Copyright
HarperCollins Publishers Ltd.
1 London Bridge Street
London SE1 9GF
Published in 2010 by Collins
First published in the USA by HarperCollins,
195 Broadway, New York in 2009
Text © Pamela Redmond Satran 2009
A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library
Pamela Redmond Satran asserts her moral right to be identified as the author of this work
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Source ISBN: 9780007306138
Ebook Edition © APRIL 2017 ISBN: 9780007438204
Version: 2017-04-27
Dedication
For my father
Joe Redmond
for ever ageless
Contents
Cover | |
Title Page | |
Copyright | |
Dedication | |
Introduction | |
#1 | Stop Using E-mail |
How Not to E-mail Old: 10 Musts to Avoid | |
#2 | Don’t Say ‘Awesome’, ‘Dude’, or ‘Phat’ |
Guide to 11 Young–Old Slang Expressions | |
#3 | Unstrap that Rolex |
#4 | Don’t Fear the Waxer |
40-year-old Bikini-Waxing Virgin? 9 Things to Expect | |
#5 | Avoid Direct Confrontation |
#6 | Don’t Leave a Message |
#7 | Don’t Dance to ‘Sexual Healing’ |
How to Grind, in 6 Easy Steps | |
8 Best Old-people Songs to Dance to … and 7 Young Ones that May Actually Get You Going | |
#8–19 | How Not to Work Old |
#20 | Beware the Accidental Hook-up |
What Exactly Is a Hook-up? A Teenager Tells All … Well, Some | |
#21 | Don’t Smoke Pot |
#22 | Don’t Fear the F-word |
#23–29 | How Not to Weekend Old |
#30 | Don’t Get Too Excited about Mondays |
#31 | Avoid Avoiding Babies |
I Would Love to Hold the Baby, but … | |
#32 | Don’t Be Proud of Being Befuddled by Technology |
Web Directory 102: Sites You Should Know | |
#33 | Don’t Advise People to Carry an Umbrella |
16 Things You Never Need to Say to Another Adult | |
#34 | Don’t Admit You’re Crazy about Springsteen |
#35 | Don’t Be the Monica |
#36–44 | How Not to Be a Cougar |
#45 | Stop Talking about Menopause |
#46 | No Lame Parenting Advice |
19 Things Never to Say to a Young Parent | |
#47 | Don’t Fear the Tat |
8 Tattoos for Old People | |
#48 | Don’t Make Love |
#49 | Do Not Block the Aisle |
#50 | Throw off the Middle-aged Burka |
12 Things You Can’t Even Think about Wearing (for Women) | |
#51 | No Poodles |
Pet Making You Look Old? 5 Swaps to Consider Now | |
#52 | Don’t Yell into Your Mobile Phone |
8 Ways Not to Phone Old | |
#53 | Don’t Talk about Your (Grown-up) Children |
5 Things to Talk about Instead of Your Kids | |
#54 | Don’t Fear Rap |
Easy Listenin’ Rap: 9 Songs Even You Might Like | |
#55 | Don’t Drink Cosmopolitans |
3 Young Cocktail Recipes | |
#56 | Learn to Type with Your Thumbs |
#57 | Cancel the Trip to Provence |
#58 | Edit the Anecdotes |
#59 | Don’t Fear the Thong |
#60 | Don’t Lust after Paul McCartney |
8 Hot vs. Crusty Comparisons | |
#61 | No Chronic Health Discussions |
#62 | Screw the Housework |
MadLibs: A Young Person’s Guide to Housekeeping | |
#63 | Break that Saturday Night Sex Routine |
#64 | Stop Surfing the Net |
25 Web Expressions You Should Know Now | |
#65 | Have No Problem |
#66 | Sponge off Your Parents |
#67–73 | How Not to Party Old |
#74 | Don’t Be Shocked by a Touch of Girl-on-girl |
10 Other Things Not to Be Shocked By | |
#75 | No to the Negativity |
Anti-negativity Spin Chart: 6 Upbeat Substitutes | |
#76 | Enough with the Man-bashing |
5 Deathless Man-bashing Jokes | |
#77 | Don’t Fear the Silence |
#78 | Don’t Live Somewhere Old |
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