Kitabı oku: «The Mistresses Collection», sayfa 17
Eight
“I’m glad you talked me into that.”
Agreeing wholeheartedly, Zack flipped Trinity over and on top of him then wove his palms over the satiny plane of her back, down over the smooth rise of her behind.
“You really didn’t need much persuading.”
“Must be the isolation.”
He grinned. “Cabin fever?”
“I’m still a little restless.”
His hands curved in and went deeper. “Good, because I’m nowhere near finished with my remedy.”
Her smile slid over to capture his mouth. It seemed they hadn’t stopped kissing and yet he couldn’t imagine ever growing tired of the way her tongue danced with his—sometimes darting and hungry. At other times, like now, sensual, weaving…coaxing blood to rush to places that were more than ready for Act II. He’d never felt so satisfied and yet so ready for more.
He was repositioning her hips over his, seriously considering grabbing another condom and taking this joining to the next heart-pumping level, when a little of her kiss’s enthusiasm seemed to wane. Zack craned his neck, deepened the kiss but gradually her lips left his. In the misty light, he frowned up as she peered with a guilty look glistening in those beautiful thickly lashed eyes.
“Are you tired?” he asked.
“A little uneasy.”
Grinning, he swept her over until he was the one on top. “I know how to fix uneasy.”
He lowered his mouth to her throat and began to work his way inch by delectable inch down. But rather than feel her sink into the mattress and melt beneath him, she held back. Stiffened. His head came up and he frowned.
“Am I losing my flair?”
She caught him under the arms and he let her drag him up. She looked so concerned, his chest squeezed. Whatever her worry was, he wanted to kiss it all away.
“Would it be silly,” she asked, “to move back downstairs?”
“You want to be nearer the baby?”
“I know Cruiser’s there on watch,” she went on. “I know she probably won’t wake until morning.” She fingered a lock of hair away from his eyes. “Just somehow I’d feel better.”
He thought it through and nodded. “Me, too.”
Her face split with a smile. “Really?”
“On one condition. We stay warm only through body heat and the fire. As sexy as I find them, I don’t want a hint of red silk pj’s coming between us tonight.”
She snatched a happy kiss and stayed close to rub the tip of his nose with hers. “Deal.”
While she visited the bathroom, he found two oversize robes from his walk-in closet and slipped a couple of extra condoms in the largest robe’s pocket. A moment later, they were “dressed” and stepping over Cruiser to pop their heads inside that downstairs bedroom.
A sidelight cast a soft glow over the room. Bonnie was sound asleep, her arms at right angles along either side of her head. Cruiser appeared to be off in doggy slumberland, too, although Zack wondered whether he was playing possum in case, for some reason, they tried to get him to move.
A moment later, while Trinity got herself snug under the quilts, Zack stoked the fire. When the flames were beyond toasty, he shirked out of his robe and joined her. He pulled at her sash and Trinity didn’t object. She merely sat up, peeled the heavy sleeves off her shoulders and happily snuggled down against him, naked among the pillows and quilts.
Seeing her body briefly in the flickering of the fire glow only fed his intentions to make love again. And again. But she seemed so comfortable nestling against his chest, her cheek resting on one pec, her breath warm on his throat; he didn’t want to disturb her. So he wound that arm more securely around her and dropped a lingering kiss on her sweet-smelling crown.
This day couldn’t have had a better ending.
After the way Zack had brought her to climax, Trinity was content to simply lie here and reflect. But when her trailing nails brushed his growing erection, she couldn’t help from turning her face to graze his flat nipple with her teeth while her hand clutched his shaft and dragged the length up to its tip.
His body locked at the same time his penis throbbed and he rubbed his lips over her hair.
“I was thinking you might want a break but I’m more than happy to play.”
“We can talk as well.”
He shuddered out a sigh. “Keep doing that and I’ll agree to anything.”
“What if I do this?”
She dragged her hand back and forth at the same time dabbing moist kisses between his sternum and his navel.
“I need to warn you right now how good that feels.”
Teasing, she tugged again and his hips came off the floor.
“Tell me more about this house.” Your home.
His eyes closed, he groaned and his head went to one side. “What do you want to know?”
“What drew you to it first?”
“It feels…peaceful.” Her hand slid away and he growled. “You don’t have to stop.”
“I’m afraid you won’t be able to carry on a conversation.”
“Some say talk is overrated.”
She rolled over more toward him and rested her chin on her bunched hand. “A sense of peace, you say.”
“This whole town has it,” he croaked. “At Christmas time, they put on a big evening of music and games for the kids. At the end of the night, a huge tree in the middle of Main Street gets lit up. The star at the top is massive.”
“Sounds like a great place to raise a family,” she said, half to herself.
“The family I bought this home from had twin boys. The dad would take them fly-fishing and hiking. Both times I came to look the house over, the entire place smelled of brownies baking. I like brownies.”
“Ever tried to bake them yourself?”
“I usually pick some up from a shop in town.” In the flickering light, his gaze sharpened. “Do you bake?”
“I used to do all the cooking when I was younger so now I avoid it every chance I get.”
“Ever go hiking?”
“Never in Colorado.”
He tucked one hand behind his head. While he smiled at some imaginary point beyond the ceiling, Trinity drank in the magnificent view of one bulging bicep.
“The scenery here is pretty amazing,” he said. “The air when you really get out is the purest you’ll ever breathe.”
“Doesn’t sound like you’re in a hurry to get back to New York.”
“New York’s home.”
“It doesn’t have to be. Isn’t the saying—‘home is where the heart is’?”
He shifted so that she moved and he lay on his side facing her. As shadows danced over his arm, he curled hair back from her cheek and asked, “Where’s your heart?”
The question took her aback. She thought and decided, “I guess I’m still searching.”
“So not in writing for magazines?”
“That’s what I do, Zack. Not who I am.”
“Why can I see you working with children somehow?”
“I thought about it once. Believe it or not, I wanted to work somewhere in Child Services. But I didn’t know if I was strong enough.” She had a flashback to that much earlier darker time and winced. “Too close to it all, I guess.”
“I think being close is exactly what a job like that needs. Any department or organization to do with children would be lucky to have you.”
She wanted to hug him for that but…“I wouldn’t feel as if I could ever do enough.”
His grin was soft, encouraging. “Says you who obviously has so much to give.”
When his gaze lowered to her lips and his mouth found hers again, Trinity was taken over by a wave of new emotions, feelings that left her so energized and at the same time strangely serene. Zack Harrison barely knew her, and yet this minute it felt as if he knew her better than anyone, including herself.
Nine
He was dreaming of a snarling tiger with foot-long canines pouncing on Bonnie, meaning to drag her away, when the rhythmic pounding of those distant jungle drums suddenly changed tack into a more conscious stream and Zack was thrown awake with a jolt.
Jumping up, Zack’s reflexes sent his every sense flying to the source of the noise—the windows. One horrifying moment later, he realized what he was hearing and why. On the same breath, he understood that he was crouched in a defense/attack stance and wearing exactly no clothes.
He couldn’t recall the last time he’d been embarrassed but he was darn sure he’d never forget this moment.
Ripping a quilt off the nearest recliner, he lashed the bulk as best he could around his hips at the same time Trinity groaned and, scratching her head, sat up. Wild hair. Big yawn. And no clothes there, either. Not a stitch.
Blinking drowsy eyes, she squinted up at him and frowned. “What’s going on?”
“Someone’s outside?”
“Someone else needing a home?”
“I’m pretty sure it’s the woman from Child Services.”
Trinity’s questioning look turned to a mask of stark horror. And as her focus flew to the windows—to the woman wearing rubber boots and a dour face—he read Trinity’s mind. Why had that woman come around the back? For Pete’s sake, hadn’t anyone heard of a front door?
While Trinity scooped her arms through a nearby robe and knotted the tie at her waist, Zack took a breath and crossed to open the door. Her boots were muddy but he wouldn’t ask this visitor to come in via the mudroom entry.
She stepped inside with a, “Mr. Harrison. I’m Cressida Cassidy. I’ve caught you at a bad time.”
“Not a bad time.” He tossed an innocent look Trinity’s way. “Would you say ‘bad’?”
She shrugged and hugged herself in a robe that puddled around her feet. “Maybe a little inconvenient.”
Ms. Cassidy’s smile was paper-thin. “You didn’t mention you were married.”
“I’m not.”
The woman blinked then sniffed. “I see.”
He pushed on. “This is Trinity…” His mind went blank. “Ah, Trinity…”
Trinity threw out a welcoming hand. “Matthews.”
Zack ran a hand through his bed hair. “Early mornings my brain doesn’t work so well.”
“It’s after nine,” Ms. Cassidy said, releasing Trinity’s hand as if it might be contaminated with some rare STD. “I apologize for taking you both unawares. You may not know but a large trunk has fallen directly across the entrance to your front door. Rather than trying to scale the—”
A far-off cry interrupted Ms. Cassidy’s tale. She blanched at the same time Zack froze and Trinity leaped off and into action. The baby sounded as if she’d been stuck with a pin. While his pulse thudded in his temples, Zack forced himself to stand calmly as a clearly concerned Ms. Cassidy waited for Trinity’s return.
As worry turned to suspicion, Ms. Cassidy’s face began to harden and her double chin pulled in. “Mr. Harrison, where have you got that baby?”
An appeasing gesture, both Zack’s palms went up. “She’s perfectly safe. Cruiser’s looking out for her.”
“Who’s Cruiser?”
At that moment, the dog barreled out and plowed into the backs of his legs. Zack winced and introduced the other member of the household. “Cruiser, Ms. Cassidy.”
“You let a dog babysit?”
“Only last night. We were right here pretty much the whole time.”
Her attention skated over to the empty wine bottle and her lips pursed. “I’d like to see the baby.”
Trinity sang out. “Be there in a sec!”
While Ms. Cassidy tapped her boot, sending mud splatters over the timber floor, Zack zipped into the laundry room and pulled on some jeans and a T-shirt. He came out running a smoothing hand through his hair and wishing that Cruiser hadn’t taken his babysitting job quite so seriously and had left his post long enough to warn them ahead of time about visitors. He and Trinity might not have heard a car arrive, but a dog’s hypersensitive hearing must have.
“Trin must be changing her,” Zack told Ms. Cassidy. “She wakes up soaked.”
The woman’s lips tightened more. After another brittle minute, she shifted to force her way past. Thank God Trinity was on her way back out. She was dressed in the business clothes she’d worn the day they’d met, although the skirt was crooked and some of her blouse buttons weren’t fastened. The baby in her arms, however, looked happy and healthy and wide-awake.
“Have you found out anything?” Trinity asked their visitor as she stopped at Zack’s side.
“We’ve located the mother,” Ms. Cassidy said. “She’s outside in a police car now.”
Zack’s blood pressure dropped. Police? “So something is wrong?”
“I’m not at liberty to say.” Ms. Cassidy put out her arms. “I’ll take her now.”
Trinity turned a notch away; a natural enough reaction, Zack thought, feeling a twitch himself. If a person looked after a baby the way she had, of course they’d be shielding. Obviously they’d have grown attached.
“She’ll need a bottle,” Trinity said.
Ms. Cassidy replied, “The mother says she takes the breast as well as formula.”
While Trinity stood agape, clearly lost for words, Zack stepped up. They had a right to know…didn’t they?
“I think you can imagine how worried we’ve been for this little girl. How did she come to be in that cab all alone?”
“You’ll appreciate, Mr. Harrison, there are legal issues regarding privacy involved here.” Ms. Cassidy found an understanding smile. “But I assure you the mother is ecstatic to have her baby back. It was all an unfortunate mistake.”
“Mistake?” he said. “I’m sorry, but that’s hard to believe.”
“I’ll pass on your contact details,” Ms. Cassidy said firmly, “and she can get in touch with you, if that’s what she wants to do.”
Zack’s back teeth ground down. He burned to say more, for himself and Trinity, too, because as much as there was no way out, clearly she didn’t want to hand the baby over like this. He felt the same way. Sure, Bonnie wasn’t theirs. He supported privacy issues; he had people enough try to delve into his business and dig up the dirt. But didn’t he and Trinity deserve at least an explanation?
Was the mother negligent? Did she have support? What’s to say Bonnie wouldn’t end up in a worse situation and soon?
The woman’s arms were still out. Trinity took two deep breaths and then, her eyes glistening, carefully handed the baby over.
Cressida pulled back Bonnie’s wrap to inspect her rosy cheeks and for the first time released a genuine smile. She glanced up. “Thank you, Mr. Harrison, Ms. Matthews, for looking after her.”
Zack had fetched the car seat. With his other arm around Trinity’s waist, he said, “We’ll walk you out.”
Not an offer. Rather a statement.
Together he and Trinity followed Ms. Cassidy and the baby back out the opened glass door and all four—five including Cruiser—set off along the snow-covered path.
The sun was out, uncommonly bright and warm, Zack thought. All around, snow was turning to slush and the air had that freshly washed smell he usually liked. As they rounded the path, two cars came into view in the driveway. In the backseat of the police car, a young woman sat holding her brow. Through the window, she looked decidedly wan.
As Zack grudgingly handed the carrier to Ms. Cassidy, his stomach muscles gripped and every hair on the back of his neck lifted. Surely they wouldn’t hand Bonnie back if the mother was ill. Hell, maybe she was on drugs and didn’t even remember leaving her baby in that cab.
Ms. Cassidy crossed to the police vehicle and while the policeman fit the carrier on the far passenger side, the baby was handed to the woman—girl—in the backseat. He heard her gasp and saw her snuggle Bonnie close. He should have felt relief. He only felt chilled. What was her story? Was there any way of finding out where she lived? He wouldn’t sleep tonight. Maybe ever again.
Trinity was shivering beside him, more due to shock than the weather, he suspected.
“She looks sixteen,” she murmured, “seventeen, tops.”
Zack held her more firmly against him, her side to his. “Only a kid herself.”
“She must have parents who can help.”
“So where were they when the baby was left alone in that cab?”
Truth was they might never know.
Trinity curled into him more as they watched the young mother slide Bonnie into the car seat and buckled it up. When she sniffed, he almost felt her tears needing to break. Damn it, his throat was so clogged, he felt like crying himself.
Ms. Cassidy slid into her dark blue sedan and the policeman got into his vehicle while Zack stood there, feeling more helpless than he had in his life. He had this absurd urge to bolt over and snatch the baby back. He had to keep reminding himself…
She isn’t ours, she isn’t ours.
The police car was pulling out, Trinity’s fingers were wound up in his T-shirt’s front and Zack’s heart had fallen to his knees. But when the car reached the end of the driveway, the wheels stopped turning, the back door swung open and the girl—the mother—came striding out.
She wore fashionably distressed blue jeans and a pink sweater. As she neared, she pulled back the hood and a crown of blond waves tumbled out around her slim shoulders. She was a little taller than Trinity but twice as thin.
“You’re the couple who looked after Belinda,” she said.
“Belinda,” Trinity murmured. “That’s a pretty name.”
“We called her Bonnie,” Zack said. “It means ‘happy.’ ‘Pretty.’”
The girl’s blue eyes sparkled as she shoved her hands into her sweater’s pockets. “She smiled at me the first time at six weeks. She hasn’t stopped since.” Her expression firmed as she rolled back her shoulders. “I wanted you to know I never meant to lose her. I wanted to tell you it was an accident.”
Zack exhaled. “That’s some accident.”
“And I didn’t mean to get pregnant, if you want to know—” her chin and tone lowered “—but I never regretted for a moment bringing Bel into this world.”
Trinity asked, “What about the father?”
“That’s where I was headed that afternoon. Ryan never knew about my pregnancy until after Bel was born. He doesn’t have a mom and his dad…” The girl’s gaze dropped away. “Well, he’s away a lot.”
“And your own parents?”
“My dad left a long time ago. Mom’s not happy with me.” She shrugged. “What’s new? From the very first day she told me I should give Bel up. She said it’d be easier that way.”
Trinity made an anguished, barely audible noise and Zack held her firm.
“That day my mom had been at me again,” the girl went on. “She said I couldn’t stay there anymore. It was costing her too much. I wasn’t paying my keep. So I decided to pack some stuff and Bel and catch a bus into town. I was going to get a connecting ride to my boyfriend’s place. He’d moved to Wyoming. When we got to the bus stop, though, it started to snow. I had to get Bel out of the weather so I left my suitcase to walk over and ask that cabdriver how much it’d cost to get to the bus depot in town. But he was moving inside the store, getting something hot to drink or eat, I guess. It was really cold by then and the snow was falling harder. I put Bel inside the cab and hurried back to the stop to get my case. I was crossing back when the cab pulled away.” Her eyes glazed over and Zack knew she was reliving that moment. “I ran after them up the road, but he didn’t stop. I ran until I couldn’t run anymore.”
Trinity asked, “But you didn’t tell anyone?”
“I rang Bel’s father but he wasn’t home and wasn’t picking up his cell, either. I didn’t have a choice. I had to go back to Mom. I was crying and shaking. She put me to bed and promised she’d phone the police. When we hadn’t heard anything by the next day, she admitted she hadn’t made the call at all. So I did.”
A tear dropped down her cheek and the girl’s throat bobbed on a swallow at the same time Trinity bowed her head and groaned. Zack’s hold around Trinity’s waist tightened. A maternal grandmother as good as disowning her own granddaughter. The situation must have sounded alarmingly close to her own.
“I wanted you to know that I love Bel. I’ve only ever wanted what’s best for her.” The baby’s mother slipped the hood back over her head. “Sometimes it’s just hard to figure things out.”
Zack was moved. But feeling sorry for this girl didn’t help the baby.
“Where are you staying now?”
“Ms. Cassidy organized a place in a shelter. There’s heaps of support there.”
“If you need anything…” Zack proceeded to give out his full name, and where and how to find him. “Don’t forget, okay?”
More tears filled her eyes as the girl-mother looked at them both almost questioningly. “I’m glad you were the ones to find her. You seem like a really nice couple.”
Trinity stood, stunned, as the girl jogged back and the police car, with little Bonnie—Belinda—drove away. She didn’t take her eyes off the vehicle until it was a speck in the distant forest of trees. Zack didn’t move or talk, either. It was as if all the energy in their personal world was suddenly captured and taken away.
It was bad enough having to hand over that defenseless child to a person who didn’t look old enough to have graduated high school. In her more rational mind Trinity knew there must be wonderful, devoted and careful teen moms who didn’t lose their babies…who had support and didn’t need to act impulsively. But this young mother had less than no help.
The only word for little Bel’s grandmother was heartless. No, there were two more words. Selfish and negligent. How was it that Trinity had been more than willing to care for that baby when she’d never laid eyes on her before, when there was no previous attachment, and yet a woman who should have no hesitation in giving her own life to protect had failed so miserably in the “decent human being” department? Hell, even Zack, with his mercenary reputation, had stepped up to act honorably.
Trinity had never been able to get her head around her own grandparents’ dismissal of their own flesh and blood. It didn’t compute that basic instinct shouldn’t override other considerations like social shame or disappointment. Where were their compassion and love? As a baby, there’d been none for her from her maternal grandmother, none for this baby, either. And the pain was so great, squeezing and tearing at her heart that Trinity felt as if she was right there in the backseat of that police car, too, looking out over a span of uncertain years all over again.
What if something happened to Bel’s mother? That baby would have no one and Trinity would never know. She’d be in the dark about that baby’s future for the rest of her life.
And she didn’t know if she could bear it.
When another car came into sight, heading up the lonely road, Trinity didn’t pay it any mind. But the late model SUV turned into Zack’s driveway and a lady with neat silver-blond hair and a chic woolen pantsuit slipped out of the driver’s side door.
Zack’s arm slid away from around her waist; she’d only been half aware of it being there but now she missed the support…the warmth. The cool of the morning seeped in, sending shivers scuttling over her skin. As the visitor neared, she slapped her thighs at the same time Cruiser strolled over to join her, his tail wagging low between his legs.
“There you are, you bad boy.” The woman patted Cruiser’s head then addressed Zack. “Has he been much trouble?”
Although he felt like his gut was on the floor after watching that police car drive away, Zack did his best to welcome his neighbor. Last night before dinner, he’d thought to leave a message on the Dales’ phone, letting them know where to find their dog when they got back. Mrs. Dale was here now to collect Cruiser. Take him home.
And then there were two.
He thought he’d be relieved when the “lost baby” situation was settled…when this monster of a dog was out of his house. But he didn’t feel relieved. Zack felt more hollow than he ever had in his life.
“Mrs. Dale,” he said, “this is Trinity Matthews.”
Mrs. Dale’s smile broadened. “Lovely to meet you.”
Zack explained, “He showed up here yesterday morning.”
“When Jim and I went out the other afternoon, we left him on a long lead outside. We expected to be back by early evening but that storm held us up. When we got back, we found the lead chewed through and no Cruiser anywhere to be seen. Since the weather’s eased up, we’ve searched around. We called all the folks around with kids. I told you how much he’s drawn to children. I never thought to call here.”
Trinity glanced over at Zack but he didn’t bother to explain to Mrs. Dale about the baby. He merely hunkered down and when Cruiser waddled over, he caught his big hairy face, smiled and said, “Guess this is your lift.”
Cruiser whined out a growl, his backside wobbling as his tail wagged harder.
Crossing her arms, Mrs. Dale pegged out a leg. “Zack, dear, I think you’ve made a friend.”
“He’s made one, too.” Zack pushed to his feet.
Mrs. D’s head slanted as she spoke to Trinity. “Are you staying for a few days?” She examined the sky. “The weather’s cleared up beautifully.”
“Actually I’m on my way back East.”
“Don’t tell me. New York? Too busy for my liking, but home is home.”
Mrs. Dale thanked Zack again and after Trinity gave his neck a big hug, obedient as always, Cruiser followed Mrs. Dale back to her car. She opened the tailgate and a moment later, another member of their quartet was whisked away.
Trinity began to shiver again and this time she couldn’t seem to stop. Zack brought his arm around her shoulder. “Come in out of the cold.”
“I’m not cold.”
“Come in for coffee then. I sure need one.”
Noting the fallen tree trunk blocking the front entrance as they passed, Trinity followed as he headed toward the back of the cabin. Even with the shivering, she would rather have stood out here awhile longer although, of course, there was no chance the baby was ever coming back. She knew Bonnie—Belinda—wasn’t hers. Wasn’t theirs. Still, she felt as if a slice had been taken out of her heart.
Inside, Zack put on the pot while, feeling numb, she took a seat on a stool at the counter.
As he fished the milk out of the fridge, Zack commented, “She seems like a nice girl.”
“Girl being the operative word.” A withering feeling coursed through her and Trinity had to close her eyes to, in some way, try to contain it. “With a mother like that, how’s she ever supposed to get ahead?”
“I’m sure she’ll manage.”
Trinity supposed she had. But she also knew how tough and long that road was. Someone of Zack’s background would have no idea what a hard slog “going it alone” could be. So…
“What if she doesn’t manage?”
He set down the milk and cast her a comforting look. “I gave her my contact details. We can’t do anything more than that.”
“Can’t we?” Surely there must be something.
His brow furrowing, he crossed over. “What are you saying?”
“It shouldn’t be too difficult to find out her name and address.”
“That’s not the way this is supposed to work. Mother and child are reunited. I know it doesn’t look ideal, but I thought you’d be pleased.”
“I am.” Her heart sank more, her shoulders slumped and Trinity lowered her voice. “I just want to keep an eye out. Maybe babysit sometime.”
“From New York?”
She grunted and swung away. She didn’t want to hear rational arguments. She wanted to be there. To help.
When he went back to making coffee, she moved to the windows and the view that had once seemed so private but now only looked…lonely. She hugged herself but her body seemed to have lost all its heat. She couldn’t imagine ever feeling truly warm again.
She muttered more to herself than to Zack, “You could never understand.”
She heard a cup hit the counter, his footsteps falling on the timber, coming closer. Then he was behind her and, hands on her shoulders, he spun her around. His jaw was tight and nostrils were flared the barest amount as if that might help curb the emotion she saw flashing in his eyes.
“You’re upset now,” he said calmly enough. “We need to sit down and let this all settle in. This ended the way it was always supposed to—baby and mother reunited.”
Stinging emotion crept up the back of Trinity’s throat. “I can’t help thinking we should do more.”
“Trinity, it’s not our place.” While she recoiled, he scrubbed a hand down his face and sucked in a breath. “In a couple of days, you’ll begin to see. You need to let her go.”
One part of her knew he was right. They’d played out whatever part fate had laid in their path. Now they had to move on. But how did a person move on when they felt stuck? All she could see was Bonnie’s smiling face. All she could hear was that little girl’s laughter. Then she thought of that young mother’s mountain of problems. It made her feel physically ill.
But as Zack brought her near and rubbed her back as he leaned his cheek lightly on her head, she told herself: he’s right. Of course, he’s right.
That baby—their baby—had always belonged to someone else.
