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“I’ll have to wait to see what the money situation is. Maybe I’ll need to get a job.”

Confusion and ambivalence were not uncommon after losing someone close, Anna knew. “It’s not too late to do either. Or both. Eber Insurance is a going concern. You could learn that business, if you feel so inclined. You know, there’s nothing quite like earning your own money to give you a sense of accomplishment, a feeling of independence.”

Janice ran a hand through her hair. “I’ve got to get a haircut, too,” she commented absently. “I know you’re right. I’ve been too dependent on Kurt, but he wanted it that way and I...well, I just drifted with it. It was easier. Now I regret not taking more of an interest.”

Anna rose. “As I said, it isn’t too late. Perhaps Kurt’s manager can help you. Or David Markus.”

There was that name again. Janice scooted out of the booth and went to the counter to pay Marge. Outside again in the chilly night air, she turned to Anna. “Thanks so much for coming with me and letting me bend your ear. You’re a good friend, Anna.”

Anna gave her a quick hug. “Anytime. Talking things out helps.”

About to start walking home, Janice paused. “Anna, why did you go to work for Dr. Phelps? Did you get tired of always being in the house or was it financial? I don’t mean to pry.”

“I wanted to. I wanted to do something that was mine alone. Johnny had his work at the plant and we shared the boardinghouse and the children. But I needed something of my own, and that independence I mentioned earlier. I think he began to respect me more, and my self-respect increased as well when I proved I could make my own way if I had to.”

“I would have thought Johnny would object to his wife working.”

“He didn’t and still doesn’t, because he knows that my working fulfills a need in me. Johnny doesn’t have this thing about needing to be in charge and in control the way Kurt did.”

She’d said it kindly, and with the best of intentions, yet it bothered Janice to hear the words. Probably because she knew Anna was right. “Kurt was a good man, Anna,” she said softly. It seemed important to remind her. And perhaps herself.

“Of course he was.”

Janice nodded. “Good night.” She set out at a brisk pace.

Anna stood watching Janice for a minute, then turned toward her own street. It would seem that Janice Eber had a long way to go before she accepted Kurt’s death. And, Anna thought with a sad shake of her head, it likely would be a painful journey.

* * *

SQUINTING, Janice leaned closer to the ledger spread out on Kurt’s desk. The numbers blurred. She pulled back and they came into focus. Brushing back her hair, she acknowledged that she’d have to make an appointment for that eye exam she’d been putting off for too long.

But even glasses wouldn’t clarify the columns of figures she’d been trying to make sense of since arriving at Eber Insurance several hours ago. Kurt’s secretary, the bookkeeper, Tom Sikes and the sales staff who’d come in and out had all treated her kindly. They’d gone to great pains to explain the operation to her. She envied them their acquired knowledge and despaired of ever catching up.

Finally, she’d shut herself in Kurt’s private office so no one would witness her private humiliation as she tried to make sense of the papers she’d been given. It would seem that the firm wrote insurance for commercial properties, plus auto, homeowners, and some life and health. A broad base. According to Tom, they were decidedly in the black. Janice would have to take his word for that, since the ledgers were beyond her understanding.

Tom had also pointed out several large policies coming up for renewal soon that she’d have to pay special attention to. Their representatives wanted to meet the person who’d be in charge, to be assured that the main thrust of Eber Insurance would be as before. Janice sensed that Tom thought himself the likely candidate to take over. He’d stopped short of offering to buy in or buy her out, yet she felt he was considering doing so.

She hadn’t the foggiest notion which way to go on that.

Janice rubbed her forehead. She’d never suffered from headaches much until recently. Now they seemed to be her daily companions. Maybe what she should do was handle the immediate problems and take the rest of these papers home to read over at her leisure. Finding a large manila envelope, she shoved the stacks of papers into it. She filled two, then sat back with a worried frown.

Whom was she kidding? She could read all of this, study it till the cows came home, and be no further ahead than she was right this minute. She simply had too little understanding of the business world to be able to make intelligent decisions. She needed help, but whom could she trust?

Her father was out of the question. He was too far away and too opinionated. She ruled out her Uncle Judson as well, for though she liked him, he had a tendency to make decisions for people and then expect them to follow without question. Kurt had been a little like that and she wasn’t certain she wanted to start up with another man who’d overpower her. Perhaps it would be best if she went outside the family for assistance.

Janice didn’t know the men who’d advised Kurt—his attorney and his accountant. They’d both been at the funeral, offering to help in any way they could. But she hadn’t particularly liked their somewhat condescending attitude toward her. Maybe she was being overly sensitive, but she’d rather have someone fresh on the scene.

Finally she zeroed in on the name that had been hovering in the back of her mind since her walk with Anna. Grabbing her leather bag, she rummaged around inside until she found what she was searching for. Leaning back in Kurt’s chair, she studied the card David Markus had given her.

Had he meant it when he’d said to call him if she needed anything, or had he just been trying to be polite? A financial adviser with years of business experience seemed the right person to ask. Still, she hesitated.

She’d never called on a man other than Kurt for help. Never. Of course, she shouldn’t think of David as a man, but rather as a business consultant. Janice smiled at her own silliness. Definitely difficult not to think of David Markus as a man first and foremost. However, she was certain he looked upon her as a friend’s wife and nothing more.

Although he had once, for a short time. One long-ago autumn when they’d dated. But that had been when they were both young and carefree. Now, Janice thought of David more as a trusted ally.

With that thought in mind, she dialed his office number. In moments, his secretary came on and told her that David wasn’t in, that he was working from home this afternoon. Before she lost her courage, Janice dialed his home number.

He answered on the third ring.

“David, this is Janice Eber,” she said, hoping she didn’t sound as nervous as she felt. “I hope I’m not interrupting anything important.”

Spooky, David thought. Downright spooky to have the woman he’d been thinking about call just then. “Janice, good to hear from you. How are you holding up?”

“I’m doing fine. Personally, that is. But with the business end of things, not so well.”

“How can I help?”

“I’m not sure. I’m sitting at Kurt’s desk in his office, and I have to admit I’m overwhelmed. I don’t understand the books, a second mortgage on our home, some investments. Kurt’s office manager, Tom Sikes, is more than willing to explain everything, but...”

He caught the pause, the hesitancy, and understood. “But you don’t know him and you’re not sure you can trust him.”

He’d about summed it up, though she hadn’t spoken those exact words aloud. “More or less.”

“Would you like me to meet with Tom Sikes, go over the papers and then explain everything to you?”

She felt relief flood her. That was exactly what she wanted. “If you’re sure you have the time. I know you’re some distance from here and I hate to ask. You must be busy.”

“It just so happens I’m visiting a client in Whitewater tomorrow morning. I could be in Tyler about one. Could you ask Tom to prepare for my visit, to have the latest audited reports and tax returns available, and give him permission to show me all the books?”

“Yes, certainly.”

“Leave the mortgage information and Kurt’s insurance policies on the desk also and I’ll check into those.”

She was feeling better by the minute. “Fine. Feel free to look through the entire desk and files. Anything else?”

Leaning back, David smiled. “Yes. Invite me to dinner tomorrow evening. I should have a pretty good idea of how you stand by then, unless I run into something out of the ordinary.”

Dinner. Janice hadn’t thought that far ahead. But it was the least she could do. “Consider yourself invited. But understand that I mean to pay you as would any other client.”

“We can discuss that over a glass of wine.”

Now they were drinking together. Janice felt her pulse quicken, something that hadn’t happened in a very long time. As the thought held, she felt herself flush with guilt. She was a widow, a woman newly widowed. She would do well to keep that in mind and keep this meeting businesslike. With no small effort, she put a touch of formality into her voice. “Then I’ll see you tomorrow evening.”

“I’m looking forward to it.”

Something had been bothering her since he’d answered. “David, what’s that noise I hear in the background?”

“Oh, that.” He laughed. “That’s water gurgling. I’m sitting in my hot tub. It’s a great way to unwind after a long day at a desk.”

She was caught off guard. “A hot tub,” she repeated.

“I’ll have to show it to you sometime.”

Her errant mind went wild. She pictured him sitting in the sunken tub, hot bubbling water swirling around his muscular chest. They’d gone sailing together one balmy afternoon, and Janice remembered that David’s chest was generously sprinkled with dark, curly hair. Was it still like that? she wondered.

Flushing, Janice stood up so quickly she nearly toppled Kurt’s chair. Whatever was the matter with her? Grateful that David couldn’t see her red face, she struggled for a nonchalant tone. “Tomorrow then, David. I appreciate your help.”

“It’s my pleasure. See you then, Sunshine.”

Sunshine. Talking with him had warmed her like a ray of sunshine. Hanging up, Janice shook her head to clear it. She would definitely need to get a grip on herself by tomorrow. Her emotions had been unstable since that fateful phone call about Kurt. That would explain why she was acting so peculiarly, thinking thoughts she’d long ago discarded.

Quickly, she put the things David had requested on top of Kurt’s desk. Fumbling through several drawers, she scooped up a couple of folders, notes and address books she thought she might look through at home later. She grabbed her coat, purse and manila envelopes and went to find Tom Sikes to set up David’s visit.

CHAPTER THREE

STANDING IN FRONT of her closet, Janice frowned as she stared at the clothes hanging there. Odd how it hadn’t occurred to her until recently that her wardrobe badly needed updating. Probably she hadn’t thought much about what she wore because she spent most of her time at home and she had plenty of around-the-house things. The past couple of weeks she’d been out and about more than in the previous six months. She’d lost weight since Kurt’s death, having no appetite and very little interest in cooking for only one. Next week, she’d definitely make it a point to get to Gates Department Store and look for a few good items of apparel.

Ordinarily, she just grabbed something comfortable and put it on. But this wasn’t exactly an ordinary day. Tonight, David Markus was coming for dinner.

Not that this was a date. It was a business meeting. But it was taking place in her home and she hadn’t spent an evening alone with a man other than Kurt in...well, not since her college days. She felt strange entertaining someone, even for a business meeting, without Kurt.

Her meals lately had consisted of a quick salad or bowl of soup eaten at the kitchen sink or while reading a book. But not tonight. She’d planned a complete dinner and even set the dining room table with china and stemware, using a pale green Irish linen tablecloth her mother had left her. Not because she wanted to impress David, but rather because she wanted him to know she wasn’t just some backward hausfrau. She did know how to cook elegantly and serve beautifully, even if she didn’t understand the paperwork Kurt had left behind.

Janice wasn’t sure why it was important to her that David not think her lacking talent and imagination, but it was.

She’d also gone in to the Hair Affair this morning for that long overdue haircut. Glancing into the mirror of her dressing table, Janice had to admit that Tisha had done a good job. She’d opted for a shorter look and found that, with her hair’s natural tendency to curl, the feather cut flattered her.

After that, she’d driven to nearby Belton, where she’d seen an ad for a place that made glasses in an hour. She’d had her eyes examined, then she’d tried on frames. The oversize frames she’d chosen made her oval face seem smaller, but at least she could read more easily now. That would be important tonight when David explained the company books and papers.

But back to her skimpy wardrobe. After much deliberation, she decided on a soft yellow sweater and her brown wool skirt. Not exactly a knock-’em-dead outfit, but then this was her home, not some chic restaurant. Chic had never been her style anyway, Janice thought as she zipped up the skirt and slipped her feet into low-heeled, tan pumps. Chic was for young women on the make.

Sitting down at her dressing table, she watched her face grow pink. Where had that thought come from? It wasn’t even an expression she used. Janice was widely read enough to realize that she was somewhat old-fashioned in her thoughts about sex. Hard not to be, having been raised by as strict a father as she and Irene had been. Janice knew that Stefanie, already sharing an apartment with her fiancé, probably had experimented far more than she ever had.

Still, she missed the sexual side of loving and living with a man, Janice admitted to herself as she removed her glasses and leaned forward to apply a bit of eyeliner the way her daughter had taught her. Married love was comfortable if not wildly exciting. Exciting was for the young. She’d enjoyed sex with Kurt, but it hadn’t been the be-all and end-all of their relationship. They’d mellowed and taken a mature approach to lovemaking that had put it in proper perspective.

Janice threw down the makeup pencil and closed her eyes with a sigh. Why was she thinking along these lines tonight? She had never been one to dwell on the physical aspects of her marriage.

It was the prospect of seeing David Markus in a very short time.

Gripping the edge of the dressing table, Janice stared at her reflection. She saw a middle-aged woman, a shade too slender, with nice hair and large gray eyes that looked haunted and hesitant. That about summed it up. A woman who’d recently buried a husband she’d loved very much. Still loved very much.

Be that as it may, David was a very attractive man. A man who set a woman to thinking, even if she didn’t want to think along those lines. He wasn’t forward or bold or flirtatious. But he was enormously appealing and unconsciously sensual.

He’d been alone for years and probably had scads of women after him—glamorous, cosmopolitan women. Fortunately, she wasn’t in the market for a man and therefore needn’t concern herself with the man-woman thing.

Picking up her favorite cologne, she lightly sprayed her neck and arms and behind her ears, then applied a little lipstick. Stefanie was always telling her she ought to wear more makeup, but Janice didn’t feel comfortable with more.

Standing, she examined herself one last time. Not gorgeous, but it was the best she could do for now. Who expected gorgeous at a business meeting anyhow? Grabbing her glasses, she went to check on dinner.

* * *

DAVID TURNED into the Eber driveway at five to seven and switched off his Lincoln’s engine. He sat for a moment looking at the large Victorian house painted a pale gray. The streetlights illuminated the patches of snow clinging to the front lawn. The dining room bay window with the wide seat faced the street on the drive side, and he caught a glimpse of the table through the sheer curtains.

The house was beautifully decorated with expensive things, obviously done with a loving hand and a generous bank account. Kurt had often bragged to David about his home, his chest puffing with pride. David had wondered how his friend had managed to parlay a modest inheritance into a profitable business complete with an elegant home and expensive life-style. After having spent hours poring over Kurt’s books, he had a pretty good idea.

Kurt had worked like a man driven, and David thought he had been. Driven to succeed, to impress his wife’s family, to prove he was worthy of the Ingallses’ approval. The signs were all there. Kurt also had had something to prove—that he was as good as an Ingalls. And he’d enjoyed the trappings of the good life—the big house, the snazzy car, membership in the right clubs.

But success had come with a big price tag. He had spent years robbing Peter to pay Paul, mortgaging everything to the hilt, no sooner paying off one loan than getting in deeper with another. Apparently he’d kept most of the details from his wife, probably because to tell her would have made their future solvency look iffy, causing Janice to question him. However, the strain had undoubtedly added to the deterioration of his health, which he’d obviously been unaware of.

Fortunately, Kurt hadn’t left Janice and his family in ruin, though he’d been headed in that direction. David knew Kurt had had plans—big plans—for one day being very wealthy. But he’d died too soon. And now, as David climbed out of his car, he wondered how much he should tell his widow without tarnishing the man’s memory.

Taking an uneasy breath, he left his car, stepped onto the porch and rang the bell.

Janice opened the door and smiled at his look of surprise. Self-consciously—for he was staring—she brushed her fingers through her hair. “I had it cut.”

David moved inside and closed the door, setting his leather briefcase down on the floor. “I like it. Brings out the red.” From behind his back, he brought forth a single yellow rose wrapped in cellophane.

Her eyes softened as she took the flower and held it to her nose. The first time they’d gone out, he’d brought her one yellow rose, telling her he wished he could give her the entire dozen he couldn’t afford at the time. He could now, she was certain, yet the gift of one stirred shared memories. “Thank you,” she whispered.

“I didn’t know you wore glasses.”

She whipped them from her face. “I just got those, too. My arms weren’t long enough, so I decided it was time to admit that the years had caught up with me.” She took his topcoat and hung it in the hall closet.

Standing close, he inhaled her scent. Something lightly floral and expensive. “Personally, I think the years have been more than kind to you.”

She turned, leaning against the closet door. He wore a gray suit with a vest, a pale blue shirt and striped tie. His face was ruddy from the cold and his eyes even bluer than she remembered. “And to you,” she heard herself say, then flushed. To cover the moment, she turned toward the kitchen. “Make yourself comfortable. Would you like a glass of wine?”

“Sure.”

But in the kitchen, her fingers fumbled and she couldn’t get the cork out of the wine bottle. Nerves, she thought, and took a deep breath.

“May I help you with that?” David asked from the doorway.

She stepped aside as he took over. “If you like. I seem to be all thumbs tonight.”

As he inched the cork free, he looked at her over his shoulder. “You look very in control to me.”

Unused to flattery, especially on such a consistent basis, she turned aside before he could see her cheeks heating again. She wished he’d stop, or her face would be flaming all evening. Getting down the glasses, she set them in front of him and watched him pour.

Handing her one, he raised his own. “What shall we drink to?”

“I don’t know.”

He screwed up his face thoughtfully. “How about a quick end to winter and a happy springtime?”

Janice found a nervous smile. “Sounds good.” They sipped.

“That wouldn’t be coq au vin I smell, would it?” he asked.

“It is.” She smiled more naturally now, pleased that he approved of her menu choice. “Why don’t we go sit down while it finishes cooking?”

David let her lead the way into the spacious living room and stood until she seated herself in a corner of the couch facing the fireplace. Noticing that a fire had been laid, he raised a questioning eyebrow. “Shall I? It’s a good night for a fire.”

“Please do.” She watched as he removed his jacket and bent to light the fire. She’d gone through Kurt’s address book yesterday and found the name of the man who furnished their wood. A quick call and he’d brought in a fresh supply this morning. “Does your home have a fireplace?”

“Yes. I love to sit and stare into the flames.”

She did, too. But Kurt had always been too restless to be idle for long, preferring more active pastimes. Janice watched as David leaned forward to distribute the flame along the crumpled newspaper and kindling. He was a big man, yet he moved effortlessly, almost gracefully. His build reminded her of her father’s in his younger days, and of K.J., whose physique resembled his grandfather’s. She sipped her wine.

David dusted off his hands and sat down at the opposite end of the couch. He picked up his glass before turning to her. Yellow was definitely her color, he thought as he let the tart wine roll over his tongue. Her eyes were avoiding his, and he wondered if she was nervous over what he might have found at Kurt’s office or because they were alone together in the cozy intimacy of her living room.

His gaze took in the decor. “Did you do this? It looks great.”

She warmed under his praise. “Thank you. I studied design for a while.”

“Ah, yes, I remember.” She’d once confided her dreams of decorating palatial mansions. Apparently she’d put her dreams aside so Kurt could pursue his.

Uncomfortable under his scrutiny, Janice switched subjects. “Did you have any trouble finding Kurt’s office?”

“No, none at all. Tom Sikes is very knowledgeable about the company.”

“He’s been very helpful. Kurt often said that Tom wasn’t much of a salesman, but he made a very good manager.”

David nodded. “Usually the best salesmen don’t do well in management. Too much ego. Kurt, on the other hand, was a hell of a salesman. Usually the owner doesn’t keep on hustling the way Kurt did, but he was getting new accounts regularly. The agency has an impressive book of business, and most of it’s due to Kurt’s hard work.”

“My father often said that Kurt could sell ice cubes to the Eskimos.” Janice relaxed fractionally, whether from the pleasure his reassuring words gave her or from the wine, she wasn’t certain. “So then you found the company to be solvent and problem free?”

David crossed his legs, searching for the right words. “No company is totally problem free, but Eber Insurance is decidedly solvent. I was pleased to see that your name is on the incorporation papers, so business can continue as usual without too many forms needing to be filed.”

“That’s a relief. Kurt used to remark that insurance regulations are very strict.”

“They are. Have you any idea what you want to do with the business?”

Janice set her glass on the small table between their chairs. “I’ve been thinking about it, but I just don’t know.”

“I’ll go over the books with you later, but for now, let me spell out your options. First off, I get the feeling Tom would like to take over.”

“I got that impression, too.”

“Whether he has the money to buy you out, I’m not sure. Or perhaps he’s considering a partnership, with you the silent member. Those are two options. Or you could sell to an outsider. Finally, you could run it yourself.”

“I know very little about the insurance field and business in general.” But as she shifted her gaze to stare into the crackling flames, Janice thought of Anna’s words. There’s nothing like earning your own money to give you a sense of accomplishment, a feeling of independence. Could that be what was missing from her life?

“You don’t have to decide right now,” David went on.

“I suppose I could learn,” Janice said softly, almost to herself. Her mind racing, she looked over at David. “What would I have to do to run it myself?”

She surprised him. He’d guessed she’d back away from even considering that. Perhaps she would still when she realized what she’d be taking on. “You’d have to take the required insurance courses. I believe that the University of Wisconsin has an extension program at Whitewater, and the campus is only an hour’s drive away. Eber Insurance handles a variety of commercial and individual policies.”

“Are separate courses required for each?”

“Pretty much. Then you have to pass a state exam in each category in order to be licensed.”

Janice leaned her head back, fighting the feeling of being engulfed that came over her so often lately. “I should have known it wouldn’t be simple.”

David leaned forward, wanting to ease her mind. “You don’t have to keep the business, Janice. You can offer the company for sale, take the money and invest it. I can steer things along with Tom until the transfer, if you like. That would be a lot easier on you.”

She knew he was trying to be helpful, to walk her through this as painlessly as possible. But a nagging little voice at the back of her mind kept whispering in her ear. “Easier,” she said aloud. “All my life, David, I’ve taken the easy way. It was easier to elope with Kurt than buck my family’s objections and push for them to accept him and our marriage. It was easier to quit college as Kurt wanted me to rather than carry on a long-distance romance for two more years until I graduated. It was easier to let him run the business, the household, practically my whole life, than to fight against his need to be in charge. I’m finding out that the easy route isn’t necessarily the best path to follow.”

“Have you been unhappy?”

“Unhappy?” Janice considered that a long moment. “Not unhappy, no. But occasionally unfulfilled, I think, or is that too dramatic a statement?”

He shrugged, toying with his wineglass, swirling the contents thoughtfully. “For some women, marriage is enough. For others, it isn’t. It’s an individual choice.”

“Would simply being married be enough to keep you happy? Wouldn’t you feel unfulfilled without your work, the sense of accomplishment?”

“No to the first question and yes to the second. And besides, someone has to earn the money, to make a living.”

“Exactly. And I no longer have someone to rely on to do that for me. Maybe I shouldn’t have relied so heavily on Kurt during our years together. Maybe then he wouldn’t have pushed so hard. Maybe he’d still be with us.”

David shook his head. “That’s the guilt of the survivor talking. I’ve been through that and I know. You can drive yourself crazy with the what-ifs and the maybes. You didn’t push Kurt, demand more and more so he had to work harder. That need was in his personality and you didn’t put it there. Believe me, because I knew him fairly well.”

She’d been curious about something and wondered if he’d give her a straight answer. “All those times the two of you met in Chicago, did Kurt talk about me?”

David picked up his wine for a long swallow, allowing himself an extra moment to answer. “We talked mostly about business. When he did mention you, it was always to say how much he cared for you.”

His face looked sincere enough, yet she sensed an uneasiness behind his words. “I was just wondering.” Picking up her glass, she rose. “I think dinner should be ready.”

He, too, was ready for a change of subject. “Can I help?”

Walking to the kitchen, she spoke over her shoulder. “You can pour more wine.”

David removed his tie, placed it alongside his jacket and unbuttoned the top button of his shirt. He wanted to strip away the formality that was between them. Perhaps if he looked more casual, Janice would relax a little.

* * *

JANICE HAD PLACED the yellow rose in a crystal bud vase in the center of the table. David waited until she set out the serving dishes. Then, because it was his habit, he held the chair for her as she sat down. Taking his own seat, he saw that the small gesture had both surprised and flustered her.

The chicken was wonderfully tender, the rich wine sauce complementing it perfectly, while the salad was crisp and the rolls warm and fragrant. He told her so and watched the pleasure shine from her eyes. As he buttered a roll, it occurred to David that Janice likely hadn’t had many compliments in her life, since each one seemed to delight yet embarrass her. Perhaps Kurt’s other interests had overshadowed the attention he might have lavished on his wife. For that reason alone, David meant to let Janice know that he still thought of her as special.

“Tyler’s a pleasant little town,” he said, thinking they’d had enough business conversation for a while. “I haven’t spent much time here, but I like it.”

“Mmm, I like it, too. When we first moved here, though it was my idea after living in Milwaukee and then Madison, I was a little frustrated at not having more stores available, more activities. But I’ve gotten used to the peace and quiet, a worthwhile trade-off.”

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