Kitabı oku: «Jack The Giant Killer», sayfa 2

JACK SURPRISED ONCE IN THE WAY

I

 
     Now, as Jack was a lion, and hero of rhymes,
     His exploit very soon made a noise in the "Times;"
              All over the west
              He was fêted, caressed,
     And to dinners and soirees eternally pressed:
     Though't is true Giants did n't move much in society,
     And at "twigging" were slow,
     Yet they could n't but know
     Of a thing that was matter of such notoriety.
 
 
     Your Giants were famous for esprit de corps;
     And a huge one, whose name was O'Blunderbore,
     From the Emerald Isle, who had waded o'er,
     Revenge, "by the pow'rs!" on our hero swore.
 

II

 
              Sound beneath a forest oak
              Was a beardless warrior dozing,
              By a babbling rill, that woke
              Echo – not the youth reposing.
              What a chance for lady loves
              Now to win a "pair of gloves!"
 

III

 
     "Wake, champion, wake, be off, be off;
     Heard'st thou not that earthquake cough!
     That floundering splash,
     That thundering crash?
     Awake! – oh, no,
                It is no go!"
        So sang a little woodland fairy;
                'T was O'Blunderbore coming
        And the blackguard was humming
        The tune of "Paddy Carey."
 

IV

 
     Beholding the sleeper,
     He open'd each peeper
     To about the size of the crown of your hat;
     "Oh, oh!" says he,
                  "Is it clear I see
     Hallo! ye young spalpeen, come out o' that."
 
 
                 So he took him up
                 As ye mote a pup,
     Or an impudent varlet about to "pop" him:
     "Wake up, ye young baste;
                 What's this round your waist?
     Och! murder! " – I wonder he did n't drop him.
 
 
     He might, to be sure, have exclaimed "Oh, Law!"
     But then he preferred his own patois;
     And "Murder!" though coarse, was expressive, no doubt,
     Inasmuch as the murder was certainly out.
 
 
     He had pounced upon Jack,
               In his cosy bivouack,
     And so he made off with him over his back.
 

V

 
             Still was Jack in slumber sunk;
             Was he Mesmerised or drunk?
 
 
      I know not in sooth, but he did not awake
      Till, borne through a coppice of briar and brake,
      He was roused by the brambles that tore his skin,
      Then he woke up and found what a mess he was in
      He spoke not a word that his fear might shew,
      But said to himself – "What a precious go!"
 

VI

 
              Whither was the hero bound,
              Napping by the Ogre caught?
              Unto Cambrian Taffy's ground
              Where adventures fresh he sought.
 

VII

 
      They gained the Giant's castle hall,
          Which seemed a sort of Guy's museum;
      With skulls and bones 'twas crowded all —
          You would have blessed yourself to see 'em.
 
 
      The larder was stored with human hearts,
      Quarters, and limbs, and other parts, —
           A grisly sight to see;
      There Jack the cannibal monster led,
 
 
      "I lave you there, my lad," he said,
          "To larn anatomy! —
 
 
         I'm partial to this kind of mate,
         And hearts with salt and spice to ate
         Is just what plases me;
         I mane to night on yours to sup,
         Stay here until you 're aten up
         He spoke, and turned the key.
 
 
     "A pretty business this!" quoth Jack,
          When he was left alone;
     "Old Paddy Whack,
          I say! come back —
     I wonder where he's gone?"
 
 
      In ghastly moans and sounds of wail,
      The castle's cells replied;
      Jack, whose high spirits ne'er could quail,
      Whistled like blackbird in the vale,
      And, "Bravo, Weber!" cried.
 
 
      When, lo! a dismal voice, in verse,
      This pleasant warning did rehearse: —
 

IX

 
      "Haste!" quoth the hero, "yes, but how?
      They come, the brutes! – I hear them now.'
      He flew to the window with mickle speed,
      There was the pretty pair indeed,
      Arm-in-arm in the court below,
      O'Blunderbore and his brother O.
 
 
      "Now then," thought Jack, "I plainly see
      I 'm booked for death or liberty; —
      Hallo! those cords are 'the jockeys for me.'
 

X

 
     Jack was nimble of finger and thumb —
     The cords in a moment have halters become
 
 
         Deft at noosing the speckled trout,
         So hath he caught each ill-favoured lout:
         He hath tethered the ropes to a rafter tight,
         And he tugs and he pulls with all his might,
         "Pully-oi! Pully-oi!" till each Yahoo
         In the face is black and blue;
     Till each Paddy Whack
     Is blue and black;
     "Now, I think you're done brown," said courageous Jack.
     Down the tight rope he slides,
     And his good sword hides
     In the hearts of the monsters up to the hilt;
     So he settled them each:
     O'Blunderbore's speech,
     Ere he gave up the ghost was, "Och, murder, I'm kilt!"
 

XI

 
         The dungeons are burst and the captives freed;
     Three princesses were among them found —
         Very beautiful indeed;
     Their lily white hands were behind them bound:
         They were dangling in the air,
     Strung up to a hook by their dear "back hair."
 
 
     Their stomachs too weak
     On bubble and squeak,
     From their slaughtered lords prepared, to dine
                (A delicate rarity);
     With horrid barbarity,
     The Giants had hung them up there to pine.
 

XII

 
     Jack, the monsters having "licked,"
     Had, of course, their pockets picked,
     And their keys and eke their riches
     Had abstracted from their breeches.
 
 
     "Ladies," he said, with a Chesterfield's ease,
     Permit me, I pray you, to present you with these,"
     And he placed in their hands the coin and the keys:
     "So long having swung,
     By your poor tresses hung,
     Sure your nerves are unhinged though yourselves are unstrung;
 
 
               To make you amends,
     Take these few odds and ends,
     This nice little castle, I mean, and its wealth;
               And I 've only to say,
     That I hope that you may
     For the future enjoy the most excellent health."
 
 
     Said the ladies – "Oh, thank you! – expressions we lack " —
     "Don't mention it pray," said the complaisant Jack.
 

XIII

 
     Jack knelt and kissed the snow-white hands
              Of the lovely ladies three;
     Oh! who these matters that understands
              But thinks, "would that I'd been he! "
     Then he bids them adieu; "Au revoir," they cry.
     "Take care of yourselves," he exclaims, "good bye!"
 

XIV

 
     Away, like Bonaparte in chase,
         O'er mount and moor goes Jack;
     With his trusty sword before his face,
         And its scabbard behind his back.
 
 
              Away he goes,
              And follows his nose;
     No wonder, then, that at close of day,
              He found himself out
              In his whereabout; —
 
 
     "Dash my buttons," he cried, "I have lost my way
     Before him stretched a lonely vale —
     Just the place for robbing the mail
     Ere that conveyance went by "rail" —
 
 
     On either side a mount of granite
     Outfaced indignant star and planet;
     Its thunder-braving head and shoulders,
     And threatening crags, and monstrous boulders,
         Ten times as high as the cliffs at Brighton,
         Uprearing like a "bumptious" Titan,
     Very imposing to beholders.
     Now the red sun went darkly down,
     More gloomy grew the mountains' frown,
     And all around waxed deeper brown, —
     Jack's visage deeper blue;
     Said he, "I guess I'm in a fix," —
     Using a phrase of Mr. Slick's, —
     "What on earth shall I do?"
 
 
     He wandered about till late at night,
     At last he made for a distant light;
     "Here's a gentleman's mansion," thought Jack, "all right."
              He knocked at the wicket,
              Crying, "That's the ticket!"
     When lo! the portal open flew,
              And a monster came out,
              Enormously stout
     And of stature tremendous, with heads for two.
 
 
              Jack was rather alarmed,
              But the Giant was charmed,
     He declared with both tongues, the young hero to see:
              "What a double-tongued speech!
              But you wo n't overreach
     Me" thought Jack; as the Giant said – "Walk in, to tea."
     But he saw that to fly
     Would be quite "all his eye,"
               He could n't, and so it was useless to try;
     So he bowed, and complied with the monster's "walk in!"
     With a sort of a kind of hysterical grin.
 
 
     Now this Giant, you know, was a Welshman, and so,
     'T was by stealth he indulged in each mischievous "lark
              His name was Ap Morgan,
              He had a large organ
     Of "secretiveness," wherefore he killed in the dark.
     "He was sorry that Jack was benighted," he said,
     "Might he fenture to peg he'd accept of a ped?"
 
 
              And he then led the way,
              All smiling and gay,
     To the couch where his guest might rest his head;
     And he bade him good night, politely quite,
     Jack answered – "I wish you a very good night."
 

XV

 
     Though his eyes were heavy, and legs did ache,
     Jack was far too wide awake
     To trust himself to the arms of sleep; —
     I mean to say he was much too deep.
 
 
     Stumping, through the midnight gloom,
     Up and down in the neighbouring room,
     Like a pavior's rammer, Ap Morgan goes.
 
 
     "I shouldn't much like him to tread on my toes!"
     Thought Jack as he listened with mind perplexed; —
     "I wonder what he's up to next?"
 

XVI

 
     Short was our hero's marvelling;
              For, deeming him in slumber locked,
     The monstrous oaf began to sing:
              Gracious, how the timbers rocked!
                     From double throat
                     He poured each note,
               So his voice was a species of double bass,
                       Slightly hoarse,
     Rather coarse,
 
 
      And decidedly wanting a little in grace:
      A circumstance which unluckily smashes
      A comparison I was about to make
      Between it and the great Lablache's, —
           Just for an allusion's sake.
 
 
      Thus warbled the gigantic host,
      To the well-known air of "Giles Scroggins' Ghost:
 

XVII

 
      "Ha! say you so,"
      Thought Jack; "oh, oh! "
      And, getting out of bed,
      He found a log; —
      "Whack that, old Gog!
      He whispered, "in my stead."
 

XVIII

 
      In steals the Giant, crafty old fox!
      His buskins he'd doffed, and he walked in his socks,
      And he fetches the bed some tremendous knocks
      With his great big mace,
                 I' th' identical place
      Where Jack's wooden substitute quietly lay;
      And, chuckling as he went away,
      He said to himself, "How. Griffith Ap Jones
      Will laugh when he hears that I've broken his bones!
 

XIX

 
     The morning shone brightly, all nature was gay;
     And the Giant at breakfast was pegging away:
     On pantomime rolls all so fiercely fed he,
     And he ate hasty-pudding along with his tea.
 
 
     Oh, why starts the monster in terror and fright?
     Why gapes and why stares he when Jack meets his sight?
     Why mutters he wildly, o'ercome with dismay,
     "How long have ghosts taken to walking by day?"
 

XX

 
     "Pless us!" he cried, "it can't be; – no! "
     "'Tis I," said Jack, "old fellow, though."
     "How slept you?" asked the monster gruff.
     "Toi lol," he answered; – "well enough:
 
 
     About twelve, or one, I awoke with a rat, —
     At least, I fancied it was that, —
     Which fetched me with its tail a ' whop; '