Kitabı oku: «The Apaches of New York», sayfa 11

XI. – BIG MIKE ABRAMS

This was after Nigger Mike had gone into exile in cold and sorrowful Toronto, and while Tony Kelly did the moist honors at Number Twelve Pell. Nigger Mike, you will remember, hurried to his ruin on the combined currents of enthusiasm and many drinks, had registered a score or two of times; for he meditated casting full fifty votes at the coming election, in his own proper person, and said so to his friends.

As Mike registered those numerous times, the snap-shot hirelings of certain annoying reformers were busy popping him with their cameras. His friends informed him of this, and counselled going slow. But Mike was beyond counsel, and knew little or less of cameras – never having had his picture taken save officially, and by the rules of Bertillon. In the face of those who would have saved him, he continued to stagger in and out upon that multifarious registration, inviting destruction. The purists took the pictures to the District Attorney, their hirelings told their tales, and Mike perforce went into that sad Toronto exile. He is back now, however, safe, sober, clothed and in his right mind; but that is another story.

The day had been a sweltering July day for all of Chinatown. Now that night had come, the narrowness of Pell and Doyers and Mott Streets was choked with Chinamen, sitting along the curb, lolling in doorways, or slowly drifting up and down, making the most of the cool of the evening.

Over across from Number Twelve a sudden row broke out. There were smashings and crashings, loopholed, as it were, with shrill Mongolian shrieks. The guests about Tony’s tables glanced up with dull, half-interested eyes.

“It’s Big Mike Abrams tearin’ th’ packin’ out of th’ laundry across th’ street,” said Tony.

Tony was at the front door when the war broke forth, and had come aft to explain. Otherwise those about his tables might have gone personally forth, seeking a solution of those yellings and smashings and crashings for themselves, and the flow of profitable beer been thereby interrupted. At Tony’s explanation his guests sat back in their chairs, and ordered further beer. Which shows that Tony had a knowledge of his business.

“About them socialists,” resumed Sop Henry, taking up the talk where it had broken off; “Big Tom Foley tells me that they’re gettin’ something fierce. They cast more’n thirty thousand votes last Fall.”

“Say,” broke in the Nailer, “I can’t understand about a socialist. He must be on the level at that; for one evenin’, when they’re holdin’ a meetin’ in the Bowery, a fleet of gons goes through a dozen of ‘em, an’, exceptin’ for one who’s an editor, and has pulled off a touch somewheres, there ain’t street car fare in all their kecks. That shows there’s nothin’ in it for ‘em. Th’ editor has four bones on him – hardly enough for a round of drinks an’ beef stews. Th’ mob blows it in at Flynn’s joint, down be th’ corner.”

“I’m like you, Nailer,” agreed Sop Henry. “Them socialists have certainly got me goin’. I can’t get onto their coives at all.”

“Lishten, then.” This came from the Irish Wop, who was nothing if not political. “Lishten to me. Yez can go to shleep on it, I know all about a socialist. There’s ould Casey’s son, Barney – ould Casey that med a killin’ in ashphalt. Well, since his pah-pah got rich, young Casey’s a socialist. On’y his name ain’t Barney now, it’s Berna-a-ard. There’s slathers av thim sons av rich min turnin’ socialists. They ain’t strong enough to git a fall out av either av th’ big pa-a-arties, so they rush off to th’ socialists, where be payin’ fer th’ shpot light, they’re allowed to break into th’ picture. That’s th’ way wit’ young Barney, ould Ashphalt Casey’s son. Wan evenin’ he dr-r-ives up to Lyon’s wit’ his pah-pah’s broom, two bob-tailed horses that spint most av their time on their hind legs, an’ th’ Casey coat av arms on the broom dure, th’ same bein’ a shtick av dynamite rampant, wit’ two shovels reversed on a field av p’tatoes. ‘How ar-r-re ye?’ he says. ‘I want yez to jump in an’ come wit’ me to th’ Crystal Palace. It’s a socialist meet-in’,’ he says. ‘Oh, it is?’ says I; ‘an’ phwat’s a socialist? Is it a game or a musical inshtrumint?’ Wit’ that he goes into p’ticulars. ‘Well,’ thinks I, ‘there’s th’ ride, annyhow; an’ I ain’t had a carriage ride since Eat-’em-up-Jack packed in – saints rest him! So I goes out to th’ broom; an’ bechune th’ restlessness av thim bob-tailed horses an’ me not seein’ a carriage fer so long, I nearly br-r-roke me two legs gettin’ in. However, I wint. An’ I sat on th’ stage; an’ I lishtened to th’ wind-jammin’; an’ not to go no further, a socialist is simply an anarchist who don’t believe in bombs.”

There arose laughter and loud congratulatory sounds about the door. Next, broadly smiling, utterly complacent, Big Mike Abrams walked in.

“Did youse lobsters hear me handin’ it to th’ monkeys?” he asked, and his manner was the manner of him who doubts not the endorsement of men. “That chink, Low Foo, snakes two of me shirts. I sends him five, an’ he on’y sends back three. So I caves in his block wit’ a flatiron. You ought to pipe his joint! I leaves it lookin’ like a poolroom that won’t prodooce, after the wardman gets through.”

“An’ Low Foo?” queried Tony, who had shirts of his own.

“Oh, a couple of monks carries him to his bunk out back. It’ll take somethin’ more’n a shell of hop to chase away his troubles!” Mike refreshed himself with a glass of beer, which he called suds. “Say,” he continued with much fervor, “I wisht I could get a job punchin’ monks at a dollar a monk!”

Mike Abrams, alias Big Mike, was a pillar of Chinatown, and added distinctly to the life of that quarter. He was nearly six feet tall, with shoulders as square as the foretopsail yard of a brig. His nervous arms were long and slingy, his bony hands the size of hams. Neither the Dropper nor yet Big Myerson could swap blows with him, and his hug – if it came to rough-and-tumble – was comparable only to the hug of Mersher the Strong Arm, who had out-hugged a bear for the drinks.

While he lived, Little Maxie greatly appreciated Big Mike. Little Maxie is dead now. He ranked in the eyes of Mulberry Street as the best tool that ever nailed a leather. To be allowed to join out with his mob was conclusive of one’s cleverness as a gon. For Maxie would have no bunglers, no learners about him.

And, yet, as he himself said, Big Mike’s value

Jay not in any deftness of fingers, but in his stout, unflinching heart, and a knock-down strength of fist like unto the blow of a maul.

“As a stall he’s worse’n a dead one,” Maxie had said. “No one ever put up a worse back. But let a sucker raise a roar, or some galoot of a country sheriff start something – that’s where Mike comes on. You know last summer, when I’m followin’ Ringling’s show? Stagger, Beansey an’ Mike’s wit’ me as bunchers. Over at Patterson we had a rumble. I got a rube’s ticker, a red one. He made me; an’ wit’ that youse could hear th’ yell he lets out of him in Newark. A dozen of them special bulls which Ringling has on his staff makes a grab at us. Youse should have lamped Mike! Th’ way he laid out them circus dicks was like a tune of music. It’s done in a flash, an’ every last guy of us makes his get-away. Hock your socks, it’s Mike for me every time! I’d sooner he filled in wit’ a mob of mine than th’ best dip that ever pinched a poke.”

Big Mike had been a fixed star in the Gangland firmament for years. He knew he could slug, he knew he could stay; and he made the most of these virtues. When not working with Little Maxie, he took short trips into the country with an occasional select band of yeggs, out to crack a P. O. or a jug. At such times, Mike was the out-side man – ever a post of responsibility. The out-side man watches while the others blow the box. In case things take to looking queer or leary, he is to pass the whistle of warning to his pals. Should an officer show unexpectedly up, he must stand him off at the muzzle of his gatt, and if crowded, shoot and shoot to kill. He is to stand fast by his partners, busy with wedges, fuse and soup inside, and under no circumstances to desert them. Mike was that one of ten thousand, who had the nerve and could be relied upon to do and be these several iron things. Wherefore, he lived not without honor in the land, and never was there a fleet of yeggs or a mob of gons, but received him into its midst with joy and open hearts.

Mike made a deal of money. Not that it stuck to hum; for he was born with his hands open and spent it as fast as he made it. Also, he drank deeply and freely, and moreover hit the pipe. Nor could he, in the latter particular, be called a pleasure smoker nor a Saturday nighter. Mike had the habit.

At one time Mike ran an opium den at Coney Island, and again on the second floor of Number Twelve Pell. But the police – who had no sure way of gauging the profits of opium – demanded so much for the privilege that Mike was forced to close.

“Them bulls wanted all I made an’ more,” complained Mike, recounting his wrongs to Beansey. “I had a 50-pipe joint that time in Pell, an’ from the size of the rake-off the captain’s wardman asks, you’d have thought that every pipe’s a roulette-wheel.”

“Couldn’t you do nothin’ wit’ ‘em?” asked Bean-sey, sympathetically.

“Not a t’ing. I shows ‘em that number-one hop is $87.50 a can, an’ yen-chee or seconds not less’n $32. Nothin’ doin’! It’s either come across wit’ five hundred bones th’ foist of every month, or quit.”

Mike sighed over his fair prospects, blighted by the ignorant avarice of the police.

“W’at was youse chargin’ a smoke?” inquired Beansey.

“Two bits a shell. Of course, that’s for yen-chee. I couldn’t give ‘em number-one for two bits. After all, w’at I cares most for is me cats – two long-haired Persians.”

“Cats?” repeated Beansey, suspiciously. “W’at be youse handin’ me?”

Beansey by the way, knew nothing of opium.

“W’at am I handin’ youse?” said Mike. “I’m handin’ you th’ goods. Cats get th’ habit same as people. My cats would plant be some party who’s cookin’ a pill, an’ sniff th’ hop an’ get as happy as anybody. Take ‘em off the pipe, an’ it’s th’ same as if they’re Christians. Dogs, too. Let ‘em once get th’ habit, an’ then take ‘em away from a pipe joint, an’ they has pains in their stummicks, an’ twists an’ yowls till you think they’re goin’ mad. When th’ cops shut down on me, I has to give me cats to th’ monk who’s runnin’ th’ opium dump on th’ top floor. Sure t’ing! They’d have croaked if I hadn’t. They’re on’y half happy, though; for while they gets their hop they misses me. Them toms an’ me has had many a good smoke.”

Folks often wondered at the intimacy between Mike and Little Maxie – not that it has anything to do with this story. Little Maxie – his name on the Central Office books was Maxie Fyne, alias Maxie English, alias Little Maxie, alias Sharapatheck – was the opposite of Big Mike. He was small; he was weak; he didn’t drink; he didn’t hit the pipe. Also, at all times, and in cold blood, he was a professional thief. His wife, whom he called “My Kytie” – for Little Maxie was from Houndsditch, and now and then his accent showed it – was as good a thief as he, but on a different lay. Her specialty was robbing women. She worked alone, as all good gon-molls do, and because of her sure excellencies was known as the Golden Hand.

Little Maxie and his Golden Hand, otherwise his Kytie – her name was Kate – had a clean little house near Washington Square on the south. They owned a piano and a telephone – the latter was purely defensive – and their two children went to school, and sat book to book with the children of honest men and women.

The little quiet home, with its piano and defensive telephone, is gone now. Little Maxie died and his Golden Hand married again; for there’s no false sentiment in Gangland. If a husband’s dead he’s dead, and there’s nothing made by mourning. Likewise, what’s most wanted in any husband is that he should be a live one.

Little Maxie died in a rather curious way. Some say he was drowned by his pals, Big Mike among them. The story runs that there was a quarrel over splitting up a touch, and the mob charged Little Maxie with holding out. Be that as it may, the certainty is that Little Maxie and his mob, being in Peekskill, got exceeding drunk – all but Little Maxie – and went out in a boat. Being out, Little Maxie went overboard abruptly, and never came up. Neither did anybody go after him. The mob returned to town to weep – crocodile tears, some said – into their beer, as they told and re-told their loss, and in due time Little Maxie’s body drifted ashore and was buried. That was the end. Had it been some trust-thief of a millionaire, there would have been an investigation. But Little Maxie was only a pick-pocket.

Big Mike, like all strong characters, had his weakness. His weakness was punching Chinamen; fairly speaking, it grew to be his fad. It wasn’t necessary that a Chinaman do anything; it was enough that he came within reach. Mike would knock him cold. In a single saunter through Pell Street, he had been known to leave as many as four senseless Chinamen behind him, fruits of his fist.

“For,” said Mike, in cheerful exposition of the motive which underlay that performance, “I do so like to beat them monks about! I’d sooner slam one of ‘em ag’inst th’ wall than smoke th’ pipe.”

One time and another Mike punched two-thirds of all the pig-tailed heads in Chinatown. Commonly he confined himself to punching, though once or twice he went a step beyond. Lee Dok he nearly brained with a stool. But Lee Dok had been insultingly slow in getting out of Mike’s way.

Mike was proud of his name and place as the Terror of Chinatown. Whether he walked in Mott or Pell or Doyers Street, every Chinaman who saw him coming went inside and locked his door.

Those who didn’t see him and so go inside and dock their doors – and they were few – he promptly soaked. And if to see a Chinaman run was as incense to Mike’s nose, to soak one became nothing less than a sweet morsel under his tongue. The wonder was that Mike didn’t get shot or knifed, which miracle went not undiscussed at such centers as Tony’s, Barney Flynn’s, Jimmy Kelly’s and the Chatham Club. But so it was; the pig-tailed population of Chinatown parted before Mike’s rush like so much water.

One only had been known to resist – Sassy Sam, who with a dwarf’s body possessed a giant’s soul.

Sassy Sam was a hatchet-man of dread eminence, belonging to the Hip Sing Tong. Equipped of a Chinese sword, of singular yet murderous appearance, he chased Mike the length of Pell Street. Mike out-ran Sassy Sam, which was just as well. It took three shells of hop to calm Mike’s perturbed spirit; for he confessed to a congenital horror of steel.

“That’s straight,” said Mike, as with shaking fingers he filled his peanut-oil lamp, and made ready to cook himself a pill, “I never could stand for a chive. An’ say” – he shuddered – “that monk has: one longer’n your arm.”

Sassy Sam and his snickersnee, however, did not cure Mike of his weakness for punching the Mongolian head. Nothing short of death could have done that.

Some six months prior to his caving in the skull of Low Foo, because of those shirts improperly missing, Mike did that which led to consequences. Prompted by an overplus of sweet, heady Chinese rum, or perhaps it was the heroic example of Sassy Sam, Ling Tchen, being surprised by Mike in Pell Street, did not – pig-tail flying – clatter inside and lock his door. More and worse, he faced Mike, faced him, coughed contumeliously and spat upon the cobbles. To merely soak Ling Tchen would have been no adequate retort – Ling Tchen who thus studied to shame him. Wherefore Mike killed him with a clasp knife, and even went so far as to cut off the dead Tchen’s head. The law might have taken notice of this killing, but some forethoughtful friend had had wit enough to tuck a gun beneath the dead Tchen’s blouse, and thus it became at once and obviously a case of self-defence.

There was a loose screw in the killing of Ling Tchen. The loose screw dwelt not in the manner of that killing, which had been not only thorough but artistic. Indeed, cutting off Ling Tchen’s head as a finale was nothing short of a stroke of genius. The loose screw was that Ling Tchen belonged to the Hip Sing Tong; and the Hip Sing Tongs lived in Pell Street, where Mike himself abode. To be sure, since Ling Tchen did the provoking, Mike had had no choice. Still, it might have come off better had Ling Tchen been an On Leon Tong. An On Leon Tong belongs in Mott Street and doesn’t dare poke his wheat-hued nose into Pell Street, where the Four Brothers and the Hip Sing Tongs are at home.

Mike’s room was in the rear, on the second floor of Number Twelve. It pleased and soothed him, he said, as he smoked a pill, to hear the muffled revelry below in Tony’s. He had just come from his room upon that shirt occasion which resulted so disastrously for Low Fee.

Mike was among friends in Tony’s. Having told in full how he did up Low Foo, and smashed that shirt thief’s laundry, Mike drank two glasses of beer, and said that he thought now he’d go upstairs and have a smoke.

“There must be somethin’ in lickin’ a chink,” expounded Mike, “that makes a guy hanker for th’ hop.”

“It’s early yet; better stick ‘round,” urged Tony, politely. “There is some high-rollers from Newport up here on a yacht, an’ crazy to see Chinatown in th’ summer when th’ blankets is off. Th’ dicks w’at’s got ‘em in tow, gives me th’ tip that they’ll come lungin’ in here about ten. They’re over in Mott Street now, takin’ a peek at the joss house an’ drinkin’ tea in the Port Arthur.”

“I don’t want to meet ‘em,” declared Mike. “Them stiffs makes me sick. If youse’d promise to lock th’ doors, Tony, an’ put ‘em all in th’ air for what they’ve got on ‘em, I might stay.”

“That’d be a wise play, I don’t think,” remarked the Dropper, who had just come in. “Tony’d last about as long as a dollar pointin’ stuss. Puttin’ a chink on th’ bum is easy, an’ a guy can get away wit’ it; but lay a finger on a Fift’ Avenoo Willie-boy, or look cockeyed at a spark-fawney on th’ finger of one of them dames, an’ a judge’ll fall over himself to hand youse twenty years.”

“Right youse be, Dropper!” said the sophistcated Tony.

Mike climbed the creaking stairway to his room.

Below, in Tony’s, the beer, the gossip, the music, the singing and the dancing went on. Pretty Agnes sang a new song, and was applauded. That is, she was applauded by all save Mollie Squint, who uplifted her nose and said that “it wasn’t so much.”

Mollie Squint was invited to sing, but refused.

About ten o’clock came the Newport contingent, fresh from quaffing tea and burning joss sticks. They were led by a she-captain of the Four Hundred, who shall go here as Mrs. Vee. Mrs. Vee, young, pretty, be-jeweled, was in top spirits. For she had just been divorced from her husband, and they put brandy into the Port Arthur tea if you tell them to.

Tony did the honors for Number Twelve. He and Mrs. Vee, surrounded by a fluttering flock of purple doves, all from aristocratic cotes, became as thick as thieves. The Dropper, who was not wanting in good looks and could spiel like a dancing master, went twice around the room with Mrs. Vee – just for a lark, you know – to a tune scraped from Tony’s fiddles and thumped from that publican’s piano. After which, Mrs. Vee and her flutter of followers, Willieboys and all, went their purple way.

Tony, with never flagging courtesy, escorted them to the door. What he beheld filled his somewhat sluggish soul with wonder. Pell Street was thronged with Chinamen. They were sitting or standing, all silent, faces void of meaning. The situation, too, was strange in this. A Chinaman could have told you that they were all of the Hip Sing Tong, and not a Four Brothers among them. He wouldn’t of course, for a Chinaman tells a white devil nothing. Pell, by the way, was as much the home street of the Four Brothers as of the Hip Sing Tong.

Tony expressed his astonishment at the pigtailed press which thronged the thoroughfare.

“This is how it is,” vouchsafed the explanatory Tony to Mrs. Vee and her purple fluttering doves. “Big Mike’s just after standin’ Low Foo’s wash-shop on its nut, an’ these monks are sizin’ up th’ wreck. When anything happens to a monk his tong makes good, see?”

Tony might not have said this had he recalled that Low Foo was a Four Brothers, and understood that no one not a Hip Sing Tong was in the crowd. Tony, however, recalled nothing, understood nothing; for he couldn’t tell one Chinaman from another.

“How interesting!” cooed Mrs. Vee, in response to Tony’s elucidation; and with that her flock of purple doves, in fluttering agreement, cooed, “How interesting!”

“Did youse lamp th’ ice on them dames?” asked Sop Henry, when the slumming Mrs. Vee and her suite were out of ear-shot.

Sop had an eye for diamonds.

“That bunch ain’t got a thing but money!” observed the Wop, his eyes glittering enviously. “I wisht I had half their cush.”

“Money ain’t th’ whole box of tricks.”

This deep declaration emanated from old Jimmy. Old Jimmy’s home was a rear room on Second Street near the Bowery, which overlooked a graveyard hidden in the heart of the block. There, when not restoring himself at Tony’s or Sirocco’s or Lyon’s, old Jimmy smoked a vile tobacco known as Sailors’ Choice, in a vile clay pipe as black as sin, and meditated. Having nothing to do but think, he evolved in time into a philosopher, and it became his habit to unload chunks of wisdom on whomsoever seemed to stand in need. Also, since he was warlike and carried a knife, and because anyone in hard luck could touch him for a dollar, he was listened to politely in what society he favored with his countenance.

“Money ain’t th’ whole box of tricks,” old Jimmy repeated, severely, wagging a grizzled head at the Wop, “an’ only you’re Irish an’ ignorant you wouldn’t have to be told so.”

“Jimmy, you’re nutty,” returned the Wop. “Never mind me bein’ nutty,” retorted old Jimmy, dogmatically. “I know all about th’ rich.” Then, in forgetfulness of his pension and the liberal source of it, he continued: “A rich man is so much like a fat hog that he’s seldom any good until he’s dead.”

Old Jimmy called for beer; wisdom is always dry. “Say?” observed the Dropper, airily, “do youse guys know that I’m thinkin’ I’ll just about cop off some dame with millions of dough, an’ marry her.”

“Would she have youse?” inquired Mollie Squint, with the flicker of a sneer.

“It’s easy money,” returned the Dropper; “all I has to do is put out me sign, see? Them rich frails would fall for me in a hully second.”

“You crooks can’t think of a thing but money,” snorted old Jimmy. “Marry a rich dame! A guy might as well get a job as valet or butler or footman somewhere an’ let it go at that. Do you mutts know what love is? Th’ one married chance of happiness is love. An’ to love, folks must be poor. Then they have to depend upon each other; and it’s only when people depend upon each other they love each other.”

“Jimmy,” quoth the Dropper, with mock sadness. “I can see your finish. You’ll land in Bloomingdale, playin’ wit’ a string of spools.”

“Did you ever,” demanded old Jimmy, disregarding the irreverent Dropper, “see some strapping young party, up against the skyline on an iron building, workin’ away wit’ one of them rivetin’ guns? Well, somewhere between th’ two rivers there’s a girl he’s married to, who’s doin’ a two-step ‘round a cook stove, fryin’ steak an’ onions for him, an’ keepin’ an eye out that their kids don’t do a high dive off th’ fire-escape. Them two people are th’ happiest in th’ world. Such boneheads as you can’t appreciate it, but they are. Give ‘em a million dollars an’ you’ll spoil it. They’d get a divorce; you’d put that household on th’ toboggan. If this Mister Vee, now, had been poor an’ drove a truck instead of bein’ rich an’ drivin’ a 6-horse coach, an’ if Mrs. Vee had been poor an’ done a catch-as-catch-can with th’ family washtub instead of havin’ money to burn an’ hirein’ a laundress, she’d never have bucked th’ divorce game, but lived happy ever after.”

“But, Jimmy,” interposed Tony, “I’ve seen poor folks scrap.”

“Sure,” assented Jimmy; “all married folks scrap – a little. But them’s only love spats, when they’re poor. Th’ wife begins ‘em. She thinks she’ll just about try hubby out, an’ see can he go some. Th’ only risk is him bein’ weak enough to let her win. She don’t want to win; victory would only embarrass her. What she’s after is a protector; an’ if hubby lets her put him on th’ floor for th’ count, she don’t know where she’s at. She’s dead sure she’s no good; an’ if he’s a quitter she’s left all in th’ air. Havin’ floored him, she thinks to herself, ‘This thing protect me? Why, I can lick him myself!’ After that, hubby might better keep close tabs on little Bright-eyes, or some mornin’ he’ll call the family roll an’ she won’t answer. Take a boy an’ a girl, both young, both square, both poor – so they’ll need each ether – an’, so he’s got her shaded a little should it come to th’ gloves, two bugs in a rug won’t have nothin’ on them.”

Old Jimmy up-ended his glass, as one who had settled grave matters, while the Dropper and the Wop shook contemplative heads.

“An’ yet,” said the Wop, after a pause, “goin’ back to them rich babies who was here, I still say I wisht I had their bundle.”

“It’s four for one,” returned old Jimmy, his philosophy again forging to the fore – “it’s four for one, Wop, you’d have a dead bad time. What street shows th’ most empty houses? Ain’t it Fift’ Ave-noo? Why be they empty? Because the ginks who lived in ‘em didn’t have a good time in ‘em. If they had they’d have stuck. A guy don’t go places, he leaves places. He don’t go to Europe, he leaves New York.”

Old Jimmy turned to Tony.

“Fill up th’ crockery. I’m talkin’ ‘way over th’ heads of these bums.”

“Ain’t he a wonder?” whispered Pretty Agnes to the Nailer.

“I should say as much,” responded the admiring Nailer. “He ought to be sellin’ gold bricks. He’s talked th’ Dropper an’ th’ Wop into a hard knot.”

The Dropper was not to be quelled, and insisted that Jimmy was conversing through his sou’wester.

“I don’t think so,” broke in Jew Yetta; “I strings wit’ Jimmy. Take a tumble to yourself, Dropper. If you was to marry one of them money dames, you’d have to go into high society. An’ then what? W’y, you’d look like a pig on a front porch.”

“Don’t youse bet on it,” declared the Dropper loftily. “There’s nothin’ in that high society stuff. A smart guy like me could learn his way t’rough in a week.”

“Could he?” said the Nailer, and his tones were tones of derision.

“That’s w’at I says!” replied the Dropper. Then, heatedly: “W’y, do you geeks think I’ve never been north of Fourteenth Street? Youse make me tired, Nailer. While you was up-th’-river, for toinin’ off that loft in Chambers Street, don’t I go to a shindy at th’ Demmycrat Club in honor of Sen’tor Depew? There was loidies there – th’ real thing, too. An’ wasn’t I another time at th’ Charlie Murphy dinner? Talk of high society! – if that ain’t high society, what is?”

Having squelched the Nailer, the Dropper proceeded more moderately.

“I remember th’ scare that’s t’run into me at the Depew racket. I’ve been put up ag’inst some hot propositions, but if ever I’m faded it’s then when, for th’ foist time, I lamps a full-blown dame in evenin’ dress. On th’ dead, I felt like yellin’ ‘Police!’”

“Phwat was it scared yez, Dropper?” asked the Wop.

“It ain’t that I’m so scared as rattled. There’s too much free-board to them evenin’ dresses.”

“An’ the Charlie Murphy banquet,” said Pretty Agnes, wistfully. “Didn’t yez get cold feet?”

“Naw, I don’t git cold feet. I admits I falls down, I don’t try to sidestep that; but it wasn’t my fault. Do it over again, an’ I’d go t’rough wit’ bells on.”

“How did youse fall down?”

“It’s be accident; I takes th’ wrong steer, that’s all. I makes it a point, knowin’ I’m none too wise, to plant meself when we pulls up to the feed opposite to a gilded old bunk, who looked like ready money. ‘Do as he does, Dropper’ I says to meself, ‘an’ you’re winner in a walk!’ So, when he plays a fork, I plays a fork; if he boards a chive, I boards a chive; from soup to birds I’m steerin’ be his wake. Then all of a sudden I cops a shock. We’ve just made some roast squabs look like five cents worth of lard in a paper bag, an’ slopped out a bunch of fizz to wash ‘em down, when what does that old Rube do but up an’ sink his hooks in a bowl of water. Honest, I like to ‘ve fell in a fit! There I’d been feelin’ as cunning as a pet fox, an’ me on a dead one from th’ jump!”

“Did any of them smart Alecks give youse th’ laugh?” asked the Nailer.

“Give me th’ laugh,” repeated the Dropper, disgustedly. “I’d have smashed whoever did in th’ eye.”

While beer and conversation were flowing in Number Twelve, a sophisticated eye would have noted divers outside matters which might or might not have had a meaning. On the heels of Big Mike’s laundry deeds of desolation and destruction at Low Foo’s, not a Chinaman was visible in Pell Street. It was the same when Mike came out of Tony’s and climbed the stairs to his room. Mike safely retired from the field, a handful of Four Brothers – all of them Lows and of the immediate clan of Low Foo – showed up, and took a slanteyed squint at what ruin had been wrought. They spoke not above a murmur, but as nearly as a white devil might gather a meaning, they were of the view that no monsoon could have more thoroughly scrap-heaped the belongings of Low Foo.

Other Chinamen began to gather, scores upon scores. These were Hip Sing Tongs, and they paid not the slightest heed to Low Foo’s laundry, or what was left of it. What Four Brothers were abroad did not mingle with the Hip Sing Tongs, although the two tribes lived in friendship. The Four Brothers quietly withdrew, each to his own den, and left the Hip Sing Tongs in possession of the street.