Kitabı oku: «The Comic English Grammar: A New And Facetious Introduction To The English Tongue», sayfa 5
"We fly by night?"
If they "shoot the moon," they are shooting stars. There is a mode of using the indefinite article a before a participle, for which there is no occasion, as it does not convert the participle into a substantive, and makes no alteration in the sense of what is said; in this case the article, therefore, is like a wart, a wen, or a knob at the end of the nose, neither useful nor ornamental: as, "Going out a shooting."
"Are you a coming to-morrow?"
"I was a thinking about what Jem said."
"Here you are, a going of it, as usual!" A liberty not unfrequently taken with the English Language, is the substitution of the perfect participle for the imperfect tense, and of the imperfect tense for the perfect participle: as, "He run like mad, with the great dog after him."
"Maria come and told us all about it."
"When I had wrote the Valentine, I sealed it with my thimble."
"He has rose to (be) a common* councilman."
"I was chose Lord Mayor."
"I've eat (or a eat) lots of vension in my time."
"I should have spoke if you hadn't put in your oar."
"You were mistook."
"He sent her an affecting copy of verses, which was wrote with a Perryian pen."
RULE XV
Adverbs are generally placed in a sentence before adjectives, after verbs active or neuter, and frequently between the auxiliary and the verb: as, "He came, Sir, and he was most exceedingly drunk; he could hardly stand upon his legs; he made a very lame discourse; he spoke incoherently and ridiculously; and was impatiently heard by the whole assembly."
"He is fashionably dressed."
"She is conspicuously ugly."
"The eye of jealousy is proverbially sharp, and yet it is indisputiably green"
"The French Marquis was a very charming man; he danced exquisitely and nimbly, and was greatly admired by all the ladies."
Several adverbs have been coined of late; and some of them are very remarkable for a "particular" elegance: as, "I reckon you're catawampously chawed up." In the example just given there is to be found, besides the new adverb, a word which, if not also new to the English student, is rendered so both by its orthography and pronunciation; namely, chawed. This term is no other than "chewed," modified. "Chawed up" is a very strong expression, and is employed to signify the most complete state of discomfiture and defeat, when a man is as much crushed, mashed, and comminuted, morally speaking, as if he had literally and corporeally undergone the process of mastication. "Catawampously" is a concentration of "hopelessly," "tremendously," "thoroughly," and "irrevocably;" so that "catawampously chawed up," means, brought as nearly to a state of utter annihilation as anything consistently with the laws of nature can possibly be. For the metaphorical use of the word "chawed," three several reasons have been given: 1. Familiarity with the manner in which the alligator disposes of his vie-tims. 2. The cannibalism of the Aborigines. 3. The delicate practice of chewing tobacco. Each of these is supported by numerous arguments, on the consideration of which it would be quite out of the question to enter in this place.
RULE XVI
Two English negatives (like French lovers) destroy one another, – and become equivalent to an affirmative: as, "The question before the House was not an unimportant one;" that is, "it was an important one."
"Mr. Brown was free to confess that he did not undertake to say that he would not on some future occasion give a satisfactory answer to the honorable gentleman."
Thus, at one and the same time, we teach our readers Syntax and secretiveness.
It is probable that small boys are often unacquainted with this rule; for many of them, while undergoing personal chastisement, exclaim, for the purpose, as it would appear, of causing its duration to be shortened – "Oh pray, Sir, oh pray, Sir, oh pray, Sir! I won't do so no more!"
RULE XVII
Prepositions govern the objective case: as, "What did the butcher say of her?"
"He said that she would never do for him; that she was too thin for a wife, and he was not fond of a spare rib."
The delicate ear is much offended by any deviation from this rule: as, in a shocking and vulgar song which it was once our misfortune to hear: —
"There I found the faithless she
Frying sausages for he."
We had occasion, in the Etymology, to remark on a certain misuse of the preposition, of. This, perhaps, is best explained by stating that of in the instances cited, is made to usurp the government of cases which are already under a rightful jurisdiction: as, "What are you got a eating of?"
"He had been a beating of his wife."
RULE XVIII
Conjunctions connect similar moods and tenses of verbs, and cases of nouns and pronouns: as, "A coat of arms suspended on a wall is like an executed traitor; it is hanged, drawn, and quartered."
"If you continue thus to drink brandy and water and to smoke cigars, you will be like Boreas the North wind, who takes 'cold without' wherever he goes, and always 'blows a cloud' when it comes in his way."
"Do you think there is any thing between him and her?"
"Yes; he, and she are engaged ones."
Note. – To ask whether there is any thing between two persons of opposite sexes, is one way of inquiring whether they are in love with each other. It is not, however, in our opinion, a very happy phrase, inasmuch as whatever intervenes between a couple of fond hearts, must tend to prevent them from coming together.
RULE XIX
Some conjunctions govern the indicative; some the subjunctive mood. In general, it is right to use the subjunctive, when contingency or doubt is implied: as, "If I were to say that the moon is made of green cheese."
"If I were a wiseacre."
"If I were a Wilt-shire-man."
"A lady, unless, she be toasted, is never drunk."
And when she is toasted, those who are drunk are generally the gentlemen.
Those conjunctions which have a positive and absolute signification, require the indicative mood: as, "He who fasts may be compared to a horse: for as the animal eats not a bit, so neither does the man partake of a morsel."
"The rustic is deluded by false hopes, for his daily food is gammon."
Every philosopher has his weak points, and in the Sylva Sylvarum may be found some gammon of Bacon.
RULE XX
When a comparison is made between two or more things, the latter noun or pronoun is not governed by the conjunction than or as, but agrees with the verb, or is governed by the verb or preposition, expressed or understood: as, "The French are a lighter people than we," (that is "than we are,") "and yet we are not so dark as they," that is, "as they are."
"I should think that they admire me more than them," that is, "than they admire them."
"It is a shame, Martha! you were thinking more of that young officer than me," that is, "of me."
Sufficient attention is not always paid, in discourse, to this rule. Thus, a schoolboy may be often heard to exclaim,
"What did you hit me for, you great fool?"
"You're bigger than me. Hit some one of your own size!"
"Not fling farther than him? just can't I, that's all!"
"You and I have got more marbles than them,"
RULE XXI
An ellipsis, or omission of certain words, is frequently allowed, for the sake of avoiding disagreeable repetitions, and of expressing our ideas in a few words. Instead of saying, "She was a little woman, she was a round woman, and she was an old woman," we say, making use of the figure Ellipsis, "She was a little, round, and old woman."
When, however, the omission of words is productive of obscurity, weakens the sentence, or involves a violation of some grammatical principle, the ellipsis must not be used. It is improper to say, "Puddings fill who fill them;" we should supply the word those. "A beautiful leg of mutton and turnips" is not good language: those who would deserve what they are talking about ought to say, "A beautiful leg of mutton and fine turnips."
In common discourse, in which the meaning can be eked out by gestures, signs, and inarticulate sounds variously modified, the ellipsis is much more liberally and more extensively employed than in written composition. "May I have the pleasure of – hum? ha?" may constitute an invitation to take wine. "I shall be quite – a – a – " may serve as an answer in the affirmative. "So then you see he was – eh! – you see – ," is perhaps an intimation that a man has been hanged. "Well, of all the – I never!" is often tantamount to three times as many words expressive of surprise, approbation, or disapprobation, according to the tone in which it is uttered. "Will you? – ah! – will you? – ah! – ah! – ah!" will do either for "Will you be so impertinent, you scoundrel? will you dare to do so another time?" or, "Will you, dearest, loveliest, most adorable of your sex, will you consent to make me happy; will you be mine? speak! answer, I entreat you! One word from those sweet lips will make me the most fortunate man in existence!"
There is, however, a kind of ellipsis which those who indulge in that style of epistolary writing, wherein sentiments of a tender nature are conveyed, will do well to avoid with the greatest care. The ellipsis alluded to, is that of the first person singular of the personal pronoun, as instanced in the following model of a billet-doux: —
Camberwell,
April 1, 1844.
MY DEAREST FANNY,
Have not enjoyed the balm of sleep all the livelong night.
Encountered, last night, at the ball, the beau ideal of my heart. Never knew what love was till then. Derided the sentiment often; jested at scars, because had never felt a wound. Feel at last the power of beauty – Write with a tremulous hand; waver between hope and fear. Hope to be thought not altogether unworthy of regard: fear to be rejected as having no pretensions to the affections of such unparalleled loveliness. Know not in what terms to declare my feelings. Adore you, worship you, dote on you, am wrapt up in you! think but on you, live but for you, would willingly die for you! – in short, love you! and imploring you to have some compassion on one who is distracted for your sake
Remain
Devotedly yours
T. Tout.
RULE XXII
A Regular and dependent construction should be carefully preserved throughout the whole of a sentence, and all its parts should correspond to each other. There is, therefore, an inaccuracy in the following sentence; "Greenacre was more admired, but not so much lamented, as Burke." It should be, "Greenacre was more admired than Burke, but not so much lamented."
Of these two worthies there will be a notice of the following kind in a biographical dictionary, to be published a thousand years hence in America.
Greenacre. – A celebrated critic who so cut up a blue-stocking lady of the name of Brown, that he did not leave her a leg to stand upon.
Burke. – A famous orator, whose power of stopping people's mouths was said to be prodigious. It is farther reported of him that he was only once hung up, and that on the occasion of the last speech he ever made.
Perhaps it may be said that the rule last stated comprehends all preceding rules and requires exemplification accordingly. We therefore call the attention of the reader to the following paragraph, requesting him to consider what, and how many, violations of the maxims of Syntax it contains.
"We teaches, that is, my son and me teaches, the boys English Grammar. Tom or Dick have learned something every day but Harry what is idler, whom I am sure will never come to no good, for he is always a miching and doing those kind of things (he was catch but yesterday in a skittle grounds) he only makes his book all dog's ears. I beat he, too, pretty smartish, as I ought, you will say, for to have did. I was going to have sent him away last week but he somehow got over me as he do always. I have had so much trouble with he, that between you and I, if I was not paid for il, I wouldn't have no more to do with such a boy. There never wasn't a monkey more mischievious than him; and a donkey isn't more stupider and not half so obstinate as that youngster."
The Syntax of the Interjection has been sufficiently stated under Rule V. Interjections afford more matter for consideration in a Treatise on Elocution than they do in a work on Grammar; but there is one observation which we are desirous of making respecting them, and which will not, it is hoped, be thought altogether foreign to our present subject. Almost every interjection has a great variety of meanings, adapted to particular occasions and circumstances, and indicated chiefly by the tone of the voice. Of this proposition we shall now give a few illustrations, which we would endeavor to render still clearer by the addition of musical notes, but that these would hardly express, with adequate exactness, the modulations of sound to which we allude; and besides, we hope to be sufficiently understood without such help. This part of the Grammar should be read aloud by the student; or, which is better still, the interjection, where it is possible, should be repeated with the proper intonation by a class; the sentence which gives occasion to it being read by the preceptor. We will select the interjection Oh! as the source from which our examples are to be drawn.
"I'll give it to you, you idle dog: I will!"
"Oh, pray, Sir! Oh, pray, Sir! Oh! Oh! Oh!"
"I shall ever have the highest esteem for you, Sir; but as to love, that is out of the question."
"Oh, Matilda!"
"I say, Jim, look at that chaffinch: there's a shy!"
"Oh, Crikey!"
"Miss Timms, do you admire Lord Byron?"
"Oh, yes!"
"What do you think of Rubini's singing?"
"Oh!"
"So then, you see, we popped round the corner, and caught them just in the nick of time."
"Oh!"
"Sir, your behavior has done you great credit."
"Oh!"
"Oats are looking up."
"Oh!"
"Honorable Members might say what they pleased; but he was convinced, for his part, that the New Poor Law had given great general satisfaction."
"Oh! oh!"
There being now no reason (or rule) to detain us in the Syntax, we shall forthwith advance into Prosody, where we shall have something to say, not only about rules, but also of measures.
PART IV. PROSODY
Prosody consists of two parts; wherefore, although it may be a topic, a head, or subject for discussion, it can never be a point; for a point is that which hath no parts. Besides, there are a great many lines to be considered in the second part of Prosody, which treats of Versification. The first division teaches the true Pro-nunciation of Words, including Accent, Quantity, Emphasis, Pause, and Tone.
Lord Chesterfield's book about manners, which is intended to teach us the proper tone to be adopted in Society, may be termed an Ethical Prosody.
Lord Chesterfield may have been a polished gentleman, but Dr. Johnson was of the two the more shining character.
CHAPTER I. OF PRONUNCIATION
SECTION I. OF ACCENT
Though penetrated ourselves by the desire of imparting instruction, we are far from wishing to bore our readers; and therefore we shall: endeavor to repeat nothing here that we have said before.
Accent is the marking with a peculiar stress of the voice a particular letter or syllable in a word, in such a manner as to render it more distinct or audible than the rest. Thus, in the word théatre, the stress of the voice should be on the letter e and first syllable the; and in contrary, on the first syllable con. How shocking it is to hear people say con-trary, the-atre! The friends of education will be reminded with regret, that an error in the pronunciation of the first of these words is very early impressed on the human mind.
"Mary, Mary,
Quite contrary,
How does your garden grow?"
How many evils, alas! arise from juvenile associations!
Words of two syllables never have more than one of them accented, except for the sake of peculiar emphasis. Gentlemen, however, whose profession it is to drive certain public vehicles called cabs, are much accustomed to disregard this rule, and to say, "po-lite" (or "pur-lite"), "gén-téel," "con-cern," "po-lice," and so on: nay, they go so far as to convert a word of one syllable into two, for the sake of indulging in this style of pronunciation; and thus the word "queer" is pronounced by them as "ke-veer."
The word "a-men," when standing alone, should be pronounced with two accents.
The accents in which it usually is pronounced are very inelegant. Clerks, now-a-days, alas! are no scholars.
Dissyllables, formed by adding a termination, usually have the former syllable accented: as, "Foolish, block-head," &c.
===>See Page Scan
The accent in dissyllables, formed by prefixing a syllable to the radical word, is commonly on the latter syllable: as, "I protest, I declare, I entreat, I adore, I expire."
Protestations, declarations, entreaties, and adorations, proclaim a swain to be simply tender; but expiration (for love) proves him to be decidedly soft.
A man who turns lover becomes a protest-ant; and his conduct at the same time generally undergoes a reformation, especially if he has previously been a rake.
The zeal, however, of a reformed rake, like that of Jack in Dean Swift's "Tale of a Tub," is sometimes apt to outrun his discretion.
When the same word, being a dissyllable, is both a noun and a verb, the verb has mostly the accent on the latter, and the noun on the former Syllable: as,
"Molly, let Hymen's gentle hand
Cemént our hearts together,
With such a cément as shall stand
In spite of wind and weather.
"I do presage – and oft a fact
A présage doth foretoken —
Our mutual love shall ne'er contract,
Our côntract ne'er be broken."
There are many exceptions to the rule just enunciated (so that, correctly as well as familiarly speaking, it is perhaps no rule;) for though verbs seldom have an accent on the former, yet nouns frequently have it on the latter syllable: as,
"Mary Anne is my delight
Both by day and eke by night;
For by day her soft contrôl
Soothes my heart and calms my soul;
And her image while I doze
Comes to sweeten my repôse;
Fortune favoring my design,
Please the pigs she shall be mine!"
The former syllable of most dissyllables ending in y, our, ow, le, ish, ck, ter, age, en, èt, is accented: as "Grânny, noôdle," &c.
Except allôw, avôw, endôw, bestôw, belôw.
"Sir I cannot allôw
You your flame to avôw;
Endôw yourself first with the rhino:
My hand to bestôw On a fellow belôw
Me! – I'd rather be – never mind —
I know."
"Music," in the language of the Gods, is sometimes pronounced "mû-sic!"
Nouns of two syllables ending in er, have the accent on the former syllable: as, "Bûtcher, bâker."
It is, perhaps, a singular thing, that persons who pursue the callings denoted by the two words selected as examples, should always indicate their presence at an area by crying out, in direct defiance of Prosody, "But-chér, ba-kér;" the latter syllable being of the two the more strongly accented.
Dissyllabic verbs ending in a consonant and e final, as "Disclose," "repine," or having a dipthong in the last syllable, as, "Believe," "deceive," or ending in two consonants, as "Intend," are accented on the latter syllable.
"Matilda's eyes a light disclôse,
Which with the star of Eve might vie;
Oh! that such lovely orbs as those
Should sparkle at an apple-pie!
"Thy love I thought was wholly mine,
Thy heart I fondly hoped to rule;
Its throne I cannot but repine
At sharing with a goosb'ry fool!
"Thou swear'st no flatterer can decéive
Thy mind, – thy breast no coxcomb rifle;
Thou art no trifler, I beliéve,
But why so plaguy fond of trifle?
"Why, when we're wed – I don't inténd
To joke, Matilda, or be funny;
I really fear that you will spend
The Honey Moon in eating honey!"
Most dissyllabic nouns, having a dipthong in the latter syllable, have the aécent also on that syllable: as,
"A Hamlet that draws
Is sure of applâuse."
A Hamlet that draws? There are not many who can give even an outline of the character.
In a few words ending in ain the accent is placed on the former syllable: as, "Villain," which is pronounced as the natives of Whitechapel pronounce "willing." Those dissyllables, the vowels of which are separated in pronunciation, always have the accent on the first syllable: as, lion, scion, &c.
When is a young and tender shoot
Like a fond swain? When 'tis a scion.
What's the most gentlemanly brute
Like, of all flow'rs? A dandylion.'
Trisyllables, formed by adding a termination or prefixing a syllable, retain the accent of the radical word: as, "Lôveliness, shéepishness, knâvery, assûrance." The first syllable of trisyllables ending in ons, al, ion, is accented in the generality of cases: as in the words "sérious, câpital," &c.
"Dr. Johnson declared, with a sérious face,
That he reckoned a punster a villain:
What would he have thought of the horrible case
Of a man who makes jokes that are killing?"
In his diction to speak 'tis not easy for one Who must furnish both reason and rhyme:
"Sir, the rogue who has utter'd a câpital pun,
Has committed a câpital crime.'
Trisyllables ending in ce, ent, ate, y, re, le, and ude, commonly accent the first syllable. Many of those, however, which are derived from words having the accent on the last syllable and of those of which the middle syllable has a vowel between two consonants, are excepted.
They who would elegantly speak
Should not say "impudence," but "cheek;"
Should all things éatable call "prog;"
Eyes "ogles," côuntenance "phisog."
A coach should nôminate a "drag,"
And spécify as "moke," a nag:
For éxcellent, use "prime" or "bang up,"
Or "out and out;" and "scrag," for hang up.
The théâtre was wont to teach
The public réctitude of speech,
But we who live in modern age
Consult the gallery, not the stage.
Trisyllables ending in ator have the accent placed on the middle syllable; as, "Spectâtor, narrâtor," &c. except ôrator, sénator, and a few other words.
Take care that you never pronounce the common name of the vegetable sometimes called Irish fruit, "purtator."
A dipthong in the middle syllable of a trisyllable is accented: as also, in general, is a vowel before two consonants: as, "Doméstic," "endéavor."
An endeavor to appear domesticated, or in common phraseology, to "do" the domestic, is sometimes made by young gentlemen, and generally with but an ill grace. Avoid such attempts, reader, on all occasions: and in particular never adventure either to nurse babies, or (when you shall have "gone up to the ladies") to pour water into the tea-pot from the kettle. A legal or medical student sometimes thinks proper, from a desire of appearing at once gallant and facetious, to usurp the office of pouring out the tea itself, on which occasions he is very apt to betray his uncivilised habits by an unconscious but very unequivocal manipulation used in giving malt liquor what is technically termed a "head."
Many polysyllables are regulated as to accent by the words from which they are derived: as, "Inex-préssibles, Sûbstituted, Unobjéctionably, Désignated, Transatlàntic, Délicacy, Decidedly, Unquéstionable."
Words ending in ator are commonly accented on the last syllable but one, let them be as long as they may: as, respirâtor, regulator, renovâtor, indicâtor, and all the other alors that we see in the newspapers.
Many words ending in ion, ous, ty, ia, io, and cal, have their accent on the last syllable but two: as, "Con-si-de-râ-ti-on, pro-di-gi-ous, im-pe-ne-tra-bil-i-ty, en-cy-clo-pæ'-di-a, brag-ga-dô-ci-o, an-ti-mo-nârch-i-cal," all of which words we have divided into syllables, by way of a hint that they are to be pronounced (comically speaking) after the manner of Dominie Sampson.
Words that end in le usually have the accent on the first syllable: as, "Amicable, déspicable," &c.: although we have heard people say "despicable."
"I never see such a despicable fellow, not in all my born days."
Words of this class, however, the second syllable of which has a vowel before two consonants, are often differently accented: as in "Respéctable, contémptible.
Having, in compliance with grammatical usage, laid down certain rules with regard to accent, we have to inform the reader that there are so many exceptions to almost all of them, that perhaps there is scarcely one which it is worth while to attend to. We hope we have some measure amused him; but as to instruction, fear that, in this part of our subject, we have given him very little of that. Those who would acquire a correct accent had better attend particularly to the mode of speaking adopted in good society; avoid debating clubs; and go to church. For farther satisfaction and information we refer them, and we beg to say that we are not joking – to Walker.
SECTION II. OF QUANTITY
The quantity of a syllable means the time taken up in pronouncing it. As there is in Arithmetic a long division and a short division, so in Prosody is Quantity considered as long or short.
A syllable is said to be long, when the accent is on the vowel, causing it to be slowly joined in pronunciation to the next letter: as, "Flea, small, creature."
A syllable is called short, when the accent lies on the consonant, so that the vowel is quickly joined to the succeeding letter: as "Crack, little, devil."
The pronunciation of a long syllable commonly occupies double the time of a short one: thus, "Pâte," and "Broke," must be pronounced as slowly again as "Pàt," and "Knôck."
We have remarked a curious tendency in the more youthful students of Grammar to regard the quantity of words (in their lessons) more as being "small" or "great" than as coming under the head of "long" or "short." Their predilection for small quantities of words is very striking and peculiar; food for the mind they seem to look upon as physic; and all physic, in their estimation, is most agreeably taken in infinitesimal doses. The Homoeopathic system of acquiring knowledge is more to their taste than even the Hamiltonian.
It is quite impossible to give any rules as to quantity worth reading. The Romans may have submitted to them, but that is no reason why we should. We will pronounce our words as we please: and if foreigners want to know why, we will tell them that, when there is no law to the contrary, we always does as we likes with our own.
SECTION III. ON EMPHASIS
Emphasis is the distinguishing of some word or words in a sentence, on which we wish to lay particular stress, by a stronger and fuller sound, and sometimes by a particular tone of the voice.
A few illustrations of the importance of emphasis will be, perhaps, both agreeable and useful.
When a young lady says to a young gentlemen, "You are a nice fellow; you are!" – she means one thing.
When a young gentleman, addressing one of his own sex, remarks, "You're a nice fellow; you are;" – he means another thing.
"Your friend is a gentlemen," pronounced without any particular emphasis, is the simple assertion of a fact.
"Your friend is a gentleman," with the emphasis on the words "friend" and "gentleman," conveys an insinuation besides.
So simple a question as "Do you like pine-apple rum?" is susceptible of as many meanings as there are words in it; according to the position of the emphasis.
"Do you like pine-apple rum?" is as much as to say, "Do you, though, really like pine-apple rum?"
"Do you like pine-apple rum?" is tantamount to,
"Can it be that a young gentleman (or lady) like you, can like pine-apple rum?"
"Do you like pine-apple rum?" means, "Is it possible that instead of disliking, you are fond of pine-apple rum?"
"Do you like pine-apple rum?" is an enquiry as to whether you like that kind of rum in particular.
And lastly, "Do you like pine-apple rum?" is equivalent to asking if you think that the flavor of the pineapple improves that especial form of alcohol.
