Kitabı oku: «Freefall to Desire», sayfa 2

Chapter 2

If Alex had just up and slapped her, Brianne would have been less surprised.

She gaped at Alex, certain she had not heard him correctly. “What did you say?”

“Unbelievable, right? But I think it’s possible Carter didn’t die three years ago.”

“You think…you think Carter is…” Brianne couldn’t even say it. So long she had wanted to believe it. But she didn’t want to get her hopes up, only to be wrong.

“I know,” Alex said. “After all this time, it sounds crazy. Impossible. But I think…I really think Carter’s alive.”

Seconds of silence passed. Alex stared at her, and she stared back at him in utter bewilderment. “But…but why have you changed your mind?” she finally asked. “I don’t understand. You were certain he was dead. That’s what you told me two years ago.” Brianne was confused and felt like she was in a turbulent sea, being rocked around by waves with nothing to cling to for support.

Alex didn’t speak, and Brianne got the sense that even he wasn’t sure of the answer. But there had to be a reason for the about-face.

“You can’t just come here and tell me that you think Carter is alive.” Only for this to be some misplaced speculation. “Not after three years.”

“I saw something on television,” Alex began slowly.

“Something on television?” Brianne repeated, already doubting that what he was about to say could change her mind about what she had come to accept. “What, a documentary about people going missing the way Carter did? I saw those, too, and at the end of the day—”

“Hear me out,” Alex said. “You’ll understand.”

“Okay.” Obviously the fact that Alex was here meant he thought he had good reason to believe Carter was alive.

“You know Carter and I were into extreme sports.”

Did she ever. It was one of the reasons she hadn’t been able to forgive Alex, figuring that had he not been Carter’s partner in crime, her fiancé might still be alive. “What did you see?”

“A few weeks ago, there was an event called the Fall Cycle Scene—four days of intense motorcycle racing at the Daytona Speedway. It’s exactly the kind of thing Carter would have enjoyed. I was watching on a Sunday afternoon, and I thought…” He glanced away momentarily before meeting her gaze once more. “I’m pretty sure I saw Carter in the crowd.”

Even though she hadn’t wanted to, Brianne had begun to hope. But Alex’s explanation deflated that hope. “A face in the crowd?”

“Not just in the crowd. It was more than a quick clip of some face in the distance. The guy I’m sure was Carter was with one of the racers, a guy named Dean Knight, who is based out of Daytona. When Dean won his race, the cameras were all over him. And that’s when I saw Carter, congratulating Dean on the track. High-fiving him, patting him on the back. The whole nine yards. In fact, it looked to me like Carter was a part of Dean’s team.”

“Which would be easy enough to check out,” Brianne said. “A call to this Dean Knight—”

“That’s the problem. I got in touch with Dean’s people, left a message for him and he called me back. He said he doesn’t know a Carter Smith.”

Brianne frowned. “So you’re wrong.” Why had he bothered to get her hopes up?

“Yeah, I accepted that. For about a week. But I kept thinking about the image I saw. The smile on the guy’s face, the way he moved. Carter and I were best friends for fifteen years. I’d know him anywhere. His hair was different, but I’m ninety percent positive that that was him.”

Carter. Alive. The words Brianne had wanted to hear for so long. But this wasn’t proof. This was…it was hope on Alex’s part. A best friend trying—as she had—to cling to a thread of possibility.

“Alex, this all sounds crazy. It—it can’t be true. A face in the crowd, someone who looked liked Carter…” She shrugged helplessly.

“It’s more than that,” Alex said. “Yes, it sounds crazy, but my gut says it was him.” He paused, stared at Brianne for a long moment. “And I was thinking—hoping—that maybe we can work together to find him.”

Alex saw the way the expression on Brianne’s face changed from stunned to hopeful. It was subtle. She was still confused and overwhelmed—that was also evident in her expression—but there was definitely a glint of hope in her eyes.

And for that he felt a little bad.

Make that a whole lot of bad.

He didn’t want to get her hopes up only to shatter them, but he knew no other way to handle this delicate situation. He had contemplated coming here and telling her everything he suspected, but each time he considered it, he knew he couldn’t. Brianne would probably come to the same conclusion he had and react angrily—which would be understandable—but then she would have wanted nothing more to do with Carter. Having lived without him for three years, she would no doubt close the book on him and move on.

She certainly wouldn’t want to help look for him.

No, Alex certainly couldn’t tell her the truth—at least not the whole truth—and expect her cooperation.

And right now, to get the answers he needed—no, the answers he deserved—he needed her cooperation.

There were times when the ends justified the means, especially when the ends were noble. This was one of those times. Because Carter Smith had stolen something from Alex, something that meant the world to him. Plain and simple, he needed it back.

Alex would be there for Brianne in the aftermath of what would undoubtedly happen, would deal with her wrath and help her through the resulting pain. Because there was no other way to handle this. And it was imperative that Alex keep his eye on the end goal.

If there were another way to do this, he would.

Once Alex had spotted Carter on television, he figured tracking him down would be easy. He had contacted Dean Knight and expected that it would be as simple as that—that Dean would say, yeah, he knew Carter Smith, and then Alex would head to Florida to confront his former friend. Instead, Dean had claimed not to know Carter, leaving Alex at square one.

There were two explanations for that. Either Dean was lying, or Carter had lied to Dean about his identity.

Alex figured it was the latter. Because if Carter was alive, then it meant he had faked his death to begin with. Alex would bet his life on that.

“How, exactly, do you think we can find him?” Brianne asked, pulling him from his thoughts.

“By going to Daytona, for one thing. That’s where Dean Knight lives. It’s where I saw Carter on television. It could be where he’s living right now.”

“Maybe. Or maybe not.”

“It’s the only place I can think of to start the search,” Alex said. “We can show Dean his picture, see if he remembers him. Then go from there.”

“And you want me along for this?” Brianne asked.

“I figured…I figured you’d want to be there.”

Brianne nodded. Of course he would expect that. She had hoped for nothing but a reunion with Carter for the past three years. And yet…

The idea that Carter was alive was oddly scary. What kind of state was he in mentally? And how would he and Brianne pick up where they’d left off?

“Are you sure, Alex?”

“That I want you to come with me? Yeah.”

“No. Are you sure that Carter is alive?”

“One hundred per cent?” Alex shrugged. “I can’t say I’m totally certain. All I know is that the guy looked a heck of a lot like Carter. If we all knew Carter to be alive and well, I wouldn’t doubt it was him on TV. Absolutely not. But because he’s been gone for three years, I can’t be totally sure. But my gut…I’ve got to go with it.”

“So what I thought all along is possibly true,” Brianne said, her voice filling with hope. “He got lost on that mountain. Disoriented. Maybe he fell and hit his head and that caused him to lose his memory. Or he experienced some other trauma.”

Brianne slowly rose as she spoke, and the look on her face…it was like a stab in Alex’s heart. Because he knew that what she was imagining—a happy reunion, the continuation of the future she thought had come to an end—wasn’t going to happen.

But until he found Carter, Brianne would have to be in the dark. It was the only way.

“That’s a possibility,” Carter said, noncommittally. Truthfully, he couldn’t rule it out. But in his heart, he didn’t believe it. Seeing Carter’s face that day, that happy, carefree smile—and seeing him at an event both he and Carter had always enjoyed—well, Alex didn’t believe for a second that Carter didn’t know who he was. And if he hadn’t at first but now did, why not return home? But that was not something he was going to share with Brianne. At least not yet.

“It wouldn’t explain how he got across the Canadian border,” Brianne said, talking to herself mostly, “but maybe he hiked the Rockies back into America. Anything’s possible.”

“You’ve got that right,” Alex agreed, a tinge of bitterness in his voice.

But Brianne missed the tone. Facing him, she clasped her hands tightly together. “Alex, I’m shaking.”

Alex swallowed, trying not to show any particular emotion. He wanted nothing more than to get up, pull Brianne into his arms and hold her tight.

His eyes roamed over her, from her trembling hands to her trim physique to her widened eyes. Lord, she was a vision. She was thinner. That had changed. She’d obviously spent a good amount of time working out since he’d last seen her. What hadn’t changed was that she was still as cute as a button.

It was what he’d thought the first moment he’d seen her. She had walked into the store wearing black pants and a tank top that hugged her beautiful curves. Alex had stepped in her direction, instantly intrigued. But then Carter had made a beeline for her, and that had been that. Alex had lost his chance to pursue anything with Brianne.

“Alex?”

“Hmm?” He looked up at her. He hadn’t heard a word she’d said.

“I asked if you really want to do this. Head to Florida?”

He cleared his throat before speaking. “I think it warrants investigation, yes.”

Brianne nodded, then bit down on her bottom lip. She looked vulnerable as she stared at some point ahead of her, probably not really seeing anything, just lost in her thoughts.

She suddenly shifted her gaze to his, as though she had caught him staring. Alex moved his eyes.

“What if you’re wrong?” she asked softly.

Alex looked at her and shrugged. “Don’t you want to know? One way or another? ”

“To tell the truth…I’m not sure. I…I don’t know if I could handle getting my hopes up, only to learn that you saw someone who looked like him.”

“I know what you mean,” Alex said. “But the way things are now, we don’t know—”

“And what if he’s got this whole other life—which he’d have to, right? A life that doesn’t include me?”

“You mean assuming he has amnesia?”

“Yes.” She looked scared suddenly, and something inside Alex’s gut stirred. “If he’s been missing all this time, he must have suffered some type of memory loss. What if he’s got a family?” She swallowed. “I don’t want…I’m not sure I could handle that.”

“Even if he’s got a new family, he’s still got his family back here. Parents who grieved for his loss. Friends. You.” He paused, looked at her pointedly. “He deserves to know about the people he’s left behind.”

Brianne began to pace. “Maybe you’re right. But if it does turn out to be Carter, his parents will always be his parents. I’m just a woman he used to love. He’s probably forgotten all about me.”

Alex stood and walked toward Brianne, stopping only when he was directly in front of her. He placed his hands on her shoulders. “You’re more that that,” he said, then took a breath, hoping she didn’t pick up on the double meaning behind his words. All this time he hadn’t seen her, and yet he was still attracted to her.

His best friend’s girl.

Former best friend’s girl.

“Weren’t you the one who didn’t want to give up hope?” he asked. “The one who thought for sure that I was wrong, that Carter was out there alive somewhere?” She nodded, but Alex saw pain in her eyes. “Wouldn’t you feel better knowing he was alive, even if he’s got a new life?”

“I don’t know,” Brianne said softly. “Maybe.”

“Then we work together. We hit the streets in Florida. We find out if Carter is still alive. Once we know for sure, we can decide what to do next.”

Brianne stepped away from Alex and hugged her torso. “You can do it without me.”

“Maybe. But we both knew Carter, and I think it’ll be easier—”

“I can’t.”

“Of course you can.”

She shook her head.

Alex didn’t want to pressure her, but she couldn’t say no. He needed her. “I know it won’t be easy, but I’ll be there with you every step of the way.”

“This is all too much to process right now. I need time. Will you give me that?”

“Of course,” he said. “Absolutely. I’ll give you my number and you call me whenever.”

“I’m not making any promises.”

“That’s fine.” Alex wasn’t about to pressure her, even if he needed her. Brianne would want to know. He felt that in his heart. She would think things over and then call him and tell him she wanted to help him find Carter.

At least he hoped so.

Because she had the key to finding Carter.

“I’ve got a business card in the car. I’ll go get it.”

Brianne nodded.

Alex went to the front door and jogged down the steps. There was a chill in the November air, reminiscent of the day he and Carter had gone into the mountain three years ago. Three years that had changed his life.

Because Carter hadn’t just destroyed him emotionally when he’d disappeared on that mountain. If Alex was right, he had taken the one thing from him more precious than any money.

While he and Carter had been in hiking the Canadian Rockies, someone had ransacked Alex’s home, emptying the safe of not only its cash but of a family heirloom that meant the world to him.

On her deathbed, Alex’s mother had given him a ring that had once belonged to her mother. His mother had told him that since she hadn’t had any daughters, she was passing the antique diamond engagement ring to him. That he should give it to the woman he would ultimately marry.

The memory burned him as he retrieved a business card from his car. At the time, he’d considered it a cruel twist of fate that his home had been robbed at the same time that his friend went missing. Now, he didn’t think it a coincidence at all.

His gut told him it was all a part of Carter’s plan.

Alex went back to Brianne’s front door. She swung the door open before he could.

To his surprise, he saw tears in her eyes.

“Brianne,” he said with alarm. “Are you okay?”

She wiped at her eyes and forced a smile. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just overwhelmed, is all.”

Guilt slammed into him. Maybe it was unfair to involve her in his plan. She had gone through so much as it was…

“I’ll be fine,” she told him. “You have your card?”

“Yeah,” he replied and passed it to her. “The office number is on there, and my cell. You can reach me anytime.”

Nodding, she accepted the card. “Okay. I’ll call you.”

“I’ll talk to you later, then,” Alex said.

“Mmm hmm.”

Again, he was struck by her loveliness, and her vulnerability. His heart quickened.

Ignoring the feeling, he turned away from her and trotted down the steps.

He hoped it wasn’t a mistake to involve her in this. And yet, he didn’t know of another way.

He had to do what he had to do to get back what was taken from him.

Alex could live without the money that had been stolen from his place. Insurance had replaced it, anyway. But the ring that had meant so much to his mother. That was irreplaceable.

Alex wanted it back. And he intended to get it.

Chapter 3

Brianne went to the living room’s front window and peered outside. Alex’s car was still there, as if he were waiting for something. But moments later, she heard the engine turn over and his sleek and expensive Mercedes drove away from the curb. Only when his car was out of view did she ease back and let her body fall onto the plush sofa.

Carter. Alive. Could it be possible?

Brianne pulled her knees onto the sofa, holding them close to her chest. Her head was spinning. She felt more ambiguous than hopeful, more confused as opposed to certain about what she should do.

Why now? she thought. Why at a point when she had just resolved to let go of any hope that Carter was alive had Alex shown up at her door?

Was this a sign from God? A sign that she should not be giving up on Carter?

Brianne sat for several minutes, holding Alex’s card in her palm. What had happened was so bizarre that she almost couldn’t be sure if she were dreaming.

But she was awake, no doubt about it, which meant that what had just happened had actually happened.

She glanced down at the card in her hand. The name ALEX THORPE was written in big, bold letters. She didn’t know what was more unsettling, Alex’s sudden appearance at her door or what he’d told her.

Carter. Alive. How long she had waited to hear those words… Why wasn’t she jumping for joy?

Brianne got up from the sofa and went to her bedroom. Her best friend, Salina, was in New York pursuing her career as a chef and her new man. Brianne called her cell but got no answer. Again. The last she had heard from Salina was two weeks ago, and she’d said that she was working long hours, was stressed but that otherwise all was good.

“Hey, girl,” Brianne said when the voice mail picked up. “Something major just happened. Call me. I need to talk to someone.”

Unable to reach Salina, Brianne went to the closet, retrieved her suitcase and found the travel documents she’d had for her sister’s wedding at the Gran Bahia Principe hotel in Jamaica. She didn’t like the idea of disturbing Shayna while she was on her honeymoon, but this was an emergency.

She called the hotel in Jamaica. Within minutes, she was connected to her sister’s room.

After the third ring, Brianne thought no one was going to answer. Not that she expected them to. Either Shayna and Donovan were out enjoying an evening show at the resort, or they were doing what honeymooners did best. But just before the fourth ring, someone picked up the receiver.

Brianne heard some shuffling, and then, “Hello?”

“Shayna!” Brianne exclaimed, happy to hear her sister’s voice. She didn’t realize until that exact moment how much she needed her sister right now.

“Brianne?”

“I’m sorry to call you on your honeymoon. I wouldn’t have called if it wasn’t very, very important.” Brianne heard Donovan ask something along the lines of if she was okay. “Yes, tell Donovan I’m okay. Well, actually I’m not too sure that I am.”

“What’s going on, Bree?” Shayna asked, her voice laced with concern. “Oh, of course. How could I have forgotten? It’s today. The three-year anniversary.”

“Oh, Shay.” A little sob escaped Brianne. “I just talked to Alex, and he said something. Something that’s hard to believe.”

“Alex? As in Carter’s best friend?”

“Yes.”

“I thought he’d left Buffalo.”

“So did I. But apparently he’s back.”

“He just called out of the blue?”

“He came to the house.”

“Oh, God.” Shayna’s voice was barely a whisper, and Brianne knew her sister was coming to the same conclusion she had. “They found Carter’s remains.”

“That’s what I thought, too, when I saw him. But Shay, he said something that has me reeling. He thinks…” Brianne paused, inhaled deeply. “He thinks that Carter’s alive.”

“What? How?”

Brianne took the next few minutes to fill her sister in, tell her everything Alex had said. “He wants me to go to Florida to help find Carter. But I don’t think I can. I mean, what if it was just a look-alike Alex saw? It’s been so hard for me already, trying to deal with the unrealistic likelihood that Carter might come back one day. In so many ways, it might have been easier if I’d just accepted that he had died. So what if we get to Florida and find this person and it’s not Carter after all? I don’t know if I can deal with that.”

“I don’t even know what to say, sis. I’m totally in shock.”

Again, Brianne heard Donovan speaking, and then she heard Shayna’s muffled voice as she filled her husband in on what was happening.

“A part of me is too scared to hope,” Brianne said. “But what if Carter is alive and he needs me? Or what if he’s alive and he’s got this whole new life that I won’t fit into?”

“I’d want to know,” Shayna said. “If you go and learn that it was simply a Carter look-alike, that’ll probably help you with closure. You can probably put to bed the idea of Carter ever coming back. But if you go and discover that against all odds Carter is alive… Yes, it would be hard to find out that he was involved with someone else, but will it be any easier wondering?”

Shayna had a good point. “Not really. No. It’s the wondering that has been so hard these past years.”

“Then again, Alex could deal with this on his own and report back to you what he finds. Especially if he learns that Carter has a wife and kids.”

A wife and kids. The words made a lump form in Brianne’s throat. She always thought that she would be Carter’s wife and the mother of his children.

“I’m sorry,” Shayna said. “I shouldn’t have said that.”

“No, don’t apologize. Nothing about this situation is sweet and rosy. I have to accept that.”

A beat passed, then Shayna asked, “What do you want to do?”

“I don’t know. That’s why I called you. To get your input.”

“Truthfully, I think that Alex probably saw a guy who looked a lot like Carter, but I doubt it was him. If Carter were alive, then he would have needed medical attention at some point. The authorities would certainly have been called. Then there’s the issue of him coming back to America without his identification. Brianne, I can’t see this person truly being him.”

“But there was no body.” Brianne spoke the words more to herself, thinking about the amount of times she had refused to believe Carter dead simply because his jacket and backpack had been found.

“I know,” Shayna agreed. “But you know what the authorities think. And there was enough blood on the jacket that they believed there had to have been some sort of attack.”

“Yes, yes, I know.” Brianne sighed. “Sorry, Shay. I’m not trying to be testy. It’s just…I still can’t think about what might have happened to Carter. It’s too hard.”

“Brianne, you have to decide what’s best for you to do. If you think going to Florida will help, then go. But if it’s going to be more painful than anything, then I think you shouldn’t do it.”

“I thought you said you’d want to know.”

“I did, yes. But when I really think about it, the likelihood of it—and how your emotions will get dragged through the ringer again—I don’t think it’s worth it. That said, I’ll support whatever decision you make.”

“I know you will,” Brianne said softly. “Thanks for listening. I’m sorry I disturbed you.”

“Are you kidding? I’m glad you called. I’m just sorry that you’re there by yourself dealing with this.”

“Tell Donovan hi. I’m gonna let you go.”

“All right. But, Bree, if you need to talk again, don’t hesitate to call back.”

Brianne heard the note of concern in Shayna’s voice and loved her sister for it. If not for Shayna, Brianne might not have come out of the dark days of depression after Carter’s disappearance.

“Go back to whatever it is you two lovebirds were doing,” Brianne said, injecting humor into her voice. “I’ll see you when you get back.”

“Take care, sis. I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Brianne said.

Brianne ended the call and sat in the dark room, her thoughts once again going back to Carter. More specifically, to the day she had learned from Alex that Carter hadn’t come off of the mountain.

Never in her life had she gone through a more emotionally wrenching time. For a twenty-four-year-old, deeply in love and losing the man she adored—it had been too much to bear.

Of course, she’d been devastated. But she’d been most upset with the searchers and the authorities and everyone who had been willing to write Carter off as dead. Determined to prove them all wrong, she had booked a ticket to head to British Columbia and search the mountain herself if necessary. Her sister had gone with her for support. But while in Canada, Brianne had realized how utterly helpless she was to effect any change. The amount of snow was unbelievable, and she—a woman who couldn’t stand a day of camping in decent weather—was never going to be able to find Carter when the search team couldn’t.

Once the search had been called off and she’d returned home, Brianne had gone into a depression. She had stayed in bed, not eating, not drinking. But her family had been there for her, bringing her plates of food and hot tea. Brianne refused it all until she could no longer starve herself. Then she’d fed her turbulent emotions with food. Within six months, she’d put on the thirty pounds she had spent the year and a half with Carter working off.

She knew how she got when it came to her emotions—unable to truly control them and helpless to assuage herself. It was the reason that going to Florida was such a daunting idea for her. If her hopes were once again deflated…

“Sleep on it,” Brianne said softly to herself. “And pray on it. When you wake up, you’ll know what to do.”

She settled in her bed with the rough draft of the novel her sister had just finished. Brianne always read Shayna’s books to give her input before she submitted them to her editor. But despite her sister’s compelling writing, Brianne simply couldn’t lose herself in the fictional historical world.

I think you were right all along. I think Carter’s alive.

Instead of concentrating on the words her sister had written, Brianne kept hearing Alex’s words. Kept seeing the serious look on his face. And something suddenly struck her about the visit, something that she hadn’t picked up on before.

Alex had relayed the news about Carter likely being alive, but he hadn’t seemed happy. He hadn’t seemed excited about the idea of reconnecting with his best friend.

The realization made her feel better. Because she herself wasn’t jumping up and down for joy—something she’d always expected she would do if she’d ever learned that Carter was alive.

Maybe it was all just too surreal to truly accept, given that three years had passed. And they really didn’t know for sure. What point was there in getting all excited, only to learn that this was all a mistake?

Of course both she and Alex were guarded. It only made sense that they keep an emotional guard up until they learned the truth.

“Lord, help me deal with this,” Brianne whispered. “If Carter’s alive, help me truly deal with all of what’s to come.”

You could want something so badly, yet when it happened you were unprepared for it.

Brianne lowered the manuscript pages. That was also it, she realized. Not just the uncertainty of not knowing if Alex was right about having seen Carter, but the reality that she was unprepared for the unexpected news Alex had delivered—no matter how much she had wished for it. In the early months or even after the first year, had Alex told her that he suspected Carter was alive, she would have been elated. Now, with the amount of time that had passed, there was so much to consider in the event that Carter had somehow escaped death. Because she was not foolish enough to believe that she was just going to pick up the pieces with him and everything would easily go back to the way it was.

She looked at her bedside phone, then at the card Alex had given her that rested on the table beside the phone. She wanted to call Alex now, to confide in him her fears. To talk candidly about the ambiguity she was feeling. She sensed that Alex would tell her that he had his own reservations about how all of this would play out.

Of course, it was different for him. He had been Carter’s friend. That was different than being a lover. He could easily pick up and continue as Carter’s friend in a way she wasn’t sure she would be able to easily continue on as the special woman in his life.

She picked up the card, stared at the phone number. And then she lifted the receiver.

But just as quickly she returned the receiver to its cradle. What was she going to say to him? Ask him all the same questions she had asked him earlier?

There was a part of her that simply wanted to hear his voice, to know that today hadn’t been a dream. But it was after nine. She didn’t want to disturb Alex.

After all, what if he weren’t alone?

An odd twinge came with the thought. In all the time she’d known him, she hadn’t known him to have a serious girlfriend. Carter had said that Alex was the consummate playboy. Gorgeous. Rich. He could have his pick of women, and, from what Carter had said, tended to like models.

Brianne was the exact opposite of his type. She was five-foot-five and voluptuous, with curves she had to work to keep in a nice proportion. Not tall and thin.

Not that it mattered. Why was she even thinking about that?

What mattered now was not getting Alex’s hopes up until she made a decision. When she called him, it would be to tell him whether or not she had decided to accompany him to Florida.

If you think going to Florida will help, then go. But if it’s going to be more painful than anything, then I think you shouldn’t do it.

Remembering Shayna’s words gave Brianne a sense of comfort. Her sister was right. She didn’t have to do anything she didn’t want to do—especially if it was painful.

And Brianne didn’t know if she could handle seeing Carter if he didn’t remember her.

Worse, she didn’t know if she could handle seeing him if he were involved with someone else.