Long Cold Winter

Long Cold Winter
Penny Jordan

www.millsandboon.co.uk

MILLS & BOON

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Table of Contents

Cover

Title Page

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER SIX

CHAPTER SEVEN

CHAPTER EIGHT

CHAPTER NINE

Copyright

CHAPTER ONE

AS the light sea-plane circled the small Caribbean island of St John’s, Autumn stared up at it, shielding her eyes from the brilliance of the sun.

‘Here comes our big fish,’ Alan said humorously, sliding an arm round her shoulders and pulling her against him. ‘I hope you’re going to do your courier bit well and help me hook him.’

They were standing on the smooth pale sand in front of the hotel, a tall, almost too finely drawn girl with a cloud of sunbleached honey blonde hair and eyes the misty violet colour of the bougainvillea that smothered the walls of the double-storey blocks of bedrooms scattered discreetly in the hotel grounds, and a slightly shorter, thickset man in his early thirties, his lightweight tropical suit over-formal next to the golden-toasted, bikini-clad body of his companion.

Autumn moved away automatically, a reflex action where men were concerned and one she barely noticed any more, but Alan Shields saw it, and his mouth compressed slightly. He had taken Autumn on to the staff of his package holiday business, Travel Mates, on the recommendation of his secretary, Sally Ferrars. As far as doing her job went, he had no complaints, but Autumn had displayed a steadfast refusal to respond to his advances which had aroused at first disbelief and then, when he realised that she meant it, curiosity.

Autumn was twenty-two and must surely have had relationships with other men; she was too attractive sexually not to have done, so why the cold shoulder for him? He was not bad looking; comparatively wealthy, free, white and over twenty-one.

He had tried to pump Sally, but she had refused to be badgered. ‘Leave Autumn alone,’ was all she would tell him. Sally was engaged to a British Airways pilot and she treated him with a sisterly forbearance. He glanced thoughtfully at Autumn.

‘We’ve really got to pull out all the stops on this one,’ he warned her. ‘If this guy doesn’t come up with the goods, we’re well and truly sunk, and Tropicana will take us over. If that happens we’ll all be out of a job.’

Autumn knew that Alan wasn’t exaggerating and sympathised. The success of St John’s as the ultimate Caribbean holiday retreat was very close to his heart, and he had invested heavily in the small island and the hotel complex he was having built there. His business, Travel Mates, had been doing very well and there had been no reason to suppose that St John’s wouldn’t be hugely successful. The hotel’s first season had been booked up well in advance and building was on schedule. But then a freak hurricane had virtually destroyed the main hotel building; holidays already booked had had to be cancelled and money refunded, and as a result Alan was facing ruin unless he could find someone willing to invest in the venture.

The larger holiday operators were hovering like vultures, waiting to see what pickings they could get if he failed, and Autumn didn’t need to be reminded how important it was that this possible backer Alan’s merchant bankers had found them invested in the island of St John’s.

Even so, she disliked Alan’s suggestion that she could make some effort to ‘charm’ the man, and she frowned slightly. She liked Alan, and owed him a great deal. Without the job he had given her… She sighed and glanced at her watch. Nearly four o’clock. Every afternoon she spent a couple of hours in the hotel foyer, answering the questions of the holidaymakers who needed advice or help.

‘We’re having dinner alone tonight, just the three of us in my bungalow,’ Alan told her, ‘so wear something pretty.’

‘Pretty? Don’t you mean sexy?’ Autumn queried, giving him a sharp look. ‘I won’t be used as bait, Alan. I’m not making myself available to your backer. Let’s get that understood right from the start.’

Alan assumed a hurt expression.

‘You’ve got it all wrong. All I want you to do is smile nicely and make him feel welcome. Nothing wrong in that, is there?’

‘I think I’ll reserve judgment,’ Autumn said dryly.

She was well aware that Alan thought her something of an enigma, but his earlier determination to break through her defences had waned when he realised that she was not going to give way, and now he tended to treat her more as an efficient member of his staff and less of a challenge to his masculinity. There were still times, though, when his conversation held distinctly sexual overtones, but Autumn had grown adept at keeping him at arm’s length.

‘Want to come with me to welcome our visitor?’ Alan asked lazily, seeing that she wasn’t going to be drawn.

Beyond the reef the small bi-plane had landed safely and was bobbing gently on the smooth water.

Autumn shook her head.

‘I’m too busy. I’ll see you later.’

While Alan headed for the beach and the waiting motor launch, Autumn took the cool, shady path which led through the luxuriant tropical gardens, winding its way past the children’s play area, the tennis courts, and the huge Olympic-size swimming pool with its palm-roofed bar and tempting sun-loungers.

Inside the foyer, the discreet hum of the air-conditioning was the only sound to break the silence. The pretty dark-skinned girl behind the reception desk smiled warmly at Autumn.

‘No customers for you today,’ she chuckled. ‘They’re all too busy enjoying themselves to want to waste a minute!’

Autumn smiled back. It was true that her job here, in some ways, was something of a sinecure, since so far she had received not one complaint. She wandered into the main bar and sat down. Like everything else in the complex, its design had been carefully thought out to complement its surroundings. A large, low-roofed building, open to the sea on one side, and the gardens on another, it had a cool mosaic-tiled floor and simple white walls. Terracotta urns full of bougainvillea and other exotic tropical plants broke up its starkness and provided brilliant patches of colour.

An archway led to the restaurant and dance floor, and Autumn could hear the two brightly plumaged parrots in their huge aviary calling stridently to one another. These two birds had proved a great attraction to the children and their vocabulary seemed to increase by the day.

As she relaxed in one of the cane lounging chairs and watched the soothing, almost hypnotic motion of the waves, Autumn reflected that St John’s really was a dream tropical island paradise come true.

Alan had wanted to create a luxurious and yet unrestricted holiday atmosphere for people who wanted to get away from humdrum normality, and Autumn felt that he had succeeded, or would succeed if he could persuade their visitor to invest in the venture.

The hotel boasted two pools and had five hundred bedrooms, but as these were located in small blocks of eight double rooms, or in some cases, luxuriously equipped chalet bungalows with two double bedrooms, a sitting room and even a small kitchen, spread over fifty acres of beautiful gardens, there was no sense of overcrowding.

For the amateur sportsman the tiny island had everything his heart could desire, from tennis courts and golf, to scuba diving and every known type of water sport, all with expert tuition. Alan’s design for the complex had been on a grand scale, every tiny detail carefully considered so that guests would lack for nothing, whether it was French cuisine, or the ability to buy their own food from the small supermarket and eat al fresco should the mood take them. Every room or bungalow had a veranda or balcony, with a superb view of the sea and the gardens, and behind the main hotel block rose the magnificent backcloth of the volcanic mountain from which the island was formed, clothed in tropical rain-forest.

‘Hello there! Alan said I’d find you here!’

Autumn smiled lazily at the small brunette walking towards her. ‘Hello, Sally. Has he sent you to soften me up?’

Sally Ferrars laughed, sympathetically.

‘Poor Autumn,’ she teased. ‘But it’s your own fault for looking so fantastic!’ She eyed Autumn’s tan enviously before glancing at her own slender limbs. ‘I hope we stay here long enough for me to get a bit of colour. Rick has a weekend off coming up soon, and I want to look my best.’

‘Made any plans for the wedding yet?’ Autumn asked her.

She and Sally had known one another for two years. They had met at night school classes where they had both gone to learn German, and when Autumn had mentioned that she was looking for a job and had had previous hotel work, Sally had suggested that she apply for a courier’s job that had fallen vacant.

‘Some time before Christmas,’ she replied in answer to Autumn’s question. ‘But we don’t know when yet. It all depends when the builders finish the house.’ She yawned and sat down. ‘Tell you what, I could get fatally used to this slower pace of life. I’ve only been here three days, and yet already I’m quite accustomed to being waited on hand and foot!’

‘Umm, it does grow on you,’ Autumn admitted.

The hotel had only been open for three months and she had been there from the start. Because of the setback with the hurricane many things were still not properly finished and Alan had relied on her a good deal to liaise between the work force on the island and his London office. In many ways Autumn had been relieved when he announced that he was coming out to see how things were progressing and she had been glad to hand the responsibility of dealing with the contractors back to him. As the island was so small, with no landing strip, everything had to be brought in by boat, and this was an expensive and protracted business.

‘Alan’s gone out to meet our visitor,’ Sally said unnecessarily. ‘I don’t think he expected the negotiations to blow up so suddenly, otherwise he wouldn’t have left London.’

‘Well, I expect the investor would have wanted to see the set-up here anyway.’

‘Umm. I wonder what he’s like?’

‘Not thinking of trading Rick in already, are you?’ Autumn teased.

Sally shook her head reprovingly, eyeing her friend’s slender, tanned body with envy.

‘It’s probably just as well you didn’t go with Alan. Dressed like that you’d have given our visitor a heart-attack! That bikini is practically an incitement to rape!’

Autumn sat up quickly, frowning. ‘It’s nowhere near as brief as some.’

Sally laughed. ‘I know, but it’s what’s inside it that makes the difference,’ she teased. ‘I’m surprised you’ve never tried modelling, with your figure.’

‘I’m not flat-chested enough,’ Autumn replied matter-of-factly, contemplating the softly swelling curves partially concealed by the scarlet cotton. ‘Besides, I’ve heard it’s dull, hard work.’

‘Umm, but think of all those gorgeous, exciting men you’d get to meet!’

‘I am,’ Autumn responded, her voice so bleak that Sally glanced worriedly at her.

‘I thought we’d agreed that it was time to put the past behind you. You’re only twenty-two. You’ve plenty of time to start again.’

Autumn grimaced slightly. ‘A broken marriage isn’t exactly something you can tie up in blue ribbons and push away at the back of a drawer. And it isn’t an experience I want to repeat—ever.’

‘Not even if the right man came along?’ Sally coaxed.

‘There isn’t any “right man”, Autumn said in a very dry voice. ‘Only plenty of wrong ones.’

Although they had been friends for some time and Sally knew about Autumn’s broken marriage, she knew very little about the man to whom Autumn had been married, or the life she had led prior to their meeting, except that it had left Autumn withdrawn and bitter. Autumn had always made it plain that she didn’t want to talk about the past, and Sally had respected her wishes, but now she said softly.

‘My, my, you did get burned, didn’t you? Care to talk about it?’

‘There’s nothing to talk about,’ Autumn told her, with a smile that robbed the words of their brusqueness. ‘I made a mistake…’

‘About marrying him, or loving him?’

Autumn’s smile was bitter. ‘Neither. My mistake was in thinking that he loved me.’ She got up, brushing sand from skin which had the soft, warm bloom of a ripe peach.

‘Do you realise that some folks would give anything for that sunbleached look your hair’s got since you came out here?’ Sally complained, tactfully changing the subject.

‘Yes. Do you realise how much conditioner I need to use? The sun and salt are fatal. Actually I’ve been thinking of having it cut, it’s beginning to become a nuisance.’

The hotel boasted an international class hairdressing salon and she fingered the fluid strands of blonde hair curling on to her shoulders, contemplatively.

‘If I were a rival, I’d be dragging you to that salon myself,’ Sally assured her with a grin. ‘But as I’ve already hooked my man, let me give you a piece of sisterly advice—leave your hair as it is. It suits you—and it’s sexy.’

Autumn pulled a face, her eyes clouding faintly. Sally had meant the word as a compliment, but that wasn’t how she saw it. To be called ‘sexy’ was like someone touching an exposed nerve and implied that she was deliberately seeking to attract the attention of the opposite sex. Nothing could be farther from the truth. She had already endured enough of the humiliation that followed sexual bondage to last her a lifetime. The lessons she had learned during her brief marriage would last a lifetime. They ought to do, she reflected bitterly, they had been taught by an expert, but at the time she had been too naïve to know that; just as she had been too naïve to see so many things that had only become obvious with maturity. No man was ever going to be allowed to have any sort of hold over her again, and to that end she had ruthlessly suppressed the deeply passionate side of her nature which had so betrayed her in the past.

‘Frigid’, one of her dates had called her in baffled _ frustration, but she had merely shrugged aside the word. Men used it as an insult and a weapon; a key to unlock a closed door, but it wouldn’t work with her.

Over her shoulder Sally was watching the beach.

‘Alan’s back!’ she said excitedly. ‘I wish the launch was a little bit closer, I’m dying to see what the big fish looks like.’

Autumn shrugged. ‘Fifty, paunchy, balding, and probably still thinking he’s God’s gift to women.’

‘That’s a bit harsh,’ Sally complained. ‘By the way, I’ve got strict orders to stick to Alan like glue at dinner. He wants you to be free to devote all your attention to charming our visitor.’

‘And I’ve told him I won’t be used,’ Autumn said crisply.

‘Yes, I know. Look, it shouldn’t be so bad. I’ve persuaded him that it would look a bit obvious if the three of you dined alone, so it’s his bungalow for a general discussion and drinks, followed by dinner for the four of us at the Five Fathoms restaurant. That’s what I came to tell you really. We won’t be eating until about eight, and Alan wants you over at his bungalow for half six, so that you can help him put our friend fully in the picture.’

Recognising her friend’s tactful hand in the rearrangement of the evening, Autumn smiled faintly. She hadn’t been looking forward to an evening being very obviously dangled in front of Alan’s visitor, like a piece of tempting bait. Fond though she was of Alan, and much as she was aware of how much she owed him, her own self-respect was something she meant to retain no matter what the cost.

‘I’ll see you later,’ Sally announced, getting to her feet. ‘Alan wants me to type up some figures for him and take them over to the bungalow.’ She frowned anxiously. ‘I do hope everything goes okay. It would be criminal if he lost St John’s now, after all he’s done. Every cent he owns is tied up in it.’

‘I’ll do what I can,’ Autumn told her. ‘But I object to being used as a lure.’

‘Yes, I know, but you know Alan—tact isn’t his strong suit. I don’t think he ever intended you to come on strong with the heavy seduction scene. A light flirtation was probably all he had in mind.’

‘Have you any idea who this man is?’ Autumn asked her.

Sally shook her head.

‘Not a clue. Alan’s been awfully cagey—something about everything having to be kept strictly secret until he comes to a decision. You know how cloak-and-dagger these financial deals can be. I’m sure financiers must all be closet secret agents at heart!’

The bar was starting to fill up with guests wanting to enjoy the view and relax over a pre-dinner drink, and several of them paused to speak to Autumn.

On her way back to her bungalow she paused to glance at the notice board, pleased to see that the boat trip round the island, which was a fortnightly excursion, was well subscribed to.

In her bungalow she glanced at her watch. Half past five. She had an hour to get ready. Deciding against anything too formal, she opened her wardrobe and withdrew a silk two-piece, in deep cyclamen pink, leaving it on the bed while she stepped under the shower.

The cool sting of the water was instantly reviving and she enjoyed the therapeutic effect of the water against her skin. Towelling herself dry, she caught a glimpse of her body in the full-length mirror and frowned, turning away. There had been a time, shortly after her marriage broke up, when she found herself hating the sight of her own flesh, almost to the point where she wanted to inflict pain upon it for its betrayal, but this mood had passed and with it the desire to dress in drab, dull clothes that concealed her figure.

Bending to plug in her hair-dryer, she frowned again, her mind on the letter she had recently received from her solicitor. As she had only been married to her husband for a year before she left him, there could be no divorce without his consent for five years after the date of their marriage. It was now two years since she had left him; that meant she had another two years to wait before she could divorce him. She wielded her hairbrush angrily, making her scalp tingle. As she had made it plain that she had no plans to remarry, the two-year wait should not prove too onerous, her solicitor claimed, but until she was completely and legally free Autumn felt as though she were still held in thrall to the past. That she could never again recapture the innocence she had once had, she did not dispute, but while her marriage continued to exist, even if only on paper, it was like an open wound deep inside her, refusing to heal, festering and spreading its poison through her life. She knew her reasoning was illogical, but her desire to be free possessed her to the extent that she felt as though she were in limbo, unable to get on with the business of living until she had finally severed herself from the past. No one but herself knew how she felt. When she had walked out on her marriage she had locked the door on her memories and thrown away the key. Her mouth compressed. Two more years. How was she to endure it? Beg and plead to be set free? Her mouth twisted bitterly. No way!

The cyclamen silk emphasised her tan, the vivid colour making her hair seem fairer, her eyes more intensely blue, and the thin fabric clung seductively to her long, slender legs; the brief camisole top revealing the full taut swell of her breasts.

People dressed casually on St John’s and Autumn slid her bare feet into high-heeled cyclamen sandals, spraying herself lightly with Opium, before adding a slick of lip-gloss to her mouth. In a face that was delicately modelled with high cheekbones and an almost fragile jawline, she thought her mouth too wide and full. It was only since coming to London that she had discovered that men found it sexy, and she had gone through a stage of wearing only the palest lipstick as she tried to detract from its appeal. Now she had come to terms with her own sexuality. She no longer cared how others viewed her; only how she viewed herself. Her own self-respect was more important than the opinions of others.

The thin silk whispered provocatively against her legs as she stepped outside into the dense darkness of the tropical night, alive with sounds that seemed to echo the pulsing beat of the sea against the shore.

As she opened the door of Alan’s bungalow, Sally smiled up at her over Alan’s head. Alan himself was sitting on the edge of his chair; the posture a familiar one, his mind and body totally engrossed in the man seated opposite him. The electric light was unkind, revealing the stress in his eyes, but didn’t stop him from looking as alert as a terrier at a rat-hole, as he talked quickly, gesticulating, proffering the papers stacked neatly on the table in front of him.

Sally was drinking a rum punch, and poured one for Autumn, who took it with a smile. A large jug of the punch stood on the table, and as Sally leaned forward to top up Alan’s glass Autumn had her first glimpse of the man sitting opposite him.

Recognition and fear welled up inside her like sickness. She was shaking so badly that she had to clasp her hands together to hide their trembling. Thick dark hair curled down over the collar of a pale silk shirt, a jacket lying discarded next to its owner, his back lean and muscled beneath the thin covering.

Alan had stopped talking and was listening carefully. Autumn felt as though she had strayed into a nightmare. She had no need to listen to that cool, incisive voice, shredding all Alan’s carefully balanced arguments; its every inflection and intonation was as familiar to her as her own. If she listened hard enough she could even hear the faint contempt lacing the words.

‘You say everything would have been fine if it hadn’t been for this hurricane,’ he was saying to Alan. ‘But surely hurricanes and tropical islands are something that automatically go together and must be allowed for?’

Alan flushed darkly, his voice conciliating as he mumbled a reply.

How well she knew that hard, ‘I’ve got you in a corner,’ tone, Autumn thought numbly. And what would follow. Alan wouldn’t be allowed to escape until his arguments were relentlessly decimated. Her sickness grew and she wanted badly to run, and then Alan looked up and registered her presence, wariness and relief struggling for supremacy as he stood up and drew her forward.

‘Autumn, let me introduce you to Yorke Laing, head of Laing Airlines.’

She could tell from Alan’s eyes that although he was trying hard to pretend he did not, he knew quite well who Yorke was, and she acknowledged the introduction with a cold smile, extending her hand for the briefest second.

‘Yorke.’

She was not going to be part of the pretence. She knew that Sally was staring at her, and felt relief that her friend at least had not been a party to this charade.

She didn’t need to meet Yorke’s cold green eyes to know the expression she would find there; she had seen it too often before. His face wasn’t strictly handsome. It was too rugged for that, too male; the harsh symmetry of bones and flesh mirroring his nature and attitude to life. Dear God, Autumn thought hysterically. Alan had baited his line for a ‘big fish’ and he had caught one with a vengeance, but what had he used as bait. Her?

Yorke’s eyes slid over her with cool insolence, stripping away the silk suit and laying bare the flesh beneath, but Autumn forced herself to withstand it, her own eyes cold and contemptuous. There had been a time when that look had been sufficient to set her body on fire; but in those days she had seen only the sexual awareness and not the coldness which lay beneath it.

Women had been standing in line for Yorke from the first day he wore long trousers, and there wasn’t a thing he didn’t know about their minds or bodies.

‘Look, we’d better get over to the restaurant,’ Alan said quickly. ‘We can have a drink over there and talk later, when we’re all feeling more relaxed.’

He was standing up as he spoke, and Autumn walked out of the bungalow without a word, ignoring Sally’s puzzled eyes. She could feel Yorke looking at her, and she used the smile experience had taught her was a far more effective weapon than any amount of irritation or embarrassment. It was so cold and bitter that it normally froze off even the most ardent and thick-skinned Don Juan. On Yorke it was like using paper to ward off a forest fire; his glance consumed her, destroying her barricades, warning her of what was to come, but she gave him another of her cold little smiles and turned away from him to Alan. Behind her she could hear the breathless excitement in Sally’s voice as she answered his deep-toned questions. Even Sally, fathoms deep in love with her Richard, was not proof against Yorke’s sexuality.

Alan closed the door of his bungalow and turned to Yorke to make some comment about arranging for him to see over the grounds, and Sally used the momentary diversion to murmur curiously to Autumn, ‘What gives? I detected a definite undercurrent in the bungalow just now, and when you saw Yorke you looked as though you’d seen a ghost.’

‘No such luck,’ Autumn muttered bitterly, taken off guard when Yorke loomed over her, his teeth white in the velvet darkness.

‘What a devoted wife you are, my love,’ he murmured dulcetly, loudly enough for Sally to hear. ‘And when I’ve come all this way to find you…’

He turned back to Alan and Sally gaped in bemusement.

‘Was I hearing things, or…’ she broke off when she saw Autumn’s pale face. ‘My God, Autumn, he is your husband, isn’t he?’

Such was Yorke’s power that even though Sally knew what her marriage had done to her, she could still look at her with perplexed eyes, and was no doubt thinking she must have been a fool to leave him, Autumn thought on a ragged sigh. But who was she to blame Sally? Hadn’t she been just as bemused—once? She loitered behind the others deliberately, glad that the path through the gardens to the Five Fathoms restaurant was barely wide enough for two people. At first when she saw the white flash of a dinner jacket she froze in alarm, thinking it was Yorke, but he was in front of her, his arm resting protectively on Sally’s waist as he helped her to negotiate the twisty path.

‘I’m sorry about this, Autumn,’ Alan muttered, falling into step beside her. ‘It was a hell of a thing to do to you, but he didn’t give me much alternative. When he was first introduced to me I had no idea he was your husband. He’d been recommended to me by my merchant bankers and he seemed enthusiastic about the island. It wasn’t until he’d discovered just how bad things were that he started to put the screws on. He told me if I didn’t fix up this meeting he’d make sure I wouldn’t come out of this mess with ten pounds to call my own.’

‘So you simply caved in and threw me to the wolves?’ She tried to keep the shaken anger out of her voice, but it was impossible. When she had first seen Yorke in the bungalow she had thought she must be hallucinating; that it was all part of the dreadful nightmares that used to torment her in the early months after she left him. There had never been any question of him wanting her back—he had wanted the marriage to end just as much as she did herself. When she had left him she had reverted to her maiden name, simply because she couldn’t bear to retain anything that might remind her of him, and as far as she knew he had never made any attempt to trace her, so why this, now?

‘Come on, it isn’t as bad as all that,’ Alan said gruffly. ‘He just wants to talk to you, Autumn.’

Autumn ignored him.

‘You knew who he was all the time,’ she accused. ‘All the time you were giving me that “be nice to him” bit, you knew!’

‘He made me promise to say nothing. I tell you, Autumn, he would have ruined me if I hadn’t agreed. And still might. Look, I know I’ve no right to ask this of you, but St John’s means one hell of a lot to me; not just financially… and he has the power to make or break it.’

‘Come on, you two,’ Sally called back to them. ‘Stop dawdling!’

Yorke barely glanced at Autumn when they arrived at the restaurant, but she was aware of him with every breath she drew. Why had he gone to such lengths to find her? Did he want a divorce? Her heart thudded against her breastbone and she glanced at his shuttered profile, her palms slightly damp. If that was the case, surely he wouldn’t seek her out in person?

And Alan. He really was unbelievable. Surely he must be able to see that she couldn’t stay on St John’s now? But he didn’t see, she thought tiredly. He was so wrapped up in his business that he saw only that, and Yorke had made use of the fact.

The Five Fathoms restaurant was something of a showpiece; the restaurant itself was below ground, having been excavated out of the volcanic rock, at the opposite end of the bay from the main hotel complex.

Inside it was the last word in luxury, stretching out below the seabed; one huge illuminated glass ‘window’ looking out on to the undersea world of the coral reef, teeming with tiny fish and live coral. Clever lighting and engineering had turned the sea outside into an ‘aquarium’ and through the glass ‘window’ the diners could watch the ceaseless play of underwater life, while they ate and danced.