralph straight in the eye. Just like Spaceman Jack always looks at the bad guys before he battles them.

‘Spaceman Jack is the bravest being in all the galaxy.’

Ralph snorted (seriously he could win a snorting competition). ‘And you are supposed to be this “Spaceman Jack”?’ he said.

I nodded so hard that my helmet slipped over my eyes and I had to push it back up.

‘Well, if you’re so brave, why don’t you get in that thing?’ Ralph smiled a nasty smile and pointed over my shoulder.

I slowly turned, then my stomach dropped into my shoes.

It looked like a giant dinosaur egg. If a giant dinosaur egg was also a bomb.

‘It says For Adult Riders Only,’ said a new voice.

It was Regina. Ralph’s twin sister. But she wasn’t evil like he was. ‘Sam shouldn’t go in that,’ she said. ‘And I think it’s broken. It might be dangerous.’

‘I thought you were supposed to be some brave spaceman?’ Ralph said to me. ‘Or are you too scared, Sam Wu-ser?’

I swallowed and wiped some sweat from my eyebrow. ‘I’m NOT too scared.’ (I was pretty scared, but hiding it incredibly well, I thought).

‘Come on, Sam!’ Zoe whispered. ‘Bernard and I will watch out for Ms Winkleworth. You can do it – show everyone that you aren’t afraid!’

‘Don’t do it, Sam!’ said Regina. ‘You’ll get in trouble. Or worse!’

By ‘worse’ I think she meant that the Astro Blast Simulator could kill me. Because it looked like it could.

‘Now, Sam! Ms Winkleworth is looking away – this is your only chance!’ said Zoe.

‘He won’t do it,’ said Ralph.

You can do it, Sam, said a voice in my head. It was the voice of Captain Jane, the captain of the Space Blasters crew. Sometimes, when I’m feeling SLIGHTLY less brave, I hear Captain Jane or Spaceman Jack in my head. Don’t you think I was afraid when I went through my first wormhole? Or when I first saw the Ghost King on TUBS? Do it for the universe, Sam.

I knew what I had to do. I couldn’t let Captain Jane down.

I turned and looked at Zoe, Bernard and Regina. I shot my hand up towards the sky like a rocket. ‘For the universe!’ I declared and then, before I could change my mind, I ran as fast as I could towards The Astro Blast Simulator.

I hoped they didn’t see how much I was shaking. Which wasn’t even that much.

It was dark inside The Astro Blast Simulator. Darker than I thought it would be. Dark like in-space dark.

Before I even got my seat belt on or could turn on one of my flashlights, a countdown started.

‘Five, four, three . . . ’

‘Wait!’ I shouted at the Astro Blast Simulator. ‘I need to put my seat belt on!’ TUBS always listens to the Space Blasters when they yell at it.

The Astro Blast Simulator did NOT listen to me.

‘Two . . . one . . . BLAST-OFF !’

And blast-off it did.

I finally understood what Spaceman Jack meant when he said blast-off felt like being an egg scrambled in a hot frying pan. The whole thing was shaking so hard I thought my head was going to fly off.

AND THEN IT STARTED SMOKING.

I coughed; I couldn’t breathe; I bravely yelled for someone to make it stop, but it kept shaking!

And then I took matters into my own hands. I banged on the side of the walls. I kicked. I shouted, ‘I command you to stop, Astro Blast Simulator!’ as loud as I could. But it didn’t. It was out of control!

It was just like when Captain Jane’s worst enemy, the Ghost King, took over TUBS. I tried to think what Spaceman Jack would do but all I could think was:

I’M GOING TO DIE.

And then:

OH NO, WHY DID I START THINKING ABOUT THE GHOST KING?

The Ghost King is the scariest thing in the entire universe. Even Captain Jane and Spaceman Jack are afraid of him. I like to think he’s my greatest fear because I’m a born spaceman. And ANYONE with a brain would be afraid of the Ghost King.

And just when I thought it couldn’t get worse, THE FACE OF THE GHOST KING APPEARED IN THE SMOKE. HE WAS COMING TO GET ME.

Goodbye, world . . .

And then there was light. The Ghost King must have got me. At least I died a brave death.

‘Sam Wu! What are you doing?’

I blinked up into the light. The voice sounded angrier than a heavenly angel would. It actually sounded a lot like Ms Winkleworth.

‘Sam! Get out of there, right now!’

I rubbed my eyes. It WAS Ms Winkleworth! I wasn’t dead! I had survived, AND I had somehow defeated the Ghost King. And I was NOT afraid! I crawled out of the Astro Blast Simulator and stood proudly in front of everyone.

I was expecting applause.

I wasn’t expecting what happened next.

A shocked silence.

And then . . .

And rising above the laughter, Ralph’s voice . . .

I looked down.

It was true.

You should know that Spaceman Jack has never, ever peed his pants.

So. There it is. Don’t ask me any questions about it. We’ll never speak of it again.

But then I had to prove that I WASN’T a scaredy-cat. (And hope that I had banished the Ghost King for good.)