Kitabı oku: «The Royals Collection», sayfa 47
If the perfect honeymoon included staying perpetually naked, eating hastily prepared meals on the floor by the fire and making love on a whim, Sam considered it safe to deem the first three days of their honeymoon a success. In fact, he would be a bit sorry when they had to return to real life.
He lay limp on the blanket in front of the fire, listening to the sound of the shower running overhead. He knew he should probably get up and throw something together for breakfast, as he’d promised Anne he would—the woman had a ravenous appetite lately—but he was so comfortable and relaxed he simply couldn’t make himself move. Maybe food could wait, and instead he would pull her back down with him and make love to her one more time first. In the past three days he had mapped and memorized every inch of her, each curve and crevice. There wasn’t a place on her body he hadn’t caressed and kissed. In fact, it was quite possible that he knew her body better than his own.
What continued to astonish him was that, discounting those four months apart, technically, they had known each other the sum total of less than two weeks. Yet he had never felt so comfortable with a woman. With anyone, actually. It was as if they had known one another all their lives. He’d dated his share of women but he had never come close to finding one he could imagine spending the rest of his life with. One who was everything he had ever imagined a wife should be. He was beginning to wonder if he might have found his soul mate. And all because a few intoxicated mates had dared him to ask her to dance.
It was funny how fate worked.
A firm knock on the front door startled him. Sam cursed and pulled himself to his feet, grabbing a throw from the back of the davenport and wrapping it around his waist. As he crossed the room, the words this better be important sat on the tip of his tongue, ready to assault whoever was standing on the other side of the door.
The cool air rushing in didn’t chill him even close to as much as the look on Gunter’s face did. He didn’t look upset, exactly. Gunter didn’t show emotion. But there was something in his eyes that told Sam this wasn’t going to be good news.
“Is urgent call from Prince Christian,” Gunter said, holding out Sam’s cell phone. Sam’s heart lodged somewhere south of his diaphragm.
“Thank you,” he said, taking the phone. Gunter nodded and backed out the door, shutting it behind him. Deep down Sam knew, even before he heard Chris’s solemn tone, what the prince was going to say.
“I’m afraid I have some bad news. The king passed away last night.”
Sam cursed silently. “Chris, I’m so sorry.”
“We’ll need you and Anne back at the castle as soon as possible. I’m sure she’ll want to see him one last time. Before…”
“Of course.”
“Gunter will take you to an airfield not far from the lodge and a chopper will be waiting there. I’ve already arranged for your things to be brought back separately.”
Chris certainly was on top of the situation, and Sam suspected that seeing to all the details was the only thing holding him together.
“Do you want me to tell her, or would you rather do it?” Chris asked.
“I’ll tell her.”
“Tell me what?” Anne asked.
Sam turned to find Anne standing behind him, wearing her robe, her hair still damp. He hadn’t even heard her come down the stairs.
“We’ll see you soon,” Chris said and disconnected.
“Who was that?” Anne asked as he snapped the phone closed.
“Chris.”
“What did he want?” she asked, though her expression said she already suspected.
“I’m afraid he had bad news.”
She took a deep breath. “My father?”
He nodded.
“He’s gone, isn’t he?”
He took her in his arms and held her. “I’m so sorry.”
She pressed her cheek against his chest and he could feel that it was already damp. “I’m not ready for this.”
“I know.” Even if they were ill, and suffering, was anyone ever ready to lose a parent?
Eight
Everyone was surprised to learn that it wasn’t a heart attack. The king had just gone to sleep, and sometime in the night his heart had simply stopped beating. According to the physician, he hadn’t suffered or felt a thing.
The only solace Anne could take was that he was finally at peace. The last few years had been so hard, and he’d put up one hell of a fight, but he had made peace with the fact that it was his time. Even if his family wasn’t ready, he had been.
Chris and Aaron were somber and, like typical men, kept their feelings to themselves. Louisa cried constantly the first day, then miraculously seemed to pull herself together. The worst part was watching her mother cope, knowing that she must have been falling to pieces on the inside, but forcing herself to be strong for her children.
Anne was simply heartbroken. Her father would never know her children, and they would never see firsthand what a wonderful father, and grandfather, what a wonderful man he was. It just didn’t seem fair that someone with so much to live for should be taken far too soon.
When she checked her e-mail the day of the funeral, reading condolences from friends and relatives, she found one from the Gingerbread Man, too. It said simply, Boo Hoo.
Anne had been so furious that she actually picked her laptop up and hurled it at the wall.
Those first few days after the service, she walked around in a fog, functioning on autopilot during the day and falling apart at night in the privacy of their bedroom, crying herself to sleep in Sam’s arms while he stroked her hair and murmured soothing words. He was truly a godsend, taking care of her while dealing with the stresses of a new job.
But as the days passed it started to get easier. She began to focus not on her loss, but her new marriage and the baby who seemed to grow exponentially every day. Gradually everyone seemed to get back to their lives. Within a few weeks she and Sam had fallen into a comfortable routine. Before she knew it the day arrived when it was time for her ultrasound.
She drank what felt like gallons of water, and by the time they got to the royal family’s private wing at the hospital she was in misery. Thank goodness the specialist was in the room and ready for them. When she lay back and exposed her belly he looked a little surprised.
“You’re quite large for twenty-one weeks.”
“Is that bad?” Sam asked, looking worried.
“Every woman carries differently,” the doctor said as he squeezed cold goo on her belly, and used the wand thingy he was holding to spread it around. Images appeared on the screen immediately.
“Hmm.” He nodded, his brow furrowed. “That would explain it.”
Anne’s heart instantly skipped a beat. She simply couldn’t handle any more bad news.
“Is something wrong?” Sam asked.
“Not at all. So far everything looks great. I’ll have to take a few measurements, but development seems to be just where it should be. For both of them.”
At first Anne was confused, thinking he meant her and the baby, then the meaning of his words sank in and she was dumbstruck.
“Are you saying that there are two babies?” Sam asked. “We’re having twins?”
The doctor pointed to the screen. “This is baby A, and over here is baby B.”
“But there was only one heartbeat,” Anne said.
“It’s not uncommon for the hearts to beat in unison, making it difficult to differentiate between them. I’m sure your doctor explained that because you’re a twin it was more likely you would have twins.”
“Of course, but…”
“I guess that explains why you’re so big already,” Sam said, sounding surprisingly calm about this. In fact, while she was stunned, he looked as though he couldn’t be happier.
“Would you like to know the sex of the babies?” the doctor asked. She and Sam said “yes” in unison, then laughed because they were obviously very much in agreement.
“We’ll see if we can get them to cooperate,” he said, trying different angles. Then he pointed to the screen. “See there. This is baby A. There’s the left leg, and the right, and see that protrusion in between?”
“A boy!” Sam said, beaming.
Baby B didn’t want to cooperate, so he had Anne turn on her side, so the babies would shift position. “There we go!” the doctor finally said, pointing out both legs again, and there was no little protrusion this time.
“A girl,” Anne said excitedly, squeezing Sam’s hand. “One of each!”
The doctor took the measurements he needed and announced that everything looked wonderful. Her children were healthy, Sam was beaming with pride, and Anne could say with certainty that it was one of the happiest days of her life. After all that had happened lately, she figured they deserved it.
When the doctor was finished Anne dashed to the loo to empty her bladder before it burst. When she met Sam in the waiting room, he had an odd look on his face.
What if the idea of having twins had finally sunk in and he’d realized it was more than he bargained for? What if he was overwhelmed by the responsibility?
“What’s wrong, Sam?”
“The doctor and I had an interesting discussion while you were gone.”
“What kind of discussion? Is something wrong with the babies?”
“I voiced some concerns about you being on birth control when you conceived. I was afraid it might cause complications or defects.”
Anne’s breath hitched. “What did he say?”
“He checked your chart.”
Oh God. Anne’s heart sank so hard and fast it left a hollow feeling in her chest. “Sam—”
“I want the truth, Anne. That night, when you said you had it covered, did you mean it, or did you lie to me?”
It felt as though the entire room had flipped on its axis and she had to grab the wall to keep from pitching over. “I can explain—”
“Did. You. Lie.” He was angry. Not just angry, but seething mad. This man who had never so much as raised his voice looked as though he wanted to throttle her.
She had to force the words past the lump of fear blocking her throat. “Yes, but—”
The door opened and Gunter stuck his head in to tell them the car was ready.
“Sam,” she said, but he silenced her with a sharp look and said, “When we get home.”
The ride back to the castle was excruciating. Sam sat silently beside her, but she could feel his anger. It seemed to fill the car, until it became difficult to breathe. Or maybe that was her guilty conscience.
There had to be a way to fix this. To make him understand.
When they got back they went straight to their room and Sam closed the door firmly behind him. Then he turned to her and in a voice teeming with bitterness said, “I should have known.”
“Sam…” She tried to touch his arm but he jerked it away.
“I was raised on the principle that royals are never to be trusted, that they always have an agenda. I knew it that night, and still I ignored my instincts.”
It crushed her that he would ever think of her that way. Yet she couldn’t deny she slept with him knowing they were unprotected. “It’s not what you think. I didn’t have any agenda. I wasn’t trying to trap you.”
“So, you just wanted sex.”
He made it sound so sleazy. He had been there, too, he knew damn well how deeply they had connected. He had wanted her, too. “I wanted you, Sam, and I honestly didn’t think I would get pregnant. The timing was completely off.”
“So what you’re saying is, with no regard to anyone but yourself and your own selfish needs, you took a chance. You didn’t even have the decency to stop and consider the repercussions of your actions, and how it might affect me.”
When he said it that way, it was pretty awful.
“I’m sorry,” she said in a whisper, because suddenly she couldn’t seem to draw in a full breath, as though his animosity was leeching all the oxygen from the air. “You’re sorry,” he said, spitting out a rueful laugh. “You stole everything from me and all you can say is you’re sorry?”
“I made a mistake. I know. But I love you, Sam.”
“You love me?” he said, astonished. “Playing Russian roulette with my future? Lying to me? You call that love? I think there’s only one person here that you give a damn about, Your Highness, and that’s you.”
He couldn’t be more wrong. She hated herself right now. For not having the guts to tell him the truth right away. “Sam, I just wanted—”
“You wanted to screw me,” he said. “And I guess you succeeded because as far as I can see, I am thoroughly screwed.”
He yanked the door open and stormed out, slamming it behind him.
Anne’s heart was pounding and she was trembling so hard her legs wouldn’t hold her upright. She slid down the wall to the floor, her legs finally folding under her like a marionette whose strings had been cut.
Sam was right. Everything he said about her was true, and he had every right to be furious with her. But was he mad enough to leave her? To demand a divorce?
Maybe after he had some time to cool down and think things through, he would remember how happy he’d been and how good they were together.
And what if he didn’t? What then?
The worst part was that she had no one to blame for this mess but herself. And the happiest day in her life had just turned into her worst nightmare.
Anne didn’t know where Sam went, but she learned from Gunter that he took his own car and left without a bodyguard. Which, considering the Gingerbread Man’s escalating violence, probably wasn’t the smartest idea, but she was in no position to be telling him what to do.
He had arranged to take the afternoon off for the ultrasound, so she knew he probably wasn’t at the office. He could be anywhere. And even if she did know where he went, there was nothing she could do about it. She needed to give him space, time to think things through.
She wasn’t the least bit hungry, but with two babies growing inside her, she knew skipping meals wasn’t an option. But since she didn’t feel like facing her family—and any questions—she asked Geoffrey to bring her dinner to her room. She was so beside herself she couldn’t choke more than a few bites down.
To kill time while she waited for Sam, she started a list of all the baby things they were going to have to get. They would need two of everything. And they were going to have to think about names. It still amazed her that she was having twins, and she realized her family didn’t even know yet. But that was the kind of news she and Sam should announce together.
A little later Louisa knocked on her door and Anne called for her to come in.
“I’m not disturbing you, am I?” Louisa asked, peeking her head in and looking around for Sam. “I’m alone.”
She stepped inside. “Oh, where’s Sam?”
If she told Louisa they’d had a fight, she would have to tell her why, and she was too ashamed to admit how badly she had screwed things up.
“He had a thing with his parents,” she said, keeping it vague. “I was supposed to go, but I wasn’t feeling well.”
Louisa frowned. “Are you all right?”
“Fine, just normal pregnancy stuff.”
She flopped down on the bed beside her. “Is that why you didn’t come down for dinner?”
“I had Geoffrey bring me a tray.”
“Mother ate with us again.”
“That’s good,” Anne said. For months now, since their father became so ill, he and their mother shared dinner in their suite. And right after the funeral she continued to eat alone, until they all finally talked her into coming back down to the dining room.
“She told Chris that she thinks he and Melissa and the triplets should move into the master suite. Since he is king now. And there’s five of them and just one of her.”
“What did he say?”
“At first he said no, but she insisted, so he said he would think about it. Maybe she just has too many memories there.”
“She shouldn’t rush into anything. It hasn’t even been a month. She needs to give herself time to grieve.”
“I agree, but try telling her that. And people wonder where we got our stubborn streak.”
One of the babies rolled and Anne placed a hand on her belly.
“Kicking?” Louisa asked, putting a hand beside Anne’s. She loved feeling the baby move.
“More like rolling.”
“I wish I were pregnant, too,” she said, looking sad.
“It’ll happen. It’s only been a few months. Sometimes it takes a while.” And sometimes it worked on the first shot, whether she wanted it to or not.
“Well, it’s certainly not for a lack of trying. Last night alone—”
“Please,” Anne interrupted. “Spare me the gory details. I believe you.”
Louisa grinned. “I’m pushing thirty. If I’m going to have six kids, I have to get the ball rolling. Besides, don’t you think it would be fun if we were pregnant together?”
“We still could be. I’ve got nineteen weeks to go.” Although maybe less, because the doctor said it wasn’t uncommon for twins to come as much as four weeks early. That meant she and Sam could be parents in only fifteen weeks.
“Well, if not this time then the next,” Louisa said with a shrug. But Anne didn’t tell her there wouldn’t be a next time. She hadn’t even been sure she wanted one child. Two kids, especially since she was having one of each gender, was going to be her limit.
She wanted so badly to tell Louisa about the ultrasound. It was right there on the tip of her tongue, dying to come out, but she restrained herself. She and Sam should tell everyone together and she didn’t think it was fair to deprive him of that. And she didn’t want to give him yet another reason to be mad at her.
After Louisa left—probably to work on making that baby with Garrett—Anne picked up a novel she’d been meaning to start. Even though it was written by one of her favorite authors, she just couldn’t concentrate. Her mind kept wandering and her eyes drifting to the clock on the bedside table.
It was going on eleven. Where could he be?
At midnight she finally changed into her pajamas and crawled into bed, but she couldn’t sleep. It was after one when Sam finally opened the bedroom door and stepped inside.
Her heart stalled, then picked up double-time.
He went to the closet to change, the light cutting a path though the darkness. Then the light went out and she heard him in the bathroom. The shower turned on and she lay in the darkness listening and waiting. Finally the bathroom door opened, the light went out and he walked to the bed. She could smell the scent of soap and shampoo as he climbed in beside her.
For a long moment she lay silent, afraid to make a sound, afraid that he was still angry. She waited to see if he made the first move, but after several minutes he hadn’t said a word. Maybe he thought she was asleep.
She rolled on her side facing him and asked, “Can we talk about this?”
“There’s nothing to talk about.”
“Sam…” She laid a hand on his arm but he shrugged it away. “Please.”
“Nothing you could say or do will erase what you did to me.”
His words cut deep and she realized he wasn’t even close to being ready to forgive her. “I understand. So long as you know that when you’re ready to talk, I’ll be here.”
He sat up suddenly and switched on the light, blinding her for a second. When her eyes adjusted she saw that he looked tired, and angry and…betrayed. “You don’t get it. I know what you did, and why you did it, and nothing you can say will ever change it. You stole my life from me. It’s done. I’m not just going to get over it.”
Her heart sank. He didn’t even want to try to forgive her? To understand her side of it? He was just going to give up?
She had grown to love Sam, but obviously for him, she was as easily discarded as a used tissue. “So what are you saying? That it’s over?”
“We both know that isn’t an option. Like you said, once we’re married, that’s it. Royals don’t do divorce.”
Her relief was all encompassing. And it must have shown because he added hastily, “Don’t think for a second that I’m doing this for you. I’m staying married to you for my children. That’s it.”
Yes, but as long as he was still there, still a part of her life, he would eventually have to forgive her. He couldn’t stay mad forever.
“I didn’t tell anyone our news yet,” she said. “About the twins. I thought we should announce it together.”
“You needn’t have bothered waiting. I already told my parents. Tell your family whenever and whatever you want. It really doesn’t matter to me.”
His words cut so deep, she wouldn’t have been surprised to find blood on her pajamas.
With that he switched off the light and lay back down, turning his back to her. A clear indication that the conversation was now over. Though her stubborn, argumentative side wanted to push, she forced herself to let it go. She just needed to give him time. Eventually he would remember how happy they’d been, how good they were together.
Sam may have never said he loved her, but she knew he did. She could feel it. And people didn’t fall out of love instantly. The fact that he was feeling so angry and betrayed was a sure sign that he cared deeply for her. Otherwise it wouldn’t matter what she had done to him.
It simply had to work out. Because the alternative was not an option.
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