Kitabı oku: «A Father For Poppy»

For my dear friend Jill Jones.

Table of Contents

Cover

Excerpt

Dear Reader

About the Author

Title Page

Dedication

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER SIX

CHAPTER SEVEN

CHAPTER EIGHT

CHAPTER NINE

CHAPTER TEN

EPILOGUE

Copyright

CHAPTER ONE

THEY HAD MADE love for the last time with the evening sun laying strands of gold across them. It had been as good as it had always been—sweet, wild and passionate. But there had been sadness inside Tessa because deep down she’d known it was the end of the affair, although neither of them were prepared to put into words that it was over.

It had been the agreement when they’d met—no commitments, take what life offered and enjoy it. Wedding rings were a joke, brushed to one side with babies and mortgages. Having spent her young years amongst her parents’ quarrelling, unfaithfulness and eventual divorce, she was wary of the kind of hurts that a gold band on the finger could bring.

So she’d kept her distance from the men she’d met until Drake Melford had appeared in her life and everything had changed. He hadn’t asked anything of her except to make love and when they had it had been magical. There had been no suggestion of any kind of commitment and in the beginning she’d been totally happy.

The attraction between them had been intense. So much so that when they’d been together at either of their apartments they’d made love on the rug, the kitchen table, and even once on a park bench in moonlight when the place had been empty, giving no thought to the future. Only the present had mattered.

So what had gone wrong? Something had changed the magic into doubt and misgivings, telling her in lots of ways that it was over, and whenever she’d wanted to ask Drake what was happening to them there had been the ‘no strings’ pact that had made the words stick in her throat.

Her only comfort had been in knowing that she wasn’t competing against another woman, that it was his career that was going to take him away from her, and ever since then Tessa had kept the memory of that time buried deep in one of the past chapters of her life.

But a fleeting glimpse of the back of a man’s neck and the dark thatch of hair above it as he’d got into a taxi outside a London railway station had been a reminder that anything as memorable as the time she’d spent with Drake Melford would never stay buried.

She brushed a hand across her eyes as if to shut out a blinding light. It wasn’t the first time she’d given in to wishful thinking, and she knew how hard she had to fight to keep sane once the raw and painful memories were allowed to intrude into the life she had worked so hard to build in Drake’s absence.

She groaned softly and an old lady next to her in the taxi queue asked, ‘Are you all right, dear?’

Managing a smile, Tessa told her that it was just a stitch in her side instead of a thorn in her heart.

It was a Friday. She was in London for an important meeting and at the moment of seeing the man at the front of the queue getting into the taxi her thoughts were on what lay ahead and any surprise announcements that might be made.

She’d travelled up from Gloucestershire, where she was employed for the yearly AGM that was held in the city, and intended on staying the night at a hotel and catching an early train back in the morning.

Horizons Eye Hospital was on the edge of the elegant town of Glenminster, with the green hills of the county looking down on it, and was renowned for its excellence in specialised treatment. Tessa was employed there in a senior management position and was deeply committed to every aspect of it.

She’d heard it said that the health service had more managers than doctors. Though she, of course, respected the fantastic work done by the medical teams, at least a doctor didn’t have to get up in the middle of the night when a patient who had arrived with valuables in their possession and asked that they be put in the hospital safe was unexpectedly being discharged and wanted their belongings returned to them. As the only key holder, this meant a deal of trouble for Tess.

It had also been said that she must wish that her position there was more connected with healing than organising. But Tess had always believed that a clean, healthy and efficient facility with good, wholesome food did as much for a patient’s recovery as the medical miracles performed there.

As her taxi pulled up outside the building where the meeting was to take place, she was remembering a veiled comment that the chairman of the hospital board had made to her.

The top consultant of the hospital was retiring, so would be saying his goodbyes at the AGM, and the chairman had remarked that, much as the hospital was already famous, the man who was to replace him was going to take it even higher on the scale of excellent ophthalmology. When she’d asked for a name he’d just smiled and said, ‘All will be revealed at the AGM.’

And now here she was, still too bogged down with the past to be curious about the present, until she walked into the conference room and realised that this time she hadn’t been wrong in thinking she’d seen him. Drake Melford was there, chatting to some of her colleagues in his usual relaxed manner. It was history repeating itself.

Tessa turned quickly and made her way to a powder room, where a face devoid of colour stared back at her from the mirror. She closed her eyes, trying to shut out what she’d seen out there, telling herself that she should have known it was Drake that she’d glimpsed at the taxi rank.

She’d caressed his neck countless times, pressing kisses on to the strong column of it, raking her fingers through the dark pelt of his hair … But the meeting was due to start any moment and the chairman would not be expecting her to be skulking in the powder room.

The hospital board was already seated around a big oval table when she went back into the room, with Drake, the chairman and the retiring consultant seated centrally. When he saw her, Drake felt his heartbeat quicken and wished that their meeting—after what felt like a lifetime of regret—had been a more private one. But a part of him knew it was better this way, as a casual meeting of old friends, rather than. Rather than what? he asked himself.

As she eased herself into a seat at the far end of the table, Tessa listened to what was being said as if it were coming from another planet.

The chairman was making a presentation to the retiring consultant, who was following it with a short farewell speech, and then Drake would be introduced to those who would be working with him at the famous hospital.

He received a warm welcome from the chairman, who described him as a local man, top of his field in ophthalmology, and who, having fulfilled his obligation to a Swiss clinic, had agreed to accept the position of chief consultant at the Horizons Hospital.

There was loud applause. Tessa joined in weakly. Then Drake was on his feet, speaking briefly about the pleasure of being back in the U.K. and how he was looking forward to being amongst them. For Tessa it was like a dream from which she was sure she would awaken at any moment.

After that, routine matters were discussed and soon the assembled members retired to a nearby hotel where an evening meal had been arranged for all those present.

So far the two of them hadn’t spoken, but when she was chatting to one of the members of the hospital board, Drake went past with some of the bigwigs and called across, ‘Hi, Tessa. You’re still around, I see.’

She made no reply, just smiled a tight smile at the thought of being referred to as part of the fixtures and fittings. It was hardly the reunion her fevered brain had imagined during all those nights of tossing and turning.

As the evening wore on it seemed that quite a few of those at the meeting were booked in at the hotel for the night, Drake amongst them. Every time she thought of him being under the same roof she had to pinch herself to believe it.

Leaving most of them settled in the bar after they’d eaten, she went to her room and tried to come to terms with the day’s events. The first time she’d met him had been mesmerising and today had been no different, though for a different reason, she thought, lying wide-eyed against the pillows.

The most mind-blowing thought was that after three years of being denied his presence, she would now be seeing him on a daily basis. How was she going to cope with that? Their agreement had made it easy for him to leave her when the opportunity for a promotion had landed at his feet, and there had been no word of any kind from him since he’d left. Not one. And now they would be colleagues again. Tessa groaned into her pillow.

Drake had gone to his hotel room shortly after her and there was no smile on his face now. When he’d received the offer to work in Switzerland everything else had faded into the background. It had been a chance to improve his expertise and he’d been so keen to get over there he had given no thought to what he and Tessa had shared, so obsessed had he been with his own affairs.

It had only been as the months had become years without her that he’d realised what he’d lost in his arrogance. Too much time had passed for him to get in touch with her again, and he had felt … what? Regret? Shame?

For all he knew, she might be married with a couple of little ones, he’d told himself whenever the desire to be with her had surfaced. He’d hoped it wouldn’t stop him from making amends if the opportunity ever presented itself, and almost as if the fates had read his mind had come news of the vacancy at Horizons Hospital. Discovering that Tessa was now a senior manager at the hospital was only an additional bonus, he told himself.

He’d been anticipating her arrival at the meeting and observed the dismay in her expression when she’d seen him. There would be no warm welcome or happy reunion.

Then, fool that he was, he had made it a certainty by the patronising manner in which he’d greeted her when the meeting was over, as if she had been stagnating while he’d been on top of the world. Some of the Swiss Alps had actually seemed like the top of the world, but he’d had no chance to explore them because he’d always been too busy fulfilling his contract. He could no longer deny that he had been hoping for a different homecoming, and was plagued by flashes of memory of how things had once been between them.

In her room just down the corridor Tessa was also remembering when she and Drake had first met. It had been at a hospital staff meeting when he’d come to talk about some advances he had made in his work.

She’d arrived not intending staying long as her job was in Administration, but had been curious to see the man who was making a name for himself in eye surgery.

He’d been chatting laughingly to a group of nurses who’d been hanging on his every word as they’d waited for the meeting to begin, and Tess had been struck by dark good looks.

Having seen her arrive, he’d stepped to one side to get a better look and from the way his glance had kindled she’d known that he’d liked what he’d been seeing. Slim, elegant, with hair the colour of ripe corn, and wearing a black suit with a white silk top, Tessa Gilroy had been used to the appraisal of the opposite sex, but had rarely allowed it to proceed further than that. Her job had taken up most of her time and she’d accepted that.

But the stranger, tall and straight-backed with eyes of warm hazel and a thick, dark pelt of hair, had seemed different from any man she’d ever met, and when he’d been introduced to her as Drake Melford she’d known why.

His name had been mentioned frequently in medical circles because he’d been new, different, with a vivid, unorthodox approach that had got results, and she was to find that his attitude towards her would be the same.

Their only contact on that occasion had been a brief handshake on being introduced, and when the meeting had ended she’d left, leaving him encircled once again by admiring medical folk.

Her doorbell had rung at six the next morning and she’d found Drake Melford on the step. ‘I couldn’t sleep for thinking about you,’ he said. ‘Can I come in?’

Barefooted in a white cotton nightdress, she nodded and stepped back to let him pass, as if welcoming a man she barely knew into her apartment at that hour was something she did all the time.

She made a breakfast of sorts and they ate without speaking, eyes locked over every mouthful of food, and halfway through he pushed his chair back, lifted her up into his arms and carried her into the bedroom.

The first time they made love was rapturous. She was so in tune with his desires and the magic of his presence that it felt as if she had been waiting all her life for him to appear in it.

For the rest of the time it was slower and more sensual, and when at last Drake lay on top of the silk coverlet with his arms behind his head, he said with a slow smile on his face, ‘Wow! I haven’t felt like this in years, Tessa. You are incredible.’

It was then that they made the pact, still drowsy with fulfilment but not so sated that they couldn’t think straight.

They would take it as it came, they agreed. No ties, no commitments, no promises. There would be no babies or mortgages…. An open-ended affair.

And when Drake got dressed after that last time and slung his things into a couple of suitcases Tessa watched him in mute misery, eyes shadowed, mouth unsmiling. She didn’t speak because there was nothing to say. It had been what they’d agreed from the start … no ties.

But one of them had discovered that they didn’t want it to be like that any more and it hadn’t been him. She’d fallen in love with him, totally and for all time, and to find him back in Glenminster and part of her working life was going to take some adjustment.

Whether Drake’s life had changed since then or not, she didn’t know. But hers certainly had, because now there was Poppy. Poppy was the small bright morning star that Tessa had adopted after getting to know her while she’d been in the children’s ward in Horizons. On the strength of that, Tessa had done two of the things that they’d vowed to steer clear of all that time ago: allowed a child into her life on a permanent arrangement and taken out a mortgage.

She had moved out of the apartment where she’d lived and loved so passionately, bought a cottage built of golden stone not far from the hospital and life had been good again because there’d been love in it. A different kind of love, maybe, but love nevertheless.

Drake was standing by the window of the hotel room, gazing out to where theatres and restaurants were sending out a blaze of light onto the main street.

In the background was the everlasting drone of the traffic that would be far more noticeable when daylight came, and was a far cry from the silence of the mountains and the soft white snows of Switzerland.

But his yearnings weren’t for those. He’d left Glenminster without a second thought three years ago with an easy mind, because Tess had seemed willing enough to keep to the pact they’d made on the night they’d met.

So why was it, he asked himself, that the moment his contract in Switzerland had come to an end he’d caught the first London flight available to be there for the meeting? And why had he hired a car to take him directly to the place where they’d lived and loved until his ambition had come between them?

It wasn’t like he’d been expecting Tessa to be all dewy-eyed and panting to take up where they’d left off three years before. If he had, she would have soon put that misconception right when she’d seen him at the meeting and observed him so joylessly that the attention he’d been receiving from everyone else had seemed claustrophobic.

If she was going straight home in the morning, would she let him give her a lift? he wondered. For all he knew, she might be turning the occasion of the AGM into a shopping trip or a theatre break and he could hardly go knocking on her bedroom door to question her plans after three years of silence and all that had passed between them …

He had planned on making an early start because he had to find somewhere to live when he got to Gloucestershire. He wanted to be settled into some kind of accommodation before appearing at the hospital in his new role on Monday morning. So it would seem that unless they met at breakfast their first proper encounter would be at work, under the eagle eyes of their colleagues. It was hardly ideal, but they were professionals and they would make the best of it.

It turned out that Tessa was already in the dining room amongst a smattering of other early risers when he went downstairs at six o’clock the next morning, and before he could give it another thought he stopped by her table and said, ‘I’ve got a hire car and will be leaving shortly. Can I give you a lift to Gloucestershire?’

‘No, thanks just the same,’ she told him levelly, in the process of buttering a piece of toast. ‘I have a seat booked on an early train. The taxi that I’ve arranged to take me to the station will be here soon.’

‘Are you still at the same address?’ he asked casually, letting the rebuff wash off him.

‘No, I’ve moved recently,’ was the curt reply, and then to his surprise she followed up with ‘If you haven’t got any accommodation arranged, there is the house in the grounds of the hospital that the retiring consultant has been living in.

‘The property was bequeathed to Horizons in the will of some grateful patient and is now vacant. I’m sure it could be made available to you if you wished.’

Drake was frowning. ‘I don’t want any fuss, Tessa, I’m here to work.’ He realised his tone had come across perhaps a little harshly, so he added, ‘But I suppose living so near work could be very useful.’

In truth, he was amazed. After her tepid reaction to his return he hadn’t expected her to do him any favours. He was the one who’d been a selfish blighter all that time ago and anyone observing them now would find it hard to believe they’d been lovers.

‘I will most certainly look into that,’ he assured her, dragging his mind back from the past.

Meanwhile, Tessa’s only thought was whether there would be anyone sharing the place with him if it was available.

It was an old house that its previous owner had cherished, with high vaulted ceilings, curving staircases and spacious rooms all furnished with antique objects, with its biggest benefit being that it was only a matter of minutes away from the hospital for the consultant in charge when needed.

‘Now that you mention it, I seem to remember something about being offered it when I accepted the position,’ he said, ‘but I had so much on my mind at the time I’d completely forgotten about it. So thanks for that, Tessa.’ Could he sound more like an idiot? Drake thought to himself.

She shrugged as if it were of no matter. ‘You would have heard about it sooner or later.’

‘Yes, well, thanks anyway,’ he told her, and as a member of the dining room staff came to show him to a table, added, ‘Until Monday morning, then.’

She nodded and turned back to her tea and toast, hoping that she hadn’t given any sign of the fast-beating heart that the turmoil inside her was responsible for. Having already settled her account, when her taxi arrived she left the hotel as swiftly as possible, and without a backward glance.

So far so good, Drake thought sombrely as he watched her go. At least they were on speaking terms and Tessa had taken the trouble to tell him that his accommodation arrangements might soon be solved. But who was it that she had moved house for?

She wouldn’t have left her beloved apartment for no reason, and he could hardly expect that her life had been on hold while he’d been away. She’d watched him leave that day without a murmur. Or could it have been that he hadn’t given her a chance to get a word in with his obsession about the job in Switzerland, and the opportunities for developing new techniques it had presented?

But he’d made his choice and paid the price. It had been over then and nothing had changed. It wasn’t like he’d returned to Horizons for her. He’d wanted the job—and to see her for old times’ sake, not to rekindle what had once been between them.

But that wasn’t to say that he’d forgotten the passion they’d shared, or how it had felt to lie in each other’s arms. So much so that he hadn’t slept with anyone since, hadn’t found anyone he’d wanted to share that with. Now that he had some distance, he could see that what they’d had was without equal—but he didn’t regret taking the Swiss job, which had developed his skills and offered him a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Now, for better or worse, he was back and he couldn’t deny that a part of him was curious to see if there was anything left of it.

He could tell from Tessa’s manner that his return hadn’t sent her into raptures—far from it—but perhaps beneath her frosty reception she was as curious as he to see whether any of the old passion remained. The old Tessa certainly would have been.

On the train journey home Tessa rang her friend Lizzie, who was Poppy’s childminder and the only person she would entrust her adopted daughter to stay with overnight, and was told that she’d been fine. A little bit weepy at bedtime but a couple of stories had made her eyelids start to droop and then she’d slept right through the night.

‘I should be with you by lunchtime and will come straight to your place,’ Tessa told her, but Lizzie suggested bringing Poppy to the station to meet her, knowing how she would be longing to see her again. Tessa was anxious to hold her little girl in her arms again, and thanked Lizzie, who was mother to two cute little ones of her own. But when her friend asked if the meeting had justified the long journey and overnight stay in London, Tessa could only reply that it had been full of strange surprises.

She didn’t regret refusing Drake’s offer of a lift home, even though it would have been faster. The thought of being in close contact with him for three to four hours had been inconceivable.

Until yesterday he had been out of her life completely and now he’d come back into it with the same ease as when he’d appeared at her door at six o’clock in the morning an eternity ago, and now she was wishing him far away … Or was she?

With Drake back in her life he would no longer be a shadowy figure from her past. She would be able to see him and hear him, but would also have to keep him at a distance.

Her life had been transformed with Poppy in it. The little one had been in care, waiting to be adopted after losing her parents in a car crash, and when she’d been brought into Horizons soon after with a bleed behind her eye from the accident, Tessa had been drawn to the solemn little orphaned girl and had spent much of her free time beside Poppy’s bed.

‘You are just what the child needs,’ her social worker had said.

‘What! A single mother!’ she’d exclaimed. ‘Hardly! My life has never been planned to include children.’

But the seed had been sown and the more she’d thought about it the more she had known that she wanted to take care of Poppy. So the proceedings to adopt had begun, with every step along the way feeling to Tessa more and more that it was the right thing to do. If she needed any confirmation of it, the happy little child that Poppy had become was proof.

If Drake had any recollection of the pact they’d once made, he was in for a surprise, she thought, and as the train left the station on the last leg of her journey home she was wishing that he had stayed in the place that he’d been so eager to go to, because now she had her life sorted.

They were waiting for her on the station platform, Lizzie holding Poppy’s hand tightly as the train stopped, and when she saw her, the little one cried, ‘Mummy Two!’ It was the name that Tessa had taught Poppy to call her so that ‘Mummy One’ wasn’t forgotten, and as she held her little girl close her world righted itself.

‘So where are the boys?’ she asked Lizzie, whose twins were the same age as Poppy.

‘They are at home with their daddy. He’s taking a few days’ leave from work so I didn’t need to bring them,’ Lizzie explained, as she pointed to where her car was parked. As they walked towards it she asked, ‘So what went wrong while you were in London, Tessa? You didn’t sound very happy when you phoned.’

‘You aren’t going to believe it when I tell you,’ she told her. ‘Guess who is taking charge at Horizons from Monday?’

‘I haven’t a clue. Who is it?’ she asked.

‘Drake is to be the new chief consultant. Drake Melford!’

‘What?’ Lizzie cried. ‘He’s back here in Glenminster? How do you feel about that?’

‘Honestly, I’m shattered at the thought. My life is sorted, Lizzie. I’m happy as I am with Poppy and my job. They fill my days.’

‘Have you actually spoken to him?’

‘Yes. He’s on his way here in a hire car and offered me a lift, which I refused … needless to say.’

‘And he’s taking over on Monday?’

‘Yes, giving me no time to compose myself after our London meeting,’ Tessa replied, looking down at Poppy, who was holding her hand tightly, ‘but nothing is going to interfere with my life and Poppy’s. Drake will be in my working life—that I can’t help—but for the rest of it he will be just as much out of it as he has been during the years we’ve been apart.’

Her first thought on awakening on Monday morning was that she would be in the same place as Drake today. Indeed, it was a while before she could focus on anything else. For not only would she be in the same place as Drake today, she would be for the foreseeable future. While their professional goals would be aligned, she could imagine him making his entrance into the life of Horizons Hospital with his usual charm and confidence, while she would be struggling just to keep afloat.

But at least she wouldn’t be on the wards or in Theatre, where he would surely be. That would be intolerable, so if the chance came to stay in her office all day she would take it. Coward, she couldn’t help but think.

What about all the other days when she would be out there, arranging and improving the standard of care that the hospital provided for its patients? She couldn’t hide in her office every day.

She’d risen through the ranks because of her expertise, efficiency and professional manner. She had years of experience, having worked in a similar capacity on cruise ships, and wanting to revert to dry land for a change had gone into hospital administration. She couldn’t help but wonder how her life would have been different if she’d never met him, if she’d stayed on cruise ships perhaps.

But there was no point going over what couldn’t be changed. And, anyway, she could never regret the road that had brought her darling Poppy into her life.

Her friend Lizzie lived on the other side of the hospital, at the edge of a town that was endowed with the beautiful architecture of bygone days and wide shopping promenades. It was an arrangement that suited both mothers. As well as putting Tessa’s mind at rest, knowing her little adopted daughter was cared for by someone she could trust during working hours, it provided Lizzie with an income of her own and gave the two friends an excuse to see each other very often.