Kitabı oku: «Hot-Shot Doc, Secret Dad», sayfa 2

Julie glanced at the man sitting next to her, smiling benevolently, and tried her best not to betray her thoughts.

Would he have accused her of only being after his family’s money, as her father had suggested? Being so young, she’d believed her parent’s predictions. And she’d been hurt, so hurt when she’d been forced to realize she didn’t mean anything to Trevor.

She’d been too young, immature, emotionally wounded and way too mixed up to work out all the particulars. How could she be expected to act rationally? But she’d stub-bornly chosen to keep Trevor in the dark. She’d show him. At least that was how it had started out. Then the reality of being a single mom and supporting herself had kicked in, and she’d been bound and determined to prove her parents wrong. She could do it all. She would do it all. Trevor had practically been forgotten by then. Now all these years later, she’d have to face her decision and somehow justify it.

Here she was accepting an apology from a man who’d taken her virginity but didn’t have any idea he was a father. That huge, and quite possibly unforgivable, reality twisted and tied into a knot the entire size of her stomach, making it hard to breathe.

“So you have my word that I’ll only behave respectfully and professionally toward you from here on out.” Could the guy sound any stiffer? Could she feel any worse?

Remember to breathe. “I appreciate that.” She figured she’d better ensure one thing before moving forward with what she suddenly needed—had no choice, in her mind—to do. “And I definitely have the job, right? And not just because of that?”

He gave a relieved smile. “I expect you to be here at eight tomorrow morning. Our first patient is scheduled for eight-thirty.”

She nodded, the rapid beating of her heart pounding up her neck and into her ears. She couldn’t keep the lie going, not if she’d have to face this man every day at work. It would eat away at her conscience. Might even interfere with her job performance. She couldn’t allow that to happen. For a millisecond she wished she’d never come back home, but James needed a chance at a better life. And she was hell-bent on giving it to him.

When she realized she’d been staring at her folded hands far too long, her gaze flitted upward to find Trevor’s perplexed expression. Oh, yeah, he was onto the fact something else was brewing.

She owed him the truth. Hadn’t he just taken a huge risk, bringing up their past, setting the record straight that he’d regretted their one time together?

Didn’t he deserve to know there were consequences? How on earth would he react?

Her pulse switched to a fluttery rhythm, vibrating all over her chest. This was the moment of truth, and she couldn’t let it pass.

“Trevor. Uh, about that night.” She looked straight ahead, unable to engage his eyes for now. Could he sense the dread in her voice?

James is the most wonderful gift in your life. There’s no room for shame over your son. Just tell him already!

“I mentioned I have a son, James. He’s twelve. Twelve years, nine months, to be exact.” Would he do the math instantaneously? She twisted an imaginary ring on her left hand, knowing she had to look Trevor in the eyes when she told him. Dreading it.

With every last nerve she could gather, she forced her gaze to his, praying he’d understand and not accuse her of lying. If he did, she’d have to quit the job before she ever started. “Well, since we’re laying everything out on the table today, I want you to know that …” She had to swallow first, because her throat seemed to have closed down.

His stare drilled into hers and her chest felt as if it would implode. She took a sip of air and just blurted it out.

“You’re the father.”

CHAPTER TWO

TREVOR’S BREATH WHOOSHED out of him as if he’d just been kicked in the solar plexus. Well, metaphorically, hadn’t he been? Julie Sterling—a one-night stand from the last night of a particularly great summer vacation—had just gifted him with the news. He was a father of a twelve-year-old boy and had never known it.

“What are you telling me?” He blinked, fighting off disbelief and a surge of anger.

Julie sat there, chin high, staring at him, looking far too young to be thirty-one.

In fact, right now she looked more like that pretty little gal with the wild curly brown hair and huge hazel eyes he’d played fast and reckless with that one night, all those years ago. She still had freckles across the bridge of her nose, and the thickest eyelashes he’d ever seen, and two minutes ago he’d been thinking how great it might be to get to know her again, how beautiful she’d become, how she still set off a reaction he’d forgotten about these past few years. Then she’d lowered the boom and hit him with the craziest news of his life. He had a son?

“I’m telling you the truth. I owe it to you,” she said. “I got pregnant that night.”

He needed to stand. Needed to inhale. Needed to pound his fist into the wall. Was she a whack job, setting him up? His legs seemed undependable at the moment, so he leaned against his desk and dug his hands into his jeans pockets, because he didn’t know what else to do with them. He finally remembered to close his mouth. “You’re sure that I’m the one who got you pregnant?”

Yeah, he was being ridiculously slow on the uptake, on purpose, and maybe a little insulting, too, might even qualify as a jerk, but he’d proved that long ago when he’d never called her after they’d been together. He needed time to process this flabbergasting and life-altering information.

He was a father? What if he didn’t want to be? Damn it, why hadn’t she given him a choice in the matter?

She nodded, unwavering in her speculative stare, her hands knotted in her lap. “As you mentioned earlier, I was a virgin. I didn’t run off and start sleeping around after that either. The OB doc tracked the pregnancy to nearly that exact day.”

Trevor’s hand flew to the top of his head, needing to check for a nonexistent cowboy hat. All these years he’d been a father? “Look, I’m sorry for how that may have come off. I’m just really thrown right now.” Getting kicked off a bucking bull couldn’t have felt worse.

“Understandably.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

She slowly shook her head. “I didn’t want to ruin your first year in med school. Didn’t want you to feel obligated to me.” She glanced at the floor. “Didn’t want you to tell me to—”

“Look, I honestly don’t know what I would have done then. It would’ve been nice to have some say in the matter, but I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have told you to get rid of it. Er … him.” He grimaced. “James, is it?” His head spun with the knowledge of his son. A kid he’d never had an ounce of input in walked the earth not knowing he had a father. Did James know that he was his father?

“James Monty Sterling.”

“Monty? You know that’s my dad’s nickname, right?”

Still staring at the floor, she nodded.

So that was the one connection she’d kept to his family, and it was only a nickname. He ground his teeth to keep from spitting out the words flying through his head. Anger circled around like a hawk zeroing in on its prey. That urge to bash something with his fist returned, so he shoved his hands deeper into his pockets. “That wasn’t right of you.”

Her startled look hit him square in the jaw. “It might not have been right, but it’s what I did. I can’t apologize for it, but if you don’t want to hire me, I get it.”

Could he face her every day, forced to wonder how different the boy’s life would have been if he’d been in it? Would the kid have needed to go to military school if he’d had a father in his life? Why had she held out on him, and could he forgive her? Right now, he wasn’t sure what any of the answers were, but he knew he couldn’t fire her. To spite her, he’d only harm the kid. Instinct told him that wasn’t right.

She’d come back to her hometown to deal with her parents’ estate, and to put her, uh, their son in military school. All these years, she’d never hit him up for money or support on any level, even knowing his family was well off. There had to be something noble in that, except it was a boneheaded thing to do in the first place. She said she hadn’t wanted to ruin his first year in medical school, yet she’d changed the course of her entire life by taking sole responsibility for the act they’d done together.

Taking that into account, some of the rage swirling through his mind simmered down.

Nope, it didn’t seem fair to never know he was a father, but she’d called the shots, and unbeknownst to him he’d stood by in ignorance.

He could only imagine the nerve it took to drop that bomb, and how she’d had to swallow some major pride to apply for a job in his clinic in the first place. Had he been set up?

Something about her pouring out her heart to him after all these years, while having borne the burden of being a single parent for a kid who was half as much his as hers, made him zip through what was left of the shocked, angry and accusatory part. Before he realized what he was doing, he dropped to one knee to take her white-knuckle hands in his.

Her guts at finally telling him overrode his stunned reaction.

He studied her face. What the hell was he supposed to say?

“As you can imagine, I need some time to let this news sink in. I’ve never married and don’t have any kids, so the thought of being a father to a nearly thirteen-year-old son is mind-blowing.”

“I understand.”

She let him hold her hands, but still didn’t look at him.

“Your job’s safe.” Hell, he couldn’t very well kick the mother of his child out on the street, could he? Nor did he want to. He’d been anything but honorable way back then, turned out so had she, but that was all history and it couldn’t be changed. Right now was a chance to make up for it, and there was a kid in need of military school at stake. “But honestly, I’m going to need time to figure out what to do about the fatherhood part.”

“Of course.” Finally she engaged his eyes, looking amazingly earnest and so damn appealing, the expression grabbed his heart and squeezed it. Why did he still feel connected to her? Well, criminy, he was totally bonded to her by a kid, just didn’t know it until now! “I’m fine with keeping this strictly between us for now. I love my son and that will never change, and I don’t expect you to suddenly change your life. I’m just going for full disclosure here. New job and all.”

He patted her hand, thinking how soft and fragile it was, how right it felt cupped in his palm. “Give me some time to work this through, okay?”

“Okay, but first you’ve got to understand I’m not asking for anything but this job, Trevor.”

He nodded. “I believe you.”

“So let’s just keep this under wraps and move forward with my employment for now—is that okay?”

“If only it were that easy, Julie, but okay.” He stood, shaking his head like it might help put sense into the latest news. It didn’t. “At some point I’m going to want to meet him. Tell him.”

“If that time comes, we’ve got to do it together. Promise me that.”

He nodded. “Okay.”

She stood. “I won’t force it. Just so you know.”

He nodded again.

“So I’ll see you tomorrow morning, then?” A definite tentative tone to her question.

“Sure.” Still stunned, he didn’t have a clue what to do next, and his mind, in its currently baffled state, wasn’t exactly coming up with anything else to say either.

Julie headed for the door, her bulky winter coat over her arm, the conservative navy business suit she’d worn fitting her narrow waist and rounded hips perfectly. He glanced at her shapely calves, remembering how he’d liked her legs in short shorts that summer. Man, had that gotten him into trouble … and all these years he’d never even known just how much.

He scratched his head, curiosity causing him to ask. “Do you have a picture of James?”

She stopped and turned. “Of course. You want to see him?” A cautious yet agreeable glint in her eyes led to a flicker of that girl from all those summers ago.

“Please.” All kinds of new feelings buzzed around inside his body; his mind jumped from possibility to implausibility and back. He was a father?

She dug into her purse and produced a red leather wallet, opened it and immediately found a standard school photo and proudly showed it to him. “He’s tall for his age.”

He took it. If he’d doubted for one second that he’d actually been the father, he couldn’t very well do it now. And shame on him for even holding out a tiny hope it wasn’t true. The kid staring at him from the picture was a gangly version of himself at twelve or thirteen, but with Julie’s lighter brown, curly hair and freckles over the bridge of his nose. He suppressed his reaction, but was pretty sure she’d already picked up on it. That DNA couldn’t be denied.

“Thanks.”

“You want to keep it? I’ve got plenty more.”

Did he want to take the first step …? Hell, he’d done that thirteen years ago. “Sure. Thanks.” How could he refuse?

Julie gave a demure yet hopeful smile. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning, then.”

He tore his gaze from the photo and exhaled, then watched her walk down the hall to the exit. “I’ll be here.” Then he put the boy’s picture in his desk drawer and closed it.

What the hell was he supposed to do now?

Rather than head straight to the house and face his father, since the sun had poked out that afternoon, Trevor decided to take a ride on Zebulon to help work through the residual anger directed at his newest employee. He also needed to check the area that his smartphone mapping app said was down. Until grazing-management technology was able to produce virtual fences and cattle headgear, he’d continue to do things the old-fashioned way—by hand. And today he’d use this possible boundary breach as an excuse to avoid facing his father. Besides, he needed more time to run the latest news through his brain—for about the hundredth time since Julie had told him he was a father.

He’d come home after graduating from college to help out on the ranch before heading off to medical school. He’d learned to work hard and play hard back then—he’d even finished his undergraduate work in three years instead of the usual four—and every weekend that summer, after helping out on the ranch, he’d hit whichever party in town that had promised the most ladies. Because he’d deserved it. At least, that was what he used to tell himself.

Sitting atop Zebulon, his buckskin Appaloosa, Trevor felt the frigid air cut through his lungs. He inhaled deeper, hoping the burn might shock some sense into him. Yet so far, he couldn’t get Julie and James Sterling, his ready-made family, out of his mind.

Back then, the year he’d met her, word had traveled fast in their tiny town, and it had always been easy to find out about the weekend hangouts. It hadn’t taken much to make a party. An old abandoned barn or a campfire ring, some bales of hay to sit on, car radios for music. The gatherings, as they used to call the weekly events, had always been well attended.

At twenty-one, he hadn’t been a teenager anymore, but he’d gotten used to partying on weekends at the university, so he’d gone. Got treated like near royalty as a college grad, too. And that was the first time he’d noticed Julie. He’d asked one of his buddies who she was and he’d told him she was seventeen and had just graduated from high school. They’d spent most of that summer checking out each other, but something had kept Trevor from approaching her. He hadn’t had any plans that included getting involved with a girl, not back home anyway, and maybe he’d instinctively known she might be trouble. Trouble? With that sweet face and sinful body?

Oh, yeah, trouble—big trouble. And damned if he hadn’t walked right into it.

“Will you dance with me?” she’d asked that night, looking all innocent and pretty as summer itself in a little flowery sundress. It had been the last weekend before he was set to leave for Boston University School of Medicine. He’d held out all summer, but something about the way the campfire had outlined her wild hair, making it look golden with shooting solar flares for curls, had made him accept the beer she’d handed him, and the offer to dance. He even remembered thinking, This is probably the dumbest thing I’ve ever done, and yet he hadn’t been able to help himself and had done it anyway. And it had been a slow dance.

He’d had a couple of beers already; even so he’d known he shouldn’t talk to or dance with this girl, but he hadn’t been able to resist. Not when she’d been right there, smiling so pretty.

Zebulon stopped without reason, and Trevor snapped out of his memories, realizing they were already at the fence line, and sure enough a couple of posts were down. He texted Jack, the ranch foreman, giving him the location, and waited for his reply.

And he remembered Julie’s bright, though guarded, eyes from earlier, how they’d still enticed him. How they’d brought back memories of that last summer home before med school, and his taking advantage of the young woman’s willingness that night. How they’d reminded him of innocence, both his and hers. She was right—she could have ruined the life he’d planned if she’d told him about the pregnancy back then. But she hadn’t. That had taken some guts.

In order to get through her orientation at the clinic, he’d have to turn into the Tin Man. Even now her playful hair and matured features grabbed him in a place he’d rather forget. Yeah, the Tin Man approach was the only ticket regarding her working for him. Good thing his nasty breakup with Kimberley—how she’d dropped him like a bad virus when he’d chosen family medicine over a more prestigious specialty the fourth year of med school—had already taught him how to turn his heart to metal.

His cell phone blipped, bringing him back to the range. Jack had got the message.

Normally, Trevor would have thought to bring his fence-repair kit with him, but today he’d been so distracted by Julie’s news, it had taken all his brainpower just to saddle up and mount his horse. He glanced upward to a cloudless sky, then downrange, seeing hundreds of head of cattle roaming on snow-spotted land.

Getting a girl pregnant hadn’t been his plan that year. Not by a long shot. Hell, he’d just found out the week before his mother had had an abnormal endometrial biopsy and needed more tests. Worrying about her, and about how his first semester in competitive medical school would go, with his big brother’s exceptional brain to compete with, he’d decided to let off some steam that one last weekend, before he’d have to completely buckle down.

And he’d danced with the girl with wild hair and the biggest eyes he could remember.

Zebulon whinnied about something, and Trevor glanced up again. Jack was already heading to the fence and had nearly caught up to him. Who knew how long Trevor had been sitting on the range, staring and thinking?

The man waved as he approached, then stopped. “Thanks for the heads up. We can’t afford to have any more steer wander off. Not with the grey wolves showing up more and more in these parts.”

“Thanks.”

“Until we can budget for putting chips in our cattle, we’ll have to manage like we always have.” Branding and fences seemed so far out of date. Jack was in his early forties and kept up with modern ranching trends. Truth was, Tiberius—Monty—Montgomery was old-school, and not the least bit interested in learning new techniques, or utilizing software and technology for running his ranch. The man still insisted on keeping handwritten bookkeeping ledgers, which Trevor would have to transfer to his own computer books when he got home.

“I’ll talk to Dad again about the cost to chip the cattle, and mention the long-term savings.”

“You do that. Maybe he’ll listen to you.”

Trevor seriously doubted it.

The men smiled at each other and went their separate ways, leaving Trevor to his mind-boggling thoughts. He remembered the exact instant he’d realized Julie was a virgin, he’d stopped thrusting for a moment and looked at her. “Are you sure?” he’d asked. Though she’d grimaced, she’d bucked under his hips, urging him not to stop. He had been soon taken over by his desire; the fact they were having sex while lying in a foot of hay in a barn loft for her first time hadn’t registered. Nope, it was only after they’d snuggled up close afterwards, and he had smelled summer in her hair and sex on her skin, that he’d started to feel guilty. He’d been on the verge of bringing up the subject when two of her friends had called her name at the barn entrance, told her they were leaving and she’d better come with them. Julie had jumped up, thrown on her dress and underwear, then kissed him one last time and disappeared with her girlfriends. That was when their situation had started to sink in.

No, she wouldn’t see him again.

She hadn’t had a clue he’d be gone by Monday, yet he’d let her go, then lain there and stared through the cracks in the roof of the barn at the black summer sky, thinking he’d done something he shouldn’t have. Something he’d really enjoyed, but would regret. And he hadn’t even had the decency to see her home.

Well, at least she hadn’t lost her virginity in the back of the old beat-up car he’d been driving that summer, his brother’s hand-me-down. A barn loft had to be more romantic than that. Right?

He racked his brain and knew he’d used contraception, just as he had all through college. No girl had gotten pregnant … until Julie.

Zebulon galloped toward the barn, like a homing pigeon, obviously eager to get brushed and fed. Trevor dismounted his horse and pushed the nagging thought of Julie and that night out of his mind. He should have at least said goodbye to her. It was the decent thing to do. He should have called and told her he was sorry for taking her virginity, too. Yet he’d done neither. Instead he’d left town for med school and never looked back. Soon forgetting all about her and that night.

Until her name and credentials had come across his desk on a job application.

His long-overdue apology hadn’t been the least bit honorable. It had been obligatory and smarmy. What a heel he’d turned out to be.

Trevor walked the path to his home, the only place he’d ever lived, outside college and medical school, and gritted his teeth thinking it would be extra hard to hide his feelings from his father over dinner tonight. But he sure as hell would because this was one topic he did not want to bring up over one of Gretchen’s casseroles.

But at least by hiring Julie today, he had a chance to make up for taking advantage of her thirteen years ago. There might still be a chance to win back a thread of honor. To meet his son and become the father the kid deserved.

The thought scared the tar out of him.

The next morning Julie kept her word and arrived at the clinic fifteen minutes early, butterflies swarming through her insides and gathering in her stomach. Charlotte, the RN, was there to greet her. Late forties. Graying dull brown hair pulled back tight in a low ponytail. Stocky and average height, wearing a glaring white uniform. Julie surmised the woman loved being a nurse.

“So you’re our new RNP?” Charlotte shoved out a sturdy and rough hand for a shake. “Nice to meet you. Call me Lotte, like my friends. What do you say I give you a tour of the joint before you shadow Dr. Montgomery?”

Grateful for putting off facing Trevor for a second time, especially since she could barely sleep last night from thinking of him, Julie smiled. “I’d love to, thanks.”

Fifteen minutes later, having been shown how each examination room was set up, as well as the procedure room, where the medical supplies and ever-important linens were kept, Julie was escorted back to Trevor’s office.

“Good morning,” he said, looking intriguing and appealing with a day’s growth of beard. The vision nearly made her stop in her tracks. Then she noticed his wildeyed glance and understood how deeply she’d rocked his world yesterday.

Yeah, they both had things to deal with, and working together wouldn’t be easy.

Julie greeted him with a catch in her breath. Those flashing dark eyes were responsible. As well as the perfectly ironed classic Western shirt. Why did she have to notice?

She’d taken extra care to wear comfortable yet stylish clothes today. Black slacks with matching low-heeled leather boots, and an ice-blue thin sweater that her hazel eyes would surely pick up the color from. She’d pulled her hair back from her face, with a folded blue, patterned scarf tied at her neck under the hair that dusted her shoulders. It was either that or a dull old black headband, and she’d gone for color and California style. Not that she’d wanted to catch Trevor’s attention or anything.

These days, in LA, doctors and RNPs no longer wore white coats. She was interested to see if she’d be given one here since studies had shown lab coats carried germs instead of protecting doctors and patients from them.

Trevor motioned her over. “Let me show you the charting system.”

Julie didn’t want to get too close, but he used a small laptop computer to sign in on for their first patient. Sure enough, she had to get close enough to catch the scent of his soap and masculine aftershave and the effect was far too heady for this time of the morning. Fortunately, the young man’s information popped up, distracting her, and Trevor explained the various windows to use and entries she’d be required to make.

“Don’t worry, I won’t make you do this until you feel ready.” He tossed her a friendly smile that put her on edge instead of comforting her. How would she handle the entire orientation at such close range? She needed to adjust her attitude and quick. If he could act detached and businesslike so could she.

Switching to all business, she armored herself with a professional disposition. Besides, Trevor seemed to have already forgotten yesterday’s news, and, even though it cut deep, Julie was grateful for the hiatus.

Trevor stood, laptop in hand, and headed for Exam Room One, where Donald Richardson, a twenty-seven-year-old type-1 diabetic ranch hand, waited. His chief complaint being nasal congestion for ten days and a headache for the past four to five.

After a friendly greeting and introduction of Julie to the patient, Trevor performed a quick examination of his nasal passages. Based on the examination, plus seeing a chart notation from Lotte, it seemed Donald’s temperature was elevated. Trevor told him it looked like he had a sinus infection.

“Take off your shirt so I can listen to your lungs,” Dr. Montgomery said.

Off came the shirt, and Trevor did not look pleased. “What’s this?” He pointed to a colorful shoulder tattoo.

Donald gave a sheepish glance. “My new tattoo.”

Trevor still didn’t look happy, and Julie assumed it was because of the possibility for complications that diabetics might face with body art.

“Did you bring your daily blood-sugar numbers?” Trevor wasn’t going to give the man a break just yet. He pushed some buttons on the laptop and brought up the most recent lab results, then took the small booklet Donald handed him. After glancing at the last couple weeks’ blood sugars, and sliding-scale insulin injections, he shared the info with Julie. She glanced at the computer screen and saw that Donald’s last A1C test was under 7 percent, which was a good thing.

“You know your kidney function has been borderline for a while now, and if you don’t keep your blood sugar under control, getting a tattoo can be dangerous.”

Donald hung his head, as if he was sick of hearing the diabetes story whenever he wanted to do or try something new. “I’ve been keeping it clean and there isn’t any sign of infection.”

“And that’s a good thing. But would you do me a favor, and next time you decide to get a tattoo, or body piercing or anything invasive, would you let me run some lab tests first? The last thing you need is to put your life in danger. If your blood sugar is high, a tattoo can be a playground for bacteria. That bacteria can invade your body and cause all kinds of trouble. Which is exactly what you don’t need.”

“I’ve been doing pretty good with the blood sugars.”

“I can see that. I’m just playing the devil’s advocate.”

From Julie’s assessment, Donald kept his weight under control and looked healthy. But the outside package didn’t always reflect the microscopic goings-on inside the body.

“I understand. You’re just looking out for me.”

“As long as we understand each other.”

“Okay. I promise. But, really, isn’t she a beaut?” Donald nodded at the tropical-inspired tattoo. “Whenever it’s colder than the North Pole up here, I’m going to look at this picture and dream about being in Hawaii.”

Trevor smiled. “That’s another place you’d have to work extra hard to keep your sugars balanced. Hot sticky weather is a playground—”

“—for bacteria. I get it, Doc.”

They exchanged a strained smile, and Julie fought to keep hers to herself.

“Well, the prescription I’m writing for the sinus infection should help, in case this tattoo springs an infection.” He wrote it out, tore it off, and handed it to the younger man. “If you notice any pain, swelling, redness, warmth, streaks or pus on or near that tattoo you let me know immediately.”

“I will, Dr. Montgomery, I promise,” Donald said as he buttoned up his shirt.

“And I gave you seven days of antibiotics for your sinuses. Take all of them. After that, if you aren’t completely cleared up, give me a call.”

“Will do.”

“Oh, and this is Julie Sterling, our new nurse practitioner.”