Kitabı oku: «Baby It's Cold Outside»

Contents

Cover

Blurb

Praise

Book List

Title Page

Copyright

Author Bio

Acknowledgement

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Chapter 28

Chapter 29

Chapter 30

Chapter 31

Chapter 32

Chapter 33

Chapter 34

Chapter 35

Chapter 36

Chapter 37

Chapter 38

Chapter 39

Chapter 40

Chapter 41

Chapter 42

Chapter 43

Excerpt

Endpages

About the Publisher

Friday

Chapter 1

I was happy. Really happy. So happy my cheeks hurt from smiling. I found Jamie’s hand under the table and squeezed his fingers. He turned to me and grinned.

‘We’re getting married,’ he said.

‘I know!’

‘Finally,’ my cousin Harmony – who was always called Harry – said with an arch of her perfectly shaped eyebrow. I scowled at her across the empty dinner plates, but I wasn’t going to let her spoil my mood, not tonight.

We’d just arrived in Claddach, the tiny Highland town where we’d grown up, and we were enjoying a welcome family dinner. My mum was there, my sharp-tongued cousin Harry and her wife Louise, and Harry’s mum, Suky – my mum’s twin sister. It was brilliant.

In exactly one week and one day from now, Jamie and I would be married. Harry was right, it had taken us a long time to get here, but now we had arrived. And everything was going to be perfect.

‘Can I just say,’ I said looking round the table. ‘That I am so excited and relieved to finally be here. I know this week – and of course Saturday itself – is going to be the best week of my – of our – lives.’

Mum, who was sitting on the other side of me to Jamie, squeezed my arm.

‘It’s going to be wonderful,’ she said.

A commotion at the back door made us all look round, and our great friends Eva and Allan fell into the kitchen, stamping snow from their boots.

‘It’s coming down very heavily out there,’ Eva said in her brisk Yorkshire accent. ‘It’s bloody freezing.’

She spotted me and swooped, gathering me into her considerable chest and hugging me so tightly I couldn’t speak.

‘There’s nothing of you, love,’ she said. ‘Have you been doing that five:three diet?’

I wriggled out of her hug and grinned. Eva always told me and Harry – and now Louise too – we were too thin.

‘I’ve got a dress to fit into,’ I said. ‘A beautiful, wonderful dress.’ I looked at Allan. ‘How’s everything at the café?’

‘It’s grand,’ Allan said, pulling up a chair. We all shuffled round, and almost imperceptibly the table seemed to grow, just enough, so we all fitted. I glanced at Mum and she winked at me.

Allan produced a fat, green cardboard file.

‘We’re all set,’ he said. Jamie and I were getting married at the café that was owned by Mum, Suky and Eva. It had a gallery upstairs, called The Room Upstairs, which was run by artist Allan, and where they held functions. Its big windows gave it an amazing view over the loch, and it was the ideal venue for our wedding.

Allan opened the folder.

‘Hang on,’ I said. I waggled my fingers over the table, which was covered in dirty plates, and watched in satisfaction as they all rose into the air in a shower of pink sparks and stacked themselves neatly in the dishwasher.

‘Ah witchcraft,’ said Jamie happily, leaning back in his chair and taking a sip of wine. ‘It makes life so much easier.’

He was right. I came from a family of witches – me, Mum, Suky and Harry all had the gift. We could clear a dirty kitchen with a flick of the wrist, produce bottles of wine on a whim, and help people with all sorts of problems. Mum, Suky and Eva – who was also a witch – enchanted the cakes and biscuits they sold at the café. Sometimes the help they gave was asked for, sometimes it wasn’t, but it always worked. Harry had built a whole career out of her talents, with a website for witches called Inharmony.com and a luxury spa in Edinburgh where she offered up spells on demand for extortionate prices. Me, I was a lawyer and for years I’d shied away from my witchcraft. Now, though, I embraced it – mostly. Jamie, who was a doctor like both his parents, loved that I could tidy our tiny house in seconds or find a taxi in the pouring rain.

Now though, my mind was on wedding stuff, not spells.

I spread the contents of Allan’s folder all over the table.

‘So we’re going to divide the room and have the ceremony in the smaller end and dinner at the other,’ I said. ‘And after dinner everyone can go downstairs to the cafe to give us time to move the tables and chairs to one side for the dancing.’

‘We’ve got a DJ,’ Jamie said. ‘But we’re hoping some people might play as well.’

Claddach was a haven for all sorts of creative types – a bit like St Ives in Cornwall, or Totnes in Devon. There were writers, poets, artists, potters, jewellery makers and lots of musicians. Allan’s gallery served as a hub for them all and he often ran writers’ groups, readings, concerts and classes alongside his exhibitions. Someone was bound to bring a guitar, or a violin, or even a drum kit, to our wedding.

‘There’s nothing really left to do,’ I said. ‘Not until that photography exhibition closes and we can get into the gallery to decorate.’

‘Wednesday is the last day,’ Allan said. ‘It’s all yours after that.’

I grinned, excited by the idea of decorating my wedding room.

‘What colours have you chosen?’ Suky asked.

‘Light blue, silver and white,’ I said. ‘I wanted it to have a frosty feel.’

Jamie and I had both grown up in Claddach, which was nestled in a valley in the Cairngorms. We loved winter and had deliberately chosen to have our wedding at this time of year to make the most of the snow that was almost guaranteed. We’d not been disappointed. It had started to snow as we got ready to leave Edinburgh, where we lived, and by the time we arrived in Claddach the town was already wrapped in a cosy blanket of the white stuff. I was delighted. It was like I’d ordered the weather specially and even though my mum, aunt and cousin were brilliant witches, that was one thing that was definitely out of their remit.

‘And the dresses for Chloe and Harry are this silvery blue?’ Suky found a fabric swatch in among the documents on the table and held it up.

‘Yes, and Jamie and Frankie’s ties are the same colour,’ I said. ‘Remember Frankie?’

Mum and Suky nodded. They had known Jamie’s best friend – gorgeous, funny, unreliable Frankie – since we were at school, though they hadn’t seen him for years.

‘The dresses are gorgeous,’ I winked at Harry who hadn’t wanted to be a bridesmaid in the first place. ‘Bias cut, a bit slinky – more like evening gowns really. Chloe wanted to cover her tummy so hers is a bit more draped than Harry’s.’

Chloe was my best friend from school. She lived just outside Claddach with her husband, Rob, and their three kids. Her smallest child, Euan, had just turned two and she was still a bit self-conscious about what she called her “mum tum”.

‘Did you manage to sort out who’s sitting where,’ Mum asked. We’d had many discussions on the phone about how to arrange the tables. ‘I did,’ I said, pleased with myself. ‘Do you have the table plans, Allan?’

‘Oh god, not table plans,’ Harry said, rather unfairly in my opinion. I’d been nothing but supportive when she and Louise tied the knot last year. She drained her wine glass and looked at her wife.

‘Shall we go for a walk before the snow gets too bad?’ she said. Lou, who loved nothing more than being outside, whatever the weather and whatever the activity on offer, nodded eagerly.

‘Erm, before you go,’ Mum said, looking nervous. ‘I’ve got some news.’

My heart plummeted into my slippers. Just a couple of years ago, Suky – Mum’s twin sister – had been treated for breast cancer. She was doing well now, but that fear – the fear of the cancer returning or someone else I loved suffering – had never gone away.

Now I looked at Mum in horror, seeing my own fear reflected on Harry’s face.

‘Oh it’s nothing bad,’ Mum said shrilly. ‘It’s good in fact. Very good.’

She gave a funny self-conscious laugh.

‘I’ve met someone. A man.’

There was a pause, then Harry clapped her hands in delight.

‘Auntie Tess, you old dog,’ she said. ‘Who is he?’

Mum visibly relaxed and beamed at Harry.

‘He’s called Douglas,’ she said, blushing. I’d never seen my mum blush before. ‘He’s lovely.’

I couldn’t speak. Mum had split up with my dad before I was born. She’d never, as far as I knew, had a relationship since.

‘Douglas?’ I muttered. ‘Who is this Douglas? Can we meet him?’

Mum glanced at Suky.

‘He’s from the village,’ she said. ‘He runs his own business.’

‘What kind of business?’ I snapped. Jamie put a warning hand on my arm.

‘A family business,’ Suky said soothingly. ‘I’ve met him. He’s very nice. And he’s coming up for a drink now, isn’t he Tess?’

Mum nodded.

‘He’s on his way,’ she said. ‘He just texted me.’

‘Oh brilliant,’ I said, knowing I was being very childish. ‘So you just dump this on us, then before we’ve even had time to take it all in, he arrives?’

Mum looked a bit sheepish.

‘I did mean to tell you earlier,’ she said. ‘Sorry.’

I shrugged.

‘Bit late for that,’ I said. Jamie kicked me under the table.

‘He sounds great,’ he said in a very pointed fashion. ‘I’m looking forward to meeting him, Tess.’

I kicked him back. Harder. And then the doorbell rang.

Mum blushed again and hurried off to answer it. I heard muffled voices and then she appeared back in the kitchen followed by a tall man with olive skin. He was in his sixties I guessed – a similar age to my mum – and was wearing a thick waterproof jacket, jeans, a woolly hat and snow boots. He smiled at us all a bit nervously, and pulled the hat from his head, revealing closely cropped dark hair with a sprinkling of grey.

‘Hello,’ he said. ‘I’m Doug.’

‘This is my daughter Esme,’ Mum said. I smiled at Douglas though inside I was scowling and nodded “hello”. ‘And her fiancé Jamie.’

Jamie stood up and shook Douglas’s hand. Harry and Louise did the same as Mum introduced them, too.

‘Why don’t we all go into the living room,’ Mum said. ‘We can have a drink and relax.’

Eva and Allan – who apparently were already well acquainted with Douglas – said their goodbyes, leaving the wedding folder for me to look at, and headed out into the snow. The rest of us trooped into the lounge and I deliberately sat as far away from Mum and Douglas as possible.

‘Tess said you’ve got a family business,’ Harry, who was a brilliant businesswoman herself and who’d obviously abandoned her idea of going for a walk, said. ‘What do you do?’

Douglas looked slightly nervous again.

‘We run a funeral home,’ he said. ‘Me and my brother and my niece.’

I was horrified.

‘Dead people,’ I said. ‘Do you do all the embalming and stuff?’ I looked at Mum wondering how she could let him touch her with hands that spent all day touching cold, clammy dead flesh.

‘Actually no,’ Douglas said, shifting in his seat. ‘I look after the business side of things – the finances – it’s my brother Cameron who deals with the deceased and my niece Kirsty oversees all the arrangements. It works well for us.’

I wasn’t convinced.

‘So you’re an accountant for a funeral home,’ I pointed out, a bit too abruptly

Jamie nudged me.

‘You’re being very rude,’ he hissed. ‘Be nice.’

But I couldn’t. I knew I was being horrible but somehow I couldn’t help myself. Mum was mine. Unless you counted Suky – who was kind of mine too – I’d never shared Mum with anyone. Not my dad, who was lovely but had lived miles away my whole life, and not any siblings. It had just been me and her forever. And now she’d brought this man, this undertaker, into our relationship – just in time for my wedding? It was terrible.

I sat in silence, unable to think of anything to say, while Douglas charmed Harry and Lou, chatted with Jamie about rugby and made Suky and Mum laugh. He tried to ask me about the wedding but my monosyllabic answers soon put him off.

I stared out of the window at the snow, which was falling fast and watched a car crawl slowly up the hill towards our house, its lights bouncing off the snowflakes. It stopped outside our house.

‘Someone’s coming,’ I said. ‘Are we expecting anyone else?’

I looked at Mum.

‘No more men you’ve invited?’

‘Stop it,’ said Jamie under his breath. ‘Just stop it.’

Harry stood up and looked out the window.

‘It’s a woman and a wee boy,’ she said. ‘Must be going next door. That snow’s terrible – you might not get back down the hill tonight, Doug.’

She winked at Douglas and I flinched, determined not to rise to her teasing.

Then the doorbell rang. I looked at Mum who shrugged.

‘God, that poor woman must have come to the wrong house. In this weather,’ I said. ‘I’ll go and see.’

I opened the front door. A woman stood there, wrapped in a beautiful coat, with a small sleepy boy in her arms.

‘Hi,’ she said. ‘I’m looking for Jamie Brodie. Is he here?’

Chapter 2

‘Jamie Brodie,’ I repeated, stupidly. ‘Yes he’s here.’

The woman looked relieved.

‘Oh thank god,’ she said, and for the first time I noticed she had an American accent. ‘I’m beat, and so is Parker,’ she tilted her head towards the little boy, whose head lolled on her shoulder. ‘And it’s freezing.’

I suddenly realised the snow was whirling round us, and piling up on the doorstep.

‘Come in,’ I said. I wondered if she needed a doctor. ‘Jamie’s in the living room. Are you ill? Is it your little boy?’

‘Oh he’s just tired,’ she said, following me into the lounge. ‘It’s been a long day.’

Everyone looked up as we came in.

‘Jamie,’ I said. ‘You’ve got a visitor.’

Jamie stood up, his face pale.

‘Tansy,’ he said. ‘God, Tansy. What are you doing here?’

The woman gave him a half-smile.

‘Hi,’ she said. She took a step towards him, awkwardly, her little boy’s feet banging against her knees.

‘Oh here,’ Mum stood up. ‘Put your wee one down – he’s dead on his feet.’

The woman laid the little boy carefully on the couch, stroking his hair lovingly, then turned to Jamie again.

‘Hello,’ she said again.

Jamie went towards her and they kissed on the cheek, uncomfortably.

‘Esme,’ he said. ‘This is Tansy.’

‘Tansy,’ I gasped, as I realised why the name rang a bell. ‘Your ex-fiancée?’

Jamie swallowed.

‘Yes,’ he said. ‘Tansy, this is Esme.’

‘His current fiancée,’ I said, frostily. I held out my hand for her to shake. She ignored it and instead pulled me into a hug. I went limp in her embrace. My perfect evening was turning into a bloody nightmare.

‘Shit,’ she said. ‘This is quite a welcoming committee.’

She looked round at my family and they all stared back at her.

‘We’re getting married on Saturday,’ I blurted out. ‘That’s why everyone’s here.’

‘Shit,’ Tansy said again. ‘Oh shit. I knew it was soon but… this Saturday?’

Mum sprang into action.

‘Take your coat off,’ she said. ‘Sit down – you must be exhausted. Can I get you a drink?’

Tansy shrugged her gorgeous coat off and ran her fingers through her hair, which was damp from the snow. She smiled at Mum, but I got the impression she was actually close to bursting into tears.

‘I could really use a glass of wine,’ she said. ‘If there’s one going?’

‘Of course,’ Mum said. She turned away slightly and I watched as a glass of wine appeared in her hand. She handed it to Tansy, who took it without questioning how quickly it had arrived.

She took a gulp, then another.

Mum, Jamie and I were still standing up. Everyone else – Suky, Harry, Louise and Douglas, were all sitting down and we were all staring at Tansy in expectation. She realised we were all waiting for her to explain her presence and gave Jamie a weak smile.

‘Jamie,’ she said. ‘I am so sorry to just arrive like this.’ She rubbed her eyes and I realised how exhausted she looked. In spite of who she was, I felt sorry for her.

‘We’ve been to Edinburgh,’ Tansy went on, giving a little laugh that suggested she didn’t think it was funny. ‘I went to your house and your neighbour was so nice. She gave us a drink and she said you’d come up here. She gave me the address.’

‘Mrs Wilkie,’ I muttered. She was nice as neighbours went, but now I cursed her hospitality.

‘We got the train, and then a cab,’ Tansy explained. ‘But I didn’t realise how long it would take. Scotland’s bigger than I thought.’

I looked at Jamie, but he wasn’t listening to Tansy. Actually, he barely looked at her. Instead he stared at the little boy, who was curled up on the sofa, fast asleep, his dark curls spread out on the cushion.

‘The little boy,’ he said, in an odd voice. ‘Your little boy. How old is he?’

I took his hand, knowing where he was going.

Tansy looked at Jamie.

‘He’s five,’ she said. She closed her eyes as if she was bracing herself for what Jamie would say next.

‘And is he,’ Jamie started. His voice trembled. ‘Is he…’

Tansy nodded.

‘He’s your son,’ she whispered. ‘I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.’

Jamie sat down, quickly, on a footstool. He was so pale, I was worried he was going to pass out.

‘We’re going up to bed,’ Harry said. I looked at her in surprise – I’d almost forgotten she was there. Louise gave Jamie’s arm a squeeze as she went by and shot me a sympathetic smile.

‘I’m going to put the kettle on,’ Mum said. She went out of the room, followed by Suky and Douglas.

I felt sick. Jamie hadn’t said a word. Tansy was staring at him, holding her wine glass but not drinking.

‘Just so we’re all sure,’ I said, my voice a bit louder than it needed to be. ‘Just so we all know exactly what’s going on here. You have turned up at my mum’s house, one week before my wedding, to tell my fiancé that he has a son? Is that it? Are there any more secrets you want to reveal, or are you going to wait until the reception?’

Tansy put her wine glass down and stood up. She was wearing a grey jumper dress and boots and she was taller than me. She took a step towards Jamie, then stopped.

‘Jamie,’ she said. ‘Honey.’

I flinched at the endearment.

‘Jamie,’ she said again. ‘I know this is difficult. If you can just let me explain.’

He looked her straight in the eye.

‘Oh you’re going to explain,’ he said. I’d never heard him quite so angry. Well, maybe once, but I didn’t like thinking about that time. ‘Talk.’

Tansy sat down again while Jamie leaned against the fireplace like a disapproving Victorian father. I sat down on the sofa opposite Tansy.

‘I don’t know where to start,’ she said, picking up her wine again.

‘Well how about,’ Jamie said, ‘you start at the beginning and you carry on until the part where you arrive on my doorstep with a kid?’

His voice was very calm, but I could tell he was very close to exploding. Tansy obviously knew it too. She took a breath.

‘Things were pretty bad between us at the end, remember?’ she said. Jamie nodded, grim-faced.

‘You were talking about coming back to the UK, and I thought there was more to do in Africa…’ She looked into her almost-full wine glass, then back up at Jamie. ‘I said some horrible things to you.’

‘I can help people here, too,’ Jamie said.

Tansy nodded.

‘I know that now,’ she said. ‘I was a bit worthy back then.’

The ghost of a smile crossed Jamie’s lips.

‘You mean you were wrong,’ he said.

Tansy gave him a look that was verging on disdainful.

‘The day before you left,’ she said. ‘Remember how awful it was?’

‘Kids died all the time,’ Jamie said, turning to me. His eyes were distant as he remembered. ‘You never got used to it, but we lived with it. We got on with helping the ones we could help. But that day was rough. There was a lot of malaria about and it seemed all the kids nearby were suffering. We had a queue outside the centre, we were letting in as many patients as we could but we had kids sharing beds. It was heartbreaking…’

Tansy shifted on the sofa and stroked her little boy’s hair. Her eyes were full of tears.

‘That day, so many died,’ Jamie went on. ‘So many. And all I could hear was the women crying, wailing, for their lost children.’ He shook his head. ‘But the kids never cried. They just lay there, so weak, looking up at us. Trusting us to make them better. And we couldn’t.’ He swallowed. I was close to tears too but I didn’t want to interrupt his story.

‘I was upset,’ Tansy said. ‘Jamie and I hadn’t been intimate for weeks, months maybe. But that night, I just wanted to be close to someone. To feel…’

‘Yeah, okay,’ I said. I really didn’t need to hear the details of MY Jamie’s make-up sex with this woman. ‘I get the idea.’

Tansy turned her attention to Jamie.

‘And then, when I woke up, you were packing,’ she said. ‘And we fought again. And then you left.’

Jamie shrugged.

‘It was the right thing to do,’ he said. ‘If I’d stayed we’d have been in a never-ending cycle of making up and breaking up.’

‘You’re right,’ Tansy said. ‘You’re right. And then I got sick. Really sick. I had malaria too. First they took me to hospital in Mombasa – then, when I was strong enough, I flew home.’ She paused. ‘I don’t remember much about it.’

Jamie didn’t speak. Tansy twirled her wine glass in her hand. I willed her to drink some more so I could legitimately top up her glass – and mine – but she didn’t.

‘When I’d been home a few days the doctor told me I was pregnant,’ she said. ‘I was shocked at first, but it was knowing that I had a reason to recover that got me through.’

I thought about saying something, then Jamie gave me a warning glance and I thought better of it.

‘I was a mess, Jamie,’ Tansy said. ‘I was weak and depressed, and I didn’t know what to do. By the time I’d got it all clear in my head, Parker was born. Then there was baby stuff, and work…’

‘Work?’ Jamie prompted.

‘At the hospital in Boston,’ she said. ‘And one day a week at a mobile clinic working with pregnant women in the suburbs.’

‘You’re helping people at home,’ Jamie said.

She nodded.

‘So there was never a good time to tell you.’

‘Why now?’ I said. ‘Why are you here? Now?’

Tansy looked at her son again. Her son. I still couldn’t think of him as Jamie’s.

‘Parker got sick,’ she began. The hostility I’d been feeling towards her since she arrived finally spilled over.

‘Oh well isn’t that awful,’ I said, my voice laced with possibly unforgivable sarcasm. ‘So what is it you want from Jamie? A few pints of blood? A smattering of bone marrow? A kidney?’

Tansy flinched as I hissed at her. Then she looked at Jamie again, calmly ignoring my outburst.

‘He’s fine,’ she said. ‘It’s all under control. He’s got …’ she named an illness that I’d never heard of, but Jamie nodded.

‘Is it serious?’ I asked.

Tansy made a so-so gesture with her hand. ‘Could have been,’ she said. ‘It affects his digestion so when he first got sick he got really thin and he had no energy. It was awful. He was disappearing in front of my eyes. He’ll never be cured but we keep an eye on his diet, and there are pills he can have if it gets bad. Sometimes he has to go into hospital if he has a really bad attack but that’s not happened for a while.’

Jamie looked thoughtful.

‘It’s hereditary, right?’

‘Can be,’ Tansy said. ‘I’ve been tested and I don’t have it, so it could be you.’

Jamie shook his head, as though he couldn’t quite believe what he was hearing. I didn’t blame him.

‘And of course this affects you too,’ Tansy said, looking at me again. ‘I heard you were getting married and I wanted to warn you that any kids you have could have it too.’

I stared at her. This was too much to take in.

‘I was going to email you,’ Tansy went on. ‘But Mom went mad. She said I had to do it face to face.’

‘She sounds like a very sensible woman, your mother,’ Mum said, from the doorway.

We all jumped and I wondered how long she’d been there.

‘Sorry to interrupt,’ she said. ‘The weather is terrible, Tansy. Do you have somewhere to go?’

Tansy shook her head.

‘We’re booked into a hotel in Edinburgh,’ she said. ‘I guess we’ll not get back there tonight?’

Mum chuckled.

‘Even without the snow you wouldn’t make it back to Edinburgh at this time of night. I think you and Parker will have to stay the night.’

Tansy looked as though she was going to object, then she glanced at her son, curled up peacefully next to her and smiled at Mum.