Kitabı oku: «Stuck with You: the perfect feel-good romantic comedy!»

For Natalie, who walked with me to get the leaf.

Contents

Cover

Blurb

Book List

Title Page

Author Bio

Acknowledgements

Dedication

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty-Two

Extract

Endpages

Copyright

Chapter One

Daniel walks across the room towards me. I can hardly believe it. He’s so handsome in his tuxedo. Goosebumps break out across my skin and the hairs on the back of my neck rise. My heart is thumping so hard I’m sure it must be visible through my prom dress.

‘Elena,’ he says, and he smiles, a sexy glint in his green eyes. He stands close enough so I can hear him above the music, and I feel the heat from his body. He smells divine. I just want to kiss him, but instead I say, ‘Hello, Daniel,’ in a surprisingly confident voice.

‘Do you want to dance?’ He raises an eyebrow flirtatiously, and his eyes burn into mine. My knees are weak, but I smile boldly, pretending I’m not completely in awe of him, just like I’ve been doing for the past two years. It’s hard though, when I’m so happy that I feel like beams of light are shooting from my body.

Daniel takes my hand and leads me onto the dance floor. The slow songs have already started, and couples are swaying to the music, entwined in each other’s arms beneath the glittering lights of the disco ball. Before I even have chance to worry about how we’re going to dance together, Daniel slips his hands around my waist and pulls me close.

‘You’re beautiful,’ he says into my ear, and his hot breath sears my skin. My eyes flicker up to his, and I don’t know what to say, so I just gaze at him, my arms around his neck. I’m tingling all over and his eyes don’t leave mine as he bends his head. Our lips meet, warm and soft…

‘Elena! Elena, wake up. Have you seen my pants?’

‘What?’ I kept my eyes shut, not wanting to leave my lovely dream world to deal with my grumpy real-life boyfriend.

‘My boxer shorts. Where are they? They’re not in my drawer.’

‘Errrm…’ Sighing deeply, I sat up. Alex was still dripping wet from the shower, a stripy green towel around his hips. ‘I don’t know… err, wait… I washed some yesterday. Try the radiator in the lounge.’ I yawned and tried to shield my eyes from the light. He disappeared from the bedroom, reappearing moments later holding a pair of blue boxer shorts.

‘They’re still wet!’ he said, accusingly. ‘Elena, what am I meant to do now?’

‘How is it my fault?’ I said, incensed. ‘The dryer’s broken. You wouldn’t have any clothes at all if I hadn’t have washed them yesterday. What happened to you doing your own washing? You should be grateful I washed them at all.’

‘You’re a woman, aren’t you? You should know about these things.’

‘Oh, get lost, Alex. This isn’t the nineteen-fifties, you know!’

‘What am I meant to do now? All of my underwear is either wet or dirty.’

‘They can’t be that wet. Pass them here and I’ll dry them with my hairdryer.’ Alex threw them at me and busied himself styling his hair in the mirror, muttering under his breath. Sitting on the edge of the bed, I switched on my hairdryer and blasted the pants dry. They were only a bit damp around the waist band, not as wet as Alex had made out. He was such a drama queen.

Bored with my task of blasting pants, I watched him rub gel into his short dark hair, turning his head this way and that to check it was perfect. He examined a spot close up, then caught me watching him and scowled.

‘I’ve got some blemish cream, if you want it?’ Switching off the dryer, I shook out the pants, testing them for dampness.

‘I don’t need any!’ he snapped. ‘Are my boxers ready?’

Briefly, I considered blow-drying the crotch for a few more minutes until it was boiling hot, but decided that was probably a bit mean. ‘Yes, they’re ready.’ I tossed them onto the side of the bed nearest him, and they slipped off onto the floor.

‘Careful!’ he said, as though they were precious and breakable. Anger bubbled inside me and I grabbed my bathrobe and went to have a shower before I said something I might regret. Alex had been so distant and grumpy lately; we could hardly be in the same room for more than ten minutes without arguing.

The bathroom was still steamy from Alex’s shower, and smelt strongly of his spicy body wash. His dirty clothes from yesterday were lying on the floor, right next to the wicker clothes basket. I snatched them up and stuffed them in, slamming the lid shut afterwards. He was so pedantic about some things, and yet in other ways he was just like a child. Huffing, I stepped into the hot spray and closed my eyes.

Now, where was I…

I tried to summon up the warm, moist pressure of Daniel’s lips on mine, but it was no good; Alex had chased it away with his bad mood, and thoughts of work and chores were closing in. I lathered up my hair, lifting my face to the spray so it could massage away my frown. Daniel was my most perfect memory; a little bit of heaven stored up from my youth. I’d had a massive crush on him throughout sixth-form college, but had been too shy to let him know. When he came over and asked me to dance at the end of the prom, it was like all my Christmases had come at once. And his kiss had been the sweetest kiss ever. I knew he was going travelling, so there was no chance we’d get together properly. Perhaps that’s why I had such good memories of him: neither of us ever had chance to disappoint the other. It was one perfect, romantic, fairy-tale moment that I could relive whenever I was feeling down. I seemed to be reliving it a lot recently.

I pictured his shoulder-length silky blond hair, sharp cheek bones and lovely green eyes. He had a cupid’s-bow mouth that stretched into a wide, easy smile and a kissable, pudgy bottom lip. He was the coolest guy in the sixth form. Not that my best friend, Rachel, agreed, but there were plenty of girls who did think that. As the guitarist in the school rock band, he got plenty of attention from girls. I was just one of many adoring fans, and I knew there was no way he’d look at me: the shy girl from his English class, a cellist in the school orchestra.

My cello now rested in the corner of the bedroom, gathering dust. Alex wanted me to sell it, but I didn’t feel like parting with it just yet.

A sudden pounding on the bathroom door made me jump and Alex shouted, ‘Are you going to be much longer in there? I need to brush my teeth.’

Annoyed, I shouted back, ‘Give me five minutes,’ and squirted conditioner into my hand.

When I got out of the shower, Alex was pacing impatiently outside.

‘Can’t you eat your breakfast first?’ I asked, rubbing a towel over my hair.

‘I haven’t time for breakfast,’ he said, pushing past me into the steamy bathroom. ‘I’ve got a meeting this morning.’

‘You still need breakfast. It’s the most important meal of the day.’

‘Spare me the lecture, will you? I’ll get something at work.’ He slammed the door and I recoiled slightly before shouting, ‘I’m going to be late home tonight, remember? I’m meeting Rachel for a coffee after work.’

There was no answer, just the sound of gushing water and the scrubbing of teeth. With a huff, I went back into the bedroom and pulled some clothes out of the wardrobe, before crossing to the mirror to run a comb through my wet hair. I heard Alex come out of the bathroom and looked at the bedroom door, expecting him to pop his head round to say goodbye, but his footsteps went on past and I heard the front door open and slam shut.

I blinked at my reflection in the mirror. That wasn’t good, was it? I felt as empty and cold as the flat had suddenly become. He’s under pressure at work, I told myself. He’s tired and he’s stressed. But that was no reason to take it out on me.

I got ready for work, feeling sad and deflated before the day had even begun.

***

‘So, why do you think Alex is being so funny with you?’ Rachel asked, her head tilted in sympathy.

‘I don’t know.’ I shook my head and concentrated on gathering granules of brown sugar from the Formica table top with my fingertip. The coffee shop was full of early evening sunshine and muted chatter. Two tables away, a baby wailed. I knew how it felt. My mood hadn’t lifted since this morning.

‘How long has this been going on?’ Rachel leaned towards me slightly so she could hear over the sound of the noisy baby. Her ample bosom pressed against her coffee cup and brown liquid cascaded down the sides and into the saucer. She righted it quickly, then looked back up at me.

‘I can’t remember exactly. It’s just been a gradual thing. And we’ve both been so busy at work and stuff, I suppose we’ve both been freezing each other out.’

‘Well, perhaps that’s the problem. Maybe you should book a weekend away together somewhere. Spend some quality time with each other.’

I shrugged. ‘Maybe.’ I couldn’t think of anything I’d rather do less than spend a weekend with just Alex. What would we talk about? Our weekends consisted of him going to the gym, and visiting friends and family, usually separately. I frowned.

‘Or you could go to counselling sessions. They might help.’

‘I don’t think Alex would go to counselling, Rachel,’ I said. ‘Besides, if we need counselling at this stage of our relationship, maybe it’s just not meant to be.’

‘Well, if you love him…’

‘See, that’s the thing; I’m really not sure I do.’

Rachel’s eyebrows shot up. ‘Really?’

‘Well, I’m not head over heels in love with him.’

‘But that doesn’t last anyway, does it? You fall into something more comfortable and settled.’

‘Yeah, well, I feel pretty uncomfortable and unsettled right now.’ I sighed and looked away, across the café. A young couple were leaning towards each other, smiling into each other’s eyes. I felt a wave of sadness. When had Alex and I last looked at each other like that? I couldn’t even remember. He’d never been particularly romantic anyway. Even in the early days, he’d preferred staring at a spreadsheet than into my eyes. It never occurred to me to mind; I thought he was much too grown-up and sensible to bother with such things. After all the beer-swilling lads at university, Alex had been a breath of fresh air. He already had a career at a bank, lived on his own in a flat and drove a flash car. Not that these things were particularly high on my list of priorities, but he seemed so sorted; so safe. He epitomised security. ‘Anyway, Rachel, why are you trying to convince me to stay in this relationship? You don’t even like Alex, do you?’

‘Well, no,’ she admitted, ‘but I don’t want to start slagging him off only for you to decide you’re going to stay with him for ever and ever and resent me for all the things I said.’

‘Oh,’ I frowned. ‘I didn’t realise you hated him that much. I just thought you found him boring.’

Rachel laughed. ‘I’m joking. I don’t really hate him. But he is a bit dull, and you know I’ll support you no matter what.’

I smiled at her and sighed. ‘Well, you’re right. I haven’t made my mind up about anything yet.’

‘Are you worried about the flat?’

‘Not at all. It’s his flat. I’d just walk away. But it seems like such a backwards step to go back to my parents’ house.’

‘Come and live with me!’

‘You’ve only got the one bedroom and you’ve got this new man in your life. How’s it going with Patrick anyway?’

‘Pretty good, actually.’ Rachel’s face lit up and she went pink. She looked as glamorous as ever today. Her dark red hair was swept up off her face in a chic up-do, and she was wearing a vintage green dress that matched her eyes. Her winged eyeliner and red lipstick were immaculate, despite a long day working in her florist’s shop.

‘Ooh, tell me more!’

She shrugged, looking coy. ‘He’s taking me away for the weekend. To Paris.’

‘Paris? Wow!’

‘Yes!’ she squealed with excitement, clutching my hand. ‘We’re spending this weekend with Gemma, his little girl.’

‘Ah, lovely! How old is she again?’

‘Just four. She’s so cute.’

‘What about the mum?’

‘Remarried, so no problems there.’

‘Well, that sounds wonderful.’

‘I know!’ Her smile faded and she looked at me sadly. ‘Oh, but I’m sorry if that sounds smug when you’re having problems with Alex.’

‘Not at all. In fact, you should have stopped me droning on and told me your happy news instead.’

‘Don’t be silly. You know I’m always here if you ever need to talk. And if you need my help packing up or anything…’

A shard of fear pierced my stomach and I flapped a hand. ‘Thanks. It’ll probably blow over though. I’m probably premenstrual or something and he’s stressed at work. I’m just letting off steam. We’ll sort it out.’

Rachel’s brow creased in concern. ‘I don’t think so, Elena. If your heart’s telling you to get out, you need to get out. Life’s too short to spend it with the wrong man.’

Forcing a smile, I glanced down at my watch. ‘I ought to go, actually. I’ve still got to go food shopping.’

Rachel pulled a face. ‘At least it will be quiet at this time. It was bedlam when I went on Saturday.’

I smiled and finished off my tea before reaching for my bag. ‘It’s great to catch up,’ I said.

‘I know, although I wish we’d had more time to talk.’ Rachel looked troubled as she got to her feet. ‘We’ll have to make a night of it. Maybe next week?’

‘Yes, that’ll be great.’ I smiled as I hooked my bag over my shoulder.

Weaving my way through the tables to the exit, I stepped out into the early evening sunshine. It had been raining on and off all day, and the spring air was fresh and cool. I drew it deep into my lungs.

Rachel gave me a Chanel-scented hug and kissed me on the cheek. ‘Call me if you need anything,’ she said, before turning to walk off up the street.

Chapter Two

The supermarket was pretty quiet and I whizzed round with my basket, picking up fruit and vegetables, bread and milk. I didn’t need much; just a few essentials. I was through the tills in no time. I was going to take the stairs up to the car park, but as I was passing the lift, its doors slid open, practically inviting me inside. I looked at it for a moment before stepping in and selecting the floor I needed on the keypad. I wasn’t keen on lifts as a rule, but at least it was empty.

Then, just as the doors were about to close, a man slipped through with an apologetic smile. I smiled back and had a quick rummage in my shopping bags. I was sure I’d forgotten something. Tin foil. Damn, I should have got tin foil.

The man pressed a button on the control panel and stared straight ahead as the lift doors closed. I’d always found it awkward, being in a lift with a complete stranger. When I was a child and shopping with my mum, she’d try to talk to people in lifts and I’d roll my eyes and huff, embarrassed by her nervous chatter. These days, however, I had to fight the urge to do the same, as though standing in silence was somehow hostile and unfriendly.

There was a pause and the lift doors opened again, but we hadn’t moved from the ground floor. The man tutted and stabbed the keypad with his index finger once more. I glanced across at him as the doors slid closed again. There was something vaguely familiar about him, but I couldn’t think where I knew him from. I looked at him from out of the corner of my eye as the lift shuddered and started to move. The grinding noise and the shaking didn’t bother me at first. It was a pretty old lift, after all. When it jolted to a sudden stop, I stepped forward, expecting the doors to ping open and reveal the car park.

The doors stayed closed.

‘Erm…?’

I stared at the dull metal doors for a moment before turning to look at the man. He raised an eyebrow, then looked up at the roof and around the lift. My heart stopped.

It was him. It was Daniel Moore!

I didn’t know what to do; I didn’t know how to feel. Emotions warred within me. I was delighted and horrified. Excited and panicked. Would he recognise me? Would he remember that kiss? What if he didn’t? Would that destroy the memory?

And what if he’d turned into a horrible man? Then my perfect memory would most definitely be ruined.

Panic gripped me. Turning quickly away, I slammed my hand against the door and then beat against it with my fist. Why wouldn’t the damn thing open? I had to get out now.

‘Hold on, calm down,’ he said, a trace of laughter in his voice. It was deeper than I remembered. ‘Maybe it’s just having a moment. I’ll see if it’ll take us to the next floor. Maybe that will work.’ He began pressing each button, one after the other. I watched him over my shoulder. He was wearing a brown woolly jumper, blue jeans and brown boots. He looked bigger than he’d been at college. Taller and broader. His hair was no longer silky soft and long, but cropped short and a darker shade of blond. Was it really him? Maybe I was mistaken.

How long had it been since I’d last seen him? Seven, eight years? My mind must be playing tricks. There was no way it could be him. I must be wrong.

‘Is it making any difference?’ I stammered. ‘Do you think it will work?’

‘Not as far as I can tell.’

I looked around at the aluminium walls. Were we stuck in this lift? This couldn’t be happening.

‘Are we between floors?’ He stared past me at the doors, eyes narrowed.

I stared at him stupidly. ‘How can you tell?’

‘Have a look through the gap where the doors meet. Can you see light? Or is it just black?’

There wasn’t much of a gap. I pressed my eye to it, feeling the cold metal against my cheek. ‘Just black, I think. Can we prise the doors apart?’

‘Not much point if it’s just a brick wall outside.’ He stepped forward and I moved out of his way so he could press his eye to the narrow gap. ‘I can’t tell,’ he muttered, before inserting his fingertips into the crack and trying to pull them apart. The doors didn’t give. He swore softly and then apologised.

‘It’s okay.’ I crossed to the control panel. There was a button marked emergency and I pressed my finger to it briefly. A bell rang loudly, making me jump. ‘Why would they do that? Why would they make it sound so horrid?’ I complained. I was already shaking and my legs felt weak. ‘As if being trapped in a lift isn’t bad enough, they make the emergency button so loud it shreds every last nerve you have.’

‘I know. It’s crap.’ He looked up at the ceiling and around at the smooth aluminium walls. ‘So loud and yet still no one bloody answers it. Press it again.’

I pressed it again. And then again and again.

‘Are they kidding me?’ I snapped. ‘This is a busy supermarket! Customers use this lift all day, every day. Surely they must have someone monitoring it in case anyone gets stuck.’ I pressed the button again. ‘Bang on the door, see if someone hears us from outside.’

Daniel thumped his fist against the door panel and then kicked the door. His boot made a loud metallic boom.

‘Here,’ I said, removing my shoe and banging the heel against the door. It made a loud metallic bang. ‘HELP!’ I shouted. ‘HELP!’

Daniel joined in, kicking and banging and shouting.

‘I can’t believe no one is hearing this,’ I said, after a long bout of cacophonous noise. My heart was pounding and I was sweating. ‘Surely there must be someone about? It’s not even that late.’

‘I know!’ He ran his hands through his short sandy hair and crossed to the buzzer again. He rang it repeatedly in longer and longer bursts while I carried on banging with my shoe. The noise filled my head, feeding my panic and making me more and more desperate to escape. I screamed until my voice broke and I coughed.

‘Hey! Hey, hey, hey! Take it easy.’ Daniel stepped towards me and took hold of my shoulders, his eyes wide with concern. It was definitely him. It was definitely, definitely Daniel Moore. Ripping myself away from his grip, I threw myself bodily at the doors. Bad idea. It hurt and I looked like a right idiot when I bounced off and landed heavily on the floor.

‘Jesus!’ Daniel looked down at me in astonishment. ‘Are you all right?’

Nodding mutely, I sat up slowly, rubbing my sore cheekbone. I wanted to cry, but then I’d look like even more of a nutter.

‘I don’t think this noise is doing our stress levels any good,’ he said, crouching down next to me. He looked at me thoughtfully. ‘I think we just need to chill for a while and try again when we’re ready.’

‘What if we run out of air?’ I heard myself say. ‘There doesn’t seem to be any air and it’s getting hotter and hotter.’

‘That’s because you’re screaming and kicking and panicking. There’s a vent up there, see? The air’s not about to run out. Let’s just be quiet for a minute or so and get our breath back.’

He sat on the floor beside me and took my hand. My instinct was to pull away; I knew my palm would be clammy and wet, whereas his was warm and dry. A bit rough though. I wondered what he did for a living. I’d always imagined he’d be a musician or something arty.

‘How can no one have heard us?’

‘Maybe they have and help is on its way?’ He looked up at the roof again. ‘I’m sure it won’t be long. It’s too busy here for us to go unnoticed for much longer. Come on now, just focus on your breathing.’

Wondering if he was some sort of yoga enthusiast, I sucked in a shuddering breath and let it out in a gasp. I hadn’t even realised my breathing was so shallow before.

‘In through your nose.’ He took a deep breath in, long and slow, and I tried to copy. ‘Out through your mouth. In through your nose. Out through your mouth.’

Gradually, my breathing slowed and my head started to clear. How was he so calm? He was just as trapped as me.

I looked at his grown-up face, remembering how he’d been all cheekbones and pouty lips. He was more manly now. His face was fuller and covered in beard. That bottom lip was still nice and pudgy though. I looked away, embarrassed to be staring.

‘Hey, don’t I know you?’ he said, his eyebrows drawing together in a frown. ‘It’s Elena, right? From college?’

My stomach dropped. Briefly, I considered denying it. Keep the dream. Keep the dream. But that seemed ridiculous when he clearly recognised me.

‘Yes,’ I nodded, and tried to smile. ‘Daniel, right?’

He smiled and I went pink. Feeling silly and self-conscious, I smoothed my skirt down over my knees.

‘So, what are you up to these days?’

‘I work for the council.’

‘Doing the bins?’

‘No!’ I laughed. ‘I work in HR.’

‘Ooh, get you.’

‘What about you?’

‘I’m a tree surgeon.’

‘Are you really? Wow. I thought you’d be a rock star or something.’

‘Oh well, I’m still in a band, you know. It might happen yet.’

‘Really? You still play?’

‘Yeah. What about you? You still play the cello?’

I looked at him in amazement. ‘You remember?’

‘Of course. It was a bloody massive thing. You used to drag it around, tripping everyone up as you went.’

‘I did not! I used to put it in the music department.’

‘You had to get it there though, didn’t you?’ Daniel got to his feet and peered up at the hatch in the roof. ‘Everyone used to dive for cover in the common room.’

‘Now you’re just being ridiculous,’ I said, sounding snippy. I’d been really self-conscious about my cello. I knew everyone used to stare at me.

‘So, do you still play?’

‘No. Its gathering dust in the corner of my bedroom. My boyfriend keeps telling me to sell it, but I can’t part with it for some reason.’

‘I don’t blame you. You played beautifully. Maybe you should play for him.’

I glanced up at him. When had he ever heard me play? ‘I think your memory must be deceiving you.’

He shrugged. ‘I remember you practising in the music room. It was lovely.’

‘Oh!’ I was surprised. I’d never thought he’d be interested in that kind of music. ‘Anyway, I have played for Alex. He wasn’t impressed.’

Daniel frowned. ‘What is he? Some kind of philistine?’

I smiled, feeling flattered. ‘So, you went travelling after college, didn’t you?’ I said, getting to my feet. ‘How did that go?’

‘It was a great. Seems like a lifetime ago now though. Did you go to uni?’

‘Yeah.’ I sighed and stared at the emergency call button again. ‘I never usually get the lift,’ I said. ‘Not unless I have a trolley.’

‘Nor me,’ he said. ‘But I saw the open door and thought, may as well.’

‘Me too.’ If only I’d carried on to those stairs. If only I’d ignored those open doors.

‘Maybe it’s a demon lift,’ he said. ‘Luring us in, ready to trap us and eat us alive.’

‘Okay, not helping.’

‘Sorry.’ He laughed and it made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. That laugh. I’d dreamt about that laugh.

‘Do you think we should bang again?’

‘Maybe, but absolutely no body slamming. I forbid it.’

I laughed and rubbed my shoulder. ‘I won’t be doing that again, don’t worry.’ I pressed the button once more and the speaker suddenly crackled into life.

‘Hello?’

‘Hello! Hi!’ I was so relieved someone had answered. ‘We’re trapped in the lift. Can you get us out, please?’

There was a lot of snuffling and banging and then the man’s voice again. ‘I’ll come and have a look, love. Is it just you in there?’

‘No, I’m with a man. His name’s Daniel.’

‘All right, love, I don’t need his bloody name and address.’ The intercom went off and I turned to Daniel in disbelief.

‘How rude!’

He laughed. ‘At least he’s coming to rescue us. Well done for pressing the buzzer.’ He sat back down on the floor again. It didn’t look very clean and I felt queasy thinking about how I’d been sitting down there just a few minutes ago. I put my shoe back on and picked up my bag of shopping in preparation to leave. The man would free us any moment, I was sure. There were a few clanking noises coming from outside, like a toolbox or something. Progress at last.

‘Here he comes with his rusty spanner,’ Daniel muttered. He eyed my shopping bag with interest. ‘Got anything nice in there? I’m starving.’

‘Didn’t you buy anything?’

‘No, I just used the cashpoint.’

‘Oh no! That seems doubly unfair to get stuck while going to a cashpoint.’

‘Serves me right for not taking the stairs.’ He leaned his head back and sniffed. ‘Still, I’m glad I’m in here with you. Imagine being stuck on your own? How would that have felt?’

Smiling, I rummaged in my bag, taking out a packet of biscuits.

‘Chocolate digestive?’

‘You’re a star!’ He reached for the packet and the clanking noises got louder. There was a sudden whirring sound that sounded like the lift had started back up and was about to move.

‘Yay!’ I said, but the word died on my lips as the lift shuddered again and the lights went off, plunging us into darkness. ‘What’s going on?’ Instinctively, I squatted next to Daniel and gripped his arm. ‘Why has it gone dark? I don’t like it!’

‘Shh shh. It’ll be all right. Don’t worry.’ Daniel caught my hand in his and squeezed it. I leaned into him for comfort.

‘You all right in there?’ A gruff male voice came from somewhere above us. ‘I can’t get you out, I’m afraid. Gonna have to call the fire brigade. Won’t be long.’

‘Can you put the lights back on?’ I shouted.