Kitabı oku: «Falling for the Teacher»
Love Is Never Where You Expect.…
Though she once fled from Pinewood, Sadie Spencer can’t stay away when her ailing grandparents need her. But she never expected to come face-to-face with the brother of the man who caused her to leave town. Sadie doesn’t care how honest or kind Cole Aylward may seem—she isn’t about to let him continue managing her family’s business.
Cole has worked hard to prove he’s nothing like his brother. All he wants is to try to make up for the hurt Payne caused her family. But slowly Sadie’s quiet determination and bravery helps him face his own fears. Can Cole convince her he’s a man worthy of the trust she longs to give?
“I want no wages.”
Cole’s voice was gruff, the words more brusque than he’d intended, but she’d touched a sore spot.
“I don’t understand.” A tiny vertical frown line formed between Sadie’s delicately arched brows. “It’s only fair. I’m certain Poppa would insist.”
He shook his head. “My compensation is in making up for the pain my brother caused. I wish I could change what he did, Sadie, but I cannot. This is all I can do.” He took hold of the ledgers, careful not to touch her hands, and turned to leave before he said more than he ought.
“Cole…”
“Yes?” He looked back at her. There were tears in her eyes. They might as well have been knives the way they pierced his heart.
“It’s not your fault.” She blinked her eyes and smiled, but her lips trembled. “Thank you for your kindness.”
Her throat worked, her hand rubbed her arm, and everything in him wanted to hold her, to comfort her.…
DOROTHY CLARK
Critically acclaimed, award-winning author Dorothy Clark lives in rural New York, in a home she designed and helped her husband build (she swings a mean hammer!) with the able assistance of their three children. When she is not writing, she and her husband enjoy traveling throughout the United States, doing research and gaining inspiration for future books. Dorothy believes in God, love, family and happy endings, which explains why she feels so at home writing stories for Love Inspired Books. Dorothy enjoys hearing from her readers and may be contacted at dorothyjclark@hotmail.com.
Falling for the Teacher
Dorothy Clark
The fear of man bringeth a snare:
but whoso putteth his trust in the Lord shall be safe.
—Proverbs 29:25
This book is dedicated with admiration and appreciation to the assistant editors, the art department and all the others at Love Inspired Historical who diligently work to make my books the best they can be. Thank you, all.
A special thank-you to Sam. I’ve run out of words, but not out of gratitude for your faithfulness, humor and friendship.
“Commit thy works unto the Lord, and thy thoughts shall be established.”
Your Word is truth. Thank You, Jesus.
To You be the glory.
Contents
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Dear Reader
Questions for Discussion
Excerpt
Chapter One
June 1841
Pinewood Village, New York
Pinewood. Sadie crowded back into the corner and tugged her bonnet forward as her hired carriage rolled through the village. The news of her return would spread like a brush fire if she was recognized. Sadie Spencer is back. Sadie Spencer is home.
Her stomach quivered. In two weeks it would be four years since the incident. Memories surged. She closed her mind to the bad ones—or tried to. Perhaps returning to Pinewood would exorcise them—and the fear. How she wished she could live without that fear! Please, Almighty God, grant that it might be so. She took a breath to calm her stomach and pulled the small purse dangling from her wrist into her trembling hands.
The driver’s polite touch of his hat brim sent her pushing deeper into the corner where she would not be seen by two women standing at the edge of the road waiting to cross. A wagon passed by loaded with baled shingles and traveling in the other direction. She released her pent-up breath and lifted her head.
The horse’s hoofs clattered against planks and the carriage lurched as the wheels climbed onto the wood. Stony Creek Bridge. A smile trembled on her lips. How many hours had she, Callie, Willa and Ellen spent in the cool shadow beneath its span trying to best Daniel at skipping stones on the water?
The carriage rocked off the bridge, swaying left onto Brook Street. A snap of the reins urged the horse to greater speed and her smile died. It wouldn’t be long now.
Her chest tightened with longing to be back behind the brick walls of the young ladies’ seminary in Rochester. She’d not been outside those walls since she’d fled there four years before, and if not for her grandparents’ need, she would be in that safe haven still. She would never have willingly returned to Pinewood. Never.
The carriage tilted, slowed as the horse started up the incline outside of the village. She slipped back to the center of the seat and caught her breath at the sight of the forested hills on either side of the dirt road. Only one more turn to make when they reached the top of the hill.
She dug her fingernails into her palms, struggling against a surge of dread. When she’d received Callie’s letter, she’d told herself it would be all right, that she would care for Nanna and Poppa in the safety of the Sheffield House, but that was not to be. Her grandparents had left Sophia’s hotel and returned home to Butternut Hill.
She had to go back there.
Oh, Lord, give me strength.
* * *
“Your grandfolks are in the garden. I’ll take these up to your room.” The housekeeper picked up her bags and looked at her. “It’s good you’re home, Miss Sadie.”
The underlying sadness in Gertrude’s voice constricted her throat, making speech impossible. She nodded, removed her bonnet and walked down the entrance hall and into the dining room. The window framed her grandparents seated on the wooden garden bench, the stockade fence and the wooded path beyond. Love swelled her heart, blocking out the fear. She pushed open the door, ran across the porch and rushed down the steps. “Nanna! Poppa!” Their gray heads turned her direction. They stared. Her feet took wings.
“Sadie!”
She leaned down and hugged her grandmother, reveling in the feel of the soft arms holding her close, the small pudgy hands patting her, offering comfort as she sobbed out the long years of loneliness against the shoulder that had so often been washed by her tears as a child.
“Oh, Sadie...Sadie...Sadie...” Her grandmother patted her back, her shoulder, touched her cheek, smoothed her hair. “Hush, sweeting, hush. It’s all right. Everything is all right.”
Tears and laughter bubbled into her throat at the old-fashioned, familiar endearment. It was all right. Her grandmother knew her. After reading Callie’s and Willa’s letters, she’d been so afraid.... She straightened and wiped the tears from her face. “Oh, Nanna, I have missed you so.”
She kissed her grandmother’s soft, moist cheek and turned toward the silent man staring at her from the bench. “And you, Poppa.” She kissed his cheek at the edge of his gray beard, felt his arm slip around her in a hard hug. One arm.
“Wel...come...home, Sa...die.”
The words were hesitant, slightly slurred. Tears clogged her throat again. She sank to her knees in front of her grandfather and took hold of his hands. His left hand gripped back; the right moved slightly, stilled. Her chest tightened. “I made arrangements to come home as soon as I heard of your illness, Poppa.” Remorse flowed on a torrent of tears. She laid her cheek against their clasped hands. “I’m so sorry I was not with you when you needed me.”
“Daniel should have brought you home.”
Daniel? She jerked up her head.
Her grandmother huffed and patted her shoulder. “What’s more, he shouldn’t have taken you off prowling through the woods in the first place. I worry when you go off with your friends, Sadie.”
Her heart twisted at the absent look in her grandmother’s eyes. Her grandfather’s hand squeezed hers. She glanced at him, read the message of protective concern in his eyes and gave a slight nod. “I’m sorry, Nanna.” She rose and brushed the dust from her skirt to gain a moment to control the sorrow flooding her heart. Callie and Willa were right—her grandmother was ill in her mind. “I won’t go off again.”
Boots thudded on the hard-beaten path behind her—the path that trailed through the woods to her grandfather’s sawmill. Her heart stopped, her lungs seized at the remembered sound. She whirled, stared at the tall, broad-shouldered man dressed in logger garb who stepped from the shadows under the trees and strode toward her, just like before. The early evening light receded, the earth swayed.
The man rushed forward, reached for her.
* * *
“Put her there on the settee! I’ll fetch water.”
Cole frowned and watched Rachel Townsend hurrying toward the kitchen. Would she return, or forget what she was doing? He looked down at the slender young woman draped across his arms, and his breath shortened. He had no doubt things would change now that she’d returned. And not for the better. Not for him.
He leaned down, laid Sadie Spencer on the settee, lifted her limp arm and placed it across her body.
A small, breathy moan escaped her. Her eyelids fluttered then stilled, the long lashes forming dark smudges against her pale skin. He glanced at the small pearl buttons fastening the high collar of her brown dress and his fingers twitched to undo them to make it easier for her to breathe, but given the past, that action could be misconstrued. He stood frozen, staring at the fine-boned, patrician features of the woman his brother had attacked. She looked so...fragile. And the terror in her eyes when she’d turned and seen him...
The brutal savagery of Payne’s deed struck him anew. He sucked in air, clenched his hands at his sides. He’d spent the past four years working to live down the shame of Payne’s act, to prove that he himself was decent and honorable, and the people of Pinewood were finally beginning to trust and befriend him. And now Sadie Spencer had come home.
He gazed down at Manning Townsend’s granddaughter lying so still and pale against the blue silk of the settee. Odd that such a beautiful young woman would be dangerous for him, but Sadie Spencer could undo all of his hard work simply by her return. Her presence in Pinewood was bound to stir people’s memories, to bring back the anger and distrust that had faced him when he’d come to Pinewood to find Payne and tell him of their parents’ deaths.
He stiffened, breathed hard against the pressure in his chest and rubbed the tense muscles in the back of his neck. He hadn’t suspected the violence and depravity that ran in his brother’s veins until that day—had been sickened when he’d learned what Payne had done. Now, his brother’s actions seemed more real. And if seeing Sadie Spencer made him feel that way...
He huffed out a breath and pushed away the memory of the terror in her eyes when she saw him. Sorry as he was for her, he couldn’t let her destroy all the goodwill he had so painstakingly cultivated and ruin the new life and business he’d built here. He’d have to convince her—
“What are you doing? Get away from my granddaughter!”
He jerked his head around. Rachel Townsend stood in the doorway, a scowl in the place of her normal pleasant expression, her hands gripping a wet cloth.
“I said get away from my granddaughter!” She rushed toward him, her lips pressed into a tight line, her small, free hand waving through the air.
Was her anger because of the confusion that was occurring more often? Or was her reaction to his being there beside her granddaughter nothing to do with her slipping grasp on the present? Was the condemnation toward him for Payne’s heinous act already returning?
He clenched his jaw, stepped away from the settee and headed outside to get Manning.
* * *
The trembling woke her. Bile pushed at her throat. She’d had the nightmare again. Sadie drew in a slow, deep breath to control the nausea and opened her eyes.
“Feeling better, sweeting?” Her grandmother frowned down at her. “What happened, Sadie? Why did you swoon like that? Are you ill?”
She blinked, took another breath. Her head cleared. She was home. “No, Nanna, I’m not ill. It must have been the...excitement of coming home.” Something cold slid across her temple. She lifted her hand, removed the wet cloth and pushed to a sitting position, still quivering. The nightmare had never before come while she was awake. It must have been returning to Butternut Hill that—
The sound of boot heels thudding against the wood floor jolted her upright. She turned toward the doorway, stared at her nightmare in the flesh.
“It’s...all right, Sa...die.”
She glanced at her grandfather being carried in the man’s arms, looked back up at that bearded face, shuddered.
“I’m Cole Aylward, not...my brother.” He strode across the room toward them.
Payne Aylward’s brother? She backed up, bumped against the settee and grasped the high, curved arm.
“Give me the cloth, Sadie. You’re getting everything wet.”
She looked down at the dripping cloth, eased her grip on it and handed it to her grandmother—bit down on her lower lip to keep from calling her back as she started from the room.
“Thank...you.”
She darted her gaze back to the man lowering her grandfather into his favored chair, brushed a wet tendril of hair back off her forehead and tried to make some sort of sense of everything. “May I ask what you are doing here, Mr. Aylward?” I should think this home is the last place you would want to be. She pressed her lips together to keep from turning the thought into speech.
“Manning’s not yet able to get around by himself. I drop by throughout the day to see if he needs anything.”
She stared at his broad shoulders, his powerful arms and hands. “You come every day?” Her voice quavered and she took a breath to steady it, squared her shoulders at his answering nod.
“Then I’m certain you’ll be pleased that will no longer be necessary. As I’m here to care for my grandfather now, there’ll be no need for us to impinge on your...kindness...further.”
Her courage failed when he straightened and turned to face her. She hid her shaking hands in the folds of her long skirt and stiffened her spine.
“And are you going to carry Manning to his bed when it’s time for him to retire? And carry him to the table in the morning when he rises? Or out to the garden so he can enjoy the sun and fresh air?”
His tone was conversational, but there was an underlying steeliness in Cole Aylward’s voice that caught at her throat and stole her breath. She stared at him, stunned by the questions he so calmly presented—questions that emphasized how ill-prepared she was for the changed situation in her home. She clenched her hidden hands and lifted her chin. “I shall hire someone.”
“No! Want...Cole...”
“Thank you, Manning.” Cole Aylward rested his large hand on her grandfather’s shoulder, then fixed his gaze on her. “I appreciate your thoughtfulness of my time, Miss Spencer, but there’s no need for you to go to that trouble or expense. Neighbors look out for one another, and—”
“Neighbors?”
“Yes.” A frown creased his forehead. “I thought your grandmother or...someone...would have written to tell you I took over Pay—my brother’s cabin and have built a shingle mill on the property.”
He lived in Payne’s cabin? So near... A chill skittered down her spine. Her pulse fluttered. She slipped her hand up to cover the base of her throat.
“Are you all right?” He started toward her.
She jerked back and he froze.
Her grandmother bustled into the room, her long skirts swishing back and forth with the sway of her ample hips, and beamed a smile at them. “Gertrude is ready to serve supper. Please bring Manning to the table, Cole.” Her smile widened, deepening the wrinkles in her aged face. “You’ll be joining us, of course. I had Gertrude set a place for you. We’re having roasted beef and potatoes.”
No! Don’t invite him! She stared at her grandmother in stunned silence. Had she forgotten what had happened? Her stomach roiled. She pressed her hand against it, drew air into her lungs to protest.
“Not tonight, Mrs. Townsend. Thank you kindly for the invitation, but I don’t wish to intrude upon your granddaughter’s homecoming. Next time, perhaps.”
Next time? So he was going to ignore her wishes.
“I’ll just carry Manning in and then come back a bit later to take him in to his bed.”
At least he was leaving for now. Good. She would have time to convince her grandfather it would be better to hire someone to help him. Her pulse steadied.
“Nonsense! I’ll not hear of it.” Her grandmother gave a small, dismissive wave with her pudgy hand. “You’re so kind to Father, the least we can do is offer our hospitality in return.”
Oh, Nanna, don’t—Father? Tears stung her eyes. She bowed her head and stared down at the leaf pattern woven into the blue silk of the settee as her grandmother chatted on about their daughter and her husband also joining them for supper. The tears overflowed. She drew a slow breath and exhaled softly. Her mother and father had died when she was three years old, and her mother had been her grandparents’ only child.
“Are you coming, Sadie?”
She lifted her head and curved her lips in the best smile she could summon. “Yes, Nanna, I’m coming. It’s been a long time since I’ve had any of Gertrude’s roast beef.” She released her grip on the settee and started for the dining room, trying to ignore the despair that gripped her at her grandmother’s illness and to smother the unease that filled her at the thought of Cole Aylward sitting at their table sharing their meal.
Chapter Two
Sadie cut a bite off her piece of roast beef and pushed it around her plate in a pretense of eating. She couldn’t swallow food. Her stomach was knotted and her throat so constricted it ached.
“Good...trip, Sa...die?”
She looked to the end of the table, smiled even as her heart broke yet again at the sight of her grandfather’s right arm hanging useless at his side. “It was long and wearying, but uneventful, Poppa.” She looked into his brown eyes, warm with love and concern, and forced a touch of humor into her voice. “None of the stages overturned—though it often seemed as though they might.”
“Careless dri...vers?”
Oh, how it hurt to watch him struggle to talk. She shook her head and cleared her throat, widened her smile. “I think it was that they were more concerned with keeping to their schedules than with their passengers’ comfort.”
“Thankfully Philby is never careless.”
She glanced at her grandmother. “Who is—” Her grandfather’s fork clanged against his plate. She looked back, saw the warning in his eyes, the quick shake of his head and swallowed the rest of the question.
“This beef is excellent, Mrs. Townsend.” Cole Aylward’s deep voice filled the uncomfortable silence. “And these honeyed carrots are delicious. You certainly know how to set a good table.”
“Thank you, Cole. You’re very kind.” Her grandmother smiled, then looked her way and frowned. “You’re not eating, Sadie. Is the beef not to your liking?”
“It’s very good, Nanna. It’s only that I’m...weary from my journey.”
“Rochester is a long distance.” She watched Cole’s knife slice through the meat on his plate as casually as his voice cleaved the air over the table between them. “I understand you are a teacher in a seminary there, Miss Spencer. Do you enjoy your position?”
“I did.”
His hands stilled. He looked up, focused his attention on her. So did her grandfather and grandmother. Her heart sank. She’d hoped to wait until she was alone with her grandparents to announce her news, but that wasn’t possible now. She folded her hands in her lap and took a breath. “I’ve resigned my position.”
“Oh, Sadie, I’m so glad!” Her grandmother clasped her hands, beamed a smile at her.
“Sa...die...”
There was sadness in her grandfather’s voice. She looked into his eyes and knew he’d guessed she’d left the seminary because of his illness. She shook her head and smiled. “I know what you’re thinking, Poppa—but you’re wrong. I wanted to come home. I’ve missed Pinewood, my friends and both of you most of all. Your illness merely gave me the impetus to leave now.”
“So you are staying, not merely visiting?”
Cole Aylward sounded...what? Concerned? Why should that be? She wished she had the courage to look into his eyes and read what was written there. She drew her shoulders back, lifted her chin and fastened her gaze on his black beard. “Yes. I’m staying.”
* * *
He looked so frail, her strong Poppa being carried off to bed like a child. Sadie gripped the hooped rail of the chair she stood behind and fought to hold on to control. The unexpected encounter with Cole Aylward and the hard truths that had confronted her one after another since her arrival had brought her close to breaking down. Reading about her grandparents’ infirmities in a letter was one thing—witnessing them herself was another.
Her grandfather was helpless, his right leg and arm useless, his speech impaired. And her grandmother, her dear, sweet Nanna—
No! She yanked her mind from that path, her emotions too battered to manage it. She clenched her hands tighter, pressed the chair rail into her palms and soft finger pads to curb the need to throw herself into her grandmother’s arms and cry away all the hurt and fear threatening to overwhelm her. She had to be the strong one now. Dear God, please help me to be what they need me to be.
She dragged her gaze from her grandmother, who was hurrying out the parlor door to turn back the bed brought down from upstairs to what was the morning room. “Sleep well, Poppa. I’ll see you in the morning.” The quiver in her voice didn’t match the smile she forced to her lips.
“Good...night, Sa...die.” His stammering response almost undid her. She looked at Cole Aylward and took refuge in her confusion. Why was he spending his time helping her grandfather? Given what had happened, it made no sense—even if he was their closest neighbor. Was he cruel like his brother? She’d seen no sign of it tonight, but that meant nothing. Payne Aylward had hidden his cruelty from everyone—until it was too late.
A shudder shook her. She released her hold on the back of the chair, followed Cole from the parlor and stood in the entrance hall until he had entered the morning room, then lifted her hems and hurried up the stairs to the landing. She didn’t want to be down there when he came out of that room alone. She could reach her bedroom and lock him out from here should he come after her.
Such strength in his arms. Like his brother.
Shivers coursed through her, stole her strength. She leaned against the wall, stared at the candle sconce across from her and waited for the memory to pass. She’d given up hoping it would go away.
“...in the morning.”
Cole. She held her breath and listened to the sound of his footfalls in the downstairs hallway. The door to the morning room closed. She gathered her courage and moved to grasp the top of the banister to lend strength to her shaking knees. “May I have a word with you, Mr. Aylward?”
He paused, turned and looked up at her. “In the sitting room?”
“This is fine.”
The dim light outlined his tall form at the bottom of the stairs. “I am not my brother, Miss Spencer. You’ve nothing to fear from me.”
How easily he discerned her thoughts. She tightened her grip on the banister and braced herself against the memories, the quivering that took her. “We will not speak of that, Mr. Aylward. I only wanted to express my appreciation for the care you have given my grandfather. And to tell you, again, that I intend to free you from that...service, as soon as possible.”
“You are going to hire someone to care for Manning?”
“I am going to hire someone to help with the physical labor involved. I will care for Poppa.”
“I see.” Lamplight flickered over the knit hat he pulled from his pocket. “I misjudged you, Miss Spencer. I didn’t think you were the sort of woman who would condemn a man who has done no wrong, nor go against her grandfather’s wishes.” His head dipped in a small bow and he stepped back from the stairs. “I will be here in the morning...and for as long as Manning wishes my help. Good evening.” He tugged his hat on his head and strode down the hall toward the dining room. The back door opened and closed.
How dare he make her the guilty one! She caught up her hems and ran to her bedroom, crossed to the window and watched Cole Aylward striding down the garden path toward the woods, the rising moon casting silver epaulets on his broad shoulders. Memories drove her from the window before he neared the trees and the entrance to the wooded path that led to her grandfather’s sawmill.
* * *
Cole glanced right and left, aware as never before of how the trees encroached upon the path, of their thick trunks and looming branches. He slowed his steps at the curve where it had happened, took a breath against the sudden clench of his stomach. He’d walked this path at least a hundred times, but now he’d seen her. That made it all different.
The sylvan depths drew his gaze, halted his steps. How easy it would be to steal silent and unseen from trunk to trunk in order to overtake someone walking along the path. Is that how Payne had done it?
He raised his arm and scrubbed his hand across his eyes, trying to rid himself of the image of the fear on Sadie’s face as she’d stood on the stairs looking down at him. Payne had caused that fear. Payne, who had been so pleasant and funny and kind. What had changed in his brother that he could do that to someone?
His gut churned. Bile surged into his throat. He fisted his hands and continued down the path toward Manning Townsend’s sawmill. If only he’d been here when the attack took place. Perhaps he could have prevented it somehow or at least found out what had caused Payne to do such a thing. He knew his brother’s habits, had hunted and fished with him. He could have tracked him down, talked him into staying and facing justice, helped him atone somehow. But Payne had already disappeared when he’d come to Pinewood to tell him their mother and father were dead, and Payne’s trail had been obliterated by the angry men of Pinewood who were searching the hills for him.
Cole climbed the steps to the sawmill deck and stepped under the shingled roof, walked by the silent saws and entered the attached office. He stepped behind the partition he’d built, jammed his hat onto one of the pegs he’d driven into the wall, shucked his shirt and hung it on another peg, then sat on the wood edge of his cot and tugged off his boots.
The horror and disgust, regret and guilt that had weighed so heavily on him when he’d learned of Payne’s actions had returned full force when he’d looked into Sadie Spencer’s eyes and now sat like a rock in his stomach—though why it should he didn’t understand. He’d stayed in Pinewood and tried to find Payne to bring him back to face justice in spite of the disgust and distrust of the irate villagers who’d watched his every move with suspicion. He’d trudged countless times to the outcropping of rock where the men said they’d lost all trace of Payne’s trail to see if he could find something they had missed. It wasn’t for lack of trying that he’d failed. He had no reason to feel guilty. But the way she’d looked at him...
He yanked off his socks, flung them over his boot tops, rose and snatched the soap and a towel from the make-do washstand. The rough puncheons scraped against his bare feet as he marched to the end of the sawmill deck, dropped the towel and dove into the deep pool formed by the stone dam. The shock of the icy mountain-stream water drove all thought from his mind.
He soaped his hair, threw the soap up onto the deck, did a surface dive and swam upstream underwater to let the current from the overflow carry the soap film away.
If only it could carry away his troubled thoughts that had resurfaced. He kicked his trouser-clad legs, dug hard and deep with his arms and circled around the pond until his shoulders and arms screamed for mercy and his lungs burned for air. What sort of depravity coursed through his brother’s veins that he could look at a woman as delicately beautiful, as quiet and refined as Sadie Spencer and then—
He arched and dove deep, swam to the center of the gently rippling water, flipped over onto his back and stared up at the stars, bright against the dark sky. Peaceful evening sounds filled the night as the water lapped over his chest, but the fear he’d been carrying around for four years wouldn’t leave. Wash me clean, Lord, wash me clean. Don’t let that violence and depravity be in me.
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